Latest / Jess Ask / Prioritizing Self: Redefining Success to Avoid Burnout | EP33

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Prioritizing Self: Redefining Success to Avoid Burnout | EP33 · Jess Ask

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Hey, it's your girl, Jess. You've just entered a safe space for
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Kingdom entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed
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it a safe place to just ask. Before we get into it, be
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sure to subscribe and download the podcast, follow me on all platforms at the
0:27
Jessica S. Smith and invital friend Also make sure you DM me your feedback
0:35
and questions so we can keep the conversation going. Now, let's get into
0:41
this week's episode. Oh, good morning, good evening, good afternoon,
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whichever one you're watching it there, it's your girl, just guess Smith.
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I am super excited to be here today. They almost called you just daniel
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It's because your name is desertrated as well. Danielle, Danielle, Desire,
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Desireate, dan Yelle, whichever one you just been to call her desire.
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Yeah. I was having a conversation with somebody the other day because they came
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in and it was one of my clients and she called me Dan Yelle and
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she's like, oh, I'm so sorry, I said, I mean it's
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my name. Yeah, you know, and actually my dad's side, they've
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always they only call me Dan Yelle. That mean that people tapping in on
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you know, something something different with you. It was like they look close.
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They look close because you know, but before we get into it,
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because we would just start talking. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, you guys
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to another week of Just As the podcast where we create a safe space for
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Kingdom entrepreneurs and creators to decompress, have fun, and just just as listen
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you guys. I don't know about y'all, But y'all, I don't know.
1:53
This end of the year hits me different or the same. I won't
1:56
say the different, but I feel somewhat of a I won't call it a
2:05
heaviness, but uh, it's some I don't know. I don't have a
2:10
word for. I don't have language for yet. But like last year,
2:14
this season, I was experiencing some some I won't say struggles, but some
2:22
some testing and some obstacles. That's the word. I'm looking for, some
2:28
obstacles. And then leaving this year, I'm going I feel like I am
2:34
experiencing some not even the same obstacles, but the fact that I'm experiencing those
2:39
obstacles, it's just like, Okay, how am I managing this thing?
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Because babe, this people say the holidays are tough, just the end of
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the year, it's like a challenge. And so how have you been how
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have you been a new through the last days that we have in twenty twenty
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three. I think, and I was just talking to somebody about this.
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I think I am. I've been more aware this year of God in my
3:13
life, and I've also been aware of seasons and the process that He has
3:23
me on. Now I don't necessarily have all the language for or even to
3:27
understand why the process has been the process I don't have. I can't see
3:30
past where I am. You know, technically you know what I'm saying,
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but it's kind of the same. You know, you feel like like something's
3:40
different, something shaken and something moving. But it was just it's just confirmation
3:46
that you know, as you go higher, like you just it's not just
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gonna come like, oh, here you go. You know, it's gonna
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come with some testing and some trials, because what he's doing is he's making
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sure that your character it's going to allow you to stay where he's taking you.
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So that's what the pressing comes comes in at. I think also what
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you just said, it's important to not even just like the character piece.
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But a part of the character piece is because we could be good, you
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know what I'm saying, Like sometimes we can just like kind of center around
4:23
like oh, you're a liar or you are a thief or whatever, those
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type of characteristic issues. But what about those moments where it's just like almost
4:33
like a refinement like what we were talking about earlier, like learning how to
4:40
have personal processes? Like we have processes, processes or SOPs for our businesses,
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especially if you're an entrepreneur. We have those type of processes. We
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have processes for even churches and even how we manage our relationships, but we
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don't have personal process We don't. I know, I don't have a personal
5:02
process. Like the woman the God asked me earlier, she was like,
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what's your process just for yourself? I'm like, what do you mean?
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What are you talking about? Like how I get stuff done? I put
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her on a calendar. That's my process. But then on the flip side,
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how do I manage my personal process? Hasn't included me. It's included
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the task. This is so good. It's included the task and what was
5:32
needed to be done, but it hasn't necessarily included Jessica. Yeah, like,
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and I think that's something that I am looking forward to. No,
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I'm going to make myself and I'm going to have people hold me accountable.
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Yep, shut up. To make me put me on my calendar, you
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have to, I literally, so, you know, prior to this year.
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Sorry, thank you, prior to this year. So she had to
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remind me of yeah, you know, you know. I tried to subtlely,
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I but she got it the first time. Prior to this year,
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I was working full time in my salon and I would work like, you
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know, twelve ten and we be making that sound so glamorous and I'm not
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a girl. Maybe that is not thank you for saying this, because it
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is not. It would work like ten to twelve, sometimes fifteen hours a
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day and just be working like I ain't ate nothing. I ain't eate nothing.
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So as I started to transition out of the salon, I was like,
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I ain't gonna miss no appointment on the book, right, I said,
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I'm gonna have to put my own self on my calendar as a lunch.
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So I created an appointment in my appointment calendar that says lunch, and
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I made myself the appointment in the book on whatever days I was working in
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the salon to take this lunch because I'm I'm gonna keep an appointment on that
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on that on that work schedule. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like,
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but why why you gotta do all of that just to take to remind yourself.
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So no, but that's that's good, And I'm so glad that you
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used the word that that we try to make those long hour days look so
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like we we try to make not eating little grammars. We try to make
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it like, oh, yeah, I'm a real hustle because I don't sleep.
