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Happy Hour #130: Car Troubles? · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Welcome to STUFFE never told you production buy Heart Radio,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: and today we are doing another happy hour.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: As always, if you are joining us, do whatever you're doing, responsibly,
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: drinking or otherwise.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: What are you sleeping on, Samantha.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: My diet soda. Keep it in mind. I drink water earlier,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: so I'm like, Okay, I feel like I did a
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: good job on the water. So I'm a drinker diet
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: soda today.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I had different episode. But I've been having strange
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: dreams lately. I told you about one of them earlier.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: I also had one that was just I couldn't stop
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: drinking water. The whole dream was about water. Stopped drinking water.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: It was very bizarreting I am drinking a summer shandy
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: a friend left up my apartment. Oh nice, I guess.
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: So hope. I hope it's good.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're usually pretty good. I used to drink those
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: way back when.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Uh So, this episode might be coming at you a
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: little late because we've had a couple of on my
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: own technical issues, which is kind of indicative of what
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: I wanted to talk about I said recently, I feel
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: like my life is in disarray. I feel like I
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: have a lot of things that I've let build up
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: that just all around me that I have not fixed
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: for one reason or the other. A big one is
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: my car. So Antha knows about this, and my car
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: has been dead for two weeks now. It does not start.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: I had someone come out to look at it. It seems
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: like it's just a battery issue. But I kind of
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: wanted to talk about it because I was thinking about
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: kind of the whole car troubles.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Joke, which for a long time has been like.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: A joke about men hitting on women when their car
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: is broken down, and I just got to thinking about
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: that and all the implications they're in. So I know
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I've told this story before, but when I was in
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: high school, there was an automotive class. Women were not
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: allowed in it unless there was a space after all
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: the men had off first.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I really wanted to do The choices were,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: and I'm not joking, the choices were automotive are Dance.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I wanted to do automotive No, it's comical and infuriating.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: I wanted to do automotive because I thought it would
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: be useful. I love dancing, but I thought like this
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: would be good to know. They would not let me in.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: They did let in one of the women from my class,
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: but I hate to say it felt like she was
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: really sexualized.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: In that class. Oh she would talk about it.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: So it was like a thing where I wanted to
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: learn and I didn't get the chance at that time.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: And then, you know, I just never had really an
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: opportunity or real strong desire to learn after that, Like
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: that would have been a nice is that of school
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: I had to attend right it was there. I never
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: did after that, and never did get the technology the expertise.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: That I wanted.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: And I will say, I want to say I have
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: always been scared around cars. There are some reasons for
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: that that I've talked about before, but also I'm just
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: afraid of like expensive things. The car is expensive. It
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: makes me nervous. And this is going to sound like
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: way worse than it actually was. But my dad used
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: to ask me to pump gas. So if I needed gas,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I'd call him and he would come and he would
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: pump the gas. And so it just made me feel
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm going to
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: mess up this very expensive piece of equipment. So I
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: just have like really deep seated I don't know how
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: to handle a car. I don't know what to do
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: about it. And that being said, I want to shout
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: out my friend Marissa who once this was before it
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: was like ruined and everything, but it was like the
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: final Harry Potter movie was coming out. My car wouldn't start,
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: and she was like, no, we have to get there
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: on time, and she got that car start.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: She knew what to do, she did everything.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: So in this I'm mostly talking about experiences I've had
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: where it feels like a lot of this car stuff
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: is still being pretty gate.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Kept by men.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: But I have plenty of examples of women in my
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: life that do know what they're doing are good at it,
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: So I just want to make that clear. Also on
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: the other side of that, I my ex, who was
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: a dude, once sheepishly admitted to me that he knew
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: nothing about cars when my car broke down. So it's
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: also like, I think, in a lot of ways a
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: lot of us don't know.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, true story.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I feel like I learned a lot about car stuff
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: because of so many things i'll let go wrong. Oh,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I know what this sound is, so I learned from
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: my bad.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: Do you feel like you could like do some basic.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: Like no, Like the basic is like I know how
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: to change it higher, but it's really hard, especially with
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: like the changing of the bolts. But I've made sure
