Latest / Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland / Is Tech the Real Problem?

Transcript

Is Tech the Real Problem? · Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland

0:01
Speaker 1: Purposely, your life, God's purpose. Everybody, today we're going to
0:15
Speaker 1: be talking about how we can tell if our child's
0:17
Speaker 1: tech use is healthy or if it's becoming a distraction.
0:20
Speaker 1: This question is awesome. It's one I get asked a
0:22
Speaker 1: lot when I go and do live workshops. It's one
0:24
Speaker 1: I see come through social media. So let's talk about it.
0:27
Speaker 1: Sometimes kids just do things differently. They have fun in
0:30
Speaker 1: ways that we never thought about and we don't really understand.
0:33
Speaker 1: They hang out with their friends in new digital ways.
0:36
Speaker 1: They have access to technology we could not have dreamed of. Um,
0:41
Speaker 1: I vividly remember when the James Bond shoe phone was
0:45
Speaker 1: like a mind-blowing concept. You can communicate to someone but
0:50
Speaker 1: not actually have to plug it into a wall. What
0:52
Speaker 1: is happening? So as we think about the tech these
0:56
Speaker 1: kids have, is it just different? And we're not used
0:58
Speaker 1: to it like the printing press or the bicycle where
1:01
Speaker 1: people lost their minds because it was ruining the way
1:04
Speaker 1: history was supposed to happen. Or is there actually something
1:08
Speaker 1: going on with your child where you don't have to
1:10
Speaker 1: be scared of the technology or hate it in any
1:13
Speaker 1: particular amount. You just have to recognize that something might
1:16
Speaker 1: be off. The way we do this is with a reset.
1:19
Speaker 1: And I want to reiterate this because it's becoming a
1:22
Speaker 1: common acronym in this conversation and through my resources, but
1:26
Speaker 1: I love it. It's becoming maybe my favorite format for
1:29
Speaker 1: family conversations. That's a lot of alliteratives. It's becoming my
1:34
Speaker 1: favorite format for family conversations because it is so Topical
1:40
Speaker 1: focus and it allows us to have that conversation with
1:43
Speaker 1: someone we care about that might be addressing a pinch
1:45
Speaker 1: point without blaming them or You know, that's just not
1:49
Speaker 1: understanding to let them explain back to us a reset
1:53
Speaker 1: It's an acronym that stands for relationships emotions sleep enjoyment
1:57
Speaker 1: and time and I can take these now and go
2:00
Speaker 1: to my child So I have a 12 year old
2:02
Speaker 1: going to junior high and I can say hey I've
2:04
Speaker 1: noticed when you engage Insert the blank for what technology
2:10
Speaker 1: it is. Hey, I've noticed when you're using your school laptop,
2:12
Speaker 1: I actually mentioned this in the previous episode, I said
2:14
Speaker 1: I will be watching him with his school laptop. Yes,
2:18
Speaker 1: I can see what's happening at school, but I'm also
2:19
Speaker 1: looking when he comes home. Is there a pivot in
2:22
Speaker 1: his relationships, emotions, sleep, enjoyment, and time? And if it's
2:26
Speaker 1: not a pivot, then I don't have to have a
2:27
Speaker 1: negative conversation. I can actually come to him and be like, hey,
2:29
Speaker 1: I noticed. man, you use your school laptop, you check
2:33
Speaker 1: in on what your teachers are doing, they have a
2:34
Speaker 1: school email, you're staying up on that correspondence, you do
2:38
Speaker 1: your math work through Khan, and then you move on
2:41
Speaker 1: with life. I love that. Great job. And then I
2:43
Speaker 1: can move on. It doesn't have to be like a
2:45
Speaker 1: knee to knee, forehead to forehead, intense technology conversation. It
2:49
Speaker 1: can just be a quick touch that says, I've noticed
2:51
Speaker 1: you're doing a great job. Like this is really healthy
2:53
Speaker 1: and I'm really proud of how you're handling this. Good work.
