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How We’re Making Life Work Without Cutting Everything · High Five Hot Mess Podcast

• Lisa Wilson: So we're not cutting everything right now. We're just really clear about what matters to us. And honestly, we would probably talk ourselves out of cutting everything any day. That's just not what we're going to do. Maybe I don't need to stop spending money. Maybe I just need to start making trades. And that's really what this is all about, make those trades. Lisa Smith: way. Yeah. So today we're going to talk a little bit about. the money mindset. And what that looks like when we want all the things, but sometimes we have to just make some trades, right? Can't have all the things. But it's a little girl math, I think, because we're now in this stage in our life where we want Lisa Wilson: Okay. can't have all the things. Lisa Smith: certain things and certain things are really important to us. ⁓ And we don't want to give them up. Right. But we also have to do all the things. Lisa Wilson: I mean, welcome to the High Five Hot Mess podcast. Literally for people doing all the things all the time, but still trying to find a high five. And I think that's like really the ground zero for not only the podcast, but today's episode. Lisa Smith: Absolutely, absolutely. So ⁓ I don't know about you, Lisa, but I've had to really kind of take a look at ⁓ what is important to me. Yeah. And what I'm willing to, ⁓ what I'm really, really willing to spend my money on. Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Lisa Smith: Because again, I don't know when the last time was that you filled up your gas tank. Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Lisa Smith: ⁓ It's like $5.50 a gallon. Lisa Wilson: Like, I'm not making trips anymore unless I absolutely have to, because I got a gigantic truck. And I did not think that gas was going to quadruple over 30 days. And so now I'm literally like like, OK, I have to go. So I'm going to get everything at one time to the closest to my house, because at $5.50 a gallon, it's limiting my abilities to go places. Lisa Smith: I mean, I cannot even imagine the people that have to commute long ways for work. if I was, if it was $5.50 a gallon when I was traveling like four hours a day for work every single day, I can't even imagine what that would have done to my expendable income, right? Yeah. But we still have to drive. We still have to use the car. We still have to go to the grocery store. We still have to buy the things. Like what have you noticed over the last little while that you've been like, whoa, that's kind of, that's a lot going on. Lisa Wilson: I mean, I think that it's been all about trades where I'm at, right? Because I'm at this point where, and I think that, I mean, I think anybody watching us, if you're like, yeah, I'm trading out, and again, I want to be super clear. We are not cutting. No. We're not restricting. We're not eliminating. Yeah. We're just saying, I want all of this. This matters to me. And this does not matter to me as much, right? And for me, it's really been. I'm unemployed. it's not that I've been planning for this for 18 years, because I'm in a volatile field. But it's really about, OK, we have to look at what we're spending money on. And when you don't have new money coming in, it doesn't matter how much you have saved. You can't keep putting that money back out. You got to say, if this, then that, if this, then that. And so for me, we went to ⁓ We did a whole bunch of things, but primarily we started getting our stuff at Costco. Lisa Smith: me about that because I'm a Costco girly. Lisa Wilson: I am not a Costco girlie because I don't like crowds. But if I can save $30 a week on paper towels, I'm 100 % going to go to Costco. Lisa Smith: Absolutely. So Costco for me, mean, people, I did go to Costco before I came here to get gas. yes, it was a little bit cheaper, but it wasn't like, ⁓ my gosh, it saved me all this money, right? Like I didn't feel like that. ⁓ I love Costco. They just built one by my house. So now I'm not fighting all the crowds. But ⁓ think about it though. Lisa Wilson: Mm-hmm. Lisa Smith: Is Costco always the cheapest? Lisa Wilson: No, Target is. OK. Honestly, so that's the other thing, is that we've really been looking at all the different things that we're spending money on and saying, OK, does this make sense? So just to give you guys an example. So when I buy Advil, which is a lot. Lisa Smith: Like every day. Lisa Wilson: At CVS, it's double the price at Target than it was, I'm sorry, it's double the price at CVS than it is at Target. Because CVS thinks you're going to use coupons. they put on coupon heavy environment. Correct. So it's like, OK, this ad bill is going to be double the price here because you're going to use a coupon. So it's really the same price as it is at Target. And so I checked that when we went to Costco, and it was more expensive at Costco than Target. Lisa Smith: cake. We have a coup. Lisa Wilson: So it's just