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I know there are some times that we will, and I have no
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problem. Like it's not that it's not it's unrealistic, but it's really unhealthy
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for us to say that without having a expectation of you know, you can
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experience real burnout, right Like I have. I have days where I'm like,
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I have a couple of hours of sleep and then I go to the
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next thing, like I've had those days. But I probably had too many
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days, if I'm being honest, I probably had too many days to where
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it's like late night, early mornings, late night, early morning, and
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I'm starting to feel it, yeah, because our bodies aren't naturally designed for
8:13
that. Our bodies are not naturally designed for that. But we get so
8:20
caught up and I can and I can admit. For me, it was
8:24
what I saw saw my mama, you know, wake up in the morning,
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she dropped me off around the corner to go to school. Then she
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went to work. She worked her nine to five job, and then she
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came home. She fixed dinner, then she went into her sewing room.
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She had a room my mom souls, so that was a size hustle,
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and so she went in there and she worked till you know, eight,
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nine, ten o'clock, sometimes eleven, twelve, one two, depending on
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what was going on. And then she would go to sleep for a couple
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hours and she would get back up and do it again. And so that's
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what I saw. So that's for me, that was normal. So that
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became my normal as I'm like, well, let me, I gotta pay
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these bills X y and z x y Z. But it led to burnout
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and I'm so I'm and I'm still navigating that though that water as I'm not
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so much in my salon anymore, but as I'm taking on more creative projects,
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and it's just me. So it's easy to be like, oh,
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well, you know, I'll just yeah, I'll just pull up the computer
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and you know, do X, Y and Z. But I'm really intentionally
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trying to like shut it down at a certain time just so my body can
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rest. Yeah. Like the body is so like I get fascinated at how
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complex the body is because it's it literally has everything it needs as long as
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we make the environment conduce it for it. Like sleep, we have to
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sleep because that's where our body replenishes and it rejuvenates itself when it's sleep.
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But if we ain't sleeping, you know, our immune it causes our immune
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system to go down. You know, we get fogginess, you know,
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and even like my feet, my physically, like you start having physical ailments
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when you're not allowing that time and that space to rest right right. And
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so we can keep using this, uh, this burnout word, and I
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don't want to make make get to where we assume that everybody that's listening has
10:07
heard this word. But I just looked it up and it's a word that
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typically mental health professionals use. And because our generation is so eloquent and speaking
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and fluent and speaking about, you know, mental health issues. Shout out
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to our generation. Man, the biggest thing, let me stay, let
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me make this little plug. The biggest thing I see us do incorrectly with
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using the mental health just speaking on mental health. Some of us have so
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much knowledge, but we don't use it right. And I'm one that has
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been guilty of that as far as just like talking to somebody, looking for
10:54
a therapist, speaking to somebody and just kind of like having that safe space.
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It's one of the reasons why I've just really loved just as not because
11:03
it's something that the Lord gave us or me, but just because there's a
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lot of safety here that we end up like healing through this podcast. Like
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I'll go back and listen to some of the stuff I said. I was
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like, Man, God, I need thank you for reminding me of your
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word that you allowed me to say. You know what I'm saying. But
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that's a whole other thing. But I think that we just have to make
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sure as much as we're googling research and all that stuff like that, that
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we really have to act on, act on what we're learning and what we're
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envisioning. So burnout, burnout one of the definitions or simply practical definitions on
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it is burnout is a state of complete mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion.
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So it says, if you are experiencing burnout, you may notice it
11:56
is difficult to engage in activities you normally I'm meaningful. You may no longer
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care about the things that are important to you, or experience an increasing sense
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of hopelessness. This is so good. The last line says you may not.
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You may no longer care about the things that are important to you,
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or experience an increasing sense of hopelessness. And so basically burnout based on your
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the level the things that are important to you. Burnout will look differently for
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different people. Right, So, if you like, if you like walking
12:35
your dog, let's just call it, call it something simple. If you
12:39
like walking your dog and all of a sudden you just feel like you just
12:43
can't. It's the hardest thing you can do. You could be experiencing two
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things from my experience personal. This is personal experience. It's not an educated
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experience. This is personal experience. You could be experiencing either burnout or you
12:58
are on the verge or already depression. I I you know, I moved
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to Pensacola. Lived to Pentacola for like eighteen months, and that was probably
13:07
the hardest eighteen months I experienced. I had no family, no one around
13:13
me. I had just you know, it had some very high points in
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my life. Right before I left, I was in a relationship, you
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know what I'm saying. I thought this man was gonna be my husband.
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It was just a lot of good things that was going on for me before
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I moved, and I felt like I went from oh, this is great.
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You know. I had some struggles here and there, but I had
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a pretty decent life while I was here. And then I go to Pensacola
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and I'm all alone by myself and I had I couldn't understand why I couldn't.
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I didn't feel like doing anything, Like I could not understand why I
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did not feel like doing anything. I just wanted to stay in bed.
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I just wanted to you know. It was hard for me to take bath.
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It was just it was everything just everything hurt to do. Like it
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was. I don't know how to explain it, but everything hurt to do.
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And I think I explained this a little bit when a more was here.
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But that's how a more came like I more literally was a gift from
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God, Like, oh, listen, I promise you. But I'm learning
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that everything doesn't It's not that extreme of depression, right, so you can
14:28
catch it. I think that while we're talking, burnout can lead to depression,
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right, because because you're not feeling like doing it, and then you're
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not doing it, You're like, man, I'm not doing this. I'm
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not moving in I'm not moving in the direction I want to go into.