2:56
Speaker 1: You can follow that up with, let me know if
2:58
Speaker 1: this becomes unhealthy. But like, we don't just have to
3:02
Speaker 1: bring it up when it's bad. You can say nice
3:03
Speaker 1: things about your child and their relationship with technology. So
3:08
Speaker 1: with the 12-year-old, I'm watching to see if something pivots negatively.
3:12
Speaker 1: With your child, it might be a school-related piece of technology.
3:16
Speaker 1: It might be something he or she earned. They've been
3:19
Speaker 1: asking for this game, this access to a platform, this music.
3:23
Speaker 1: You've said yes, and then... You watch a reset. Relationships, emotion, sleep, enjoyment, time.
3:30
Speaker 1: Let's walk through this very clearly. Relationships would be, does
3:33
Speaker 1: it make them better or worse with their friends? Starting
3:37
Speaker 1: with friend group and then looking at family. So this
3:40
Speaker 1: might be you're playing video games and you just get
3:43
Speaker 1: more snippy when you're playing the video game. I want
3:45
Speaker 1: to pause here because I said this on the interwebs
3:48
Speaker 1: the other day and got some stiff pushback from the
3:51
Speaker 1: gaming community. And I was very clear, and I want
3:54
Speaker 1: to make sure I'm very clear here. I'm talking about
3:57
Speaker 1: young people when they begin gaming who get more irritable
4:01
Speaker 1: because of the game. Now, sometimes this is just because
4:05
Speaker 1: younger siblings are interrupting you and you have your time.
4:08
Speaker 1: I get annoyed if I'm reading a book and someone
4:10
Speaker 1: interrupts me. That's a conversation. Maybe... I'm too invested in
4:15
Speaker 1: my book and I need to be easier to interrupt.
4:17
Speaker 1: Or maybe I just want 30 minutes to read a book. Okay,
4:21
Speaker 1: let's talk that out. If I'm reading the book in
4:23
Speaker 1: the kitchen, that's an inappropriate way to read my book, probably.
4:27
Speaker 1: But I'm not allowed to play video games alone in
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Speaker 1: my room, so what do we do? We either set
4:31
Speaker 1: limits and say, hey, you know what? We're going to
4:32
Speaker 1: give you some independent time. Younger sibling, please don't jump
4:36
Speaker 1: on your brother for the next 30 minutes. He really
4:38
Speaker 1: wants to play this game and play with his friends
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Speaker 1: and they can't hear him when you're shouting. Or... We say,
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Speaker 1: you know what? This is super important and I love
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Speaker 1: that you love video games. It will never take precedent
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Speaker 1: over people. If you cannot game with noise and chaos
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Speaker 1: around you, you will not game. These are both reasonable options.
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Speaker 1: Your family needs to talk that out. But relationships come first.
4:59
Speaker 1: And we're going to talk about, okay, yes, you may
5:02
Speaker 1: make specific space to go and game. That's fine. Just
5:04
Speaker 1: make sure you come back to it. Or, nope. Like
5:08
Speaker 1: we don't have a priority on your independent gameplay. So
5:10
Speaker 1: if you can't make it work in this environment, video
5:13
Speaker 1: games are the things that go away. Whichever way you
5:15
Speaker 1: want to answer that, that's fine. We just recognize that
5:18
Speaker 1: we're having a conversation about relationships. And if this is
5:21
Speaker 1: causing more drama, if I'm gaming for friends rather than
5:24
Speaker 1: with friends. So let me say that again. If I'm
5:27
Speaker 1: gaming for friends, I have to play this game because
5:30
Speaker 1: that's where the people are and I must have friends
5:32
Speaker 1: in my life. I make myself available to And by
5:36
Speaker 1: making myself available and convenient, I actually make myself disposable.
