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Who Is the Good Cop? Surviving Parenting and Partner Disagreements · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:01
  Speaker A: Hello.
• 0:02
  Speaker B: You guys, stop. Isn't Mama Clock yet? I'm going crazy.
• 0:08
  Speaker A: Heck yeah, it's Mama Clock somewhere. So. I can't believe we're back. Another day of Mama Clock. We're so happy to have you just
• 0:22
  Speaker B: hear your pink starburst, girly.
• 0:26
  Speaker A: Can we get a close up of Emily eating a pink starburst?
• 0:29
  Speaker B: I love pink starbursts.
• 0:31
  Speaker A: People are coming in here eating these.
• 0:32
  Speaker B: I am a pink starburst today.
• 0:34
  Speaker A: You are.
• 0:34
  Speaker B: That's how I feel today.
• 0:35
  Speaker A: What am I?
• 0:35
  Speaker B: I'm pinky.
• 0:36
  Speaker A: I'm a black jelly bean.
• 0:38
  Speaker B: You look depressed. I'm happy.
• 0:39
  Speaker A: I know. That makes sense.
• 0:42
  Speaker B: How are you doing?
• 0:43
  Speaker A: I'm doing good.
• 0:44
  Speaker B: Are you?
• 0:44
  Speaker A: I'm better. I get over things quickly.
• 0:46
  Speaker B: That's good. I'm not well.
• 0:48
  Speaker A: You're not well? Why?
• 0:49
  Speaker B: No, because our husbands last night.
• 0:52
  Speaker A: Let me just start before we listen. We don't need intros because we just fucking come in hot with Mama Clau.
• 0:57
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 0:58
  Speaker A: Let me just start by saying one thing. Last night, I hosted Taco Tuesday. Last night. With my bestie and her kids and my family because it was my dog's third birthday. Happy birthday, Bailey. We love you. And we had a fun time. I cooked, we did the thing, we had dessert, yada, yada yada. Everybody leaves all of a sudden. No, we don't leave, actually. We all go upstairs in my two by two tub and they put four kids in there and they all took
• 1:24
  Speaker B: a bath, runs upstairs and goes, we're going to Home Depot.
• 1:28
  Speaker A: I go, I'm Pretty sure it's 9 o' clock at night. What are you doing at Home Depot?
• 1:31
  Speaker B: Meanwhile, we have all four kids in the bath.
• 1:34
  Speaker A: My house isn't that big, okay? They're causing chaos. I'm like, I have anxiety. I need to go to bed right now. My son's gonna be up till. You know. The problem is, I don't care that you're there. I just know my son's not going to bed till 11 o' clock at night.
• 1:46
  Speaker B: Yeah. And? And I want to go home.
• 1:48
  Speaker A: And I want to go home. So goes to Home Depot me. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? So they go, they come back, she already leaves. When they come back, all of a sudden, my husband and her husband walk in with two long things of wood.
• 2:00
  Speaker B: Wood panels.
• 2:01
  Speaker A: Of wood panels. And I go, it's 10 o' clock at night. What are you doing? Then your husband comes in with two guns. And not gun guns, like power guns, tools, Home Depot. Literally a pad and a pen. Tool behind his ear, construction man. And my husband's just like following him behind him. I go, what?
• 2:20
  Speaker B: Your husband's following him with his iPad?
• 2:22
  Speaker A: Yeah. I go, what the fuck are you doing? They go outside on my patio. Now, mind you, my son is a 2 year old. He goes to bed at 7:30. Okay, it's 9:30, pushing 10. No, it was like, bring him into his bedroom.
• 2:35
  Speaker B: I was texting you, saying, did he leave yet? Also, I already put all the fucking kids to bed by myself.
• 2:40
  Speaker A: Did not leave. Your husband just walked in with a pencil behind his ear is what I said. So now it's my son's window and then the deck is right there. All of a sudden I hear and I'm like, what in God's name are they doing? They're fucking sawing wood at 10 o' clock at night outside my son's window.
• 2:56
  Speaker B: What were they doing?
• 2:56
  Speaker A: I have no idea.
• 2:57
  Speaker B: What possessed them to do this at 10 o' clock at night?
• 3:00
  Speaker A: No idea. So I walk out into my patio this morning, there's all wood shavings, and I'm like, what, did you guys build a house last night? I was so.
• 3:06
  Speaker B: I hope it was a good addition.
• 3:08
  Speaker A: No, it better have been a good addition. I was so mad at my husband last night. Don't even look at me. Gio didn't go to bed till 11 o' clock at night because he wouldn't sleep because he was going, what's that? I'm like, just your dumb dad sewing, sewing, sewing wood outside your window. I mean, like, are we kidding?
• 3:25
  Speaker B: No.
• 3:25
  Speaker A: Like, I'm not. I'm not a husband hater. I love my husband. I love yours too, but they're fucking dumb men.
• 3:32
  Speaker B: Stupid. Then my husband comes home.
• 3:35
  Speaker A: Oh yeah, Tell me what your scene was like when he walked in.
• 3:37
  Speaker B: Well, I put all the kids to bed.
• 3:38
  Speaker A: Did you flip out? You're not a flipper outer.
• 3:40
  Speaker B: No, I'm in my bed having a stomach ache from the tacos you made.
• 3:44
  Speaker A: Now the sour cream. You wait because you're lactose intolerant.
• 3:47
  Speaker B: Literally blowing up the room. My husband walks in, he's like, oh, I thought I was gonna get laid, but oh my God, it stinks in here.
• 3:54
  Speaker A: I can explain to you how much I ski that. Like the follicles of your farts in the air. Like, he's like, I can't see it. He walks into like a perfume of fart air so bad. Like, stop eating shit that makes you sick.
• 4:12
  Speaker B: You're lactose and lactose intolerant. But like, all the good food has
• 4:15
  Speaker A: sour cream, is so good.
