Latest / Shut Up and Ride / “Is it a Horse or Is it a Dolphin?”

Transcript

“Is it a Horse or Is it a Dolphin?” · Shut Up and Ride

• 0:09
  Speaker A: Welcome to the Shut Up A Ride podcast, sponsored by the Wonderful. I had a call with them this week, actually. Charles, Owen, Ben's dancing, Simon's smiling, his hair is crazy. I'm very angry. I've got a lot of what's annoyed me this week. I need to vent. We might have to.
• 0:24
  Speaker B: She's got a lot to offload.
• 0:26
  Speaker A: I've got a lot to offload. I even on my call with Charles Owen had such. They started the call and I just had a massive rant. So hopefully after. They're still the sponsors of this podcast. They're wonderful. They're like my guiding lights as well as sponsors of the podcast. But exciting news. You've already heard. Simon is with us. We got Benji back. He's great. He's had his annual clip as well, by the looks of things.
• 0:50
  Speaker C: Yeah, I have. And me and Wild have got matching haircuts now. I took Wild for his first haircut. I was very impressed. He was a very good boy. I trained him to have his hair cut the same way I do the horses. I rubbed his head with an electric toothbrush.
• 1:05
  Speaker A: Oh, yes, I was.
• 1:06
  Speaker C: Until he was. Until he didn't mind the vibrations.
• 1:10
  Speaker A: Never done it on a child.
• 1:12
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 1:12
  Speaker C: And then he sat perfectly well. All the children I know have the worst time having their hair cut when they're little. Like my sisters had. Hell, my mates have. And Wild has got the cleanest. Like, even his, like, little lines around his ears.
• 1:27
  Speaker B: Oh, my God.
• 1:27
  Speaker C: That's really cool. Yeah. But I'm good. I'm sorry I've been away.
• 1:31
  Speaker B: Do you have it done at the barbers?
• 1:32
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 1:33
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's so true.
• 1:35
  Speaker C: Which is very fun. Very funny.
• 1:37
  Speaker B: Is your barber really chatty or does he just do it?
• 1:40
  Speaker C: It depends. Depends which one I get. Some of them are really chatty. Sometimes I'm like, I come to this barber's because it's really quick, but we're 35 minutes in and I care about
• 1:50
  Speaker B: your divorce, but I've got stuff to do. Whereas I find it really awkward with the. This is a bit of a gay issue, but I think for quite a lot of us. But, like, I go and get my hair cut and the guy's like, so, what team do you support? And I'm like, I don't really do ball games. Well, I do, but not those ball games.
• 2:14
  Speaker C: Well, to avoid awkward conversation, Simon's going into the barbers wearing a pride flag as a cape. Like, come on, leave me me.
• 2:23
  Speaker B: Don't ask me awkward questions.
• 2:25
  Speaker C: No, I this. But you say that Maybe it's. That's me in touch with my. With my gay side, my ally side. I can't. I hate it when I'm chatting to someone's like, if we meet up with a couple and George will go and talk to the woman, and then I'm left with some husband who's like, oh, oh, are you into football? And you're like, oh. And they're like, oh, you don't wish I was, but I'm not. Who do you think's going to win the F1? And I'm like,
• 2:53
  Speaker A: yeah, I have the complete opposite. We go out and Greg is better at talking about Disney and I'm better at talking about cricket and I get stuck with the women and I'm like. And I've said fuck four times. And they literally just walk away slowly and they want to talk about their kids.
• 3:07
  Speaker B: And I have to say, back away from the jelly. Back away from the jelly.
• 3:10
  Speaker A: So did you see the England game at the weekend? Aren't England shit at rugby right now? I'm sorry, can we talk about breastfeeding? No, but when you go to the barber, right, because Gregor went to a Turkish barber when we lived in England, in Malmsbury, and he came back like he'd been assaulted. He was like. But they didn't warn him. And they suddenly set fire to his ears.
• 3:32
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 3:36
  Speaker A: And, like, no warning, nothing. A flame came out and his ears and his nose hair was up like lightning. And I was like, what the hell? He actually got assaulted. They didn't even tell him, asking what his favorite football team is before they set fire to him. What the hell's that about?
• 3:49
  Speaker B: I have to get fire to his nose hair.
• 3:51
  Speaker A: I think they started pulling stuff out of that as well, like. Or trimming it or something.
• 3:55
  Speaker B: Yeah, well, because they did. They do that sometimes. One of the little sticky things, there's one in Uppingham, they stick a stick up your nose with wax in it
• 4:04
  Speaker A: and then take it out, but no warning. Just manhandled him, like, yeah, brilliant. He was genuinely, like, a traumatized afterwards.
• 4:13
  Speaker C: For me, that's a sign that I'm getting old. So, like, I've always had to have my eyebrows trimmed because I have big, bushy eyebrows. But the last few times I've been to the barbers, in the past year, they've started trimming my nose, my. Inside my nose and inside my ears.
• 4:29
  Speaker B: And I'm like, oh, I have that. It definitely makes you feel old.
• 4:33
  Speaker C: Passing of time, that.
• 4:36
  Speaker A: Do you. Do you find, though, when you're getting Introduced to people that aren't like in the horse world. Or you meet new people and you say, what do you do? Oh, I work with horses. Because I know both of. Neither of you would big up how good and amazing you actually are. And even if you did, people who don't know this industry wouldn't have a clue what you jump. Jumped. Well done. Herbivores jumping sticks. But they immediately go, oh, I've got a friend who rides horses, you should meet them. Or they start telling you a story about the one time they rode and they broke something or hurt themselves and you have to listen to some God awful long story about the one time they went on a beach on holiday and this horse was wild and you're
• 5:14
  Speaker B: like, they always bolt, which is probably just trotting off.
• 5:18
  Speaker A: Yeah. Or they say, oh, you must meet so and so and you go to a party and you get introduced to someone who rode about four times when they were little and therefore you think they've got something in common. Oh, I absolutely hate it. Sorry.
• 5:30
  Speaker C: I tell people I work on a farm with my dad.
• 5:33
  Speaker A: Oh, do you? Interesting.
• 5:35
  Speaker C: Work on a farm with my dad. No one wants to talk about that because then I don't have to sit and God bless you, if you've been one of these people, then I don't have to sit near someone who bought an X racer when they shouldn't have done at a wedding for four hours talking about it. Nor do I have to let loose the fact that we do horses for film and TV and then have to be asked, what do you do?
• 5:55
  Speaker A: Have you done Peaky Blinders?
• 5:56
  Speaker C: Yes, we've done horses on Peaky Blinders.
• 5:58
  Speaker A: What's Cillian like?
• 5:59
  Speaker C: Small and Irish like that. You know, it's the. Yeah. So you just, it's, it's easier. I had, I had a friend who was an actor and they used to hate it when they got called out for being an actor because they're actually quite famous. And when. So when they were at events, they used to say, I work in finance, because that made people sort of leave them alone. But then once they sort of met a new group of people and said, oh, yeah, I work in finance. And everyone else in the group was like, oh, Roger, you'll get on with so and so really well, like you always want to talk about that. We'll leave you to it. And this actually, the other guy actually worked in finance. And then they got stuck in a conversation where they had to come clean because they were like, I'm really sorry, I Can't
• 6:43
  Speaker A: I, Can I. Can I do a confession? I probably shouldn't. I went to a wedding once when I was pregnant with Delilah and I was quite pregnant and very angry because when you're pregnant at a wedding you can't drink and there's free booze on offer. So I was pretty angry. And outside the church, I think I was smashing in some Haribo. And this. I'm sure she was very sweet, but I was very hormonal and very angry. Came over this lovely girl, she was like, hi, Jenny. And I was like, one of those moments where you're like, I don't know if I know who you are or if you know who I am if I met you and I'm really rude and I've forgotten. She was like, oh, I, I'm. I very long time ago, did a bit of work experience and, and it was during weg or something. She was like, and I'm. And I'm sitting next to you, I'm in the, in the dinner so we can talk all things weg and horses and everything. And I was just like, no. So before, when we got to the reception, before anyone went in, I found our table and swapped the places round so I was no longer sat next to her and she was on the other end of the table.
• 7:45
  Speaker C: Oh, Jenny, that is bad.
• 7:49
  Speaker A: I can't. I'm not good at talking to people I don't know. When I'm sober, I'm like, it's bad enough when I'm drunk. And I was like, I just cannot bear the thought of talking about horses all like. Because it's your job. You don't want to talk about horses all the time. I know. Isn't that bad?
• 8:04
  Speaker B: That is. That is fairly bad. Yeah.
• 8:06
  Speaker A: That is fairly bad. Should I.
• 8:07
  Speaker B: But I do agree with you. I do agree with you. I don't like talking about horses all the time. I really like meeting people that aren't horsey and talking about other stuff. Like, that's why I've really enjoyed my acting class course thing. Did I tell you I've applied to a new one? I did, didn't I?
• 8:22
  Speaker A: No, you didn't. Yeah.
• 8:24
  Speaker B: I've applied to another one because we finished and, and Robin, who ran it, he was like, oh, I've actually, we're doing another course which is. It's a performance course and so it's another seven week course. But at the end of the seven weeks we do a performance and we're allowed to invite our friends and family
• 8:40
  Speaker A: that, can we come when Is the performance and can we film it?
• 8:44
  Speaker B: It will be in June. It'll be in June.
• 8:45
  Speaker A: Oh, okay. I won't be able to come, but can I send my mum and she can film it?
• 8:51
  Speaker B: Yes, but why not? I mean, I know James won't come.
• 8:54
  Speaker A: Oh my God, my mum would bloody love to come. She messaged me, she rang me the other day. She's like, you've got to stop slagging off Simon's social media. Like, what? She's like, I feel like I'm part of his team. When he says, hi, team, I. I'm in that team. And I messaged her saying, mum, can you do me a favor and buy Horse and Hound? I know you don't. She doesn't. Would normally never, ever, ever get Horse and Hound because Simon's in it and I'd really like to keep a copy so I can read it when I come back in May. Can you go and get me a copy? She's like, I've already bought it. I wanted to read about him. So she will happily. She will happily come and be your fan club in your friends and family. She would love it.
• 9:31
  Speaker B: I haven't told my mum. Actually. I would tell her. I'm sure she'll come along, but.
• 9:35
  Speaker A: So what do you have to perform? This is so exciting.
• 9:38
  Speaker B: I'm not really sure. We were studying Billy Liah.
• 9:41
  Speaker A: Oh.
• 9:43
  Speaker B: And whether we'll be doing something with that, I don't know. But we're also. Because we're the beginner group, but there's an intermediate group and we're collabing.
• 9:51
  Speaker A: Oh, it's amazing. What's the difference between an intermediate and a beginner actor?
• 9:55
  Speaker B: I've got no idea. I just thought I better go for beginner because I've not done it for
• 9:59
  Speaker A: so long, that is. And. Oh. Oh, I really want to see this. This is so exciting. Are you good at learning lines?
• 10:06
  Speaker B: I never was, but I imagine I'll be better now.
• 10:09
  Speaker C: I did.
• 10:09
  Speaker B: I learned my. I learned my poem. Cause we had to perform our poem. I learned that. And I. And although I. I did fluff my lines. I told you. I'm sorry. I'm going off on the same thing again. But I don't know. I've told you, Ben. But I had to learn this poem and then perform it. But you had to imagine like. Cause it was a kid's poem. So you had to imagine that you were performing it to like four or five year old children or five or six year old children. And I was going through it and I was doing it in all my different accents and I. Which I don't know why I did that. I just last minute decided to do it because initially I was just going to do two but I liked it loads in the end which was stupid and I confused myself and then I kind of fluffed one of the lines and I was like, oh fuck. And then in my report afterwards he wrote swearing in front of five and six year old children. Not ideal.
• 10:54
  Speaker C: Not ideal. Great for the parents though.