a matter of, OK, I'm not going to not buy the Advil. I'm just going to buy it in the right place, maybe. Right. And I know you had an experience recently with laundry detergent. Lisa Smith: Right. Oh, okay, so that, let me not really go on that tangent too much about how insane I was feeling. I was having this moment in the grocery store where, you know, you have your grocery list, you're going to get your things. And I honestly was like, how are Tide Pods $30 now? 112 count, that's what I normally do, because I up. Lisa Wilson: $30? Lisa Smith: I use you know, because I dump it out and I it in my glass jars and all the things, you know, I'm a take out the package, you know, put it in a glass jar in my laundry room. And I'm like, I don't know if I want to do that. I don't know if that's so important to me that I need my Tide Pods today. How can I do something different? So and a couple of things kind of came up during that grocery trip, like, well, I don't know if I really want to. I don't really. want to $5 on a bag of chips. Like, I mean, you know, my son loves the chip. Lisa Wilson: A box of cereal is seven Like, yes. ⁓ I get it. Lisa Smith: Yeah, and so, you know, a couple things kind of changed my mindset. Like in that moment, I was like, you know, I'd seen different ways that you can make detergent on your own. I don't use powder detergent normally, but I was like, hey, I can do that. I know how to do it. I can do it. Lisa Wilson: So I call you, and we're talking about on Teams, and we're talking about this week's podcast. And you're like stirring this giant bucket like a tradwife. And I'm like, what are you doing? And you tell me what you were telling me. Lisa Smith: just, I'm finishing up the detergent. Cause here's what happened is I thought I had forgotten one ingredient that I really wanted to put in there. So I ran to the store before our team's call ⁓ and hurried got that. And I put it in and I needed to re-stir it all before I put it in the containers. ⁓ And, ⁓ I was hurrying and trying to stir it when our team's call started. Cause I wanted it to be done. Cause then when our team's call got off, I wanted to put it in the containers and just like be done with that. part of. of me saving some money on detergent and putting it away. So it was just funny how you were like, what are you doing? What is that? Making detergent, you're like, why? And you know, it is going to save a lot of money if I use it right and don't, you know, overuse it. You know, you can really only need a ⁓ little tiny bit. It'll go a long way. Like, I don't know about you, but I do a lot of laundry. Lisa Wilson: I do a lot. My ghost, when I die, my ghost is going to be doing laundry and dishes. Yeah. Lisa Smith: sure literally I do so much laundry and I did find a recipe to make like your own dish detergent and stuff I'm not there yet because I still like the little pods go in the dishwasher but ⁓ but no it works great it smells great I like put different scents in it like I did all the things like I personalized it to myself but ⁓ but that's what I was focusing on and the other thing was the chips yeah because I don't I spend so much money on chips my child eats Chips, he loves the chips. And ⁓ they've got to be kettle, baked like all the things. And I thought, you know what? I'm tired of spending five bucks on a bag of chips. Yeah. And so I actually got a bunch of chips at the Dollar General. ⁓ Not a Dollar General shopper, not normally, but Lisa, I saw this really great deal. I mean, I had to download the app and everything to like get the deal. Lisa Wilson: You shop at the Don Roach store normally, right? Lisa Smith: drove clear across town to use these coupons. I don't know how their coupons stack and do all that. I was not, I don't understand it. It's a whole thing. ⁓ But I did it and I got a bunch. Yeah, I got the things. I just thought, cause normally I can spend like, I don't know, $30, $40 in a grocery chip, grocery trip on like the snacks on like all the things. Yeah. Lisa Wilson: That's the food that is the most expensive as well. I think that this is what, when we were talking about all the different things that we're doing. And I'll go through mine in a minute. But it's a theme that's happening right now across not just the Gen Xers. Because it's important, if you're not a Gen Xer, we've said this before. It's a common recurring thing that we were always told that the more expensive it is, the better it is. Lisa Smith: Totally. Lisa Wilson: We were not raised by parents that wanted us to go to the dollar store to get a good deal. No. That wasn't what it was about. It was about, I am going to buy the Frito Lays because that's the hot brand. That's the brand everybody wants. And you can see it in the clothes that we wear. And you can see it in the brands that we buy. But I think that right now, I was talking to multiple people this week. And this theme kept coming up. And I think it's really. Lisa Smith: Yeah. Lisa Wilson: profoundly happening in the Gen X community, where