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Now I'm depressed, and now now I feel worthless. Now now my hope
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is deferred, right, and so that hope work comes up. I think
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about I can't help but to think about faith because faith is the substance of
14:56
things hopeful and the evidence of things all right. And so without hope,
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this is so good, Thank you Holy Spirit. Without hope, I cannot
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increase or have my faith. If I don't have faith, then I don't
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get to see the unseen. If I don't see the unseen, then I
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am not connected to things above. If I'm not connected to things above,
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then I lower my standards. Then I lower my vision. Then I lowered
15:24
my understandings. And now I've met the enemy where he wants me. So
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this is why knowing, knowing and putting yourself on your calendar. I'm talking,
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yah, I'm talking to me while I'm talking to y'all. Putting yourself
15:39
on your calendar, making yourself a priority, having those moments where you have
15:43
those decompressed moments, not burning yourself out and saying, oh, you know,
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I'm not sleeping because I got a million things to do. Well,
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we need to mind. We might need to time manage that thing better.
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I have days to where like I know my days where I have this ministry
15:58
that I'm working on, and then I know that. But my problem,
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my problem is that I haven't fit myself in my calendar, like and and
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the gag is I'm about to talk to Jessica. Just ask is not including
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yourself in a calendar? Just ask is doesn't that doesn't count as including yourself
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in the calendar. When I mean like including yourself, I mean make it
16:26
a priority to say, Okay, I'm going to decompress. I'm gonna give
16:30
myself room to empty myself out of everything that I've been done, whether it's
16:36
the week or the month or the quarter, whatever that side. I'm just
16:38
gonna allow my brain to relax, and I don't know how to do that.
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Like people, I get fussed at multiple times. People are probably gonna
16:47
amen this so much, your amen over there silently, and I appreciate you
16:51
being silent about your amen. I'm gonna lie you. I'm gonna You're gonna
16:57
get to say something a minute, okay, because I see you kind of
17:02
like boiling over there. But I'm learning that I do not do that.
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And the bad part about it, or the interesting part about this, is
17:11
that I even learned it on a on the opposite end of trying to be
17:19
the reactive in versus the proactive end. That's what I'm trying to say.
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I've learned it on the reactive end versus the proactive in. The proactive in
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would have been like, Okay, I'm scheduling myself all right, because I
17:30
don't want to get to the point of burnout. I want to you know,
17:33
relax or whatever and be my best self. The reactive in is I've
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made some poor decisions in the past I will say three months. In the
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past three months, I've made some poor decisions that I'm like, I don't
17:48
even really have an explanation for why I made those decisions, but I made
17:52
them. I made them, and it's because I did not give my my
17:57
brain room them to breathe. As a creative, that's hard because my brain
18:03
is always I literally wake up thinking like, oh my gosh, this idea
18:07
is good. And when I call you up, like girl, I just
18:10
did like it. It's not one phone call that we're on the phone.
18:14
You might be talking about something so like she might be something so basic,
18:19
or even something about herself, and we'll get to talking and I have an
18:23
idea in the middle of our conversation and I'll say, ooh, desert ray
18:27
and she was like, oh, okay. And I know it's probably saying
18:32
I'm thinking, thank you for not defriending me, okay, because those are
18:37
I am so random. People are like, You're just so random. You
18:40
ask so many questions. My brain will will not shut down, like it
18:44
just keeps going and going and going. And so for people like us that
18:48
are creatives and entrepreneurs, that ideas are just full of big ideas and you
18:55
hear something, you're like, oh there, it is like that's my gift.
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But I have to give my gift for risk too, so I can
19:00
get fuel up again and even have greater ideas. You get what I'm saying,
19:06
Go ahead, woman, the guy. I mean, I think it's
19:07
interesting because I think that's why you struggle with understanding why I think it's I'm
19:15
gonna get together again, y'all. It's so funny. I know the people
19:26
that's listening on on just the audio shout out to y'all man, y'all just
19:30
riding in your car, riding around and getting it and just listening to me
19:34
and this. We appreciate you. But the folks on YouTube really get a
19:40
show because there's a ray is still like this switchboard. The gag is you
19:47
are looking and it's still not on you. The gag is I'm still getting
19:55
used to this camera thing, not using the camera, but half in my
19:57
face being seen on the camera. So I kind of low key. I
20:00
won't be doing it on purpose, but I just you know, when you
20:03
get so used to a thing, listen, you know the transition of the
20:07
you know it's uncomfortable, but you know, take a little bit of minute.
20:10
But I was just saying, I think that's why you kind of struggled
20:14
with understanding why the Lord would have you to sit with him and do your
20:18
nails. Yeah, yeah, because you was like, that don't even make
20:22
sense because that's just nothing that you've naturally done before. And I think it's
20:27
just a prelude into him just introducing you into something different that you need to
20:34
do it more intentionally. That's so, that's so good because that kind of
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leads me into another curiosity I have, And y'all make sure y'all comment on
20:45
this. I want to know. I want to know do you do words
20:48
for the year, like when like at the end of the year, have
20:52
you ever seen sought the Lord on a word or a direction for the new
20:56
year and what he's saying. I haven't. I can't say that I've intentionally
21:03
like made space to sit and seek them. It's just kind of what drops
21:07
in my spirit. And I feel like it's gonna be the same word for
21:12
me from last year, which is this year. I mean from this year.