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: that I did learn. But I'm like it's gonna take
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: me forever, like forever ever if I really do have
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: to try this, but I remembered how to do it. One,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to change the oil filter, but
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's an easy YouTube. But I know
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: what a sound of something is, Like, I'm like, that's
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: sound like a whalebearing. I think I need to go
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: do this. That sounds like the alignment is off, Like
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I need to go do this like stuff like that.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean my most recent problem when the
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: guy showed up because I did call a repair service
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: because again it won't start so I can't get it anywhere.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: I was like, I think it's bad because I recognize
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: this clicking. I have heard this before, and I have.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: The sad thing is I used to be pretty good
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: at like very basic, very basic, admittedly, but I used
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: to be pretty good at that stuff, and now I've
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: just become so afraid I'll mess I'll mess something up,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: and that's important because I never drive anymore, right, But
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: also just don't feel confident in it. There are a
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: couple of other things too. So one is, as Samantha knows, I,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: my car doesn't move from its spot very often, so
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: it's sort of like people know my car. It's there,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: and so I'm sort of I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed by it.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: But also there's like a guy that comes out in
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: my building to smoke, but he comes out and he
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: just hangs out, and I don't want to be out
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: there trying to do my thing, and he's looking at
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: me like mmmm. And then my landlord is like ever present,
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: and I don't want to get involved. But it's all
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: these like men in.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: My life that I'm like, I'm not in your life, yeah,
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: but they're like in my.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, like I would like to go ahead and
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: put an astrak here with the neighbor, because I have
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: actually avoided going to your door myself, who typically I
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: will like it doesn't bother me as much as it
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: bothers you. I don't want to hang out and be awkward.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have a conversation with people. But
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: he literally stands in a way that is oh so imposing,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: as well as smoking right on the steps, as well
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: as most sometimes being shortless and a little over like
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: he just hangs out there and like all of those
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: things are like, yeah, he's not gonna move out of
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: my way, Like he just purposely stands there staring people down.
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I have noticed that because when I would wait for you,
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, I'm down here, but your neighbor's there,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: so might want to wait for a second. I'm gonna
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: wait for a second. And then he just sits there
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: and stairs.
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm. He does.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Like he's a whole special conversation in itself.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: It's yeah, and it's unfortunate because it has like one
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: of the things I hate that I'm really having trouble
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: letting go from the pandemic is that I don't feel
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: super comfortable leaving my place all the time.
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: And part of it is what if he's there? What
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: if he's there and.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: I've literally like gone back upstairs, I see him out there,
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: and to be, he's never done anything to me.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: He's just like got a vibe that's not great.
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: So I don't want to be out trying to fix
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: something with my car that possibly I could fix if
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: he's going to be out there.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: So I call in.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: The service that comes to you, and it was a
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: guy and he was super nice. But then afterwards everyone
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: was like, well, it sounds like he was flirting with you,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: and now, oh no, because he knows I can't go anywhere.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: He knows that.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Two of my friends who when I was telling them,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: they were like, they were just asking, oh, come, and
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: they were like, it kind of sounds like do you
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: think he was And I said, no, I don't think so,
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: but I don't have the best track record with that,
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: and I don't know.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: I honestly have no idea. Uh, he will be here
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: getting soon, so see. But then I started thinking about
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: that because like.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of times that whole kind
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: of car trouble thing, that whole like women can't take
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: automotive class. We're going to get to that episode that
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: we've been talking about forever about the history of women
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: in driving. Does feel very like you can't go anywhere,
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: so I'll help you in this case, like very like
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: heteronormative man being like, I'll help you then, because it
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: is it does feel very i'll swoop in and rescue you,
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: whereas I think, I like, I used to be able
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: to fix a lot of these things, at least like
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: the smaller things, and it's frustrating to me that it's
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: gotten to a point where.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: I just gotta do. I feel like I have to.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Deal with this because I'm avoiding other dudes, but also
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: like I am scared I'll do damage to my car.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: I've talked about before. I actually passed out when my
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: parents bought a car because I saw how much it
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: was and I passed out, Like I have a lot
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: of anxiety around how much things cost, and it does
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: feel kind of like.
