Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How do narcissists feel when you expose them to their family and friends
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on beautiful people?
- 0:02Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code and I'm your
- 0:05favorite self aware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock better known as
- 0:08mental illness across all social media platforms.
- 0:11This is your first time to see my face and hear my lovely
- 0:13voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:15narcissist and they use my platform on social media to
- 0:18raise awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy and
- 0:21also validate the victim, survivors and thrivers of said
- 0:25disorder, said Toxic people said toxic rates.
- 0:27Today's episode is going to be about how do narcissists feel
- 0:31when you reach out to their friends or family, their friends
- 0:35and family when you expose them to their friends and family.
- 0:37I know I've done a few episodes on exposing overall, but
- 0:41specifically to the friends of family.
- 0:43I haven't done that just yet. And so before we get deep into
- 0:46today's episode, y'all make sure you join my newsletter.
- 0:49My kids book is finished. People who are people who have
- 0:52the newsletter, who are on the newsletter are going to get a
- 0:54sneak peek at it here, coming pretty soon.
- 0:57The links in the description of every video and podcast that I
- 0:59do. Check it out.
- 1:01My new My kids book newsletter. Oh yeah, I'm I'm excited.
- 1:04Yeah, it's going to. It's going to have a lot of
- 1:05people, and me and my wife cowrote the book.
- 1:08So my wife y'all wanted some input from her.
- 1:10She got it. She knew the book.
- 1:13Super thankful. Y'all.
- 1:14I feel so good. I feel so good today.
- 1:19But yeah, how do narcissists feel when you expose them to
- 1:21their friends and family? Y'all.
- 1:23First of all, some narcissists like to keep you separate from
- 1:27their friends and family. That's just a fact of the
- 1:29matter. That is just that, just what
- 1:31happens. A lot of times y'all that
- 1:33narcissistic person talks a person, whatever wants to keep
- 1:36you separated from their friends and or family because they feel
- 1:39empowered. It just gets.
- 1:41It can be just as simple as that.
- 1:43They want to control the narrative.
- 1:45They want to keep you separate because you know they don't want
- 1:48to fully commit to you, or they want to hide you.
- 1:51They want to hide you. They don't want to fully commit
- 1:52to you and or they don't want their friends and family to have
- 1:55any kind of input on Y'all's life.
- 1:58So sometimes they'll keep you separate on purpose.
- 2:02I tell this to people all the time.
- 2:03Y'all that meeting the family too fast is a red flag, but also
- 2:09not meeting the family and friends or them.
- 2:12Keeping you separated from the family and friends is red flagy
- 2:15behavior as well and what not. But if you decide to expose that
- 2:21narcissisted person to their friends and family members, just
- 2:24be prepared. Y'all just be prepared.
- 2:26Because that narcissisted person is going to see that as probably
- 2:31one of the ultimate betrayals that you could ever do to them.
- 2:36Narcissistic injury. Narcissistic anger, rage.
- 2:39All this that you might get a damn volcanic narcissistic.
- 2:42You might get Mount Mount Vesuvius.
- 2:44Narcissism of narcissism. They're going to explode.
- 2:49They just are they like yeah, a lot of times when they if you
- 2:51reach out. Hey, I called your mom and told
- 2:53her what you did. I called your dad and told her
- 2:55what you did. Yeah, y'all.
- 2:57You ever seen the flame of flame breathing dragon?
- 3:00You just you. You're about to because they're
- 3:03going to feel that's the one of the biggest signs of betrayal
- 3:06that you could do. Like not only did you expose me,
- 3:09you exposed me to my inner circle.
- 3:12You did. And here's the kicker, y'all.
- 3:14Sometimes the family and friends already know that narcissist is
- 3:18abusive or toxic as hell. Sometimes they already know.
- 3:20I watched the girl the other day post video on Facebook about her
- 3:26brother being a a girl posted on video, a video on Facebook, not
- 3:29Facebook on TikTok about her brother being the most kind,
- 3:32loving soul that she had known. And then another woman saw that
- 3:35video and she's like your brother just got into jail for
- 3:39trying to take my life and you are here trying to proposition
- 3:42him for moral women. So you are sick.
- 3:44You're a horrible person. And then the other girl said I'm
- 3:47just a a little sister that a big sister that loves my
- 3:50brother. Sorry.
- 3:51Sorry about what you went through.
- 3:53She knows her brother's abusive. She knows her brother's toxic.
- 3:56She knows her brother's dangerous.
- 3:57And she's tried the proposition he's a big handsome dude too.
- 4:00Handsome dude. Oh Lord.
- 4:02My brother's most kindest soul. I know.
- 4:04And then people in the comment section like oh is he single.
- 4:06Is he single. And that woman's video, the the
- 4:08his ex's video just happened to go viral and people saw the
- 4:14other girl, the sister shut the comments off, you know, because
- 4:19she's trying to get somebody. Somebody's life can be taken
- 4:20because your sister now don't want to hold them accountable.
- 4:23So sometimes the narcissist friends and family already know
- 4:26who they are. Y'all just be real.