21:18
I was already in the new year, so which was obedience. Obedience?
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Okay, but it's a it's a like we said, with new levels,
21:26
yeah, comes higher testings, higher processes, and you would you still
21:32
be obedient. That's good, that's good. So I think all of this
21:37
is connected because you say, how do you experience burnout? How do you
21:42
know your experience and burnout? And my Injustica's definition, you can experience burnout
21:48
mentally, physically, emotionally, but also spiritually and financially. Yeah, all
21:55
right, how do I know? Just guess we talked experience, we listen.
22:03
I don't know what to talk. I don't The thing is, I
22:07
don't define myself eloquent enough to tell you what somebody else said. I can
22:11
only tell you what I have experienced. So I have experienced all types of
22:21
burnout, some more recent than others. And so even thinking about that attached
22:30
to I have received a word for twenty twenty four, and I thought it
22:36
was going to be similar to a word I received in twenty twenty. First,
22:41
let me start before I present mine. Let me start with urging you
22:45
that if you've never done this before, you should do it. I was
22:48
introduced to this idea by my dear friend's sister. I almost called her doctor
22:55
breuncle hardy, Oh my good breathe doctor, doctor, doctor listen. Okay,
23:04
I'm not gonna go into that. But my friend Briancahrty, she's been
23:07
on the show several times before, and I can't wait to have her own
23:12
again. But I was introduced to this idea by her, and she would
23:18
say that, you know, I love her friendship because she'd be like,
23:22
I expect you to have this word every year, and I was so proud
23:26
of myself I was able to beat her to asking me this year, and
23:30
so I went ahead and shared it not only with her, but several of
23:33
my friends that I know that will hold me accountable and remind me of the
23:37
word because they've already done it before when I had when I had certain words
23:41
for this year or even last year twenty twenty, it was like, but
23:45
what does this? Does this match up with what God has said? And
23:48
you need that? And so if you don't know what the word is for
23:52
yourself, no one's gonna give you that word like it's something that you and
23:56
God talk about. And so the process is it's just giving got room or
24:00
just ask him. Like I've gotten to the point where it desert word.
24:03
It's like, Hey, I'm just expecting a word from God, like I
24:04
know that He's gonna tell me, and it's gonna be very clear with mine.
24:08
I hear and he the Lord say, you know, when something keeps
24:11
repeating itself and it won't leave me alone. And I'm like, this was
24:15
a week of this thing is repeating itself. And until I said, okay,
24:21
God, why are you telling me this, he couldn't reveal to me
24:23
that, oh, this is what your focus is on for the next year,
24:26
the new year. And so my word for the new year is now
24:33
unto him who is able now for my Bible, my Bible speaking scholars,
24:40
we already know that is the first portion of Ephesians three and twenty, where
24:45
it says now it's unto him who is able to do exceedingly a bundle above
24:48
all that we can ask or think. Right, that was my word for
24:55
twenty twenty. I turned thirty and twenty twenty, I I had just came
25:00
out for I, you know, just become a homeowner. In twenty twenty,
25:04
I became a not a homeowner, but I God, Lee, a
25:12
lot of stuff happened in twenty twenty. I was able to donate that ten
25:15
thousand dollars that y'all know about to the Love Lady Center to twenty twenty,
25:18
Like I elevated in ministry in twenty twenty. So it's been a lot of
25:26
things that has happened since I first heard that word. Not twenty I'm saying
25:33
twenty twenty. It was twenty twenty two, cause I was definitely twenty eight
25:37
and twenty twenty. Yes that was last year, cause I'm thirty one now.
25:41
Yeah, so that was actually twenty twenty twenty two. I had a
25:45
different word this year. Can I think about it right now? No?
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But I had a different word this year. But God has taken me back
25:52
to the word of twenty twenty two, and that's when I did become you
25:56
know, get I got promoted at my job. That was my last promotion
25:59
to my job, all the good stuff. And so now God has brought
26:03
me to a place where it's He's saying, now, unto him, who
26:07
is able? And what does that mean? We're talking about burnout? Right,
26:14
And I said that one of the ways that we can experience burnout is
26:18
spiritually. Jessica, we can talk about Jessica. It might be a few
26:22
Justica's listening and watching right now. Jessica has experienced life as Jessica has to
26:30
fix it or it won't be done. Jessica has to do it or it
26:33
won't be done. Or if it's done, it's not gonna be done right,
26:37
or I have to say yes, because if I don't say yes,
26:44
I'll be alone. Like so, just peeling back the onion, as Bishop
26:48
Moody talks about peeling back that onion, is just kind of like really really
26:56
being honest with yourself. I think that's where I am right now. I'm
27:00
a place of not just being honest, but being transparent with me because I've
27:06
learned that people expect something out of me that I can't get. I don't
27:08
even give to myself. Like you're expecting me to be vulnerable, You're expecting
27:14
me to be forthcoming, You're expecting me, you're expecting me to do all
27:18
these things, and I don't even make room enough to do that for myself,
27:22
for yourself, right, And so God is really putting me in a
27:23
place where because I don't say because I'm experiencing burnout, but He's shown me,
27:30
hey, your abilities are not my abilities. It's a scripture that says
27:33
for your ways are not my ways, and your thoughts are not my thoughts.
