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I Have Tattoos. Here's Why They're A Bad Idea. · The Matt Walsh Show

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Major news dropped this week.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: You no doubt noticed the ground trembling beneath your feet
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: and felt the violent blast of hot wind blowing across
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: the country as the news of this event slammed into
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: the planet like an asteroid the size of a stadium,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: leaving a gaping crater in the Earth's crust. The whole
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: world was shaken. Everything changed. Nothing will ever be the
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: same again. Congresswoman Nancy Mace got some tattoos. Now we'll
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: put the images up on the screen for those who
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: find the claim wildly implausible.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: There they are. It's proof.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: The pictures that Nancy Mace took to show the world
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: her new tattoos. There are a lot of them on
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: both arms. There's two whole sleeves of tattoos. There are
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: some flowers and some religious imagery and some random phrases
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: and also the word justice. There is no justice in
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: the world, but now at least we have it on
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Nancy Mace's left bicep. So that's something. Now, I know
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: about these tattoos, not because I was seeking information about
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Nancy Mace's tattoos or Nancy Mace in general, but because
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: multiple media outlets issued urgent reports on the subject. USA Today,
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: The New York Post, Yahoo, Newsweek, The Hill, The Daily Beast,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: The Huffington Post, which evidently still exists, all put their
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: best reporters on the Nancy Mace tattoo beat. There was
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: so much conversation about the tattoos that Snopes published a
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: fact check. Title, Does Nancy Mace Have Arm Tattoos? And
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: there then follows an entire article to inform us that
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: the answer is yes, she does have arm tattoos.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: That's it. That's the fact check.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Now, I have nothing further to say on the subject
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: of Nancy Mace's tattoos in particular, but this breathtaking development
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: did prompt another round of discussion and debate about tattoos
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: in general. You know, everyone seems to have them now,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: if not everyone, then a lot of people do. A
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: recent survey finds that 32% of Americans have a tattoo.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: In fact, more women than men are now sporting tattoos.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: And more than half of women between the ages of
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: 18 and 49 have at least one tattoo, more than half.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Now that number drops off a little bit for women
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: over 50, but Nancy Mace, who was almost 50, is
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: determined to pad those stats. Now, back in the old days,
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: You know, only bikers and prison inmates had tattoos, and
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: they were all men. And now the average 23-year-old college
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: graduate who's a female has the kinds of permanent skin
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: markings that used to be exclusively the province of large
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: men with felony convictions. Now, some people consider this a
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: bad thing, a sign of cultural decline. Others say that
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: it's a good thing. You know, it's a sign that
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: the culture is becoming more accepting of individual expression. And
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: you may think that I am in no place to
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: litigate this issue objectively. After all, I have a tattoo
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: right here. It's the Cairo on my forearm that I
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: got when I was in my early 20s. I have
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: another tattoo across on the opposite shoulder that I also
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: got in my early 20s.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: And in fact, I have a third tattoo.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I have the words thug life printed across my stomach,
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: but I don't like to talk about that one. So
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: let's just call it two tattoos for the sake of argument.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: So will I now stand up alongside my fellow tatted Americans,
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: my brothers and sisters of the ink, and defend the
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: beauty and virtue of tattoos? Well, the answer is in fact, no,
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I won't. I actually agree mostly with the tattoo critics.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: I think this whole tattoo thing has gotten way out
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: of hand. Everybody needs to stop with the tattoos. Okay,
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: it's too much. It's too much. Now, to be clear,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying that I regret my tattoos per se.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: They're both meaningful in the sense that they obviously denote
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: my Christian faith. At least I didn't get like a
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: tribal armband permanently branding myself as a guy who loved
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Three Days Grace in 2002.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: At least I didn't get a Chinese symbol.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: That was popular for a while that I was told
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: means harmony or whatever, but really just means Kung Pao
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: chicken with fried rice. At least I didn't get random
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: words or designs. At least I didn't get a Disney character.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: So I'm not embarrassed by the tattoos. I don't feel
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: the need to explain them, except for right now. My
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: take on my own tattoos is this. I don't have
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: any urge to get them removed, but I also would
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: absolutely never get another one. If I could go back
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: in time in a time machine Would I have still
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: gotten these tattoos?
