Latest / Authentic Living / Presentation Rockstars and the ROR: Return On Relationships (Part II) with David Thomas

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Presentation Rockstars and the ROR: Return On Relationships (Part II) with David Thomas · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:11
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  Our interview last week was so good that we decided to turn it into a 2 part series.
• 0:41
  If you missed last week, you'll find the link in the show notes.
• 0:45
  It's not mandatory that you listen, but we wanna make sure that you don't miss out on this
• 0:51
  amazing conversation.
• 0:54
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:54
  It's Roxanne Duraj.
• 0:55
  How are you again today?
• 0:57
  I'm glad everybody's tuning in.
• 0:59
  Today, I have, David Thomas, and you said you're based in Halifax.
• 1:06
  North London?
• 1:06
  Is that where it's telling you
• 1:08
  exactly?
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  The north of England.
• 1:10
  North of England.
• 1:11
  Yeah.
• 1:12
  I said London.
• 1:13
  I just I just took what you said.
• 1:16
  So he is an expert.
• 1:19
  Now you're talking a little bit about, your background.
• 1:22
  Is it that you you're a memory expert?
• 1:24
  Is that what I read?
• 1:25
  Something to do with memory.
• 1:27
  So so tell me about that.
• 1:28
  I was reading a little bit about your background, and we'll talk a little bit about
• 1:31
  what we're gonna chat about today.
• 1:34
  Well, my background is that I had a a troubled child that never went to college got kicked out
• 1:39
  at school, working in a factory for, like, $2 an hour.
• 1:42
  And then I joined the fire service.
• 1:44
  And when I was in the fire service, I had trouble passing my exams.
• 1:48
  And one day, I saw a guy memorized Packer playing cards on TV, but it's taught myself how
• 1:52
  to do it.
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  8 months later, I went to the world memory championships came forth, found a just steady
• 1:58
  gift.
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  And then everybody's like, how do you do this memory stuff?
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  And I thought it's just that easy.
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  It's a few techniques, and they gotta teach me the techniques.
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  And so back in February 9 1997, they gave me first talk.
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  And for the following, and then very soon after that, I'll have to fire service broker again
• 2:14
  this record.
• 2:15
  And then and then that was for 15 years.
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  And then in 2011, somebody came out for an audience and just said, would I show them how
• 2:23
  to improve their presentation skills?
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  I said, I don't do that.
• 2:27
  That's not my bag.
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  And she said, I want you to do it.
• 2:30
  And I said, why?
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  And she says, because you are brutally honest, and you are a fantastic speaker, if you can
• 2:36
  reverse engineer what you do, then I think you can show me how to be a better speaker.
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  I said fantastic.
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  I'll do anything, mate.
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  I'll have a go at anything once.
• 2:45
  Right?
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  Just pretty much anything.
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  And I said, right.
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  We'll have a go.
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  I said, if it's rubbish, do it, apparently?
• 2:50
  And even to this day, I've got the a video testimonial, and she said, this was great.
• 2:55
  So then I moved away from the brain training, the memory mind mapping, and so on.
• 3:00
  Moved over towards the, all pretty much all towards presentation skills, mainly working
• 3:06
  with C suite, middle to senior management, and about half of what the work I do is with the
• 3:11
  boss.
• 3:12
  And I and this this was interesting as well.
• 3:14
  I said, I said, right.
• 3:16
  We've got 3 major problems.
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  You're doing that.
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  Your start is terrible.
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  You need to do this.
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  You dissen this.
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  And he said, mate, you you need to get this stuff sorted.
• 3:24
  And he looked at me and went, I'm glad I met you.
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  And I said, why?
• 3:27
  Said, because my I be I always ask my team.
• 3:31
  Oh, I see.
• 3:32
  I always ask my team how I'm doing them.
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  They go, yeah.
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  You're doing great boss.
• 3:36
  Yeah.
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  You're doing great.
• 3:38
  Because he's just dead.
• 3:41
  You're asking feedback from your team and what, you know, I've I've heard you know, so many
• 3:46
  people share those things, David, when they talk about, oh, you know, we did this this, you
• 3:50
  know, external consultant came in and everything is good.
• 3:53
  But everybody at the senior team is like they're falling like flies, but they're telling
• 3:58
  the CEO that everything is fantastic, right, because people are afraid to you know, tell the
• 4:03
  person that say is running the organization or the senior leader what what really is wrong.
• 4:10
  Right?
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  So I think your approach as much as it's direct, it must work for some people because
• 4:16
  you need to hear what you're not doing well.
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  And how often might they get coached to be able to get told that?
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  I mean, I I don't get work.
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  Blind.
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  Pee people I get referrals and recommendations or people come back and use me often again.
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  I I you know, I don't get work.
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  People know what I'm like.
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  And I'm I'm never aggressive.
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  I am never rude.
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  I am never obnoxious.
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  I don't swear at my clients.
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  I don't embarrass them.
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  I don't make them feel small.
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  But I am bullet straight.
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  And every chief exec loves it.
