Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 129: Deputy Stag

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Episode 129: Deputy Stag · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

0:10
Speaker 1: This week's episode of the Tom and Jerry show is
0:13
Speaker 1: brought to you by the sweets my children got trick-or-treating
0:17
Speaker 1: last night.
0:18
Speaker 2: Oh, by Jesus Christ.
0:20
Speaker 1: I'm on a sugar buzz, baby. I've got more mauams
0:23
Speaker 1: in me than I don't know what.
0:25
Speaker 2: Old Gout McBride over there. Yeah, I can see it.
0:27
Speaker 1: I've got to tell you. If you ever wanted to
0:29
Speaker 1: ask me, Tom, ask me now. How are you all keeping?
0:31
Speaker 1: I'm Jerry McBride. That is Tom O'Mahony over there. How
0:33
Speaker 1: was your Halloween, Tom? Good.
0:35
Speaker 2: Daddy tax, as I like to call it, is implemented heavily. Yeah,
0:40
Speaker 2: he went through a shot of it all right. It
0:43
Speaker 2: was very good. It was very good. There isn't a
0:45
Speaker 2: lot in the way of trick-or-treating around this neck of
0:47
Speaker 2: the woods, literally neck of the woods, if you know
0:49
Speaker 2: what I mean. So what we did was we went
0:51
Speaker 2: up to his little cousins, who's the exact same age
0:55
Speaker 2: as him, and went around their village. I say village,
0:59
Speaker 2: but by Jesus Christ, it's expanded a lot since I
1:01
Speaker 2: walked around it. and lovely setup there was people with
1:05
Speaker 2: actual tables set up and music systems outside it's a
1:08
Speaker 2: real thing there and it's only like 25 minutes up
1:11
Speaker 2: the road so it's great it was it was lovely
1:13
Speaker 2: it was a very very it was compact it was
1:16
Speaker 2: done in an hour back in the car fucking load
1:20
Speaker 2: of fucking scobbles as they call them down here and
1:23
Speaker 2: uh sure he he didn't need one fucking 20th of
1:25
Speaker 2: it and the rest was scuttled away Now, I will
1:28
Speaker 2: say that.
1:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, R2 came back thinking that between the two of
1:30
Speaker 1: them they were going to eat a pillowcase full of sweets.
1:33
Speaker 1: And I was like, kids, you've been around the rock
1:36
Speaker 1: a couple of times. You know that I'm not going
1:38
Speaker 1: to let you sit down and eat a kilo of
1:39
Speaker 1: fucking sugar. Pick your ten favourite things. Stick on Corpse Bride.
1:45
Speaker 2: I had noticed that... So, you know, like, these sweets
1:48
Speaker 2: are easily accessible. You know what I mean? Like, if
1:51
Speaker 2: you want, you go over to Trick or Treaters tonight,
1:53
Speaker 2: you go into Mr. Price or whatever, you go into
1:55
Speaker 2: deals and you get a big bag of eggs.
1:57
Speaker 1: Or you get whatever.
1:59
Speaker 2: And I'd be noticing, like, while you're walking around, he
2:01
Speaker 2: was chawing. He was chawing on something. I'm like, is
2:04
Speaker 2: he digging in already? How do you get time to
2:07
Speaker 2: even unwrap that? Because he's the head of an enchantment system.
2:09
Speaker 1: Has he got a load of dip in his mouth
2:11
Speaker 1: or something?
2:13
Speaker 2: I said, what sweets are you eating? Like, you know,
2:18
Speaker 2: how do you get the wrapper off? He goes, oh, no,
2:19
Speaker 2: that nice lady back there gave me a fistful of sweets.
2:23
Speaker 2: We had no wrappers.
2:25
Speaker 1: She just gave him a handful of jelly babies.
2:27
Speaker 2: Just a handful of some sort, some sort of sweets.
2:30
Speaker 2: I was like, what are they like? He goes, weird.
2:32
Speaker 2: And she was very nice. She came out, she was
2:35
Speaker 2: chatting with a very nice Indian lady, which like, I
2:38
Speaker 2: loved the old schoolness of it. Do you know what
2:41
Speaker 2: I mean? I actually loved it. Like she just dipped
2:43
Speaker 2: her big old hand into a big jar of sweets
2:45
Speaker 2: and rocked out with whatever amount came out, came out like.
2:49
Speaker 1: We don't want to go, we remember when this early
2:52
Speaker 1: in the show, Tom, but I remember getting Penny Sweets
2:54
Speaker 1: back when I was a child and the thing was
2:55
Speaker 1: tipped out onto the counter of the shop and there
2:57
Speaker 1: were slid one at a time across into your open hand.
3:01
Speaker 2: Well that, I mean, there was a guy in the
3:03
Speaker 2: same village, I remember, years ago and he had the
3:07
Speaker 2: most cruel case of finger eczema you've ever seen. With long,
3:14
Speaker 2: super long nails as well. And he would He would flake.
3:20
Speaker 2: He would literally flake into the jar of jelly babies.
3:23
Speaker 1: You'd flake on your flake, lovely.
3:24
Speaker 2: On your jelly babies.
3:25
Speaker 1: Yo, dog. Heard you like flakes, so I flaked all
3:28
Speaker 1: over your flake. Come here, what other news have you
3:30
Speaker 1: from around the country for me there, Tom, before we
3:32
Speaker 1: launch into this show?
3:33
Speaker 2: We have invested in a proper keyboard, finally, Gerry. No
3:36
Speaker 2: more French fucking sidestepping. We spent a week in the
3:41
Speaker 2: greater Dublin area. And even, it was funny, like you
3:46
Speaker 2: bring a bite the sticks now he was born there
3:48
Speaker 2: but we ended up in the Phoenix Park because he
3:51
Speaker 2: had to see the Phoenix Park I mean it's he
3:53
Speaker 2: said why is it called the Phoenix Park and I
3:54
Speaker 2: said well to be honest with you it's actually a
3:56
Speaker 2: cool name but it's kind of based on your name
3:59
Speaker 2: because the English couldn't say Fionn Isca so they just
4:04
Speaker 2: went Phoenix Park so he said we better bring you
4:06
Speaker 2: to it and he's pretty much shouting at people to
4:09
Speaker 2: get away from the deer because he's like it's the
4:11
Speaker 2: middle of the rut what is wrong with he's shouting
4:14
Speaker 2: at this girl who's going over to try and pet
4:16
Speaker 2: a stag.
4:18
Speaker 1: He said, what's wrong with you?
4:19
Speaker 2: And her parents are walking her over. It's the rut. Now,
4:23
Speaker 2: they're very docile in that they ain't like the deer
4:26
Speaker 2: around here. But when you see a deer with his
4:29
Speaker 2: dick hanging out, slathering from the mouth, trying to mount
4:34
Speaker 2: a fucking tree stump, I'd back up.
4:38
Speaker 1: I wouldn't go up to him with your handout for
4:39
Speaker 1: a pen.
4:39
Speaker 2: No matter how docile or how Dublinified these fucking deer are.
4:44
Speaker 2: Because if you, you do go to the Phoenix Park.
4:46
Speaker 2: And by the way, I will tell you right now,
4:48
Speaker 2: about 60%, I was talking with one of the Rangers.
4:51
Speaker 2: I said, when are you going shooting them? He's like,
4:53
Speaker 2: that's the thing. Fucking, you have way too many there.
4:57
Speaker 2: You're going to get disease. You're going to get interbreeding.
5:00
Speaker 1: Oh, I know.
5:01
Speaker 2: He goes, I know. But we literally have to shut
5:04
Speaker 2: the park down to fucking do it. Because the fucking,
5:09
Speaker 2: the sad bastards will go, but you're killing the dirt.
5:13
Speaker 2: But they are completely overrunning the place. Since I was
5:16
Speaker 2: last there, Ger, there must be 10 times the amount
5:19
Speaker 2: of deer, easily 10 times the amount of deer. And
5:22
Speaker 2: they're just walking around harems with these stags and the
5:25
Speaker 2: stags ain't fighting because they're like, have you got enough?
5:28
Speaker 1: Because I've got enough. I'm good.
5:29
Speaker 2: I've got enough.
5:30
Speaker 1: It's like the sweets, the kids with the sweets. I'm
5:32
Speaker 1: not going to eat the half of this, lad. Do
5:34
Speaker 1: you want any of these?
5:35
Speaker 2: You know, like, there's going to be some stunted growth,
5:39
Speaker 2: weird-legged deer in the next couple of years there.
5:42
Speaker 1: Particularly when you have tourists going up to them and
5:44
Speaker 1: feeding them fucking Rice Krispies.
5:46
Speaker 2: Oh no, tourists my whole, Ger. Tourists my whole. These
5:50
Speaker 2: were Dublin people walking over with bread or whatever they'd
5:54
Speaker 2: gotten in the shop going, should we just feed them
5:56
Speaker 2: like we do the ducks? I'm like, did you ever
5:58
Speaker 2: see a duck? With a set of bones growing out
6:00
Speaker 2: of its fucking head. Poorly built for impaling. And meanwhile,
6:05
Speaker 2: he doesn't know if he's fucking Arthur or Martha right
6:08
Speaker 2: now because it's the middle of the rut season and
6:09
Speaker 2: he's going to fuck a tree. In fact, he might
6:14
Speaker 2: fuck your citron saxo if you leave it there for
6:16
Speaker 2: long enough.
6:17
Speaker 1: Let's fuck up this podcast, Tom. How about that, buddy?
6:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it.
6:22
Speaker 1: Do you know what?
6:24
Speaker 2: Do you know what? Before we get going and I'm
6:27
Speaker 2: calling Gerry out on this because I sent him on
6:31
Speaker 2: an article and it was a feel-good article but McBride.
6:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, Tom, we had the slot filled. We had the
6:36
Speaker 1: slot filled. We didn't have time for it this week.
6:37
Speaker 2: You're a soft bastard.
6:40
Speaker 1: We had the slot filled. We're about to get into
6:42
Speaker 1: the segment.