we're like, OK, look, we were raised in such a feast or famine environment. was really like dieting is what comes to mind for me. My parents would spend gobs of money on food. But when they were dieting, it was very restrictive. We didn't have ice cream. We didn't have chips. We didn't have cookies. And that's really. that mindset is how we look at spending money, right? It's like, OK, well, I'm not working. So I need to really pull it all in and not spend any money. And that's not our vibe. So I think it's this weird balance of saying, I think if you're somebody who's out there that is also in the grocery store aisle, and you're looking at the brand name shampoo that you use, and then you're looking at the cheaper version that looks the same, and you're like, you know what? I'm going to get the cheaper version because I want to go on vacation this summer. Lisa Smith: I mean, I actually had that exact same conversation with myself. Because there was a moment where I was like, I'm not going to do the summer vacation. I can put that money elsewhere. I can put my time elsewhere. There's a lot going on. And maybe that summer vacation is just not what I can do. And I was talking to you a few months ago and kind of telling you. because you're like, hey, where are you going? What are you doing? I'm like, I'm just not, I'm not doing it. Because I want to put the money other places and I think it's just better and more responsible, which I mean, I'm not saying let's be irresponsible, but you said, take the vacation. Like you'll never get this time back. Figure out how to make it work. Yeah. And that's what I'm doing. So then I'm thinking, I want to do this on vacation. I want to do this on vacation. Or I want to try this or I want to Lisa Wilson: response. Mm-hmm. Lisa Smith: Maybe eat out a little bit more. Where we stay, there's always a kitchen and stuff. And so I cook in a lot. But maybe I want to eat out. And so I want to reprioritize where I'm moving my money. Lisa Wilson: That is literally 2026 in a nutshell. It's not that we're going to cancel all the fun stuff, because life is hard right now. We're a hard season. I think that we would be naive to say we're not. But we are still trying to figure out ways to bring ourselves joy. And I think that that is something that is resonating across all of my friends and you and me. it's like, OK, so how do I get the cool stuff, but also not end up in the red. Lisa Smith: So like, is there anything that you're doing? Lisa Wilson: Yeah, 100%. And I think that it's going look real different for me. But so OK, so we sat down. I sat down this week and I looked at all of our podcast expenses. And I worked with, and I know you guys, some of you are very anti-AI, but when you are a one-man show, like we are a two-man show, and you don't have a film crew and a production team, and you've got to use what tools are available to you. And so I went through with ChatGPT and said, OK, here are all of our subscriptions. My new boyfriend, ChatGPT, went through all of our subscriptions and said, where am I overpaying? And the place I thought we weren't overpaying, we were like, Lisa Smith: smart. Lisa Wilson: quadruply paying what we should have been. So at the end of that exercise, I saved us $500. And high five to that. I was very excited about that because I threatened to cancel subscriptions. And when they were like, here's our best deal, we saved like $500. Amazing. That's insane. then at home, or in my life, my personal life, because I don't have new money coming in, I'm not doing Lisa Smith: Awesome, right? That's amazing. Lisa Wilson: blowouts, I'm not going to the spa, I'm not buying new clothes. Because we're in a studio, if you guys can't tell. It's expensive. It's not free. normally I wouldn't get a blowout for this because we're in a studio. But I was like, nope, not going to do that because it's $80 to get a blowout, Minimum $50. Lisa Smith: So I traded the blowout for the steel. Lisa Wilson: I did trade the blowout for the studio and I was like, okay, we're you not gonna do that But the one thing that like I did not make a trade on is my spin classes I I It brings me joy and it it makes me feel like myself Like when you are in a position like I am right now and like many of us are where you did not You don't have new money coming in when like you weren't expecting Lisa Smith: Yeah. Lisa Wilson: to retire, right? But the universe retired you. You have to say, well, while I wait for this next thing to happen, what can I do to make me feel like myself and keep my stress under control? So I am literally like, I am not going to sacrifice on my spin classes. So I pay $25 a class. I go three days a week. And it helps me feel like myself. And I'm not going to trade that out for anything. Lisa Smith: Yeah. Okay. Lisa Wilson: Right? But I'm also not suffering. I feel like if I were to do the 80s Gen X thing of just take everything out that I don't absolutely need to survive, then I would feel like I was being punished. And it would start