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  Male and female, 50% of my clients are female.
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  They love it because they just don't get it anywhere else anywhere else at all.
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  The share, you know, they could be running a company and have a board of directors, and
• 5:00
  they'll sit in front of the board of directors.
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  They then have to leave the room while the board of directors talks about them.
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  I mean, you know, that that's why being a chief exec is the best and worst job in the world.
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  Because you've just you it's completely isolated.
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  You really you know, if you tell if you if you look weak, if you're asking for advice from
• 5:18
  your subordinates, and and and yet, how do you improve?
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  And if you do, there's always a line.
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  It don't I mean, it's the same in any relationship.
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  You know, I have you know, Karen, my soulmate.
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  Right?
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  We live together.
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  And, you know, she she's she's everything to me, but there really is very little the the the
• 5:39
  I'll I'll rephrase it.
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  There really is only so far I can go with Karen before she would just break down in the heap on
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  the floor.
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  And it's not very much.
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  She's softer than, you know, a Labrador puppy dog.
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  You know what I mean?
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  She's just softer me.
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  I'm, like, honestly, I love brutal honesty.
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  I love I love humor.
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  It's pitch black.
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  There's almost nothing you could say to me.
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  You're nothing you could say to me too upsetting.
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  Are offended by.
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  But Karen, she's really soft.
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  So everybody has a line over you, which you can.
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  You won't cross.
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  And everybody says they like honesty, but they're doing.
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  They like their version of honesty.
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  Right.
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  Absolutely.
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  And, you know, with the like, my new book, I do an assessment of the qualities that it takes
• 6:20
  for a leader to be more resilient within him or herself so that he but they're doing an
• 6:25
  assessment on themselves, but their team's doing it on them as well.
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  And oftentimes, what do we do?
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  Right?
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  A lot of people, they have blind spots, right, because they don't wanna kinda see it.
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  We're very good at seeing our positives, but not so good.
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  At being vulnerable enough to see our negatives.
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  But when the team does the assessment and then the leader does the assessment, we collate both
• 6:45
  of both of those things.
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  That's when the leader really sees Wow.
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  I'm thinking I'm really good with, say, recognition or I'm good with communication, but
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  my team's saying, I've given myself, say, 80% of my team's saying, I'm 20%, there's a
• 6:59
  disparity, obviously, that at that point is showing the leader that he or she needs to
• 7:03
  start looking at what they're not doing They do again, getting out of their subjective world
• 7:08
  and getting into the objective world of the people that they're leading a realm of, and
• 7:11
  what do they need differently from them?
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  So it's it's interesting that you say that about, with some of these senior leaders.
• 7:19
  Who's who's telling them what the reality is about what they're not good at?
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  Not many people to your point.
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  Right?
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  So let's let's talk about I'm a leader I come to you.
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  And, what are you how are you assessing my capacity, to see how I communicate what I'm
• 7:42
  good at, what I'm not good at.
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  So do you tailor, your kind of way you work one to one with individuals, or is it like a road
• 7:49
  to, like you said, a 22 step process.
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  What what do you do with someone?
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  Well, about 80% of my work is is guys who come to me people who come to me male, female,
• 8:01
  everybody, and they have a specific talk they wanna give.
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  Okay.
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  So, like, tonight, I've been working with a guy.
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  He's got a talking Barcelona in 2 weeks, and it's 50 minutes long.
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  And he's like, how do I make this Amazing.
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  And we go through it bit by bit.
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  And so the going through the 22 stages is not necessary.
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  What I'll do is I'll sit down and go right.
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  You you've got 60 seconds to grab the retention.
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  What's your one lightning rub theme?
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  What is your one theme?
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  You can only have one.
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  I don't care if you're speaking for 15 minutes or 15 hours, you can only have one.
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  What is your one likely role thinking with a gut?
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  Right.
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  Okay.
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  So what it does is it focuses their mind.
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  And then I sit there and I go, what are the three areas that you would like to cover in
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  your talk that feed up into that one lightning rod theme, and that's what we do.
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  So, you know, with this guy, the one lightning rod theme is uniting.
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  So it's got 16 different units across the world.
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  It's bringing them together into one section.
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  So it's about unity.
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  That's that one lightning rod thing.
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  The three things that go underneath it are motivation strategy and resilience.
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  And so what we've done is we worked out, you know, so the first five minutes is talking
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  about motivation, how they're doing really well, what the numbers are, and, you know,
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  success strategy is about how they're gonna implement, bringing everybody together, and
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  resilience is, you know, you know, how it's gonna work in the long term and how they're
• 9:18
  gonna work in terms of the leadership.
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  And so what I do is we do that and we go through it bit by bit.
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  But the fact is that I'm in a place now where I've been doing this for 12 years as a coach,
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  and I've never found so far that not had anybody who's been able to present as well as
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  me.
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  Or who's been able to write a script as well as me.
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  So instantly, the moment somebody gives me a script to go, well, actually, if we did that,
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  So I'll give you a quick example.