• 10:57
  Speaker A: Did you say I've been hanging out with Jenny too much and she swears in front of her kids.
• 11:01
  Speaker B: I thought I was perfectly normal. Yeah, you don't care.
• 11:03
  Speaker A: I was reading to James and Delilah. It's fine. That's so cool. And you passed. Did you get a grade for your course? Did you?
• 11:10
  Speaker B: No, I just. I just. I got a certificate.
• 11:12
  Speaker A: Did you?
• 11:13
  Speaker B: We all, we all got certificates which is really nice. There were a couple of people that didn't make. Because you had to get. You have to go to every one bar one. Like you could miss one. But who was it? There was. Imran didn't make it because he didn't come back.
• 11:29
  Speaker A: Oh, this is amazing.
• 11:31
  Speaker B: But yeah it was, it was, it was really fun. I highly recommend doing something like that. It's like it was, it was. I mean it was very lucky. Robin is actually quite a really talented bloke. Like, like all his sessions were really well tailored and like he developed everything really gradually but in a really good way. It was great.
• 11:50
  Speaker A: It was really cool.
• 11:50
  Speaker C: Do you, do you ever find yourself kind of disassociating a bit to watch it almost third person when you're doing an experience like that you're having a lesson especially in something non horse related and then you almost stop listening to the lesson. Cause you're trying to learn how that person's teaching. Like because you teach.
• 12:10
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I find it really interesting how. How he did it. Whether I'd be able to apply it to how I do it, I'm not sure.
• 12:19
  Speaker C: But.
• 12:21
  Speaker B: But yeah he. And, and also like the language that he uses is so inclusive which I think obviously you have to be in college or in higher education now and. And he was very careful with what he said and how he said stuff to people and you know, like. Because it's obviously very easy to offend people now.
• 12:37
  Speaker A: Oh my God. Yeah. So effect. But I find that really interesting Ben, because I had a ski lesson the other day. I finally bit the bullet and was like I need to actually have a lessons because I'm learning off Instagram videos, and I'm not enjoying it. And it really wound me up. And I don't know if it wound me up because obviously we all teach, so we know how. I know how I teach. I never. Assumptions are the mother of all fuckups, aren't they? And he kept saying things like, you need to find your edges. I'm like, I have no idea what an edge is. And he kept saying this line down the slope followed this. I was like, I have no idea. So I was that really annoying person at the front going, I'm sorry, what's an edge? I'm sorry, what's this? I'm sorry, what's this? And everyone in the group then kind of nodded, going, yeah, we had no idea either. But I feel like that is quite a skill, isn't it, as an instructor, to be able to. You don't make that assumption that what you're like, you just spill off lines and it sounds fancy, but I never thought, like, in acting is that the same. Like, they can explain something, and you're like, I have no idea what you're saying.
• 13:33
  Speaker B: I mean, he was very clear. And we, like, we studied a little bit of, like, the Stanislavski method of acting and that kind of stuff.
• 13:42
  Speaker C: Like, not in Kwaiti, not in Kwai dc.
• 13:44
  Speaker A: It was very grown up.
• 13:45
  Speaker B: It was very grown up.
• 13:46
  Speaker A: Do you think it'll help your presenting?
• 13:49
  Speaker B: Well, that's one of the reasons why I did it. I thought it's something different to do, but also it might help me with presenting stuff.
• 13:57
  Speaker C: I mean, it just kind of had
• 13:59
  Speaker B: me up in front of people. And also when we did. The first time, we did a little performance, we had to do some improvisation. And I was like, oh, God, I'm gonna look really stupid. And I was like, why are you even remotely bothered? Like, who cares?
• 14:16
  Speaker C: It's why you're here.
• 14:17
  Speaker B: Yeah, it really doesn't matter. Like, all these people doing the same thing as you, they're probably feeling exact same thing, same as you. In fact, probably worse because, like, I've done lots of presenting stuff, so I've been up in front of people. And so I was like. And no one knows who you are, so it really doesn't matter. So let's just. Let's just calm down.
• 14:33
  Speaker C: Really good. To me, one of the most important things, like, when I've been like, I don't have time at the moment, but I used to have a lot of weightlifting and gymnastics lessons, and they're always in, like, a group. And to feel like that. To feel that nervousness and that self consciousness. So that next time I'm teaching a clinic and I've got 10 people there, you kind of can go back into your brain and be like, how's the felt when you were in that class? That's how they're feeling. So they're only working at 70% brain capacity because they're crapping themselves.
• 15:09
  Speaker B: Yeah, it was I. Because. So I don't know, there must have been probably altogether about 13 or 14 people that did it. And some of them didn't come on some of the days, whatever. And there was one bit to do with the Stanislavski method. Like, Robin got us all to tell a story. I don't know if I've already gone over this. Sorry if I have.
• 15:29
  Speaker A: No, you haven't. Stop apologising.
• 15:32
  Speaker B: Robyn told us to tell a story which was something that we're really, really proud of, that's happened to us in the last year. So, of course I talked about my Burleigh experience, which I didn't really know what else to talk about. I did think about Montblanc, then it was not horsey, but then I thought that was not actually this year anyway. And you had to tell the story. And then. So we all told these stories and then the aim was that then we would then pick someone's story to tell as if it was our own story.
• 15:57
  Speaker A: Oh, that's cool.
• 15:58
  Speaker B: So, like, it's a really good way of. Like, that's kind of his way of doing it. But what was really, I found really amazing was, like, some of the stories were, like, really amazing and really cool and. And how some people. Like, there are certain things that people found that they'd really achieved something by doing it. Like. Like Calvin, you know, that I was telling you about, that was like, I wasn't born when you were doing your acting 25 years ago. He. He was telling this story about how he's so pro. Decided about a year ago that he needed to lose a load of weight and he'd lost six stone in bloody hell right that year. Like, that's just unbelievable. And then there was this other girl who was really sweet and always seemed very nervous, but kind of got in there and she. And she was like, oh, I'm really proud that I went to. I was a witness at my brother's wedding in front of all the congregation. I had to get up and sign. And I suffer really badly from anxiety and it was the most scariest thing I've ever done. And I managed to do it. And I was so proud of it.
• 17:01
  Speaker A: I just think that's really cool.
• 17:02
  Speaker C: It was just really.
• 17:03
  Speaker B: I felt really lucky to, like, listen to their stories and, like, stuff that was really important to them. So I thought was really cool.
• 17:09
  Speaker A: It's really good. Oh, you've made me look like a right twat now, haven't you? There's me not wanting to listen to someone at a wedding and moving their table plan. There's you. Oh, I love hearing people's stories.
• 17:20
  Speaker C: Yeah, it was really nice.
• 17:22
  Speaker B: It was really nice. And, and. And there was this other girl, Jasmine, who. She was like, oh, I've always wanted to, like, be a performer and, and present stuff. And. And she said, but I've always gone for the academic thing because that's what you're supposed to do. And actually I've now decided that I'm just going to do whatever I think I should do. And. And she just got a gig presenting something for an old company and, you know, so she was really excited about that, which is really cool. She. She was quite funny because we. We exchanged, like, social media stuff, like, so we can stay in contact, and she's like, oh, no, I looked you up last week on Instagram. And she said something. I don't even know what it was, but something like really young personish, like, you're really smashing it. But it wasn't that. Like, it was a really funky word. And I was like, oh, my God, I feel really down with the kids.
• 18:13
  Speaker A: Was it like, oh, my God, Simon, you're sick. That's what my son.
• 18:17
  Speaker B: Yes, it was exactly that. But, like, it wasn't sick, it was something else and I need to find out what it was.
• 18:21
  Speaker A: But, yeah, yeah, my son used that term the other day. He's like, mummy, watch this. It's sick. I was like, oh, good God, this is awful.
• 18:28
  Speaker B: It's. Oh, my God, it starts awful.
• 18:33
  Speaker A: Oh, no, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I'm glad you're enjoying it enough to do another one as well, because I think it's.
• 18:38
  Speaker C: Yeah, no, I think it's.
• 18:39
  Speaker B: I think. I think I'd highly recommend anybody to do something like that because it just takes you out of your comfort zone a little bit, gets you doing something completely different. And I've met some really lovely people doing it who I would never in a million years have met otherwise.
• 18:53
  Speaker A: Aw. How are you, Benji? Would you do an acting course?
• 18:58
  Speaker B: Yeah. You did really good at that time,
• 18:59
  Speaker C: I think, as a kid, didn't I? So I, like, I love all of that I love. The theatre people are a different vibe, aren't they? They're crazier than we are.
• 19:10
  Speaker A: But were these people theatre people? Were these people wanting to be theatre people or did they have the theatre vibe?
• 19:16
  Speaker B: I think a mixture. I think the majority were wanting to be a theatre people. Oh, and sorry, back to me. But Robin, who ran it, he got his daughter in, who's called Ava, on the third week. I think it was to kind of help. Cause it was her half term and she's studying acting at college. I can't remember which one it is, but I think it's quite a good one. And honestly, it was so lovely. He was so proud of her.
• 19:48
  Speaker A: And.
• 19:49
  Speaker C: And she was.
• 19:49
  Speaker B: And she was really good and, like, really invested in everybody and like, she did a really great job. It's always so lovely when you see like that when, you know, parents are like, almost the same with you guys. Like when you see a parent that's so proud of their kid and what they're doing and what they're achieving, I just. It was so nice. It was so nice.
• 20:05
  Speaker A: I get that happy if one ties a shoelace without asking me for help, to be completely honest. Wipes their own ass every single time. Mummy, can you wipe my bum? No, you're severed. Wipe your own bum. For the love of God. Wipe your own bum. I am so over wiping bums. Everyone's like, you'll miss this stage. Will I fuck. I do not want to wipe asses anymore. Everything poos on me in my life. I'm over it.
• 20:34
  Speaker B: Oh, no, Jenny, that is not good.
• 20:39
  Speaker A: And do you know what the worst thing is as well? When James is like, asking me for help with something, I'm like, I was in boarding school at your age. Do it yourself. Oh, I'm really angry this week. Sorry, guys.
• 20:50
  Speaker C: Were you a full.
• 20:50
  Speaker B: Were you a full boarder?
• 20:52
  Speaker A: Yeah, from the age of 8, 7, 8. Yeah.
• 20:55
  Speaker C: That explains a lot.
• 20:56
  Speaker A: Yeah, Yeah, I know. That's hardcore. That was hardcore. Well, my dad was in the army, so they paid for it. Well, majority of it. So I went to a really shit one so they didn't have to pay very much more. And yeah, it was horrible. I hated it.
• 21:11
  Speaker B: I went at 13 and I thought that was bad enough. Eight years old, I would have really struggled.
• 21:15
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah. And you know what? Then they. When you first arrive, I'll never forget this, you first arrive, they say to your parents, don't ring them for the first 11 days in case it makes them cry. And there was no payphone. Or anything. Back then there was a phone that your parents could call which sat in a laundry cupboard and you had to stand in the laundry cupboard and hope that. And you just hope that someone heard it and answered it. And then if they, someone would answer it and go, oh, it's someone's parents. And then you'd hear a big shout around the house and if you didn't hear the parents calling that your parents were on the phone, they just say, oh, we can't find them and hang up. So it's a real lottery whether you got to speak to your parents and you got to go home every four weeks.
• 21:52
  Speaker B: When I, when I went to boarding school I had, we did have a phone and I had a phone card and I would ring my mother every morning after breakfast without failing because I was a proper mommy's boy. But then gradually as I started to become more confident and happier with the whole situation and everything was fine, I graduated, those phone calls started to drop off and I reckon my mum was like, oh, I'm very sad about that. I'd be, I'd be like, oh, I quite liked hearing from him every morning and now he's, now he doesn't need me anymore.
• 22:21
  Speaker C: Little shit.
