Latest / Dear Chelsea / Saving the F*cking World with Celeste Barber

Transcript

Saving the F*cking World with Celeste Barber · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Should we get right into it?
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Sure? Auden say, why not?
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: We have an amazing guest today.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Who is it here?
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: From Australia?
• 0:07
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 0:07
  Speaker 5: Okay, ah, you know her.
• 0:11
  Speaker 6: She's an author, she's got her own makeup line, she's
• 0:13
  Speaker 6: a comedian, and she's the best Instagram celest Barber.
• 0:17
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and her UK, Europe and Dubai tour is kicking
• 0:20
  Speaker 7: off April fourth, so I'll be sure to check that
• 0:22
  Speaker 7: out and check out Blue Beauty at booie dot com.
• 0:26
  Speaker 6: Okay, we're sitting here with my girlfriend, Celeste Barber. She's
• 0:30
  Speaker 6: not only my girlfriend, she's a lot of things do
• 0:33
  Speaker 6: a lot of people.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: How did I find out about you? I found out
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: about you?
• 0:37
  Speaker 6: I think probably from your Instagram because she does these
• 0:41
  Speaker 6: If you don't follow her, which you should be following
• 0:43
  Speaker 6: her for those of you who are unfamiliar, she does
• 0:46
  Speaker 6: these great kind of how would you describe them?
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Just ripping off idiotic modeling.
• 0:52
  Speaker 6: Poses, and then how I would have described it, recreating
• 0:55
  Speaker 6: them as a regular person a regular.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: Parties, Yeah, parardies of them, taking inappropriate, unfluttering photos of
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: myself and putting them up against models.
• 1:04
  Speaker 6: And videos and videos are really where it's at, because
• 1:08
  Speaker 6: you know, when you.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: See honestly dogs around me at the moment, it's a
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: whole thing.
• 1:16
  Speaker 7: Let her sit here, It's fine, okay, as long as
• 1:18
  Speaker 7: she's not snorting into the microphone.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know.
• 1:20
  Speaker 6: He made some questionable sounds the other day, Doug, and
• 1:22
  Speaker 6: I was like, get out of here. It sounds like
• 1:24
  Speaker 6: someone's farting and it doesn't sound like you. Anyway, she
• 1:27
  Speaker 6: does Celet's recreates. You know what I like about it
• 1:31
  Speaker 6: more than the obvious, which is taking the piss and laughing.
• 1:34
  Speaker 6: It really shows you how ridiculous modeling can be, Like
• 1:37
  Speaker 6: what sexy is supposed to be. When these girls walk
• 1:40
  Speaker 6: around half naked, you know, with like their tongues out
• 1:42
  Speaker 6: of their mouths or just in some ridiculous pose that
• 1:46
  Speaker 6: you're like, is that sexy?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Like when did that become sexy?
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: But like walking around, you know, you know, holding a
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: green smooth like you say, we're likely their tongues hang
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: out of the mouth and the caption is just dropping
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: the kids to school, right, And.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: That's absolutely not what it looks like.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: Drop when you fucking keeps to school, that's not And
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: that's kind of why I started doing it right, because
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: it's like magazines are pain in the ass and Mike
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: us all hide ourselves, and now there's this social media
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: that kind of seeps in without us knowing.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: I was like, no, I'm going to poke fun to that.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: I actually started doing.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: It before videos were available on Instagram. Oh well I've
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: been doing this shit for a long time, but it.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Was just photos.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah, Well the videos really lend a little bit more
• 2:24
  Speaker 6: context to it because we were also just watching this
• 2:27
  Speaker 6: episode you did of Drew Barrymore Show where this is
• 2:31
  Speaker 6: an issue that happens. We get calls about this all
• 2:33
  Speaker 6: the time on this podcast about body image and how
• 2:37
  Speaker 6: do you know? Everyone always I can't get down to
• 2:39
  Speaker 6: the size I want to get down, and it's like
• 2:40
  Speaker 6: I always want to give advice that it is not
• 2:42
  Speaker 6: about dieting, you know what I mean. I want to
• 2:43
  Speaker 6: give advice about empowering yourself to accept the body that
• 2:46
  Speaker 6: you're in and be happy about it and learn like
• 2:49
  Speaker 6: how strong, healthy and vibrant you are and where your
• 2:52
  Speaker 6: value comes from, because it's not your body image that
• 2:56
  Speaker 6: is paramount to everything, you know. I spent so much
• 2:58
  Speaker 6: time in my youth and early twenties no, all of
• 3:01
  Speaker 6: my twenties just obsessing over what I looked like and
• 3:07
  Speaker 6: what a fucking waste of time that it is.
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: It's obsessing of it being thin, and I know I'm
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: forty two now, so getting into the sexy perimenopause vibes,
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: which is a real riot, and how it's like, no, no, ladies,
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: you don't need to just do cardio anymore.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: What you need to do is lift weights. And I
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: think I wish I fucking knew.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: That earlier, about how important it is to be strong
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: and healthy, not just scared and skinny at all times.
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: Or it's like skinny but grateful because you can fit
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: into clothes and that body image stuff.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: It's it's all encompassing.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Was that quote? It was it Keith Mass's quote. Nothing.
• 3:46
  Speaker 6: It tastes as good as skinny feels. She set us
• 3:50
  Speaker 6: up for this demise that we're living out.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll blame her for that, absolutely, but it is important.
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: I mean, I think you're a pretty grid example of
• 3:58
  Speaker 6: being a normal size and exploiting that you know, and
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: talking about where your value comes from, because you talked
• 4:05
  Speaker 6: about that and Drew barrymore So, I'd love for you
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: to say a little bit about that.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: Well, how I look is the least interesting thing about me,
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: and I've always kind of known that, Like I've never
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: been I look fine, but I haven't really cared, do
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean. I remember when I was younger, though,
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: my mom said to me, who are going out? I
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: don't know if maybe it was a school thing, and
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: school was a bag addicts for me, so I probably
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: didn't want to go. And mom got me something nice
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: to wear, and I was like, oh no, I don't
• 4:29
  Speaker 4: want to do it. And she said to me, you
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: are scared to look nice. You are scared to actually
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: look good because you think you can only do one
• 4:37
  Speaker 4: and you can't do the other.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: And when I was younger, of course, I was like,
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: fuck you, mommy, you don't know me. I look beautiful
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: all the time.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: You know. I was always defensive. But as I got old,
• 4:45
  Speaker 4: I was like, I think that's right. I think I'm like,
• 4:48
  Speaker 4: I know, I just have to know. My currency is
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: my sense of humor, my personality, all those.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Sort of things. People.
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: You know, I'm very open with people and I'm not
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: allowed to kind of be But as I got older,
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: I was like, I really think my currency of being
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: funny and kind and cutting through shit is a really
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: beautiful thing and it makes me feel like kind of
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: really gorgeous.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: In that world.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: And you know, it's fucking tricky because we want to
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: point at someone to blame them, but it's it's everywhere.
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: Society just looks at women and goes, if you look
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: a certain way, then certain doors will open for you.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: If you don't look a certain way, all the best.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: Sorry about that. So, like even the body positive movements,
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: like they put Ashley Graham on one catwalk and they're like, brilliant,
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: We've ticked that box.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: You know, we're being inclusive now. I never I never.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: Started this to get caught up in the body positive movement.
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: I'm very happy for that movement to pick me up,
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: but I kind of always did it just to make
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: people fucking laugh and just to.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: See how absurd it is.
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: And I did this thing in my first stand up tour,
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: had a section in my lihye.
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: I just want to say that the heavy panting is
• 6:01
  Speaker 6: celast vagina.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: And they don't want you to think that that's me
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: or anything.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: They've heard that before.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: We have we have MEMSI on the cell for today.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Catherine's dog.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, breathing heavy about if you're hearing, that's what you're hearing.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: No one's listening to me. That the fuck is going on.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: In the background. It's like a doggy.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: It's a whole other demographic for podcasts.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Sorry to interrupt, no please.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: In my first show, I did a section brave versus empowering.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: So when I would post a photo, whoever the model was,
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: I'd look on that and underneath a lot of it,
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: you know, because they're not usually wearing much. It'd be like, oh,
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: that's really empowering for women. Yeah, look at us when
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: we can get get our tits out and look amazing.
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: And then when I do my parody and put my
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: photo next to it, everyone said how brave. It was like,
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: she is for putting that body out into the world.
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: So a gorgeous model does it and it's empowering for women.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Then I do it, it's like, oh God, the children,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: it's so brave of her. I was like, that's not
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: fucking brave.
• 7:00
  Speaker 6: We have to redefine a lot of words in society.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 7:04
  Speaker 6: I remember breaking my arm when I was a little
• 7:06
  Speaker 6: girl and them telling me at the hospital how brave
• 7:09
  Speaker 6: I was, and I'm like, I didn't try to try
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: arm I didn't didn't do it on purpose. I didn't
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: run in front of a car to save another kid.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I fucking fell over my dog. Like, there's nothing brave
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: about this. Even at eight, I was like, that's not
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: the right use of that word.
