Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S4 E42 - Melania: The Later Years

Transcript

S4 E42 - Melania: The Later Years · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, hey, thanks for singing us in Steve and Jeff Show band.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I'm trying to stretch out a little bit here.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: My back's kind of a little stiff.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: I, you know, I had to come here in a catering crate, you know, right from the airport.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: You know those things that they wheel up the airplanes.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: I had to come here in one of those.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: I think I still have a little pretzel sold on me still.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, how are you doing, Jeff?
0:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm still kind of basking in the glow of last week when we had Susan Schwartz on who was it was a stepmother, I guess.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: And adopted mother.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: Adopted mother.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, I got lots of feedback from people who were really impressed with it.
1:10
SPEAKER_01: Kind of led me to buy the book, you know, that they're making the movie after, and I had a chance to read it.
1:16
SPEAKER_01: The book is even more amazing than some of the stories that she told us, which was was quite amazing.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: I I'd say amazing is the right word.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: We still don't really know if she is, in fact, Melania's adoptive mother.
1:30
SPEAKER_00: And I gotta tell you, some of her stories that she said last week, a little hard to believe, wouldn't you say?
1:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, I think these stories that we're gonna hear now and the one that I just read in in the book is gonna make it even harder to believe her.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: So I'm not sure.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: I do want to know what you found hard to believe, but do I need to call legal before you tell me?
1:52
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think we should absolutely call our attorney if we if we had an attorney.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: He would be somebody we would call.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: So the only professional person I can recall that we are in contact with is that tax guy, uh Harry Brock.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: I mean he seems like a smart guy, right?
2:08
SPEAKER_00: He here, I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna get a piece of paper.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: Legal to-do list, item one, get lawyer.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: That's a good place to start.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: Okay, anyway, but I digress.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I think we're okay, but I but it's probably not a bad idea.
2:22
SPEAKER_01: You know, I shot him a note on a couple things that we're doing, and so you know, I think he was probably gonna get back to me.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: But like I said, this book was crazy and I bet.
2:33
SPEAKER_01: And one particular story I thought was was amazing to me.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: And amazing is the word of the day.
2:39
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: Amazing, yes.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: I think I've used that three or four times already, oh yeah, which is kind of amazing.
2:46
SPEAKER_00: Oh, it'll probably come up again.
2:47
SPEAKER_01: I bet it, I bet it will.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: I hope it I hope it does.
2:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, in the book, Melania talks about a bunch of things, you know, being in the White House and and uh all kinds of stuff.
2:59
SPEAKER_01: And one of the things during the first time the president was president, she was at this party.
3:05
SPEAKER_01: It was at the White House, you know.
3:07
SPEAKER_01: She was getting a little tipsy, she's over by the bar and she was grabbing a drink, and this woman comes up to her.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: She'd have to.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: I mean, he's got to hang around that guy all.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: She'd have to get the book right.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, come on, right?
3:18
SPEAKER_01: But absolutely, go ahead.
3:20
SPEAKER_01: So she's at the bar, and this woman comes up and starts this conversation, and it turns out to be Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
3:28
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
3:29
SPEAKER_01: Which is amazing.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: Amazing she got invited to the party.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, yeah, there's that.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: You know, step one, amazing one, amazing two.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: You know, plus she's liberal and yeah, you know, being invited to that's pretty amazing.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: So you mean to tell me the Melania convinced Ginsburg to stay on the court until it was too late in the king's first term to appoint a new justice, but then the late Mitch McConnell said it wasn't too late after all, like it was with Obama, even though it was actually later than it was with Obama, and that the king could appoint a Federalist Society unitary executive, Jive talking justice.
4:08
SPEAKER_00: That is quite quite amazing.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: I you know, I never thought of Melania as a strategic thinker, or well, as a even as a non-strategic thinker.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: Don't go there quite yet, because I don't think she knew who she was.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
4:21
SPEAKER_01: I feel that's some woman at the bar.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so so it wasn't quite like that.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: Anyways, both of them are kind of getting sloshed, if that's a word.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: And um it's a word in my house.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: I guess it's like a my mom is sloshed, you know, most of the time.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: Right.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: I joined her occasionally, you know, now and then.
4:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure, for sure.
4:40
SPEAKER_01: And so, anyways, so Ruth, you know, she's getting kind of loaded, and she says to Melania, that's a beautiful dress you have on.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: And it's amazing because it kind of leaves nothing to the imagination, which is I think that's the name of Melania's future clothing line.
4:56
SPEAKER_01: Nothing to the imagination.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: I think that was the show she did on Epstein Island was nothing to the imagination.
5:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think but anyway, anyway, go ahead.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: So they keep uh having this conversation and keep drinking, and things get a little looser, and Melania says, starts bitching to her about Donald, about that he can be such a pig and that he grabs women's, you know, privates, and but he wants her to be a perfect wife, and that's really unfair, and sometimes it's really hard to take.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: And Ruth says, Yeah, you know, she's a little tipsy and says, I know exactly what you mean.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: You know, and that and this part's very believable.
5:34
SPEAKER_00: Not only the Ruth Bader-Ginsburg part, little, but yeah, Melania is saying all that.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, no, okay, all right.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: I'm on I'm with that.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, okay, all right.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: So then Melania is like, you know, now she's on a roll.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: So then she says, Well, not only that, but he comes to bed, you know, he touches me with those little tiny hands, you know, he's like moving towards me, and I think he's asleep when he's doing it.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like he doesn't even know what he's doing, and I want to scream, but I, you know, I don't because I don't want security to come in and arrest me, send me to another country or whatever, you know.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: And then at this point, Ruth says, I know exactly what you mean.
6:16
SPEAKER_01: So Melania is looking at Ruth and says, I don't mean to offend you, but I don't think you know exactly what I mean.
6:25
SPEAKER_01: I mean, look at me and look at you.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: The idea of you getting these unwanted attention from men, I'm sorry, I just you know kind of don't believe it.
6:33
SPEAKER_01: And Ruth said, Melania, you look at me now, I'm old, short, a little frumpy, a little under the weather.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: They say I may have something which you know probably isn't serious.
6:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's probably wrong about that.
6:48
SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you, let me tell you, in my day I was a looker, and it was not unusual for men to be pawing me.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: And I I just wanted to tell you, men are just pigs.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: Milania, she's like laughing, and you know, she says, Yeah, and what did you do about it?
7:06
SPEAKER_01: And and Ruth said, Well, this is what I did every time it would happen.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: She said, I know it's a little unlady-like, but when a man made a move on me, I would let loose with this big, loud, smelly fart.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: And that would usually push him away.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: You know, then he would go do something else.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: That would work, it would work for me, I think.
7:25
SPEAKER_01: That could work.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: Melania starts giggling and she's laughing.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: And and and Ruth said, You know, I I know it sounds crazy, but you ought to try it next time and see if it works.
7:34
SPEAKER_01: What do you have to lose?
7:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: So that night, Melania's in bed, and the king gets into bed.
7:42
SPEAKER_01: She thinks he's asleep, but then she felt those tiny little hands, you know, coming across the bed and starting to grab her, and she pushes him away, and and then he gets even closer.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: And his his body, you know, he had just got done eating KFC, and he just was greasy, and he was getting closer and closer.
8:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so finally Melania said, This is the time to do it, and she let out this massive fart, and the sheets fluttered, and the odor filled up the room, and Donald turned around and looked at her and said, Ruth, is that you?
8:22
SPEAKER_00: Nice story, but I have my doubts that it's true.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: You don't think so?
8:28
SPEAKER_00: I you know, so it's just something smells rotten in Denmark.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: And that's and that's not a Greenland reference, but you know.
8:35
SPEAKER_00: Now that unwanted advanced part, that sounds real, that I believe.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, plus I would think in this story that the king would be the one farting, and uh actually doing so much more than just farting, if but I digress.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: You're right about that.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: That insight just makes our interview with Susan Schwartz that much more exciting.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: And you know, Jeff, we talked to her last time about coming back, and well, we invited her back to discuss the you know, the rest of Melania's life, the second part, including her time at the White House.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: So, and and Jeff, she's just the other side of that glass.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: So let's welcome back Susan Schwartz.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: Susan, welcome.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: It's like you never left.