6:43
Speaker 2: I'm just going to give an honourable mention to the
6:46
Speaker 2: gentleman in Donegal who brought two bears that had been
6:49
Speaker 2: performing bears in Dagestan and Through hook by crook, he
6:54
Speaker 2: went to bring him through Ukraine, war broke out. The Iranians,
6:58
Speaker 2: somebody rich in Iran said, I'll help you out. Guess
7:01
Speaker 2: what happened there? Somebody held him. And then Etihad Airways
7:05
Speaker 2: helped fly the things over. The Saudis, I think, flew
7:08
Speaker 2: it over. And they're now in Donegal. And it's a
7:11
Speaker 2: feel-good story. But I'd like to talk about the bears
7:13
Speaker 2: having a feel-good story. And Gerry went, fuck them bears, Tom.
7:16
Speaker 1: Fuck them bears. Bears ain't shit.
7:17
Speaker 2: Yeah.
7:18
Speaker 1: You know, now that I know the full story about them, Tom,
7:20
Speaker 1: what are we going to talk about two fucking warmongering bears?
7:24
Speaker 1: Start shit everywhere they go and have to get airlifted
7:27
Speaker 1: to Donegal above all places.
7:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:30
Speaker 1: You know what I'm going to tell you? I'm going
7:31
Speaker 1: to fucking walk up there and spark them two bears out.
7:34
Speaker 2: Sure you would. Sure you would. Dagestan, like the home of.
7:37
Speaker 1: Actually, Tom, you know what I mean? If it's one
7:39
Speaker 1: go of people that I've had more fights with between
7:42
Speaker 1: the Gael talk and stag parties and shit down to
7:45
Speaker 1: me life, it's hooters from Donegal.
7:47
Speaker 2: I thought you were going to say from Dagestan. I'm like,
7:49
Speaker 2: they're a pretty tough construct. Two or three years, that
7:52
Speaker 2: gets that.
7:53
Speaker 1: Brewers from Donegal go on record to say there's not
7:57
Speaker 1: a slap in them either, right? So if the Bears
7:59
Speaker 1: have to run to buy from Donegal to get looked after,
8:02
Speaker 1: there's not a slap in them Bears either.
8:04
Speaker 2: Ah, listen to this. Listen to this shit. Anyway, we
8:06
Speaker 2: better get out of this segment.
8:07
Speaker 1: That's what I have to say about that. We're not
8:10
Speaker 1: going to talk about the Bears. It very nearly made
8:12
Speaker 1: it into the weekly what have you, but it didn't.
8:15
Speaker 1: But this did. It's the weekly what have you.
8:17
Speaker 2: This is a very complicated case, Maude.
8:19
Speaker 1: You know, a lot of ins, a lot of outs,
8:20
Speaker 1: a lot of what have yous, and a lot of
8:23
Speaker 1: strands to keep in my head, man.
8:25
Speaker 2: This got me excited because the headline reads like there's
8:31
Speaker 2: no punctuation at all in the headline.
8:35
Speaker 1: No, there's no punctuation in any sort of quote, and
8:39
Speaker 1: not for nothing as well. I've written a headline or
8:42
Speaker 1: two in my time, Tom. You have? It's a poorly
8:45
Speaker 1: written headline. It runs into a third sentence, which you
8:48
Speaker 1: don't want a headline to do. And there's an orphan
8:50
Speaker 1: on it. There's just like one sentence just has one
8:52
Speaker 1: word on it.
8:53
Speaker 2: I actually think it's terrible on purpose. I think the
8:57
Speaker 2: editor went, did you fucking write this?
9:00
Speaker 1: What?
9:01
Speaker 2: Actually, do you know what? This is so bad and mad.
9:04
Speaker 2: I think we leave it in. So give us the headline.
9:08
Speaker 1: I'm going to take you through this one, Tom, rather
9:10
Speaker 1: than give you the headline, because the headline is the story.
9:12
Speaker 1: I'd rather give you the story. Okay, yeah, yeah. How
9:13
Speaker 1: does that sound?
9:14
Speaker 2: Okay, all right.
9:15
Speaker 1: So I'm going to take you to sunny Glasgow.
9:19
Speaker 2: Okay. Yeah.
9:23
Speaker 1: Sunny Glasgow in April of 2023. If there's a reason
9:26
Speaker 1: why we're talking about this three and a half years
9:29
Speaker 1: after the fact, ladies and gentlemen, listen to the story.
9:31
Speaker 1: You'll find out why, because it's only now that the
9:36
Speaker 1: court case has been settled, Tom. So that's a little
9:39
Speaker 1: teaser for you there. A man and a woman stopped
9:44
Speaker 1: by a routine Garda check on the M74. I'm not
9:47
Speaker 1: sure of the M74, but if it's anything like.
9:49
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if it's the fucking Garda either, Ger.
9:51
Speaker 2: I mean, it would have been an interesting stop. License
9:55
Speaker 2: of registration, there.
9:56
Speaker 1: Please Come here to me Harry Harry's going around Glasgow.
10:01
Speaker 2: Go on anyway So this couple get stopped So it's
10:04
Speaker 2: a man and a woman Yeah The M74 it leads
10:06
Speaker 2: to Ayrshire if I remember correctly I had to deviate
10:09
Speaker 2: off it because of one Donald J. Trump last year
10:13
Speaker 2: was landing near there and they had to deviate from
10:16
Speaker 2: the M74 outside Ayr the home of Robert Burns.
10:21
Speaker 1: Well, it was also the home, Tom, there or thereabouts,
10:24
Speaker 1: of Mr. John McNeill and his partner, Lindsay Sangster. Sangster
10:28
Speaker 1: is a name that I've never heard before in my life.
10:31
Speaker 2: Prod.
10:32
Speaker 1: Sorry, what? A Scottish Protestant named Sangster. Well, she shacked
10:38
Speaker 1: up with a chap called McNeill, so are we bending
10:40
Speaker 1: the fences here?
10:41
Speaker 2: No.
10:41
Speaker 1: Is this across the barricades happening here?
10:44
Speaker 2: It could be.
10:44
Speaker 1: Could be either way.
10:46
Speaker 2: Could be either way.
10:47
Speaker 1: Well, they may not have a joined love of Rangers
10:51
Speaker 1: and Celtic Town, but I'll tell you what they did
10:53
Speaker 1: have a joined love of them. God loved them. They
10:55
Speaker 1: had a joined love of drugs.
10:58
Speaker 2: You know what? We don't like to stereotype, but yeah,
11:05
Speaker 2: they did. They had a lovely bag of drugs hidden
11:09
Speaker 2: in the car, hadn't they? Heroin and cocaine, Ger. Well,
11:11
Speaker 2: this is it.
11:12
Speaker 1: All the favourites, Tom. All the good ones. They are,
11:17
Speaker 1: how will I say this? They're not, they were got
11:23
Speaker 1: with more than they could claim was private use. So
11:28
Speaker 1: as the guards say, as the police say, intent to sell.
11:32
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean, Tom, that they did not also privately
11:36
Speaker 1: use this quite a lot.
11:38
Speaker 2: Well, it would seem that they found glass pipes in the.
11:42
Speaker 1: That was the first flag. That was the first thing
11:44
Speaker 1: the cops showed up from. Maybe you'd give us a
11:48
Speaker 1: Scottish police officer there noticing that there is a glass
11:51
Speaker 1: pipe in the... I'm assuming in the cup holder of the... Sorry, mate.
11:59
Speaker 2: Is that a fucking glass pipe where you're fucking... I
12:04
Speaker 2: found it.
12:04
Speaker 1: I found it.
12:06
Speaker 2: It's a glass.
12:07
Speaker 1: Boys. Boys.
12:09
Speaker 2: Pipe.
12:09
Speaker 1: Glass. That's not mine. That's not mine.
12:12
Speaker 2: It fucking... Well, I know it's not... Wait.
12:15
Speaker 1: That's not mine. Hold on the fuck.
12:18
Speaker 2: It's not mine. It's not hers. And it sure as
12:21
Speaker 2: shit isn't mine. Well, who the fuck else is in
12:24
Speaker 2: the car that it might belong to?
12:27
Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing, Tom. There was nobody else in
12:30
Speaker 1: the car.
12:30
Speaker 2: Really?
12:31
Speaker 1: Really. Well, upon closer inspection, there was somebody else in
12:35
Speaker 1: the car, Tom. There was a sheep in the backseat
12:39
Speaker 1: of the car.
12:40
Speaker 2: That's fucking right. I'm a fucking sheep, innit? Don't fucking
12:45
Speaker 2: give me that look. It's no mine either.
12:48
Speaker 1: It's no mine.
12:49
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm eating chips. I'm sitting in the fucking
12:52
Speaker 2: backseat eating chips. If there's any, any breaking of law
12:56
Speaker 2: going on, it's that I'm not wearing a fucking seatbelt.
13:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, or a sheep belt for that matter. Tom's kidding
13:04
Speaker 1: on the square there saying the sheep is just minding
13:08
Speaker 1: his business eating chips in the black seat. No, that's
13:12
Speaker 1: what the sheep was doing. The sheep was eating the
13:13
Speaker 1: bag of chips. The sheep.
13:16
Speaker 2: So, right. It's not the sheep's pipe. The sheep's chips. Correct?
13:23
Speaker 1: Okay. Mr.
13:25
Speaker 2: McNeil, I know you. Sangster, I know you. Sheepy. What's
13:31
Speaker 2: your fucking name?
13:34
Speaker 1: Pablo.
13:35
Speaker 2: My name is Pablo.
13:37
Speaker 1: The sheep's name was Pablo and Pablo was, and I'm
13:40
Speaker 1: a poor judge of sheep flesh here, Tom, but he looks,
13:43
Speaker 1: he's a lamb. He is a lamb.
13:45
Speaker 2: Most definitely a lamb, not more than three or four
13:47
Speaker 2: months old maximum.
13:49
Speaker 1: That Mr. McNeil and Ms. Sangster, who were in the
13:53
Speaker 1: process of transporting 14 grand's worth of heroin and cocaine
13:56
Speaker 1: around the wildernesses, wildernesses, Of Glasgow. And it. Must be
14:02
Speaker 1: said Tom. That pile was getting smaller. As they went on.
14:06
Speaker 1: Without a fucking shadow of a doubt. Because old Sangster was.
14:10
Speaker 2: They pulled her for a reason. They reckoned she was
14:12
Speaker 2: well under the influence.
14:13
Speaker 1: While behind the wheel. It wasn't just a routine tax check.