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and why and always with women and girls, you're
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: being so brave. It's like, no, you were just fucking uncoordinated.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: You fell over your dog.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: It's not bright.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:30
  Speaker 6: You also said something on Drew's show that I loved,
• 7:32
  Speaker 6: which is you your husband is a tree true?
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: What is the word? Not an arborist?
• 7:37
  Speaker 6: He's an arborist okay, yeah, and you were talking about
• 7:41
  Speaker 6: what that means. You know that he gets up in
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: trim's trees and you know takes care of trees.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: But you said that you've retired him.
• 7:47
  Speaker 6: And we both loved that because we were like, thank you,
• 7:50
  Speaker 6: Like that is exactly right.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: You love that.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he loves that.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: I absolutely love that he.
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: Had Some husband is her husband, And yeah, I've met
• 7:59
  Speaker 6: him in person. We see each other in Sydney, so
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: Last and I have had a burgeoning friendship for many years.
• 8:03
  Speaker 6: We keep running into each other in different parts of
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: the world and they were nice enough to come to
• 8:08
  Speaker 6: my show and one of his shows in Sydney.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and he is very handsome and I.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Was really hot.
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: I was like, good for you, Like I love this
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: reverse dynamic, which is sadly to say a reverse dynamic, as.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: We say, absolutely, and he is incredible about that as well.
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: We have, you know, groups of friends where the couple
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: the husband is you know, well he's a like a
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: surfer or a professional surfer, but his wife has been
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: looking after those children, taking them around the world on
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: these world tours and stuff.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: But Arpy, even that's my husband's name.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: Arpy even points out that he gets so much more
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: of an audience as being a stay at home dad
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: than our friend does with being a stay at home mom.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: Like they'll be like, that's so amazing that so hang on,
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: you do the lunches for the boys every morning.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: That's amazing. And he's like, yeah, a dad, so do
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: my friends.
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: Like there's sort of those ladies over there, but there's
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: just no audience for it.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: And people always say how lucky I am, are you?
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: I'm lucky to have him.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: I'm like, bitch, I'm flying business class every way and
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: you're all lucky.
• 9:10
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and you're also fucking flying around the world doing
• 9:13
  Speaker 6: your thing and but busting your ass. Yeah, it is
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: so funny how imbalanced the like the rewards systems are
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: for men who stay at home. But I mean, I'm
• 9:22
  Speaker 6: hoping that will change, even in the face of what
• 9:24
  Speaker 6: we're dealing with politically, because women are the reason why
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: this election happened the way it is because of men,
• 9:31
  Speaker 6: I believe is because men are so threatened anyway by
• 9:33
  Speaker 6: women's success. And it's like, you can be as threatened
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: to you as you want. We're still succeeding. There are
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: too many women that are like paying for their families
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: and that are the breadwinners. Absolutely, and there are many
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: women that are single that are doing it, that are
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: choosing not to have children, and that's a huge threat
• 9:48
  Speaker 6: to men.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's fine, be threatened, but just go over
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: there and be threatened, Like, get out of the fucking
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: way and be threatened so we can just keep going.
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah, let's talk about your Also, you came when you
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: were launching your makeup line.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: Booie Yeah Bowie Boe beauty.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: She has a great makeup line that she just launched
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: and just launched here in the States as well.
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: If you're listening nationally, you're listening listening domestically, if you're
• 10:12
  Speaker 6: looking ark, if you're listening to this on AM stereo.
• 10:16
  Speaker 6: That's how my father used to go, say a stereo.
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: He's like, turn on the stereo. I'm like, where are
• 10:21
  Speaker 6: you from? Philadelphia?
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Anyway? My favorite product is that eyebrow enhanser.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: Bring back the bush.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, eyebrow bush.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because the nineties fucking stole them.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: The nineties stole them.
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: And also once you're dealing, once you hit forty five
• 10:37
  Speaker 6: or forty, your eyebrows all of a sudden turn into
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: I don't know what.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, wispy little same with my fucking hair. What's that.
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: It's like all my hair has now started growing out
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: of my face and my fucking neck and not on
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: my head, like it's thinning and it's not like feathers.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I like the idea of neck hair.
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: It was like goiter hair. It's and that thing.
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: The other day I was standing and I was like, oh,
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: this is really nice light, and my husband went yet
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: hang on and walked over and just like went yoink
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: and pulled it one and out of my neck, and
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: I was like, and asked the fucking feedback.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: He goes, you needed the feedback before you feel yourself.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Got these long, luscious locks that come out of my neck.
• 11:16
  Speaker 6: I know my sister's always goes like this. My sister
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: Shanna always goes like this. She's always feeling for her
• 11:22
  Speaker 6: whisker to come in. And I'm like, can you stop
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: rubbing your beard?
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: It's like she stop playing.
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: Come to think of it, I just spent the weekend
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: with her on the East Coast and she wasn't doing that,
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: So maybe she learned her.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, you pluck your hairs before you come out.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: She probably got someone to shave her face before you
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: turned up.
• 11:35
  Speaker 6: But you know, no, there the thicker ones, you know,
• 11:37
  Speaker 6: you know, the black ones, not the little like I
• 11:40
  Speaker 6: shaved my face all the time.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I say, I raise her right result, it's a great
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: X folio.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: It's so good.
• 11:45
  Speaker 4: But then it gets a little bit I actually did
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: it before I came over here, got a little bit
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: a little bit of stubble there. Now. I was talking
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: to a friend the other day and I thought she
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: just had like a little eyelash here, and I leant
• 11:55
  Speaker 4: over and went and pull but it was connected and
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: it's just.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: A long one and I went, oh, that's connected.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry somewhere and it was like really long, and
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: White said it wasn't there last night here this morning.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: I didn't know was connected.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: The joys of aging as a woman.
• 12:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you need good friends, but no hair on my eyebrows.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: So that's why, Yeah, bring back the bush, got to
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: draw the bastards back in.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: How long did it take you to develop your brand?
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: To create it?
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: And well, it's been in my head for a long time,
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: but you know, breaking news ADHD, So I kind.
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: Of I couldn't. I couldn't get it out of my head.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: I was kind of at a point where I was like,
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: I'm happy just to go to parties now for the
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: next five years and be like I've.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: Got a really good idea for a makeup brand and
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: do fuck all about it.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: And then I met Claire, my business partner, and she
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: was like, you're a lot and made it happen.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: So I reckon.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: We've been developing for about a year and a half,
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: two years, getting it all together and then.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Read to get something off the ground.
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: I mean, I've tried to develop things in the past
• 12:51
  Speaker 6: and I've lost interest halfway through.
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: This is too long.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: I'm exactly the same way.
• 12:55
  Speaker 6: Too long.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I don't care.
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: We launched when I was doing a world tour, which
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: was great because already I was like, do we really
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: want to do a makeup brand. They're like, we've sunk
• 13:02
  Speaker 4: a fur bit of money, Yes, idiot, yes we're gonna
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: do it.
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: I get really bored of stuff as well.
• 13:07
  Speaker 6: So and so what was your impetus, Like, what was
• 13:09
  Speaker 6: your ethos behind the bround?
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: Well, I wanted it to be makeup that you just
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: you can't fuck up because I find, like I said,
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: I'm forty two, and the only thing kind of in
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: the makeup space in the beauty space now for women
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: over the age of six is like anti aging serum
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: or anti aging cream. Like there's nothing really directly targeted
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: at us. It's like we just my eleven year old niece.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: It's all for her. And I wanted to make it
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: uncomplicated and nothing that you need to watch a seventy
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: five minute makeup tutorial to understand. Like, I love makeup.
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: I have a face for makeup, so I want I
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: really do which was great when I was younger, right
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: because at school you know, I look like a slapped ass.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: But then for a year twelve formul I rocked up
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: with makeup people like them, and I was like, yeah,
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: you're bulling me out to get that's right, I've got
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: it going on.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: So I fucking love makeup and I wanted to.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: We've started with just five products, and I just use
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: every single day, all the time to get you out
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: the door for busy moms. For I heard someone say
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: the other day that when you're in your forties, like
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: forty onward, you're moving into your invisible era. Oh I
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: don't want that, Like, I just feel like I'm getting
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: more excellent now.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: I remember you.
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: Saying that one like, you've never been in better shape
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: in your life, You've never been stronger, more successful.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: And that's exactly how I feel.
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: So and it's it's for like Wendy and Wichita who's
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: listening on the stereo. It's for those girls who come
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: to my shows all around the world. They're like placeholders
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: for everyone else in their life who are going, oh,
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: I've just used the same stuff forever because I don't understand.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I got you. This is fun, easy
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: and makes you It's all about like the best version
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: of you. That's what I'm interested in, the best version
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: of you, and that's what Boobie does.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's also low maintenance because I'm easy.
• 14:56
  Speaker 6: I'm not into you, like I like five products because
• 14:59
  Speaker 6: if I'm not camera, even for this podcast, you know,
• 15:02
  Speaker 6: I slap on some blush and some lip balm and
• 15:04
  Speaker 6: I'm like, let's just hope for the best.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: And I think that's what most of us do when.