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  So tonight, you said to me, I've got seventy four people in the room, and we've got about
• 9:48
  maybe 14 or 15 of them are leaders.
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  And what I want them to do is stand up.
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  And, you know, and I want them to be recognized in the room.
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  I said brilliant.
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  So I want you to stand I'm gonna stand him up I'm gonna spend a couple of minutes talking
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  about what we're gonna do with these guys' leadership.
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  I said that's a terrible idea.
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  And he says, why?
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  I said, would you wanna stand up for 2 minutes in silence while everybody is looking at you?
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  They went, no.
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  I said, then that's not what we're gonna do.
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  We'll get them to stand up.
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  You say who they are, and they remain amazing.
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  Everybody goes around in applause.
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  Then they sit down.
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  Then you do the 2 minutes.
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  It went, that's brilliant.
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  That's the dip.
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  That's my 25 years, half a million people, 60 countries, drilled into me, watching people
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  being a speaker, every audience you can imagine, I understand that.
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  And he's a he was he's a brilliant speaker that's going to work with, actually.
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  But he wants to just be is is a 9 out of 10, but he wants to be 10.
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  He wants to be Roxanne.
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  And so that is, you know, that was a simple example And it's a so sometimes he's already
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  got a speech like that.
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  We go through it line by line, and that changed what needs to be changed.
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  So do you find that a lot of the keynotes so it's a keynote speech at that point, or is it
• 10:59
  just like a speech to, a company?
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  So do you do different types?
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  You do keynotes.
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  You do a leaders are speaking at quarterly meetings, board meetings, every type all types
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  of speaking, David.
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  It's only important speaking because pay me fee for a small for a small talk.
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  I mean, why would you?
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  You know, I can't, you know, I charge a fortune.
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  So they're not gonna pay that.
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  They're not gonna pay that for you know, has to have a level of importance.
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  Right.
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  Besides besides which, you know, by the time you get a get a boss who's a chief exec, He's
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  done a million team meetings.
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  Right.
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  Right.
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  For sure.
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  But he he's maybe only done 2 board meetings.
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  Mhmm.
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  And, you know, honestly, I could go on forever, but, you know, there are big talks.
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  It's people who've who've got a talk to giving Budapest like I had earlier this year.
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  And it's, you know, it's Budapest.
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  She's she was, she's taken over the family firm.
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  They've got a new new product.
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  If it doesn't work, it's gonna go under.
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  You know, she's nervous.
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  Right?
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  She's nervous, but excited, but she needs to nail that talk.
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  She needs to nail it.
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  And so we sit there and we're working on that's an important talk, you know, Eddy guy who is in
• 12:10
  Monaco, and he we spent 2 hours last week because he's just he's just he wanted just a
• 12:17
  bit of an assistance on a small talk, actually, that he's given a monthly meeting.
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  But we've worked together before, like, 14 to 15 times.
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  And he just said, you know, I need a bit of help, Dave.
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  I'm not really sure what to do with this.
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  So it shows me a few slides, and then I say, right.
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  But it's an important meeting because his staff have doubled in a in a year from 250 to 500.
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  Over the next year, it's gonna be 500, maybe a 1000.
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  It's had 10 years.
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  It's entirely possible a guy is gonna be a billionaire.
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  It's just he's just insane what they're doing.
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  It's a privately held company, and he started it started it at 14 on his bedroom table.
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  So the thing is that the the the, you know, sometimes it's a single very, very important
• 12:59
  talk.
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  Or in his case, it's getting to the stage where he's got so many members of staff.
• 13:04
  That spread all over the world that every time he even does something like a monthly meeting,
• 13:08
  it has a massive ripple across the company.
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  So, therefore, it's still important just in a different way.
• 13:14
  So do you teach things differently?
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  Like you say, with this particular person that you just coach, they may have multinationals or
• 13:22
  people all over the world, and some of them are in person, some of their art.
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  Is there a strategy that you also teach about how to engage if they're if everybody's not in
• 13:32
  the room and, unfortunately, they're live with some people and it, you know, in other pieces,
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  some of them are virtual.
• 13:39
  Yes.
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  I mean, the guy the guy in Monaco got in touch with me first in lockdown.
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  He how he he'd he'd been used to flying everywhere all over the world of meeting his
• 13:49
  team, and then he got in touch with me about 3 months into lockdown.
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  And he he saw my podcast.
• 13:54
  He got in touch, and he said, I've listened to your podcast.
• 13:57
  How much are you?
• 13:57
  And I said and I said this much.
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  And he said, I wanna do 6 months because I just don't know what to do.
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  I don't know how to present to on Zoom really effectively.
• 14:07
  He said I've done it once I don't know if it's any good.
• 14:09
  That's his issue.
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  So I
• 14:11
  said send send me a copy of the video.
• 14:13
  So it sends me a copy of the video, and it's 40 minutes long.
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  And so we have the first meeting.
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  He said, what do you think?
• 14:20
  And I said, well, it's twice as long as it needs to be.
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  He says, I can't cut 50% out.
• 14:25
  I said, yes, you can.