this shame, sad spot. Lisa Smith: Yeah. It's a loop that you get into Lisa that you're like, hey, now there's no fun. Now there's no nothing name brand. Now I can't even get the lipstick that I want or whatever. Then it just becomes like nothing, nothing, nothing. Everything gets stripped from you. And so I'm so glad that you prioritize spin because it's good for your health. It's good for your mental health, your physical health. You're getting out and you're doing something that you still love. Lisa Wilson: Absolutely. it's one of the things that is also like, want to caution everybody who's out there right now. This is not about cutting. And this is not about, it goes back to our main thing of it's not about cutting everything out. It's about trading. It's about thinking, like intentional spending. Yes. Right? so one of the, like the trade looks different for everybody. Yeah. Like I am, ⁓ Lisa Smith: I See you Lisa Wilson: unemployed, but I'm still doing boutique fitness classes. Lisa Smith: I mean, yeah, and I have a job, but I'm making my own laundry detergent. Lisa Wilson: I mean, because that's, you're gonna move your money where you- Lisa Smith: I'm gonna move my money where I want to. Lisa Wilson: Some of the things I heard this week that I thought was so cool, because of course, when we start talking about what we're going to talk about, it's because it keeps coming to us from the universe. So I was talking to my sister-in-law this week. She told me about a couple of cool things that's happening. I was not raised in thrift stores. She was raised in thrift stores, not because of necessarily monetary need, but because her dad was, ⁓ they would buy things and then resell them. He was a reseller. So they would go to the thrift stores, buy things that were cool, and then resell them for like, that's how they made money. That's super cool. She told me, and I thought this was cool, so I'll share it. are like Ralph Lauren has, and it's like some of the other big name designers from the 80s, have teams of people that they pay full time to go out to the thrift stores across America and look for their vintage items and pull them. Lisa Smith: We're hot right now. Yeah, like really hot. vintage couture items. Lisa Wilson: And then they're reselling them. It's a big business. It's a big business. like, that's not, mean, I'm not saying we all need to go out and do that. But like, that's some people, instead of buying new clothes, they're buying things at the thrift store because they can get something cool that looks current. Like me, sometimes I don't go to anthropology. Sometimes I go to Target. Not sponsored, but maybe we should be because I love Target. And then the neighborhood barter thing. So I got to talk about this. And we might do a whole episode on like how to save money in cool ways without feeling like it's restrictive. But apparently, they have community trinket boxes, which is when you have trinkets, like jewelry and stuff that is a costume that you don't wear, or just cool stuff you found that you're like, I don't want to throw this away, but I don't want to give it to a thrift store because it's just a trinket. They put trinket boxes out, and then everyone starts sharing trinkets in the neighborhood. And then they have a barter system where if you I don't like I am famous for buying products and then not liking them and like using them once or twice. Famous for it. OK. Well, you often can give that to a domestic violence shelter or something like that. But it's not usually easy. And if it's been open, they don't normally take it. But they have neighborhood bartering systems where they go and they trade out these items. And like so you're getting something that you need like. Lisa Smith: Yeah. Lisa Wilson: Like for me, if I brought all the moisturizers, you guys for real. If I brought all the moisturizers that I bought that you used once, like little kids don't care. They love that stuff. So like it's fun for them. Everybody feels like they got something for nothing. I think there's movements like this happening across the US right now. ⁓ And I think it's awesome. Lisa Smith: But do they have to be new stuff or can it be like gently used? Lisa Wilson: Whatever you want to do, right? OK. But I think that it's that feeling, a feeling like you still are not going without, but you didn't have to spend any money. Yeah. And it looks different for all of us and what that looks like. And it's just remarkable to me how creative people are getting and how innovative they are. Lisa Smith: Yeah. I was just talking to my sister the other day and my nephew had, you know, just turned 16 and I was like, what are you going to do fun? And she's like, we're going to the thrift store. That's what he wanted to do. He wants to go to the thrift store and they've got some really cool ones in the city. ⁓ and so that's what they did. So. Lisa Wilson: Yeah. I mean, it's whatever it's like my sister-in-law is very much about not buying new, not adding to the, you know, to all of the