9:16
SPEAKER_05: Of course, I put up a uh cot in the back there.
9:19
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, no, it's it's great.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: You didn't leave.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, that was you.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: I heard somebody.
9:23
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so I just announced that.
9:30
SPEAKER_05: No, but uh it's it's it's great to be back.
9:32
SPEAKER_05: New York, yeah.
9:34
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
9:35
SPEAKER_05: It's great to be back.
9:36
SPEAKER_05: I really enjoyed last week's interview, uh, with all of my co-workers, my family, and uh the old friends from the Long Island School of for the Criminally Insane.
9:44
SPEAKER_05: They just they just loved it, they were amazed by it.
9:48
SPEAKER_05: There we go.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: We get a lot of that, uh, not from that specific school, but uh but you know, we we we don't know I've senior numbers.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it could be.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it could be.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, uh, it makes sense that basically everybody has heard that interview, and that should be good for everyone.
10:06
SPEAKER_01: Should be good for our show, good for you.
10:07
SPEAKER_01: And speaking of people hearing our interviews, I just got a text back from Howard Brock, who is our accountant and the closest thing to an attorney, and he just texted me and he said that he wants me to let everyone know that these this interview and all interviews on the Stephen Jeff show are often, if not always, made up of fake characters.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: He sounds like a lawyer the way he says that.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Wow, yeah.
10:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's covering himself here.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: You don't know what he's doing.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: He just wants to join his brother in the pokey.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's what that's what he's doing.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it sounds like this comes from experience.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, it does.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: His brother's experience, yeah.
10:46
unknown: Right.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: And he says they lack any credibility, speak for yourself whatsoever, much like the tax returns that we prepare for anybody who needs their tax returns done.
10:59
SPEAKER_01: So if anybody's interested and needs that service, they should give them a call at 212-397-28982.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, Jeff, that was a really nice promo for our tax guy.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: But I think that phone number's a little long.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: It's got too many numbers, you know.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: The thing about accounting is being good at math and being good with numbers is overrated.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: But I think he probably would save a lot of people a lot of money.
11:27
SPEAKER_00: Hey, you know, I wonder if that promo you just gave him would be a tax write-off, because he's not going to pay us for it.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: So as time is a commercial, we weren't paid for it.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: If we only had an accountant that didn't have math anxiety, you know, we we'd probably figure this out.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: But but anyway, anyway, back to Susan.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Uh just just a quick recap for our audience, uh, who really should listen to episode one, but you know, let's say they didn't, okay.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: Some not everybody pays attention.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: So quick recap.
11:56
SPEAKER_00: Turns out Susan is Melania's adoptive mom, a middle-aged Jewish woman from Long Island.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: And she wrote a book about raising Melania, and has a movie coming out November 3rd about raising Melania, and they are both titled Raising Melania.
12:12
SPEAKER_00: And in the book, she tells us that Melania was adopted as an infant, and Melania's real name is Marcia, but she changed it so that it sounded more Eastern European.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: See, it turns out she was obsessed with German stories from the big war, or really any war Germany was in or started or was part of, but you know, and also Melania or Marcia actually pretended to be an Austrian princess, accent at all.
12:37
SPEAKER_00: And she was eventually adopted that accent permanently.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Uh Susan also said that Melania first met the king at a sleepaway, I think it was, or or was it a traffic away camp in Palm Beach, Florida, where the king was not only a camp counselor, but co-owner with Uncle Jeffrey, as he was called.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Do I have that right, Susan?
12:58
SPEAKER_05: Yes, yes, you do.
13:00
SPEAKER_05: Uh, but but just to be clear to your audience, and I guess your attorney, yeah, right.
13:06
SPEAKER_05: Use that in the same quotes.
13:08
SPEAKER_05: Uh, Uncle Donald, uh, as the kids called him, was a great counselor.
13:12
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
13:13
SPEAKER_05: He was also he was so responsible.
13:15
SPEAKER_05: He was he wanted to make sure security was number one priority.