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: It's out of my control.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: So this also I just don't It's sad because I
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: also just don't like driving. I don't want to, but
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: I have to. That's sort of the society we live in.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: And I do want a working car, that's the hoddest.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: I do want one, but it's frustrating because I'm like,
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: but I want one. It feels like just for emergencies
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: and this, you know, we've talked before about like stereotypes
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: around women driving and men driving that was definitely present
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: in my last relationship. But this, I also feel is
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: changing because I've seen a lot of my friends doesn't
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: really feel like that's there anymore for them at all.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: But when I like when my ex and I were dating.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: He was always like, I will drive and he was
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: not a good driver or Samantha, he was actually pretty bad.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: I was a better driver than him. I feel confident
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: in saying.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, my partner and I share duties, make
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: sure because we split it. Because also I get carsick
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: really easily. So like the only times I don't really
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: get carsick is if A I'm asleep or B I'm driving,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: so I can't sit a whole ride like that.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I feel like you and several of my friends,
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: that's what I've seen is it feels like pretty equal
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: in terms of how they're driving. So I'm glad to
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: see that because I remember when the show first started
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: there was an episode about like why do men do
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: most of the driving?
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's still definitely a stereotype on TikTok about
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: a passenger princess. Yes, all over my for you page
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: on TikTok.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: It is definitely still a thing and I would love
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: to hear from listeners about it, because I always hesitate
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: talking about some of these older like stereotypes in terms of,
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: you know, how many times do we have to bring
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: this back?
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: But the thing is they do keep coming back.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: But I would like to hear from people's other experiences.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: There is something else that has been happening in recent
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: years where there's been a couple of examples of women
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: owned are women based automotive repair shops. There is there
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: was one in Atlanta. I think it's changed.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: It hasn't. They've made a big announcement to let you
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: know it is no longer owned by a woman, like
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: it has been a thing because they still kept the
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: logo and kept the first part of because the title
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: of it is literally like, my mechanic is a woman.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: And so when that when that stopped, they didn't take
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: away the name until they finally are like, hey, a
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: woman doesn't own this, just so you know, I'm not
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: the owner. So they had to do my mechanic is
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: and they left that.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: Yes, they just left it be, which was sad.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: But there have been a couple of examples of those
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: kinds of things, and it's one of those things where
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: I have I'm like two minds about. It's sort of
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: like the women only gyms where I get it, but
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I think we should address like a larger issue. But
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: I do totally get it. Like again, I've laid out
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: several examples of where men have made me uncomfortable around cars,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: so I I do understand. But it's also sort of like,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: if this is what we're doing, we might want to
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: ask why why that is? And you know, unfortunately, the
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: car repair business is just notorious. The car business in
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: general is notorious for flying to people or upselling people,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: or not being upfront with people. I know it's not everybody,
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: but that when you go into a situation and you
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: feel like, oh, I don't know enough about this and
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: I feel like this person's probably trying to cheat me,
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: it's like not a great situation. And I think that's
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: compounded with women because I think the view is still
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: women don't know what they're doing with cars, but clearly,
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: for a long time we've been prevented from knowing. Even
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: if the class you wanted to take in high school
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: was automotive.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: And a story. Yes, so those are my car troubles.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: And car troubles yeah, I just I was gonna I
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: titled it that because that's what like the joke always is,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: as the guy comes up and he's like car troubles.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: But if anyone has any thoughts about this, or if
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: you have any examples of these women based automotive repair shops,
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: your experience there, or just yeah, generally, what's the trope
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: the vibe of gender stereotypes around driving right now?
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: Please let us know.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: You can email us as Stepanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff When
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Never Told You on YouTube, and we have a tea
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: public store, and we have a book you can get
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: wherever you get your books. Thanks as always too our
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: super producer Christina, to producer My and our contributor Joey,
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: thank you, and thanks to you for listening. Steffan Never
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Told You is production of Ihart Radio. For more podcasts
• 16:06
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• 16:09
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