things that can happen like the. Lisa Smith: production waste and things like that. Lisa Wilson: All that stuff. again, a whole other episode, probably. But it could be something definitely that we're aware of and that we talk about. But I think that if you're anyone that's out there right now looking for different ways that you can make trades and different ways that you can say, this is how I can feel like myself but not go without. This is where we're all at right now. You're not alone. We're all here right now. And one of the things that happened this week that was just Lisa Smith: Yeah. Lisa Wilson: insane for me was that I was like, OK, ⁓ Doug and I are sitting there going through, ⁓ we're doing our Lisa's Unemployed audit. ⁓ again, we've been planning on this because both of our careers are so volatile ⁓ at any moment, one of us could be off the job. So we've been planning every day for the last 18 years. Like, it was our last day. So what would we do if we had no new money coming in? ⁓ we did this audit. Lisa Smith: Yeah. Lisa Wilson: And we went through all the different things that we were spending money on. And then we went through and we looked at cable services. So we were doing cable. So if you guys, young people out there, don't know what that means, it's what you have. Lisa Smith: Okay. I couldn't believe that you still had cable. Lisa Wilson: OK, so listen, we had cable and we were streaming. So we were doing both. were double dipping. And then because we both work from home, our internet package is like we could work from space, I'm pretty sure. Lisa Smith: Double dipping. Lisa Wilson: means whatever. have an insane connection. Like literally my connection is so fast that computer can't keep up with it. Like my husband knows what he's doing. But we went through it together and he's someone who's very, as you know, very frugal. But he's very like, like he spends money on the house. He spends money on those things. He does excellent trades. he, when we sat down and said, OK, if we cancel cable and if we Lisa Smith: does good trades Lisa Wilson: get right we noticed that there were all these fees that they were charging us ⁓ for stuff that we didn't ask for. Lisa Smith: do. It's a cable subscription fee, and then you get your bill, and it's $60 more a month or something. Lisa Wilson: I mean, these were the things like we just, when it's on autopay, don't. Girl, we saved $3,000. For the year. Lisa Smith: Yeah. Look at it. Like I don't, I mean, I guess if you add it up, I don't know what cable is even, how much it even is a month anymore. Cause I started streaming years ago. I never thought I could get rid of cable. I was like, I cannot do the streaming thing, but I couldn't go back to cable. So how much are you spending? Lisa Wilson: It was like $300 a month. Jeez. It was insane. It was an insane amount of money. It's just one of those things that, again, when you're not really paying attention, this stuff all just kind of creeps up on you. So we went through all of We canceled all of our cable. We streamed all of our internet. And then we looked at every other aspect of our life, like our car insurance, our home insurance, all the different things, and said, what do we need to take down so that we don't need Lisa Smith: Yeah. Lisa Wilson: worry if you're out for 30 days, 90 days, ⁓ 120 days. We just mapped it all out and we have trades that we're willing to make at each one of those things, but we still are going to take our big trip in December. These are all important to me. What else is important to me is Netflix. I'm not giving that up. Lisa Smith: Because that's important to you. ⁓ But with Netflix, don't they have like where you can't skip ads like unskippable ads or something there? Are they testing that or something? Lisa Wilson: I've heard the same thing in Netflix if you're listening. Stop being mean. We need that. I need Netflix. Lisa Smith: I too, but I did notice the other day when it came out of my account and maybe again, this is like what we were just talking about. When it's on autopay and it just automatically comes out of my account, sometimes I don't see it. I didn't realize, how is it like 20 bucks a month? I thought it was $9.99. Lisa Wilson: Are you getting the super ultra deluxe version of that? I don't just told Doug that I wasn't giving up Netflix. We can give up the Hallmark channel, we can give up all the other streaming things, but I'm keeping Acorn and I'm keeping Netflix. Lisa Smith: I don't blame you. What's acorn? Lisa Wilson: ⁓ my god, Acorn is the best. So Acorn is where, so we watch a lot of like, like comfort murder shows, meaning they're like, they're like, Are they comfortable? Yes, they're comfortable because we always find out who did it. Always the bad guy who goes to jail. So Midsomer Murders, we watch My Life is Murder, like all these shows that are New Zealand and Australian, well, they're all on Acorn and Irish. they're all, it's a whole, it's a whole. But this week I actually, and it's kind of, it does tie to