14:15
Speaker 1: Or anything like that. No. This was like. Let's get
14:18
Speaker 1: you off the road. The sheep in the back. Was
14:23
Speaker 1: not McNeil's or Sangster's. But they had. Good Samaritans that
14:28
Speaker 1: they were. Picked it up along the way.
14:31
Speaker 2: They reckon in the middle of the road that it
14:33
Speaker 2: was lost.
14:34
Speaker 1: So they were going around. What I can only imagine is, Tom,
14:38
Speaker 1: the actual Scottish Highlands?
14:40
Speaker 2: No, you don't. No, the Highlands is way above that. No,
14:44
Speaker 2: this is just.
14:45
Speaker 1: The lowlands? The midlands?
14:47
Speaker 2: This is just a country fucking road between Ayrshire and
14:51
Speaker 2: fucking Glasgow.
14:53
Speaker 1: So they're in the knoll of Glasgow.
14:56
Speaker 2: There you go.
14:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and they have found a little sheep. Now, Tom,
15:02
Speaker 1: we're country people, right? Yeah. Sometimes you get talking to
15:07
Speaker 1: city people and they'll say, oh, well, I found a
15:10
Speaker 1: sheep or I found a cow on the road. I'm like, no,
15:13
Speaker 1: you didn't. There was a cow on the road.
15:16
Speaker 2: And it was his road while he was there. Oh,
15:19
Speaker 2: don't worry.
15:19
Speaker 1: He was not lost.
15:20
Speaker 2: I have had this situation and it only unfolded because
15:24
Speaker 2: these two fuckos were out of their mind on fucking
15:26
Speaker 2: drugs and were probably townies.
15:28
Speaker 1: But... Sorry, just to throw that down, yeah.
15:33
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15:33
Speaker 1: Out of the mind on drugs and probably Chinese.
15:36
Speaker 2: And probably Chinese. Herself, when we were dating, I remember
15:41
Speaker 2: we were only going out. She was like, oh my God,
15:43
Speaker 2: there's a little lamb in the middle of the road.
15:44
Speaker 2: I think he can't find his mother. I'm like, are
15:47
Speaker 2: you fucking joking me? Let me just drive around him
15:50
Speaker 2: and let him on his way. Because he don't want
15:52
Speaker 2: to know us. And trust me, you don't want to
15:54
Speaker 2: fucking know him. And she went to get out to the...
15:57
Speaker 2: I said, right, pull over. You see, you see, can
15:58
Speaker 2: you catch a hold of that lamb? So you see,
16:00
Speaker 2: can you catch that lamb?
16:02
Speaker 1: And we bring it to... Respect, Mrs. Hang on while
16:05
Speaker 1: I film you because this is going to be funny.
16:08
Speaker 2: To be honest with you, the relationship continued after that,
16:11
Speaker 2: it did. Because I just was laughing too fucking hard.
16:15
Speaker 2: Had I filmed it, it probably would have ended our
16:17
Speaker 2: time together. But I was laughing so fucking hard that
16:20
Speaker 2: this woman chased a lamb. And this lamb that looked
16:24
Speaker 2: like it was in such distress... just jumped straight through
16:26
Speaker 2: the bars of a gate and ran back into the
16:28
Speaker 2: other sheep that were in.
16:31
Speaker 1: Let me tell you one thing, Tom. Let me tell
16:32
Speaker 1: you this. If you think, oh no, a poor animal
16:35
Speaker 1: lost on the road, I better collect it. If you
16:37
Speaker 1: go driving up around the Coulee Mountains and you pick
16:40
Speaker 1: up every fucking so-called stray goat you feel, you tell
16:43
Speaker 1: me how quick your car fills up with goats, lads.
16:48
Speaker 1: They own the roads up there.
16:50
Speaker 2: And they had it long enough, and this will tell
16:52
Speaker 2: you how out of their fucking mind they are. They
16:54
Speaker 2: were They named it Pablo after Pablo Escobar.
16:59
Speaker 1: Because they're smoking drugs about him.
17:00
Speaker 2: The infamous fucking drug lord.
17:01
Speaker 1: No notes. Say what you want about the Scottish. Some
17:04
Speaker 1: of them are good crack.
17:05
Speaker 2: Oh, they're funny fuckers. Some of them are funny fuckers.
17:08
Speaker 2: I mean, are you going to pull in and get
17:09
Speaker 2: him some fucking sheep nuts? No, you pull in and
17:12
Speaker 2: get him some fucking chops.
17:14
Speaker 1: Tom, do you think his full name.
17:18
Speaker 2: Go on, go on, go on, go on.
17:20
Speaker 1: Was Pablo Escobar?
17:22
Speaker 2: No. I knew it. I knew it. I just knew
17:25
Speaker 2: you were going to do it.
17:27
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's what it is. They're driving along and
17:29
Speaker 1: they're like, God, look. And you got to tell them,
17:31
Speaker 1: God love them. They're looking after the wee creature. And like,
17:34
Speaker 1: God love them. Look at him. He's only a wee lamb.
17:36
Speaker 1: What will we do? He looks hungry. What do sheep like?
17:39
Speaker 1: What do sheep like? Real quick. I don't know. Sangster,
17:42
Speaker 1: what do sheep like? I don't know. McNair, what do
17:44
Speaker 1: you want? McNeil, what do sheep like? I don't know.
17:46
Speaker 1: How about.
17:47
Speaker 2: And then Pablo's in the back going, Chaps... Chaps.
17:52
Speaker 1: Single with salt and vinegar.
17:54
Speaker 2: Lambs love chaps. Can I get... Did you just say that? No.
18:00
Speaker 2: Did you? And then looking back at Pablo, he's like... Chaps.
18:07
Speaker 1: It must be said now, whether the sheep would naturally
18:10
Speaker 1: eat chips or not, when there was a plate of
18:11
Speaker 1: chips brought in front of him, he ate them.
18:13
Speaker 2: He fucking did. It's the fairest of... He fucking did.
18:17
Speaker 2: But these....
18:21
Speaker 1: Here's the.
18:23
Speaker 2: It's so good. I like thinking about how, like, the cops.
18:27
Speaker 1: Oh, the cops questioned him and they were like, why
18:29
Speaker 1: have you got a sheep in the back of the car?
18:31
Speaker 1: And McNeil said... McNeil said that Sangster, his missus, that
18:36
Speaker 1: Sangster was just like, oh yeah, my missus, she's a
18:39
Speaker 1: trainee shepherdess.
18:40
Speaker 2: Trainee shepherdess. And I'm like, you've.
18:44
Speaker 1: Thrown yourself open to more questions there because they're like, oh,
18:46
Speaker 1: if you're a trainee shepherdess, Where's the wee milk bottles
18:49
Speaker 1: that you have for lambs? You know, the wee feeding
18:52
Speaker 1: bottles and things like that. It's like, oh no, he
18:54
Speaker 1: has his chips there.
18:55
Speaker 2: Do you know when you can see, like even reading something,
18:57
Speaker 2: you're like, I know from stage experience that that absolutely
19:02
Speaker 2: killed that bit, right?
19:03
Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
19:04
Speaker 2: Because the Scots have some timing, right? And they set
19:07
Speaker 2: each other up. To give them their due, they have
19:09
Speaker 2: some fucking timing. Because it goes to prosecutor Juliana Keenan
19:14
Speaker 2: asked the officer, if there was evidence of this, the
19:18
Speaker 2: shepherdess bit, after he'd said that she was a trained shepherdess,
19:21
Speaker 2: was there any evidence of this? And he replied, no.
19:24
Speaker 2: The lamb at the time was eating a pack of
19:26
Speaker 2: chips left at the back seat. There were no balls.
19:30
Speaker 1: Let me consult my notes. No, the lamb was eating
19:34
Speaker 1: a single mushy piece. The lamb was traced back to
19:40
Speaker 1: a farm called North Landrig Farm. That sounds Welsh. North
19:45
Speaker 1: Landrig Farm in Motherwell that's fucking miles away owned by
19:48
Speaker 1: a farmer called Kirsty Mair who I understand Kirsty Mair
19:52
Speaker 1: is a man not a woman is that right but
19:54
Speaker 1: what's even better is when they went like I mean
19:58
Speaker 1: they pulled him in looking dodgy as it is you
20:01
Speaker 1: know they've already found the glass pipe Johan's out of
20:04
Speaker 1: our fucking bin there's a lamb that they probably think
20:07
Speaker 1: is imaginary sitting on the back seat But then a
20:11
Speaker 1: police dog named Billy, definitely a prod. Billy.
20:16
Speaker 2: The Protestant dog later found £ 4, 640 worth of cocaine and
20:23
Speaker 2: just over £ 10, 000 worth of heroin under the front passenger seat. Well,
20:27
Speaker 2: thanks be to God, Pablo didn't get in among that.
20:30
Speaker 1: I've got to tell you, she's gone one.
20:33
Speaker 2: The purity of the cocaine was at 76% according to
20:37
Speaker 2: Pablo sitting in the back who had dipped his little
20:39
Speaker 2: hoof in it and licked it. Yeah, he did.
20:41
Speaker 1: A little dip and taste it like, oh, that's the
20:43
Speaker 1: good shit. I'm sorry for Kirsty Mayer, who actually is
20:48
Speaker 1: a woman and owns the farm. I was delighted to
20:50
Speaker 1: have wee Pablo back who had to go into rehab.
20:57
Speaker 2: I love it. They actually held the sheep for like
20:59
Speaker 2: 72 hours.
21:00
Speaker 1: For fucking questioning, yeah.
21:01
Speaker 2: They fucking held it for 72 hours before releasing. Like,
21:05
Speaker 2: in case another farmer was going to show up going,
21:08
Speaker 2: have you got my lamb? Do you know what I mean? Like,
21:13
Speaker 2: what the fuck?
21:14
Speaker 1: You know, if they had been quick thinking and with
21:19
Speaker 1: respect to the couple caught in the car, if they
21:23
Speaker 1: had been caught And the bags of whatnot had been
21:25
Speaker 1: found under the car seat. And they go like, what's
21:28
Speaker 1: that then? The real quick response would have been, wool.
21:35
Speaker 1: Two bags of wool. We're told to get three. We're
21:37
Speaker 1: working on it. I don't have a fucking Scottish accent.
21:41
Speaker 2: One for the master. One for the.
21:44
Speaker 1: Yeah. One for the wee boy up the lane. So
21:47
Speaker 1: the headline that got our attention. Here we go.
