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EP46 - Advice or Life Coaching... You Decide · Oh And One More Thing

0:34
hey everybody, I'm Brian. Welcome to.
0:36
Oh, and one more thing. Hey, I'm Rob and it's a new day,
0:39
a new podcast, a new outlook on life.
0:42
Are you on crack? What's so good about it?
0:44
Come on now, we had a great time this past weekend.
0:46
Went to dinner on Friday night with some really wacky friends
0:48
of. Ours.
0:49
Who are they? Well, that's you.
0:50
I know this. Really.
0:53
You guys brought us to this really cool restaurant in a cute
0:55
little town of Delano. Yeah, it was.
0:57
Good, really good food, really good drinks.
0:58
That was fun, and it's fun, and then after it took us to our
1:01
cute little Speakeasy in town, which we've never been to.
1:03
I know it was fun, right? It was a.
1:05
Blast and a great. Band.
1:07
Really. Cool band.
1:07
The Jason Paulson band. Yeah, it's good.
1:09
It was. They were so good.
1:09
And they're kind of. I like them because they're
1:11
cover band, but they don't like play the cover song straight.
1:15
Like they'll make a rock song, make a country or.
1:17
Yeah, they have like a country twist to them.
1:19
Yeah, it was really cool, but there was one song that did
1:21
drive me kind of nuts. What's that?
1:23
So you remember the classic hit by Paul Simon, Fifty Ways to
1:25
Leave Your Lover? Yeah.
1:27
So he told us there's fifty ways to leave your lover, but he only
1:29
provided did five in the song. What?
1:31
Slip out the back, Jack. Yeah.
1:33
Make a new plan, Stan. OK, Don't need to be coy, Roy.
1:36
Right? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
1:38
Hop on the bus, Gus. Drop off the key, Lee.
1:41
Yeah, and that's all. Where are the other 45 Paul?
1:44
Where are the other 45, Paul? That's funny.
1:50
Let this hang. In and I don't like it, but it
1:53
was fun. That was good.
1:54
I would definitely go back. That was a cool place.
1:55
Yeah, that's cool. Cool vibe.
1:56
You know, this week has felt like it lasted a month.
1:59
Really. Yeah, it is a loud catic month
2:02
with no lunch. Breaks.
2:02
That's exactly right. Monday alone tried to Take Me
2:05
Out. Project deadlines, surprise
2:08
meetings. I hate those.
2:09
And my laptop updating at the worst possible moment.
2:12
Oh my God, that. Is the worst.
2:13
That's so classic isn't it? Mine froze last night too.
2:16
There's got to be something in the air.
2:17
Right, that seems to be the theme lately.
2:19
All I know is just keep moving and trust it'll work itself out.
2:24
And somehow it did. I hit all my deadlines and is it
2:27
Friday yet? Right.
2:28
Keep on swimming. Keep on swimming.
2:30
Keep on. Yeah, it's almost Friday, which
2:33
I'm excited about. It's Thursday.
2:34
But just keep taking one step at a time.
2:36
You'll get through it. You know you're the more
2:38
resilient than you give yourself credit for, right?
2:40
Yeah, I know, I know. How did this turn into a therapy
2:43
session? I prefer accidental life
2:45
coaching. I'll send an invoice.
2:50
Hey, did you know life coaching is a booming industry right now?
2:53
Yeah. Right, there's podcast retreats,
2:55
branded water bottles. Yeah.
2:58
And people named Ash who are in charge of $400.00 an hour to ask
3:02
you how that makes you feel. $100 a time.
3:05
This isn't a self help podcast, is it?
3:08
No God no. Well, not all the time.
3:10
Not all the time, But none of them.
3:13
None have the raw, unfiltered wisdom of 2 middle-aged ads.
3:17
Maybe standing next to a grill holding a beer, nodding
3:20
knowingly at absolutely nothing. OK, we know a lot more than you
3:24
think we do. Right or at.
3:26
Least I think we know more than we think we do.
3:29
Or maybe doing a podcast that brings you knowledge and wisdom
3:31
to your everyday life. Right?
3:33
Yeah. Life coaching today is sleek.
3:35
It has branding. It has acronyms.
3:37
It has people who wake up at 4:00 AM voluntarily to tell you
3:40
that you should too. Oh my gosh, that's stupid.