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Speaker 1: So if I don't want to play this game anymore,
5:43
Speaker 1: or I want to try something a different way, or
5:45
Speaker 1: I just, you know what, I can't make it today,
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Speaker 1: they can just fill that squad spot. And I'm not
5:50
Speaker 1: actually a friend with them. We don't have any real relationship.
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Speaker 1: There's no mutual respect. There's no priority put on me
5:55
Speaker 1: as a person. There's just a game they want to
5:57
Speaker 1: play and a guy who used to be there that
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Speaker 1: isn't there anymore. Maybe they even liked me or found
6:01
Speaker 1: me a useful teammate. but it's very easy in a
6:05
Speaker 1: world of convenience to just bring in another person from
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Speaker 1: the server. So please make sure you're playing games with friends,
6:11
Speaker 1: not for them. So that's our relationships that applies to
6:14
Speaker 1: social media as well. Am I having more drama with
6:17
Speaker 1: my friends online? My relationships with my friends and my
6:20
Speaker 1: family when I listen to music is a dryness together.
6:23
Speaker 1: We have a record player. We love to play that.
6:24
Speaker 1: That's something we've kind of made a repeating gift throughout
6:27
Speaker 1: the year. We got that from a friend who just said, yeah,
6:30
Speaker 1: every Christmas we get a new record and we just
6:32
Speaker 1: pick one. Sometimes it's a silly record. Sometimes it's serious music.
6:36
Speaker 1: We got Hamilton a few years ago. We got a
6:38
Speaker 1: Benson Boone and a very silly Jimmy Fallon winter record.
6:44
Speaker 1: I won't even call it a Christmas record because it's
6:46
Speaker 1: not Christmas related at all. Excuse me. But that is
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Speaker 1: very communal. Hadley will put those on and dance by
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Speaker 1: herself in the hallway. Great. Or Are you putting on headphones,
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Speaker 1: noise canceling, running to a corner and disappearing, coming back
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Speaker 1: more relationally distant, not recharged and ready to invest? That's
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Speaker 1: what we're looking for. Emotions, do I need this to
7:09
Speaker 1: be okay? It could be your music, your social media,
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Speaker 1: your video games, or doom scrolling the weather app. That
7:16
Speaker 1: is mine and I wish it wasn't. But when I
7:18
Speaker 1: get stressed and I've got that like awkward amount of time,
7:22
Speaker 1: the example that always leaps to the front of my
7:24
Speaker 1: brain is like, I'm downstairs and I can hear the
7:26
Speaker 1: kids brushing their teeth. They're not quite ready for me,
7:29
Speaker 1: but I like don't want to start any new projects downstairs.
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Speaker 1: There's this awkward, it's like three minutes, maybe four. Like
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Speaker 1: it's not a long time. I could say some prayers.
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Speaker 1: But there's a stress inside me that I just pour
7:43
Speaker 1: into opening my weather app because my phone is so dumb.
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Speaker 1: This is why. I don't have social media. I don't
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Speaker 1: have anything interesting. I don't actually want to bum myself
7:50
Speaker 1: out by looking at world news. So I just check
7:53
Speaker 1: the weather and what's the air quality right now and
7:57
Speaker 1: what is the dew point tomorrow morning. Just useless information
8:01
Speaker 1: that will not help me when I could pause and
8:03
Speaker 1: breathe and turn to the Lord. So for me, it's
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Speaker 1: not the content that's problematic with my emotions. It's this
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Speaker 1: little drips of technology to kind of tamper down, tamp down,
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Speaker 1: excuse me, the stress and the anxiety that I feel.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to recognize that in myself, prayerfully take it
8:24
Speaker 1: to the Lord. I'm going to look for that in
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Speaker 1: my kids and my spouse. But recognize that I'm not
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Speaker 1: saying this to them because I've got it nailed. I'm
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Speaker 1: saying it because I see them go, whoa, that leads
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Speaker 1: to a dark spot. Like you're using your social media
8:36
Speaker 1: to medicate your bad feelings or to bolster your good emotions.