• 15:07
  Speaker 6: I can't be bothered with all of the shenanigans around
• 15:11
  Speaker 6: makeup and all of this stuff.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: It's like taking supplements. I don't want to do that either,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: I'd just rather get a shot a week with everything
• 15:17
  Speaker 6: in it and he'd done with it.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: I'm exactly the same.
• 15:20
  Speaker 4: My kids were given all these supplements a while ago,
• 15:23
  Speaker 4: and try and get kids fucking tablets. I was like,
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: you get that at six am, you've got to have
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: that at five, you know, and all these things. And
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: I just said to my husband, let's just not give
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: them anything, and we'll pay for a fucking kidney transplant
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: or whatever when they're sixteen.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: I'd rather that. I'm not doing this shit.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: How old are your boys now?
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Ten and thirteen.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Do they respect you?
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: You just answered your own question.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: No, I'm I'm a lot for them say yes, sure, No,
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: they don't respect me.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: People love their dad.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Do they think you're funny?
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: More and more?
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Now?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Yoh more, because usually.
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: They go through a phase between those ages or around
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: those ages where they start to think, probably like thirteen
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: to sixteen more, where they are like, you're not funny,
• 16:05
  Speaker 6: You're not cool. That's the age of that. Yeah, right,
• 16:07
  Speaker 6: we'll turn on you. Yeah exactly. They're kind of getting
• 16:10
  Speaker 6: there a little bit more. My kids don't have social
• 16:14
  Speaker 6: media and hopefully they never will. They don't have a
• 16:16
  Speaker 6: game or anything like that. Really, but that's lucky your husband.
• 16:20
  Speaker 6: I'm really full on about it. I'm really fucking full
• 16:24
  Speaker 6: on you.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: I just know I don't want to and I have
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: a really overactive brain and you know, having ADHD low dopamine.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: So this thing just fucks me as it is. I
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: don't want that for my kids.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: We've just always been really full on about it and
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: kind of feel like it's easier to say no from
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: the beginning than give it to them and try and
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: take it off them, because they become fucking heroinautic monsters.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: If you take it from them. So my kids are
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: the Moor kids. When we go out for dinner with
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: friends and all the other kids are on their phone,
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: my kids sit come and sit down and go, I
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: want to play, you know, make them take cards and
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: they all the kids end up playing, but we're just quiet.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: You know, it's pronounced, you know.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Just so you know.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: So that's what you guys, like, what game are you
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: peasants playing in Australia?
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: But how do they respect?
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Like, well, their.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Friends are on social media. So my oldest son came
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: home a few weeks ago. I was like, mom, my
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: friends have found you on TikTok And I was like
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: are you good?
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Are you are right?
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: And he goes, it's just weird. I was like, yeah,
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: you don't need to get it.
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: That's okay, but it's what I do and you'll be fine.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: And also and then he's like, oh, I don't know,
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: it just makes me feel weird. I'm like, well, I
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: kind of know Kevin Hart.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: He's like, oh, yeah, that's better. Like if I say that,
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: if I drop a name, He's like, it's fine, it's fine.
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: You just have to play.
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: How do you how do you justify you having social
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: media as a profession and them not even being allowed
• 17:50
  Speaker 6: to be on it, like.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: I say, it's work, yeah, which which it is for me.
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: I'm hoping that we have been so full on about
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: it that they have almost kind of missed the time
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: of being.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: Obsessed with it.
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: It's not like a known thing to them, because that's
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: what it is, right, It's just fucking habit picking up
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: your phone. So I'm hoping that that has passed for them.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: But look, they'll they have phones and everything, but they
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: I ask them as well to call me out. Sometimes
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: if I'm on my phone, I'll get them to say, Mom,
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: are you working or no? And I'll be like, oh shit,
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: I'm not. And I'll get rid of my phone because
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: I just go into a vorte or I just line go,
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: yeah I'm working, I'm not.
• 18:29
  Speaker 6: I keep waiting, like I guess this is kind of
• 18:31
  Speaker 6: like similar analogous to the Kardashians, Like I kept waiting
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: for it to end, and it just kept going and going,
• 18:36
  Speaker 6: like I kept waiting for social media for there to
• 18:38
  Speaker 6: be like a backlash on social media, Like no more.
• 18:41
  Speaker 6: Everyone understands how damaging the impact of it is and
• 18:44
  Speaker 6: what we're going to do. I mean what we should
• 18:47
  Speaker 6: do as a society, which is like to take a break.
• 18:49
  Speaker 6: You know, it's like all this misinformation, all this conspiracy
• 18:52
  Speaker 6: theory bullshit. But that would require like an enlightenment, you know,
• 18:58
  Speaker 6: through like a global enlightenment, and we're definitely not there.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: No, I think.
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: I mean I've been here for a week or so now,
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: but I think I saw on line that at home
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: in Australia we're bringing in our pre ministers bringing legislation
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: that kids under sixteen I'm not allowed to have social media.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I don't know another reason they moved to Australia.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: Another yeah, but don't tell everyone to move to Australia. No,
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: There's so many places you can go.
• 19:24
  Speaker 4: So I think they're looking to bring that in again.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: I don't know how you fucking police that.
• 19:27
  Speaker 7: But some of the younger people too are like not
• 19:30
  Speaker 7: using social media nineteen hours a day or nothing.
• 19:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, And I think if you can get past
• 19:36
  Speaker 6: the window of it being so like I have three
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: nieces and they're on social media, but they're not.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Addicted to social media. Yeah yeah, like they don't post.
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: They post once in a while, you know what, I mean,
• 19:46
  Speaker 6: and I like that cadence more.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, they don't post much, this is the thing, and
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: they don't kind of post much.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: The kids.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: I've noticed the young'uns, like the teens, early early twenties
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: kind of that they're not posters. It's like the twenty
• 20:02
  Speaker 4: year olds that post. And so those young ones are
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: watching their stuff. My stepdaughters are twenty five and twenty three,
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: and the twenty three ye old doesn't post. She might
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: post once every six weeks because she went out to
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: a party or something. But they're not active on it,
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: which I don't know if I love, because just being
• 20:19
  Speaker 4: passive on it and watching it and just infiltrating everything
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: you do, I think that can be a bit more
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: dangerous and actively partaking in it.
• 20:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Do you have one of those limits on your phone
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: where you like but ignore? Yeah, ignoring.
• 20:31
  Speaker 6: My friend is like, you can put a limit, and
• 20:33
  Speaker 6: I was like, you can you tell me we could
• 20:34
  Speaker 6: fucking ignore the limit.
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: The limit comes up, it says fifteen minute limit, and
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: then the biggest, brightest blue button under it says ignore.
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: You go ignore. It's just easier.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: How was your tour this summer? After I left you?
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: After I saw you was it.
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: The Yeah, I saw you after my tour I was
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: in I was here May June.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: Fucking great, but you did it fucking great.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Do you love being on tour?
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: I love it?
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: What are you?
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: I'm getting better at it as well because I try
• 21:03
  Speaker 4: so many different ways of doing having kids right and
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: living in Australia, having touring over here.
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: I can't just do weekends.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: I'd love to do Thursday, Friday, Saturday or like you
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: know how you do it, but I can't, and we're
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: not moving over here, so I just have to why
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: is it not an amazing reason to move here? Have
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: I missed something I can help? Terrifying? So yeah, I
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: just kind of come over and bang it out over
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: six weeks when I'm in America. But so when I
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: go home to Australia, I do try and do the Thursday, Friday,
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: Saturdays and come home and I love it.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: I love life performance.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, and it's also nice.
• 21:41
  Speaker 6: And it's also nice that cadence, because you could, you know,
• 21:44
  Speaker 6: you work on the weekends, you come home, you recover
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: one day, it takes a day or two and recover
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: from the travel and whatever you got up to, and
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: then you go back out.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like the perfect schedule.
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I just wish I could do that over here
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: or make the same money I make over here home, right,
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: But you know no, but I love it.
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: Okay, on that we're going to take a break and
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: we'll be right back with Celeste barbera And we're back.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: With Celeste barber.
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: She's our very special guest all the way from the
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: Gold Coast.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Right, that's where you.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: Live, kind of south of the Gold Coast.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I'm still unclear about it.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I like that though. I like people being unclear. That's
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: fine with me. It's fine with me. I saw someone actually.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: When I was home. I was in a shop in
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: Sydney and she was like, what are you doing? No, actually,
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: I was in a shop near where I live.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: She goes, what are you doing here? And I went, oh,
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: I live around the err and she went no, you.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: Don't what She goes, no, you don't you live in
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: la And I went, all right, I'm just visiting.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: I've just come here to visit. Like, sure, let's go
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: with that.
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: That reminds me of this book I read once, Rebecca Solnet.
• 22:50
  Speaker 6: It was called Late in the Dark or Phoning Late
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: in the dark or something. Anyway, it was very profound
• 22:55
  Speaker 6: book about being a woman. But she it starts out
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: with this chapter about and this is different because it's
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: a male and female dynamic, but she wrote she starts
• 23:04
  Speaker 6: out with this chapter talking about how she was at
• 23:06
  Speaker 6: a dinner party and this man came up to her
• 23:08
  Speaker 6: and was telling her about her own book, quoting her book,
• 23:13
  Speaker 6: saying like, you should really read this book. It just
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: came up Mauchur in conversation. She's like, I actually I
• 23:17
  Speaker 6: wrote that book. And he was like, no, you did it.