21:49
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
21:49
Speaker 1: This is a badly written headline. Man caught in car.
21:53
Speaker 1: and this gives this gives away the finish of the
21:55
Speaker 1: story as well here gang man caught in car with 14,000
21:59
Speaker 1: pounds of drugs as a lamb ate chips in the
22:02
Speaker 1: back seat avoids jail no punctuation no none not a
22:06
Speaker 1: bit of it but the end bit of it is
22:08
Speaker 1: that he did indeed Mr. McNeil avoid jail as did
22:13
Speaker 1: Miss fucking Sarsgaard or whatever I said her name was
22:15
Speaker 1: there Miss Sangster yeah they got suspended sentences and they
22:20
Speaker 1: have to do community service Sheeran Sheep up in the
22:23
Speaker 1: fucking Hebrides or whatever it might.
22:24
Speaker 2: Be I hope so I hope it's shearing fucking sheep
22:27
Speaker 2: in the outer Hebrides.
22:28
Speaker 1: But there you go there you go what a story
22:30
Speaker 1: for the weekly what have you folks I dare say
22:33
Speaker 1: that every now and then we throw these open to
22:34
Speaker 1: the social media channels so if you've ever had a
22:37
Speaker 1: sheep in the back of your car where you're transporting
22:40
Speaker 1: around 20,000 euros worth of illicit substances let us know
22:42
Speaker 1: in the comments this time Tom I'm going to say
22:44
Speaker 1: no fucking don't unfriend us and move on about your
22:49
Speaker 1: business what do you say about that.
22:50
Speaker 2: Yeah I don't you know what it's it's I wouldn't...
22:54
Speaker 2: Have I had, you know, agricultural animals in the back
22:58
Speaker 2: of a vehicle before?
22:59
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
23:00
Speaker 2: 100%. But did I ever rob one while out of
23:05
Speaker 2: my bin? I can see how it would happen, though.
23:07
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean, Ger? You could see.
23:08
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they prefer a rescue, Tom, but again.
23:11
Speaker 2: Because he reckoned it was dehydrated. Do you know, like,
23:13
Speaker 2: the way to be honest. He's not bringing a big
23:14
Speaker 2: fucking bag of salty chips. That's why they got him
23:17
Speaker 2: the chips.
23:17
Speaker 1: And they didn't even get him a can of Iron
23:18
Speaker 1: Brun or nothing.
23:20
Speaker 2: Nothing. There would seem to be no, but that was
23:22
Speaker 2: his thing because it seems to be dehydrated. So we're
23:24
Speaker 2: going to get him some really complex carbs and then
23:28
Speaker 2: some fucking with lace and salt and vinegar with no
23:32
Speaker 2: hydration whatsoever.
23:33
Speaker 1: Tom, Tom, Tom, come here. I'll post a picture so
23:38
Speaker 1: everybody can see it so you can see what I
23:40
Speaker 1: see when you zoom in. There's red sauce on the chips.
23:43
Speaker 2: There's... Is there?
23:49
Speaker 1: There's fucking ketchup on the chips. You can't give a
23:52
Speaker 1: sheep dry chips, buddy.
23:53
Speaker 2: Oh, you can't. You can't.
23:55
Speaker 1: We might leave them eyes at that, will we?
23:57
Speaker 2: They should have gotten him like a deep fried fucking
23:59
Speaker 2: Mars bar. Do the proper Scottish thing.
24:01
Speaker 1: He had that before they pulled out the forecourt. Don't
24:05
Speaker 1: you fan him with a bag of chips. We don't
24:07
Speaker 1: know what he did.
24:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't know what he had before.
24:10
Speaker 1: Come here listen those lads could have been this lad
24:13
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ this lad's the grand but instead we decided
24:18
Speaker 1: to bring you another this lad this week ladies and
24:20
Speaker 1: gentlemen let's talk about this.
24:22
Speaker 3: Lad now there's that guy I'd seen it mooted on
24:29
Speaker 3: my timeline with a couple of ones but fair play
24:33
Speaker 3: to Kevin no sorry James James sent it on I
24:38
Speaker 3: said In fairness, he was like, this is right up
24:41
Speaker 3: your street.
24:41
Speaker 2: It surely has at least a nomination for this lad
24:46
Speaker 2: or the Weekly, what have you. And he's right, because
24:48
Speaker 2: there's several this lads.
24:50
Speaker 1: It's this lad or indeed these lads.
24:51
Speaker 3: Yeah.
24:52
Speaker 1: These lads as the case may be. And Tom, you
24:53
Speaker 1: sent this lad, Timmy, these lads as the case may be.
24:57
Speaker 1: And you're like, here you go. And I was like, nah,
24:59
Speaker 1: that's old news, Tom. That's from a couple of weeks back.
25:00
Speaker 2: And you're like, no, no, there's still that. Yeah. There's been...
25:05
Speaker 2: There's been.
25:06
Speaker 1: They've come round again.
25:07
Speaker 2: There's been three brawls in the past month in Armenian parliament.
25:12
Speaker 1: Armenian parliament is not the place where one fucks around
25:17
Speaker 1: it seems.
25:18
Speaker 2: Well you can fuck around but you will find out.
25:21
Speaker 2: But you will find out. If anybody's wondering it's over yonder.
25:25
Speaker 2: It would have been I would imagine they got fucking
25:29
Speaker 2: genocided out of it at one stage. I think the
25:32
Speaker 2: Kardashian surname is of Armenian descent if I'm not not
25:37
Speaker 2: it's a hardy old place out there in the fucking
25:40
Speaker 2: halfway between Russia and fucking Asia you know it's just
25:44
Speaker 2: a tough old place like and it seems that they're
25:47
Speaker 2: tough old people too because a row erupts and like
25:52
Speaker 2: I said this is the third one now I sent
25:53
Speaker 2: you on the latest one the.
25:55
Speaker 1: Latest one again I thought this was like from a
25:57
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago no no just this is now
25:58
Speaker 1: a weekly occurrence.
25:59
Speaker 2: They get and you know what they get into it
26:02
Speaker 2: they properly get into it this is a brawl over Like,
26:05
Speaker 2: I just fucking love, like, these post-communist plays that still have, like,
26:11
Speaker 2: Ministry of, you know. And this was Ministry of Sex.
26:16
Speaker 1: Ministry of Sex.
26:16
Speaker 2: Which sounds like an Ibiza nightclub.
26:19
Speaker 1: It does, yeah. I think I had that album.
26:21
Speaker 2: Yeah. Fucking Tall Paul was on it, yeah.
26:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
26:24
Speaker 2: Carol Cox was in it.
26:26
Speaker 1: Of course she was. Here's the thing, like... We put
26:30
Speaker 1: this show together of an afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and
26:33
Speaker 1: an afternoon is not enough time to get into the
26:35
Speaker 1: intricacies of Armenian politics. So if you're expecting to know
26:40
Speaker 1: exactly names, dates, party names, complex, and I dare say, Tom,
26:47
Speaker 1: to my eyes, quite offensive politics, you're not going to
26:51
Speaker 1: find it at the Tom and Jerry show. What you
26:53
Speaker 1: are going to find noise about is how they resolve
26:57
Speaker 1: these differences. I do, I do like it.
27:00
Speaker 2: So, one of the, there was one of the parties, like, so,
27:06
Speaker 2: you know, we call ours ye olde names from, you know,
27:09
Speaker 2: old Irish, like Fianna Fáil and Fianna Gael or whatever.
27:13
Speaker 2: And then new ones come along, you know, and they've.
27:15
Speaker 1: Like, you know, fucking Social Democrats.
27:18
Speaker 2: Social Democrats. One of their, one of their party's names
27:22
Speaker 2: is Strong Armenia.
27:24
Speaker 1: Strong Armenia. I did see strong Armenia. That jumped out
27:28
Speaker 1: at me. Like, it's strong Armenia. Like, OK, fair enough.
27:31
Speaker 1: How strong are they when it comes to it, Tom?
27:35
Speaker 2: Well, lawmakers with a very pro-Russian, strong Armenia party had
27:41
Speaker 2: put forward the idea after bizarrely claiming that a lack
27:44
Speaker 2: of sexual satisfaction was leading middle-aged women into political activism.
27:51
Speaker 2: That's the most Borat shit I've ever heard. That is
27:55
Speaker 2: fucking amazing.
27:56
Speaker 1: It's genuine politics and it's mad. It must be said
27:59
Speaker 1: that the politicians involved in what we're about to tell
28:01
Speaker 1: you right now appear to my eyes from the clips
28:04
Speaker 1: that I've seen to be exclusively men.
28:07
Speaker 2: Yeah.
28:08
Speaker 1: They're running the country. And I also saw that there's
28:10
Speaker 1: like fallen birth rates and and just general just just
28:15
Speaker 1: the natural comings and goings of a country, but they
28:17
Speaker 1: have decided in their manly ways to say, do you
28:19
Speaker 1: know what we need now? We need more women having
28:22
Speaker 1: more babies.
28:23
Speaker 2: Yeah.
28:23
Speaker 1: And we, you know, when they don't have enough babies,
28:25
Speaker 1: they get all kind of fucking give it all mouth
28:28
Speaker 1: about this, that and the other and go looking for
28:30
Speaker 1: equal rights and all that sort of thing. So how
28:31
Speaker 1: do we keep these women pregnant in the kitchen? Yeah.
28:35
Speaker 1: Let's have a division of the government called the Ministry
28:38
Speaker 1: of Sex, which didn't take long for someone to go, no, no,
28:44
Speaker 1: we should call it the Ministry of Unsatisfied Women. And
28:48
Speaker 1: then it didn't take longer than that for another politician
28:51
Speaker 1: to chime in. Would these include your mother? Yeah.
28:56
Speaker 2: Your mama.
28:56
Speaker 1: Yeah. And after that, there's only one thing to do,
28:59
Speaker 1: whether you're in the Armenian doll or not, Tom, that's
29:02
Speaker 1: start throwing hands.
29:04
Speaker 2: Well, he ripped the fucking chair out from under himself
29:07
Speaker 2: and fucked that across.
29:08
Speaker 1: I mean, and the.
29:09
Speaker 2: Biggest outburst we have, like, do you remember your man,
29:12
Speaker 2: It was a couple of years ago.