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Speaker 1: Let's talk about what else we could be doing because
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Speaker 1: it's great that you enjoy this. It's not great to
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Speaker 1: enjoy it in the way that it's currently going. This
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Speaker 1: ends in a bad spot when you need the technology
8:50
Speaker 1: to be okay. Then we look at our sleep. Any
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Speaker 1: drool tech in the bedroom, that's one A for sleep.
8:57
Speaker 1: No drool tech in the bedroom. No one needs $ 1, 000
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Speaker 1: alarm clock. Buy something cheap, get the phone out of
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Speaker 1: the bedroom, assuming it's not a medical risk for your child.
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Speaker 1: Just know that that category's there. No smart TVs, no tablets,
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Speaker 1: no school computers, no gaming consoles. These should not be
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Speaker 1: in your child's bedroom. Stop. I mean, stop. Full stop
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Speaker 1: right there. You do not need drool tech in the bedroom.
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Speaker 1: There's zero research or evidence that says it's a net gain.
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Speaker 1: It opens your child to distraction and sleep, overstimulation, which
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Speaker 1: harms their ability to fall asleep and stay asleep, to
9:34
Speaker 1: social connections that can become harmful because children are sleep
9:39
Speaker 1: deprived and people say mean things online, unsafe strangers, to pornography,
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Speaker 1: and Generally to trauma writ large. So no drool tech
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Speaker 1: in the bedroom, especially not at night, even if it's
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Speaker 1: their alarm clock. Find a new way, put this thing
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Speaker 1: to bed downstairs, put it to bed an hour before
10:00
Speaker 1: they go to bed, help them train how they can
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Speaker 1: sleep and be healthy because it's so, so important the
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Speaker 1: older they get. And we don't just grow out of
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Speaker 1: how interesting tech is. We have to train ourselves to
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Speaker 1: use it well and to keep it in its proper place.
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Speaker 1: as Andy Crouch says, in the TechWise family. Parents, as
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Speaker 1: we strive to raise kids who love God and use tech,
10:20
Speaker 1: it's intimidating to look at this next stage of life
10:22
Speaker 1: and think about what academics may look like for them.
10:26
Speaker 1: When you're thinking about college, consider George Fox University for
10:29
Speaker 1: your children because of three things. First, it's going to
10:32
Speaker 1: give you a more intimate, known environment where they have
10:35
Speaker 1: a focus on being known personally, academically, and spiritually. Your
10:39
Speaker 1: child will grow in their faith. 93% of undergrad students
10:43
Speaker 1: at George Fox last year, through the 2025 academic year,
10:47
Speaker 1: said that being at George Fox has helped them grow
10:49
Speaker 1: in their relationship with Jesus. We also want them to
10:52
Speaker 1: grow academically, which means being a part of university with
10:56
Speaker 1: rigorous academic standards and opportunities to be engaged. They have
11:00
Speaker 1: a nationally recognized engineering, nursing, and education programs. as well
11:04
Speaker 1: as chances to study abroad here within the U.S. and
11:06
Speaker 1: then internationally. And finally, personally, to be part of a
11:09
Speaker 1: vibrant campus atmosphere where you can play intramural sports or
11:13
Speaker 1: part of their NCAA Division III athletic programs with 23
11:17
Speaker 1: sports available. The goal here is to go to a
11:22
Speaker 1: place that's going to support your goals, not try to
11:24
Speaker 1: make you support theirs. To have that goal be to
11:28
Speaker 1: raise you up to be all God's called you to
11:30
Speaker 1: be and to truly equip your young person with my,
11:34
Speaker 1: in my case, my sons or my daughter to love
11:37
Speaker 1: God and then from their love of God to go
11:39
Speaker 1: wherever God has called them. And that includes being equipped
11:41
Speaker 1: with a degree that will help them do that, to
11:43
Speaker 1: be missionally equipped to love and serve others, to lead
11:46
Speaker 1: where God has planted them in, to know the gospel
11:48
Speaker 1: for themselves and be able to share it with others.
