Latest / Your Creative Chord Podcast / Grief, Loss & Creativity Pt 1: Using Creativity To Reduce Isolation & Forge Deeper Meaning | Ep 89
Transcript
- 0:03Speaker: Welcome to Your Creative Chord Podcast, where host Jenny Leigh Hodgins, author and educator, shares unique insights dedicated to empowering your creative flow and inspired living.
- 0:13Speaker: Through solo reflections and dialogues with creators and wellness experts, Jenny Leigh shares holistic wisdom influenced by her Buddhist practice, alongside poetic insights and practical strategies for living authentically.
- 0:27Speaker: This podcast helps you overcome challenges and unlock your full creative potential.
- 0:44Jenny Leigh: Welcome to Your Creative Chord Podcast, where we empower your creative flow and inspired living.
- 0:49Jenny Leigh: I'm your host, Jenny Leigh Hodgins.
- 0:52Jenny Leigh: To celebrate the second anniversary of publishing my books, Kaleidoscope of the Heart, a collection of poetry and lyrics, and Start Piano, What You Need for Successful Learning, this month and next month will feature ideas, poetry, and original music.
- 1:07Jenny Leigh: Our topic in this three-month series will be on the interconnection between grief and loss experiences and creativity as a tool for healing.
- 1:18Jenny Leigh: We'll close the series out in an in-depth conversation with my guest, the Empowered Grief Journey podcast host and acceptance coach, Chris Mamone.
- 1:28Jenny Leigh: As the sole caregiver for my senior mother, who just turned 86 in January, and as someone who has experienced multiple unexpected losses of loved ones from my younger brother in a car accident in 2004 to dear close friends to cancer, heart attack, and health crisis, I continue walking my personal grief experience.
- 1:51Jenny Leigh: My creative process and spiritual practice have been lifelines for me and continue to guide me through this difficult path.
- 2:00Jenny Leigh: For those of you who are experiencing loss, this series is intended to support you.
- 2:06Jenny Leigh: We all grieve uniquely, and on our own personal timeline, there is no singular way to grieve.
- 2:15Jenny Leigh: But I do know that experiencing poetry, whether reading or listening to the works of others, or through creative expression of your own original verses, reduces the feelings of isolation and brings relief through supportive empathy, as expressed in verses.
- 2:35Jenny Leigh: So in the next two episodes, I will share meditative and calm readings from my book, Kaleidoscope of the Heart, as well as my original songs and music.
- 2:46Jenny Leigh: I will share the personal backstory behind selected creative works and demonstrate how my creative process with composing words and music supports emotional processing.
- 2:59Jenny Leigh: My creative works range from the expression of my own wrestling with angst, grief, and loss to a sense of grounding from alignment with greater purpose and an eternal connection with my loved ones beyond time and space.
- 3:16Jenny Leigh: And I share these creative pieces around the topic of grief and struggle as a way for us to find comfort in poetry and music and as a way to find deeper meaning from the grief journey.
- 3:30Jenny Leigh: Relief and loss are sometimes about losing a loved one through death.
- 3:36Jenny Leigh: But sometimes and also we feel lost through life transitions, friendship and relationship changes with identity and career shifts.
- 3:46Jenny Leigh: These experiences may include the loss of your creative compass or energy, the expression of burnout symptoms, and a deep yearning to find stillness, relief, comfort, and peace.
- 4:00Jenny Leigh: Or simply to feel less alone.
- 4:03Jenny Leigh: So my goal in sharing my music and words through the next couple of episodes is to help us reduce the feelings of isolation, get relief through emotional expression, forge spiritual and creative resilience, and to redirect our inner critic to reconnect to our core self.
- 4:24Jenny Leigh: The core self is that soul or the greater potential within each of us that has the strength, the courage, and the compassion to rise above any struggle with the power of hope and faith in ourselves and realize a deeper meaning and purpose within our experiences.
