Latest / The Inspired Speaker Network / A Path Is Made by Walking: How I Stopped Waiting to Feel Ready-Part 1

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A Path Is Made by Walking: How I Stopped Waiting to Feel Ready-Part 1 · The Inspired Speaker Network

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Your travels have brought you to the Surfing
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Your Edge podcast, where we explore what it
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takes to create the bigger, bolder, badass life
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you know you were born for.
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Not a life that simply looks good on
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paper, and not another spin on the self
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-help hamster wheel.
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If you're ready for more joy, more peace,
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and more contribution, you're in the right place.
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I'm Kristine Goad, the Surfing Your Edge coach.
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Let's get surfing.
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Hello, and welcome to Surfing Your Edge.
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I'm Kristine.
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I'm so happy you're here.
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And today, I thought I would bore you
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with the little story of how I became
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the Surfing Your Edge coach.
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So let's start.
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Um, let's see.
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I was 29 years old and still trying
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to figure out what to do with my
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life.
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I'd basically gotten two college degrees, lived in
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three different states at that point.
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Is that true?
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Yes, that's true.
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And had been trying out different jobs in
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the adult world, and was just finding that
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it was hard to figure out where I
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fit in.
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And I have a lot of passions, a
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lot of interests.
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I thought I was going to get a
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PhD until I realized that to be a
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PhD, you need to be a specialist, right?
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You've got to want to go really deep
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into one area.
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And that is just not me.
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I want to know a little bit about
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everything.
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And so I was not PhD material.
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I was not MD material.
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I was just not material for specialization.
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And because I had so many different interests,
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it was really hard for me to figure
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out if I should be a journalist.
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I got my master's in professional writing just
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as the first wave of newspapers were shutting
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down and firing everybody.
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So that kind of cut journalism out.
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And then it was like, well, maybe I
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should be a scientist.
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I'm crazy about the environment.
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I love marine environments.
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Maybe I should be a marine biologist.
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And I just went a writer.
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Anyway, I was all over the place trying
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out different things.
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And what I really hoped was that somebody
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somewhere knew where all of these passions and
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ideas and skills could make the biggest difference.
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So when I was 29, my husband found
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a two-page article in the newspaper inviting
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people to go on a cross-country bike
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trip from Seattle, Washington, to Washington, D.C.
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It was 3,200 and some odd miles.
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And it was a fundraiser for the American
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Lung Association.
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And at the time, I had pretty strong
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asthma.
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I was overweight, quite overweight.
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I didn't own a bike.
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And yet, I thought, oh, sure, let me
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just join this fundraiser for the American Lung
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Association, travel across the country on a bike,
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and somewhere in the middle of the Badlands
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or on some mountain peak somewhere, the universe
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will whisper in my ear, when you get
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off of this ride, you go home and
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you do this.
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You find this kind of company, apply for
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this kind of job, and all of your
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skills and passions and all of you can
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come to the table, right?
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And I thought, okay, this is the thing.
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I'm going to get quiet.
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The universe is going to speak.
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It's going to be amazing.
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And what do you think happened?
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I went on an amazing trip.
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I learned a lot about myself.
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I became, actually, even now, I was 29
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at the time.
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I'm 57 today.
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And I still think that I probably was
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the fullest expression of who I was at
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that time, of any time I've ever, of
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any time in my life, right?
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That I was most me then.
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I might be a different version of me
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now, but I was me.
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I was willing to say what I thought
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and feel comfortable no matter where I was.
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And even if people were challenging me, and
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they did, because of my asthma and because
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of the fact that I was a novice
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cyclist who didn't know what she was getting
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herself into, there were days when I did
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not ride.
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And I did not ride on the cross
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-country bike trip.
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And I was on a support and gear
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vehicle instead.
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And there were cyclists on that trip who
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thought that unless all 720 of us were
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riding every single mile, every single day, somehow,
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those of us who weren't participating that fully
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were diminishing the accomplishment of those people who
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were able and willing to go every, we
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called them every friggin' inchers, EFI.
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And so there were some tense moments where
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people were like, you're bringing us down.
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And I was like, no, I'm contributing from
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whatever part of the community I'm in.
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I'm either having some uplifting conversation on a
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bus, or I'm helping put up tents, or
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I'm doing something.
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Anyway, that was a digression.
