Latest / No Time to Waste Podcast - w Marcus Murray / Making the Decision to Accept Responsibility

Transcript

Making the Decision to Accept Responsibility · No Time to Waste Podcast - w Marcus Murray

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome out to the No Time to Waste Podcast Studio.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm your guide, Marcus Murray, and I'm so excited to be with you as we get kicked off the top of a brand new year.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: We've got some amazing things planned, and I believe it's going to be one of the most beneficial and valuable seasons together that we've ever experienced.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I want to start by first saying that this past year was absolutely full of ups and downs and twists and turns, things I never could have imagined.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And probably a lot like you, I started the year last year with an objective.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I had some goals, I had some plans, but there's a scripture that says, many are the plans of a man's heart, but it's actually God that directs the path.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's so incredible.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: So some of the things that happened this past year, probably a lot like you, were to put it mildly devastating.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: I actually can admit that I have every single excuse, probably a list of them, of all the reasons why I could just stop.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: But in reality, excuses are useless.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: They serve no purpose, and we want to avoid them.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the things this year, what we're doing, we're going to break down our segments into 52 weeks.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is week one.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: There will be two sessions this week.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: But we're going to break it down into 52 decisions that every man must make if he or she is going to achieve long-lasting success.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: By March one, we'll introduce the book that'll carry you through the year with all the details, lots of heavy-duty reading, really good.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's still being edited right now.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: However, there will also be a handbook, and the handbook will allow you to follow along week by week.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: But for today, we're going to start with the first of the 52 decisions, which is deciding to take responsibility and acknowledge that no one is coming to save you.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: So all of the things that that happened this past year were really unexpected, unplanned, never could have imagined it.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it's when I realized that I wasn't Superman.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Your year, when we look back at your year last year, did you come to any realizations that maybe things could be a little bit better if we decided differently, if we made different choices?
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: If so, I believe you've tuned into just the perfect episode.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Men reach, and it's it's this point where excuses no longer work.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Excuses don't move us forward.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, it's a point where we realize we actually have to do something.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: We have to take uh responsibility.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that leads us to the first thought, which is what exactly is responsibility and what is the purpose of responsibility?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, some people believe that when you are asked to take responsibility, it means you're being asked to take the blame for something.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: In reality, that's a deception because responsibility is not blame.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility is like an opportunity to take control.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: If we defer responsibility to people outside of us and we put the blame of responsibility on someone else, we now lose control of the ability to advance, to shift, to pivot, to transition.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: We lose that power because we've now given it to someone else.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's only in the moment that we actually personally accept responsibility that we are able to understand the power that we've actually been given.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, events happen, uh, decisions are made, they're not always the best, but if we defer responsibility, the power is given away.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, what we want to do, especially as a man that grew up without the instruction of a father, and I know there are plenty of people that are listening in that are in that exact same situation.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: When you don't have a father present to demonstrate responsibility, you don't really know what it is.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when you grow up without that particular uh instruction, it does something to you psychologically.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: It almost puts you in a position where you're always waiting, where you're sitting back waiting to be allowed permission, where you're waiting to actually initiate, you don't really get the fact that you have the power to make things change.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: So at the point that you stop saying, uh, who failed me and start asking, what do I do with the situation I've been given?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's the critical moment.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because once we say, What do I do now?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right, instead of saying, this person did this and this person did that and this person did the other, we say, what is it that I need to do now?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: The reason that's important, it's not that the hardship, the calamity, the setback, the issue, it's not like any of that didn't happen because it did happen and it's not excusing it.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: But what it's doing, it's changing things.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's a psychological shift.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And when we say um uh a psychological shift, it's basically taking what is an external locus of control.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's taking that external power and flipping it inside out, and it's giving us an internal locus of control.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: We are now in charge.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not saying that the issue didn't happen, but it is saying that we are now going to take the hand that we have before us, the chips that are on our table, we're going to take the tools that have been placed in our toolbox and we are going to fashion the future, right?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: And we can't do that with excuses.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to take work.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when control becomes internal, something very powerful, almost um spiritual, it happens.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: We begin to realize that life isn't happening to us.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Life is actually happening around us.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if we are going to move into our successful place, we're going to have to recognize our role in creating the future.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I wrote down a couple of points that I really want to highlight with you.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this will be really, really beneficial.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: This part, I believe, is where most men get it wrong.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: We believe that responsibility is a burden, that it's actually heavy.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, responsibility is onerous.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility is like a weight that we have to carry on our backs.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: But in reality, the responsibility is more like a stabilizer.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that we can stand on, and it gives us the ability to land the punch with power because we're stable, right?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: There is a saying, a scripture actually, that says a double-minded man is unstable in all of his ways.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: What would be an example in this particular vein of being double-minded?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's the person that wants to blame others and still be recognized for achievement.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: You that same person can't exist in one individual.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's a dichotomy.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: If a person is always blaming, how do you celebrate their success?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because they are not fully responsible.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: They're not stable.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's double-minded.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Whereas the man that accepts responsibility, we can celebrate his victories because that man is stable, that man is solid.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: So how do we achieve this?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because we don't want to belabor the point that many people have been trapped in this concept.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to encourage you to read chapter one in the book, the 52 decisions that every man must make to experience a successful life.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to encourage you to get it.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be able to see it.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, again, it's coming in March.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Pre-orders will be mid-February.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, I'm going to say this.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: What we want to do is start.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: We just want to start.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: We want to take control today and determine exactly what we can do to change the future.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: I talked once before about making a bed.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, getting up in the morning and making the bed.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: That seems like a very simple, minute, um, ridiculous task that doesn't carry a lot of weight.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: But in reality, it's far beyond being trivial.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually psychologically powerful.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: It allows you to take control, to create order in a small, manageable area, and then to look back and see that you were successful at doing it.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when I make the bed, and this is a strategy, and I believe it it really means a lot, there can be chaos everywhere.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: But when I wake up in the morning and make the bed, I feel like I'm in charge of the day.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when I make the bed, I walk away and I turn around at the door and I look back at the bed and I see it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's already, it's all in order, and it lets me know, okay, we can do this today.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: We can do this.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, before leading, we worship.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's important.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, before planning, we pray, that's very important.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: And before we proceed, we praise.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: We always, I'm always thankful for the outcome of the future and what's going to happen.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I'm always giving thanks before it actually happens.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always recognizing that I serve a king, and he's the king of kings, and he's the one that's going to make my way easy and my path clear.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that I'll do in each one of these segments is speak the way that I would if I could turn back time and talk to my sons.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, mind you, I'm standing in a point now that I had 30 years of being without a father before I became a father.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And now I've had 30 years of being a father to three sons.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had an opportunity to look at sonship from three different angles, three different styles, three different approaches, three different individuals.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: At the same time, I'm able to reflect back on my experience being a son.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: So in this last moment, I would just like to share what I would share.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Or better than that, actually, I'd like to share what I wish had been shared with me when I was a son, waiting to hear the voice of my father.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: If my dad could have said, son, responsibility is not judgment, it's actually keys.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Responsibility gives you the ability to make things change.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be stressed trying to fix everything.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just start by creating order somewhere in one corner of your life.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Son, just finish one task.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be burdened by all the things you have to do.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Just do one thing and finish it completely.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: Make one promise to yourself and honor it.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: Success is not starting big, but in order to succeed, you have to get started.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I wish my father had been able to say to me.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, with that being said, we're going to end this segment by letting you know I can't wait to see you next week.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tune in, same time, same place, top of the week.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And we are going to have an absolutely phenomenal journey together.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Take care and make it a great one.