• 4:17
  Speaker B: And how could you have tacos without sour cream?
• 4:19
  Speaker A: Can't.
• 4:19
  Speaker B: But I was hurting. It's fine. We're all fine.
• 4:22
  Speaker A: So didn't get laid.
• 4:23
  Speaker B: Did not get laid.
• 4:25
  Speaker A: And were you annoyed that he just, like, walked in after bedtime?
• 4:29
  Speaker B: Yeah, but, like, it was fine. I was watching my show and I could not be bothered.
• 4:33
  Speaker A: So you're just like, the type.
• 4:34
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 4:35
  Speaker A: And then we'll get into our actual episode. Yeah, you're just like the type that, like, you rather not be bothered, just be gone.
• 4:40
  Speaker B: It's just like, I don't have the energy. Energy.
• 4:42
  Speaker A: Yeah. Honestly, I'll get there.
• 4:43
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 4:44
  Speaker A: But, I mean, I don't want, like, them sawing wood outside of my house.
• 4:47
  Speaker B: Yeah. I'm also 21 years in.
• 4:48
  Speaker A: You're also 21 years in. Yeah, that's true. All right, well, anyway, what the helly are we talking about?
• 4:53
  Speaker B: We're talking about discipline. Like, our husband should have been in the principal's office last night. And this episode, we are talking about how you parent and how you discipline. If you. If you're more strict than your husband, if you're less strict than your partner, how it's going.
• 5:10
  Speaker A: Yeah. Discipline is crazy. I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me what. What parent you think I am. You're also around me often, so you
• 5:16
  Speaker B: might know, but you, like. I feel like you're, like, a. Yeah. You, like, will yell, but it's like a fake yell. Like, you're, like. You're like, a mean yell. And then, like. But you're just kind of kidding around.
• 5:25
  Speaker A: Like. Like, my son laughs at me when I.
• 5:27
  Speaker B: Right. Like, you'll be more stern. I don't know.
• 5:31
  Speaker A: This is how I do.
• 5:31
  Speaker B: I think it. Yeah, do it.
• 5:33
  Speaker A: I'd be like, dude, like, you're not gonna put soap in your mouth and swallow it. Like, we're not gonna do that. Yeah, that's how I yell.
• 5:40
  Speaker B: Yeah. I'll be like, don't shove the clicker up your butt again. Stop doing that.
• 5:47
  Speaker A: No. Yeah.
• 5:48
  Speaker B: Yeah. And my kids laugh at me, too, so. But it is a problem. I have to say. I'm having an issue.
• 5:54
  Speaker A: You're more lenient in the yelling, though.
• 5:56
  Speaker B: I'm more lenient.
• 5:57
  Speaker A: Like, I yell quicker where you don't yell.
• 5:59
  Speaker B: As a lot of patience I have. I have patience of a saint.
• 6:02
  Speaker A: You do. A patience of a saint.
• 6:04
  Speaker B: But it is. It is getting to be a problem. I can see it's trending in the direction of you're Getting fucking pissed off of divorce.
• 6:13
  Speaker A: The D word.
• 6:15
  Speaker B: So wait, can we just talk about divorce for one second?
• 6:18
  Speaker A: No, I don't want to talk about divorce.
• 6:19
  Speaker B: All the moms that have watched off campus.
• 6:21
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 6:22
  Speaker B: The 30 divorcing their moms are divorcing their husbands. Same because like Garrett Graham is just on screen. But okay, that's another.
• 6:30
  Speaker A: I was going to say something, but we can't say it out another episode.
• 6:33
  Speaker B: Okay, sorry. I got sidetracked cuz I started thinking about Garrett.
• 6:37
  Speaker A: Do you think he would like me or you?
• 6:40
  Speaker B: Probably you.
• 6:41
  Speaker A: I feel like you.
• 6:42
  Speaker B: I don't care. I would want the. I would want the roommate.
• 6:45
  Speaker A: The girl?
• 6:45
  Speaker B: No, the roommate. The. The boy.
• 6:49
  Speaker A: Dean.
• 6:49
  Speaker B: Dean.
• 6:50
  Speaker A: He's hot.
• 6:51
  Speaker B: He's really hot.
• 6:52
  Speaker A: All right, can we focus though?
• 6:52
  Speaker B: Yeah, focus.
• 6:53
  Speaker A: Okay. So discipline. So I look at you.
• 6:57
  Speaker B: Yeah, don't look at me.
• 6:59
  Speaker A: When I look at you don't. I just see like you're just too busy in the amount of kids you have to just like discipline.
• 7:07
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 7:07
  Speaker A: But you also aren't a discipliner. You kind of just let. So I think that's why it falls on your husband.
• 7:12
  Speaker B: So I disagree because I am with my kids 247 and I scream and I yell and when it is necessary for a timeout or takeaway points or whatever kind of behavioral thing I'm doing, I am strict with it and I am doing it. I just don't think that people see it because I'm alone with my kids a lot.
• 7:32
  Speaker A: Right, true. Which is no one sees anything you do.