• 14:26
  Then he said to then I said to him, I said, I can give you a 40 minute talk in 3 minutes.
• 14:33
  And he goes, I don't think you can do that.
• 14:35
  And I said, if I can't do it in 3 minutes so that it makes sense, I'll give you all the
• 14:40
  money back you paid me, which is 5 figures.
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  He went off.
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  He got that.
• 14:43
  And I did it 3 minutes, and he went, that was incredible.
• 14:46
  He said, no.
• 14:47
  I can see how I can do it in 20 minutes.
• 14:48
  Every single one after that was 20 minutes, Then eventually, when they came out of
• 14:52
  lockdown, they had a conference this year in Croatia, the senior management team I was
• 14:57
  working with 7 of them.
• 14:58
  Told everybody.
• 14:59
  And I was invited that went over there.
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  We did it on Zoom and then and so on.
• 15:03
  And the first thing that happened when I met all this senior team was good, said, you know
• 15:07
  what?
• 15:08
  Nick was great after he'd spent some time with you.
• 15:11
  Is is there a short trip?
• 15:12
  It was this.
• 15:13
  It was this and that and the and the other.
• 15:15
  So the thing is that I don't I have I have a process, like, with the management team this
• 15:21
  week, where I have the nine people who are really nervous, we go through a process because
• 15:26
  they'd have a specific talk to give.
• 15:28
  So I've got 2 days a month apart.
• 15:30
  Half of it is on the 1st day.
• 15:32
  Then the second half is in is in 3 weeks, and that's when I go through the 22 stage process.
• 15:37
  Now I do monitor modify it for them.
• 15:39
  So I've had a chat with the boss.
• 15:40
  He tells me what kind of work they do.
• 15:42
  Everybody's in different departments.
• 15:44
  Some are in tech, finance.
• 15:45
  Some are in tech because we're across the whole company.
• 15:48
  But they all have to give presentations now to the directors and the board.
• 15:52
  Therefore.
• 15:53
  Okay.
• 15:54
  So you have a specific so if someone's presenting in person, but they also have people
• 15:59
  virtually.
• 15:59
  There's things that you teach them to engage differently versus if they're
• 16:03
  Yeah.
• 16:03
  Yeah.
• 16:04
  Yeah.
• 16:05
  What are some of the what are some of those things that maybe leaders listening might,
• 16:11
  might be good.
• 16:11
  If you're doing a hybrid where you've got people in the room and you've got people on
• 16:15
  online.
• 16:16
  The most important the the single most important thing to do is recognize the people
• 16:20
  online.
• 16:21
  So oddly enough, the firm that I've just been talking about in Croatia that are based in
• 16:25
  Monaco and that I worked with them in Croatia.
• 16:29
  They invited me last December to do a keynote motivational speech to the whole company.
• 16:34
  And I, well, I did it in London.
• 16:36
  There's only fifty in the room, but it's, like, 300 online.
• 16:39
  So what it is is 300 people is a a camera down the middle.
• 16:42
  And but the most important thing you've got to do is look down about leather lens.
• 16:47
  So
• 16:47
  what you do is as you go around the room, you do your normal eye contact, but remember this
• 16:51
  300 cool.
• 16:52
  And so what you do is you look at, you know, like, I'm looking at you, I'm I'm looking at
• 16:56
  the camera.
• 16:57
  So what I'll do is I'm looking around the room, doing my usual thing, and then I come back to
• 17:00
  the camera.
• 17:01
  And even when I'm saying, and you guys out there in on zoom land.
• 17:05
  Yeah.
• 17:05
  Welcome.
• 17:05
  Thank you for coming.
• 17:06
  Yes, you.
• 17:07
  I'm talking to you Sunshine.
• 17:08
  And that's what you do.
• 17:09
  So you make sure that you engage them because you forget the cameras there.
• 17:13
  You forget people are online, and the most important thing is to engage them as well.
• 17:18
  Absolutely.
• 17:18
  Like, you're looking right at me.
• 17:19
  I'm probably looking away because of where my camera is.
• 17:22
  But so let's talk about, let's say, leaders that are listening.
• 17:26
  Right?
• 17:26
  And they're saying, Yeah.
• 17:28
  Well, we invested speaking.
• 17:31
  Or we get, you know, we do professional development and but, you know, I don't know
• 17:36
  that I've seen the return in the trading dollars that we've used.
• 17:41
  What what kind of guidance would you give them?
• 17:43
  Nobody's ever come to me wanting a return on investment that was of a financial basis in 12
• 17:50
  years of doing this.
• 17:51
  They just wanted to be a better speaker.
• 17:54
  Okay.
• 17:55
  Which was which is which has been interesting.
• 17:59
  Yeah.
• 17:59
  Because I would think it would be the flip, David, because let's say so you're saying that
• 18:04
  they come because you you they walk them to get along better, or they want them to speak
• 18:08
  better?
• 18:08
  What what is it?
• 18:09
  Most people that come to you.
• 18:11
  What what's the what's the triage point in?
• 18:13
  For you.