27:37
Until I actually act that out, I'm gonna be burnt out. I'm
27:41
gonna be burnt out. And what I do, what I don't have full
27:45
in my cup spiritually, Yeah, that will transfer over to all the other
27:51
burnouts, and now we have a wildfire. We have a wildfire because I
27:57
don't know how to say now unto him who is able. It's the now,
28:04
like I have to consistently be in his ability, unto him, unto
28:08
him. It's not by it's not by my ability. So if I'm sensing
28:12
something, I'm dealing with something whatever, even like regarding my finances, relationships,
28:17
all that stuff like that, Am I gonna believe in my ability?
28:21
Or I'm gonna say now unto him who is able, So that's gonna I'm
28:26
looking forward to. I'm now. I don't know if i'm I'm a little
28:30
nervous because it sounds. Listen, sometimes we can be so holy rollering the
28:38
ish and stuff and make things sound like as though they're not. I'm not
28:42
excited about trusting God in this. I'm not because it's different from me.
28:48
I'm more excited about getting a relief, Like I don't know how else to
28:55
say. That might be wrong, but it's real. I don't know how
28:59
else to say it. I'm more excited about getting with leave. Okay,
29:02
God, if this is what you're gonna do. If this gonna work,
29:04
then let it work. But then I have to learn and say, Okay,
29:07
if this is gonna work, God, I just have to continuously put
29:11
myself in a position where I trust the now unto him who is able,
29:15
right, I gotta put myself. I gotta learn. And this is what
29:18
he's doing. He's putting. He has put me in places and put me
29:21
in positions to where I have to fully trust him because I have learned,
29:26
ooh, ooh, y'all, I've learned how to manipulate the system. I've
29:33
learned. I've done things so well that where I can do it burnt out
29:37
and God is saying no, like, no, it's not working anymore.
29:42
This ain't working no more. This you you doing, you're you doing and
29:48
not reflecting and not decompressing and not meditating as much as I'm asking you to
29:53
die. But I have some baby, when I strongly meditate, i'd be
29:56
in there like I can go hours like that. That's the thing. I'm
30:00
like, Oh God, I should have been doing this. I could have
30:03
been doing this. Girl, Calm down, because if you're doing it consistently,
30:10
you won't have to overly hydrate on those on those words. You don't
30:17
have to have those a million, three hour sessions. You can have a
30:19
thirty minute sais here with the Lord. Twenty minute sessions, yeah, five
30:23
minutes. Like everybody's sessions are different and everything, everything, time management wise,
30:30
is different with based on your relationship with God. I think that's probably
30:33
the most freeing thing I can even say for myself, because I'm like,
30:34
oh, I'm supposed to be I'm supposed to be shot bye bye bye Byen
30:38
at six o'clock every morning. If that's what Lord told you to do,
30:41
cool, But if that's not the way the Lord told you to do.
30:44
Cool, Like I'm gonna say that again. If that's what the Lord told
30:48
you to do, cool, but if that's not what the Lord told you
30:49
to do, cool, Like we it's that comp that comparison thing, like
30:56
I am less than because I don't do this like this other Christian or this
31:02
other believer or X, Y and Z. Like the boundaries are the same
31:06
biblically, you know, with the scriptures, but the flexibility of God's creativity
31:11
within us is different, and how he operates in our relationship it is different.
31:17
As a part, it's a part of it. Yeah, it's so
31:18
good because the thank you it kind of ties in. So I got the
31:26
word obedience. But with that came the scripture, and so he's just been
31:33
kind of, you know, unfolding what that kind of looks like. And
31:37
so the scripture that I had got was Palm's ninety one Psalm's ninety one,
31:44
verse one and two. And so this is the the n l T ME
31:49
translation the nl T. But Salm's ninety one says, those who live in
31:55
the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
32:01
This I declare about the Lord. He alone is my refuge, my
32:07
place of safety. He is my God, and I trust him, right,
32:12
So I'm like, okay, Lord, And from there I just it's
32:15
like I kept what kept coming from that is relationship. Like it said,
32:22
if you dwell, that means that you live in a place that right,
32:27
So in that place that you're dwelling in is that secret place, and in
32:30
that secret place is where we find rest and relationship. So as you know,
32:37
this year, the word was obedience, because prior to this year,
32:43
I kept hearing the Lord say, make room for me, make space for
32:46
me, and I'm just like, what that means until I decided to make
32:52
space and room for him. And once I started to actually have relationship with
32:57
the Lord, he began to take me on a price. Says to heal
33:01
my heart. Two. Not only heal my heart, but get some stuff
33:06
out of my of my heart that can't go with me in this next season
33:12
that I'm going into. And he also he gave me a so as as
33:17
Jessica was talking about a more, I got a Bibo last year. Bebo
33:22
was a dog. Bibo is a pit mix and I didn't understand why because
33:30
I hadn't want one and I definitely didn't want to pick. But I could
33:34
understand why I got a Bibo. People ask me what it is. I'm
33:37
like, he's a Bebo. He's a different he's a different type of I
33:43
don't know. I ain't ever had a pip for I don't know. But
33:45
he was different from me. But I didn't understand. Literally up until yesterday.
33:50
I was don't shoot, who cutn't onions? I was about to think,
33:58
what is going on? Is cut out? Who cut? And onions?