3:42
But I do wake up at 3:47 AM for no reason, staring at the
3:47
ceiling and thinking about a conversation from 2009.
3:50
Yeah, right. That sucks.
3:50
I do it all the time. Tell me, 'cause that's got to be
3:52
a middle-aged thing, 'cause I get up at the same time every
3:55
day. It's about 334 o'clock.
3:57
Yeah, I watch the clock until my alarm is set for 5:25.
4:00
But every day at 5:20, there I am.
4:01
Why? To wait, Waiting for the alarm
4:03
to go off. Yeah, the circadian rhythm there
4:06
or not? I don't know, but I mean
4:07
together we have 7 kids, 2 mortgages, 1 shared belief that
4:10
nobody knows what they're doing, and really, the sooner you
4:13
realize that, the better you will feel about your life.
4:17
We have not read every self health book.
4:19
What's a book? What's a book?
4:21
But we have, however, lived through career pivots we didn't
4:24
plan for, technology we didn't ask for Well, maybe in some
4:28
cases we did. Back and knee pain that arrived
4:32
uninvited and never left. Understand analog and digital?
4:37
Well, for the most part. For the most part.
4:38
So this is our life coaching system for you.
4:41
No upsell, no retreat, just wisdom forged in the glow of
4:45
alarm clock at 3:47 AM. That's.
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Right, nothing to sell. We have.
4:49
We have some shirts and hats we could sell you.
4:52
Yes, you could. 11 More Thing pod@gmail.com.
4:55
All right, plug. In here we go, here we go, our
4:57
rule #1 you're overthinking it. Confirmed by science and by good
5:01
vibes. If overthinking it fixes things,
5:04
I'd be done by now. Isn't.
5:08
That the truth. OK, so modern psychology
5:10
confirms that rumination increases anxiety and decreases
5:13
problem solving ability. This is reference to the Nolan
5:16
Hoksama study was done in 2000. Sure, that study.
5:20
Yeah, I didn't read that study, but I felt it while staring at
5:22
my phone and at midnight wondering why someone texted K.
5:26
Right. Just the letter K.
5:27
Just the letter K, the dad translation of cognitive
5:30
behavioral therapy. Not every thought deserves a
5:34
meeting. Most problems shrink when
5:36
exposed to daylight, and panic feels productive, but rarely is.
5:40
Yeah, I've worried myself sick over stuff that either never
5:42
happened or happened and didn't matter, right?
5:46
A frequently cited informal study known as Looking Back and
5:49
Realizing You Were Wrong study. That's a great study.
5:52
Can't be the official name is it suggests that 90% of worries
5:55
resolve themselves without intervention and the other 10%
5:58
resolve after a strong cup of coffee.
6:00
Right, that's exactly right. Most of my worries just kind of
6:03
get forgotten about. Is that why we have coffee every
6:05
week? Yeah, 'cause it's therapy.
6:07
I do walk out feeling better. I always do, Yeah, 'cause we
6:10
laugh, we joke. And then I get in the car and
6:12
sit in traffic for 45 minutes and get crabby.
6:14
And then you're crabby again and I just go home.
6:16
Must be rough. Dad rule is the 24 hour rule.
6:21
If it still bothers you tomorrow, address it.
6:24
If it doesn't, congratulations, you just won, right?
6:27
Exactly right. Overthinking psychologically
6:30
traps you in a cycle of rumination, severely increasing
6:34
anxiety, fueling depression, and causing emotional exhaustion.
6:37
It manifests as chronic worry and analysis paralysis.
6:42
Say that a few times. Often distorting reality by
6:44
focusing on worst case scenarios, which reduces
6:48
self-confidence and hinders effective decision making.
6:51
I do that. Yeah, yeah, a lot, yeah.
6:54
It's kind of hard not to though, right.
6:55
I mean, and I think I'm by no means am I picking on any one
6:59
particular person in general. You because you work hey,
7:01
because you work by yourself and you're home alone all the time.
7:03
Yeah, so there's. A lot of talking going on with
7:05
all my personalities and I. Go across the island, talk to my
7:08
Co worker Ryan all the time. Like we we banter back and forth
7:11
about the stupid things. Hi, Ryan.