29:13
Speaker 1: Fuck you, Deputy Stagg.
29:14
Speaker 2: Fuck you, Deputy Stagg. And the guy had never said
29:17
Speaker 2: fuck in his life, you know, by him. And he
29:19
Speaker 2: pissed his pants a little when.
29:21
Speaker 1: He did it. He shit himself.
29:23
Speaker 2: Oh, he shit himself. Not these boys. They went to
29:26
Speaker 2: a fucking town. Ties off, let's go.
29:29
Speaker 1: It was, it was, it reminded me of the fucking
29:32
Speaker 1: Oasis nightclub. This is un, I was going to say
29:36
Speaker 1: unheard of time no they did it twice or three
29:38
Speaker 1: times in the last month yeah they downed they just
29:42
Speaker 1: get it up you know all pretense of law and
29:46
Speaker 1: order is gone and honestly 20 to 30 men dive
29:51
Speaker 1: into the middle of the courtroom and start swinging fucking
29:54
Speaker 1: thumps like they are rival parishes in an intermediate game.
29:59
Speaker 2: Well, you're a man from the strong Armenia because the other,
30:02
Speaker 2: the opposition party was like, yeah, listen, you're steeped in corruption,
30:06
Speaker 2: you bastard. This isn't the maddest thing you've ever come
30:09
Speaker 2: out with. Your whole family is in it. Your uncles,
30:11
Speaker 2: your aunts and everything. And he goes, it's not my
30:13
Speaker 2: fault that you come out with mad shit. Basically, he
30:16
Speaker 2: is calling him out. He's like, man, you're coming out
30:17
Speaker 2: with mad shit. That you wanted to open a ministry
30:20
Speaker 2: that would satisfy all women. You still haven't apologised to
30:23
Speaker 2: women for that, by the way. And a shouting match
30:26
Speaker 2: back and forth until your man from Strong Armenia, Narek.
30:30
Speaker 2: We'll just call him Narek.
30:31
Speaker 1: I'm not taking this thing as anything, Tom.
30:34
Speaker 2: Nah, these aren't even funny, lads. These are just clattered
30:38
Speaker 2: together fucking vowels stuck in wrong places. Basically, your man
30:43
Speaker 2: turned around being a prize prick from Strong Armenia.
30:46
Speaker 1: I mean.
30:47
Speaker 2: Do you know what? These fellas are in every political
30:50
Speaker 2: party in the fucking world. Like these fucking mad owl
30:54
Speaker 2: cunts who you know they're like, they just have lived
30:57
Speaker 2: in this fucking, this echo chamber forever where they can
31:01
Speaker 2: just say anything. Your man just looked him straight at
31:04
Speaker 2: him and went, yeah, well, it's not my fault. You're
31:06
Speaker 2: an absolute mess from head to toe. That's fucking hurtful
31:11
Speaker 2: now that it's like. And it basically just went for
31:14
Speaker 2: the center podium then.
31:17
Speaker 1: Again, we stress, this is happening in time. So what
31:19
Speaker 1: we wanted to talk about here, they're literally smashing chairs
31:24
Speaker 1: over each other. It's like the fucking Royal Rumble here.
31:26
Speaker 2: Glasses of water went flying as well. Jugs of water
31:29
Speaker 2: fucked on top of each other. They went all in.
31:32
Speaker 2: They knew the cameras were turned on. They didn't care though. Yeah.
31:37
Speaker 1: It's a real sort of empty the seats, pierce six brawl.
31:42
Speaker 1: What I want to say to you, Tom, is We're
31:46
Speaker 1: not calling for that kind of... Violence in the double although...
31:49
Speaker 1: Every now and then... When some of these fuckers speak Tom...
31:51
Speaker 1: I just instinctively make fists... When it comes time for elections...
31:57
Speaker 1: Next time in Armenia... If you're a politician... Do you
32:02
Speaker 1: put forward to the... Population... That if elected... You will
32:06
Speaker 1: not fight... Or will you turn around and go... Well
32:09
Speaker 1: in actual fact... I've got... 7 and 0 on the octagon...
32:14
Speaker 1: I'm your man. Because not only will I fight for
32:16
Speaker 1: you politically, if it comes to it, I'll fucking gouge
32:19
Speaker 1: a few bastards. Like, I mean... Do you put it
32:22
Speaker 1: on your resume? Yes, you know, I have a strong
32:25
Speaker 1: belief in protecting the national language. I also want to
32:29
Speaker 1: lower the price of fuel at the pumps. And I
32:32
Speaker 1: will pull a cunt's eye out. I don't care.
32:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see, I'm out of stage now. Am I
32:39
Speaker 2: turning into that? angry middle-aged fucking white guy. But, I
32:45
Speaker 2: think I'm up to me fucking oxters with the watery,
32:49
Speaker 2: jelly-backed fuckers that we seem to have one conveyor belt
32:53
Speaker 2: after another. Where I'm going, you know what? If somebody
32:57
Speaker 2: came up with just those couple of policies going, I'm
32:59
Speaker 2: dropping the price of fuel. I've done a deal.
33:02
Speaker 1: 100%.
33:03
Speaker 2: You can chuck me out of office if inside three
33:06
Speaker 2: months I haven't dropped fuel by 40%. And also, Anybody
33:11
Speaker 2: steps to me, I'm going to slap the living shit
33:14
Speaker 2: out of them. And I mean, I will hit them
33:16
Speaker 2: till the fucking teeth rattle off the inside of their head.
33:19
Speaker 1: You mark my words.
33:21
Speaker 2: Anybody in this doll, I'll meet you outside, tops off.
33:24
Speaker 2: Let's fucking go.
33:26
Speaker 1: You can count on me as being the one he
33:27
Speaker 1: is going to fucking meet.
33:28
Speaker 2: I'm going to vote for that.
33:29
Speaker 1: I'm going to raise hospital numbers, motherfucker. Starting with you.
33:33
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?
33:35
Speaker 2: I would, I'd have, you know what, you go, but fuck.
33:38
Speaker 1: Fucking waiting lists are about to get a wee bit longer.
33:40
Speaker 1: Let's go, bitch.
33:42
Speaker 2: Sometimes, you know what, you're like... Because, I mean, how
33:45
Speaker 2: funny would it be if you had like a really
33:48
Speaker 2: well-spoken but incredibly intimidating politician in the Dáil? Like the
33:56
Speaker 2: sort of fella that you'd look at and go, you know,
33:59
Speaker 2: he doesn't even have to be big. You know those
34:00
Speaker 2: fuckers you just look once and go.
34:02
Speaker 1: There's a couple of guys, I'll tell you now, and
34:04
Speaker 1: we'll not go through them one by one, but... I
34:08
Speaker 1: wouldn't have fought Brian Cowan.
34:11
Speaker 2: He's from Offaly. Yeah.
34:12
Speaker 1: He's from Offaly. Look at the fucking stature of him. Yeah.
34:15
Speaker 1: You try and knock that man over. All right.
34:17
Speaker 2: You're not. You're not knocking him over.
34:18
Speaker 1: That's not happening.
34:19
Speaker 2: No.
34:19
Speaker 1: And that's a fella now that has herded bullocks into
34:23
Speaker 1: crushes before. It ain't happening, baby.
34:26
Speaker 2: It ain't happening. I reckon you'd have a fucking handful
34:31
Speaker 2: in Danny Healy Ray.
34:33
Speaker 1: Oh, either of the Healy Rays.
34:33
Speaker 2: Yeah.
34:34
Speaker 1: Don't forget about it. No, no, no.
34:35
Speaker 2: It'd be a fucking handful of just there'd be power
34:39
Speaker 2: in mad old Danny but Michael Healy Ray would be
34:44
Speaker 2: wiry like he'd be fucking wiry strong like do you
34:47
Speaker 2: know that old fellow who never wore gloves like just
34:51
Speaker 2: fucking like he's twisting bull wire on a fence post
34:54
Speaker 2: with his hands while chatting to you rather than using
34:57
Speaker 2: rather than using you know a fence and pliers like.
35:02
Speaker 1: Then you have a few lads on the on the
35:04
Speaker 1: on the On the back bench, shall we say, Tom,
35:08
Speaker 1: you'd put two or three of them down to get
35:09
Speaker 1: into a good row.
35:11
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. I mean, even, you know, our leaders, like,
35:15
Speaker 2: if anybody wants to come see my new show, it's
35:19
Speaker 2: almost done. There's like three more dates, but you'll see
35:22
Speaker 2: it out by Christmas. It'll be out on YouTube. There
35:27
Speaker 2: is a bit, a whole bit in it where I can't,
35:30
Speaker 2: it's interesting we ended up here, that I just want
35:32
Speaker 2: to see, I just want to see a bit of
35:35
Speaker 2: a hard cut. Whether it be verbally, Or physically. I
35:38
Speaker 2: just want to see a bit of a hard cut.
35:40
Speaker 2: Just once. Once.
35:42
Speaker 1: Can we not.
35:42
Speaker 2: Why do we have to keep on having these Mr.
35:45
Speaker 2: fucking Smithers. Fuck. Montgomery fucking Burns. And Smithers. That's essentially
35:50
Speaker 2: who we have. I'll tell you what we'll do.
35:54
Speaker 1: So to avoid the sort of. Maria kind of shit.
35:57
Speaker 1: That's going on over in Armenia. But then also not
36:00
Speaker 1: have this kind of.
36:01
Speaker 2: Oh.
36:02
Speaker 1: He said a rude word.
36:03
Speaker 2: Yeah. He said a rude word. Yeah. Yeah.
36:05
Speaker 1: I'll offer you. A Lafayette halfway house inspired by a
36:10
Speaker 1: previous sect of this lad, the hockey players, Tom. What
36:16
Speaker 1: if every party had an enforcer?
36:18
Speaker 2: Now, I think that's, yeah, I think that's the little
36:22
Speaker 2: release valve that's allowed. I think that's a great, like
36:25
Speaker 2: you're a champion, isn't that what they used to call
36:26
Speaker 2: it in medieval times?
36:27
Speaker 1: You'd have a champion. Yeah. So when Micheál Martin's there
36:31
Speaker 1: shouting across at Sinn Féin and he's giving out the Yeah,
36:34
Speaker 1: Mary Lou Macdonald giving out about this, that and the other.