13:19
SPEAKER_05: He he would check in on the girls all the time, day, uh, especially uh and several times at night, uh, just to make sure that they were safe, uh, from what I don't know.
13:30
SPEAKER_05: But he was he was always around and always knew where each of them were.
13:34
SPEAKER_01: So well, I'm really glad that you point that out.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: I know there's so much ground to cover, and uh, but I just got done reading your book, and I'm I'm gonna maybe skip around a little bit.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: Maybe we could probably have you on this show every week, which would be great because you you basically have endless stories to tell.
13:53
SPEAKER_01: And you know, Steve, the last person we had that was that interesting was uh her name was Maxwell.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I remember.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, from Palm Beach, too.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: Palm Beach, right?
14:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't know where she is now.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: I think I haven't seen her.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, no, I think she's uh living at a country club somewhere in Texas, plays pickleball every day, I think.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: You know?
14:16
SPEAKER_05: Small world.
14:18
SPEAKER_05: I I think I know uh Jelaine wonderful woman, wonderful.
14:24
SPEAKER_05: She she worked at the camp as well.
14:26
SPEAKER_05: Well, I mean, she was in charge, I guess, if you consider that working.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, assuming anybody was in charge, right?
14:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
14:33
SPEAKER_05: I mean, along along with Miss G at the camp camp entertainment, basically.
14:38
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, uh, as I recall, they put on place, you know, with the girls.
14:41
SPEAKER_05: They they did like um, you know, the usual your gypsy, you know, uh your boogie nights, uh, your risky businesses.
14:51
SPEAKER_05: Uh it was very entertaining.
14:52
SPEAKER_05: I know the king loved it.
14:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'm I'm sure he did.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, I I have to ask about the royal family.
14:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, the royal family is kind of like the Brady Bunch family, you know, kids from different marriages, but he has really won up the Bradies.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: Uh they just had kids from two couples, whereas a royal family is more like a thruple.
15:11
SPEAKER_00: How did Melania get along with her adopted sibs?
15:14
SPEAKER_00: I mean, well, I mean, children who were about the same age as her sibs would be.
15:19
SPEAKER_05: Okay, I think you might be using the word thruple wrong, but we'll just allow that to happen.
15:23
SPEAKER_05: Uh it was great.
15:24
SPEAKER_05: Um as far as Melania and the and the children.
15:27
SPEAKER_05: Uh, she has an excellent relationship with both uh Ivanka and Donald Jr., uh since they're both older than her, essentially.
15:36
SPEAKER_05: She's like she's more like a cousin than like a stepmother.
15:40
SPEAKER_05: Uh but I I guess you you'd have to include Jared as well in the group.
15:44
SPEAKER_05: I mean, they used to they play games all the time.
15:46
SPEAKER_05: Uh uh game night, which was usually Friday nights when everyone was in such a great mood after, you know, after a week of grifting and you know, Trump business stuff, you know, uh making sure fonts fit on things.
16:00
SPEAKER_05: It is crazy.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Well, it takes it out of you.
16:03
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you need to blow off some steam.
16:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
16:06
SPEAKER_05: Exactly, exactly.
16:06
SPEAKER_05: And I know they had some great like monopoly games that would just last for hours.
16:12
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but as I recall, they used Jared's Monopoly game.
16:16
SPEAKER_05: Uh it was the Saudi Arabia version.
16:18
SPEAKER_05: Uh so it was kind of hard for everyone else, but Jared to win.
16:22
SPEAKER_05: You know, it always just seemed like he had more access to the money than the the rest of the kids, even though someone else was the banker, it always seemed like Jared, you know, had extra that he could always dip into.
16:35
SPEAKER_01: Well, he was such a good businessman.
16:37
SPEAKER_01: He was such a good businessman.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: This all makes sense, but I'm sorry, I thought I read somewhere that there were two other kids in the family besides Ivanka and Donald Jr.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: It uh wasn't it Eric and Tiffany?
16:55
SPEAKER_01: Did they play games with you as well?
16:57
SPEAKER_05: Okay, well, this is kind of a sad well.