7:12
Yeah. It it, it's work related, not
7:14
work related, it doesn't matter. But it's good to have somebody
7:16
just once in a while. That's your stupid crap.
7:18
Off. So what you're saying is I
7:19
should talk to you more during the day?
7:20
Oh heck yeah. OK, I'll be calling.
7:22
Maybe not during my spring season as we get through May
7:25
because it's a little busy, but after that, I'm I'm yours, man.
7:27
OK, got it. So that the rule is not to
7:30
overthink it. That's what we're saying, Right?
7:32
Right. OK, got it.
7:33
Good. Hey Brian, I was just outside
7:39
trying to enjoy the yard and the mosquitoes are driving me nuts.
7:42
Oh, you got to call Spring Green for that.
7:44
Rob Spring Green I thought they just did my fertilizer and weed
7:47
control. Oh, they do that, and our lawn
7:49
looks amazing because of it. But their mosquito control is a
7:52
game changer. We can actually use our patio.
7:55
You know how bad the state bird gets in Minnesota?
7:58
I'm pretty sure that's the loon, but point taken.
8:00
So they do lawns and mosquitoes. And total home pest control.
8:04
My house is completely mouse free.
8:05
They even do liquid aerations and lawn insect control.
8:08
Wow, I'm only. Using them for half of what I
8:10
could be. You should fix that.
8:12
Go to springdashgreen.com and get a personalized quote today.
8:15
That's spring dashgreen.com. And tell them.
8:18
Oh, and one more thing, Sanchea. All right rule #2 work is work,
8:24
life is life. Yeah, man, stop.
8:26
Blending them like a smoothie. Your boss won't remember that
8:29
e-mail. Your kids will remember you
8:31
weren't there, right? Research from the American
8:34
Psychological Association shows that constant work connectivity
8:37
increases burnout and decreases overall productivity.
8:41
So dad, wisdom here is no job posting says must sacrifice soul
8:46
promotions rarely go to the most stressed person, and the hustle
8:50
culture is invented by people selling real estate.
8:53
That the truth. So supporting evidence the data
8:56
addition a 2018 Harvard study showed diminishing returns after
9:00
50 hours of work per week. Psychological research also
9:04
consistently shows that work life balance, the WLB, is a key
9:08
determinant of mental health, job satisfaction, organizational
9:12
performance, with evidence indicating that it acts as a
9:15
crucial mediator between high stress, work family conflicts
9:19
and overall well-being. Effective work life balance
9:22
reduces burnout, anxiety and turnover while increasing
9:25
productivity. Oh yeah, that makes a total.
9:27
Sense, you know, we've all known those people and even being one
9:30
of us at one time that it was just like work, work, work,
9:32
work, work like you're striving to succeed and get yourself
9:35
promoted and get that next level and it just yes, it gets you
9:39
more money it gets you you think at the time happiness but.
9:42
Is it worth it? But is it?
9:43
Worth it, right? So I had a career way a long
9:46
time ago, worked for a wait, worked for a major retailer.
9:49
Was it target? It was, as a matter of fact, I
9:52
was there for years and I started out as cashier boy and
9:54
cart pusher boy and my last. Is that why you got an issue
9:57
with carts? Well, you're not in the right
9:59
place. The right place 'cause I had to
10:00
put them away. Yes.
10:03
Refer to Podcast 7. Yeah, I had a huge yes.
10:08
I, so I started out really at the bottom, been working my way
10:10
all the way top. I was running, running the
10:11
store. By the time I left Target, I had
10:13
400 plus people working for me. I had, you know, salaried
10:16
executives that I that worked for me, that I had to, you know,
10:18
deal with and, you know, discipline and all that kind of
10:21
stuff. But my kids were super young at
10:23
that time. They were two and five by the
10:24
time I left. And I got to the realization
10:26
that all these hours I'm working, all these nights, all
10:29
these weekends, I'm going to miss them growing up.
10:32
Right, exactly. I mean, you get to a point where
10:34
like, what's more important? So I left my huge high paying
10:37
job and started my own business. And.
10:40
Well, it's great now, but at the time it's so it was.
10:42
Hard in the beginning. It was hard.
10:44
It was really hard. Yeah.
10:45
It's really hard to start a business.
10:46
I mean, living paycheck to paycheck wasn't.