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Probably not.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Mostly because if I'm going back in a time machine,
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: I don't want to waste the day sitting in a
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: tattoo parlor. But in summary, my tattoos are fine. They're okay.
• 4:47
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• 4:50
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• 6:13
  Speaker 1: And this is kind of the most you can hope
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: for with a tattoo.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: And that is why I'm now anti-tattoo, okay? I'm anti-tattoo
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: because I'm sitting in the somewhat unique position of somebody
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: whose tattoos 17 years later are a best case scenario.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I am as happy about the decision that my 23-year-old
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: self made in that tattoo parlor as a 40-year-old man
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: could possibly be. Things have worked out tattoo-wise as well
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: as you could ever hope. And still, it's just fine.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
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  Speaker 2: The tattoos didn't ruin my life. They have not invited
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: endless ridicule. I mean, I am subject to endless ridicule,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: but it's not because of the tattoos. I haven't lost
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: out on any jobs because of them. And people don't
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: stare at my tattoos and gawk and laugh and say
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: stuff like, oh man, how many Jaeger bombs did it
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: take to come up with that idea?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Like, I don't get those kinds of comments.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Instead, people, if they say anything about my tattoos, which
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: they usually don't, but if they do, they'll gesture and
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: say something like, oh, a tattoo, huh?
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: And I'll say, yeah. And they'll say, cool.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: And that's about the extent of the conversation that this
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: permanent mark on my body has generated. Which is to say, again,
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: it's fine.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: It's fine. It's not awful. It's definitely not awesome, though.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It's not wonderful. It's not a thing that I feel
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: amazingly great about. So my point is that if you
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: are making a permanent decision, if you're doing something that,
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: save an expensive and painful procedure, will be a permanent
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: part of your physical appearance forever, something that will literally
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: brand you, something that will potentially impact how other people
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: see you and perceive you and treat you forever, then
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: that decision, in order to be worth it, must have
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: a much, much higher ceiling than just, it's fine. Because
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: the floor is much, much lower than it's fine. The
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: floor for a tattoo is embarrassment, humiliation, looking like a
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: jackass or a moron, depending on what tattoos you got
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: and where you got them. And even if you don't
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: hit the floor, like the more likely stratosphere where most
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: people will end up floating, is just kind of looking
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: like a bit of a trend-following nerd. And that was
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: never a possible outcome of tattoos until recently. It used
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: to be that even if you got a terrible tattoo
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: that ruined your life, at least you were rebellious. And
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: now that's gone because everybody has them. So the most
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: likely outcome is that you've just sort of branded yourself
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: with a 2020s trend that will not stay trendy forever
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: because trends never do. Eventually, tattoos will be the equivalent
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: of somebody dancing the Macarena in 2026. At best, it
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: will have kind of a ironic nostalgia vibe. But more likely,
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: you'll just look like a weird dork. Now, tattoo apologists
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: will say, as I noted, that tattoos are all about
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: individual expression. But they're way too common and trendy to
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: be individual expressions. Like saying that your tattoos are a
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: form of individual expression, it's like saying that your blue
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: jeans are a part of or a form of individual expression. Now,
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: your blue jeans might look fine or they might not,
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: but one thing they will never be is individualistic. And
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: at least with the blue jeans, you can take them
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: off and change them. Getting a tattoo, it's like picking
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: out your favorite style of blue jeans and making a
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: blood oath to only wear those jeans, including in the pool,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: in the shower, and to bed for the rest of
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: your life. A stylistic choice, which is what blue jeans
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: are and what tattoos are, should never be permanent. There
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: is no upside to pledging yourself to that choice until
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: the end of your days, whether it's jeans or a
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: haircut or a t-shirt or a little fun design on
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: your skin. It is a style choice, and you have
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: to allow for the fact that at some point in
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: your life, your style might change. Now, what about expression?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Tattoos are most assuredly not individualistic at all anymore, but
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: are they at least a form of expression? Well, sort of, yes,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: but only in the way that bumper stickers are expressions.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: I often think this about bumper stickers and I think
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: it was Louis C.K. that had, or somebody has a
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: bit about this, which I'm sure is more insightful and
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: funnier than what I'm about to say. But piggybacking on
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: the point, when you put a bumper sticker on your car,
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: you are engaging in expression. But you're signing yourself on
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: to that particular expression, whatever it is, which will be
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: conveyed to anyone who happens to be behind you in traffic,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: whoever that is, for as long as you own that car. Now, sure,
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: maybe you find a bumper sticker that's kind of funny.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: But could any bumper sticker joke possibly be funny enough
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: that you want to tell it to every single person
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: you ever pass in traffic for the next 11 years?