16:59
SPEAKER_05: They used to invite Eric to game night, but but he could never remember the rules.
17:05
SPEAKER_05: Uh and he'd often, you know, get lost coming over to the White House.
17:09
SPEAKER_05: And you know, he always also he wanted to play the Trump board game, but of course, nobody understood that thing at all.
17:17
SPEAKER_05: When he did show up, he had it in his hand, and just everyone kind of felt sad for him.
17:21
SPEAKER_05: Uh it was autographed by his dad, uh, but it was uh like a he always kind of worried that his dad would sign stuff on it and like say, Don't send this to eBay and don't sell this, you know, that kind of thing.
17:34
SPEAKER_05: But you know, he would and again, that's assuming he even got to the door.
17:38
SPEAKER_05: So, you know, eventually he was you'd find him in the lawns everywhere.
17:43
SPEAKER_05: And then eventually they just stopped inviting him.
17:46
SPEAKER_05: I I have no clue who Tiffany is.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, I you'd been to DC him.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: The White House is really hard to find.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's it's it's not hard.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: It's not in the obvious places.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: But I I gotta ask, did uh did the king ever play game night as well?
18:00
SPEAKER_05: You know, a couple of times.
18:01
SPEAKER_05: Uh he he would get mad when he lost, so they had to kind of act as if he won, no matter the the final count.
18:08
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's like golf tournaments, yeah.
18:10
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
18:11
SPEAKER_05: We're doing golf rules today, yeah.
18:14
SPEAKER_05: Just to make sure he won.
18:16
SPEAKER_05: You know, they they would they would invite their family friend, you know, Mr.
18:20
SPEAKER_05: Hannity, who made sure the king won, and even if he quote unquote didn't, boy, you couldn't convince Hannity otherwise.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Mr.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Hannity is so good at making the king feel like he won.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: And the king is so good at making himself feel like he won as well, even when he didn't.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: But moving on, let's talk a little bit about the movie.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: You know, she's a movie star, you know, she produced and starred, and I don't know if she directed it.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: I think somebody else who some other sexual predator directed it, as I recall, but uh beast accused of that.
18:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it would make sense.
18:54
SPEAKER_01: But, anyways, how did that all come about?
18:57
SPEAKER_05: Well, I mean, and again, you play averages, you'll find a sexual predator.
19:00
SPEAKER_05: Uh, you know, uh, well, as you probably know from my book, Melania had been acting since she was a teenager, okay?
19:08
SPEAKER_05: And as we all know, modeling and acting are a very similar skill set, okay.
19:13
SPEAKER_05: The the main quality is you have to be a great actress and or a high brain, okay, and and uh and a willingness to dress, leaving nothing to the imagination, which Marsha does and Melania does.
19:29
SPEAKER_05: It just doesn't mean that some of our greatest actors were also models before they started acting, you know, Roseanne Barr, Cheryl Hines, uh Lady G.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, and and of course, Jack Black.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: Jack Black was a well-known model before he was funny.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, absolutely.
19:47
SPEAKER_00: Excellent point.
19:48
SPEAKER_00: You you know, though, like the king said, no one had seen the likes of a movie like that and never will again.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people are saying that.
19:57
SPEAKER_00: And I heard it was financed both internationally and domestically.
20:01
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, it was.
20:02
SPEAKER_05: The money came from uh, let's see, uh, Saudi Arabia in uh in a thank you for the nukes gift card.
20:08
SPEAKER_05: Uh Venezuela wrote the Queen a check that uh looked just like a king's handwriting, to be honest.
20:15
SPEAKER_05: And uh finally, uh oh, uh Uncle Jeff, uh Jeff Bezos sent a briefcase full of cash in in small, unsequential bills, actually delivered by Amazon in uh in a drone along with a set of you know Trump steak knives, which that was on closeout, and we kind of just leave those on the countertop.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: Boy, I would have liked to have seen that be dropped from the drone.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: That's just so poetic and so beautiful.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Uh sounds like everybody got their money's worth, yeah, one way or another.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: Now, how involved is Marshall with helping our king make decisions about our country and national policy and foreign policy?