34:00
I didn't understand until yesterday his purpose for my life until I until I
34:08
released him into his next season as I'm getting ready to walk into wine,
34:12
right, and it was so crazy. I was just thinking about this,
34:15
like, and I know, I only recognize this because I've been doing relationship
34:20
with God that's so good. And it could be the smallest, the smallest
34:23
thing that he knew I was gonna walk through the toughest season that I've ever
34:27
been through. I am single, I live by myself, and I could
34:30
have easily walked this journey out in my home by myself, right, And
34:35
I'm the type of person I don't. I'm getting better, but I don't
34:39
openly share what's going on on the inside. So just imagine, you know,
34:44
as we were talking about burnout and allowing, you know, and how
34:47
depression and things start to slip in. Well, I had a dog that
34:51
I now had to care for and look at, come on now, and
34:54
he wasn't just a regular like so I thought, because this is me and
34:58
my human thinkings, I ain't gon I thought because he was older, he
35:01
was five four going on five, that he was you know, he was
35:06
gonna, you know, do the dog little thing and then he was gonna
35:07
go over there and sit by himself. Well, he was such a loving
35:10
and affectionate type dog, which I'm not that type of person, right,
35:15
So now I'm having to you know, learn how to you know, be
35:20
affectionate all these things and care for this other thing outside of myself. And
35:24
I'm starting to see myself like why am I getting frustrated upset? Because he
35:29
just want to see him, like why am I doing this? Or why
35:31
am I doing that? So as these things were coming up, I began
35:35
to lay them at the Lord's feet. Wow, Like literally, I'm like,
35:38
Lord, I don't why am I so angry and frustrated right now?
35:43
He he ain't doing nothing and I and I and I begin to see my
35:46
mom, whoa right? And I began to see, you know, instances
35:52
when I was a kid, how she would just get mad and angry and
35:54
I was just being me, And I'm like, why am I getting mad
35:57
at him for being himself? This is so you know what I'm saying.
36:00
And so as I'm walking through the season, I've had to deal with some
36:04
things in my heart with my dad, I also realized I was I was
36:07
a people pleaser. Pride. Pride was a thing that that the Lord started
36:15
to reveal to me also, and apparently I was I had made myself an
36:17
idol because I, as we talk about, booked the busy and a hustle,
36:22
hustle, hustle I was. I prided myself and being able to take
36:24
care of myself and pay my own bills, right until I couldn't do that
36:30
no more, until until the Lord says, I will dry up, until
36:35
I couldn't do that no more. So this year has literally been me being
36:37
obedient in the hard place and allowing God to take me along this journey of
36:45
healing, of restoration, of of him just being who he of me,
36:52
allowing him to be who he's supposed he's supposed to be in the first place
36:55
in my life. Right And so as I've been building this relationship I did
37:00
literally yesterday, I had been It had been in my in my heart as
37:05
I since the season shifting, the season is shifting into a little bit more
37:10
of a busier type season. You know, I don't know what the Lord
37:15
is doing, but I think it's gonna be amazing. Okay, I will
37:17
tell you. I keep seeing myself on the airplane with a camera, so
37:21
I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be flying somewhere. I don't know,
37:23
y'all, see me, don't say nothing, okay. But also and I'm
37:27
like, okay, but I got this dog though, right and so and
37:30
it's just me like, right now, stay with my friend. Her and
37:32
her girls been helping me out, but I'm transitioning back into my own space.
37:37
And I just personally did not want him to be there all the time
37:40
by himself, and so I had I was praying about it because I honestly
37:45
I was just gonna take him. I'm going somewhere with this, but I'm
37:49
just telling you the story because if I believe, if I had not been
37:52
doing relationship with God, I wouldn't recognize you begin to recognize and see him
37:58
in the everyday thing. Yeah, right. And so I was literally going
38:01
to go down to his vet because they love him down there and ask if
38:05
anybody was looking for a new friend on praying about it one morning and whatever.
38:10
And that was the other thing too. I had to release. Like
38:12
you said, it may not be five hours and nothing like that because my
38:15
brain be all over the place, but I do allowed some time in the
38:16
morning for God. So as I'm sitting there and I'm praying about it,
38:19
I'm like, Lord, be boh blah, blah blah blah blah. And
38:21
I'm sitting there and he dropped somebody in my spirit and it was somebody that
38:24
I've known for years. Matter of fact, I started doing their daughter's hair
38:29
when she's in the fifth grade. She's now a senior in college. Okay,
38:31
and we've had conversations about her wanting a a new a new dog.
38:35
So I said, oh, she'd be perfect. I know her, I
38:37
know a personality. She's a very loving person. And so we began this
38:40
process of introducing them, and so I decided on yesterday to take him there
38:46
and to release him to them. And so this whole all week, I
38:51
just been in my mind, like trying to talk to him, and you
38:52
know, I'm preparing myself X Y and Z. And I get there,
38:58
I take him in, I start to unload his things, and you know,
39:00
I'm trying. I'm doing good up until the part where I was getting
39:06
ready to leave, and he literally jumped up, and typically I don't like
39:08
him. I don't allow him to jump ump on me. He jumped up
39:10
and put his paws right here, almost like he was hugging me and letting
39:15
me know that it's okay, Like we're good. Now I'm on to my
39:20
to my next. You're you're being released to be onto your next And I'm
39:23
like, wow, God is so intentional about everything, like even that even
39:29
the pieces of that was orchestrated. Yeah, but because we've been doing relationship
39:32
together, I could recognize that. To a normal person that'd be like,
39:35
oh, she got a dog and she gave it to some to somebody.