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Speaker 1: So George Fox University is an amazing resource for our kids,
11:54
Speaker 1: for our community here in the Northwest, and for anyone
11:56
Speaker 1: who's looking to raise up a young person who can
11:59
Speaker 1: love God. And from that, Love others. So we have relationships, emotions,
12:03
Speaker 1: and sleep. Sleep being just across the board. And I
12:07
Speaker 1: will say this, e-readers are like the little gray area.
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Speaker 1: I understand if you use them and that's fine. I
12:16
Speaker 1: don't love the light thing about them. Okay. Most e-readers, however,
12:20
Speaker 1: have browser features. There are some parental controls, but at
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Speaker 1: the end of the day, rather than trying to stay
12:27
Speaker 1: on top of every update that might change settings or whatever,
12:30
Speaker 1: Just buy your kid a physical book and say, this
12:32
Speaker 1: is your bedtime book. You might have a kid like
12:35
Speaker 1: I have who reads just at night a book every
12:39
Speaker 1: three days. It's neat. Good for him. That's cool. That
12:45
Speaker 1: gets expensive and it's cheaper than counseling and it's much
12:49
Speaker 1: cheaper than any kind of protection I can meaningfully put
12:53
Speaker 1: on that device. I want to make sure that my
12:58
Speaker 1: children have an opportunity to enjoy good books and they
13:01
Speaker 1: can read and kind of bring their intensity down to
13:05
Speaker 1: something that's an analog adventure reading at the pace of
13:08
Speaker 1: real life. And I get it. I would just encourage
13:10
Speaker 1: you to not give them a personal device at night
13:13
Speaker 1: and to go for a single book. And even if
13:15
Speaker 1: you're buying a book every three to four days, use
13:17
Speaker 1: your library, borrow from friends. We have very gracious friends
13:20
Speaker 1: that let us borrow like whole stacks of books we
13:22
Speaker 1: haven't read. I think the spike school series was the
13:25
Speaker 1: one that he was recently powering through. Great, he borrowed
13:28
Speaker 1: like eight of those or whatever from a friend, and
13:30
Speaker 1: he swapped a series with that friend. Cool. But maybe
13:33
Speaker 1: that's not you. Go to the library. Maybe the library
13:36
Speaker 1: is not an option. Think about buying them. Think about
13:39
Speaker 1: buying them and selling them. Once you've read them, just
13:41
Speaker 1: go to used book and buy it, sell it for
13:43
Speaker 1: half price. Like there are ways around this. I know
13:46
Speaker 1: it takes some legwork. I'm not belittling that. E-readers are
13:48
Speaker 1: my gray area. But I love just the clear line
13:53
Speaker 1: of we're not going to do any entertainment technology, even
13:57
Speaker 1: though you're, There might be an e-reader that has no
13:59
Speaker 1: internet and that you physically upload it or have to
14:02
Speaker 1: like airdrop it. I'm not familiar with that device. Let
14:04
Speaker 1: me know about that. But I'm thinking of like the paperwhite.
14:07
Speaker 1: And there is still like browser features and access to
14:09
Speaker 1: a library where just the cover art can scar your
14:12
Speaker 1: brain pretty quick. So that's all I'll say on those. Relationships, emotions, sleep, enjoyment.
14:21
Speaker 1: this is the picture of this technology coming into your
14:24
Speaker 1: child and you go, you know what? Does he just
14:25
Speaker 1: really like it? Like he's really into coding and he
14:27
Speaker 1: seems to really like coding on this or he is
14:30
Speaker 1: making things in this CAD program and he's using it
14:32
Speaker 1: on the 3D printer. Like he's spending a lot of
14:34
Speaker 1: time in front of a screen though or she really loves,
14:36
Speaker 1: I'm thinking of specific kids, she really loves writing and
14:39
Speaker 1: she's amazing. She writes lyrics, she writes music, she writes stories.