• 7:34
  Speaker B: Right. It's like, yeah, but my problem that I'm having is I will do what I'm doing all day with my kids and my husband will come home and I'll call him throughout the day and I'll tell him what went down and then he'll re. Yell at them and redo it. And like we're fine. We're five light years away from whenever I yelled at them at 5am like, don't re. Yell at them because like they forgot about it. I forgot about it. And I don't want to get really mad about it. Like. Like that's my problem. I'm having. I think now that my kids are baby. Like they're still young, but like when they're older, I think it's going to be an issue. Like obviously dad comes home from work, so he does want to talk to them about their behaviors, which he should. But it's about us being really united about it and like not slipping. Like I could see myself being like, okay, I won't tell Daddy. Which I really don't want to do because I want to be a united front. Like, even this is. This just happened. Yesterday. My son did something. It was something stupid. Oh. He was trading Pokemon cards with the neighbors and I. He was at my house and they're into Pokemon cards. He has Joe's old binder. So he has all the old Pokemon cards. And. And I see them and they're in the basement. And I'm watching them on the camera. And the kid he's trading the Pokemon cards with is a little bit older, so he knows how to take advantage of like a 5 year old. So I'm watching them and they make a trade. And then the kid's like, but you also have to give me five bucks. So Joe goes upstairs and gets his wallet. And I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, I owe so and so $5. I go, no, you just made a trade. A trade is a trade. You don't owe money also. And he's like, no, mom, like, I told him so. And I was like, no. And I was like, he's not shaming
• 9:13
  Speaker A: your son for five bucks.
• 9:14
  Speaker B: No, he is. So. He was like, don't tell Daddy. I'm like, first of all, Daddy and I don't keep secrets from each other. But you have to know, like, you're younger and older kids will do that. Like, it's like a lesson learned. Like, yeah, first of all, a trade is a one to one thing. You don't add money or tell me
• 9:32
  Speaker A: he gave him the $5.
• 9:33
  Speaker B: No, I wouldn't let him. So, like, but like, if I wasn't there being a helicopter mom watching the camera and seeing that thing, like, he would have given the $5. And then, first of all, where's his.
• 9:41
  Speaker A: Why does have a wallet with money in it?
• 9:42
  Speaker B: He has a wallet with money.
• 9:44
  Speaker A: That's insane.
• 9:45
  Speaker B: Please. He has more money than me. Okay? Literally, you don't have money in your wallet. I have zero money. Negative, negative. But so, yeah, so like, that specific example was like, so I would tell Joe about it and then Joe would yell at him.
• 9:59
  Speaker A: Did you tell Joe about it?
• 10:01
  Speaker B: Yes, but like, I told him, like, Joe Joey actually said, like, don't tell Daddy. And like, that's where I don't want it to happen. It's like, don't tell Daddy because I don't want to get, like, what you said, though.
• 10:10
  Speaker A: You're like, we don't keep secret.
• 10:11
  Speaker B: We don't keep. That's a good thing. To say, but also, like, I could see in like 10, 15 years, like, Vienna, like, wanting to go somewhere and being like. And knowing that my husband's going to be a lot more strict and being like, don't tell daddy that. I just went to like, JT. I'm like, JJ's house made up a name.
• 10:27
  Speaker A: A four year old has a boyfriend. So this is my thing. And I'm going to interrupt you because I like what you said about the secret thing. That's a really good thing to say. But I think it depends. Like a girl to their mom, like. But if you're hesitant about something, like, in your gut, then I think it's like pulling daddy. But I think if it's like worse if you say it, you might as well. Serious.
• 10:48
  Speaker B: It is. Like, if we're talking about something like, not like, you'll know, you'll know, but
• 10:52
  Speaker A: I agree with you.
• 10:53
  Speaker B: And I also do think it's, like, good for your children to, like, value the relationship that you have with your mom and with your dad. So it's like, you know, you can get away with certain things.
• 11:03
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 11:03
  Speaker B: Cheers. Oh, God, this is embarrassing. Actually, it's embarrassing that you copied the
• 11:09
  Speaker A: exact one I had. But I. Wow. Okay.
• 11:13
  Speaker B: I think as the kids get older, like now it's like little things, like, for example, big kid stealing money from your kid. Right? But like, Vienna and Rocco, almost three year old and four year old, they were in the bath and they just took their buckets of water and dumped all the water from the bath, a full bath, out onto the bathroom floor. So that created a puddle of this much water which leaked down. Why are we laundry room. Because they're babies and they don't. And I wasn't watching them, so they did that.
• 11:44
  Speaker A: So you're not a good mom and they're being crazy.
• 11:46
  Speaker B: So they. So my entire bathroom was flooded, and then it seeped down through the vent or something and my laundry room flooded. And I'm like, oh, my God, Joe's gonna kill.
• 11:56
  Speaker A: Joe's gonna kill you.
• 11:57
  Speaker B: Joe's gonna kill me. So, like, at that point I'm like, okay, like, how do we hide this from Daddy? Like, I don't want to get in trouble for this. Like, I'm not going down because you.
• 12:05
  Speaker A: Yeah, seriously. So that's another thing. But then another situation is like, I want my husband to know that I'm suffering. So sometimes I'll be like, your son just punched me in the eye with a remote.
• 12:15
  Speaker B: Right?
• 12:16
  Speaker A: Like, do something. Like, sometimes I'm there too.
• 12:18
  Speaker B: Yeah. And then I'm there and it's like the hottest thing in the world. When he's like, you don't talk like that to your mother.
• 12:23
  Speaker A: I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm not sitting down. Like, who, me? Who, little man?
• 12:28
  Speaker B: But it is. There's like a. It's hard to juggle discipline when. When you're on. In my case, opposite ends of the spectrum. Like, my husband is very strict, very stern, very scary. I'm like, very loose, very, like, go with the flow.
• 12:43
  Speaker A: They get away with more things.
• 12:43
  Speaker B: They could probably get away with more things, but I do want to come in the middle because I want to raise them right and I want to be able. I want them to respect me but also fear me a little bit, which they absolutely don't like, not even a little. They will walk on me.