39:37
But it's been the process in allowing God, allowing myself to rest in his
39:45
under the shelter. So the word for twenty twenty four for me is to
39:47
stay in that secret place, because in the secret place, there's protection,
39:53
there's provision, there's answers. There even there's just peace, you know what
39:58
I'm saying. And as the things are going already going on around us in
40:01
the world, if you are not connected, if you don't have your own
40:06
personal relationship with God, you're gonna be outside of the protection. Yeah,
40:12
and that's dangerous. That is very dangerous. Thank you for sharing that you
40:17
were reading and I wasn't gonna share this, but I guess when the last
40:22
comment that you made about the protection, right, This is one of my
40:25
favorites, well, one of the most highlighted parts of this scripture for me.
40:30
When it says in verse four, and this is Psalms ninety one four
40:36
NLT version, it says, he will cover you with his feathers, he
40:40
will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
40:47
And so the things that God has spoken over us, the things that
40:52
already ordained, the things that he's already manifested and that we're just walking into,
40:57
are the reasons why we are being protected. When we're outside of the
41:04
will of God, when we're outside of the relationship with God, we lose
41:07
protection and we don't see the promise because we don't have the covering. So
41:14
being inside of that includes all of them. That's why a lot of people
41:19
are like it's all or nothing like and God is so patient with us that
41:23
as we're figuring it out, it's like, Oh, I still ain't I
41:25
still ain't give you all of me, Like I still ain't done that.
41:29
I'm still kind of covering this up, like I ain't gonna lie. I'm
41:32
like, if if I really talk to y'all real, I always feel like
41:37
I'm like, man, Lord, I'm just a heathen. Just give up
41:39
on me like, please, just Lord, why I've been in those places
41:43
where I'm like, hey, Lord, why why are we even trying with
41:45
me anymore? Why are you even coming back? Because it's his faithful promise
41:51
and he can't Yeah, he can't lie on himself and he ain't taken a
41:53
back listen, And so I've been playing, I'll be fighting, I'll be
41:58
up here thing and I'm fighting with the Lord, punching myself like if I'm
42:02
really I'm me. I'm like, okay, Lord, And he's just sitting
42:07
there looking like you're heitting yourself. You're hitting yourself. You get tired?
42:12
Do you want some water? Yeah? Man? So yeah, like the
42:20
whole burnout situation. It's real, you guys. And so I'm I am
42:23
holding myself accountable. I got a question, jess What you heard that?
42:30
What was y'all gotta know desilraate in her questions because y'all heard the tone of
42:37
that. Hey, just give question, like what what do you want woman
42:43
to get? I think inquiring minds want to know as we're talking about,
42:49
you know, including yourself and your own schedule, what what would that look
42:52
like for Jessica? Like you're you're what the what would that look like for
42:58
you? So that might be a part of like what do I like doing?
43:06
So, Like for Christmas, I'm really looking forward to watching The Crown.
43:15
Like if y'all don't know who the Crown is, it's like this reenactment
43:19
of the Royal Family. Didn't know I was gonna like it, but my
43:22
dad like really urged, like pushed me to watch it. And so I'm
43:27
looking forward to that that comes out out Christmas Eve. And instead of watching
43:30
Christmas movies, which I like, I'm not saying that boring. I just
43:35
I just can't watch the same I'm not that person. But I do enjoy
43:37
Christmas lights, So I really want to gotch like to Zoo and you know,
43:43
like y'all see how I'm excited about going to d see these Christmas lights
43:47
and watching The Crown. When I saw that was coming out, I really
43:52
had something to look forward to. I have to give myself something to look
43:54
forward to to do it. And so I just all learning myself. I'm
43:59
still learning what I like and don't like. Cause what I used to like
44:01
some of the stuff, I just like, that's not me no more.
44:04
I can't I don't wear those clothes anymore, I can't fit those shoes or
44:07
I'm not like that. I was just talking to my friends on it about
44:10
this yesterday. Actually we were talking about, yeah, we might be in
44:14
the spaces or yeah, we even went to school together where we was,
44:17
you know, seeing each other like hegg gag y'all, like we was.
44:22
We was there, I was wearing her, we were in the same facilities.
44:27
Okay, but not saying that, you know, that's not you know,
44:30
cool whatever, it's just your the appetite kind of changed. So I
44:35
really like want to sit down watch Netflix like I don't even have, but
44:42
I probably don't need to do too much of it because I'll be trying to
44:44
figure stuff out too with certain things. So I have to be mindful of
44:46
what I watched because if it makes me try to think too much, then
44:51
nug on my brain and then I got a word for it. And so
44:54
I'm looking forward to just like not thinking about it and just like, oh
44:58
my gosh, I'm enjoying the store. I'm just enjoying like that part and
45:02
just laying down watching them more look at me, want to jump on the
45:07
couch all that stuff like that, Like I'm enjoying just doing nothing for Christmas.
45:13
Other stuff is like, I what is self care? That's a good
45:19
question because we people say self care is one thing, but somebody said something.