• 18:14
  So
• 18:15
  They they have a pain point.
• 18:16
  They do have a pain point, but they can't they can't articulate it financially.
• 18:21
  So for example, you know, when the when the when the lady came to me and said, I'm speaking
• 18:26
  in Budapest, and I'm delivering this keynote speech, and I've gotta nail it because I need
• 18:31
  to sell my product.
• 18:32
  We didn't she didn't turn around and say, I'm gonna expend X amount on you to get 10x back in
• 18:37
  terms of the product sales.
• 18:38
  She just said, I understand it's worth investing in you.
• 18:43
  Just even if it's only on the off transfer, I'm gonna get more sales.
• 18:46
  I've never had anybody in 12 years, but that's dealing with the boss.
• 18:50
  They don't really work on those kind of metrics.
• 18:53
  That the problem is if I'm speaking to the Well, the this is fascinating.
• 18:57
  Right?
• 18:58
  So I worked with Derhodge fund 5 years ago, and he came to me and he said, right.
• 19:02
  We have to pitch And we, you know, we we've, you know, we've got 500,000,000 assets under
• 19:07
  management.
• 19:07
  We're trying to get it to a 1,000,000,000.
• 19:09
  We think you can help.
• 19:11
  So I spent 2 days for these guys, and it was a 4 members of the management team.
• 19:15
  So it's just chief investment officer chief ops officer, chief financial officer, chief exec.
• 19:21
  Right?
• 19:21
  And so we spent 2 days together, and they paid me x amount of money.
• 19:25
  And it was a lot of money.
• 19:27
  And they could and they they were there because they were out there in front to pension funds,
• 19:31
  trying to get the money off them to invest.
• 19:33
  They then said would you speak to our the leadership team underneath the ones who are in
• 19:39
  charge of each individual section?
• 19:40
  We've got, like, 10.
• 19:41
  I said, yes.
• 19:43
  They said, would you give us a discount?
• 19:46
  And I said, why?
• 19:49
  And they went, Well, they're like, the leaders of the, you know, they they they they just
• 19:54
  kinda see new managers.
• 19:56
  And I go, But you paid this much for 4 of you, and you wanted me to pay you wanted to pay me
• 20:03
  less for 10 And and it and it just went.
• 20:08
  Yeah.
• 20:10
  So what's interesting is that on some level, they see they they have a metric inside their
• 20:16
  head that is based on some kind of notional return on investment.
• 20:22
  But the the lower down the food chain you get at work, the less they see that return in
• 20:28
  investment, and therefore, the more they want a discount.
• 20:30
  And that's happened a few times.
• 20:32
  So the chief exec funds up and he goes, I've got this big talk to give how much I am.
• 20:36
  I'm gonna like this much and he go, that's a lot of money.
• 20:38
  And I always say the same thing.
• 20:39
  I'll find you something cheaper, and they go, no.
• 20:42
  It's fine.
• 20:43
  I'll just use you.
• 20:43
  So they they they make a decision.
• 20:45
  So, right, when when can we do it?
• 20:47
  And most of them commit to come to my house.
• 20:48
  I don't even have to leave the house.
• 20:50
  It is brilliant.
• 20:51
  Right?
• 20:51
  No trouble.
• 20:52
  Come on.
• 20:53
  I I love I love no traveling.
• 20:55
  I've done too many hotels and too much travel.
• 20:57
  I'll do it for the right work, but I'm happy that, you know, a bit more work at home.
• 21:03
  And so they just made that decision, and it's just that's it.
• 21:06
  So in their head, there's a re you know, the pay the money, they get a return on investment.
• 21:10
  But
• 21:11
  Yeah.
• 21:11
  It's interesting, though.
• 21:12
  You know, you think that they would want to make the same kind of they saw the value, like
• 21:16
  you said, and you deliver, that's really your front foot facing customer.
• 21:21
  Like, it's it ripples down, right, from here to here to here all the way to the front line.
• 21:26
  And whoever, if you're, you know, who's your customer and how are they interfacing if the
• 21:31
  frontline people don't have the same kind of skills.
• 21:33
  Right?
• 21:33
  So the you know, so if it's too high up, How does it get translated down all the way?
• 21:39
  So I would say that, you know, it makes sense that you equally invest all the way through the
• 21:44
  different levels of math.
• 21:45
  Ment because
• 21:46
  Yeah.
• 21:46
  But you're you're logic you're trying to logic it through.
• 21:48
  You're trying to use logic to explain an emotional situation.
• 21:52
  The the bottom line is a a chief exec gets in touch with me, and they go, I have this
• 21:56
  problem.
• 21:57
  That is the opening line they come with.
• 21:59
  So for them, the problem is a a 9 out of 10.
• 22:04
  But when they look at their team, they go, well, we're still making money.
• 22:08
  The problem is only 5 out of 10 because it's not their problem.
• 22:14
  It's 1, it's just one, level removed.
• 22:19
  So they don't see if they don't see the reality you're saying.
• 22:22
  They see their problems, but they don't see how it affects the others in the organization.
