Latest / Millennial Mustard Seed / S5 148. Refreshment in Grief with Joy – Micro Message

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S5 148. Refreshment in Grief with Joy – Micro Message · Millennial Mustard Seed

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  Hey everybody, so I got this message from my friend in
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  response to an audio message I sent her explaining how hard it
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  is in the season. And to be honest with you, I
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  would have to admit that one of my biggest fears, as Job said,
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  the thing I feared most has come upon me is when I don't feel
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  like there's a way out. When I don't know what to do.
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  When something has been so wrong for so long and I have tried
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  everything I know, tapped into every resource I have and
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  nothing is changing. Something that is so painful and
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  I just have to accept that maybe I don't know.
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  Maybe I can't calculator, strategize, or obtain enough
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  information or tools or resources to extricate myself
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  from a painful life dynamic. And this experience being
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  ongoing has caused me to have to trust the Lord in a new way.
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  Because the truth is that I, I can't solve all of my problems.
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  And sometimes Jesus doesn't give us the fix it answer.
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  Sometimes he's like, I need you to trust me in this hard, hard,
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  hard place. And in response to that
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  conversation with my friend, I received this message.
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  And I thought, you know, I'm probably not the only person who
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  has a persistent problem. And maybe you need to hear this.
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  Maybe you're going through grief, maybe you're experiencing
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  loss in some way or other. And I just think that this
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  message, it's gold and it's truly from the lips of Yeshua
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  himself. Sorry that you are going through
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  the grief. I know you'll continue to walk
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  through it. And I know that the Lord is so
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  faithful to to hold your hand and witness it and catch every
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  tear and, and that none of it's for waste.
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  There's information in your tears.
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  I can feel his honor, the Lord's honor for you as you're trusting
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  him with your tears and that you're willing to go to that
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  place where you can grieve with him.
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  And that might just be the place you're in for a minute there.
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  There's going to be cycles of grief.
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  He's teaching you to share all of that with him and that he's
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  not going to throw it in your face.
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  And quite honestly, I don't believe he's going to leave you
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  in that place. I think there's going to be
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  something that he he gives you, but there has to be room for it
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  to land. And if you have to walk through
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  your grief, that's what that is right now.
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  And that's OK. There might not be a solution,
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  which maybe is something you need to learn is that sometimes
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  things are just hard there. There isn't always a fix it.
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  There isn't always an equation. There isn't always something to
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  put a bow on it, make it pretty again.
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  Sometimes it just is. I have to let myself feel this
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  and and to be witnessed by Yeshua in the rawness of my
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  emotion. So it's almost like, again,
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  you're turning yourself to the Lord and you're literally
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  pulling back all of the veils and the costumes and the
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  protections and you're saying, look at my bleeding heart.
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  I'm not withholding it from you. Because what does that do when
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  we expose our wound to Yeshua's light?
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  There's life that can pour back into that place.
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  And that's the only way that we can get life back into that
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  place is to literally show him everything.
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  And in even in, in that, it feels like that is an act of
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  honour to the Lord of saying, I trust you with this intimate
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  thing that I don't even know what to do with.
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  Come look at it, dissect it with me.
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  Pour your light over this. Let me weep into your shoulder.
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  Let me tell you exactly how I'm feeling.
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  It's that's intimacy. There's intimacy there.
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  Maybe attempt to stop squirming. Someone should just like honor
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  that there's grief there. There's not a good way through
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  grief other than just letting yourself feel it and and move
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  it. Give it to the Lord.
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  Have the Lord witness you in your grief.
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  It's OK to not know. Maybe that's your answer from
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  the Lord right now. It's like not yet love.
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  It's OK to be in the I don't know again, instead of flailing
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  around and trying to come up with a solution, I have to fix
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  this there. I'm, you know, I just found the
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  I just have to find the right equation.
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  I just have to read the right book.
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  I just have to find the thing. Da, da, da.
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  There's got to be an there's got to be an answer.
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  There's got to be an answer. It's eluding you from actually
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  being in a place of stillness with the Lord.
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  Again, sometimes the I don't know is the answer until he
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  tells you there's a different answer.
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  And what a practice to stop flailing.
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  It reminds me of trying to hug a kid that's throwing a temper
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  tantrum when they finally give in.
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  Let the Lord wrap himself around you.
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  Even in the I don't know. That might be his actual answer
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  for you is not yet like stay in the I don't know because He
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  does. He knows.
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  Like set aside what your brain thinks it knows and trust that
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  He does and that is trustworthy. You can stake your life on what
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  he knows. And he also, I think, honors
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  that you're going to him with all of this, that you are being
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  obedient. It's not about you performing
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  correctly in this. It is about you turning to Lord
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  as you're doing and, and you've listened to him.
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  He's asked you to let him be your everything and that's what
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  you're doing. Is it messy and sad and
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  frustrating and all the things? Absolutely.
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  But again, this is what intimacy looks like.
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  It's not always pretty. It's not always peaceful.
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  It's OK to be in the I don't know and, and to let the Lord
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  show you as he's been doing and revealing to you where you need
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  to take accountability or where you need to get healing or you
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  know that you're taking accountability for your part and
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  he's showing you those things as he sees they're beneficial for
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  you. Trust his timing.
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  It's not about your timing, It's about his always like lay down
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  your timeline at his feet. Say yes to his, even if that
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  means that your nervous system and your brain flail around
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  because you don't know what the answers are.
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  Who cares if you don't know what the answers are?
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  The Lord does. Who cares if you don't know what
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  the path ahead looks like? The Lord does.
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  And that is absolutely enough. And it always will be.
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  Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine
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  own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,
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  and he shall drive thy paths.