- 4:44Jenny Leigh: So this series on grief, caregiving, and creativity is meant to be an immersive and reflective experience for you, as well as a sharing of my authentic journey and creative work.
- 4:58Jenny Leigh: So we'll go through the hard things together, guided by and connected with the mystic power inherent within the creative heart of each of us.
- 5:08Jenny Leigh: It is my experience that tapping into creative expression, whether it's poetry, lyrics, music, art, dance, literature, storytelling, or another artistic outlet, that is what connects us.
- 5:21Jenny Leigh: And to human and to the universal power of the cosmos.
- 5:26Jenny Leigh: This connection bridges our hearts, our differences, and allows us to authentically voice our feelings and heal.
- 5:35Jenny Leigh: So let's start with a musical reflection.
- 5:39Jenny Leigh: First here's the backstory.
- 5:41Jenny Leigh: The music you will hear is a piece I composed to honor one of my dearest friends, Tina, who unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack before her 50th birthday in 2019.
- 5:53Jenny Leigh: I composed this piece as a tribute to Tina, and I shared it at her memorial, which I also helped plan and facilitate.
- 6:02Jenny Leigh: And the music is a tribute to all that is good about Tina and a deep appreciation for the many ways she encouraged me to see the good within myself.
- 6:12Jenny Leigh: It's called "On the Wings of Faith," because I knew Tina to be someone whose gentleness and pure heart guided her practice of faith.
- 6:21Jenny Leigh: The music expresses what I perceived as her ascension beyond our confined dimension into a realm of lightness and purity.
- 6:32Jenny Leigh: As you listen to my music, which by the way I've shared in a previous episode with a different reflection, if you recognize it, I hope you will allow yourself to simply be present with what the music evokes for you.
- 6:46Jenny Leigh: To sit with the music in stillness as it tells a story of loss, friendship, appreciation, sadness, and ultimately a tribute to faith.
- 6:57Jenny Leigh: You may wish to just listen to the music, or journal notes or verses as you feel moved.
- 7:04Jenny Leigh: The main focus of this musical meditation is for you to acknowledge your feelings as they are without judgment.
- 7:12Jenny Leigh: Use gentle care as you allow your feelings to emerge naturally.
- 8:44Jenny Leigh: [Music]
- 9:09Jenny Leigh: Acknowledging our feelings is part of the process of healing loss and grief.
- 9:14Jenny Leigh: It's important for our healing to allow whatever comes up.
- 9:20Jenny Leigh: And even though loss and grief can bring complex emotions, go through these with courage and trust in your ability to eventually process and surmount these feelings.
- 9:32Jenny Leigh: Music and poetry can help us get in touch with our deepest emotions.
- 9:38Jenny Leigh: This is one of the first steps to gaining a sense of relief, realization, and the deeper meaning of loss.
- 9:46Jenny Leigh: As a sole caregiver in a family dynamic of estrangement, I am grieving the illusion of a family I thought would be possible for me and my elder mother right now.
- 9:59Jenny Leigh: I also go through my own bouts with anticipatory grief, knowing full well from experiencing many unexpected losses that I can lose my mom at any moment.
- 10:10Jenny Leigh: And I really struggle with these feelings frequently as her caregiver.
- 10:16Jenny Leigh: The optimistic and empowering philosophy and my spiritual practice of Buddhism, along with creative and practical strategies, help me through this process.
- 10:26Jenny Leigh: So I know it's normal to feel sad, alone, and anxious about losing my mother one day, using creativity and spiritual practice like chanting, praying, journaling, nature walks, as well as heart-to-heart conversations with mom and close friends.
- 10:43Jenny Leigh: These all help me to stay the course through my grief journey.
- 10:47Jenny Leigh: Expressing feelings through poetry or lyrics helps me absorb, clarify, clear, and heal myself.
- 10:59Jenny Leigh: My poem, "And I Am Strong," from page 30 of my book, "Kaleidoscope of the Heart," expresses the inner strength that creative and spiritual practices give me.
- 11:10Jenny Leigh: Let me share this poem with you now.