• 22:27
  Well, they don't feel it.
• 22:28
  They don't feel the problem.
• 22:30
  They don't feel it.
• 22:31
  Okay.
• 22:31
  No.
• 22:32
  They don't they don't feel it.
• 22:33
  It's a bit like you know, I live with Karen, and and she's my soulmate.
• 22:38
  You know, if I wake up in the morning and I've got a problem, and then she turns around and
• 22:42
  says she's got a problem.
• 22:44
  My problem would be far more important than hers to me.
• 22:49
  Mhmm.
• 22:50
  Hers will be far more important to her at the moment.
• 22:53
  That's just human nature.
• 22:55
  I mean, I want her to be hap her happiness is my happiness.
• 22:58
  If she's unhappy, I'm not gonna pay.
• 23:01
  But, you know, let's be brutally honest.
• 23:03
  Right?
• 23:04
  Her issue is a 9 out of 10 to her to her me.
• 23:06
  It's a 6.
• 23:07
  My problem is that now turned to me, but to where it's a 6.
• 23:11
  Now when you and we live together.
• 23:13
  We work together.
• 23:14
  We we'd live in the same house.
• 23:16
  You know, she's my everything.
• 23:18
  When you go to work, you know, yeah, we all want we all believe chief execs sit there and
• 23:24
  go, it's my father.
• 23:25
  People like my father.
• 23:26
  No.
• 23:26
  They're not.
• 23:27
  Because the moment the company starts going under, you just text somebody and kick them
• 23:31
  out.
• 23:31
  You know, that's a brutality of life.
• 23:33
  Right?
• 23:34
  That's just the way it is, and you might not wanna sack somebody.
• 23:36
  I get that.
• 23:37
  But ultimately, you would to keep the shipper afloat you'd kick people out of the hot air
• 23:41
  balloon to keep it in the air.
• 23:42
  Right?
• 23:42
  You just would.
• 23:44
  So the thing is that when when a chief exec gets in touch with me.
• 23:48
  They've got a problem.
• 23:49
  It's in a in their head.
• 23:51
  It's keeping them awake at night.
• 23:53
  But when, you know, one of the sales guys comes up and he goes, I'm not closing enough sales.
• 23:57
  And and I don't and I and I feel nervous, and I and I wish I how do I handle my nerves when I'm
• 24:02
  speaking?
• 24:03
  The boss doesn't go, oh my god.
• 24:05
  That's a massive problem for me too.
• 24:06
  Let's go out and get you somebody.
• 24:08
  They're like, sort it out.
• 24:09
  Go and find somebody.
• 24:10
  Go on a course.
• 24:10
  Do what you need to do.
• 24:12
  But, you know, what just even one degree of one degree removed, and everything changes.
• 24:19
  Mhmm.
• 24:19
  I guess my work is different from you.
• 24:21
  Right?
• 24:21
  Because I talked to them about looking at how they're impacting others when I assess their
• 24:26
  skills.
• 24:26
  So it's and then teaching them about sitting in awareness and looking at know, what is their
• 24:32
  story?
• 24:32
  What lee you know, and these are companies that want to deal with that as well.
• 24:36
  Right?
• 24:36
  Like, if they want to understand What is your, I call it, return on relationship versus return
• 24:41
  investments?
• 24:42
  If you are connected and not a every company is gonna see that way, but the companies that I
• 24:47
  deal with they want the leaders the leader wants to learn how to connect in a different
• 24:52
  way so that he or she can impact the others so that they can function and ripple out from
• 24:58
  there.
• 24:58
  Right?
• 24:58
  So it's just a different kind of perspective compared to what you're saying, which is, you
• 25:02
  know, the leader sees his or her concern.
• 25:05
  They will invest in them, but they may not, invest in the different levels all the way to
• 25:12
  the phone line.
• 25:14
  Right?
• 25:14
  Is that what you're saying?
• 25:16
  Yeah.
• 25:16
  I mean, not every company is the same.
• 25:18
  You know, the guy the guy The guy the guy, you know, the guy that booked me in the internet
• 25:23
  company over here, he's paying the same for the temp.
• 25:26
  You know, he He booked me to do presentation skills for him and the very senior people, and
• 25:32
  there were 10 of them.
• 25:34
  Yeah.
• 25:34
  And then and then he said, right.
• 25:36
  I've got another tier of people when you come in.
• 25:38
  I said, it's the same money.
• 25:39
  He said, fine.
• 25:40
  So he paid the same money because he saw the benefit, and he loved it and thought it was
• 25:43
  great.
• 25:43
  And he wants the same for his team.
• 25:45
  So I'm I'm I'm kinda generalizing.
• 25:49
  Well, I
• 25:49
  think that that makes sense.
• 25:50
  Right?
• 25:51
  I think it depends on the company as well.
• 25:53
  Right?
• 25:53
  Like, I mean, what they want to achieve just, like you said, long term, what are they
• 25:58
  wanting, or are they just kind of seeing it from, you know, them and their senior
• 26:01
  leadership teams?