10:47
I mean, that wasn't even a joke. I mean, it was there were months
10:50
where I didn't pay myself 'cause I couldn't afford to pay the
10:52
rent, right? Or beyond that now.
10:54
But but I got to spend so much more time with my kids.
10:57
Yeah, and that that was the same kind of for my wife and I too.
11:00
And early, early on, when we both worked, we worked all the
11:04
time, you know, and once we started having kids, my wife, we
11:08
made the decision for her to stay home and so that I would
11:11
work more, you know, and that's not good either 'cause I never
11:15
was home. But I learned early on that that
11:18
separation was so important. So work was always away and then
11:24
I would leave it at respectable time and I was always home.
11:27
And then I was present when I was home because I did not think
11:30
about work. I would turn off those items so
11:32
you couldn't reach me. That was the expectation.
11:34
And that's what I I forced that into our life.
11:38
Now I work at home. I work in my business, you know,
11:42
but that same mentality has followed me all along.
11:46
Four o'clock 5:00, whichever the time is, I'm going to clock out.
11:49
I'm out. You know, that office now is
11:51
just a recreation room versus a workspace, you know, So there's
11:55
a definitely mind shift going on.
11:58
And I even struggled with that starting my business 'cause I
12:00
worked out of my house. I mean, I started, right.
12:01
I started with 0 customers and I did all the all the jobs myself
12:05
for the first few years. And I struggled with being that,
12:08
that corporate mentality for so long that, you know, I get a
12:11
phone call at 7:00 at night, I jump up and grab answer the
12:13
phone and say, Oh yeah, I'm here to help you new customer, 'cause
12:15
I'm a new business and I need all the.
12:17
But but that mentality is different.
12:19
You're trying to build a, a legacy, a a business, right?
12:23
So that is sort of important to grab that call.
12:25
It is. Important to a point where if
12:26
you're calling me at 7:00 right on a Wednesday night, it's lawn
12:30
care, dude, what's so important? I can't wait till tomorrow
12:32
morning, right? And that took me few years to
12:34
understand that and get to that point.
12:36
But you know your fear that you probably felt the time they'll
12:39
go somewhere else. Absolutely right.
12:41
Absolutely. So, yeah, that's a hard lesson
12:43
to learn, but a good one, right? Yeah.
12:45
All right, so rule #3 relationships survive on grace,
12:48
snacks, and strategic silence. Winning arguments is overrated.
12:53
Staying married is underrated relationship research from the
12:57
Gottman Institute emphasizes repair attempts mean a lot to
13:02
the relationship. The ratio of positive
13:05
interactions outweighs the ratio of negative interactions long
13:09
term. Relationships succeed not
13:11
because of passion, but because someone eventually agrees to let
13:14
things go. This should be 50. 50 It should
13:16
be. No one brings up past arguments
13:18
during a current argument. OK, that's hard sometimes.
13:23
Tone matters as much as the wording.
13:25
Oh boy, even more. 100% and I'm so I'm so guilty of that.
13:29
Oh, Oh yeah, I know. Timing matters more than being
13:32
right. Does it and.
13:35
And sometimes food helps. Oh yeah, because this guy gets
13:38
hangry. Yeah, it's all right.
13:40
Feed me all the time. Couples who argue while hungry
13:44
report worse outcomes. Really.
13:47
Come on, I just said I'd get hangry.
13:49
Dad Science recommends snacks before discussions.
13:52
Always. Doesn't snacks all the time.
13:55
Doesn't. It well, you know me, I like I
13:57
will have a snack constantly right?
13:59
But really, psychological studies indicate that the
14:01
healthiest relationships are not argument free.
14:04
No, but rather argue better but by focusing on conflict
14:08
resolution, understanding partner needs and fostering
14:11
intimacy. While chronic hostile fighting
14:14
harms mental and physical health, direct disagreements are
14:16
constructive and essential for long term satisfaction and
14:19
stress. Reduction.
14:20
OK, so it makes sense, but I've never heard argue better.
14:23
I've I've heard that exact phrase, but I've heard something
14:25
in that. Tone.
14:27
That tone. Yeah.
14:27
Speaking of tone, yeah, I've heard something that, yeah, like
14:31
it needs to be more constructive.