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: Oh wow.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: She's like, yes, I wrote that book that you're telling me.
• 23:25
  Speaker 6: That the one that you're man explaining to me about
• 23:28
  Speaker 6: I fucking wrote.
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: When you're telling me the plotline about yeah, I wrote that. Also,
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: do you find this one? People will probably not with you,
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: but in the street when they go, oh, hi, I
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: get this.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: A lot of people like why do I know you?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I find that to be the most annoying question.
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: I'm like well, and they go, did you go to
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: so and so school? And I'm like, don't do this, please,
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: it's not how you know. She goes, No, hang on
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: a minute. Now, you're a few years ahead of me.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, this is going how I fucking hoped
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: it to go for you. But then someone goes, no,
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: oh no, that's right. You're working that cafe down the
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: road from me. I was like, yep, I do.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: And I'm just taking the summer off, see ya. People
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: tell you how they know you be like, no, don't
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: do this to it.
• 24:09
  Speaker 6: Last weekend, I was in New York City and I
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: got in the elevator with this couple. As I was
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: walking into my hotel, I could see that she was
• 24:14
  Speaker 6: like ogling me and you know, probably recognize me. So
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: we get in the elevator and and she and her
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: husband are both like staring at me. I'm on my phone,
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: actively pretending to be on my phone, you know, like,
• 24:24
  Speaker 6: please don't interact. I'm not in the mood for this
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: kind of interaction. I can already tell you're gonna be annoying,
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: you know. And she goes, she goes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: We're from Toronto. And that was it, and I went
• 24:38
  Speaker 6: what And she goes, we're from Toronto. How do we
• 24:41
  Speaker 6: know you?
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: If?
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: Like, you have to understand when you say something like that,
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: what am I supposed to do next?
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: East My credits exactly, Well, you.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: May know me from.
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: Me on the Drew.
• 24:54
  Speaker 6: Barrymore Show, and like, are you freaking kidding me? Like
• 24:57
  Speaker 6: it's so stupid, like and she goes, it's just killing
• 25:00
  Speaker 6: I go, it's not killing you.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: You just walked inside from the lobby into.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: The elevator three minutes. Nothing is killing you about the situation.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: You could have easily ignored it and just never figured
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: out who I was.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Well, mate it up.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: But now I'm just like, I'm Chelsea Hammler and that's it.
• 25:15
  Speaker 6: That's all you get, and you figure it out from
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: there if you're not familiar.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: And was She like, no, you Chelse, you are.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: She's like Elizabeth Banks.
• 25:25
  Speaker 6: Okay, we're going to take some callers and questions and
• 25:27
  Speaker 6: we're going to give real life advice.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: This is what we do here.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: So I have the fucking will. Let's go.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, let's get the party started.
• 25:35
  Speaker 7: Well, Heather writes in and she says, Dear Chelsea, I'm
• 25:38
  Speaker 7: an avid listener and a longtime fan, and I can't
• 25:40
  Speaker 7: wait to see you in Vegas. Thinking of going for
• 25:43
  Speaker 7: my future ex husband's birthday. Oh I love it, love
• 25:46
  Speaker 7: that I've been married for almost twenty years, and we
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: have two children adopted from foster care. A few months ago,
• 25:51
  Speaker 7: I was out of town with the kids and he
• 25:53
  Speaker 7: welcomed an online hooker into our home, and when he
• 25:56
  Speaker 7: passed out drunk, she stole my jewelry and makeup. He
• 26:00
  Speaker 7: proceeded to blame the kids for stealing it, lied about
• 26:03
  Speaker 7: it for days until I found the deleted text on
• 26:05
  Speaker 7: his phone. I knew, damn well a woman stole the
• 26:07
  Speaker 7: things because it was so precisely done. I should thank
• 26:10
  Speaker 7: her for the evidence. He wants to quote fix things,
• 26:13
  Speaker 7: but I am not down for that. We've had many
• 26:15
  Speaker 7: prior conversations regarding infidelity and my firm stance of not
• 26:18
  Speaker 7: tolerating it, so needless to say, I am done. Our
• 26:21
  Speaker 7: immediate family and close friends know what's going on. My
• 26:24
  Speaker 7: kids and I are in therapy. So my question is this,
• 26:27
  Speaker 7: how do I tell others, mutual friends, coworkers, my longtime patience,
• 26:32
  Speaker 7: I'm a physical therapist when they say how's the family
• 26:35
  Speaker 7: or how are you? And I'm not sure what to say.
• 26:38
  Speaker 7: The honest answer feels too raw for some people, but
• 26:40
  Speaker 7: acting like nothing is wrong feels ick. Also, what's the
• 26:43
  Speaker 7: middle ground? Thanks for your advice. Heather, Oh I have
• 26:47
  Speaker 7: I know.
• 26:48
  Speaker 6: I know well, first of all, you don't owe anyone
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: no explanation. I understand that I desire to want to
• 26:54
  Speaker 6: be truthful and transparent when you're going through something, because
• 26:56
  Speaker 6: it's like when someone says how are you and you're
• 26:58
  Speaker 6: about to break down and you're like, I'm good. You know,
• 27:00
  Speaker 6: I understand what the desire and you have, and you
• 27:03
  Speaker 6: have every rate to also be transparent to the degree
• 27:05
  Speaker 6: that you're comfortable with. So you can easily just say
• 27:08
  Speaker 6: we're actually gonna separate. You know, we're separating without giving them.
• 27:13
  Speaker 6: Your doctor's not going to be like, what happened. You
• 27:16
  Speaker 6: don't have to say I caught him with an online
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: hooker who stole my jewelry.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Although that's gonna be a good story later down the road.
• 27:21
  Speaker 4: See, I would I would say that that is my advice.
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: I not write into me, but she's really that would
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: be my advice. Heather has taken too much time looking
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: after other people. I think she should say to a gynecologist,
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: I'm happy you ask.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: He's a piece of ship.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: Where in Vegas he gets some hooker, she steals my shit.
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: She he blames the kids that now I'm here, I
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: would just say it outright.
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: That's also an option, also an option. There's really there's
• 27:49
  Speaker 6: really no losing way to deal with this situation.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Don'torry about how the people feel about it.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I wouldn't help people, So I agree.
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: When you're going through some sort of like maelstrom of
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: emotion like that, and you're dealing with breaking the break
• 28:00
  Speaker 6: of your marriage, like the last thing you have to
• 28:02
  Speaker 6: worry about is how other people are viewing you.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Who gives a shit?
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: And like, yeah, take this as a new license in life,
• 28:07
  Speaker 6: like our new Lisa on life, Like you're moving forward
• 28:09
  Speaker 6: and this is your attitude.
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: Fuck off, yeah, fuck off?
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, Heather, there you have it.
• 28:16
  Speaker 7: Well, our next question comes from Amanda, and she's gonna
• 28:19
  Speaker 7: be joining us here, Brad, we have Amanda, right.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: She comes out from the kitchen.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Amanda's welcome, Amanda, Delly, Dear Chelsea.
• 28:28
  Speaker 7: My name is Amanda, and I'm currently in my thirteenth
• 28:31
  Speaker 7: year in public education. While I'm financially stable, i am
• 28:34
  Speaker 7: unequivocally unhappy. In an effort to change up my routine
• 28:37
  Speaker 7: and job role, I've transitioned from classroom teacher to instructional
• 28:41
  Speaker 7: coach and back again a couple of times, but to
• 28:43
  Speaker 7: no avail. Despite the knowledge that I'm doing important work,
• 28:46
  Speaker 7: I've lost my passion. I feel as though I'm at
• 28:48
  Speaker 7: a personal crossroads and need your guidance. Since I was young,
• 28:51
  Speaker 7: I've always wanted to be a writer. I dabbled in
• 28:54
  Speaker 7: music journalism in college and have done some freelance work.
• 28:57
  Speaker 7: Though I haven't been published in quite a while and
• 28:58
  Speaker 7: my writing is basically confined to journaling, I can't shake
• 29:01
  Speaker 7: the feeling that now would be a great time to
• 29:04
  Speaker 7: reignite that passion and challenge myself to completely shift my
• 29:07
  Speaker 7: career trajectory. At almost forty one years old, with a
• 29:10
  Speaker 7: wealth of education and life experience, it seems like there's
• 29:12
  Speaker 7: no time like the present. I can't found them taking
• 29:15
  Speaker 7: a pay cut, especially being a single woman living in
• 29:17
  Speaker 7: San Diego, the alone, walking away from the only constant
• 29:20
  Speaker 7: in my life for the past thirteen years.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: So where do I begin.
• 29:23
  Speaker 7: I'm trying to get back to structured writing time, connect
• 29:26
  Speaker 7: with friends who are already successful in the industry, and
• 29:28
  Speaker 7: even have the opportunity to reconnect with a former writing coach.