our theme of like, you have to make trades, but they look different for everyone. So this week I dove headfirst into Should I Marry a Mur- Lisa Smith: That's a thing. Okay. ⁓ my gosh, saw that. Lisa, I saw that. I kind of couldn't believe it. And I was watching it and I'm not throwing shade. definitely don't want to knock down someone when they are down. I was really confused. I was really confused at, you know, like the thought processes that were going on of Lisa Wilson: I down women ever but how Lisa Smith: I mean, can I just like, kinda get over that he's like, killed someone? because I, I don't know if she was like, Lisa Wilson: So I think that sometimes we make decisions and trades that don't make us feel good because it's what we want. So in my and Should I Marry a Murderer? one, like I think that she was a little bit mentally unwell in the sheer number of selfies she was taking. Lisa Smith: Okay, explain that. The selfie, the Snapchat. She was like Snapchat vibes, like the little hearts and all the things. Lisa Wilson: Dog noses. Yeah, I have been married for 30 years and I don't have that many pictures of me and Doug She has been with this guy for three months and it's like they're full-time streaming I think ⁓ it's an age thing. I think that age is like really But like the first time that he told me that he had killed somebody Lisa Smith: See? Lisa Wilson: I would have been out. I would have been like, OK, I'm slowly backing up. I'm going to wait for you to fall asleep. And then I'm going to sneak the hell out of here. And I'm never coming back. But she was like, but I loved him. Yes. And I loved him. Lisa Smith: She was doubling down on that. Lisa Wilson: She and it was like, and then another thing would happen and she'd be like, but I loved him. But you know what else was like that this week? What? Was the worst ex ever. Lisa Smith: ⁓ OK. I'm concerned that there's like another season. That's what concerned me. Lisa Wilson: So, Sex Ever, season two came out this week and you and I talked a little bit about that. like, again, I think sometimes when we know, and it was present throughout every single one of these episodes, cause you guys look, I've had time on my hands, I've been watching a lot of Netflix and I've been under my heating blanket trying to figure out life and. I love Netflix for this reason. I don't have to worry about anything when I'm under my heating blanket watching people make terrible decisions. But every single episode had a theme. And I don't know if you caught on to it, but it was... It was perfect. He was the dream man. He was everything I thought I wanted in a person. And then he pinned me up against the wall and told me if I tried to leave he would kill me. Lisa Smith: I haven't watched them all. Yeah. Lisa Wilson: But then the next day he acted like nothing was wrong and I loved him. So I just thought maybe I needed to be better. I needed to work harder and there are... Lisa Smith: Thank like a real, which is a real thing. And I'm, I think that that's important too, like recognize like when you're in it, you don't see it that way. Yeah. When you're, when you're in, cause those are, those are not situations that, that like we're laughing at or anything like that. Absolutely not. It's, ⁓ but it's, it's real. Lisa Wilson: Absolutely not. It's about trading. they're trading the common sense of, am in danger. But we're so desperate for connection, and we're so desperate to be loved, that sometimes I think we make, I mean, in the case, listen, there was the hot guy. So the hot guy, and I don't know his name, and I'm not going to say his name because I don't want to give him Lisa Smith: Yeah. Yeah. don't even know his name, yeah. Lisa Wilson: We both talked about it because it was like, OK, he's convicted of murder twice. Each woman that he was with, he abused. The man that he was with, he abused. Each one of them in every scenario was like, but I loved him. And this is what, and I'm getting to a point, I promise. But they kept making excuses and saying, if this and that, if this and that. And none of those things were about reality. So I think in the fact that this man was convicted of two murders, well-documented domestic violence. He's in prison now and thousands of women are sending him money, paying for his commissary account, go to see him in person. So you guys, let's not make trades if we don't feel better about ourselves at the end, number one. that's a good point. And maybe we leave the murderer on the table. Lisa Smith: Which is alarming. Yeah. I think that's a great, a great suggestion. Lisa Wilson: Maybe. Like, I think we can take trading and saying that this, but I love him or I really, really want this. But if that really, really want this is heroin, leave it on the table. It's OK. If it's going to murder me, leave it on the table. Right. And it's so hard. don't think people. think somewhere along the way we've gotten so and we were talking about this, we've gotten so into what makes us feel good. Lisa Smith: Yeah Lisa