14:32
Your arguments need more constructive and have a point to
14:34
not just be throwing up Willy nilly garbage that means nothing
14:37
to anybody or being demeaning or petty for no reason whatsoever.
14:41
Right, right, right. But you always feel like in the
14:44
moment, you, you're justified in that and you should take a step
14:48
back, think, wait for 5 minutes, right?
14:52
Then discuss it. And really, in the moment, no
14:54
matter who's right or who's wrong, when you're heated,
14:56
you're right. All the time.
14:57
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether it's
14:59
rational or not. Right in the beholdment, you are
15:01
right and the other person's wrong and end of story.
15:03
And then listen to what I have. That's right, never works.
15:07
Out that does not work, never works out.
15:08
So rule #4 your body is no longer your teammate.
15:12
Life coaches say listen to your body.
15:15
Medical research confirms that muscle recovery slows with age.
15:20
Really crap. Sleep quality declines.
15:23
Oh no, and metabolism becomes more opinionated.
15:28
That's funny. It just just disappears.
15:32
So expanded health advice. Stretching is not optional
15:35
anymore. You should do this every day.
15:37
So I do need to stretch more. Hydration solves more problems
15:41
than expected. I'm drinking water right now.
15:43
And I've learned that the last couple years.
15:45
I, I think we've talked about this before on this podcast.
15:47
I have my here, I have my, here, my, my little 40 oz Stanley.
15:51
Yeah, I go through on a weekend, I buy 3/4 of those a day.
15:54
And like a week night, I'll drink one to two of these every
15:57
night from work. That's why you're getting up
15:59
early in the morning. No, which is crazy.
16:00
I don't have to pee in the middle of the night.
16:02
No. Yeah, I know.
16:04
Well, you are a lot younger than me.
16:05
I know a whole five years it's and if something hurts for no
16:09
reason, the reason is age crap, right?
16:14
So the CDC guidelines adults should engage in regular
16:18
physical activity. Again, crap.
16:22
Stay moderately physically active.
16:25
Aim for 150 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic activity per
16:28
week, about 30 minutes a day or for five days a week, plus
16:33
muscle strengthening activities Two or more days a week.
16:37
And moderate intensity means a brisk walk, cycling or swimming.
16:42
Now can we go back quick math in my head because math is hard. 7
16:45
episodes yeah to when nurse Nikki was on right.
16:48
We asked the exact same question.
16:49
Like, you know, what's, what's some advice for us older guys?
16:52
We need to kind of stay, stay in shape and lose weight.
16:53
And she pretty much said the exact same thing like.
16:56
Well, look at us. Right, like five days a week,
16:58
just go. Go for a 30 minute walk.
16:59
Just do something. Don't just sit sedentary all day
17:02
and do something. So I can't just sit at my desk
17:05
all day, then go sit while eat dinner, and then go sit and
17:08
watch TV? Oh.
17:09
That would be bad. So you're staying I should get
17:10
on my treadmill while I'm watching TV?
17:13
There you go. OK, I got to buy a treadmill or
17:15
it's. It's or it's me and it's nice
17:17
out now, so just go outside, pretend you have a dog.
17:19
Well, I was walking my daughters dogs until they went home.
17:22
I know. You should just keep them.
17:23
No. Uh, okay, no.
17:25
Pretend you have them. Just go on to the next one.
17:28
Rule #5 money is emotional, not mathematical.
17:31
Oh, hang on a second. I think math is.
17:33
Involved in the money, right? Money fights aren't about money,
17:37
they're about fear. Well, OK, I get that.
17:40
That I get. Yeah, that makes sense.
17:41
So behavioural economics backs this up.
17:44
Financial decisions are driven by loss aversion, status anxiety
17:48
and impulse control. OK, finance principles.
17:52
Budgeting is awareness, not punishment.
17:54
Emergencies are not emergencies. If they happen every year, plan
17:57
for them. And owning large ticket items
18:00
together can ruin friendships. Right.
18:02
So we are not going to buy that camper together.
18:07
Say you buy it and we use it. Well, I buy it and you can come
18:10
up with us. That's fine.
18:11
OK, so it's like you come on our boat, we can come on and hang
18:13
out with your camper, right? I think it's fair.
18:15
OK, Barter. Sure.