- 11:15Jenny Leigh: "And I am strong. I'm learning how to move on, focus on getting beyond.
- 11:22Jenny Leigh: The old, the pain, the loss, the blame. I'm learning to just let it go. Let the life within me grow.
- 11:32Jenny Leigh: The burn in my heart that lasted so long is beginning to fade, and I am strong.
- 11:40Jenny Leigh: I am ready now to move on, develop a much deeper bond for hope, for love, for getting enough.
- 11:51Jenny Leigh: I'm flowing forward in my way, open to the joy of a new day.
- 11:58Jenny Leigh: The confusion I felt that held me back so long is melting like the snow, and I am strong.
- 12:08Jenny Leigh: Life is like an intricate maze that gets deeper with every layer of karma pulled away, and the journey goes beyond experiences that are gone, and the spirit rises up to carry on.
- 12:26Jenny Leigh: The power of my heart goes beating on and on. I survive, overcome, and I am strong." R
- 12:40Jenny Leigh: eflect. What feelings arise for you from hearing this poem?
- 12:44Jenny Leigh: No matter how difficult grief may be, it is my experience, and it is also supported by research, that poetry can reduce suffering and help you find purpose and meaning in such difficulties.
- 13:02Jenny Leigh: And that's what I hope you gain from today's creative immersion.
- 13:07Jenny Leigh: But going through feelings of grief and loss may be heavy at times.
- 13:11Jenny Leigh: Poetry can help us release some of these emotions. Like a heavy crying session can bring relief.
- 13:20Jenny Leigh: Here is a poem I wrote after the death of one of my very closest friends, Linda, called "Talking to Your Ghost" from page 83 of Kaleidoscope of the Heart:
- 13:33Jenny Leigh: I would like to tell you, your death shocks me. You tell me, don't worry about it.
- 13:38Jenny Leigh: You tell me, just relax. You tell me, don't think about it too much.
- 13:45Jenny Leigh: I would like to tell you, your laughter always took away my heaviness and fear.
- 13:51Jenny Leigh: So, during our next encounter when I'm on my knees in garden dirt, or sweating bullets over how to repair something in my house, and I hold the phone to delve into the nitty gritty details and get your advice, but the sound of your voice and laughter is replaced by stone cold silence.
- 14:13Jenny Leigh: My breath punches my gut. My heart feels lost for a full agonizing moment of reality.
- 14:26Jenny Leigh: For me, that poem clearly shows how hard and surreal loss can feel.
- 14:29Jenny Leigh: One moment I'm having a heart-to-heart chat with a good friend. The next moment is completely void of her presence, knocking me off balance.
- 14:37Jenny Leigh: And grief can feel that way.
- 14:38Jenny Leigh: Here are a few short poems on that subject.
- 14:43Jenny Leigh: This is from page 78 of Kaleidoscope of the Heart.
- 14:46Jenny Leigh: Short poems called "This is the Poem," "Changes," and "Life Without You."
- 14:53Jenny Leigh: This is the poem.
- 14:54Jenny Leigh: This is the poem that cries in the middle of my soup, that bursts because my heart cannot hold the grief in, because losing you is surreal.
- 15:08Jenny Leigh: And when sorrow takes away all my energy and strength, this is the poem that explains, "In my creative garden where I feel you like the immovable rock near the flowers."
- 15:28Jenny Leigh: "Changes." Plants appear out of nowhere, from the bare ground, subtly breaking through soil to reach for the sun's light, with energy that grows and spreads, the seeds, leaves, petals, and fruit, like unseen magic in my gardens.
- 15:45Jenny Leigh: Then fades and browns all flowers and leaves until they drop and blow away with the wind before I ever fully comprehend any changes.
- 15:58Jenny Leigh: "Life Without You."
- 16:04Jenny Leigh: Darkness falls in the middle of the day, sunlight hidden in the foggy gray, air so misty that the path is hidden.
- 16:16Jenny Leigh: Still, I'm walking on to find the way.