• 22:22
  Speaker A: Oh, I've met your mother. I think she'd be quite happy to know that you were doing well and fine and very happy to have my mornings back. Yeah, I do love your mum. I also, I, in my second year I was allowed to take Elvis Pigsley, my guinea pig, with me and that made me a lot happier. And I remember one year it was really cold and they were in like a shed outside and I was like, it's too cold for them. So I used to put a hot water bottle in for him and he used to sit like he was on a waterbed. He loved it. And so I made the whole of our boarding house do a sit down protest and refuse to go to breakfast until the animals were allowed to come into from the pet shed. And it worked.
• 22:58
  Speaker B: And did it work?
• 22:59
  Speaker A: Yeah, they left. So in the hallway they had little cages. Yeah. So I was quite proud of that. It's my only really a proud achievement of my childhood and my report. So I just had my kids report in it. It made me think about it. My kids reports are amazing. They're such better humans than me. And my report used to say every year if Jenny spent as much time on her academics as she does on Elvis the pampered pig, she would do very well in life. That was my memory of school. Yeah, there we Go. Anyway, sorry, how did we get onto boarding schools? Yes. Wiping asses, proud of children. It's a long road. Ben's just staring at the screen like he's watching some kind of alternative reality.
• 23:35
  Speaker C: No, I just can't imagine boarding school would have been hell. I thought school was hell. Having to be there nine till three, never mind.
• 23:43
  Speaker B: Oh, to be fair, yes, I agree with you. But there were some really cool bits about it as well, I think when you're older. I remember sneaking out in the middle of the night, meeting friends and going out and getting absolutely hammered, like in the middle of the night and, you know, doing things we really shouldn't have been doing. And yeah, it was good fun and, like, we were really lucky. It was this beautiful stately home and we'd sneak up onto the roof of this really old building and, like, drink and smoke and do all kinds of things. Shouldn't have done.
• 24:17
  Speaker C: Yeah, that's fun.
• 24:19
  Speaker B: It was. It was fun.
• 24:20
  Speaker C: It was fun.
• 24:20
  Speaker A: Side of it, if you could ever smell Link's aftershave, you knew we'd all been smoking and I was in girls school.
• 24:30
  Speaker C: Well, I am Safari. I am very proud at the moment because Wild not only has fallen more in love with horses, he now has learned sort of in his mind how to make them go, even though he's only just over one. But because he rides with me a lot in front. So if I'm walking around with him, we don't trot. I walk and canter with him because the trot jiggles him around. Too much.
• 24:56
  Speaker B: Yeah, too much.
• 24:57
  Speaker C: And if he wants to canter, he wiggles his little hips backwards and forwards and goes. And he knows that click and more movement means horse moves faster. And it is my favorite thing. And like the other day, I was long reining a youngster out and George was following me in the pram and every single time I clicked at the youngster, he. I could hear him behind me. Every time I gave a little. He just copied me straight away. He just loves.
• 25:27
  Speaker B: So cool.
• 25:27
  Speaker C: He screams, screams whenever he sees one. He has to go and see, like, go and sit on them and so that he's a mini.
• 25:34
  Speaker B: He's a mini Benjamin.
• 25:36
  Speaker C: Yeah. That is wonderful at the moment. Just really, really enjoying how much he's enjoying horses, enjoying the life. Thank goodness. Because.
• 25:44
  Speaker A: Can you, though, do me a favor? When he starts toddling, just put a hat on him when he's walking around. I saw an awful episode of 24 Hours in Turkey.
• 25:51
  Speaker C: Can I just quickly. Can I quickly before we get onto This
• 25:56
  Speaker A: I.
• 25:58
  Speaker C: Whenever I go to the tack show, I take him with me because then that means George is free to do more stuff. Every time I have gone since his birth, I have asked them to fit a hat to his head and every time they tell me they don't make them that small because the weight of the riding hat, if a child is that small will damage their neck. So I am trying. Yeah, I never thought about it, but they were like, they just makes sense. There's a minimum size of child and yeah, we've all. The moment he can have a hat, then obviously I will wear a hat at home all the time and people
• 26:34
  Speaker A: will wear a hat job. We're sponsored by a hat company. We need. And our next episode, Jade and Dave are coming on so you can quiz them on what is the appropriate age for a hat.
• 26:45
  Speaker C: I kicked off about this because I said, can I have a hat for my baby? They said, we don't make hats that small. I said, I highly doubt that Hannah's sausage dogs have got a smaller head than my child, whereas my child's thinking the same thing.
• 26:56
  Speaker A: I'm not sure how does sausage dog's helmets have been passed any health and safety regulations?
• 27:01
  Speaker C: Yeah. Carry on. So 24 hours in AE.
• 27:04
  Speaker A: Oh, yes. And there was a. You know when you can watch a million things of the same show and nothing like one episode sticks with you? And it was a two year old, he'd been kicked in the head by a horse and it was just tottering around the yard and I watched that and so did Gregor and our kids aren't even allowed out the car without a hat on. Being around the horses because the horse wasn't even going for. It was just kicking a fly and it was just like. It really resonated with me and I literally. I can close my eyes, I can still see that episode and it's just like, I'll worry, I'll worry, I'll worry, I'll worry about Wild. I'm like, when I see him in your arms on a pony, I don't worry about that because actually him actually sliding off the side of a pony is going to do less damage than a horse kicking him in the head.
• 27:46
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:46
  Speaker C: If me and Wild are riding together, I'm at more danger of injury from falling off at the moment.
• 27:52
  Speaker A: Yes, you tuck and roll then Wild is. I just see videos of little kids toddlering around yards and giving ponies kisses on noses and things like that and it's just like, ugh. It just terrifies me. It's just my own personal thing. I just. I've seen too many. I've seen too much bad, I think. So I always have to resonate.
• 28:08
  Speaker C: What I find very funny is that my dad was bold as brass with me and my sister. But it's quite windy with wild. I find that quite. Yeah. Like, my dad will see things going on and then he, like. He's like, oh, you sure it's safe? And I'm like, yeah, of course it is. Of course it's fine. But he prefers horses to ponies as well, which has become a thing. He prefers riding. Yeah. I've got three ponies under ten hands. And he prefers riding horses, which I think it's the stride length. It's comfier, isn't it?
• 28:47
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. Gotta be quick.
• 28:50
  Speaker C: Boom. Yeah.
• 28:53
  Speaker A: The boys are now wobbling their heads around for anyone not what. If you want to see what they're doing, watch it on YouTube. It's all about YouTube.
• 28:58
  Speaker C: It is. I am loving the chaos of it. Like, we had three of them down the other day and they're all dinky. And we've got this little bog pony that's like, looks like he belongs in a mine somewhere. And we had all three of the toddlers. Well, two toddlers and wild. All sat on him at the same time. One in the saddle, one in front, one behind, walking down the road. And I was just like, yeah, this is it. This is like, that's the dream. Isn't it just.
• 29:24
  Speaker A: I know. Well, this is the thing, kids and having fun. I need. I need for Delilah. I don't care if they can't even ride it properly. Do you know what I mean? Just a little pony for them to sit on and play with. If anyone's got a pony that they want to retire with me. And it just wants to do lead reins up in Squamish. Send it my way. We've got quite a lot of listeners in Canada. We're getting quite a lot of people asking, when are we coming to Canadia to record? Which would be fun because we could.
• 29:50
  Speaker B: But, Ben, wouldn't you go into Canada for something?
• 29:52
  Speaker C: Yeah. They don't back out.
• 29:55
  Speaker A: They don't want his handsome face.
• 29:57
  Speaker C: Hey, it's a not yet, not a no, so that's okay.
• 30:01
  Speaker B: Okay, not a no. Okay, that's cool. So I feel like I just. I'm really sorry, Jen. I just need to quickly nip. I'll be back. One sec.
• 30:09
  Speaker A: That's all right. We'll keep talking. We don't need you we don't need your actor. So, Benjamin.
• 30:16
  Speaker C: Yes.
• 30:16
  Speaker A: I sent you a video the other day that a few people have sent us.
• 30:19
  Speaker C: Hey.
• 30:20
  Speaker A: And it's this guy talking about. And you were like, I don't even want to give this video the time of day. Um, but I was like, well, we should, because lots of people talking about it, and it's a guy filming his horses and they're in a stable and they've got turnout paddocks attached to their stable. About the fact that horses don't want to be outside. Now, can you. You're so much more eloquent than me. Can you explain this video and why it's a load of bullshit and. Because. But. And you were like, well, this video is obvious to me.
• 30:52
  Speaker C: Okay, okay, okay, okay. So if we were going to do a human equivalent of the video, if you had a primary school where you have the children in the classroom and then had your little tarmac concrete playground.
• 31:09
  Speaker A: Oh, yes.
• 31:09
  Speaker C: And then during play, during recess or break or playtime, whatever you want to call it, the children have the option to play inside or play outside, saying that because they preferred to stay inside and play with the toys than be on the concrete car park. Or. You get what I'm saying?
• 31:27
  Speaker A: Concrete pen, I think is better that
• 31:30
  Speaker C: children don't enjoy nature. It's just not a fair comparison. I also don't. And this is something that boils my gears and maybe I'm a little bit. A little bit strong on this because I'm privileged enough, lucky enough to be able to do things the way I do. I can't stand it when I see a horse in a paddock that's the size of a stable or the size of two stables, and people say, oh, it's turnout. You're like, nah, not really.
• 31:59
  Speaker B: Oh, is this that video that you sent us, Jenny?
• 32:02
  Speaker A: Yeah. So basically for context, the video is this guy has several boxes all in a row, and they're lovely big boxes. And then he's got like an extra added turnout pen off every single box.
• 32:14
  Speaker C: It's a stable with the back wall taken out with little concrete turnout pad the same size of the stable out the back.
• 32:22
  Speaker A: And he's filming it at different points in the day. And he's saying how some horses choose to be outside, but some horses choose to be inside. And he says his argument is that horses don't need turnout. Because look at this horse. He's got the option of turnout, but he chooses to be inside.
• 32:38
  Speaker B: I just thought it was the most rubbish. Rubbish kind of test because why would a horse. A horse, if it has the option of being out in a really nice field full of grass, it's going to be out there eating.
• 32:51
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's what they're meant to be doing. Grazing. They didn't have grazing.
• 32:54
  Speaker B: It's not going to be standing in a stable on concrete. It's not. And it's not particularly going to want to stand outside on a concrete slab, which is basically what that was. And that's a rubbish experiment, personally.
• 33:03
  Speaker C: Yeah. And you have to, you have to give horses at least one of the three Fs. The three Fs when it comes to horse happiness, freedom, forage and friends.
• 33:15
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 33:16
  Speaker C: A tiny concrete pad doesn't have any of those.
• 33:19
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 33:19
  Speaker C: No, because they were on their own as well. So maybe like if you've got an all weather turnout, if you're lucky enough to have something like that, or you know, a wood chip turnout, but you have, you know, a few horses in there together and it's a big space. Well, at least they've got freedom and friends.
• 33:36
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 33:36
  Speaker C: They haven't got the grass. Like they'll have hay, but it's. Yeah, it's just not a fair comparison. And also where horses choose to spend their time doesn't show you how happy they are. Like I would say you would have to, if you wanted to study something like that. It would be, you know, judging the interactions with the horse as well as their behavior and if they improved or dis. Improved from being in or out. Out. But it's such a. I don't, I don't. Do we really have to argue that horses like to go in fields with other horses? Surely we agree on that. Come the fuck on.
• 34:13
  Speaker A: Well, that's the thing, right. I sent you both this video and you both replied with this. It's obvious this is stupid. But the thing for me is that people in the comments, not obviously lots of people were saying what we were saying, which is don't be ridiculous, but a lot of people and he obviously believe that this is true. So that's why I was like, we still need to discuss it because
• 34:32
  Speaker B: do
• 34:32
  Speaker C: you think he thought it was true or do you think he's getting reaction? He's told it's shit all the time and so he went online to get affirmation that it wasn't shit.