18:16
Yeah. The hedonic treadmill, or
18:18
hedonic adaptation, is a psychological theory explaining
18:21
that humans have a remarkable stable, baseline level of
18:25
happiness to which they return to regardless of major positive
18:29
or negative life events. Oh, that's Well, that's good.
18:32
I. Suppose that's good, yeah.
18:33
In the context of consumerism, it explains why the initial
18:37
thrill of new purchases such as a new car, a gadget, clothing,
18:41
sometimes fades away quickly, often leaving the consumer
18:44
wanting more to regain that fleeting sense of joy.
18:48
I still like my new truck I bought six years ago.
18:50
I still like my truck too, right?
18:52
One thing to consider, if you need a spreadsheet to justify
18:55
it, you don't need it. But needing want or two separate
18:59
things if you ask me. Right.
19:01
You should have a need call him, you should have a want call.
19:04
But how do you determine which one goes where?
19:07
Right I I need a car to get to work.
19:09
Yeah, you do, but you don't need that expensive truck to get to
19:13
work, which sucks. Gas well, yours and just be
19:15
quiet. Yours doesn't.
19:17
OK, move on. Mine's diesel's very fuel
19:20
efficient. I was just.
19:21
That's why I told you to be quiet.
19:24
He was a smart wanting purchase. All right, rule number six,
19:28
happiness is expectation management.
19:31
What? That's what it says.
19:32
OK, Positive psychology research shows that gratitude and
19:36
contentment correlate more strongly with happiness than
19:38
achievement. OK, Stop expecting every day to
19:41
be amazing, Brian. Why?
19:43
I think every day should be amazing.
19:44
What then? I mean, why wouldn't I want to
19:46
be here? Everything is awesome.
19:48
It's always Gil coming up roses. Some simple examples that can
19:52
bring everyday joy. Green lights.
19:54
Oh yeah. Don't you love coming up to a
19:58
green light and you're like bam, going through?
20:00
It's good. A quiet house.
20:02
No, my house is always. Quiet plans cancelled, guilt
20:05
free. That never happens.
20:08
I walk outside on the first day of spring.
20:10
See. Hi, Brian.
20:11
It's everywhere. It's everywhere.
20:12
I love spring. And listening to your favorite
20:15
music. Oh, I do that all day long,
20:16
every day I'm. Drinking broke.
20:19
So the dad happiness formula, low expectations plus occasional
20:22
wins, equals peace. Happiness is heavily influenced
20:27
by the gap between expectations and reality, with psychological
20:30
research suggesting that managing rather than maximizing
20:34
expectations is key to contentment.
20:36
OK. When experiences exceed
20:38
expectations, happiness increases, while unmet high
20:42
expectations lead to disappointment.
20:44
This concept helps combat the hedonic treadmill, where high
20:47
expectations quickly become the norm.
20:50
That's right. Don't expect too much, right?
20:52
Especially from me. Don't expect too much, Rob,
20:55
because then you'll never be disappointed in me.
20:57
Here here's. Here's here's here's a Here's a
21:01
mantra I've lived with my entire working life.
21:03
What is it, Rob? Under promise, over deliver.
21:06
OK, right. So if they think you're going to
21:08
hit a level 8, but you you actually know you're going to
21:10
hit a level 9 or 10. You're gonna.
21:12
Hold back. You're gonna hold back just a
21:14
little. Bit just a smidge.
21:16
So that everything comes up a little bit better, Let's.
21:18
Put it back into the retail. Since we've been talking about
21:21
that a little bit, this podcast, I'm gonna give you what I think
21:23
we're gonna our sales forecast for the day.
21:25
How much, how much are we gonna sell today?
21:26
Yeah, I think we're gonna sell. X amount we're gonna sell. 30
21:30
bags of Kitty litter when I know for a fact based on my based on
21:33
my history from last year, I'm gonna sell 45.
21:35
OK, so you what under promised and over delivered, is that what
21:40
it is? OK, that's cool.
21:42
Look. Like a hero.
21:43
Look like a hero anytime you can.
21:45
That's right. And finally, rule #7 everyone is
21:47
guessing. Yes, even them.
21:50
Imposter syndrome effects up to 70% of adults at some point.
21:54
Really. I can probably believe that the
21:58
truths confidence often means I've failed enough to stop
22:02
panicking. Nobody feels like an adult
22:05
consistently. Social media is the highlight
22:07
reel, not a syllabus. Social media is the death of
22:11
everything. It is not.