36:37
Speaker 1: You just see the Sinn Féin enforcer just approaching the
36:39
Speaker 1: Fianna Fáil benches as if to say, now keep talking, buddy,
36:42
Speaker 1: keep talking, it's coming. But at the same time, you've
36:45
Speaker 1: got the Fianna Fáil enforcer or whatever that fucking milk
36:47
Speaker 1: drinker might be. He's making his way over to the
36:49
Speaker 1: middle as well. And then the Cairn Car is like,
36:51
Speaker 1: all right, all right, let them settle it out. Let
36:53
Speaker 1: them settle it out. And the two lads just go
36:56
Speaker 1: to fisticuffs in the middle of the doll. And then
36:58
Speaker 1: when all is said and done, sin bin them for
37:00
Speaker 1: five or ten minutes and continue with your business.
37:03
Speaker 2: Are they in suits, but have the sleeves cut off? Tom?
37:07
Speaker 1: Tom? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
37:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that.
37:11
Speaker 1: Absolutely. I think that's, you know, I think that's a
37:14
Speaker 1: good halfway house. It's not just an all in Donnybrook.
37:17
Speaker 1: It's just when shit goes down.
37:18
Speaker 2: Because you know it'll be some shitty fight. Like it
37:22
Speaker 2: would be the silly nannies versus the fucking flounces.
37:25
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? You wouldn't have to
37:27
Speaker 1: tidy up after it.
37:30
Speaker 2: I reckon Mary Lou would be the most fucking dangerous
37:32
Speaker 2: out of all of them like she'd fucking bring an
37:33
Speaker 2: XL bullion with her and just fucking set it loose
37:35
Speaker 2: on everybody I'll.
37:37
Speaker 1: Tell you I'll tell you when we get off air
37:38
Speaker 1: Tom a couple of people that I wouldn't have messed
37:40
Speaker 1: with I'm not saying it on me because these fuckers
37:42
Speaker 1: will sue and I'll tell you remember that.
37:45
Speaker 2: Maniac he was he was an independent a couple of
37:47
Speaker 2: years ago and he had this thing where he was
37:50
Speaker 2: he was a Dublin fella but he had a Harley
37:53
Speaker 2: and a couple of slithers and a few plasterboards.
37:55
Speaker 1: We're talking about we're talking about rows that'll take place
37:57
Speaker 1: in the Dáil Tom he's not going to get to
37:59
Speaker 1: the door. No, no, no, no.
38:01
Speaker 2: But he had that aggressive, he was like, and he
38:04
Speaker 2: had his policies written on the plasterboard.
38:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he'd smash through them with a Harley as
38:09
Speaker 1: you have to say. I'm a tough guy and like,
38:10
Speaker 1: you know, my child can push through plasterboard, Tommy. Let's
38:13
Speaker 1: be honest with you.
38:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
38:14
Speaker 1: You left that plasterboard out in the rain so it'd
38:16
Speaker 1: be good and soggy. Oh, sick. Come here, listen, we'll
38:20
Speaker 1: push on, Tom, with the final segment of the show.
38:22
Speaker 1: We've been remembering shit all afternoon, folks. But now we've
38:26
Speaker 1: got a segment just far remembering it it's called we
38:29
Speaker 1: remember when when i was a young lad 20 or
38:32
Speaker 1: 30 or 40 years ago it's an interesting time isn't
38:36
Speaker 1: it what a time to be alive tom what a
38:39
Speaker 1: time to be alive or this is news that's happening
38:42
Speaker 1: as we speak yeah again what i find a lot
38:44
Speaker 1: with the tom and jerry show now lately tom is
38:46
Speaker 1: we put out stories where we're kind of like we'll
38:49
Speaker 1: have a little bit of um a laugh with them.
38:52
Speaker 1: But by the time this episode drops in three days' time,
38:54
Speaker 1: the world could be a very fucking different place. It
38:55
Speaker 1: gets very.
38:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, it has actually... It could get very serious very quick.
38:59
Speaker 2: It can get very serious, yeah.
39:00
Speaker 1: I will say that I correctly called it that the
39:03
Speaker 1: super virus, the Resident Evil virus that broke loose in Russia,
39:08
Speaker 1: it must be about six weeks ago, doesn't appear to
39:10
Speaker 1: have come to anything, Tom. So a lot of the
39:12
Speaker 1: times were grand. But cyber security, Tom.
39:16
Speaker 2: True, Gerry, but also you're talking about deepest, coldest Russia, where...
39:20
Speaker 2: Let's just say a media blackout can happen if you
39:24
Speaker 2: need to wipe a million people off the fucking planet.
39:27
Speaker 2: You know, but sorry, go ahead.
39:29
Speaker 1: Well, let's move away from deepest, darkest Russia and move
39:32
Speaker 1: on to the subject of cyber attacks on the Irish government, Tom.
39:35
Speaker 1: Could have come from anywhere, who knows? Could have come
39:37
Speaker 1: from anywhere? Yeah, but Russia would be a fair middle
39:41
Speaker 1: in bed here. And they're very insidious cyber attacks, which
39:46
Speaker 1: are undergoing right now at the minute There are the
39:48
Speaker 1: refrigeration systems at 13 Super Value stores around Ireland tonight, Monday,
39:53
Speaker 1: who have currently been shut down by a cyber attack
39:58
Speaker 1: because all of these fridges, for reasons that we will
40:02
Speaker 1: get into, Tom, are connected to the internet. And I
40:06
Speaker 1: guess it's just like a real soft target for cyber
40:09
Speaker 1: terrorists around the world from Russia or North Korea or
40:13
Speaker 1: wherever they might be to switch off the fridges in
40:17
Speaker 1: Super Value. You and I might turn around and go like,
40:21
Speaker 1: you know, prankish enough. Seems like a boyish enough prank.
40:24
Speaker 1: But in actual fact, you're spoiling all of the food
40:27
Speaker 1: in a supermarket in a town. If you can do
40:30
Speaker 1: the 13 supermarkets in Ireland, Tom, I rest assured you
40:33
Speaker 1: can fucking do them to them all.
40:35
Speaker 2: Yeah. That was, I don't know, a shot across the bow.
40:40
Speaker 2: You know, kind of in a way.
40:42
Speaker 1: And all of a sudden it becomes not so fucking
40:44
Speaker 1: funny when you think, ah, Jesus, you know what, I'll
40:45
Speaker 1: get a pizza this evening. And you go to Super
40:47
Speaker 1: Value or Lidl or Aldi or wherever it might be
40:49
Speaker 1: and be like, actually, do you know what? All the
40:50
Speaker 1: frozen food section, we've had to throw it all out
40:52
Speaker 1: because it's all spoiled, everything in the whole shop. And
40:56
Speaker 1: then if they keep that up for three or four months,
40:58
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's not that fucking funny, Tom. No, no, no, no.
41:02
Speaker 2: That's where things get a little bit squirrely. And what
41:05
Speaker 2: a way to go about it. And you'd think it's
41:08
Speaker 2: not something you'd ever consider because I do know a
41:11
Speaker 2: very big, they're not pharma, but a medical devices company
41:15
Speaker 2: was shut down for, A number of days. I don't
41:19
Speaker 2: know which one of their plants was shut down, but
41:21
Speaker 2: there were a few big ones around Ireland, quite a
41:23
Speaker 2: big employer. Yeah. They were shut down. And I was like, okay, well, that's,
41:27
Speaker 2: you know, they would have a lot of tech in there.
41:29
Speaker 2: And you don't really think about the likes of a
41:31
Speaker 2: fridge getting shut down. But then in what would seem
41:35
Speaker 2: like in my early 20s, I remember, I remember when,
41:40
Speaker 2: as we were just talking about this, a friend of mine,
41:44
Speaker 2: That's what he was, was a refrigeration engineer. And he
41:49
Speaker 2: kept an eye on... We'd be out and we were
41:51
Speaker 2: out one night having a drink and he had a
41:55
Speaker 2: pad with him, should we say. For all the world,
41:57
Speaker 2: it was like a BlackBerry at the time. You know
41:59
Speaker 2: what I mean?
41:59
Speaker 1: Right.
42:00
Speaker 2: It had a pen and everything with it. But it
42:03
Speaker 2: was linked to the internet and he had to rush
42:06
Speaker 2: off because the Dunn Stores fridges were acting up. Now,
42:09
Speaker 2: we were fucking five miles away in the city. And
42:13
Speaker 2: even then, I was like, fuck. This is like 2002, 2003.
42:19
Speaker 2: He was able to keep an eye on the fridges
42:21
Speaker 2: from here. Fucking hell. Now, I don't know how broad
42:26
Speaker 2: that gateway was. Was it just from that little thing
42:31
Speaker 2: in his pocket to this? Or was it via the internet?
42:34
Speaker 2: I don't fucking know. But I remember going, fucking hell.
42:36
Speaker 2: That's futuristic. You could shut down the fridges from the pub.
42:42
Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
42:45
Speaker 1: Get a couple of cans and just be like, yeah, lads,
42:47
Speaker 1: come here. Who wants a cheap pizza? Yeah, these things
42:50
Speaker 1: are going to have yellow stickers on them by morning. So, like,
42:53
Speaker 1: that is just it, Tom. The we remember when of
42:55
Speaker 1: it all is not the fact that there's a cyber
42:58
Speaker 1: security attack happening right now, but we remember a time,
43:02
Speaker 1: it must be said, you and I, when your fridge...
43:06
Speaker 1: Was not connected to the internet. I appreciate, as you
43:09
Speaker 1: know there, as you said there 20 years ago, your
43:11
Speaker 1: pal was keeping tabs on huge refrigerators and banks of
43:17
Speaker 1: fridges in supermarkets. And all of that, I guess, has
43:20
Speaker 1: to have some sort of central control and needs to
43:23
Speaker 1: be applicable or all that. Tom, I was in Power
43:26
Speaker 1: City the other day getting a USB key and every
43:30
Speaker 1: fridge in right there has Wi-Fi connectivity.
43:34
Speaker 2: If I turn down the Wi-Fi... What the fuck am I.
43:36
Speaker 1: What am I dealing with here?
43:37
Speaker 2: If I start searching for Wi-Fi on my phone right now,
43:40
Speaker 2: I'll find the washing machine. The new fridge, which we
43:44
Speaker 2: were waiting until we'd everything kind of... A lot of
43:47
Speaker 2: things in place. The new fridge is arriving this week.
