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S1E4: Handling Difficult Questions · Mentoring In Ministry

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  Welcome to the Mentoring in Ministry podcast. In each
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  episode, we approach various catechetical
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  topics from different perspectives.
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  Hello, this is Scott Sollom. I'm here with
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  my friend and colleague, Drake McCalister,
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  and we're talking about catechetical conversations, the
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  types of questions that sometimes come
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  up from other catechists. Say, " Here's a
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  situation. What do you do in this situation?
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  How about this? " Here's something that I
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  think it's asked a lot. What do you do? How
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  do you handle a situation when you're in
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  a catechetical setting and someone raises
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  their hand and says something like, " Wait a second. Baptism
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  isn't necessary for salvation.
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  My dad wasn't baptized and he died. What happened to him? "
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  or, " My parents are Jehovah's
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  Witness and then they died. " or, " What's
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  going to happen if my parents don't go to
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  Mass? " A lot of these questions tend to be
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  moral in nature or look towards, " Uh oh, if
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  this is a real serious grave matter, then
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  what about the eternal destiny of me or my
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  family or my friends? How do you go
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  about handling a situation like that? "
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  Yeah, great question. Anybody that does catechesis for any
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  period of time will have these hard
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  questions. The first thing I would say is
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  catechists should never be afraid to say," I
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  don't know. " Much better to say, " I don't
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  know" than to give an answer that would be
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  very unhelpful or maybe even hurtful. The second thing I
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  would say is to always underscore
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  God's sovereignty with eternal things. That
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  it is God alone that knows the condition of
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  the heart. You look nice, you look respectable. For all I
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  know, you're a flaming pagan on
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  the inside. I don't know objectively what's
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  going on inside you. That's God's territory
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  alone. God knows what takes place in each
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  person's heart at the moment of death, in
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  those things leading up to those moments. So, it's never
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  for me to pronounce an eternal
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  destiny for another person. That's God and
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  God alone. Years ago, before I was Catholic,
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  when I was pastoring, I had a guy in my church ask me this
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  very question. My dad died, " Where
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  is he? " I asked him a few questions. He
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  could tell, " Well, he wasn't in church, didn't
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  seem to be a Christian. " So, I told him,
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  " He's in hell. " I found out later that really,
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  really hurt him and really caused him a lot of angst.
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  Later, as I entered the Catholic
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  Church and had a more full understanding of
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  God's domain in this, and it's not my call,
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  I actually contacted him back and got to apologize and say,
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  " Listen, yes, I do believe there
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  is a heaven, there is a hell, but those things are for God
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  and God alone to say who are in
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  those places. " But with that, I also think it's really
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  important that catechists don't soft sell
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  in light of the truth of the gospel. And this is important.
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  There is a heaven, there is a hell,
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  and real people do go to those places. Again, that's God's,
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  or at least they potentially can,
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  and that's God's domain that knows who goes where. So, you
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  don't want a soft sell and then say,
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  " Well, listen, as long as they were a good
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  person, I'm sure they're in heaven. " Well,
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  I don't know that they're in hell, I also don't know
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  they're in heaven, and always bring it back
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  to what we can know about salvation and our response. We
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  entrust everybody to the mercy of
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  God. Another thing I always make clear, because the church
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  has been pretty clear on this, that God
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  gives everyone a sufficient amount of grace for salvation.
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  So, no one arrives at heaven or would
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  arrive in hell without an opportunity to respond. And in
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  that is peace, in that is good news. But
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  to not soft sell the reality that God has made known what
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  must be known or to be done to follow
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  him, and that in that is good news, not bad news or
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  oppressive news, but in that is hope and
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  salvation, and not only for us, but for those, that's why
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  we want to share that. And lastly,
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  I would say, always being mindful of the person. People are
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  always asking typical questions because
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  there's a backstory. That's a great
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  point. There's maybe hurt, there's maybe pain,
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  and you want to be mindful of that. And to
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  not just give an answer that may be true,
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  but it's not speaking the truth in love. And taking time to
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  maybe either ask more questions,
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  and to get a little more insight, so that you can really
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  minister to maybe the real question that
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  is two or three levels deep, and just be manifested in this
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  experiential question at the top.
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  Great point. The balance that you're striking that reminds
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  me also of the balance between
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  presumption and despair, those kind of two extremes that
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  really are both kind of false,
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  right? In regards to hope, or on the
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  one hand, presumption like, " Hey, look,
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  you're on catechetical conversations.
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  You're going to heaven for sure. I mean,
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  God obviously loves you. You're a theologian, " which is of
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  course, would be presumptuous,
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  and no one would ever suggest that that should be the case,
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  right? We work out our salvation
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  and fear and trembling. But on the other hand, there's the
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  despair, which is, " I'm hopeless.
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  Listen, I'm the biggest sinner I know. " Or whatever
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  situation, this person who I know and love,
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  whatever the case might be, I just, that person, I'm
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  despairing. I know that God's love can't be
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  bigger than or stronger than, or whatever happened, I'm
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  sure that person is in hell. That balance
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  between not presuming on the one hand, and then not
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  despairing on the other hand, but either arriving
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  at that kind of middle term with you, or that hope, that
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  confident expectation, taking in mind,
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  as you said, that heaven and hell, objectively, they exist.
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  It's possible to go there. And so,
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  our day-to-day decisions matter. And at the same time,
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  we're never quite sure of our own salvation,
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  or the salvation of other people. We just
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  know the general parameters of what to do,
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  and then we just remain in prayerful, hopeful, looking
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  forward to receiving God's mercy in its
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  fullness. And that applies when it comes to any level of
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  suffering, natural disasters,
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  all kinds of things. When we understand that God is in
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  control, He is perfectly just,
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  and that all people receive that sufficient grace, we don't
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  need to be overly worried that
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  somehow, some people are getting a raw deal and others
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  aren't. And again, it brings us back to
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  peace, that confident expectation of hope. Yeah. Thank you,
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  Drake. Thank you for listening to this
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  episode of Mentoring in Ministry. You can also find us on
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  Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube @ the
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  Catechetical Institute, or join our online community of
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  catechists at franciscanathome.com/guild.
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  Link to all of those in the show notes. This podcast
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  is an outreach of Franciscan University
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  of Steubenville's Catechetical Institute.