• 34:44
  Speaker B: Yeah, probably.
• 34:46
  Speaker A: But the thing for me is you see people getting horses who don't have the knowledge and experience, which is fine as long as you're willing to learn. And so, yeah, it's just Terrifying how many people will watch that and go, oh, okay, they don't need a big field. Do you know what I mean?
• 34:59
  Speaker C: Because as the counter argument to this fun little bit of news, I have been made the president of a charity.
• 35:09
  Speaker B: Wow. Congratulations.
• 35:11
  Speaker C: Yeah, I am now the.
• 35:12
  Speaker A: Is it the Disney charity for people who love song and dance?
• 35:16
  Speaker C: Yeah. I am the president of Here for Horses, which are an amazing charity. I've done events with them in the past with Warwick Schiller and with Becky Moody. They are a phenomenal charity. They help horses all over the uk. They, you know, they even take horses in and, and sort them out and then get them back out in the world. They're fantastic. And I was talking to them the other day about some plans we have coming up and they were saying to me, Wendy, who sort of. It's really funny because I'm the president, but Wendy's in charge. Wendy runs it, but she was saying, I wish people would drop this ridiculous idea that horses need 24, 7, 365 turnout. Because that's only true if it's appropriate. She's, you know, a horse that's in a field that looks like an a scene from Dunkirk or the Battle of the Somme with not a blade of grass in cannon, bone deep mud in the rain, miserable. No, that's not better than being in a stable. Even if it's in a stable 24 hours a day, stable is preferable to that. Horses getting mud fever and rain scald the hair rotting off their legs from the wet. Horses are made to push on the ground, they're not made to pull their legs out of the ground. And so even the action of when they have to constantly pull themselves out of heavy going is that works against the basic mechanics of how a horse is meant to move. And so it isn't as black and white as if you keep your horse in a field, you are a good human. If you keep your horse in a stable, you are a bad human. It's a balance, I've always said with my horses. I genuinely think they are happiest as 50, 50 horses. My horses love being out during the day and they like to come in to a hard feed and a comfy bed and a dry warm place on a night. And to me that makes perfect sense even from a natural standpoint. Because what prey animal in the wild, if you could speak to them, given the choice, if you said, okay, you can be out in nature, ad lib, grass, fresh water and shade during the day, but on a night, we'll Put you in a safe little place. No predator can get you, nothing can scare you. You'll have a comfy bed, it'll be dry, clean water, clean food. And then back in the field tomorrow on new grass. Of course they're going to take that. And so it's. It's saying that there is a balance. There are people that keep horses inside constantly without adequate exercise and without adequate care. And that is wrong. And there are people that leave horses in field constantly that aren't fit for purpose. That aren't fit for purpose. And there are. And then also you have issues either side. You know, you keep a horse in a stable constantly, you can get weaving, cribbing, wind sucking. You keep a horse in the field all the time. And inappropriate field doesn't just mean wet ground and horrible. It can also mean grass too good for the horse. Ems laminitis. So there's a balance of care either way. It's not that simple.
• 38:34
  Speaker A: Basically what you're saying, it's really fucking hard to keep horses happy. And if you can't afford it, you haven't got enough space, you haven't got the provisions. Don't own a fucking horse.
• 38:43
  Speaker C: Yeah, which.
• 38:44
  Speaker A: Oh, can you tell I'm really angry today.
• 38:46
  Speaker C: Can I bring up a contra. I think we've talked about this before, but I had this conversation the other day. I find it really hard when people talk about making horse riding more accessible because I agree horses are blooming expensive and I wish everybody could enjoy them, but there's a certain level of financial stability needed to be able to keep a horse.
• 39:12
  Speaker A: Yeah. And you owe it to the horses to have that. It's the same with any animal, though. I don't think that just applies to horses. And I only rant about this because in Canada you have to pay your vet bill before you leave before they do the treatment. Sorry, not before you leave. So when I left Maverick for his operation, I had to pay ten to. I had to pay twelve grand because the operation may have cost ten to twelve grand up front. Worst case scenario, amount for his whole stay, everything that was for, however.
• 39:43
  Speaker B: And then you get a refund.
• 39:44
  Speaker A: And then you get a refund for however much you didn't spend. Because so few people ensure their animals in Canada that they don't pay their bills or don't cover it. And they basically go, oh, I can't afford it. And it's like, well, take your dog home or have it put to sleep. So I just don't think it's. It's horses. I Think it's any animal. If you financially can't do right by that animal, then you shouldn't own an animal. Even a goldfish, if you can't give them a decent tank. Don't have a goldfish. Yeah, it really. It's. Yeah, I think that that is. And then horses, obviously, the most expensive of all. That was my rant. Sorry. You're both looking at me like she is.
• 40:25
  Speaker C: No, I agree. I agree. I'm thinking, oof. That's a lot of money on a dog.
• 40:33
  Speaker A: 12 grand.
• 40:34
  Speaker B: Yeah, that is a lot of money on a dog.
• 40:36
  Speaker A: I know, but it's Maverick.
• 40:40
  Speaker C: George and I were having that conversation about our dogs. I'd be pulling up the cutest puppies online and being like, look, look at this. This is 2000.
• 40:52
  Speaker A: Well, what was hilarious was I rang Gregor. So I rang Gregor and we'd already spanked out about six grand at this point. Don't forget, this is Canadian, so nearly half it.
• 41:02
  Speaker C: You paid nearly 20 grand on the dog?
• 41:05
  Speaker A: No, it didn't come to that much when it came back. But anyway, so it's Canadian as well, so half that. Please, Half it. And your dog got hit by a car. Yeah, so 10. But anyway, by this point, we'd paid quite a lot. We were already up about. Yeah, a lot. And. And I rang Gregor and I said, look, they need to do this operation. This is how much it's going to cost. They've told me between 10 and 12 grand. And, yeah, and he's got to go in for surgery, blah, blah, blah. So talked him through it and he was like, okay, okay, darling. Right, what are we gonna do? I was like, I'm sorry, what do you mean, what are we going to do? I've already paid it. He's already in, he's under. He's being knocked out as we speak. I wasn't asking for your opinion. I was just telling you. He was like, oh, don't make me
• 41:48
  Speaker C: divorce you and take you to the cleaners for your money to pay for this. Gregor, I will pay for the dog.
• 41:54
  Speaker A: I've already put it on a credit card. The dog is being paid for out of my own money. Don't worry, husband. But, yeah, I wasn't asking for your opinion. This wasn't a conversation. It's Maverick.
• 42:04
  Speaker C: I was informing you.
• 42:05
  Speaker A: Yeah, I was informing you, but luckily my dog is insured, so up to $10,000. So it was all. And then because.
• 42:13
  Speaker B: Happy days.
• 42:14
  Speaker A: Happy days. And because there was no complications and he was out in a couple of days, it actually only came the 12 grand dropped down to seven. So I. I felt like I was rich. I had a nice reburn rebate, but I. The reason I get insurance and I pay a lot for my insurance is because I know in that scenario, I don't have 12 grand to fix my dock.
• 42:32
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 42:33
  Speaker A: So I knew. I pay a hundred dollars a month for his insurance, which. 50 quid a month. But for me, I got that back in spades this year. And I know full well I cannot afford to fix my dog, so I insure him. But, yeah, it wasn't a conversation with Gregor that was just so funny. It was just like, yeah, okay, we'll have a think. You must be feeling really sad and worried. No, I'm fine. I've paid it. Yeah. And Matt is still here.
• 42:57
  Speaker C: Animals.
• 42:58
  Speaker A: Oh, my God. I'd do anything. The kids, questionable. But the dogs, yes.
• 43:03
  Speaker B: Oh, she's so full of shit.
• 43:10
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
• 43:12
  Speaker B: How is Gregor?
• 43:14
  Speaker A: How is Gregor? He's all right. He's all right. He's good. He is. He's just been working away. He rang and he does that thing where he's just. He's in the pub after work. He was in Ontario and he rang and I was like, you're right. And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, how many beers have you had? And he was like, I just had the one. I was like, no, no, you haven't. No, you haven't. And he's like, okay, three, which means five. My husband's inability to count is hilarious. When he's drunk, he always thinks three doesn't sound too bad. So I immediately know it's five. And I know at what point he starts slurring his words, which is anything above 3. Why is it that men cannot own up to how much they've drunk?
• 43:56
  Speaker C: I was just gonna say. Do you not remember? I remember when we were, like, kids, teenagers growing up, the saying was, add three to whatever. If when it comes to asking a guy how many drinks he's had, add three to whatever he says. When it comes to asking a guy how many people he slept with, minus three from whatever, he.
• 44:18
  Speaker A: Simon's laughing heartily because he knows it's true.
• 44:21
  Speaker B: That's funny. Yeah, it's funny because it is true. That's hilarious. I've not heard that one before.
• 44:28
  Speaker C: I don't know if it is true. I'm hearing about all your wild times at boarding school. Simon, I think we need to have a drunken conversation.
• 44:39
  Speaker B: Some of the stuff I got up to at boarding school. Goodness me.
• 44:43
  Speaker C: But anyway, the reason we can't. Jenny, the reason we can't own up, right, it's because we live in fear because we're gonna get told off for having too many beers. So it's for everyone's sake.
• 44:57
  Speaker B: I mean, I do at times I do feel quite sorry for Gregor with that kind of stuff. Because my golly, I bet he gets it proper. Gets it in the neck every so often.
• 45:04
  Speaker A: Cause he's a monumental twat when he's drunk.
• 45:07
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, there you go.
• 45:09
  Speaker C: That is fair enough. That is fair enough.
• 45:13
  Speaker A: It was like the time where we went to my friend Kate, Matt and Kate's Tarance 40th. And I had a brand new trailer that I'd saved up for so I could ferry Finn around. And we. And I'd taken Finn down because Matt and Kate have a yard. So I'd taken it down and probably shouldn't share this about my husband, but fuck him, shouldn't do it. And we were meant to stay in a tent, but we got too drunk and we couldn't be bothered to put the tent up. And it was a rare night off from our kids. My brother. My brother had them and so we were like, oh, I've made up a bed in my trailer. And Gregor turned up several hours later, kicked me out of my own bed and made me sleep in the car and then proceeded to vomit and pee in my brand new trainer. So he is a bloody nightmare when he's drunk.
• 45:53
  Speaker B: Oh, my. He is, isn't he? God, he is.
• 45:56
  Speaker C: Well, do you know, attorney for the defense, I think it's better.
• 46:03
  Speaker B: I've done that before.
• 46:05
  Speaker C: I've done that before. But they're better to throw vomit and urinate in a trailer that can be power washed than in a tent.
• 46:16
  Speaker A: In a tent, yes.
• 46:17
  Speaker C: Come on. This is true.
• 46:18
  Speaker A: This is true.
• 46:19
  Speaker C: Surely.
• 46:20
  Speaker B: I mean, either's fairly bad.
• 46:22
  Speaker A: It is. Oh, God, he's gonna kill me. But then as we were leaving Matt and Kate's the next day, all I heard was Kate shouting behind Savegregor. Because I was in such a bad
• 46:33
  Speaker C: mood as a young teenager, I did sneak a bottle of rum from my mum and dad and was. Was young enough that when I was like, what's a good mixer? Chocolate milk. I love chocolate milk. So I mixed chocolate milk and rum.
• 46:51
  Speaker A: Oh, God.
• 46:52
  Speaker C: Wow. Was squirrel in that away at a show when dad was doing show Hunters and then proceeded to paint the entire living with projectile vomit throughout the evening.
• 47:04
  Speaker A: Was it like a fecal Jackson Pollock?
• 47:08
  Speaker C: Yeah. My. My mum and dad were not impressed
• 47:13
  Speaker A: yeah, I'm no angel, I tell you. I give Gregor a hard time, but I tell you, I've. I've redecorated many a bathroom, so. But at least I managed to make it to a bathroom on most occasions. How do your parents take it, though? Are they like, ha, ha. Or they tell you off, like. I can't. I can't picture what Mark would be like.