14:43
Speaker 1: That's so cool. Is that the same? Well, maybe. Like
14:47
Speaker 1: you can use your creative efforts in such a way
14:50
Speaker 1: that you become unhealthy. And you need to figure out
14:52
Speaker 1: how to diversify your life and experience the joy God's
14:55
Speaker 1: called you to. We're not asking kids to use their
14:57
Speaker 1: God-given talents in a self-destructive way. So maybe your kid's musical,
15:02
Speaker 1: but don't let them torpedo their life with their band.
15:05
Speaker 1: Help them figure out what balance looks like. Your kid
15:07
Speaker 1: might be athletic. That doesn't mean they should trade in
15:09
Speaker 1: their health and their wellness in order to be a
15:12
Speaker 1: top-tier athlete. In the same way, if your child really
15:17
Speaker 1: enjoys this technology, that's wonderful. What we're looking for is
15:20
Speaker 1: if this technology eclipses their other joys. And those begin
15:25
Speaker 1: to wilt because this has become their all-consuming passion and desire.
15:29
Speaker 1: So I know a young man who's very into videography
15:32
Speaker 1: right now, and he could spend all of his time
15:34
Speaker 1: recording and editing. And that's wonderful. And it's not the
15:38
Speaker 1: recording and editing that's causing this to happen. He just
15:40
Speaker 1: has a passion and an interest. Very cool. And we're
15:45
Speaker 1: not just raising young professionals. We are raising healthy adults.
15:48
Speaker 1: And to be healthy, he also needs to figure out
15:51
Speaker 1: how to exercise and how to keep his friends and
15:53
Speaker 1: how to be a good family member and like do
15:56
Speaker 1: the other things in life that don't come so easily
15:57
Speaker 1: and he might not be so passionate about. So as
16:00
Speaker 1: we think through this, that's what we're looking for. Your enjoyment.
16:03
Speaker 1: Is it just something you're very passionate for and you
16:05
Speaker 1: want to keep working on and we get it and
16:07
Speaker 1: we're going to lovingly put things around. Right now we
16:09
Speaker 1: have a young person who's very passionate about friends and
16:12
Speaker 1: every day it's like, can I get around friends? Can
16:14
Speaker 1: I get around friends? Can I get around friends? Yes.
16:16
Speaker 1: And we're going to encourage you in these other areas too.
16:20
Speaker 1: So it's not just technology this happens for, but the
16:21
Speaker 1: reset works really, really well. When that new technology comes in,
16:25
Speaker 1: the one they've been asking for, the ones all the
16:27
Speaker 1: friends have, or that one you just, your test floating,
16:29
Speaker 1: because they were ready in the little things. They've been faithful.
16:32
Speaker 1: They've asked for it. They're old enough. You've decided it's
16:34
Speaker 1: safe and ready. And now you're looking to see, is
16:37
Speaker 1: it good? And you see the enjoyment start to pivot
16:40
Speaker 1: a little. They always need a little more time. They
16:43
Speaker 1: always need a little more intensity. They're asking more often.
16:47
Speaker 1: They're becoming less satisfied in the rest of life. They're
16:49
Speaker 1: not doing their other hobbies, interests. They're skipping their friends.
16:52
Speaker 1: They're hustling through their sports. They're not doing their schoolwork.
16:57
Speaker 1: They're complaining a lot more. These are the things we're
17:00
Speaker 1: looking for, for enjoyment, narrowing and getting pulled into the
17:05
Speaker 1: black hole that is this new technology in their life.
17:08
Speaker 1: So that's what we're looking for, for enjoyment. And if
17:10
Speaker 1: it's happening, you can just say, Hey, I've noticed ever
17:13
Speaker 1: since we've gotten that app, that game, that show, that
17:17
Speaker 1: piece of technology, I've noticed you don't seem to be
17:20
Speaker 1: enjoying these other things anymore. You can ask them what's happening.