• 29:31
  Speaker 7: I guess I'm just hoping for some insight from someone
• 29:33
  Speaker 7: who I admire and respect. How do you hold yourself
• 29:36
  Speaker 7: accountable and practice the self discipline needed to be a
• 29:38
  Speaker 7: success in this field? How do I pursue this avenue
• 29:41
  Speaker 7: that lacks job security? My next steps feel murky, and
• 29:44
  Speaker 7: for the first time in my life, I'm scared to
• 29:46
  Speaker 7: take the leap Amanda.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Hi Abdi Hi.
• 29:50
  Speaker 6: First of all, it sounds like you're doing all of
• 29:51
  Speaker 6: the things that you need to be doing to get
• 29:53
  Speaker 6: the party started.
• 29:55
  Speaker 8: Yes, And since I've written in I've essentially given myself
• 29:59
  Speaker 8: permission to exit this profession. I started to realize how
• 30:03
  Speaker 8: emotionally drained I've been at the end of every workday,
• 30:07
  Speaker 8: left no room to try to focus on this like
• 30:10
  Speaker 8: creative endeavor. So I've been very aggressively looking for new
• 30:15
  Speaker 8: work that will just pay the bills, but let me
• 30:19
  Speaker 8: focus on, you know, my personal hobbies and where I'd
• 30:23
  Speaker 8: like to kind of go professionally.
• 30:25
  Speaker 6: Yeah, like, under the assumption that the writing isn't going
• 30:27
  Speaker 6: to pay dividends right away, right, you need something to
• 30:30
  Speaker 6: like tide you over while you're exploring.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: The writing, right exactly, So do you know what that's
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: going to be or you is that one of your questions.
• 30:38
  Speaker 8: Well, that's just kind of still I've actually been working
• 30:40
  Speaker 8: with a job coach to like update my resume and
• 30:43
  Speaker 8: because for jobs is so different than it was thirteen
• 30:46
  Speaker 8: years ago that I've had to do a lot of
• 30:48
  Speaker 8: kind of work on that end to get the applications
• 30:51
  Speaker 8: out there. So that's what I'm just trying to be
• 30:54
  Speaker 8: really focused on doing so I can get to a
• 30:58
  Speaker 8: better place where I'm not so miserable going to work
• 31:00
  Speaker 8: every day.
• 31:01
  Speaker 6: Absolutely, that's not going to give you any energy to
• 31:04
  Speaker 6: be creative.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: Right exactly.
• 31:06
  Speaker 8: So now it's just kind of like continuing to put
• 31:09
  Speaker 8: that out there and just starting to like build in
• 31:11
  Speaker 8: some structured writing time. I guess like my big questions
• 31:15
  Speaker 8: are kind of like how to hold yourself accountable for
• 31:18
  Speaker 8: something that's like seemingly done in isolation.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Well easily.
• 31:23
  Speaker 6: I mean it's kind of like everything you do in isolation,
• 31:26
  Speaker 6: like whether you meditate, whether you like do your positive affirmations,
• 31:30
  Speaker 6: whether you like I do all of those things. I
• 31:32
  Speaker 6: exercise alone mostly I have a trainer, but that kind
• 31:35
  Speaker 6: of feels like I'm alone anyway because of his personality.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: But I I do.
• 31:41
  Speaker 6: With writing, I'm I don't really I'm not a big
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: person about structure, Like I kind of like let the
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: when I'm feeling motivated or inspired, like you know, when
• 31:52
  Speaker 6: I read something really great that makes me want to
• 31:55
  Speaker 6: write something, you know, so my creative, my creativity, I
• 31:59
  Speaker 6: should say.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: And bursts. It's very unstructured.
• 32:03
  Speaker 6: I have a new book and that took like three
• 32:04
  Speaker 6: years because I started one place, I changed it many times.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: But I think for someone.
• 32:09
  Speaker 6: Who craves structure, and Celeste obviously chime in whenever you
• 32:12
  Speaker 6: feel like because she's a creative too. I didn't even
• 32:14
  Speaker 6: introduce our special guest, Celest Barbera. I'm sorry, but I
• 32:17
  Speaker 6: would just schedule yourself, Like if you sit down for
• 32:20
  Speaker 6: even if it's thirty minutes a day, it sounds like
• 32:22
  Speaker 6: you're going to be wanting to even write more than that.
• 32:23
  Speaker 6: You're going to be wanting to write for an hour,
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: a couple of hours a day once you start doing
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: that daily, like you where you put your phone away,
• 32:31
  Speaker 6: you put your stuff away, and you just sit at
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: your desk or whatever place that gives you the most
• 32:35
  Speaker 6: inspiration in a structured way. Really put yourself in there,
• 32:40
  Speaker 6: set your alarm somewhere, you know, in the house for
• 32:43
  Speaker 6: two hours later and sit there and like the act
• 32:46
  Speaker 6: of creativity begets the act of creativity absolutely once you
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: start writing, like whatever, Like if I have to write
• 32:52
  Speaker 6: a new hour for stand up, you know, whenever I
• 32:54
  Speaker 6: film a special, whenever we film a special, you have
• 32:56
  Speaker 6: to write another new hour of material. Like whenever I
• 32:59
  Speaker 6: have to write new material, I'm like, ughugh, you know,
• 33:01
  Speaker 6: it's like a hurdle.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: It's what am I going to write about? What am
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: I going to talk about?
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: Absolutely, And I'm the same with you my creativity. And
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: like when I wrote my book again, it came in bursts,
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: so you know, it'll be dinner time and I'd be like, oh,
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: so I'd sit at the kitchen bench while my husband
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: did everything, and I'd be like, I've got it.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: It just kind of came.
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: But then for my last hour for my new tour
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: that I'm doing, I did exactly what you're saying.
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: I just set a timer. I literally set a timer.
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: I took the kids to school, set a time for
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: three hours in my office and was like, I'm not
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: moving from here. It doesn't matter kind of what you're writing.
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: But then you find with that structure and being a
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: creative that even after it could be after ten minutes,
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: after an hour and a half, you're like, oh no,
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: there's real flow here.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: You just have to make yourself do it.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 33:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And allotting a certain amount of time is a
• 33:52
  Speaker 6: very good way. It really helps you to just kind
• 33:54
  Speaker 6: of you get in the habit of it, because then
• 33:56
  Speaker 6: before you know it, you're spending more time doing it.
• 33:58
  Speaker 6: I'm always writing in my note section two, like little
• 34:01
  Speaker 6: ideas for things, or this could be a good joke,
• 34:03
  Speaker 6: or this is a good punchline or whatever. You know,
• 34:07
  Speaker 6: those will happen throughout the day, you know, and the
• 34:09
  Speaker 6: more honed in you get on creativity, the more creative
• 34:12
  Speaker 6: you become. So I think everything that you've said you've done.
• 34:16
  Speaker 6: It's like most people haven't done all those things. So
• 34:20
  Speaker 6: you're already like more than halfway there, and I think
• 34:23
  Speaker 6: what follows is going to be just a very natural
• 34:25
  Speaker 6: progression for you.
• 34:27
  Speaker 8: Okay, thank you.
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: Are you already doing that?
• 34:31
  Speaker 8: I am No, I'm in terms of the creative writing,
• 34:35
  Speaker 8: I'm not there yet.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: What do you want to write about right now?
• 34:38
  Speaker 8: I'm kind of looking more like on the novel side,
• 34:41
  Speaker 8: kind of just like leaning from some personal life experience,
• 34:44
  Speaker 8: but writing trying to fictionalize it a little bit more,
• 34:48
  Speaker 8: and I think part of the hesitance with that is
• 34:53
  Speaker 8: sometimes I have to go to like really painful, dark
• 34:57
  Speaker 8: places to get that out. And while I know the
• 35:01
  Speaker 8: end product is catharsis, when it comes to just like
• 35:04
  Speaker 8: getting it out there, I think sometimes when I'm like
• 35:07
  Speaker 8: I have to go there, I kind of like try
• 35:09
  Speaker 8: to keep it out in arm's length and almost avoid well.
• 35:14
  Speaker 6: I would I could speak from experience that you want
• 35:16
  Speaker 6: to get as close to all of that stuff as
• 35:18
  Speaker 6: possible because that's where all of your you know, your
• 35:21
  Speaker 6: your personal stories.
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, you can't lose with that stuff.
• 35:25
  Speaker 6: And while you might think it's going to be scary
• 35:27
  Speaker 6: or something hard to difficult emotions to face, once you
• 35:30
  Speaker 6: face those emotions, you realize how much you overestimated your
• 35:35
  Speaker 6: own security. Now, Like when you're looking back at something
• 35:39
  Speaker 6: you can you can be fearful of it, and then
• 35:41
  Speaker 6: once you face it, you realize you have nothing on me.
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: And it's quite cathartic to write about the pain that
• 35:46
  Speaker 6: we experience in our lives.
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: And I find as well, the thought of writing about it,
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: or the thought of dealing with it in a creative
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: sense is always much more terrifying and daunting than actually
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: doing it in my experience.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: Because it's cathasis.