• 47:32
  Speaker C: My mum is. I can remember it clearly. My mum is like, call an ambulance. My son, my boy, he is sick. And my dad is very much. Boys will be boys. We told him not to. He has. He will be fine. Everyone. Everyone has to do this at some point. Thank goodness he's done it around his mum and dad and not in some grotty house party in Skegness somewhere.
• 48:05
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, that was my mum's attitude when it came to, like, drinking. Like, she offered me drink when I was really young. She's like, I'd far rather that you drink. Drink with me than don't know how to do it and then get yourself in trouble. So, like. But. So there's a lot to be said for that. But I was quite young, I have to say.
• 48:24
  Speaker C: You say, yeah, and you say that I only had one friend growing up in our friends group who was never allowed to drink, and his parents were the strictest, most teetotal. Duh. I also only have one friend who's been to rehab.
• 48:37
  Speaker B: Oh, that was him.
• 48:39
  Speaker C: And that was him.
• 48:40
  Speaker A: They do say that, don't they? Because when I went to uni, I'd already been, like, living on my own and had been quite wild in my youth. And we got to uni and a couple of my friends who'd never been away from their parents had never drunk. They. They were nuts. It was like, oh, okay. It was like. Like, come out of Pandora's Box type thing. It was like, Jesus Christ. They were proper wild where. And those were the ones he'd had to kind of ferry home in a shopping trolley just to get them into bed and keep an eye on them all night. Like, didn't know their limits, as it were. But then saying that Gregor and I at New Year, we. Because we don't know anyone to go to New Year without here. So we. The kids are in bed, and we used Delilah's karaoke machine and stayed up drinking and sending our friends in England videos of us singing. And the next day, I was offering up to the porcelain God. I was like, I am 45. I am too old for this.
• 49:32
  Speaker B: This is not okay.
• 49:34
  Speaker A: This is Not. I am questioning my life and my judgment. Oh, it was awful. No, sorry, that wasn't this year. It was the year before. But it was one of the best nights we'd had. Just me and him singing to each other with a bright pink karaoke machine. It's great fun.
• 49:48
  Speaker C: We went out at Christmas and the piece de resistance for me was we were staying in a hotel. Cause we were out in London and watching George, still in a beautiful dress, hair done, makeup on, eat a curry with her hands sat on the hotel room floor. And I was like, yeah, this is it. The piece de resistance. The icing on the cake of the evening.
• 50:12
  Speaker A: Yeah, this is why Greg Oedi's drunk, though. Is one of those people. All my friends love him until he gets to a point where. Where we're. Things are coming out of both directions. He's one of those people that is like great on the dance floor and he will grab anyone, a granny, an old man. He will swirl them and dance with them and spin them in and out and like, he's that person. Do you know what I mean? Oh, look, there's a baby. Look who it is.
• 50:39
  Speaker C: Look at my little fat human.
• 50:41
  Speaker A: Hi, little fat humans. Don't say that about Simon.
• 50:44
  Speaker C: Look.
• 50:45
  Speaker A: Look at him with his matching little haircut.
• 50:48
  Speaker B: Oh, that's. Well, he's got so much hair.
• 50:54
  Speaker A: Oh, look at those cheeks. Oh, hi. You can hear him.
• 50:59
  Speaker C: Can you hear your clicking? No.
• 51:05
  Speaker A: Yeah. Simon, are you a chanderer when you drink?
• 51:09
  Speaker B: Well, I was think, thinking, actually I remember when I was. I think I was 18 or 19 and I had. I was riding a horse for this, for somebody. It was the first time I was kind of ridden for somebody. And she had like a. She had a tax shop business and it was quite successful one actually. And she had quite a lot of people that worked for her and they had like a Christmas dinner thing and I went and it was in Suffolk and I went and stayed with her and like we went out and I drank quite a lot of red wine and they all. I was quite a lot younger than everybody else and they were all trying to like really egging me on. And I remember that she had two small kids, I think they were like four or five. And the next morning I remember waking up feeling like absolute dogshit. And these kids, they like. I had lots of fun with the kids and they came running up in the morning, they jumped on my bed and they'd. Morning, they're like, oh. And there was like vomit all down the side of the bed and Then I was like, oh, oh, I don't know what that is. And then they were like, oh, ok. Then they jumped off the bed, ran downstairs and all I could hear was Mummy siren.
• 52:07
  Speaker A: Spade. Sick.
• 52:11
  Speaker B: It was so embarrassing.
• 52:13
  Speaker C: I slept.
• 52:16
  Speaker A: Can I just add a caveat? Please? Drink responsibly, anyone listening to this episode.
• 52:21
  Speaker B: It's not cool.
• 52:21
  Speaker A: We're not big and we're not clever.
• 52:24
  Speaker B: Don't be led astray.
• 52:25
  Speaker A: Basically, don't be like us. Learn from our terrible mistakes. So I have a question that I've been wanting to ask you for ages, Simon, and it's not vomit or drink related and it is actually horse related, but I keep forgetting to ask you it. So am I right in thinking to just take this turn back to horses in British dressage, you can now use your voice in a British dressage test, Am I correct?
• 52:50
  Speaker B: I don't know.
• 52:51
  Speaker A: But people are up in arms. Because I don't think you're still allowed to in British eventing tests.
• 52:58
  Speaker B: Oh, I don't know. Sorry, I need to look that up. Ah, I. I don't know. Don't know. I don't think you can use your voice in British inventing dressage tests.
• 53:07
  Speaker A: No, you can't. They haven't changed the rule, but British dressage have. I'm sure of it. Let me just look. What do you think of that rule? Do you think you should be allowed to use your voice in a dressage test?
• 53:20
  Speaker B: I absolutely think you should be able to use your voice personally.
• 53:24
  Speaker C: What's the logic behind not?
• 53:28
  Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. What is the logic behind not, Jenny?
• 53:31
  Speaker A: I don't know. It must be just an extra aid, isn't it? So. Moves to allow voice aids in dressage competition are made after rider feedback have been welcomed as a positive step by competitors. You will be allowed a discreet use of vocal aids, including tongue clicking during test. BRC has also ruled that nose bands will no longer be compulsory in dressage. British Riding Club, that isn't it?
• 53:59
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 54:00
  Speaker B: Because I got in trouble. I got in trouble once for saying, whoa, I think, in dressage test.
• 54:04
  Speaker A: Oh, did you? What was that when your horse was pissing off and galloping across Piggy Mart's arena?
• 54:10
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I was definitely doing that that time. Don't tell you about that, Ben. I was in the middle of the. Well, I wasn't in the middle of it, actually. I started this. I was doing an intermediate little down of horse trials and my dressage arena was kind of like the furthest one. I think there were, like. I don't Know, six. Six or seven arenas going at the same time. I was the furthest one. So I went down and I went up the center line, hold the salute, turned left. Then you had to do leg yield across. And the little mare I was on was a right feisty little. What's it like? She was fairly crazy. And I was like, let's do leg yield. She's like, I don't want to do that. And I was like, yeah, you do. She said, no, I don't. And she literally just launched out of the arena, like. Like just rearing and bucking and just launched her way out of my arena. I was like, oh, shit. And then she went straight through the arena next door strai. And then people were doing the dressage tests.
• 54:55
  Speaker A: No.
• 54:55
  Speaker B: And all the way down to the collecting ring. And then I was like, right, we are bloody going and doing this dressage test. So then I went back and I started. And then I started where I left off. And then I finished the dressage test and then I saluted. And then the judge got out. She's like, you do realize you are eliminated, don't you? And I was like, yes, yes. I needed to finish. And then the following week in the Horse and Hound, there was like a report on the event and it was like, oh, Piggy March. Oh, Piggy French she was. Then Piggy March won her section at Little Danimore or whatever dress I was. Despite Simon Greave and Mini me launching through their dressage arena. I was like, you didn't have to name me.
• 55:33
  Speaker C: You got properly named.
• 55:35
  Speaker B: In shame. I actually got properly named.
• 55:37
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 55:38
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 55:38
  Speaker C: So no matter how badly your test goes next time, like you listening to this. Yeah. You probably won't be named and shamed in Horse and Hound. Yeah. For how badly you and your horse went.
• 55:52
  Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. She was so naughty, but very funny. Hugely talented.
• 55:56
  Speaker C: It is a miracle that you carried on, Simon. The things happened like that and you were.
• 56:02
  Speaker B: I am finishing.
• 56:03
  Speaker C: I still enjoy. Well, I just mean I still enjoy this. This is what I want to do with my life.
• 56:12
  Speaker A: Right. So on 11 March, British Eventing posted this. Why isn't the use of voice allowed in dressage phase? As in previous years, the use of the rider's voice is prohibited in dressage at British eventing competition if it occurs Simon Greave two marks will be deducted from the score that would have been awarded for each movement with which it happens. With multiple dressage arenas running at the same time and in some classes, proximity, we want to ensure that one Competitor's performance isn't negatively impacted by excessive use of a voice in a neighbouring arena. We are aware that British dressage have updated their rules for 2026, and to avoid confusion, we want to be clear that British eventing rules remain unchanged for now. We will monitor this closely throughout the season and continue to liaise with British dressage on how the rule is working in practice. But yet someone doing their cross country round 100 meters away, doesn't. They don't mind about that putting off your dressage test.
• 57:09
  Speaker B: No, they don't.
• 57:11
  Speaker A: That used to drive me mad when the cross country had started and all my horse can hear is whistles and I've got to try and do a salute. Psych. That's not happening.
• 57:20
  Speaker B: Well, I was doing a dressage test at Pop park and the cross country started literally as I was warming up and I was trotting around. And as I came around, the first horse came galloping through the woods toward that because they went straight past the collecting room for the dressage and I was like, that is typical. Of course it would happen right now and I'm right here. It's always the way, innit?
• 57:45
  Speaker A: But it says you're not allowed to do it even in British eventing at championship levels. And there's a whole list of other things where you're not still not allowed to do it. So it's not, I reckon, just a bit odd, isn't it? Like, I don't think you're gonna put on that someone that much in an Xdoor arena.
• 58:03
  Speaker B: Well, I don't know. I don't know. Interesting. There is a point with that, to be fair. You do get some people that do a lot of talking.
• 58:13
  Speaker C: Yeah. And it can, like, I. We can cause havoc for each other, to play devil's advocate, because I think it should be allowed. But if George and I and some of our riders are all schooling in the arena at the same time, and especially can get confusing for those who. I'll start clicking at one and then George's horse will stop and go into PF and she's like, stop it. Or I'll whistle one to come, like, back to a walk. And George will be building up to a really nice line of changes. And then her horse drops into a walk and she's like, will you just clear off, go and ride somewhere else.
• 58:52
  Speaker B: I remember being in the collecting ring of like, just to clear round jumping with a really young horse. And there were a few of us in there and there was this a girl that I never remained Nameless, but who was trotting around in there as well. And there was somebody on a horse that was obviously a little bit backward or whatever and they just kept on clicking all the time. And eventually this. This friend of mine who was on something that was really quite sharp and obviously, obviously quite tricky, she just turned to this person, was like, will you stop clicking? And she said. And then she came out. I was like. And I was like. And obviously they stopped and. And like we came out and I was like, do you know that person? She's like, no. But they were just really, really pissing me off because I'm gonna get mullered soon because she just won't stop clicking.
• 59:37
  Speaker A: I think some people don't even know they're doing it, do they?
• 59:40
  Speaker B: No, I don't think, to be fair to them, I don't think they knew. But it was definitely a Jenny type situation.
• 59:45
  Speaker C: When I'm teaching people, sometimes I'll say, angry, is it a horse or a dolphin? No, it's not a dolphin. Stop trying to speak to it.
• 59:54
  Speaker A: Oh, that's the title of this podcast. Is it a horse or a dolphin? What's that flicker?