43:50
Speaker 2: I'm informed that I can link my phone to the...
43:54
Speaker 2: The washing machine, I kind of understand. I don't use
43:57
Speaker 2: that facility because, you know, If I got to put
44:04
Speaker 2: the fucking, unless we have an AI robot to put
44:06
Speaker 2: the fucking washing in.
44:08
Speaker 1: I have to go out to the machine to take
44:09
Speaker 1: stuff in and put stuff out of it. And at
44:11
Speaker 1: that point, I'm beside it. I can press it open.
44:13
Speaker 2: So I'm kind of, but I'm really struggling to what
44:17
Speaker 2: the fuck I'm going to need to know is going
44:20
Speaker 2: on with the fridge.
44:21
Speaker 1: Here's the thing, Tom. Okay. So again, we've seen all
44:23
Speaker 1: of these things come and all of these things hopefully
44:26
Speaker 1: fucking go. There was a time where your fridges didn't
44:32
Speaker 1: have these things. And all of a sudden it was, well,
44:35
Speaker 1: you know, you can, if you so wish, download the
44:38
Speaker 1: Whirlpool app and use your phone to turn on and
44:40
Speaker 1: off your washing machine. Or you can download the Samsung
44:42
Speaker 1: app and, you know, it'll tell you whether your fridge
44:44
Speaker 1: is refrigeration or anything like that. If you go to
44:47
Speaker 1: buy one of these things now, you have to connect
44:51
Speaker 1: it to the internet. There's no other way. It has
44:54
Speaker 1: to be connected just like your laptop has to be connected. Otherwise,
44:57
Speaker 1: it don't work, it don't run, and it's all salty
45:00
Speaker 1: under the guise of, Oh, we just have to check
45:02
Speaker 1: for updates. Oh, we just have to check for updates.
45:04
Speaker 2: Hold on.
45:04
Speaker 1: Make sure you're receiving the optimum fridginess.
45:08
Speaker 2: Does the washing machine... Because I think herself has it connected.
45:11
Speaker 2: So does the fridge now? This new fridge is coming
45:14
Speaker 2: on Thursday.
45:15
Speaker 1: I'm going to have to... New one's coming, Tom. New
45:17
Speaker 1: one's coming. A lot of them now at the minute.
45:20
Speaker 1: And I don't want to be like, many such cases.
45:23
Speaker 1: But a lot of them's coming now. It's like... What's
45:26
Speaker 1: the word I'm looking for? This planned obsolescence thing. It'll
45:29
Speaker 1: basically kill it with a software glitch. So this crack
45:33
Speaker 1: of what we grew up with, which I got to
45:35
Speaker 1: tell you, Tom, when I was growing up, I think
45:37
Speaker 1: we had the same fridge for like 20 fucking years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45:41
Speaker 1: We might have had it filled up with gas again
45:42
Speaker 1: or something like that. But the body of that thing,
45:44
Speaker 1: you could drop it out of a plane and it
45:46
Speaker 1: would be fine.
45:47
Speaker 2: The mother has a fridge below there, honest to God.
45:49
Speaker 2: I'd say it is 20 plus years. And it's still
45:52
Speaker 2: fridging away.
45:53
Speaker 1: Still fridging away. And you know what controls you needed
45:55
Speaker 1: on it, Tom? If you opened it, there was a
45:58
Speaker 1: little dial. We'd stick them. that went from zero to four.
46:03
Speaker 2: Well, if you stuck a penny into this one, you
46:05
Speaker 2: know it had the slot.
46:06
Speaker 1: You could turn it.
46:06
Speaker 2: You could turn it.
46:07
Speaker 1: How fridgy do you want it to be?
46:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you want it to be right fridgy or
46:11
Speaker 2: not fridgy?
46:12
Speaker 1: Or not fridgy. So this notion that, oh, we want
46:15
Speaker 1: you to have the best fridge experience that you can
46:18
Speaker 1: possibly have. So we gave it Wi-Fi connectivity and all
46:21
Speaker 1: AI advanced tools for fridginess and all this kind of thing. No,
46:26
Speaker 1: that's so they can fucking shut it down on you, Tom.
46:28
Speaker 1: So you have to buy another one in three years time.
46:30
Speaker 2: I went in to look at said fridge. A fridge
46:34
Speaker 2: like it, but herself had an eye on another one.
46:37
Speaker 2: But the chap that I knew in there, he was
46:39
Speaker 2: really running his mouth about this thing. I'm like, and
46:42
Speaker 2: this fucking yoke and it was going to tell me
46:44
Speaker 2: what was in the fucking fridge. And it would update
46:46
Speaker 2: my phone when I go to the shop. I'm like,
46:48
Speaker 2: are you out of your fucking mind?
46:50
Speaker 1: Are you out of your fucking mind?
46:52
Speaker 2: But he's looking at me like, but man, it'll make
46:54
Speaker 2: your life so much easier. It's just, So what? I'm
46:57
Speaker 2: just to eat the same food every fucking week because
46:59
Speaker 2: the fridge is like, sorry, Dave, we need more orange juice. Like,
47:04
Speaker 2: I don't feel like orange juice.
47:05
Speaker 1: Your mouth will spoil if you don't drink it in
47:08
Speaker 1: 16 hours. Yeah.
47:09
Speaker 2: Like, is that what we're... Like, that's where we're at. Like,
47:13
Speaker 2: the two tellies behind you, Ger, don't have the internet.
47:16
Speaker 2: But now, my son cannot grasp until he goes down
47:20
Speaker 2: to Nana's and watches Sky. Yeah. a thing isn't on
47:25
Speaker 2: whenever you need it to be on and it isn't
47:27
Speaker 2: paused in the last place you went to. So he
47:30
Speaker 2: doesn't follow.
47:30
Speaker 1: Boy, I tell you, you want to see my two
47:31
Speaker 1: kids if they go up to see their grandparents in
47:34
Speaker 1: Monaghan on a Saturday morning and they turn on the
47:36
Speaker 1: TV and all there is for them is RTE Junior
47:39
Speaker 1: and we always arrive up and around at the same
47:40
Speaker 1: time on a Saturday morning. Bluey. No, not even Bluey.
47:44
Speaker 1: There's like an, there's an Irish cartoon about like a,
47:47
Speaker 1: G18 plane hurling in Irish and my two kids are
47:51
Speaker 1: just like what the fuck is this I'll be like
47:56
Speaker 1: well go outside and run around he's like no it's
47:58
Speaker 1: TV we'll watch it but yeah yeah yeah all this
48:03
Speaker 1: to say Tom what we're going to do for a
48:05
Speaker 1: finish to this bit and we hope that Ireland does
48:08
Speaker 1: not suffer a crippling super value cyber security attack that
48:14
Speaker 1: renders all the mints in the country uneatable What we're
48:17
Speaker 1: going to do is we're going to remember, Tom. I'm
48:19
Speaker 1: going to give you a couple of household appliances now.
48:21
Speaker 1: And I want you to tell me, in as few
48:25
Speaker 1: words as you can, how they used to work without
48:30
Speaker 1: internet connectivity. Smart capabilities, AI controls, and the like. What
48:36
Speaker 1: do you think?
48:38
Speaker 2: Hit me. I'm going to nail this.
48:41
Speaker 1: Tom, a fridge. A fridge these days, you connect it
48:43
Speaker 1: to the internet, it tells you when the milk isn't
48:45
Speaker 1: cold enough, it tells you all these things. How did
48:46
Speaker 1: that used to work when you were growing up?
48:48
Speaker 2: You opened the door and then you put the stuff
48:51
Speaker 2: in and then you closed it and never thought about
48:53
Speaker 2: it again until you opened it the next time.
48:57
Speaker 1: Interesting, Tom. Interesting, Tom. What about a washing machine? My
48:59
Speaker 1: washing machine now, I have not connected it to the internet, but.
49:02
Speaker 2: It plays me a range of jazzy stuff.
49:05
Speaker 1: Oh, stop.
49:05
Speaker 2: So does the oaken side for folks.
49:08
Speaker 1: And if I was to connect it to the internet,
49:10
Speaker 1: It would update those songs seasonally and play different songs
49:14
Speaker 1: throughout the year. Tom, the washing machine you had in
49:16
Speaker 1: your house when you were small, what song did it
49:19
Speaker 1: sing you?
49:19
Speaker 2: Buddy it sang when you couldn't fucking you nearly launched
49:24
Speaker 2: the door open when you were trying to get the
49:25
Speaker 2: fucking thing open it yeah the song it sang was
49:30
Speaker 2: an unmistakable sound of high pressure water blasting into the
49:35
Speaker 2: fucking drawer only for you to realise fuck I didn't
49:37
Speaker 2: put any detergent in um But no, you.
49:41
Speaker 1: With subtle notes of a bear and going.
49:43
Speaker 2: Or when you absolutely hammered it with weight and it went...
49:49
Speaker 2: As it just grinded against the glass door. Gerard, you
49:53
Speaker 2: opened the fucking thing. You threw the shit in and
49:55
Speaker 2: you closed it. Either with a pod in it or
49:59
Speaker 2: do you remember the little rubber fucking half ball that
50:01
Speaker 2: you'd fill up with goo?
50:03
Speaker 1: Or fill away the fucking... Fill.
50:05
Speaker 2: The drawer for your... Fill your fucking boots.
50:07
Speaker 1: Fuck it into it.
50:08
Speaker 2: Fuck it into it. Slam it. Hit the button and
50:10
Speaker 2: walk away. Come back whenever.
50:12
Speaker 1: Well then, Tom, I dare say for a finish here,
50:16
Speaker 1: the kettle that you had when you were little.
50:19
Speaker 2: No, fuck off. Kettles aren't with Wi-Fi now, are they? Oh, aye.
50:22
Speaker 1: How are you supposed to know when the water's boiled?
50:25
Speaker 2: Fuck off, aren't they?
50:26
Speaker 1: How are you supposed to know when the water is
50:28
Speaker 1: boiled for optimum tea drinking?
50:31
Speaker 2: I hear you.
50:32
Speaker 1: Fucking hell. Right.
50:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, you put water in, press button down, make sure
50:38
Speaker 2: the plug is in the wall They are.
50:41
Speaker 1: But how do you know when it's done, Tom?
50:44
Speaker 2: The button clicks.