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: As you say, the idea of sitting down and having
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: to dive into something is too big, and so you
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: avoid it. But once you're in it, it can be
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: very fulfilling. I'd also say, do the easy chapters first,
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: Do the fun, light stuff first, do even just start
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: that structure idea of setting an alarm, and write the
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: nice fun stuff, just to get yourself into that routine
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: and into that discipline before you have to go deep.
• 36:30
  Speaker 8: Absolutely, thank you.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: How would you approach.
• 36:33
  Speaker 8: You know, like, obviously I'm thinking much longer turn, like
• 36:36
  Speaker 8: long run at this point, self publishing, reaching out to publishers.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: What might that process look like? I think that this
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: whole media world is so different.
• 36:46
  Speaker 6: Everything is changing so fast, everything is online, Everything is
• 36:50
  Speaker 6: about striking a chord. It doesn't like these old world publishers, Like, yeah,
• 36:55
  Speaker 6: they can be an advantage in many respects, but also
• 36:58
  Speaker 6: people are self publishing all the time and the most
• 37:00
  Speaker 6: important thing to do is like to get a dialogue
• 37:03
  Speaker 6: going with people. So like to think about social media
• 37:05
  Speaker 6: as a useful way for you to see out your
• 37:07
  Speaker 6: career strategy right to use that, to use these platforms
• 37:11
  Speaker 6: to you know, whether you're writing little snippets every day
• 37:14
  Speaker 6: of like motivational things for people or funny little like
• 37:17
  Speaker 6: snippets of like, you know, a couple of lines of
• 37:19
  Speaker 6: a funny story or an experience that happened to you
• 37:21
  Speaker 6: at the grocery store, something that can relate to other
• 37:24
  Speaker 6: people and get them interested in what you're giving them,
• 37:27
  Speaker 6: you know. And then you're building an audience and you're
• 37:30
  Speaker 6: building like a fan base almost you know, of relayability,
• 37:33
  Speaker 6: so that that kind of gives you more of an
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: avenue if and when you do decide to self publish.
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: But in terms of reaching out for publishers, you just
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: kind of have to knock on doors and try to
• 37:44
  Speaker 6: get yourself a literary agent.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: I don't think that's the only way to do that anymore.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: I agree with social media absolutely.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: There's an audience for everything now, an audience for everything
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: and anything now, and yeah, kind of tasing it out
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: then you get people will follow. So we're like, oh,
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: actually that resonates with me, and they follow along and
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: they want to know more. And yeah, then you build
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: an audience and you don't always have to do it
• 38:07
  Speaker 4: the traditional why anymore of going to a publisher.
• 38:09
  Speaker 6: And you always have to know that there is an
• 38:10
  Speaker 6: audience when you're talking about your point of view about something,
• 38:14
  Speaker 6: There's always an audience, you know, Like, don't underestimate the
• 38:17
  Speaker 6: value of that, because if you're sharing your personal life,
• 38:20
  Speaker 6: there are always going to be other women, whether they're
• 38:22
  Speaker 6: in the same area as you or in the same
• 38:24
  Speaker 6: age group as you. Like somebody I think of as
• 38:27
  Speaker 6: Kaitlyn Murray. Do you know Kitlyn Murray? She talks about
• 38:30
  Speaker 6: just what a pain in the ascid is having children
• 38:32
  Speaker 6: while she still loves her children, and she's developed this
• 38:35
  Speaker 6: huge following which led to a book, which led to
• 38:38
  Speaker 6: she has her own podcast. Now you have to figure out,
• 38:41
  Speaker 6: like what your currency is, right, Big Time Adulting is
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: her Instagram And this woman is really fun and has
• 38:50
  Speaker 6: three children and it's just like, you know what they
• 38:52
  Speaker 6: never told you about parenting. You know what they never
• 38:54
  Speaker 6: said is that when you drop your fucking kids off,
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: you just want to sit in your car and smoke
• 38:57
  Speaker 6: a joy for three hours, you know, like, and how
• 39:01
  Speaker 6: on camptor life is. But she's a great example of
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: finding that niche that is going to register with other
• 39:07
  Speaker 6: people and resonate with other people and then building from there.
• 39:10
  Speaker 6: And if you're talking about writing fiction, you know, maybe
• 39:13
  Speaker 6: there's cute little like stories you can tell about your
• 39:16
  Speaker 6: daily activities or interactions that you've had with people. Just
• 39:19
  Speaker 6: really start to think about, like what kind of messages
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: are you trying to send out? You know, what is
• 39:24
  Speaker 6: your kind of hook to get people? And it might
• 39:28
  Speaker 6: take a while, but you'll be surprised at how easily
• 39:30
  Speaker 6: you can grow something when you're sharing parts of yourself
• 39:34
  Speaker 6: with other people, because everyone kind of wants that, you know,
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: people want to hear other people's stories. They want to
• 39:40
  Speaker 6: hear other people's trials and tribulations.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: And it takes a lot of work. Don't be disheartened
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: by that. Don't think, oh, this is.
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: Really really hard. I probably shouldn't be.
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: It's it's really fucking hard, I think to have self discipline,
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: especially you know, as a woman going you don't have
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: to ask permission to start an Instagram account to stop
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: putting these quotes up like Chelsea sang or to start
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: reaching out. It takes a lot of work.
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: And you can also even have an Instagram post where
• 40:09
  Speaker 6: you're where you post a video saying, Hey, I'm somebody
• 40:12
  Speaker 6: who's recent, you know, newly career free. I'm looking to
• 40:16
  Speaker 6: develop a career in writing. I'm looking to develop a
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: career in fiction writing. If anyone out there wants to
• 40:22
  Speaker 6: join like a group with me, you know, where you
• 40:25
  Speaker 6: can talk to other writers, Like, really put yourself out there,
• 40:28
  Speaker 6: because you'll be surprised at how responsive people will be
• 40:32
  Speaker 6: in your community and how many other people may be
• 40:34
  Speaker 6: like minded or may know somebody who's like, oh, I
• 40:37
  Speaker 6: can hook you up with this person.
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 40:39
  Speaker 8: I love that too, because I feel like having like
• 40:41
  Speaker 8: accountability partners is super important for me. Otherwise I'm like, oh,
• 40:46
  Speaker 8: I got this and then you know, three years later
• 40:48
  Speaker 8: and draft one and still in motion.
• 40:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but definitely sit down and give yourself that a
• 40:53
  Speaker 6: lot of time. Whatever is doable and manageable for you.
• 40:56
  Speaker 6: Make sure you do that every day for at least
• 40:58
  Speaker 6: five days a week for the next month, and I
• 41:00
  Speaker 6: promise you by the end of the month you'll be
• 41:02
  Speaker 6: spending more than you're allotted time doing it.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Perfect And also good for you for quitting a job that's.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Not absolutely amazing.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: Absolutely that's massive.
• 41:10
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's I mean, we don't need to go there,
• 41:13
  Speaker 8: but I'm scared to see what's going to happen in
• 41:14
  Speaker 8: education in the next four years.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: Anyway, So I don't blame you.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: What's happened happened.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: Nothing happens here. She's from Australia, so she doesn't watch
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: the news. She doesn't know what's happened.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: It hasn't been all over the Australian news that what's.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Going on Australia is so too far away to know
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: about America.
• 41:29
  Speaker 7: Wait for you to stay there, all right, Thank you
• 41:33
  Speaker 7: so much, Amanda check in with us.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: Okay, Well, thank you all so much.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: I appreciate your time today.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Bye, Manda, good luck with everything.
• 41:39
  Speaker 8: Thank you.
• 41:40
  Speaker 7: I will also send this to her. But book talk
• 41:42
  Speaker 7: I have heard has been very helpful for a lot
• 41:44
  Speaker 7: of authors. Book okay on TikTok, the books area on TikTok.
• 41:49
  Speaker 7: I get all my recommendations from there. I know a
• 41:51
  Speaker 7: couple authors who are like, this is the way I've
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: gotten myself published novel out there.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: And they post about all kinds of stuff.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: A lot of people self published now.
• 42:00
  Speaker 7: So yeah, yeah, so well. Our next caller is Sarah.
• 42:04
  Speaker 7: She says, Dear Chelsea, my brother proposed to his longtime
• 42:07
  Speaker 7: girlfriend over the summer and asked our parents to help
• 42:10
  Speaker 7: fund the wedding. Pretty normal stuff, but I found out
• 42:12
  Speaker 7: there's some tension about money, the wedding location, other details.
• 42:16
  Speaker 7: Not super fun, but I guess that's typical for a
• 42:18
  Speaker 7: wedding where everyone's a decision maker. A while back, my
• 42:21
  Speaker 7: brother's fiance called to let me know that they've decided
• 42:23
  Speaker 7: to keep the wedding parties small, just two people on
• 42:26
  Speaker 7: each side, and they wanted to make sure I was
• 42:28
  Speaker 7: okay with not being part of the bridal party. Her
• 42:30
  Speaker 7: sister and best friends are the two bridesmaids. I was
• 42:33
  Speaker 7: honestly fine with it, and I wasn't expecting to be included.