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But the point of the story is that
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I went on this amazing trip and did
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not hear the whisper in my ear what
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I should do when I got off the
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ride.
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I had quit my job.
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I had no job to go back to.
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I had to figure out what I was
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going to do.
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And I had no clue.
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I was asking, what box do I fit
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in?
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I think you've probably heard me say this
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before.
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I was asking, what box do I fit
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in?
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And the answer I was getting, BU.
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And that did not make any sense to
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me.
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So I got off that ride, and I
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sank into the biggest depression of my life.
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And that's saying a lot, because I had
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already gone through a major depression in my
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early 20s when I was considering suicide.
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So to say that I spent another two
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years deeply depressed was very, very painful.
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And people would ask me, how was your
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ride?
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And it was like, I almost didn't want
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to tell them, because I felt like a
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failure.
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Because not only because I didn't ride every
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mile, but because my goal of figuring out
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who I was was not accomplished.
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So I came home, and I just kept
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struggling, right?
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I wrote a memoir about the cross-country
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bike trip.
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I got married.
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I, or, yeah, well, I was already married,
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but I had my wedding.
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I tried a couple of different jobs, and
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I just kept going.
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And for the next, oh, wow, 15 years
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or so, I just kept feeling like there
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was more.
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There had to be more.
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I could do more.
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I was helping one person put her ideas
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into the world, a very talented artist.
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And I wanted to help more people be
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able to put their ideas into the world.
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I wanted more people to feel empowered and
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to have the support that I could offer
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in figuring out what was next for them
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and what was possible.
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So around the year, I don't know, somewhere
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around the year 2005, I started learning about
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becoming a nomadic solopreneur.
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And I thought, oh, this is it, right?
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This is going to be me.
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I love travel.
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I love adventure.
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And I started researching.
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I hired a coach to help me figure
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out what my business would be.
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I read every book, read every podcast, and
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just spent a good solid 10 years learning,
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right, learning about how to build a business,
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learning about how to be a nomad.
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And yet I felt like I was not
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prepared to take the step to get moving
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on that path because I wasn't ready, right?
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I wasn't ready.
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There was so much more I needed to
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learn and have in place and, you know,
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finances figured out and all kinds of things.
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So I spent 10 years circling and going
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into a job that on many levels was
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helping me become the person I wanted to
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be.
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I was learning and growing and becoming more
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confident and learning solid marketing skills and business
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skills.
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And yet I was sick to my stomach
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almost every morning because I knew I was
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meant to be doing something else and I
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didn't have the courage to do it.
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And it just built and built and built.
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And I started doing this thing where I
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would say, okay, when I get these three
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projects completed for my employer, I will give
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my notice and I will start my job,
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my business, right?
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And I put that on the refrigerator and
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I'd look at it every day.
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And the little, you know, the deadline would
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come and go.
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I would have finished those three projects and
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yet there would be three more projects that
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will have popped up in the meantime.
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So then that piece of paper comes down
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and three new projects go up because, you
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know, I'm a person who does what she
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says she's going to do and I'm going
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to fulfill my commitments and I'm going to
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help my employer get these things into the
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world.
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And I also am scared and don't know
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what I'm doing and don't know where I'd
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start.
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So let's just keep rolling.
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And I rolled that commitment to myself forward
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and forward and forward.
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And I lost more and more confidence that
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I could fulfill a commitment that I made
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to myself.
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I was great at fulfilling commitments to other
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people.
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I could not fulfill a commitment to myself.
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So I started doing crazy things like signing
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up for a hundred mile bike trips, or
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actually I signed up for one that was
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200 miles.
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It was a Saturday and Sunday where you
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rode a hundred miles each day.
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And I'm like, you know, if I can
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do that, then I can prove to myself
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that I can follow through on a commitment
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that I make to myself.
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And so I would just go out and
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do insane things like beating my body up
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to prove to myself that I could follow
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through.
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And that was great and fun and gave
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me something to talk about and cool stories,
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but it didn't help me quit my job.
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It didn't help me start a business.
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It didn't help me even know where to
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start.
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And somewhere along the line, I heard the
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phrase, a path is made by walking.
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And I realized that I had been trying
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to figure out how to get from where
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I wanted to go from where I was
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to where I wanted to go.
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And I wanted to have a complete pathway.
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I didn't want to waste money or time.
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I didn't want to risk failure in front
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of other people.