22:15
Yeah. So imposter syndrome is a
22:17
psychological experience of intense self doubt where high
22:21
achieving individuals feel like frauds despite evidence of
22:25
success. They attribute accomplishments
22:27
to luck, fear of being exposed, and often experience anxiety,
22:32
perfectionism, and burnout. It stems from factors like early
22:37
childhood pressures, systemic discrimination and competitive
22:41
environments. So, to avoid imposter syndrome,
22:44
consciously reframe negative thoughts, document your
22:47
achievements, and embrace your failures as a learning tool
22:50
rather than evidence of inadequacy.
22:52
Key psychological strategies include practicing self
22:54
compassion, sharing feelings with a trusted mentor, and
22:58
separating personal feelings from objective facts.
23:01
Rob, you're my trusted mentor. Aw.
23:03
You're mine too, Brian. So I don't think I provide as
23:07
much to this relationship as you do to me.
23:09
You do all the writing you you do a fantastic job.
23:12
I'm not talking about the podcast.
23:13
Yes, I am not an imposter at the podcast.
23:16
I do great. I am.
23:19
So the imposter, but you, but the one that the one that I do
23:21
really agree with. Embrace your failures.
23:23
To me, that one is huge because everybody messes up at some
23:26
point. And that's really hard to do.
23:28
To have enough wherewithal of yourself to say, you know what,
23:31
I messed up and own it. That's hard.
23:35
I mean, everybody messes up at some point and some people can
23:37
accept it and some people can't. It's the ones that can't that
23:39
honestly drive me nuts. Because it's okay, right?
23:42
It's OK. Because you learn from your
23:44
mistakes. And hopefully.
23:46
And you might make them again and again and again, and that's
23:48
OK, right? Well, once you get to that third
23:50
again, then it starts a question.
23:51
All right, so. Question the third attempt, got
23:54
it. OK, I'll keep.
23:55
That in mind, I'll give you the 1st.
23:56
OK, if I don't improve after the 1st 2, something's wrong, yes?
24:00
So was that advice or a life coaching moment?
24:02
I thought I, I think it was a little bit of both.
24:06
OK, you could look at it as advice, but really, if you dig
24:08
into it, it's life coaching. I'll go with that.
24:11
So we're going to end with our dad manifesto backed by
24:14
experience, not algorithms. Cool.
24:16
We're human, not AI. We are not optimizing our lives.
24:20
We are maintaining. Them.
24:21
Amen, brother. Our final advice, supported by
24:23
decades of anecdotal evidence and one very patient group of
24:27
spouses. Yes, they are.
24:28
Yes they are. Do your best.
24:30
Yep, apologize quickly. Yep, drink water.
24:34
All the time. Get plenty of sleep.
24:36
Oh, I try. And most importantly, if you're
24:38
trying, you're doing better than you think.
24:41
That's right. Hey everyone, as always, please
24:44
follow us on the socials at 011 more thing pod on Facebook and
24:47
Instagrams Instagram Instagrams Instagram for highlights and
24:51
news of our upcoming shows. And if you have any show ideas
24:55
for us or just want to give some feedback about Instagram, please
24:58
send us an e-mail at 011 More Thing pod@gmail.com.
25:01
We would absolutely love to hear from you.
25:03
Plus, I've heard we have merchandise, T-shirts and caps.
25:07
If you're interested, just shoot us an e-mail.
25:09
That's right. Oh, and one more thing.
25:11
In the end, maybe this wasn't life coaching.
25:14
Maybe it was just life filtered through experience, a little
25:17
science, and a lot of hard earned perspective.
25:21
Don't overthink what doesn't deserve your energy.
25:23
Protect your time like it matters, because it does.
25:26
Choose grace over winning. Stretch even when you don't want
25:29
to. Treat money like it's emotional
25:32
because it is. Lower your expectations just
25:35
enough to enjoy the good surprises, and remember that
25:39
everyone else is guessing too, and somewhere, somehow, life
25:43
keeps going. Good enough can turn out to be
25:45
pretty great. Preach, brother.
25:47
That's right. Till next time, bye.
25:50
See, everyone, I think we're pretty good at this life
25:52
coaching thing, yeah.