20:58
SPEAKER_05: Not as much as you think, you know, not as much as like the the Queen of England or the Queen of Diamonds, uh, you know, uh, but without a question, she has made our country better.
21:08
SPEAKER_05: I want to remember that.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: That's so cool.
21:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, because a lot of times you have the first ladies and they're like promoting eating well or you know, just saying no to drugs or things like that.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: It's cool that Melania or Marsha played a bigger role in that.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: Can you give us an example on some of the decisions she made?
21:28
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
21:28
SPEAKER_05: Well, um first off, uh exactly, exactly.
21:31
SPEAKER_05: Uh first off, uh, she was working with uh Robert Kennedy Jr.
21:36
SPEAKER_05: to ban the Kennedy Center, uh Red Licorice and the Red M M plane only.
21:42
SPEAKER_05: Uh uh she loves the red peanut ones, you know.
21:45
SPEAKER_05: Uh so so she also supported uh eliminating the blue dye in like bodies of water, you know, like lakes and oceans and pools.
21:53
SPEAKER_05: Everyone knows the natural color of every body of water is an algae like green.
22:00
SPEAKER_05: So she sent an example uh for the world, uh first uh with the first pool, you know, and no blue dye.
22:07
SPEAKER_05: Uh oh, and uh she also recommended bombing Iran.
22:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, those are just such intelligent, well thought out choices.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: I thought I I gotta hand it to her.
22:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure the king appreciated her advice.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: Uh you know, though, speaking of RFK Jr., I heard that uh Marsha had something to do with his anti-vaccination beliefs.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: Is that true?
22:28
SPEAKER_05: Uh well, uh a little.
22:29
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
22:30
SPEAKER_05: Uh Melania just just kind of shared this theory that that she came up with one night while playing uh Twister with the King.
22:37
SPEAKER_05: Uh her theory was that that was fun.
22:40
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
22:41
SPEAKER_05: Uh again, I I do not want the comments, but you know, uh it was it was a thing to behold uh when I heard about it.
22:49
SPEAKER_05: But uh her theory was that that rich people need to be required to get vaccinated.
22:55
SPEAKER_05: So only rich people, because they they're so important to the success of our country.
23:00
SPEAKER_05: Whereas everyone else is probably okay without it, which which will lower the the healthcare costs.
23:06
SPEAKER_05: I mean, it's a win-win.
23:07
SPEAKER_05: It's like herd immunity, exactly.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: Exactly, or her immunity, you her immunity or immunity.
23:15
SPEAKER_05: She heard there was immunity with that herd immunity.
23:20
SPEAKER_05: Wait, look, in the middle of Twister, she was very demure, very tasteful.
23:26
SPEAKER_05: Uh you'd probably have to be, yeah.
23:28
SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think you just proved what a high brain she has.
23:32
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
23:32
SPEAKER_01: You know, we're getting low on time here, but I did want to ask one or two more questions.
23:37
SPEAKER_01: One that I think is on everybody's mind is immigration.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: Does Marcia have strong feelings about people coming from other countries, you know, especially with her love of Eastern Europe?
23:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what her feelings are about how we can be protected from those people and you know, and how they take our jobs.
23:58
SPEAKER_05: Sure, sure, sure.
23:58
SPEAKER_05: Not not at all.
23:59
SPEAKER_05: She is not worried.
24:00
SPEAKER_05: She thinks that they should all come and they can play a big role in making America great again.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's surprising because our king has basically gotten elected based on making immigration the biggest threat to our country, you know, that nobody should be crossing into our borders.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: So how does he feel about her position on that?
24:19
SPEAKER_05: Well, he thinks it's great.
24:22
SPEAKER_05: We should not micromanage who comes in, you know, regardless of if they are at the southernmost tip of Austria to the northernmost part of Germany, you know?
24:32
SPEAKER_05: It's simple.
24:33
SPEAKER_05: You let them all come here, and as far as taking our jobs away, I mean, he knows that the strength of our country lies in its security, and who better to protect real Americans from foreign aggression than Germans and Austrians who are really German.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: They are Germans, but isn't their accents so much better?