• 42:36
  Speaker 7: They even asked me to be the witness when they
• 42:38
  Speaker 7: signed the documents, so I felt I left the call
• 42:40
  Speaker 7: feeling totally okay. Fast forward a couple of weeks and
• 42:44
  Speaker 7: my brother's fiance calls me stressed out. Apparently my dad
• 42:47
  Speaker 7: has been sharing his opinion that it's incredibly hurtful and
• 42:50
  Speaker 7: mean that I'm not in the bridal party.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: He's even told her.
• 42:53
  Speaker 7: That even though I've said I'm fine, I'm just being
• 42:56
  Speaker 7: nice and would never reveal how I really feel. My
• 42:59
  Speaker 7: dad claimed he only shared his thoughts with my brother,
• 43:01
  Speaker 7: but my brother's fiance showed me his texts and they
• 43:04
  Speaker 7: tell a different story. I get where both sides are
• 43:06
  Speaker 7: coming from. Weddings don't look like they did in the eighties,
• 43:09
  Speaker 7: but I don't agree with how my dad is handling it.
• 43:11
  Speaker 7: I've been staying out of it, but we're still a
• 43:13
  Speaker 7: year out from the wedding, and this bridal party drama
• 43:16
  Speaker 7: is creating unnecessary tension around an event that's supposed to
• 43:19
  Speaker 7: be joyful. Should I step in or stay out of it?
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: Sarah?
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: Hi, Sarah?
• 43:24
  Speaker 9: Hello, how's it going?
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: Hi?
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: This is our special guest, the last barber today.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: Hi, Sarah, how are you good?
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: You look sweet?
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: Very sweet.
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: First of all, weddings aren't fun. I'll just say that
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: up front someone who has had one. My wedding was
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: the best. Everyone says that about their wedding. But I
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: think you're right in not being a part of the
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: bridal party. Being a part of the bridal party is an.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Absolute, solute pain in the ass.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: Pain in the ass. It's a nightmare.
• 43:51
  Speaker 4: So I think you've made an excellent decision, especially now
• 43:55
  Speaker 4: that you're still a year out from this wedding and
• 43:58
  Speaker 4: already the bridal party's being picked. This seems like a
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: little bit of a high mind and it's wedding. I
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: think you've done a very good job of staying out
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: of it.
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not her choice to stay out of it.
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: They've kind of just basically decided that she was going
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: to stay.
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: But I'm not having the shits about it not going.
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: But I want, but I want.
• 44:10
  Speaker 4: I think it's very good to be like, right, I
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: can actually wear what I want and get you know,
• 44:14
  Speaker 4: black out drunk and downing and what.
• 44:16
  Speaker 6: How do you actually feel about not being in the
• 44:19
  Speaker 6: wedding party?
• 44:20
  Speaker 9: I mean, I'm honestly pretty indifferent. I don't think I
• 44:22
  Speaker 9: really expected it. It's not like it's not something that
• 44:25
  Speaker 9: I just like I am aware of as it being
• 44:27
  Speaker 9: a tradition, Like I know that, like I have some
• 44:30
  Speaker 9: family who like will do that and like they'll have
• 44:32
  Speaker 9: like a much larger bridal party. But so many people
• 44:35
  Speaker 9: I know are just doing things so differently that my
• 44:37
  Speaker 9: expectations were so low, if non existent.
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: So well, that's very healthy attitude, Like I.
• 44:42
  Speaker 9: Mean, okay, I mean I think if it was like, yeah,
• 44:44
  Speaker 9: I'm going to have eight people and like, this girl
• 44:46
  Speaker 9: I just met yesterday is also part of my bridal party,
• 44:48
  Speaker 9: but I just can't include you. Then i'd be a
• 44:50
  Speaker 9: little concerned. But I'm not her sister or her friend
• 44:55
  Speaker 9: that's you know, known her whole life, so I don't
• 44:57
  Speaker 9: really kind of expect to be in that.
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: Right to minimum.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: So no, I think you're absolutely right on the money.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: I like, I don't.
• 45:03
  Speaker 6: I don't like any drama like regarding stuff like this.
• 45:06
  Speaker 6: It's so stupid, you know, like, let people do what
• 45:08
  Speaker 6: they want to do. But what did your dad write
• 45:10
  Speaker 6: in the text that you saw to her?
• 45:12
  Speaker 9: Oh my god, I don't even I don't even remember,
• 45:14
  Speaker 9: but oh my head, it was it was just very like,
• 45:17
  Speaker 9: you're just being very mean. We really don't like this,
• 45:19
  Speaker 9: we really don't like the way that it's setting the
• 45:22
  Speaker 9: tone for the future. That it was just like a
• 45:24
  Speaker 9: long kind of paragraph. And he was like, you know,
• 45:27
  Speaker 9: very insistent on like, no, I'm just trying to do
• 45:29
  Speaker 9: this with my brother. He's just I'm just trying to
• 45:31
  Speaker 9: communicate with my brother. I'm not trying to like involve
• 45:33
  Speaker 9: anyone else. But I'm like, but you literally said a
• 45:35
  Speaker 9: text to her as a physical why's.
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: That's got opinions.
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's got big feelings.
• 45:43
  Speaker 9: I was just kind of like surprised at the intensity.
• 45:45
  Speaker 9: It's one thing to be like, oh, well, like for me, know,
• 45:47
  Speaker 9: my my you know, nephew's wedding, his wife had my
• 45:51
  Speaker 9: you know, cousin as part of the ronadal party. But
• 45:53
  Speaker 9: like that's maybe one example, maybe just a few examples,
• 45:57
  Speaker 9: and you can't just kind of rely on just a
• 45:59
  Speaker 9: few examples as the norm and so out.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But also your dad just should also chill out.
• 46:03
  Speaker 6: He's already nosy, Nelly, you should And you've talked to
• 46:06
  Speaker 6: your father about this, right.
• 46:08
  Speaker 9: I mean a little bit. I mean like he tried
• 46:10
  Speaker 9: to get you know, I kind of really just try
• 46:11
  Speaker 9: to stay out of it and really just try to
• 46:12
  Speaker 9: kind of like not respond for a while because I
• 46:15
  Speaker 9: was just like, I don't want to deal with this.
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: It sounds like your dad wants to be a bridesmaid.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: That's what it sounds like. It sounds like your dad's
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: past it has on a bridesmaid. Is it is your dad?
• 46:25
  Speaker 4: Just is your dad upset just the fact that you
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: have it been asked to be a bride'smide or is
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: the other things to do with the wedding that he's
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: also not stoked about.
• 46:33
  Speaker 9: I mean, there's probably other things too, so it's probably
• 46:36
  Speaker 9: just layered on top of it, like part of it's
• 46:38
  Speaker 9: a destination wedding, you know, there's a lot of money involved,
• 46:41
  Speaker 9: there's who gets invited, all that stuff, and so there's
• 46:44
  Speaker 9: I'm sure a plethora of other things.
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 46:47
  Speaker 6: A good way to nip it in the bud permanently
• 46:49
  Speaker 6: would be to send them a text, your father and
• 46:51
  Speaker 6: your brother and his fiance a thread and be like, hey, guys,
• 46:55
  Speaker 6: I noticed there's been some dissension about my involvement in
• 46:59
  Speaker 6: the wedding and the wedding party, and I just want
• 47:01
  Speaker 6: you to hear it straight from me. I am completely indifferent,
• 47:05
  Speaker 6: like what you just said to being in your wedding party.
• 47:07
  Speaker 6: There are no issues for me, so I wanted to
• 47:09
  Speaker 6: make that clear you, my future sister in law, my brother,
• 47:13
  Speaker 6: and my father, who are all on this chain, This
• 47:16
  Speaker 6: is not an issue for me, because then what does
• 47:18
  Speaker 6: your father have to say. Then he has to complain
• 47:20
  Speaker 6: about what he's really upset about, which is paying for
• 47:22
  Speaker 6: this destination wedding.
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: Exactly, and then he'll respond by just going Dad, lift
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: the chat.
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a good idea.
• 47:32
  Speaker 9: It hasn't really been brought up lately, but you know,
• 47:34
  Speaker 9: there's many months out. I'm sure he'll get brought up again,
• 47:36
  Speaker 9: and so I feel kind of confident in.
• 47:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah, but I think your attitude is right on the money, Like,
• 47:41
  Speaker 6: don't get involved in wedding drama. Wedding drama is the
• 47:44
  Speaker 6: most annoying drama, especially destination wedding drama.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: And I offer this one day.
• 47:48
  Speaker 6: You know, like I understand weddings are important to people,
• 47:51
  Speaker 6: but it's like, just relax. It's so uncool when people
• 47:54
  Speaker 6: get like they're panties in a twist about it.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: It should be a celebration, not yeah.
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: It's a big party with an open bar, Like just if.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: You're lucky it has an open bar.
• 48:03
  Speaker 6: I had a couple of people that invited me to weddings.
• 48:06
  Speaker 6: It didn't have an open a bar. And because he
• 48:07
  Speaker 6: didn't go to that wedding.
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: You didn't go to that wedding, you didn't bring party.
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: Fa.
• 48:10
  Speaker 6: No, sometimes I bring my own bar if I have to.