Wilson: And we're so desperate for that feeling that it's just kind of gotten a little crazy. So this is a good way for you guys, think. If you're somebody who's out there, like, you're just trying to find those high fives and trying to understand what those trades look like for you, make sure, too, that you're watching Netflix, but you're not sending letters to What's His Name in Prison. Lisa Smith: Yeah, I think he's like the most ⁓ sought after prisoner or something like that. I don't remember what they said, but I think, women are willing to jump in. That's true. I we know that. Lisa Wilson: And from the, so, okay, so we know that from the dating detectives, we hear about it all over, right? And it's one of those things that we just need to like, okay, we need to figure out what makes us feel good without sacrificing our wellbeing. And like speaking of like what makes us feel good, a little bit of a rough transition, but we're there. What's the high five hunt for you this week? High five. Lisa Smith: Yeah. Right. Yeah. High five. Okay. So my high five, I arrived, like we don't live in the same city. ⁓ So I arrived yesterday and you have always been a very wonderful host. And I know if anybody listening that's ever stayed with you, you are a wonderful, wonderful host, you and your husband. And so I'm staying at your house. And I walked into my beautiful room. And there is just a wonderful card and a Turnrow candle. I was so excited. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Is this really a Turnrow candle? All my favorite smells. It's like orange and I think rosemary and geranium. I think it was geranium. Lisa Wilson: KATHRYN Lisa Smith: Packaging is so pretty. And I'm a candle girl. Candles are all over my house. I burn them all the time. You've talked about it so much. You've talked about how much you Marcy and everything. And so I have kind of just thought, OK, I'll order one one day. And I loved her episode and just really loved her story. Lisa Wilson: I love Turnrow candles. Definitely. She's a cool girl. Lisa Smith: And now I love the candle. Yeah. Like I'm in. Good. I can't wait to burn it when I get home. So that was my high five. Like I just, love, I love that you, you know, you're again, just thought of something personal to make someone else smile and I just love it. So thank you. That was my high five. Yeah. Lisa Wilson: High five. So my high five this week is, okay, listen, we've been talking a lot about signs from the universe. And this week I had something amazing happen. ⁓ I had used up my class pack. So the studio that I go to, the spin classes are $30 a session unless you buy five. And if you buy five, they're $25 a session. That's a big savings. So I was like, I've always bought the class pack. And this time I've been stalling, stalling, stalling because I didn't want to spend the money. And the studio even sent me an email. And they're like, we just want to make sure you're OK because you haven't bought. Lisa Smith: You haven't renewed your pack or whatever. Lisa Wilson: It's your last class. What's going on? And I was like, I don't want to tell them all my sad story. So I just ignored it. But I was like, OK, I've committed to this. I'm going because I need to go. nobody's telling me I can't. It's just I'm trying to make sure I'm being responsible. And I was like, OK, so I go onto the app. You guys, it is free spin class week. Lisa Smith: It's about response. Get out. Lisa Wilson: So it's like every class I booked, I booked a free class because they do this as a promotion to thank their members. Also, because during the summers, the class participation drops because people are out with vacations or out with their families. It's also EDC week, so electric dance carnival. That's a big thing. And so people are ⁓ out in the desert. They're not doing this thing. And so I got three free spin classes. Lisa Smith: ⁓ was just going to say. So Nice Lisa that's a value. It's five dollars. Yeah, that's a value add. Yeah Lisa Wilson: so excited. It was more like how it made me feel. I felt seen. The universe was like, hey, lady, I'm going to throw you a bone because things have been rough for you. And we're going to give you confirmation that you're doing the right thing. Lisa Smith: gonna throw you some I love it. Yeah. Fun. You're going to be like in your free spin classes. Lisa Wilson: excited. in my free spin classes, but it's like, and again, I love free spin classes, but it was more like the recognition that I needed it. And so I was like, okay, everybody that's out there that is like, feeling like they are screaming into the void, find that thing for you. Like send that text message, watch that stupid movie, read that trashy book. Like do something for yourself that makes you feel seen and really. Lisa Smith: Yeah, like Lisa Wilson: grounds you and who you are. And we've been, I mean, you guys, are going to have, we are talking about gobs of different things that we're going to be coming with every single week. But it keeps coming back to