• 26:02
  Now let's let's talk a little bit about, what are some of the things, that you are some of
• 26:09
  the biggest pitfalls that you see when you deal with senior leaders when you trying to teach
• 26:13
  them about becoming a rock star.
• 26:15
  What are some of the biggest pitfalls that you see?
• 26:20
  The greatest challenge with with improving anybody's presentation skills is that It's not
• 26:28
  like running a company.
• 26:30
  What you do is you get somebody in a silo who's brilliant at that job.
• 26:35
  I mean, nowadays it's accepted business practice that whoever's good at doing tech, you
• 26:40
  leave them in tech.
• 26:41
  You don't take them out of technology and put them in the finance department.
• 26:45
  Right?
• 26:45
  You make sure that everybody in is is a superstar in their individual arena.
• 26:50
  Right?
• 26:50
  The problem is when you standard present, You've gotta do it all.
• 26:55
  You've got to learn how to use tech.
• 26:56
  You've got to learn how to use human.
• 26:58
  You've got to learn how to tell stories.
• 27:00
  You've got to learn how to use technology, how to do good power point, how to manage your
• 27:06
  time, how to be able to own the stage, how to be able to connect with the audience, how to
• 27:11
  ask.
• 27:11
  You gotta be able to do it all.
• 27:13
  And so the the only thing that is a challenge for me going through a day with anybody And it
• 27:20
  oh, it's less of a challenge and a more of of of the process.
• 27:24
  I need to find out what they can't do.
• 27:28
  And we need to have a really specific conversation, and the biggest one is humor.
• 27:33
  They all think they're more funny than they are.
• 27:37
  And generally been not that funny?
• 27:40
  No.
• 27:41
  No.
• 27:41
  They're not.
• 27:42
  Yeah.
• 27:42
  It's all dad jokes and and and, you know, they just stuff that they can say around the coffee
• 27:48
  machine, or they say, you know, they're saying maybe a team meeting, but then they get out
• 27:51
  onto a stage in front of two hundred people.
• 27:53
  And it doesn't travel.
• 27:55
  That's fine.
• 27:55
  We we need a we need a recalibration.
• 27:59
  Not that you think is funny.
• 28:01
  But, you know, I've I've had it the other way where I Martin, that should be the the decider
• 28:07
  guy who was, you know, who's got the business, and he spoke at the houses of parliament.
• 28:12
  We did some work.
• 28:13
  And I've spent a lot of time in the US, so my dad's a green card.
• 28:17
  My dad's been out there for 50 years.
• 28:18
  I've had a green card.
• 28:20
  I've spoken in 40 US States.
• 28:23
  And, you know, so I know that I know America very well lived in New York Chicago, Denver,
• 28:28
  Richmond.
• 28:30
  And so we he was speaking at Chicago at sideacon, side of convention.
• 28:34
  So he was a keynote speaker.
• 28:36
  And I did some humor for him because he was he's he's not naturally the most funny guy, but
• 28:40
  he he we did some humor.
• 28:41
  And I gave him a line, and it worked really, really well, but he had no idea what he was
• 28:45
  really saying and and it worked.
• 28:48
  And so, you know, so the the line was because we were going to we were we were talking about
• 28:53
  family a lot because it's, you know, his business has been going 2 thirds.
• 28:59
  Sorry.
• 29:00
  40% of the the entire history of the United States.
• 29:05
  Which is an interesting concept.
• 29:07
  His business is a hundred thirty years old.
• 29:10
  Wow.
• 29:10
  We we play on that in the States because, you know, everything, you know, everything is new
• 29:13
  in America.
• 29:14
  So we're playing on that all the time.
• 29:15
  And I I gave him a line, which was a great line.
• 29:18
  He said, my dad's still in the business, my father.
• 29:21
  He says, and he says, he will stop working in the business.
• 29:24
  When, oh, what's she called?
• 29:28
  Oh, you know what, memory guy, and it's just gone straight away.
• 29:33
  The the lady off the view, Barbara Walters.
• 29:36
  He said, so my it says, yeah, goodness.
• 29:38
  Being that was terrible.
• 29:39
  And he said, my dad will stop working in the when Babra Walter stops doing TV.
• 29:44
  And he said, that's not very funny.
• 29:47
  He said, I don't even know who Barbara Walters is.
• 29:49
  I said, it's a it's a great line.
• 29:51
  It's a killer line.
• 29:52
  It is just take it off me.
• 29:55
  It's a good line.
• 29:56
  It's American Edinburgh and Azerbaijan.
• 29:58
  She's been on television since starts.
• 30:00
  She'd be she's like 150 years old.
• 30:02
  Trust me.
• 30:03
  It'll land.
• 30:04
  It so he did it, and he delivered it.
• 30:07
  And then y'all started laughing.
• 30:09
  And the problem is then he didn't think they were gonna laugh.
• 30:12
  And therefore, he didn't know what to do.
• 30:13
  So he was like, stuck on stage halfway through his, you know, and and he didn't know what to
• 30:17
  do because he didn't believe that the human would would travel.