• 12:57
  Speaker A: No, I'd step on you and you'll be like, it's okay, I'm fine. So here's my thing. I feel like I'm dealing with. With my two year old. I. So I kind of feel like I use my husband as a threat. Like, so bedtime. He wants to be with me. When he gets put to bed, I want mommy, okay, Mommy puts you to bed. But it's harder for him to fall asleep because he thinks I'm like, playing with him. Like 10 o' clock at night, we're going to bed. So I'll be like, oh, daddy's coming in here, you better go. So he'll be like, he'll like, fall asleep. So I kind of use. I do that threat all the time. I use daddy the worst. But also now I'm at this stage where my husband's pissing me off because I'll yell. But, like, like you said, dead and gone. The day's over five light years away, we're done. He'll come in and like, actually yell at the same thing, right? I can't. Like, he's just gonna do it again. Just leave him alone. Like, I'm there now. I'm telling my husband to stop yelling at my kid. But I want to be in the middle too. I want to. How do you do that? Besides saying, like, we don't keep secrets from each other. We, Daddy and I talk like, I want everyone to know we're equal.
• 13:57
  Speaker B: And I think the worst thing you can do is, like, in front of your kid, go against your husband. Like, you could do it behind closed doors. Like, be like, so what's an example
• 14:09
  Speaker A: of going against your husband in person? He could do that.
• 14:12
  Speaker B: He's allowed to do that. I already told him he could do that. Like, that. So then it's like. And kids are like spies. They, like find the loophole. They're like, okay, so Mommy said we could do that. So we're gonna do that. And if daddy's not here, then we can do that. Like, my kids do that all the time. They're like, oh, daddy's not here, so now we can jump on the bed.
• 14:27
  Speaker A: I definitely had that growing up. Like, I definitely was more afraid of my dad in certain situations. So, like, I would ask mommy.
• 14:33
  Speaker B: Yeah. But I think that's normal. And especially it's like if you're the default parent, you're with them all the time. It's like you can get away with more shit just because we are tired moms, we're tired.
• 14:44
  Speaker A: We have to pick our ice pop at the wall. I don't give a fuck.
• 14:47
  Speaker B: Eat the ice pop before 7am I
• 14:49
  Speaker A: don't literally don't care.
• 14:50
  Speaker B: Just don't bother me.
• 14:51
  Speaker A: Like, Michael definitely follows my lead. But Michael's been a little bit more impatient lately because he's in this terrible twos right now. He's just being the craziest. I mean, the hitting and the throwing is something I don't stand for. So I think I get a little bit more aggressive. But Michael really does, like eating with us at dinner, like Michael's and eating in general. Like, Michael's crazy about me. I'm kind of like, hun. If he's not gonna eat and he's just gonna sit and watch tv.
• 15:16
  Speaker B: I have to say, last night you were. She let my children.
• 15:19
  Speaker A: Did you hear what I said though? I was like her white carpet.
• 15:22
  Speaker B: Yeah, I did. I mean, she pulled the kid table into her living room and was like, here, kids have at it. And like, dumb.
• 15:28
  Speaker A: I know.
• 15:29
  Speaker B: You just, you just like, you just let animals out into the.
• 15:32
  Speaker A: I know what I did. I did. Why did I do that?
• 15:34
  Speaker B: I mean, I didn't get.
• 15:35
  Speaker A: This is literally what my rug.
• 15:36
  Speaker B: I was like, this was a rug my kids were eating. And. And.
• 15:41
  Speaker A: But I feel like they have to learn, like, just don't be messy.
• 15:43
  Speaker B: So that's. That's what.
• 15:45
  Speaker A: That was my motto. Like, I just was like, don't be messy. But I just feel like discipline is so hard. Like, what do we do? So. So we're at. We're at the toddler stage, right? Like, we're doing the whole like, stop fucking throwing shit at the wall type of thing. Now what do we do when they're 18, 19. And. And they're doing drugs and drinking alcohol. No, they ain't. I'm just giving examples. This won't be my kid. But, like. And you have to have a sit down with your husband.
• 16:11
  Speaker B: You're kidding me. Gio and Rocco are going to sneak out. They're going to the Jersey shore, and they will be at the bar at
• 16:18
  Speaker A: 17 years old, slinging around in their yin yangs. No, I'm coming. See you slinging around your yin yang. I'm slinging around my ting tong. We're going together.
• 16:28
  Speaker B: Piercings and we're coming together.
• 16:31
  Speaker A: Like, I will just be around. I'll just be with my kid.
• 16:33
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 16:34
  Speaker A: I want to be so fun. I'm going to be with them, but this is where I'm at. So discipline at an older age. Like, what do we do when we have to have a conversation? Like, then it gets hard with you and your husband.
• 16:42
  Speaker B: Yeah, But I think what we actually have to do is back each other up in the moment and talk.
• 16:47
  Speaker A: That's my biggest pet peeve.
• 16:48
  Speaker B: Separate.
• 16:49
  Speaker A: You have to be on the same
• 16:51
  Speaker B: page in the moment.
• 16:52
  Speaker A: In the moment. You have to.
• 16:53
  Speaker B: Yeah, you have to find closed doors.
• 16:55
  Speaker A: You can be like, okay, well, hon, I don't think it's that bad that he did this. I don't even think I know how to discipline. What is discipline? Am I supposed to put him in a corner?
• 17:02
  Speaker B: I think that as. As your kids get older, you have to have, like, non negotiables that, like, you and your husband are on the exact same page. If your kid does this, then this is what's happening. Like, from me and my husband, if our kids lie, like, oh, I don't do liars. We're not doing liars. So, like, our kids, like three, four, or five, they start to get, like, a little, like, manipulative. And like, once you don't be fibbing around. No, don't be fibbing. So, like, you have to, like, catch it, do what kind of discipline you're gonna do and be together, be united about it. And. And I think that will, like, set them up.
• 17:33
  Speaker A: Sometimes I let success. Sometimes I let my husband do the disciplining, though. Do you ever do that? Like, sit back? Because I'm just like, well, I'm gonna yell at you. Told. And I'll be like, told you.