like, don't let the day to day stuff just make you not celebrate those tiny wins. Take the vacation, buy the chips, just get them at the dollar store. Sign up for the spin class, just don't get a blowout. Lisa Smith: Yeah. Take the vacation. Yeah. Lisa Wilson: Right? And it looks different for every. And I keep repeating this, but it's so true. It looks different for all of us. And no one's judging you. No one's saying, OK, you're someone who goes to the dollar store every day. We're not saying that that's crazy. We're just saying that's not who we were six months ago. That's who we are today. ⁓ And that's my growth. In a hard season, this is the difference that I see in my life. And this is how I look and feel differently. Lisa Smith: Absolutely not. Lisa Wilson: And I still laugh. I have to share this conversation. And I've been told to stop going on my own. So I'm going to do my best. But I think that it's really a profound moment. So I found out that my friend, my very close friend, her dog passed away in the middle of the night. And we're all just like, ⁓ my god, it's terrible. And I was texting my friend. I was texting Hillary. And I was like, Hillary, our friend's dog passed away in the middle of the night. And I've got to go shoot a podcast about being happy. I'll cry later. What do you do? I've got to do this. It's her commitment. And I wanted to do this. But it's like, how do you pull yourself up? And she literally sends me a text message. And she's like, I have spent the past entire 24 hours. doing shit I did not want to do that I had to do that was hard. was physically exhausting. She goes, I sat in the car and I cried for a half an hour. And then I went and picked up my kids and life continues. Lisa Smith: How many times have we probably done that in the last whatever? And I'm sorry to hear that somebody else is going through it as well. But it's very normal thing. And I think also growing up like Gen X, we just pushed it aside. And we had to carry on. It was kind of just move on. Lisa Wilson: a lot of times. It was, I mean, it was suck it up. And we were expected to handle everything to get it done. And I think that this is just our way of getting it done, right? Is that we have this podcast where we try to leave the world better than we found it. We try to find the high fives when it literally feels like there is like the weeks that you have to stop and think, like, what is going right for me this week? Lisa Smith: Suck it up. Yeah, I think that's it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Lisa Wilson: Right? That is where we are right now. And I think that we have to hold on to the things that really ground us and make us feel like ourselves and make us feel human and happy and light up the happiness parts of our brains as well. And I think everybody out there is feeling the same way. Lisa Smith: Yeah. I mean, I think so too. And I think we just need to remember that, again, this is about making sure that you're doing what resonates with you, that makes you feel better. Leave what doesn't. Lisa Wilson: And if your dad is a murderer, go get some therapy. You guys, I'm sorry. Like, listen. Who is sending this murderer money? Lisa Smith: Like who's waiting in line to- Lisa Wilson: Go and see this guy be his girlfriend. He hits like, OK, look, I'm not going to go on a tangent. There are domestic violence hotlines. If you are one of those people, please make sure that you call them. And if you are someone that is trading out your own safety for something, get some therapy. Think about that. But for us, it's a lot lighter. We are just trying to make our own laundry detergent. We're trying to get our Lisa Smith: Even the Tide Pods at Target and you know, it really was. Lisa Wilson: painful as that was. like you also gave laundry detergent as gifts this week. Really nice. Lisa Smith: I did, I did. did because I mean there's there's some people that are also going through the same thing of just kind of like you know it's just I mean times are just different right now and so yeah I did I gifted it and gifted away and it was really great so ⁓ well if if this episode ⁓ landed with you yeah then share it with a friend yep on Apple ⁓ YouTube, Spotify. Lisa Wilson: If you are watching us, if you are one of the very few that watched the episode, love the space. Let us know what you think. Also, make sure you hit subscribe. So you guys, that's how our show grows. And I know that everyone is like, I don't want to comment because nobody else has commented. It helps us a lot. you guys comment on Instagram, comment in YouTube, comment on Apple, like the podcast and share it. And that's how we keep coming back. And you guys, your feedback helps make this better. Right? Like, we hear from you. Like, everyone's got an opinion. We love that. Yeah. We want to hear about it. Lisa Smith: Absolutely. So for this week, you know, you got to drink your water. Lisa Wilson: Roll your shoulders back. Unclench your jaw. And bye. Lisa Smith: And go have a great week. Bye guys. Bye.