- 4:28They enable the behaviors. They are okay with that
- 4:30narcissist being narcissistic to you because sometimes you take
- 4:35the pressure away from them. I know it sounds horrible, but
- 4:40it's not. Sometimes in the family members
- 4:42dynamics, the loans, the narcissist is treating you
- 4:45badly. You take some of the, you take
- 4:47some of that from them. So they they happy to keep you
- 4:49around, they happy to keep you in the picture because now you
- 4:52became a now you're in the middle of everything.
- 4:54Now you kind of become like a Segway for the abuse of toxic
- 4:57behavior. You see what I'm saying?
- 4:58Now you now you like the middleman of abuse.
- 5:01You see what I'm saying? You feel throughout the abuse,
- 5:03like a lot of the abuse goes to you and they get less.
- 5:06You see what I'm saying? So yeah, but that narcissist,
- 5:10they're going to be angry as hell.
- 5:11Y'all just be. If you're going to expose them
- 5:13to their friends and family, y'all they think about this,
- 5:18y'all this is their friends and family.
- 5:23Don't expect them to be on your side sometimes.
- 5:25Will they be on your side? Yeah, sometimes.
- 5:27But most times y'all realize that that this is their inner
- 5:32circle, this is their friends and family.
- 5:36Don't get your hopes of that. They're going to be on your side
- 5:38because sometimes they're going to go back and tell that
- 5:39narcissist and they're going to put you in danger because they
- 5:43don't believe some of them don't believe you and they don't take
- 5:46the narcissist side anyway. So they're going to put you in
- 5:48danger. You're going to end up getting
- 5:50hurt. So I just feel like sometimes
- 5:52you have to be very careful of what you share.
- 5:54Because once you cause that narcissist the possible
- 5:56narcissistic injury, once you out them to their friends and
- 5:59family, they look, they're going to come for you.
- 6:04They're trying to make your life harder.
- 6:05Now you became now they are. A lot of times the narcissists
- 6:08already views you as an enemy down there, as an enemy
- 6:12combatant, like you're already my enemy.
- 6:14But now you just became my bigger enemy.
- 6:17Because now you expose me, because now you embarrass me.
- 6:19Now you bought shame to me for my friends and family who may,
- 6:23who I might have been trying to impress.
- 6:25So now I'm feeling the rage and fury of 1000 narcissists.
- 6:29It's all bottled up into me right now.
- 6:31You know what I mean? That's one of the that's one of
- 6:33the worst things you can do. I'm not telling you to not
- 6:36expose them. I'm telling you to be careful.
- 6:40I'm telling you to be safe because this could be the final
- 6:42straw to make it narcissistic person.
- 6:44Snap. I'm not trying to be y'all.
- 6:46Trust me. Believe me.
- 6:48I'm. I'm a narcissist.
- 6:49You can believe they. I'm just trying to make it safe
- 6:53for you. Like because I'm not.
- 6:55I don't want to scare you. I'm not trying to fear monger.
- 6:57I'm not telling you. I'm not trying to tell you to be
- 6:59quiet and and keep your abuse a secret.
- 7:01I'm saying when you decide, if you decide to Share your story,
- 7:05you decide to expose this person.
- 7:06Just be careful because they can hurt you.
- 7:09They can try to hurt you. Let's be realistic.
- 7:10They can try to hurt you because you embarrassed them.
- 7:13They can try to make your life if you try to, if you trying to
- 7:15coparent with this person. But especially if y'all, if
- 7:17y'all are not in a relationship together.
- 7:19You're trying to coparent with this person.
- 7:20You're trying to make it work with this person.
- 7:22You're trying to make it you. You trying to have a good you.
- 7:24You trying to have a good dynamic with this person.
- 7:27They're going to make it harder. Now.
- 7:29You just made everything harder because now you hurt me.
- 7:32Now I feel like I have to match your energy.
- 7:35You hurt me. So now I need to hurt you.
- 7:37You you did this to me so that I now I need to do this to you.
- 7:43You. How dare you?
- 7:43It's kind of like that's what That's the mindset.
- 7:45How dare you do this to me? How dare you bring this?
- 7:50How dare you bring this up? How dare you do that?
- 7:53You do this mental, this mental stuff.
- 7:54You know what I mean? How dare you expose me?
- 7:57They want you to keep the abuse a secret.
- 7:59Y'all they want. You, the narcissist in our
- 8:01minds. We want you to keep the toxicity
- 8:04a secret. Because we know what we're doing
- 8:06wrong. That's what y'all.
- 8:06If we didn't know, we wouldn't mind you telling people what was
- 8:09going on. You know, I'm a private person.
- 8:12I learn to keep things a secret. Yeah.
- 8:14Could they be true? Could they be a, could they be a
- 8:16private person? You could be a private person,
- 8:18you know. But do you want to keep the
- 8:19abuse secret? They if they put their hands in
- 8:22you and they beating your ass, that you would be.
- 8:24Is that privacy or they're trying to hide.
- 8:26They're keeping things like trying to protect somebody.