17:23
Speaker 1: If they're really young, you got like a seven-year-old who
17:26
Speaker 1: doesn't know. They might just go, whatever. That other stuff's lame.
17:28
Speaker 1: This is awesome. This was literally one of the responses
17:30
Speaker 1: with the video game thing I had mentioned earlier. Someone's like, yeah,
17:33
Speaker 1: but I like video games so much because real life
17:35
Speaker 1: is lame. And my response was, okay, what could we
17:38
Speaker 1: do to make real life more awesome? Like, just because
17:42
Speaker 1: you have found that video games are insanely exciting and
17:45
Speaker 1: you don't like real life anymore, I wonder if that's
17:48
Speaker 1: actually a real life problem or if that's a you
17:51
Speaker 1: and video games problem. Like, I'm not convinced just based
17:55
Speaker 1: on that experience. I agree, video games are really exciting.
17:58
Speaker 1: And if they're so exciting that real life isn't worth
18:01
Speaker 1: joining anymore... What could we do to make real life
18:04
Speaker 1: more exciting? I want that question to our children who
18:07
Speaker 1: are struggling. Like, hey, I love that this music helps
18:09
Speaker 1: you feel calm or brings you enjoyment or ties you
18:11
Speaker 1: in with your friends or really explains your experience. What
18:14
Speaker 1: could we do to make that part of our real
18:16
Speaker 1: life or bring the show into our enjoyment of real life?
18:20
Speaker 1: Because there's an answer there somewhere. Sometimes it means we
18:24
Speaker 1: actually remove the unhealthy technology because it's bringing out bad
18:28
Speaker 1: fruit by itself. And sometimes... It's just symptomatic of the
18:32
Speaker 1: season or whatever's going on and we just need to
18:35
Speaker 1: keep it in its place and then walk away and
18:37
Speaker 1: go to the other parts of life. So some analog
18:40
Speaker 1: adventures coming in there for the win. Finally, it's time.
18:44
Speaker 1: And the time is just, can we be content? Can
18:46
Speaker 1: we be okay with just using this technology when it's
18:50
Speaker 1: awesome and then stepping away and enjoying the rest of
18:53
Speaker 1: life when it's awesome? And if we can't, is that
18:56
Speaker 1: because of how we're enjoying it or when we're enjoying
18:58
Speaker 1: it or the amount of time or the type of
19:01
Speaker 1: content we're enjoying, or is it some other answer, there
19:08
Speaker 1: is a chance that we remove the unhealthy tech and
19:10
Speaker 1: we replace it with something that's going to be better.
19:13
Speaker 1: Not because there's anything morally wrong necessarily about this technology,
19:16
Speaker 1: but because it's unhealthy for you. So when I look
19:19
Speaker 1: at a kid, or excuse me, when I get asked
19:21
Speaker 1: by a parent, is my kid's tech just different? We
19:24
Speaker 1: look at a reset. And if your child's relationships and
19:27
Speaker 1: emotions and sleep and enjoyment and time are all healthy
19:29
Speaker 1: and growing in reasonable ways, right? It's not all right
19:33
Speaker 1: and up in life or childhood. Instead, a lot of
19:38
Speaker 1: this is, you know, we're having a bad day. Is
19:40
Speaker 1: this bad day based on technology or is technology just
19:43
Speaker 1: present for it? You will know because two weeks later,
19:47
Speaker 1: if we haven't had any improvement and that tech is rampant,
19:50
Speaker 1: up and everything else is diving, so the more tech
19:53
Speaker 1: that's entering the picture, the worse this behavior or reaction
19:56
Speaker 1: is getting, we've got a pretty firm answer. Like 90%
20:00
Speaker 1: of families can tell like, yeah, we have an issue
20:02
Speaker 1: with this technology. It's regularly an issue. It's unlike anything
20:06
Speaker 1: else in our family. Yes, we have arguments about what
20:08
Speaker 1: we're going to eat tonight. Yes, we have arguments about
20:10
Speaker 1: going to bed or school or sports. But this is different.