• 17:44
  Speaker B: So I've done that before. I mean, 100%. Does it work? No. The thing that happens with, in our family is if Joe is doing the disciplining, let's just say for Example, it's to my 5 year old and Joey, my husband Joe, will tell him to go into his room and shut the door. And then what happens is Joey, the five year old just screams, mommy, Mommy, can I come out yet? So it's like, to release. So but like, but then I'm looking at Joe and like, it's been five minutes, right? And I'm like, are you gonna go in there? And he's like, no. And I'm like, well, then I have to go.
• 18:21
  Speaker A: I am like, but now you have to go in.
• 18:24
  Speaker B: But like, I stopped myself. Like, I don't want to. Because if. If you are doing the discipline you are, you are doing the committing from top to bottom. Yeah. You need to also let them.
• 18:33
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. That's another thing. Like, don't discipline. And then now it's on me, right?
• 18:37
  Speaker B: It's like a bad cop, good cop. It's hard. It's really hard.
• 18:39
  Speaker A: But I do feel like my husband is the bad cop and I definitely am the good cop. But I also, I just, like, I'm at a place where, like, I generally don't think I have, like, strict rules.
• 18:49
  Speaker B: I think you don't need to yet because, like, I'm happy to hear that it comes. I think it comes when they start, like, if they get in trouble at school or like, something like that happens
• 18:57
  Speaker A: if someone else is in play.
• 18:59
  Speaker B: Yeah. Because like, in your own home it's like, okay, like I always say, but
• 19:03
  Speaker A: you don't have to create boundaries at home.
• 19:05
  Speaker B: Because then my thing is what's happening, I think. So in your household, you can have like, specific rules. Right. Like, I know people who have like an eye for an eye. So like, if your kid hits a sibling, then the sibling can hit back. Right? That could be a thing.
• 19:23
  Speaker A: I think that's my thing.
• 19:24
  Speaker B: Right, that could be your thing. But then it's like, how do you teach? Like, two wrongs don't make a right. So like, Rocco hits Joey, and then if your thing is an eye for an eye, Joey hits Rocco. I'm like, but my thing is like, two wrongs don't make a right. Like, you can't. You can't just keep hitting each other back and forth. So it's like really hard to like, my husband would probably say an eye for an eye. And I would say two wrongs to make it right. So how do you make that work?
• 19:45
  Speaker A: So I feel like if I had to answer that, I would feel like it depends on the situation.
• 19:51
  Speaker B: Right. I mean, everything.
• 19:52
  Speaker A: If someone's like, Bullying you, so to speak, and just like pushing and shoving you to get you out of your seat. Yeah, push him back. But if it's throwing a remote at someone's head, you don't throw a remote back.
• 20:05
  Speaker B: Say that. But like at school. So this is a perfect example. Joey came home from school yesterday and he said so? And so hit him. Just like took a Jagger to the throat like this. And I was like, well, did you do anything to him, like, first? And he was like, no, he just came up and hit me. And I. So like my husband, who would say he doesn't want to raise a wussy.
• 20:25
  Speaker A: Punch him right in the fucking stomach.
• 20:26
  Speaker B: Punch him back. But like, you can't just do that at school.
• 20:28
  Speaker A: Oh, you can.
• 20:29
  Speaker B: No, you can't.
• 20:30
  Speaker A: You can. And he will.
• 20:32
  Speaker B: At a preschool, you can't just hit for hit because why did he full on fucking wrestling?
• 20:37
  Speaker A: So if I was called into the principal's office as a mother and said, johnny hit Gio in the throat and Gio hit him back good is what I would say. Okay, and what would you say?
• 20:48
  Speaker B: I would tell Joey, we don't use our hands and we need to tell
• 20:52
  Speaker A: you, we don't use our hands, we use our feet. Just fucking kick him. No, I'm saying. And you know, you know I'm like this. My friends will attest to this. Like, I'm guilty. No, but I'm. I'm a fighter. But I'm guilty until proven innocent. Right, so did you do something wrong? Then he hit you. So what are you gonna do about it? But my problem is if he hit you for no reason, just like a fucking to the throat, knock him the fuck out. Are you kidding me?
• 21:15
  Speaker B: It is easier said than done. And I would love to say that if it was on my turf.
• 21:18
  Speaker A: Or I'll go to their parents house and knock him the fuck out.
• 21:19
  Speaker B: If it's on my turf, fine. But if it's at school, I think you need to be more appropriate. That's just my thing.
• 21:24
  Speaker A: So tell that kid's parents to tell his fucking Johnny Joe to be more appropriate.
• 21:29
  Speaker B: I mean, yeah, but then that's the other thing. Like, I don't wanna talk to any parents. I don't wanna. I know that fucking mom. I hate that fucking mom. I don't wanna talk to that f.
• 21:38
  Speaker A: Well, we're at a loss here. So my kid's sitting back and your kid is like, I can't use my hands, I have to use my feet.
• 21:45
  Speaker B: And then it's just like elbows, all right? A rapid firing. Would you discipline for this? Okay.
• 21:50
  Speaker A: Okay, go.
• 21:51
  Speaker B: Your kid colors all over the wall.
• 21:53
  Speaker A: Oh, fuck. No. Disciplined.
• 21:54
  Speaker B: What are you gonna do?
• 21:55
  Speaker A: What am I gonna do? Yeah, Clean it. And then I'm gonna take away all his crayons.
• 22:02
  Speaker B: All of them. Gone.
• 22:03
  Speaker A: Gone.
• 22:04
  Speaker B: Throw them out.
• 22:04
  Speaker A: Throwing them out.
• 22:05
  Speaker B: No more crafts at the house.
• 22:06
  Speaker A: No more.
• 22:06
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 22:07
  Speaker A: I'm a one and done. There's no chances in my head.
• 22:09
  Speaker B: Okay. Your kid says a bad word at preschool.
• 22:12
  Speaker A: Why did you say a bad word?
• 22:14
  Speaker B: Cuz, Mommy, you say bad words.