• 1:00:01
  Speaker C: Someone stuck in the old to harbour.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker B: This is not Free Willy.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker A: Oh, do you know Free Willy was filmed outside my house?
• 1:00:12
  Speaker C: Was it?
• 1:00:13
  Speaker A: Yeah, where I live. Yeah, it was filmed here also. That's one of my pet peeves. My equestrian.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker B: Free Willy.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker C: Free Willy. Free Willy.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker A: That's not my pet peeve. Bit of fun. Bit of fun. Oh, it's good, isn't it? No. When you go into a stable or someone's asking a horse to go back and they're clicking and they go in a stable and go, yeah, no, no, that's forward, not back.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker B: So another. Another thing that gets me with that that was similar is. Type of thing is like, I don't know whether you've ever had it before. You're in a show and a horse is like panicking in the back and everyone kind of goes over with that kind of situation and someone will go in there and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker A: whoa,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker B: mate, that's not gonna actually help at all.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker C: We have it. We're back in loads of youngsters at the moment at home. And we were backing one the other day in the round pen. First time someone was on it and the dog was in the paddock next to it, like going at one of the cats, it was in a tree and I could see someone about to scream at the dog. Because the horses aren't bothered about the dog. Cause they live with him. But I was like, don't shout at the dog. Because I was thinking, you're gonna blow at the dog and this poor little four year old's gonna ping poor Jody into orbit into the air. But it's. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. Or the. Yeah.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker B: Whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, mate, it's like, that's gonna scare it even more.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker C: Steady, steady, steady. I think maybe you need to go in some acting classes. They.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker B: When people say a horse won't stand still and they say stand up. I'm like, well, it's not lying down as well.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker A: Like the other day I was commentating how out of character I was commentating and a rider had a stop, which was completely the rider's fault. He turned too tight into a very big parallel at the top of the arena. And I was saying my commentary was awesome. Lovely commentary. And the horse stopped and he walloped it. And you could see twice on one side and once on the other. And I think that's three is allowed or whatever. But it was the way that he was doing it. And I was like, that was totally your fault. Like, totally your fault. Like you're hitting it because you turned it in too tight and the horse didn't read the question. But this rider has been like top level sport. And you're kind of like, if that, if you're doing that, what's hope for the rest of us?
• 1:02:53
  Speaker C: Do you ever feel like when you're on the commentary and that's happening and
• 1:02:57
  Speaker A: being like, that was unnecessary.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker C: Good of you to show us all that you have a micro penis. But will you please now leave the arena?
• 1:03:04
  Speaker A: Yeah, well, what I do is I just went silent because normally if someone makes a mistake or something happens or if it's a pat, the. I've often said, oh, that was a pat the horse kick the rider moment. Because if it's a rider, I know and I know they won't say it and I'll say, yeah, the rider just needed to give the horse more time. But if it's a rider who's ridden at the Olympics or something like that, it's not for me to say how well they are riding. I have not ridden to that level. I can't comment on their riding. I know it will piss them off and they will then get me banned from commentary. So. But I did just go silent for the rest of their round.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker C: I thought that landing one on a horse after it had stopped was an instant elimination.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker A: Now if you're. This is over here, I think you're not allowed to hit them more than three times. And it's not got to be in use of anger. I think it's got to be.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker B: Well, in. In Canada.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker A: No, in. I think it's an FEI rule.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker C: I thought the rule was that you.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker B: I thought it was twice now to encourage them forward. It's not exactly allowed to be used. It's not allowed to be used as a reprimand.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker C: Yeah. So if it's canted in, if it counters in and stops, he shouldn't have
• 1:04:13
  Speaker A: hit it at all.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker C: If you crack it one as after it stopped and it's still facing the fence, that's elimination, isn't it? Because that's not for forward. That's reprimand. It ain't jumping that fence from a standstill.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker A: Oh, it was totally reprimand. And I. Yeah. I did then Google how to report a rider, and I was like, why is nobody at the show reporting this rider? Like, it just blows my mind. So.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker C: Yeah, so it's too late.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker B: That's the.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker A: That's the thing. It's like, there is no benefit for that moment in time.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker C: Like, if that was gonna work, it was gonna work two strides out or three strides out. Yeah.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker C: You can't make up for. Do you know my other pet peeve that's in line with this? When a horse hurts someone, whether they stand on their foot or they slam the head into the person's face on the floor, and the person kind of bends over, goes off, walks around for a minute while they're in pain, and then comes back and tells the horse off. Because you're like. Even if you were trying to reprimand the horse for that behavior, it's gone. The moment is gone. If you think how horses react, like, if one horse bites another on the bum, it doesn't run off down the field, walk around until its bite mark doesn't hurt anymore, then come back and kick the other one. It's that instant. No, I don't like that. So it's.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker B: Yeah, but that. They're just venting the temper. Yeah. Just do that. It'd be like wild educating the horses.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker A: Yeah. Can you imagine if wild knocked over some milk and you cleared it up and then you went over and walloped him and then just hit him. But don't explain it. Just hit him.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker C: Yeah, Hit him as soon as he knocks the milk over. Beat him.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's better. Yeah.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker B: Then that's perfectly okay.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker C: He must face the milk immediately and be whipped.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker A: I was just about to come on the podcast. And James tipped a load of milk on the stairs, on the carpet. And I'm like, oh, hold our household.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker C: Maybe it's because we're still so new to it and we're still full of enthusiasm, but like, wild this morning got hold of the kitchen roll and us started unraveling it. And instead of us being like, oh, he shouldn't have that, he looked like he was having fun. So we were like, yeah, let's take it into the living room. Let's destroy this kitchen roll.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker B: Let's go.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker A: It's anything to have five minutes apiece and a child doing something.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker C: Absolutely.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker B: I remember when my first job and they had a three year old son, maybe he was four, three or four. And we'd swept the yard and we just finished and then I was in another, I was doing feeds or something, I can't remember. And then the mum who was like my boss, she was like, oh, come
• 1:06:56
  Speaker A: and have a quick look at this.
• 1:06:57
  Speaker B: And so I went around the corner and there was this little lad and with a bale of shavings or bag of shavings, just throwing shavings everywhere, all over the yard.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker A: She's like, oh, my God, isn't he so funny and cute? I was like, no, he's fucking not funny and cute. Just sweat that. Oh, I'm really happy to have this job. Please don't fire me. Oh my God, I can't believe you're thinking this is funny. Then people come up and go, this is my child. And you're like, yes, your child has got all the food in the world over its face and snot. Can you. I can see it. Can you not see that? Can you not see what is on your child's face? Why is that? Okay, why do I have to talk to your child with stuff on its face? Why, why, why, why?
• 1:07:46
  Speaker B: Cannot bear it and relax.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker A: Okay, on that note, what's annoyed you boys this week? We've been going for over an hour.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker C: Oh, what's annoyed me this week?
• 1:07:56
  Speaker B: I've got something annoyed me a little bit today.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker A: Oh, no, I'm sorry.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker B: No, I. I'm going cross country schooling tomorrow.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker B: And so I rang my friend up who, who's got this cross country course. So I'm gonna go. And she's like, oh, I got a bit annoyed today. And I was like, oh, why is that? She said, oh, just because somebody had a fresh horse so they just lunged it in the middle of the cross country course. And she was like, do you know how much work we've Done to make this ground like it is, and you're now lunging on it. And I was just like, I'm annoyed on your behalf. That would be really bad.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker C: But why not just jump on it and give it a blast? Start to finish on the cross country course? Like go round the cross country course.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker B: Well, that's what I did the other day. I had one that was really quite feisty and I was like, oh, I'm a bit scared. I was just gonna counter.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker C: Just move.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker B: Yeah. And then he was fine. But I, I just, it's just, it's just thoughtless. I just think that's really thoughtless behavior. It's like they, they've, you know, they've, they've been very kind to open it as early as they have because it is still quite wet and it very easily would get trashed. And there you are lunging.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker A: I mean, drives me mad. It was like, when did some filming at, at your place. And there's signs everywhere that says, keep off the grass. Keep off the grass. And there are people, because the grass on that bit is lovely, where they've kind of cultivated it and people are there grazing their horses on it. It's like there is a sign next to your horse's mouth that says, keep off the grass, but yet you feel that it's appropriate. Just because you're not on the grass doesn't mean your horse is allowed on the grass.
• 1:09:39
  Speaker C: Yeah, the place I, my mates in Kentucky, where I stay on their yard and do clinics and stuff, they will kick. They give the briefing to everybody when they arrive, but they will kick people off the clinic and off the yard for taking the horses on the grass that they're not allowed on. They have grass you are allowed on. But they say, do you know, do
• 1:09:59
  Speaker A: you see how you're, you're choosing to
• 1:10:01
  Speaker C: hand graze your horse on that manicured grass near the manicured trees with the plants and the flowers. Yeah, go, go home.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker B: You're dismissed.
• 1:10:12
  Speaker C: Yeah, go. Get off my land. Take your horrible horse.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker B: So we, and we, we have that field farm where I'm based. Like, we have people that come and hire the school and there are clinics there and things. And you come, you go to get to the indoor school. You go up Joe's. Well, it's not private because people go up all the time. But like, it's basically her private drive. And there's a lawn, there's a lawn on the left and then the indoor school's on the right and people just let their horses graze on her mown grass. There's no sign on it saying do not, do not go on the grass or anything like that. But this doesn't need to be. It's her lawn. But people just let their horses walk all over it and graze on it. And I just think, guys, this is someone's home. Like, how would you feel if somebody came in with a horse and went into your back garden and started grazing your lawn? You wouldn't like it very much.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker A: Maybe we need to get a lorry cushion with our super cross country merchandise that just says don't be a dickhead. What's that?
• 1:11:06
  Speaker C: What about? Oh, I'm not allowed to say that on the podcast, am I?
• 1:11:09
  Speaker A: Never mind the cunt. Don't be one of them.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker C: Don't be a. Just because it's not your home.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker B: That's a great cushion,
• 1:11:20
  Speaker C: but it's the truth.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker B: Or just don't be a cu. Next Tuesday.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker A: There you go.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker C: I hold clinics here and when I. I have one barn, which is my nicest barn, I have like lots of barns, but I have one barn that I've really plowed money into and it's my really nice barn. And so I move all of my horses out and disinfect it so that my clients can have that barn because it's really, really nice. And we just say to them, just look after it like you're at home, you know, muck out. You don't have to empty the stables. We'll empty them. But can you muck out while you're here? Because they're three day clinics. Two of them at one of the summer clinics last year just deep littered their horses over three days and it made me so angry. One from a horse welfare point of view, because in a. I know that when we're having our group discussions, you're the person that pipes up the most and is like, well, I think this. Well, I think that. And I felt like I didn't. And I'm not letting people know who it was. But you feel like taking a picture of it and putting it up on our online community and being like, where your horse? Have you only got high horse welfare in a conversation? Because what about this? Just knowing full well that they were going to go home and it would be our problem. That annoyed me. But that's not my. What's annoyed me this week will be a little bit linking with yours on the grass. Simon, you've not been to mine. Jenny, you have. There's that long two mile stretch of road from the village to our place and it's beautiful countryside and it's amazing for people to go running and walking and walk their dogs and go out with their children and all of those things. People cannot be asked to get off the road and start. And there's flat grass verges and fields either side. You can get off the road easily with the I, when I go out carriage driving, even with a team of four, I can get off the road four cars. And then when I see people out walking and out walking dogs and they will not get off the road when they see a car. They will just stand and make the car go around them. And so the grass verges are now getting absolutely destroyed and rutted and muddy and just destroyed because people can't be arsed to get off the road. If you want to walk on concrete, walk around the village, stay in the village, don't come down on the common because it really. Maybe it upsets me.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker A: I'm surprised it would wind me up.