20:14
Speaker 1: Like this is always more intense. It's always more consistent.
20:21
Speaker 1: Like we can sense it coming, right? It's Thursday night
20:24
Speaker 1: and we know we're going to have a fight about
20:26
Speaker 1: this thing. So that's what we're talking about. Reset helps
20:29
Speaker 1: in that to bring up that fight without starting another one.
20:32
Speaker 1: Just saying, hey, I've noticed you seem to be fighting
20:35
Speaker 1: a lot about this. The area I'm seeing it in
20:37
Speaker 1: your life is in your relationships or in your emotions.
20:41
Speaker 1: Do you see that? If you don't, that's part of
20:44
Speaker 1: the conversation too. Like maybe this child has no concept
20:47
Speaker 1: and you go, interesting. Well, that's concerning. Here's what we're
20:49
Speaker 1: going to do. You can always take time away from
20:52
Speaker 1: your technology without hurting your child. You can do a
20:55
Speaker 1: cold turkey. You will not break them. And if something
20:58
Speaker 1: negative happens, like they get really, really mad, Just know
21:01
Speaker 1: there is a time to go get professional care. There's
21:03
Speaker 1: time to step in and get a counselor. There's time
21:05
Speaker 1: to go ask your pastoral team to pray with you
21:08
Speaker 1: and for you and talk you through this. It doesn't
21:10
Speaker 1: mean the tech is the problem. Sometimes the tech is
21:13
Speaker 1: masking a really unhealthy part of your child. Maybe they've
21:16
Speaker 1: done something and they have lots of guilt and shame.
21:18
Speaker 1: Maybe something's happened to them. Maybe they're just super anxious
21:22
Speaker 1: or super upset or they're dealing with anger and they
21:25
Speaker 1: don't know what to do with these feelings and so
21:27
Speaker 1: they just stuff them into video games. I don't know.
21:30
Speaker 1: but neither will you unless you ask. So prayerfully lean
21:33
Speaker 1: into these conversations. Find what's happening with your child. Recognize
21:37
Speaker 1: that sometimes life is just different. Your child just might
21:39
Speaker 1: have passions you don't have. And you will know that
21:42
Speaker 1: by going, you know what? They're doing fine in it.
21:45
Speaker 1: They're interested, the young man with the videos, right? Like, great.
21:47
Speaker 1: He's very passionate about it and he's fine with it.
21:50
Speaker 1: He might even be playing video games. Okay, he's able
21:53
Speaker 1: to get his stuff done and he's able to have
21:55
Speaker 1: fun with his friends and the fruit is good. He's
21:57
Speaker 1: producing love and joy and self-control. Okay. And sometimes that's
22:02
Speaker 1: not the case. We lovingly step in parents. You have
22:04
Speaker 1: every right to remove unhealthy texts. Say we're going to
22:07
Speaker 1: come back to this in a month, a month, because
22:08
Speaker 1: it's about how long it takes for your brain to
22:11
Speaker 1: reset the ability to feel pleasure at the pace of
22:15
Speaker 1: your life is the short version. It takes around two weeks,
22:18
Speaker 1: but that next two weeks is like the recalibrating pleasure.
22:22
Speaker 1: So go with just the full month. Um, I hope
22:26
Speaker 1: that this is encouraging. Remember, reset is a great way
22:28
Speaker 1: to check the emotional well-being of your child and say,
22:31
Speaker 1: is this technology just different or is it a distraction?
22:34
Speaker 1: I hope it helps. Check out our other videos to
22:36
Speaker 1: see if you can get some more resources on how
22:38
Speaker 1: we can use the best tech well. And I hope
22:40
Speaker 1: this helps you love God, raise kids in a tech world,
22:44
Speaker 1: and raise them to love God and to use tech.
22:47
Speaker 1: I look forward to talking to you more about this
22:48
Speaker 1: next week. Talk to you then. Thank you.