• 22:15
  Speaker A: You cannot say what mommy says in preschool.
• 22:19
  Speaker B: But mommy, I want to be just like you.
• 22:20
  Speaker A: I don't give a. You're not cursing at preschool. You know what's going to happen? Your teachers are going to kick you out of school. You're never going to be able to go back.
• 22:26
  Speaker B: But mommy, you're so pretty.
• 22:28
  Speaker A: All right, you get.
• 22:34
  Speaker B: Your kid throws nuggets. You just cooked dinner. Throws nuggets across the entire.
• 22:41
  Speaker A: Not eating for the rest of the week.
• 22:45
  Speaker B: Okay. Takes your brand new oala and flushes it down the toilet.
• 22:54
  Speaker A: It won't fit.
• 22:55
  Speaker B: Tries to.
• 22:57
  Speaker A: Oh, I'm throwing it out. But I don't think I would discipline. I would just be like, why would you do that? And I would just throw the owal out.
• 23:02
  Speaker B: Okay, all right, fair. You need behavior help.
• 23:07
  Speaker A: I don't know how to discipline. My kid is where we're at.
• 23:09
  Speaker B: No, but I was talking to my girlfriend. She has literally a five month old and she's like, my husband and I were gonna have problems. We're gonna have problems.
• 23:16
  Speaker A: 5 month old.
• 23:17
  Speaker B: I won't even like open his eyes. She's like, we're just not on the same wavelength with discipline. I go, what'd your five month old do?
• 23:26
  Speaker A: What can your five month old possibly do?
• 23:28
  Speaker B: Did she. Her pants wrong.
• 23:30
  Speaker A: God forbid. You gave her a formula and she. Her pants.
• 23:33
  Speaker B: She's like, no, he's just like. He lets her do whatever she wants.
• 23:37
  Speaker A: She's five months. She can't. She doesn't even know where her toenails are. You're.
• 23:42
  Speaker B: But like, it's just funny because you can't. So she's. They have two dogs too. So she's like. But I know how he is with the dogs. He lets the dogs do whatever.
• 23:50
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 23:50
  Speaker B: They want. So like you could kind of see your dog mom. Like how your husband or partner is with an animal, would you say is how they would be with a kid?
• 23:59
  Speaker A: Yeah, they're kind of. It's kind of the same. So I mean, five month Old is crazy.
• 24:03
  Speaker B: I know that. I'm just saying. That's an example.
• 24:05
  Speaker A: So wait, let me ask you.
• 24:06
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:08
  Speaker A: Your kid is at someone else's house.
• 24:11
  Speaker B: Okay. And
• 24:14
  Speaker A: takes all their towels down from the linen closet.
• 24:17
  Speaker B: Oh, at someone else's house. I'm mortified. I'm dead. I'm.
• 24:19
  Speaker A: What do you do?
• 24:20
  Speaker B: I'm going to home.
• 24:22
  Speaker A: You're not disciplined, you're just going home.
• 24:23
  Speaker B: No, I'm gonna make them fold the things up. I'll help them fold. Put them away and we're leaving.
• 24:29
  Speaker A: That's a good. That's good. I like that. Your kid.
• 24:32
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:33
  Speaker A: At home. Throws a remote at the tv.
• 24:36
  Speaker B: Does it break? The TV breaks.
• 24:40
  Speaker A: Shatters. Broken. Needs a new tv.
• 24:42
  Speaker B: We're running.
• 24:43
  Speaker A: We're running. We're not displaying. We're just.
• 24:44
  Speaker B: We're just running away from my husband.
• 24:46
  Speaker A: Okay, we're running away from your husband. No. Disappointing. Got it. Your five year old says, f you, mom curses.
• 24:57
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 24:57
  Speaker A: Towards you because you won't let him play video games.
• 25:01
  Speaker B: You're going in. Time out.
• 25:02
  Speaker A: Prison.
• 25:03
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 25:03
  Speaker A: You're in prison. Cops are coming to the house.
• 25:06
  Speaker B: I'd say cops are coming way too often. It's so bad because now cops are like, scary. But cops shouldn't be scary.
• 25:11
  Speaker A: They shouldn't be scary.
• 25:12
  Speaker B: Cops help us.
• 25:12
  Speaker A: They help us. Cops help us.
• 25:13
  Speaker B: Cops are good. Cops are great. Handcuffs are sexy. But like. But like, they're scared of cops.
• 25:21
  Speaker A: I know.
• 25:21
  Speaker B: And I did it to myself.
• 25:23
  Speaker A: And now you're screwed.
• 25:24
  Speaker B: Right?
• 25:24
  Speaker A: But they.
• 25:25
  Speaker B: But the cops are coming.
• 25:26
  Speaker A: They kind of on another side of your mouth. Like, you should kind of be scared of cop. Like, you shouldn't be speeding because, like, you should be afraid a cops gonna pull you over.
• 25:31
  Speaker B: I know, but like, it's gotten bad where it's like they see a cop,
• 25:34
  Speaker A: they're like so afraid.
• 25:35
  Speaker B: They're like tucked up.
• 25:36
  Speaker A: Yeah. Hands and feet folded. Okay, so you're running away. I'm putting my kid in jail.
• 25:42
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker A: And.
• 25:43
  Speaker B: And our husbands are beating the shit out of them.
• 25:45
  Speaker A: My. It's so funny because I've seen your husband discipline and my husband disciplines the same way. I'm like, you sound like Joey.
• 25:52
  Speaker B: Yeah, and I've said that.
• 25:53
  Speaker A: I've said that before.
• 25:54
  Speaker B: It's the way they talk. Like it's the stern.
• 25:56
  Speaker A: I'm like, you actually sound like an adult talking to an adult. Can you like, simmer it down a bit?
• 26:00
  Speaker B: Sometimes I'm even like. So sometimes I'm like.