- 16:20Jenny Leigh: Something simple, like the sound of you, laughing loudly at something I would do, breaks the heaviness falling on my heart, pushes me to keep on going through.
- 16:40Jenny Leigh: And here's my poem called "Empty," from page 94 of "Kaleidoscope of the Heart.:
- 16:44Jenny Leigh: It's empty, like opening the door but no one is there.
- 16:50Jenny Leigh: Awkward and odd, like waking up in an unfamiliar place, expecting the usual.
- 16:58Jenny Leigh: Eerie, to see everyone I love so dearly in normal circumstances carrying on like they have holes in their hearts, hidden beneath the chatter.
- 17:12Jenny Leigh: There is a loud elephant in every room, roaring your absence, the void.
- 17:21Jenny Leigh: We are circus trainers put upon to catch this wild animal of loss without nets or whips for protection.
- 17:30Jenny Leigh: Feels like falling without a net, dropping from my fear of heights, blundering into the darkness alone, and yet we are together without you.
- 17:44Jenny Leigh: It's empty, like the moment when the sun disappears and night begins.
- 17:51Jenny Leigh: Quiet and still, but the memories and emotion overwhelm with fullness.
- 18:00Jenny Leigh: I speak to you within my heart as if our dialogue never stopped.
- 18:06Jenny Leigh: I listen for your voice from within the rustle of leaves and rain.
- 18:11Jenny Leigh: I hear nothing but feel it all. It's empty.
- 18:17Jenny Leigh: I have purposely shared verses that express that sharp angst of the grief experience today because I know that bravely facing our heaviest emotions is the way through.
- 18:32Jenny Leigh: Use my creative works in this moment to care for yourself gently and allow space for all your feelings.
- 18:39Jenny Leigh: If you need support, please reach out to a qualified therapist or grief counselor.
- 18:45Jenny Leigh: In next month's episode, I'll be sharing more of my verses from Kaleidoscope of the Heart, and specifically I'll share words that reveal the deeper and eternal connection forged with my late loved ones and how their lives and deaths have inspired me to live with more presence and purpose.
- 19:04Jenny Leigh: I'll also be sharing some of my original songs and a piano piece for meditative experiences that may help you in the practice of gentle stillness with your authentic feelings.
- 19:17Jenny Leigh: If today's episode spoke to you, I invite you to continue that reflection through my poetry and lyrics collection, Kaleidoscope of the Heart.
- 19:26Jenny Leigh: You can explore the therapeutic power of poetry and get your copy at yourcreativechord.com/books.
- 19:36Jenny Leigh: And if this reflection is stirring something in you and you like gentle structure to explore your own creative process, you can download my free creative empowerment sampler at yourcreativechord.com/getinspiredhere.
- 19:51Jenny Leigh: It offers simple practical tools to help you move through blocks and reconnect with your creative flow.
- 20:00Jenny Leigh: As we close today's episode, I invite you to carry these reflections and creative moments with you.
- 20:06Jenny Leigh: In episode 90, next month, we'll celebrate the two-year anniversary of my book, Start Piano, What You Need for Successful Learning, with more of my original piano works for meditative listening and creative reflection.
- 20:20Jenny Leigh: And to close out this three-part series, in episode 91, my guest Chris Momoni, acceptance coach from the Grief Empowerment Journey podcast, he will join me to explore the grief experience with real talk and practical ways to navigate.
- 20:36Jenny Leigh: Find meaning and move forward without being defeated by it.
- 20:40Jenny Leigh: Chris featured me as a guest on his show recently, and we had a great conversation about the Grief Journey and how creative, spiritual, philosophical, and practical strategies help the healing process.
- 20:55Jenny Leigh: Thank you so much for sharing this time with me today, for gently opening your heart to your own feelings, and for letting creativity guide you through your Grief Journey.
- 21:04Jenny Leigh: I'll see you in episode 90.
- 21:34Jenny Leigh: Embrace the journey.