• 1:13:53
  Speaker B: It grinds your gears.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker C: Well, you can go for nearly a 2 mile canter down those grass verges. Oh, well, you used to be able to. You can because they've got massive ruts in them because people have had to drive around you because God forbid you take one step 30cm to your left so you could stand on the grass so a car could get past like, oh, makes me very angry. If you don't like the countryside, stay out of it.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker A: I totally agree.
• 1:14:23
  Speaker B: Right, so now how long have we got?
• 1:14:27
  Speaker A: I don't know. Why?
• 1:14:29
  Speaker B: Well, because you're gonna do your. What's annoys you this week. Yeah, I have a feeling it's gonna. We're gonna be here for a while.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker A: Buckle up boys, I'm coming in. So where'd you want to start? Right. No good deed goes unpunished. Don't get me wrong, I'm dog sitting now. I don't have a hatred of any dog. It's just something.
• 1:14:52
  Speaker B: I thought you hated corgis.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker A: I don't hate corgis. I just hate the ones that are badly trained and vicious. That's what I've met plenty of corgis alike. I don't dislike any breed, but I'm dog sitting a beagle. Now I've heard that beagles are probably the worst dog to own as an average Joe because they're very difficult to train and I knew this. But I've met this beagle and I have to say one of the reasons they do animal testings on beagles is because of their nature. They are the sweetest in nature.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker C: That's not what I thought you were gonna say at all. I thought you were gonna say beagles are such bastards that they do animal testing on them because you can blind a beagle with chemicals and not feel bad about it.
• 1:15:37
  Speaker A: After the last five days, I'm not entirely sure that that's not true, Benjamin, because there's not a vicious bone in this dog's body. He's a lovely size of a dog. So on paper, personality wise, from that perspective, he's a great family dog. He's very sweet, very amenable in that respect. But fuck me, I don't know if he's on crack or if he's been on speed. Like, what he is. Like, you turn around and he's on your desk or he's on the dining room table or if he could get up on the kitchen table, he would. Or he's like, like, you know, after a few times of saying something, a dog will leave the guinea pigs alone. Or I've had to barricade every part of my house because he's like a mountain goat on speed. He's just ridiculous. And he's not.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker B: He's everywhere.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker A: He's just everywhere. And they. On a walk, you know, like all my dogs I train to the. That whistle, they'll probably. Oh, Maverick hasn't even looked up. That's how well trained he is. He's like, I'm inside, it's raining. That means walk, not happening. But all my dogs like food, repetition, whatever. Doesn't take long before they'll learn it. When his nose is on the floor, you could drop a bomb and he would not turn around like it is. He's so ruled by his nose, you can't let him off a lead. And honestly, it's absolute chaos. Like, he'll get on the. My desk and he broke my glasses. He smashed. Like he's absolutely nuts. And then like, we have an area down here where we shut all the dogs down. He's whining, he refuses, he's pulling stuff down, he's leaping over gates and barriers because I want to shut them down so I can let the guinea pigs out upstairs. We have to literally, like, I've barricaded the top of the stairs so now I'm having to climb over everything in my own bloody house. Like, don't get me wrong, I like the dog, but I couldn't own one. It's just, it's exhausting.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker B: I'm so tired. Is that the breed of dog or is that just his personality?
• 1:17:33
  Speaker A: Though no breed of dog. I've been told about beagles before. Like, you just shouldn't own a beagle. He needs to work. So they had bought me a food bowl and stuff for him and I. Because I've got those food bowls where it's quite hard to get the food out for my Jack Russell because he eats so quickly and then he's trying to annoy Maverick, so he's got this bowl where he has to kind of use his tongue to get things and move stuff around. So I've given him that just to keep him occupied for a bit of time when he's eating. So he's like, one gulp's all gone and then. Yeah, it's just. Yeah, he's just exhausting. He's exhausting. Like, I just can't describe it. It's just like, what's wrong with you? What's actually wrong with you? Ben's laughing, but, yeah, don't get a beagle. I please people.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker C: But there's a hound, isn't it? I think the problem with beagles is people look at them and think, oh, isn't it small and cute? But it's. No, it's designed to search and hunt and be busy all the time.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker A: Yeah, it is busy all the time.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker C: Seek and destroy the time.
• 1:18:29
  Speaker A: It's adhd.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker B: Is he like your spirit animal, then, Jenny, do you think?
• 1:18:35
  Speaker A: I am a bit like that. I'm like, la, la. Oh, squirrel. Yeah. Maybe that's why we're clashing so badly. There's only room for one.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker B: That's probably what it is. I reckon that's what it is.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker A: There's only room for one dickhead in this house and it's gonna be me.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker B: Or your husband.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker A: Yeah, or my husband.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker C: I've just come to the realization that when Jenny meets my dog, she's gonna hate him.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker B: Why?
• 1:18:58
  Speaker C: Because he won't come to a whistle. He does as he likes and he will climb on the kitchen table and destroy things and run round like a tiny ginger terrorist.
• 1:19:07
  Speaker A: Tim, you haven't asked me to look after him.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker C: Oh, so that's fine to be in the vicinity of someone else's problem.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker A: Yeah, someone else's problem. It's fine.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker B: Yeah, someone else. Jenny's like, oh, how cute.
• 1:19:18
  Speaker A: Yeah, but not in my house. Not in my house. I'm gonna politely decline any other offers to help my friend, but. And also, I like letting dogs off the lead. I like being able to go for a walk and have a dog off a lead. I'm not. I'm not A fan of being dragged around the place. And yeah, it's just. Yeah, I'm tired. I'm tired. I need the beagle out my house. Anyway, that's the first thing that's annoyed me. And don't get me wrong, he's very.
• 1:19:45
  Speaker B: We've got a list.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker A: Second. Second one. I didn't realize how closeted a life I was leading and how big this thing was getting. But I watched the Inside the Manosphere or whatever it's called on Netflix.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker C: Yeah, me and George watched that last night.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker A: I first of all think any. Everyone should watch it. Everyone. Because I do wonder, like, how the hell has Trump got in? How are so many people stupid enough to. To vote for him? Like, I don't understand it, but there was this one point where one of these influencer chaps is walking down a street in New York and he is being stopped left, right and center by people who follow. Millions of people follow these men that I have never even heard of. It is terrifying. And they're. What annoys me. Apart from all of it. The whole thing annoys me is that people believe them. And what I thought Louis Ferraud did so cleverly.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker B: He was so clever with it.
• 1:20:48
  Speaker A: So cleverly. It's the fact that he. Like the one point where he was slagging off Jewish people and slagging off women and all of these things. And Louis Ferro just went, would you say this in front of your mum? He's like, absolutely not. My mum would give me a slap. And he left it at that.
• 1:21:04
  Speaker C: Do you not find that was the most terrifying bit?
• 1:21:07
  Speaker A: Yeah, because all these men believe what he's saying.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker C: But he doesn't even know because he was raised right.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. And that's the thing, like, why I think everyone should watch it is because you have got to be so careful, however well you think you're raising your kids or doing. The fact that any child has access to the utter uncomprehensible bullshit that these men are spilling out of their gobs is absolutely terrifying.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker C: So do you think. Well, I'm interested because from my point of view, yeah, it's just. Tosh. It's like it was like watching satire. Like, it was. It was that insane.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker B: And the level of so stupid, like, really silly.
• 1:21:47
  Speaker C: And the level of misogyny and homophobia and all of that, disgusting. Like truly, truly vile. Vile to watch. I don't think the way to counter it is to try and do everything you can to keep people away from that media.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker C: Because you. Because you can't and you won't like. I get Andrew Tate stuff as I scroll along. But what I actually see it as is more of a crisis, as humans need direction, young men need direction and purpose. And if you don't give it to them, they're going to look for it.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 1:22:22
  Speaker C: And these people are the ones they live to. They're. They're the only person in some young men's lives giving them a. Giving them a pro. Like saying, because you're a bloke, you're great. And they go, yeah, I've not been told that before. I've never been like. And please no one twist me out of what I'm saying here. I think every person bar Louis in that documentary is a cretin and does not in any way embody masculinity or anything idyllic. But similarly to when we've talked about this with Horse Welfare, I don't think the answer is just being angry at the people doing the thing wrong. I think it's trying to make sure they get no more acolytes by giving them purpose, direction and encouragement in other areas so that they don't look to places like that to be told that they're worth something, to be told that they're great, to be told that they have purpose and meaning. But I don't have any suggestions or answer to how you do it.
• 1:23:34
  Speaker A: Terrifying. Instead, it's absolutely terrifying. And what made me laugh as well is when he was. His kind of anti Semitic views and him saying like, death to Jews and everything. And then Louis was like, so you don't like Jews? And he was like, no, I've got no problem with Jews. The guy holding the cameras, a Jewish. It's like, so stop fucking spouting it on social media then, because people.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker C: Yeah, because you got that.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker B: The HS Tiki Toky guy. Yeah, he was, he was saying, I'm misogynistic and I'm a misogynist and I'm. I'm a homophobe. And that's. That's what I am. And then the next bet he's saying, oh, no, no, I'm not, I'm not a homophobe. I've got. I've got a gay friend.
• 1:24:15
  Speaker A: Yeah, but that's not the he shows because that's not going to get clicks.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker B: Yeah, there's literally no consistency. It's just bizarre.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker A: What he shares online is the homophobe misogyny bit, but behind the camera, no, Mum, I'm not a misogynist. Women can vote. My one of My friends is Jewish and one of my friends is gay. But the. And the young boys watching this or anyone watching it believe the shitty spouting. And this is like whatever level you are of influencer, you have to remember that people believe what you are saying. And it doesn't matter if you're selling horse products all the way up to the extreme, which is these lot, people believe what you are saying. So you have a absolute duty of care to make sure that what you are putting on your channels is not utter or something that could do someone harm.
• 1:25:07
  Speaker C: Yeah, but.
• 1:25:07
  Speaker B: Yeah, but they don't though. They don't think. They don't think like that at all. And there's no, there's no policing of it either, which is. It's a bit like the influences, the equestrian ones as well. You know, somebody, a friend of mine was put a thing on Facebook having a bit of a rant about, you know, we need to stop these influences. There are people riding horses with flips, flip flops on backwards. And I've not, I've not seen it, but any. And I mean, that is not great. No, like I said, I've not seen it. But you know, if stuff like that's happening, it needs to be police, really, because like I feel seen.
• 1:25:44
  Speaker A: You feel seen? Yeah.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker C: You're like people riding bareback in flip flops facing backwards on a horse. I'm like standard summer day on the yard down here. Oh, But I. I do know what you mean. I think it is. That's so funny. The problem is that views, views are now money. I saw an interesting article on this saying, perhaps I don't think we should curb people's free speech because I saw a funny thing on that. Do you remember earlier in this year where it turned out that Elon Musk's AI people were using it to make horrific images of child abuse and things.
• 1:26:27
  Speaker A: I didn't hear that.
• 1:26:28
  Speaker C: And so they, it doesn't surprise me. So they, they basically were said, you need to stop that availability for people. It was all cartoon images, but you need to stop. People need to do that. In a weird way, part of my brain said, no, no, don't stop them. But the moment someone types something like that in, you find their IP address, you find their information off the Internet and now they're on a list and we go around with a policeman. Like allow people to put their moronic thoughts out on the Internet so you can find them and try and maybe offer them that help and at the same time don't allow, you know, have you. If you. I watch a lot of YouTube and there are all sorts of words that you can't say on YouTube, otherwise you can't be monetized. More of that would be good. If you can't be monetized for drivel and for healthy things, then you won't. People won't do it because if they can't gain money from it, then it's no longer the type of content which is relevant or useful, but it is terrifying.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker A: And it goes the board. Remember who is watching your and have a conscience. Young girls watch it. If you're selling a food supplement, remember young girls are watching it. If you don't like it, don't talk about it. Like it just. Things like that just drive me absolutely nuts. Like, you have a young audience and I don't get me wrong, I think parents should be the ones also who restrict access. But like in the fact my parents didn't stop me drinking at 14. It's going to be hard to stop kids going on social media at a young age. Do you know what I mean? Oh, it just. It really gets my go and I just cannot. What gets my go and makes me so sad is just people like this exist like this, these HS and Andrews.