• 26:03
  Speaker A: I'm like, who the are you talking to?
• 26:05
  Speaker B: My kid. This is a. This is a two year old baby. And you're yelling at him like, he
• 26:10
  Speaker A: just like, do you ever tell him not to yell at him like that?
• 26:12
  Speaker B: Oh, my God.
• 26:13
  Speaker A: Yeah. I'm like, who are you to talk to my kid like that?
• 26:16
  Speaker B: And then I get like all defensive and then he's like, do you want our kids to be good or not?
• 26:20
  Speaker A: Yeah, I'm like, I guess.
• 26:22
  Speaker B: Yeah. It's hard out there.
• 26:23
  Speaker A: This one is so hard. And I. I would love to be on a fly. A fly on someone's wall in their house to see what goes on.
• 26:29
  Speaker B: Oh, like, do you ever, like, were
• 26:30
  Speaker A: you ever in front of a parent and you're like, what the are they doing?
• 26:33
  Speaker B: Are you kidding me? You. You haven't hit.
• 26:35
  Speaker A: I don't judge. I could judge that.
• 26:37
  Speaker B: Dom has not hit the play date stage in parenting yet.
• 26:40
  Speaker A: But the. I had. I did have a neighborhood kid over at my house.
• 26:43
  Speaker B: Oh, that was good. But the play date stage is wild because you are now in someone else's house. You are now in their world. Except I do have to say I like the way this one mom said. So we were having a playdead at our house and she was like, she told her kids, whatever my rules are, are the rules. So, like, if I let my kids eat Mac and cheese, then she. She's gonna let her kids eat Mac and cheese.
• 27:06
  Speaker A: Who's saying this?
• 27:07
  Speaker B: The mom.
• 27:08
  Speaker A: So drop their kids off of the play date.
• 27:09
  Speaker B: No, no. So our play dates are still. The moms have to stay.
• 27:11
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 27:12
  Speaker B: After like 6 years old, the moms get to leave, which is fucking amazing. I haven't had it yet, but I can imagine. I would go run and get my nails done. I would go do something. My kid could fuck up your house and then I'll pick you up. Yeah, but so I'm not there yet almost. And so this mom came in and was like, whatever they do at their house, like, your rules are their rules now. Which I kind of liked because she was like. And she explained it.
• 27:36
  Speaker A: She was like, wait, Excited.
• 27:38
  Speaker B: So, like, let's say you're an organic mom.
• 27:40
  Speaker A: Okay?
• 27:40
  Speaker B: So, like, she didn't bring her own fucking organic snacks. She let my kid. Her kids eat Cheetos. Like, she was like, we're at their house. So, like, their rules will be your rules.
• 27:48
  Speaker A: So they have to eat organic?
• 27:50
  Speaker B: No, they don't have to eat organic. If my kids were at your house, they'd have to eat organic.
• 27:54
  Speaker A: Like, that's what I'm saying. It's the house rule. So I'm here. You can only have this, this, and this. Your kids can only have this.
• 28:00
  Speaker B: Yeah, like. Like you're here. We're.
• 28:02
  Speaker A: I like that.
• 28:03
  Speaker B: I like that.
• 28:04
  Speaker A: I'm like that.
• 28:04
  Speaker B: Yeah. So it's like house rules. It's like we're in someone's house, you follow their rules.
• 28:10
  Speaker A: Sometimes easier. Like, you brought over, I was gonna make my son his normal dinner, and then you brought over quesadilla and chicken nuggets and I'm like, just fucking eat that.
• 28:17
  Speaker B: Yeah, it's like. I mean, it's just.
• 28:19
  Speaker A: It's just easier. Yeah, but I.
• 28:21
  Speaker B: But also like, so I have seen parents who are like the more gentle parent and like, they're like, okay, we're gonna use kind words and we're not gonna do that. And we're gonna like.
• 28:32
  Speaker A: I do hate cursing in front of your kids, though.
• 28:33
  Speaker B: I feel bad. Oh, you personally, I feel bad doing
• 28:36
  Speaker A: it in front of your kids.
• 28:37
  Speaker B: Oh, I mean, curse away.
• 28:38
  Speaker A: I'm also not at the stage where my son, he's getting there, cuz he did say holy the other day, but
• 28:43
  Speaker B: I feel like your son curses more than my kids.
• 28:45
  Speaker A: Yeah, totally. But I don't like cursing in front of others. That's like the one thing. Everything else like, no, to each their own. Do your own thing. But the cursing in front of other people's kids, who I know don't like cursing, I feel bad about.
• 28:54
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I would. I just try to be like upstanding citizen and not.
• 29:00
  Speaker A: You're not a big cursor in general, though.
• 29:02
  Speaker B: Are you fucking kidding?
• 29:04
  Speaker A: Are you?
• 29:05
  Speaker B: No, but so like, you do see different parenting styles with discipline and it's. I mean, everybody's different.
• 29:12
  Speaker A: So you just have to help a judge, though.
• 29:14
  Speaker B: No, no, I'm judging.
• 29:15
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 29:15
  Speaker B: Like you could sit here and say, like, I'm not judging. Like, everybody fucking judging.
• 29:19
  Speaker A: You know where I get fucked up though? So like last night when Gio was doing the toy box and Rocco wanted to put his toy on it.
• 29:25
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 29:26
  Speaker A: And I'm trying to tell Gio just like, how do you tell a. To like, there's no way.
• 29:30
  Speaker B: Well, first of all, kids do not care. What do you do? Will not share.
• 29:33
  Speaker A: And you can't tell them what to do.
• 29:34
  Speaker B: 3 years old.
• 29:35
  Speaker A: How many times am I going to say it?
• 29:36
  Speaker B: It's not in there being. And I. I feel. I feel what you're saying. So this is a scenario. Folks who are listening, our two year olds are playing with the Tony.