• 48:13
  Speaker 6: My cousin had a wedding, he's like, we're just doing
• 48:15
  Speaker 6: beer and wine. I'm like, that will be my gift
• 48:17
  Speaker 6: to you is the bar, because if you're going to
• 48:19
  Speaker 6: have a wedding like that, I won't be there unless
• 48:21
  Speaker 6: there's a bar.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: And you don't want people having beer and wine. Where
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: does that get you?
• 48:24
  Speaker 6: Missy fucking sick of wine anyway, sick of people talking
• 48:27
  Speaker 6: about wine anyway.
• 48:29
  Speaker 7: So do you think she needs to, like specifically talk
• 48:32
  Speaker 7: to her sister in law.
• 48:33
  Speaker 6: I'll be like, no, you're not involved in this, Like
• 48:36
  Speaker 6: if you want to, but I would just send a
• 48:38
  Speaker 6: text to all three of them so that in.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Writing they can't keep talking about it.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: You know this was not sent under duress.
• 48:46
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know where this conversation came from, but
• 48:48
  Speaker 6: I just want everyone to know where I'm coming from
• 48:50
  Speaker 6: so that there's no confusion. I'm totally fine with this.
• 48:53
  Speaker 6: I'm happy you guys are getting married. I can't wait
• 48:55
  Speaker 6: to go to the wedding.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: See you there, dad.
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: I have a die off.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: Needs to thank you, okay, take care, Thank you so much.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: She seemed like such an innocent.
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: She's like, I don't care. I'm so fine with it.
• 49:11
  Speaker 6: It's almost like you know some which she was giving
• 49:12
  Speaker 6: all the reasons like, well, you know, cousins sometimes put
• 49:14
  Speaker 6: there and it's like, who told you that, like.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Only coached a bullet.
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: Being a bridesmaid is a pain in the ass.
• 49:22
  Speaker 7: I know someone who had I think sixteen bridesmaids because
• 49:26
  Speaker 7: she didn't want to leave anybody else.
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: I don't have that many friends. I don't know sixteen people.
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: In my stupids years of being alive, I have not
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: had sixteen friends over that time.
• 49:35
  Speaker 7: That's ridiculous, ridiculous. No, it was crazy, crazy crazy. Okay, well,
• 49:40
  Speaker 7: let's take a quick break and we'll be back to
• 49:42
  Speaker 7: wrap up with a little light one.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're going to take a break.
• 49:49
  Speaker 7: We're back now, we are back, so Caroline writes, and
• 49:53
  Speaker 7: this specifically, I would love for a celest to weigh
• 49:55
  Speaker 7: in on. Of course you Chelsea too, but thank you
• 49:57
  Speaker 7: for this might be the last question. It is the list,
• 50:00
  Speaker 7: Dear celast I've been with my husband for seventeen years,
• 50:03
  Speaker 7: and he's always always had a strong body odor. The
• 50:06
  Speaker 7: last few years, though, it seems that it has gotten stronger.
• 50:09
  Speaker 7: He's given up using standard aluminum based deodorant and only
• 50:12
  Speaker 7: uses natural brands. I've run the gamut trying to help
• 50:16
  Speaker 7: him find a good deodorant that covers his smell, but
• 50:18
  Speaker 7: it just doesn't cut it. He has great hygiene, he
• 50:21
  Speaker 7: showers once to twice daily, but he still stinks. He's
• 50:24
  Speaker 7: also very sensitive and embarrassed about his bio, and I
• 50:27
  Speaker 7: have to try lightly when asking him nicely to change
• 50:29
  Speaker 7: his shirt, put on deodorant.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: Et cetera.
• 50:31
  Speaker 7: I think it may be related to stress or diet,
• 50:34
  Speaker 7: or maybe it's just his genetic makeup. Regardless, it's hard
• 50:37
  Speaker 7: for me to hug him or be intimate without wanting
• 50:39
  Speaker 7: to hold my breath.
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: It's that bad.
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: WHOA please help?
• 50:43
  Speaker 7: How can I get his stinky ass smelling batter caroline?
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: Absolute red flag?
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: If hey, it's natural deodorant, I would My husband went
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: through a phase where he's like, I want to just
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: use natural deodorant. I was like, well, then you can
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: go in find a nice, pretty new wife. Is absolutely
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: not and he doesn't have any bodiod issues. Yeah, delicious,
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: but that is an absolute deal breaker for me. I
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: find it has he I wonder if he's been to
• 51:10
  Speaker 4: the doctor. Is this something where I can get like
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: botox shots?
• 51:15
  Speaker 6: Well not only that, but yeah, botox shots you can
• 51:17
  Speaker 6: get under your arm, FYI to stop sweating. But if
• 51:20
  Speaker 6: he has a natural like a strong odor than like that.
• 51:23
  Speaker 6: It usually does have something to do with your pH
• 51:25
  Speaker 6: balance or your diet. So like he should go to
• 51:28
  Speaker 6: a doctor, and he should be proactive about this because
• 51:30
  Speaker 6: you're his wife and you've been married to him for
• 51:33
  Speaker 6: what seventeen years, So that's like yeah, and I don't
• 51:37
  Speaker 6: care if he's sensitive about it. Like you need to
• 51:39
  Speaker 6: figure out a solution to this problem that you're having
• 51:42
  Speaker 6: to endure because your husband hasn't figured it out yet,
• 51:46
  Speaker 6: and going to a non aluminum based deoderan is not the.
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: He's going to a studio apartment down the street. There's
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: no way. And if he's getting to a point where.
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: You can't hug him because he's it's so gross, he
• 51:58
  Speaker 4: needs to get that out.
• 52:00
  Speaker 6: I can't believe you've endured seventeen years though, of someone
• 52:04
  Speaker 6: with bodyodor. I once stated a guy who had body odor,
• 52:07
  Speaker 6: and I had it wasn't It wasn't body odor. There
• 52:09
  Speaker 6: was like a smell that emanated from him, and it
• 52:12
  Speaker 6: was it was very strong in the morning, and it
• 52:15
  Speaker 6: was like it was almost like his he had a scent.
• 52:18
  Speaker 6: Like sometimes your pheromones don't match, you know what I mean.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: That's a thing absolutely.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 52:22
  Speaker 6: Well it's a little late to find out for her
• 52:24
  Speaker 6: because it's been seventeen years.
• 52:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know if it's a pheromones thing.
• 52:27
  Speaker 6: I mean. Also, get in the clothes, spin and close
• 52:30
  Speaker 6: your nose with it so that you do not have
• 52:32
  Speaker 6: to breathe in his malodorous scent.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: Get one of those necklaces for essential oils.
• 52:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna have to start experiing.
• 52:38
  Speaker 6: But you need to go to a doctor and talk
• 52:40
  Speaker 6: to somebody openly about him.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: I don't care if he's sensitive. He needs to get
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: over that.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: Get it sorted out.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: It's your wife.
• 52:45
  Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, okay, Well on that note, good luck, Okay,
• 52:49
  Speaker 6: good luck.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Problem solved. Celeste.
• 52:51
  Speaker 6: Thank you for being here. You guys, she's a very
• 52:54
  Speaker 6: successful comedian author. You've written a book. Webside of the
• 52:57
  Speaker 6: name of your book.
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: Challenge accepted.
• 52:58
  Speaker 6: Challenge accepted, and you can also please look into her
• 53:02
  Speaker 6: beauty brand spelled b o o i e bouie beauty.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: Is it booe beauty dot com.
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: It's booye dot com boo booeye.
• 53:11
  Speaker 6: Dot com, not to be confused with the other kind
• 53:13
  Speaker 6: of booie booe.
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Celeste, Thanks for having me. I always love
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: to see you.
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: I love to see you. Do Do Do Do Do Do.
• 53:22
  Speaker 6: Drum roll Catherine, please, Chelsea Handler abroad.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: Abroad is my European tour.
• 53:29
  Speaker 6: So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I
• 53:34
  Speaker 6: need to get the help out of this fucking country
• 53:37
  Speaker 6: and it's not as easy as you think. So I'm
• 53:40
  Speaker 6: coming to Rekuvic, I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to
• 53:44
  Speaker 6: the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: In May and June.
• 53:49
  Speaker 6: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
• 53:55
  Speaker 6: New Zurich, Vienna.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: I've never ever.
• 53:58
  Speaker 6: Been to Vienna, for in Barcelona and Lisbon. I'm coming
• 54:04
  Speaker 6: abroad is abroad.
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: That sounds like fun.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna go see you abroad.
• 54:08
  Speaker 9: I w out.
• 54:08
  Speaker 5: I want to go see me abroad and there all
• 54:11
  Speaker 5: be there all be Upcoming Vegas dates March twenty first,
• 54:15
  Speaker 5: April eighteenth, July fifth, August thirtieth, November one.
• 54:19
  Speaker 6: And twenty ninth at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas.
• 54:22
  Speaker 7: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
• 54:25
  Speaker 7: at Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com and be
• 54:28
  Speaker 7: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
• 54:31
  Speaker 7: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
• 54:34
  Speaker 7: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
• 54:37
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