24:53
SPEAKER_00: But but I don't I agree.
24:56
SPEAKER_00: What about migrants from you know the rest of Europe?
24:58
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Italy, for example.
25:01
SPEAKER_05: Okay, okay.
25:01
SPEAKER_05: Well, uh there you have to be a little bit careful, okay.
25:05
SPEAKER_05: Have you seen any of the Godfather documentaries?
25:08
SPEAKER_05: See how dark everyone in the mob is, except for the lawyer, who I guess was Jewish, you know.
25:14
SPEAKER_05: Anyways, March has seen all of these movies like 50 times each.
25:19
SPEAKER_05: Okay, not sure if we are prepared for the more dark people.
25:24
SPEAKER_05: Uh she she thinks the Mussolini needs to get his you know house in order uh before we consider letting him across our borders.
25:32
SPEAKER_05: Uh, but they do have great food and the bread is to die for, which they just might.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: Benedetto.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: That's uh that's Italian for well said.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it means my Italian's a little rusty, maybe it means there are only three lousy clams in this linguini, but but maybe I have to ask though, and this is maybe yeah, one of the biggest issues threatening our king's administration.
25:55
SPEAKER_04: Okay, here it comes.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: What about yeah, yeah, you know what's coming.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
25:59
SPEAKER_00: What about the Epstein files?
26:01
SPEAKER_00: Will we ever get to see all of them?
26:03
SPEAKER_00: Why is the king so hesitant to release them?
26:07
SPEAKER_05: Okay, I am I am glad that we finally got to this and you asked this question, okay?
26:12
SPEAKER_05: But unfortunately, I have to catch a flight to Oktoberfest in Munich.
26:17
SPEAKER_05: We are with Barron and a couple of the others uh in a couple of hours, but uh but I will ask Donald as soon as I get back.
26:24
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
26:25
SPEAKER_05: I I mean uh the king will get back to you with an answer.
26:28
SPEAKER_05: Fair.
26:29
SPEAKER_05: I I will say that I personally have no idea where the files are and what even the issue is.
26:36
SPEAKER_05: I mean, have you have you tried asking Uncle Jeffrey?
26:39
SPEAKER_05: I mean, he might know.
26:41
SPEAKER_05: I haven't heard from him uh in a while, but you know.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, we we would ask, but this could be why you haven't heard from him in a while.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: He's he's dead, you know, so conversation might be a tad one-sided, but you know, I I suppose we could ask Mitch McConnell.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh well, yeah, but it sounds like Marsha was very good friends with her uncle Jeffrey.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: Susan, feel free to give us a call when you have a moment to answer the question, or better yet, ask Marcia or Melania, whatever she wants to be called, to come on our show.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: You know, personally, I find her vomit-inducing, but Jeff likes her, so I guess she's always welcome.
27:20
SPEAKER_00: That explains a lot from what I've gotten from Jeff.
27:22
SPEAKER_01: So Yeah, and we're too just to be clear, we're talking about Uncle Jeff, not me.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that Jeff.
27:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh, there's a lot of Jeffs in play.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: Oh you can call you could call me Mr.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: J.
27:35
SPEAKER_01: In fact, she actually had like that.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: She actually had in in tonight's episode, she had Uncle Jeffrey and Uncle Jeff.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: And they were different people.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: They were different people.
27:45
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
27:46
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
27:46
SPEAKER_05: Against I've said it a thousand times, it's a small, small world.
27:51
SPEAKER_01: And an amazing world.
27:52
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, by the way, Mr.
27:54
SPEAKER_05: J is my super uh at the apartment that I'm not paying rent for.
27:58
SPEAKER_05: So I don't feel like I want to call you Mr.
28:01
SPEAKER_05: J.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: Thanks again, Susan, for coming on the show.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: And uh Stephen Jeff Show band, sing us on and out of here.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: Bye, Susan.
28:12
SPEAKER_03: This has been a money flows of production in association with the still computer ID media.
28:20
SPEAKER_02: Read all about our hosts at Stephen Jeff.com Stays Laden, Face Ladies, Lady Channel, Days and Stacey Channel, Daisy, and the same.