45:22
I don't know who this was, but they basically like some of us
45:25
work for self care, like like going to get your nails done. I
45:32
don't know how much of self care that is because for me personally, I
45:37
like to make fear everybody feel comfortable. So I'm having a whole conversation while
45:40
I'm getting my nails done, so it's not peaceful. I'll be sleep,
45:43
but I don't. I wish. I wish I could just go to sleep
45:45
on folks. No, I don't. If you touch my toes or do
45:51
anything in my hand, I need to make sure. I need to make
45:52
sure you clean this thing or I'm nosy. I'm oh, what you're gonna
45:55
ask my sister? I literally watch her and I'm like, Okay, are
45:59
you gonna do this? Wh why you put this one over here? Like
46:01
I have a real problem. So that's not necessarily self care for me.
46:05
That's just taking care of doing something for myself. So let's make mind for
46:10
self care for me is not having to think about anything. Everything done.
46:15
I can just probably call in an order. I don't want to do nothing.
46:17
I don't even want to drive. I think it's important though. I
46:21
love you said that, because you have to define what that is for you,
46:24
right, because I'm kind of the same way. I don't like watching
46:29
TV or shows that's gonna make me think. So if I watch TV,
46:34
it's probably gonna be HG TV because I'm being a creative and I love like
46:37
just the creativeness of that, and that don't make me think like, oh
46:40
what can I do to work? It's just like, oh, this is
46:43
cool. That's a great idea, X Y and Z. But you have
46:45
to just to define what self care is for you because I like I get
46:49
my nails done one because I use my hands and for me and then when
46:54
I and I like the way it makes me feel like I feel feminine and
46:59
girly when I get my nice little set done. Also, and because I
47:04
work with my hands, my nails are just soft because I'm in water all
47:07
the time, so I have to keep something on them to keep them hard.
47:10
But I literally I tell all, I'm about two three colors. We're
47:15
gonna you know, it just depends like I want right now. But most
47:19
of two three colors, she asks me one hand, and then most of
47:21
the time I'll be like sleep because that's a moment because I'm sitting steel.
47:27
For me, I'm normally always moving and joking and driving. So I'm looking
47:32
forward to one thing that I'm actually gonna do next year is I'm kind of
47:37
looking forward to cooking. But cooking I got like four of my grainy recipes.
47:43
Three of them are like desserts and one of them is dressing. But
47:46
I'm looking forward to trying them out and just documenting the process. Yeah,
47:51
you know, not necessarily trying to do it, you know, for business
47:53
or anything like that, but if I decide to share it, I can.
47:57
But I really just want to go through that process and what that feels
48:00
like. I also like painting, so painting probably taking the painting class is
48:07
probably on my on my to do, not to do, like I gotta
48:10
do it, but I really want to get back into it. And when
48:13
you saying painting, like you you really mean like like the canvas or like
48:17
sipping strokes or whatever. I enjoy those, but they do not decompress me.
48:22
Because I'm I'm affectionist. I don't know how to turn down for nothing
48:25
and if I feel like somebody else doing what I'm like, but how you
48:28
do that? How did you? I want them? College? I never
48:30
I've always gone to those things thinking I'm going to relax because I enjoy it.
48:35
But I'm like, I just need a wall. I just need to,
48:37
like something like the black, black and white wall back here I might
48:40
can do and just like organize and build. I think that now building stuff,
48:45
Oh that just I don't know what it is legs does it? Does
48:52
it make I'm just saying like, if you think of like the things that
48:54
to me, like, you want to find something that let people see you
48:58
while you say this, you want to find something that is one. I
49:04
think the number one criteria is gonna have to be p E A C E.
49:07
It's gonna have to bring bring you some peace. Okay, y'all should
49:13
have saw my face because I don't even I don't know why I spelled that
49:15
that was I see, like it's just just how yeah, it's gonna have
49:20
to it's gonna have to bring you peace, right you piece, So regardless
49:23
of what that may look like, it could be going to you know,
49:28
Talladega Derby and driving the car round the track at one hundred miles an hour,
49:31
If that's gonna bring you solitude and peace, you know what I'm saying.
49:36
So just figuring out what that looks like for Jessica, I think that
49:37
that's a good a good segue, like a good period point, like self
49:45
care brings you piece whatever that might look like, it brings you peace.
49:51
And so that's this has been a good conversation. We could talk about this
49:58
all day and it's it's not and I don't want y'all to think even if
50:02
y'all do, let me correct this. It's not a complaining point. It's
50:06
just like a haul. Like when God gives us our hall moments, we
50:09
have to be like, okay, cool, I'm just in the position of
50:13
my life where I get to share with you guys. So congratulations, You're
50:16
on the journey, all right, And so you guys, We love you,
50:20
guys. We appreciate you guys for everything, listening, sharing, sewing,
50:28
all of the above. I've gotten so many dms about I'm so proud
50:31
of you. I'm so so proud of you. Man. I'm proud of
50:35
myself because, like even today, it was mentally I had to fight to
50:39
be here and so thank you guys for your support. Thank you guys for
50:43
your for liking, sharing, commenting, and subscribing. Most importantly, y'all,
50:49
we are gearing up for some new, exciting things and so we do
50:52
not want you to miss out. Every Thursday, we are here, not
50:57
live, but you're able to watch wherever the day you watch it, We'll
51:00
appreciate you, so just remember that life could be much more simple if you
51:07
just ask. We'll see you next week. Hey, y'all, thank you
51:14
for listening to just ask. If you enjoyed this experience, be sure to
51:17
like coming and rate so others can find the show. If you'd like to
51:22
stay connected with me, feel free to follow me at the Jessica Smith on
51:27
all platforms. Again, I'm your girl, Jess. Until next time,