50:46
Speaker 1: But how do you know if you're not there looking
50:48
Speaker 1: at it?
50:48
Speaker 2: But don't be boiling fucking water when you're not in
50:50
Speaker 2: the fucking room.
50:51
Speaker 1: The fuck are you doing?
50:54
Speaker 2: A child could walk in and pull it down on
50:55
Speaker 2: top of its fucking head, you gull. How big is
50:57
Speaker 2: your fucking house?
50:59
Speaker 1: All of this to say, not every technological advancement that
51:02
Speaker 1: we have enjoyed over 40 years on this rock Has
51:06
Speaker 1: been a good one. A lot of them, I think,
51:08
Speaker 1: are just there to break. So you'll have to buy
51:10
Speaker 1: a new one. Would you care, Mr. O'Mahony?
51:12
Speaker 2: That's all stuff seems to do right now. That's all
51:15
Speaker 2: stuff seems to fucking do. Cars are the primary fucking...
51:19
Speaker 2: And now household items. If you're putting it into a kettle,
51:23
Speaker 2: you need to fucking.
51:24
Speaker 1: Have a word with yourself. Have a word with yourself.
51:27
Speaker 2: For the love of fuck.
51:28
Speaker 1: These things are not built the last time. They're built
51:30
Speaker 1: to break. Hence why....
51:34
Speaker 2: The one we got a gift of an Alexa and
51:39
Speaker 2: that Alexa is down in my parents place I'm not
51:43
Speaker 2: having that bitch inside my kitchen.
51:44
Speaker 1: Fucking telling me.
51:45
Speaker 2: There you go I'm not having she the only bit
51:49
Speaker 2: of fucking interaction she gets when my son goes down
51:52
Speaker 2: and goes Alexa play me a funny sounded fart play
51:56
Speaker 2: fart noises yeah and that's it and she's getting nothing
51:59
Speaker 2: from my family that's for sure bar that fucking absolute
52:02
Speaker 2: drunkenness dross that you get from a seven year old.
52:05
Speaker 1: Well listen we as the Tom and Jerry show are
52:07
Speaker 1: getting plenty from our social media channels thank you everybody
52:09
Speaker 1: that chimed in over the lengthy Halloween break we had
52:12
Speaker 1: a Halloween special last week as well so we're only
52:15
Speaker 1: coming back to you now after two weeks and indeed
52:17
Speaker 1: from a couple of weeks ago Glenn Mac on Spotify
52:20
Speaker 1: says after I had I think quite calmly explained how
52:25
Speaker 1: I used to build explosives in the back of my
52:28
Speaker 1: garden asks.
52:29
Speaker 2: Me if he incendiary devices there is what you were creating.
52:32
Speaker 1: Well, he suggests, he recommends a broad black... I could
52:36
Speaker 1: never say this, Tom. That's why they never let me in.
52:37
Speaker 1: A broad black brimmer. That's amazing.
52:43
Speaker 2: Well done, Glenn. Ribbons frayed and torn, yeah?
52:47
Speaker 1: For my next experiment. And then, not for nothing as well,
52:52
Speaker 1: over here, we missed Sean chiming in about LucasAid. I
52:58
Speaker 1: think that we forgot when we were talking about LucasAid
52:59
Speaker 1: and Monster Energy drinks back in the day and Sean
53:02
Speaker 1: you must be a wee bit older than me and
53:03
Speaker 1: Tom he remembers buying it in the chemist go away
53:10
Speaker 1: which was a thing as well yeah but the LucasAid.
53:12
Speaker 2: Sweets were in the chemist you used to.
53:14
Speaker 1: Buy the drink in the chemist as well like you'd
53:15
Speaker 1: go in and like die and like what have you
53:17
Speaker 1: got for me so yeah I'd throw some LucasAid into
53:20
Speaker 1: there as well what else have we got no I
53:22
Speaker 1: tell you we've got a couple no I have to
53:24
Speaker 1: go now I'm way back here now Tom No, but hey,
53:26
Speaker 1: look at all this good stuff that we're getting in
53:29
Speaker 1: from the people that are chiming in on our social
53:31
Speaker 1: media channels, etc. Indeed, Tom had a listener throw in
53:35
Speaker 1: a This Lad suggestion, which became This Lad. There you go, folks.
53:38
Speaker 1: Thank you for your contributions. If you want to become
53:40
Speaker 1: more active with the show, follow us on Instagram at TomAndJerryShow,
53:45
Speaker 1: Tom with a G. Tom with a T, Jerry with
53:48
Speaker 1: a G. Nice. Fucking nights are closing in on me, Tom.
53:51
Speaker 1: Tom with a T, Gerry with a G. Fill your
53:53
Speaker 1: days with golf and bullshit. You can find me on
53:55
Speaker 1: Blue Sky. Tom's haunt of choice is Instagram.
53:59
Speaker 2: Like Gerry said, one of the chaps.
54:01
Speaker 1: I tried to say.
54:02
Speaker 2: Tried to say. But we know you got it out
54:04
Speaker 2: about Spotify that you can chime in on Spotify. So
54:06
Speaker 2: please do. If you have given the five stars, thank
54:08
Speaker 2: you very much. If you haven't done, go ahead, zoom
54:10
Speaker 2: back in and go here. Five stars for the lads.
54:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, go on.
54:13
Speaker 2: Whatever platform you're on, please do let us know through
54:15
Speaker 2: the social media platforms. Either... leave us a comment or
54:19
Speaker 2: screen grab it let us know where in the world
54:21
Speaker 2: you're listening to that's always class to find out when
54:24
Speaker 2: people are like I do when you when I can
54:27
Speaker 2: look at the maps every so often when I look
54:29
Speaker 2: into it we're in a mad fucking place I'm guessing
54:31
Speaker 2: lads are working out there or whatever or they're on
54:33
Speaker 2: holidays but we could easily.
54:35
Speaker 1: Or we'll be in cyber attack one or the other.
54:36
Speaker 2: We could easily be in Armenia right now with somebody
54:39
Speaker 2: which would be fucking amazing or Dagestan where those bears
54:42
Speaker 2: came out of but you know where Jared chickened out
54:44
Speaker 2: of that story I.
54:45
Speaker 1: Did not chicken out. They just weren't worth talking about
54:47
Speaker 1: is all I'm saying.
54:48
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
54:49
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it.
54:50
Speaker 1: Let me get this one and give it a bit
54:52
Speaker 1: of justice here.
54:56
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's one of the Dagestani Bears, isn't it?
54:58
Speaker 1: It's one of the Dagestani Bears. We were talking shop
55:01
Speaker 1: nightmares back in the day and Seamus chimes in here.
55:03
Speaker 1: Seamus Stackpool over on Instagram chimes in.
55:06
Speaker 2: He... Come on, I'm sure Seamus is a fucking ripper
55:16
Speaker 2: or whatever it is. Bright is losing it over there.
55:19
Speaker 1: Okay, cyber attacks are one thing for supermarkets. Every now
55:24
Speaker 1: and then you just let a lad like Seamus in
55:25
Speaker 1: the back of it and he'll do all the business
55:27
Speaker 1: you want, right? But he had the keys to lock
55:30
Speaker 1: up the place. He had the keys to lock up
55:32
Speaker 1: every lock in the store. And he's walking around the
55:35
Speaker 1: back and he has to sort of... And he doesn't
55:37
Speaker 1: mention it here, but I reckon it's for laziness. He
55:39
Speaker 1: had to squeeze between a pallet of goods and the
55:41
Speaker 1: hydraulic plastic baler. I remember the hydraulic plastic balers.
55:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.
55:44
Speaker 1: They were like a big sort of press of a thing.
55:46
Speaker 1: I used to love playing with them. He's too... It's
55:50
Speaker 1: too narrow for him to get through. So what he
55:51
Speaker 1: does is he puts his hand above his head with
55:53
Speaker 1: keys in his hand and sort of... shimmies around it,
55:55
Speaker 1: and then drops the keys down into the hydraulic baler.
55:58
Speaker 2: Fuck.
55:59
Speaker 1: Oh, Jesus Christ. So now he can't shut the place,
56:07
Speaker 1: and he has to ring everybody to come down to
56:08
Speaker 1: see if they can get the keys out of the
56:10
Speaker 1: machinery of the baler. And they've got hooks on strings,
56:14
Speaker 1: and they've got magnets, and they've got all things, and
56:16
Speaker 1: then they had to get six boys in to turn
56:18
Speaker 1: it on, and tip it upside down. Oh, fuck. there
56:22
Speaker 1: was a time Seamus you'd have been fucking sent in
56:24
Speaker 1: after them keys buddy thank you for that story that
56:26
Speaker 1: really tickled me there that tickled me there where were
56:29
Speaker 1: we on the wrap up procedure there Tom we nearly
56:31
Speaker 1: had it done didn't.
56:32
Speaker 2: We we're pretty much there yeah pretty much there I'll
56:34
Speaker 2: give you one easy fucking night fright for anybody who
56:39
Speaker 2: thinks oh I know what scary is and I kind
56:41
Speaker 2: of alluded to when we were talking about being up
56:44
Speaker 2: in the Phoenix Park out the back of the garage
56:46
Speaker 2: of our place I went out to get a couple
56:48
Speaker 2: of sticks for the fire earlier on pitch fucking black
56:51
Speaker 2: What was waiting for me right behind the carriage? It's
56:54
Speaker 2: not your fucking goats, is it? No, the goats are away.
56:57
Speaker 2: These are the wild version. Three fucking deer are waiting
57:00
Speaker 2: for me right there. And thankfully, none of them were stags.
57:03
Speaker 2: They jumped in all fucking directions. Imagine that. Ger can't
57:07
Speaker 2: do the podcast on the way to A & E
57:08
Speaker 2: because I just got the shit kicked out of me
57:10
Speaker 2: by a fucking lunatic deer out the back of my garage.
57:14
Speaker 1: Wouldn't have fucking puzzled me.
57:16
Speaker 2: No, I suppose, yeah, to be fair, I had, yeah,
57:19
Speaker 2: almost anybody else ever said that to you before. That's
57:23
Speaker 2: an obscure thing to happen. Me, I suppose.
57:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, bound to happen.
57:27
Speaker 2: At some stage, I suppose it is.
57:29
Speaker 1: Got him. Right, that's it, Tom. Good luck. Good luck.