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  Speaker 2: It's just not possible that anyone could ever put something
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: on a bumper sticker that justifies that level of commitment
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: and repetition. So, for example, I saw a bumper sticker
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: recently that said, no airbags, we die like real men.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: And it was kind of funny. I admit, it was
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: the first time I'd seen that. And I saw that
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: and I thought, ah, funny. But is that joke really
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: so funny that you need to go around telling it
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: to everyone, hundreds of people a day for years? Like
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: you would never do that in person. You would never
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: go to a party, introduce yourself to 27 people and
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: open with the same joke. Like you go up to
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: one person, hey, I'm Bob. You know, I don't have airbags. Yeah,
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I die like a real man. Then you walk across
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: the room. Hey, Bob here. Guess what? You know, I
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: don't have airbags. Yeah, I die like a real man.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: And then you go over to the person standing by
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: the veggie tray.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Hey, name's Bob. I don't know if you heard about
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: the whole airbag situation. Yeah, I don't have them.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: I die like a real man. Like eventually the joke
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: gets old is the point. It actually gets old really quickly.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: So affixing it to your vehicle in a manner that
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: cannot be removed without taking paint with it makes no sense.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: So the bumper sticker is expression, but it's a stock
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: cliched expression that is conveyed the same way to everyone forever,
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: which makes it hardly expression at all. And tattoos are
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: the same, but worse because they're on your body and
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: they require a medical procedure to remove if they can
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: be removed. Again, you're expressing something, but it's a stock
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: cliched prepackaged thing that you're announcing to everybody forever always,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: which is to say it's hardly expression at all. It's
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: like hallmark card expression at best. And you would never
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: commit yourself to only one hallmark card for the next
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: six decades. So why would you commit yourself to a
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: design on your body? Here's what I can tell you.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: As a 40-year-old man cursed to live with the stylistic
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: choices of a 23-year-old man, I never wake up and
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: look at my arm and say, oh, glad that's still there.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Thank God. Thank God that's still there. I am so
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: happy with that decision. No middle-aged adult feels that way
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: about the tattoos they got when they were younger.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: None of them.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: That kind of tattoo euphoria cannot be maintained if you
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: ever experience it at all. Instead, I generally wake up
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: and I don't think about it. In fact, I go
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: days and I forget that I even have the tattoo.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: And when I remember, you know, I shrug my shoulders
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: and I say, Yep.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: So there's that.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: And anybody in my vicinity asks me why I'm talking
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: to my own arm. Anyway, the tattoo is not worth
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: it in the end. You know, if you want to
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: spend 700 bucks on something, go buy an iPad or
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: a used couch or dinner at Five Guys. The tattoo
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: is not a worthwhile investment for anyone, including Nancy Mace.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: And that is why tattoos are today canceled.