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I wanted to just make my decision and
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follow my path and get there and succeed
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and jump through all the hoops and show
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that, hey, you're a talented, smart woman.
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You can figure this out.
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You can do it.
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That's what I wanted.
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And instead, what I saw was this black
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wall in front of me.
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I couldn't figure out.
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I wasn't even sure what was on the
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other side of it.
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What was it exactly that I was driving
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toward?
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I just knew there was more.
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There was something else out there.
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So that was the first story.
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Second story, there was a person who I
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think is very much like me, who I
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found online, who had gone all the way
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through and gotten her PhD in research, scientific
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research.
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And then in the middle of getting her
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PhD, realized she hated research and did not
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want to be a scientific researcher for the
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rest of her life.
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And so her blog was all about figuring
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out what she was going to do instead.
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And she likened herself to a lichen growing
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on a rock, right, where every day you
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wake up and you feel for the sun.
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Where's the sun?
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Let's grow toward the sun today.
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And that is how she figured out how
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she was going to be in the world.
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She got up every day, leaned into the
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sun.
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So those two things were kind of the
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pebble that got kicked down the mountain that
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got me moving.
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The other thing that got me moving was
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the universe got tired of me waiting and
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said, OK, fine, we are going to move
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you out of this situation and you're going
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to have to start over.
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My husband changed jobs and we had to
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move from our one state to another.
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And if I was going to continue to
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be married, I had to quit my job
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and move and start over.
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So that's how I really got going.
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But even then, there was more to grow,
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right?
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I started out with the idea that I
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would help older people, 40s and 50s, who
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had had a dream and had to put
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it on a shelf because they got busy
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with life and they had families and they
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had a career and they had things that
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they had to do in order to keep
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the lights on and food on the table.
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And yet this so this dream was in
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the background.
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And I had this idea that I could
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help these people look at who they are
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now, look at the resources that they've developed
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and re-envision what that dream might look
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like from their current position in life.
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And so that's how I started out helping
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people.
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And what I found was that there were,
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it was a rare individual who was willing
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to look at that dream and bring it
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forward again.
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Most people were pretty content with the fact
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that no, too late for that.
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And they put it on the shelf and
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they were happy to leave it there.
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So my business continued to evolve.
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And on the 20th, the 20th anniversary of
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that cross-country bike trip was coming up
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and I was 49 years old now.
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Yes.
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And I wanted to do something exciting and
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scary to commemorate that 20th, that cross-country
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bike trip.
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And obviously I didn't have the resources or
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the time to jump on a bike and
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go on a cross-country bike trip again.
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So I needed to figure out what the
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next step was.
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Turns out the next step was, I looked
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around at the thing that scared me the
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most and I had been afraid of open
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water my entire life.
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I was a strong swimmer and yet open
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water terrified me.
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And I had been doing cross-country, or
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not cross-country, I'd been doing sprint distance
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triathlons since the end of the bike ride,
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the big ride.
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Kind of as a way to help me
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get over that, but it hadn't quite worked.
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I would still get into open water and
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panic and have to overcome the panic in
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order to finish the race.
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So I was looking around and I said
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to a colleague at the time, I had
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taken a remote position, joined an amazing team
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of people.
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And I looked at a colleague and I
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said, you know, I'd really like to do
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something like take people to learn to surf
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because that scares me.
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And then we do this scary thing, we
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get out of our comfort zone, we learn
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about ourselves, and then we come home.
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And I coached them after the trip to
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actually put into place the vision that they
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had while they were out there learning about
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themselves on the surfing trip.
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But it can't be surfing.
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And they're like, well, why can't it be
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surfing?
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And I'm like, because I would be terrified
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and I can't be a leader and be
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terrified.
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And he said, why not?
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And so that is how the Surfing Your
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Edge brand was born.
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I had one brave client sign up to
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go with me to Panama to learn to
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surf.
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It was an eight-day adventure.
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And then we had a six-month adventure
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after that where we continued to work together
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to help her bring her new vision to
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life in her life.
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And this has already been quite a story,
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quite a long story.
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And if you're still with me, thank you.
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And if you would like to hear what
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happened in Panama when I went to learn
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to surf in the ocean during a lightning
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storm, join me for my next episode where
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we will continue the story and I will
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tell you a little bit more about the
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whole idea of what Surfing Your Edge really
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means to me and how it has transformed
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the lives of some of the people that
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I love most in the world.