• 1:28:12
  Speaker C: You know what made me more sad?
• 1:28:14
  Speaker A: What?
• 1:28:15
  Speaker C: The women that were with them.
• 1:28:17
  Speaker A: Oh, my God. Yeah.
• 1:28:18
  Speaker C: And I'm not. I am not. I feel like I'm walking on thin bucking ice in all of this.
• 1:28:23
  Speaker A: I think this whole episode's been on very thin ice. Don't worry.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker B: But.
• 1:28:27
  Speaker C: Because obviously the men are the worst part of this. But if you as like that hs Tikky Tocky, whatever he is. I hadn't even heard of him before this.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker A: No, neither of you. That's what's scary.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker C: If that's your professional name, come the fuck on.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker A: But right, bam.
• 1:28:44
  Speaker C: If he. It's not HS Tiki Docky. If he goes around in his life saying bullshit and as a result of his bullshit becomes a millionaire that gets sexual access to all the women that he wants. You can kind of see why he keeps doing it. But I don't get it. What's in for these? Every time I saw them, I was like, so you're with him, but he sleeps around but you're not allowed to and he's gonna treat you like shit. Why are you here?
• 1:29:15
  Speaker B: Yeah, I did think that as well. I was like, what are you getting out of this?
• 1:29:20
  Speaker C: Or is it just money?
• 1:29:22
  Speaker B: Well, it must be. I couldn't think of any other reason.
• 1:29:24
  Speaker C: Or are they not real partners? Are they paid to be there? Are they paid to play the part?
• 1:29:29
  Speaker A: But none of those relationships last.
• 1:29:31
  Speaker B: No, clearly not. No.
• 1:29:32
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 1:29:33
  Speaker B: Cause at the end they had, like, little bits and they said, oh, they've split up.
• 1:29:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker C: They're just cretins. They're just.
• 1:29:41
  Speaker A: Oh, it really worried me. Like, the world is changing at such a pace. I feel so old.
• 1:29:51
  Speaker B: Oh.
• 1:29:51
  Speaker C: If it makes you feel any better, we had this conversation while mucking out yesterday. When the printing press was created, everybody worried about how much it was going to destroy the youth. So we are quite resilient. Every time we come up with new technology, we freak out and I think there's. And then we adapt and then we adapt and then we're. I don't. Because I. The bit I find as well is I don't know any lads, I don't know any men and I don't know any. Any of the young guys that I know. I don't know any of them who look up to those people or who would see that as anything more than satire or as being morons.
• 1:30:31
  Speaker B: Who are these millions of people that follow them?
• 1:30:33
  Speaker A: I know, but that's the scary thing.
• 1:30:35
  Speaker B: I don't get it.
• 1:30:36
  Speaker A: I'm just gonna stay living in the mountains and level up my daughter down the hill. That's all I'm gonna do. Or my son.
• 1:30:42
  Speaker C: I was gonna say, surely the sun's the worry for this one. Don't.
• 1:30:47
  Speaker A: Just gonna teach them. I bought them both pen knives. Carry that around the evening. No, I'm joking.
• 1:30:52
  Speaker C: Oh, my God. Do not carry knives. Children should be drunk and carry sharp objects. That's how we stop the rise of misogyny. And.
• 1:31:04
  Speaker A: Oh, I don't know. I just don't know what the solution to it is. But I hope documentaries like Louis Theroux,
• 1:31:11
  Speaker B: people watch it and go, he is so clever the way he, like, doesn't get rattled. He asks a question and he just puts it there. And then they just. And. And then they ruin themselves. He doesn't need to. He doesn't really need to do any work. He just asks a really basic question. But it's so well thought out.
• 1:31:29
  Speaker A: I know. It's so simple, brilliant, like. And just the unraveling of themselves. Yeah, Very, very clever. Maybe we could learn a thing or two. Me not talking over people while they're doing their interview. Just shut up, Jenny.
• 1:31:41
  Speaker C: And Louis. Quiet sucks. Like, Louis is so successful in all of his career and I would guess that also fabulously wealthy from his career, but is the antithesis of what those Guys were in it. Do you know when they're talking about success and fame and money and you're thinking, you realize the man you are talking to has all of those things,
• 1:32:07
  Speaker A: but he doesn't get his opinion on them. He just lets them. Like, because if you get into an argument, those guys are just going to shout you down, you're never going to win, and they're just going to shout and shout and shout until you give up. And what I thought was so genius was the way he just kept his opinions to himself, which must have been so hard. And occasionally he did kind of go on. I strongly disagree with that. But his patience for it all was incredible and that was the best thing. It was very, very clever.
• 1:32:35
  Speaker C: I think our next tour, can we organise for Jenny to film a documentary in the same way with the same influencer?
• 1:32:43
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 1:32:44
  Speaker C: And Simon and I could just watch with popcorn as Jenny is introduced to HS Tiki Toki.
• 1:32:50
  Speaker A: I think I'd last about five minutes before this big security session.
• 1:32:53
  Speaker B: Could you imagine?
• 1:32:58
  Speaker C: Remember that time that Jenny glassed that Manosphere influencer?
• 1:33:05
  Speaker A: Oh, my God. Could you imagine? By the way, you're not allowed to vote. Excuse me, young man. I'm sorry. Do you want to come and say that to my face? Yeah, you know, right. I was like, we have to keep this to an hour, boys.
• 1:33:19
  Speaker B: But we're well over.
• 1:33:21
  Speaker A: We are well over. It's all right. It's lovely to see you, Benjamin. We have missed you. We have missed.
• 1:33:29
  Speaker B: You're looking very healthy and very well.
• 1:33:30
  Speaker C: Oh, bless you. Thank you very much.
• 1:33:32
  Speaker A: And just in other news, for anyone listening to this who may not have listened to the Louise. Dr. Louise Newson. We've had so many amazing messages from lots of women reaching out. Even someone from my husband's work who had never listened to this podcast, had never. Not horsey in any way, shape or form. He confided in my husband about having a shit time and my husband said, listen to the podcast. And we got a lovely message from him saying how excited he is to now start on a journey with his wife of healing and they're getting the help they need. Made me quite emotional. Then God podcast me not crying, it's not gonna happen. And just loads of messages like that. So people, please keep sharing that podcast because it's genuinely helping people and to have someone like Dr. Louise Newson in this space is just absolute honor and a privilege. And, yeah, it is doing lots of good. So thank you for those who shared it and for all those who've left messages I'm trying to respond, but anyone who is starting their journey on. On that, good luck. And, yeah, there's lots of help out there, so stick with it because there's highs and lows, highs and lows. I had a low last month, but I'm coming back out the other side this month. But, yes, so that was lovely and
• 1:34:47
  Speaker C: well done to you, Jenny, for making that happen. And here.
• 1:34:51
  Speaker B: It's such a positive impact on people.
• 1:34:53
  Speaker C: It's great.
• 1:34:56
  Speaker A: Thank you. And we're going to be at Badminton. Please come and watch us. Come and listen. We're going to be on the Thursday. It's very exciting that we can share that with you. We had lots of messages of people saying they're going to come and listen and watch and we're going to get some exciting guests on and, yeah, it's gonna be very exciting. Very, very exciting. Can you believe it? We're going to Badminton.
• 1:35:18
  Speaker B: Have you ever been to Badminton, Ben?
• 1:35:20
  Speaker C: No.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker B: Oh, my gosh, it's for your first visit.
• 1:35:24
  Speaker C: I've never been to. I've only been to one event in my life, so I was performing there. I went to Gatcombe once.
• 1:35:32
  Speaker A: Oh, I cannot wait.
• 1:35:34
  Speaker C: So I'm really looking forward to all of that, that side of it.
• 1:35:39
  Speaker A: You walking that course is going to be one of my favourite things ever.
• 1:35:42
  Speaker C: Yeah, I'm expecting very much to feel like Noel Fielding in Bake Off. Like, that's my presence at Badminton, isn't it? Just to be the moron to ask the questions everybody else is too embarrassed to. That's going to be me.
• 1:35:55
  Speaker A: Oh, I bloody love Bake Off. But do you know what they call it over here? They call it the Great British Baking Show.
• 1:36:03
  Speaker B: Oh, really? Why is that?
• 1:36:04
  Speaker C: Why?
• 1:36:05
  Speaker A: I don't know. Apparently North Americans don't understand Bake Off. It's.
• 1:36:11
  Speaker C: It's part of the charm.
• 1:36:13
  Speaker A: I know, it's obviously an English term anyway, right, Please, like, share. Get people listening to this podcast. The more you listen, the more we can do. Leave us lots of comments and reviews. Only if they're good ones. Don't want to hear from you, Andrew Tate. I might have to edit out some of this because I think we've. We've crossed the line. But, boys, we are recording next with the lovely Charles Owen team. We're going to get into the facts we are behind why things have changed in the world of Charles Owen, which is going to be exciting and they are wonderful. But, Simi, are you competing this weekend?
• 1:36:51
  Speaker B: I am. I'm. Lincoln Horse Trials on Sunday.
• 1:36:54
  Speaker A: We haven't even spoken about the fact that you're back out eventing. Are you having fun?
• 1:36:58
  Speaker B: Yeah, no, it's great. That's great.
• 1:37:00
  Speaker A: It's good. I love the fact we're having a nice time on an equestrian podcast and you talk about your acting career.
• 1:37:05
  Speaker B: Yeah, I know it's a little bit wrong, but. Yeah, no, it's good. It's all good so far.
• 1:37:12
  Speaker A: Excellent. And Ben, how's your tour going?
• 1:37:14
  Speaker C: Yeah, we start. We. I just realized that as well. I was like, probably should have mentioned tour earlier. Yeah, we're going on tour on Friday. First date this weekend. On Saturday we'll be at the Grange Equestrian Centre in Devon. And then, yeah, we're on a roll. The Grange. Then next weekend, Kelsall Hill. After that it's a Rena uk. And then we're heading to Scotland, Ingleston and Snek. So it's going to be great.
• 1:37:38
  Speaker A: Hey, excellent. Amazing, right? Wild boys. I love you.
• 1:37:43
  Speaker B: I should mention that I'm doing two demos next week.
• 1:37:45
  Speaker A: Oh, yes, you are.
• 1:37:47
  Speaker B: And there's still tickets available for that. I'm doing one at Vailview on 25 March with Megal Fick the Influencer, and then we're doing another one at heartbury on Friday, 27th March.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker A: Is she a massive misogynist? Is she a massive misogynist or is it okay?
• 1:38:05
  Speaker B: I think she's. I think she's a good influencer.
• 1:38:07
  Speaker A: I think. I think it's all right. I think we can talk about it.
• 1:38:09
  Speaker B: I think she's okay.
• 1:38:10
  Speaker A: I think she's okay. She's not dating Andrew Tate, so we're all right. Well, good luck with your tours, boys. Make sure you go and see them in action. I think Buster's going, isn't he, to your tour?
• 1:38:21
  Speaker B: Buster? Buster is going. He's also running this weekend.
• 1:38:24
  Speaker A: Oh, exciting, right? I love you. I've got to go back to parenting, if they call it that. Some kind of parenting. See you guys on Monday because we're going to record again.
• 1:38:35
  Speaker B: But for now, until then, shut up
• 1:38:37
  Speaker A: and ride Shut up and ride Shut
• 1:38:40
  Speaker C: up and ride Ride Shut up. Shut up.
• 1:38:46
  Speaker B: Right.