• 29:46
  Speaker A: Tony box.
• 29:46
  Speaker B: They each have their character they both want to put their character on the Tony box. So Gio's putting his. Rock wants to put his.
• 29:52
  Speaker A: They don't play at the same time.
• 29:54
  Speaker B: At the same time. Gio song was playing for a little bit. And then Rocco said, can I have a turn? Gio only wanted his song. Rocco was waiting. Then Rocco tried to put his. And they were fighting over like normal 2 year olds would. I understand where you're feeling. Like it's like you wanna. You want your kid to do like the right nice thing, but also like, they're too. So they're not gonna share, like, just get.
• 30:15
  Speaker A: And what am I gonna say? How many times am I gonna be like, geo Rocco say, no, it's his.
• 30:19
  Speaker B: Don't. That does happen a lot. Just in other.
• 30:21
  Speaker A: And I hate, I hate that feeling because I don't want you to think
• 30:23
  Speaker B: that's a bad feeling.
• 30:24
  Speaker A: I hate it even in front of you.
• 30:25
  Speaker B: That's how I used to feel when my kid would pull his cousin's hair. He was. He was one and a half. Yes. I would cry.
• 30:33
  Speaker A: Literally, I.
• 30:35
  Speaker B: There was nothing I could do to make him pull her hair. And like, it wasn't like they were fighting.
• 30:40
  Speaker A: How can you discipline hair pulling?
• 30:42
  Speaker B: No, it was the worst thing. And she had these beautiful curly hairs. And they're best friends now. They're literally best friends. But he would just go up and yank the shit out of her curls.
• 30:51
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 30:51
  Speaker B: And I'd be like to my sister in law, like, what do I do? I'm so sorry. Like, should like, do I put him in timeout? Like every single time he does it? And like I tried that and then that didn't work. And I was like, I feel like I'm failing. Like, I just, I don't want.
• 31:03
  Speaker A: How do you put a one and a half year old in time out?
• 31:05
  Speaker B: No, you don't. I mean, it's hard, but like, I was like, I'm raising a serial killer.
• 31:09
  Speaker A: Like he's gonna be. He's pulling people's hair.
• 31:12
  Speaker B: But in the time when you're in.
• 31:13
  Speaker A: How many times do you think that, like, my kid's gonna be this when he grows up?
• 31:15
  Speaker B: Oh my God.
• 31:16
  Speaker A: Like, I hate that too.
• 31:17
  Speaker B: No, we are, we just want to raise good humans.
• 31:19
  Speaker A: I want to raise a good kid and I want my kids to like, I generally want my kids to look at me like, I'm a good parent.
• 31:25
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 31:26
  Speaker A: Cool parent. Good parent. Fun parent. Fair parent.
• 31:29
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 31:29
  Speaker A: But it's so hard. Like, I don't know how to discipline. I generally am Asking for help. Yeah, I just, like, kind of like, tell them what to do or not to do.
• 31:36
  Speaker B: Yeah. I think.
• 31:37
  Speaker A: I don't. I don't do, like, the whole timeout of every time you do this to. Like, sometimes if it's time, it was tough. Sometimes if it does, if it's bad, like, if you, like, threw a remote at the tv, he's going in timeout.
• 31:46
  Speaker B: I think if it's like a. If they hurt somebody or hurt you.
• 31:50
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's a big thing. But it's like, sometimes I'm fucking tired, and I don't want to do the discipline.
• 31:55
  Speaker B: Like, Joey the other day, he. I got. I don't know why. I don't know why I did this. I do it to myself. I bought new Sharpies. I saw rainbow Sharpies, and I wanted them for myself, buying Sharpies. I wanted to label their. Label things that can't. So I like literally every color Sharpie. But that's a permanent marker, right? I tell my kids they're not allowed to use permanent markers, but I just bought a giant thing of new Sharpies. So they are going to town on Sharpies.
• 32:19
  Speaker A: Like, what do you spend money on?
• 32:20
  Speaker B: On the glass table. So they turned our glass dining room table. They thought it was like a Sharpie board, like a wipe away. So they're Sharpieing our glass table. Yes. Thank God for Windex. Windex did the trick. And I. But I was like, again, the first thing in my head is, oh, my God, my husband's gonna kill me.
• 32:41
  Speaker A: That's always my first. So afraid. I'm so afraid.
• 32:44
  Speaker B: Yeah. But, like. So no, but the discipline was. They had to clean it.
• 32:48
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 32:48
  Speaker B: That was like.
• 32:49
  Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. When they're older, they could do the job.
• 32:51
  Speaker B: Like, they have to do the job to fix the problem that they created.
• 32:54
  Speaker A: Right. Okay. So it gets better when you get older.
• 32:57
  Speaker B: I mean, like, in that example. But, like, who knows? I don't know how to discipline either. So I just am doing my best. We're all just struggling, trying to figure
• 33:03
  Speaker A: out we're doing our best. But I know what's wrong and what's right. So if my kid does wrong, he does wrong, and he's in trouble.
• 33:11
  Speaker B: And then he calls me pretty, and
• 33:12
  Speaker A: then he's pretty and cute, and he loves his mom, and then that's it. I would love to know and hear how, like, not how you discipline your kids, but, like, certain things you do. Because I like taking certain people the pages out of people's books.
• 33:26
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 33:26
  Speaker A: So I would love to hear.
• 33:27
  Speaker B: Yeah. We're open.
• 33:28
  Speaker A: We're open.
• 33:29
  Speaker B: We're very open.
• 33:29
  Speaker A: We're open for our discipline book. Okay? That's all.
• 33:32
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 33:33
  Speaker A: Don't hit your kids, Mama.
• 33:34
  Speaker B: Clock out.
• 33:35
  Speaker A: Out. We're clocking out.