• 30:20
  So that's the other interesting dynamic is I I here's the most here's the biggest challenge
• 30:26
  for me as a as a coach.
• 30:28
  We're not working on some some conceptual idea that they might be able put in practice of
• 30:34
  humans down the road that might help.
• 30:36
  They've gotta talk in a month.
• 30:38
  Right.
• 30:39
  And when we sit down and write it out, they've gotta make a decision.
• 30:43
  They either do the talk that we've agreed or they don't.
• 30:46
  And I've never had one who said that they didn't.
• 30:49
  So they looked me in the eye, and working with a guy that they don't really know sometimes.
• 30:53
  And we sat there doing lines like that, and they've got a stand up and delivery.
• 30:59
  With confidence.
• 31:00
  Right.
• 31:01
  So that's what you brought from doing the kind of work that you've you've done.
• 31:07
  They've gotta believe in me, and and that's that's the that's I wouldn't say that's a
• 31:12
  pitfall, but that's a coach.
• 31:14
  That's very difficult because I don't get a second chance.
• 31:17
  You know, it's not like I've got a body building coach.
• 31:20
  Right?
• 31:20
  So I have a body building coach.
• 31:22
  And when I go and see him, it teaches me something.
• 31:24
  And if the following week, I've eaten donuts and pizza, and I've put some weights on, then
• 31:29
  we could start again.
• 31:31
  You know, it'll go, why have you eaten donuts and pizza on the go?
• 31:33
  I've had a bad break.
• 31:34
  Just I just wanted to eat doughnuts and pizza.
• 31:37
  And he's like, fine.
• 31:38
  But, well, we need to readdress, recalibrate with that again.
• 31:41
  But I don't get that chance.
• 31:42
  It comes to Benetah was with me, or 14 or whatever.
• 31:45
  It's 1 or 2 days.
• 31:46
  We drill down.
• 31:47
  We give them a speech.
• 31:48
  They walk away with it, and they either use it, or they don't.
• 31:51
  And I don't get a second chance.
• 31:52
  And if it doesn't work, then it's my head on the block.
• 31:56
  So that's the the challenge if you like.
• 31:58
  So you've gotta you gotta there's no there's no ops.
• 32:01
  You have to do the best.
• 32:02
  With them at that time, taking from them what really is corn fundamental to where they're
• 32:07
  speaking.
• 32:08
  And they, you know, have to like you said, you have once you've forminated that, then it's the
• 32:13
  practice and kind of helping them with the things that they're scared of, and then they
• 32:17
  have to go out and and deliberate.
• 32:19
  Which is which is which could as a keynote, I I understand, like, you're up there and there's
• 32:24
  no choice.
• 32:24
  You have to deliver it.
• 32:26
  And then, you know, if it's the first time to an audience, it could that can be kind of, you
• 32:31
  know, baked too because you wanna do your best.
• 32:34
  So for people that are thinking of connecting or they wanna speak better, where where where
• 32:42
  can they get a hold of you to or even have a chat?
• 32:44
  With you if, you're open to that day before.
• 32:47
  You said you also have a podcast.
• 32:49
  Well, I'm very heavily present on Facebook and LinkedIn, a post on there five, six times a
• 32:55
  week, and a post content.
• 32:58
  So if you wanna go on to Facebook and LinkedIn, then you will be able to get lots of videos of
• 33:03
  me giving you a little tip, 60 second tips, and there's loads of material on there that will
• 33:08
  help you become a better speaker.
• 33:10
  So first and foremost, go on there and just, you know, suck my brain dry or Facebook and
• 33:15
  LinkedIn because I really believe in in sharing what it is that I know If you wanna get in
• 33:19
  touch with me direct, then my website is creating presentation rockstars.com.
• 33:27
  Okay.
• 33:28
  Great.
• 33:29
  So what have I learned?
• 33:31
  I've learned a lot.
• 33:33
  I think what I'm walking away with is, just practicing and being present, but the if you're
• 33:42
  at a certain level, that maybe it's hard for you to get the message and sometimes getting
• 33:46
  the kind of coach that is direct and straight down the front line is maybe the way to go.
• 33:51
  And it's definitely seems like that's why David works.
• 33:54
  So for anybody interested in becoming a a rock star and stage, connect with David or check him
• 34:00
  out on LinkedIn, And, as you know, I talk about authenticity and leadership, either at home or
• 34:07
  at work.
• 34:07
  If you're wanting more information on that, you can go to roxander@hotmail.comforward/quiz.
• 34:12
  Do a mini quiz really quick, and we'll send you a report, with some recommendations.
• 34:17
  David, thanks so much for your time and maybe your paths will cross at some point when I'm up
• 34:22
  across the pond again.
• 34:24
  Alright.
• 34:24
  Take care, everyone.
• 34:25
  We'll talk to you soon.
• 34:27
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne creating the space for positive,
• 34:33
  healthy change.
• 34:34
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 34:40
  roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
• 34:44
  We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.