- 8:27You see what I'm saying? Like the mind of the narcissist
- 8:31when you expose them to their friends and family, they feel
- 8:33like this is crazy about this. If they they feel like now, if I
- 8:38got exposed to my friends and family, I feel like if I don't
- 8:41feel comfortable around their friends and family anymore, I
- 8:44will cut them off now because they know who I am.
- 8:47I will either cut them off or I would stop talking to, talking
- 8:50to them and dealing with them as much.
- 8:52You know what I mean? I would stop talking to them.
- 8:54I would stop dealing with them. I was, yeah, I was be around
- 8:58them less because now I'm embarrassed.
- 9:00Now I'm ashamed. There's so much stuff running
- 9:02through my system that now I don't know how to deal with.
- 9:04I don't know how to process it. So it's a lot of things right
- 9:06here in this, in this scenario, in this situation.
- 9:09So be very careful. Y'all when you're dealing with
- 9:11these are statistic people. I know you, I know somebody like
- 9:15I know and I know why a lot of people reach out to their
- 9:18friends and family. Because you want this person to
- 9:20get better. You want this for you want this,
- 9:22you want help for this person, you want this person to live a
- 9:24better life. So I understand why you are
- 9:26reaching out to this person. I understand why you.
- 9:28I understand why you're reaching out to their friends and family.
- 9:31Because you want this person to get help.
- 9:32And like if they're not listening to you, you think who
- 9:35who will they listen to? Maybe they'll listen to their
- 9:38mom. Maybe they'll listen to their
- 9:39dad. Maybe they'll listen to their
- 9:41sister or their brother or their best friend, their college
- 9:43roommate. Maybe they'll listen to these
- 9:44people. Since they're not they're not
- 9:46interested in listening to me. Maybe they'll listen to these
- 9:48other people. I So I understand the minds of
- 9:50y'all. I get it.
- 9:51Trust me. I get it.
- 9:52But you have to be careful and protect your peace and protect
- 9:54yourself. Because that narcissistic
- 9:55person, once you cause the injury, not only will they cut
- 9:58those other people off. They might cut off they might
- 10:00cut off you. They might discard you.
- 10:02But don't use I know like leave. I know people going to be like
- 10:05we'll leak. That's all I needed to hear.
- 10:06I'm never going to expose them now because I I want this person
- 10:09to leave me alone. I want this person to to go
- 10:12away. Yeah.
- 10:13Could they make them leave you alone, embarrassing them in
- 10:15front of their friends and family?
- 10:16Yeah, possibly. But it could also cause them to
- 10:19get super angry. Also, just be very wary because
- 10:22some people don't handle shame very well.
- 10:25A lot of people don't handle shame.
- 10:26A lot of people don't handle rejection.
- 10:27A lot of people don't handle it very well.
- 10:29It will end up lashing out at you, taking it out, taking it
- 10:32out on you, so to speak. Not so to speak.
- 10:34Take it out on you. Definitely take it out on you to
- 10:38protect your peace, protect yourself and keep moving
- 10:41forward. Everything.
- 10:42Y'all. Because if you don't, I'm just
- 10:43telling you the world looks a lot different.
- 10:45When you don't take care of yourself, you're not.
- 10:47When you're not protecting your peace, you're not protecting
- 10:49yourself. The world looks a lot different.
- 10:51You know, just be safe. Like I said, narcissistic
- 10:54person. They could snap, they could give
- 10:56you the silent treatment, they could rage out on you.
- 10:59They could try to hold you accountable.
- 11:00They could try to explain things.
- 11:03They could try to expose you to your friends and family.
- 11:06They could try to match your energy in that situation.
- 11:09In that scenario right there. Y'all.
- 11:10So you have to be prepared for that as well, because that can
- 11:12happen too. So just be prepared.
- 11:14Y'all be prepared to pivot. You know what I mean?
- 11:18Be prepared to pivot anyways, y'all they have tuned into
- 11:22another episode. If you don't know already.
- 11:25My live show comes this next Thursday, 9:00 PM Eastern
- 11:30Standard Time. It's called waving the red Flag
- 11:31with Lee Hammock. I have a producer working on me,
- 11:34Jessica Montez. We're going to be putting this
- 11:36together 9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time on YouTube and
- 11:39Facebook and Twitter as well. If you want to come on the show,
- 11:42send your red flag story or you know to
- 11:45wavingtheredflag@gmail.com waving the red flag
- 11:50show@gmail.com Y'all thank you. Been doing this is out peace.
- 11:54Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:57Y'all I'm I'm truly eternally grateful for every single one of
- 12:00y'all that support the channel in any way, shape or form.
- 12:04If you haven't already, make sure you that you subscribe to
- 12:06the channel so that we can reach more people to help more people.
- 12:09The Self Love brand is available.
- 12:11I'm strong, I love me, It's a self love brand.
- 12:14The Self Love Journal is available on Amazon as well to
- 12:17help you rebuild that self love, love and identity.
- 12:20You know, doing the touch relationship.
- 12:21Also looking into joining the channel membership to get more
- 12:24by behind the scenes perks and things like that.
- 12:26Y'all thank you so much for your support.
- 12:28Thank you. Thank you, Thank you, thanks.