Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S4 E40 - 251

Transcript

S4 E40 - 251 · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, hey, Stephen Jeff Show band.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for singing us in.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: And oh, you know what I'll tell you, Jeff?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: Great to be back in the studio.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: I love summer.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: You know, summer is just all about festivals and fairs.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, I years back, I I really started loving summer festivals years back.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_03: I went to this big festival, the marriage of heaven and earth.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: But then, you know, a few years later I went to the it was really messy divorce after that.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: But I didn't agree.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_03: How are you doing there, Jeff?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: The weekend was okay, but I went to a county fair.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever been to a county fair?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's been a while.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: Did they have those in Peoria?
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: They did, yeah.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Heart of Illinois Fair.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: Used to go every year.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_03: Hungwood Carney, smoke cigarettes.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was a progressive.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: Did you did you throw those rings for cigarettes?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, sure.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_02: That was great.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: So I went to this county fair, but it was kind of bittersweet, you know, fun in some ways, but bittersweet in others.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: Talk about it.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: What what what was bittersweet?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_02: What happened?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, as you know, I love flying.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you actually knew that, but flying on the ground sometimes too.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: I hear absolutely I love getting as high as I can.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: I know that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: Even even if Crash Davis is uh you know on the plane with me, I still enjoy it.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: And I was at the county fair and I saw this guy who was offering rides for people, you know, to it was like in the field, you know, it's kind of like the crop duster kind of plane, you know, and he was offering rides, and it was one of those single engine Cessnas, and and I was thinking about taking the ride.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: Now, yeah, I know you like to fly, but boy, I've heard those planes are dangerous.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: I used to love to fly also, but you know, I tra I travel a lot with work, and and for for years I've traveled a lot with work, and company they got on this budget thing and they forced everybody to fly spirit airlines.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: So I kind of I kind of stopped loving flying, you know, but I don't know.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, can I do that?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I thought all those complaints about spirits were just like about spirit on was just like a punchline jokes, you know, that they were sort of unfair, you know, because they were cheap and you know, they didn't have great service.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: So, but you're saying there was something to it?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you know, aside of like not really sitting down on the backboard people in.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: There were all that, but right before they filed for bankruptcy, something happened that really in all my years of flying, I'd never seen.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_03: I've been on lots of planes and never saw this before.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: Hopefully, I won't see it again.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_03: Were you promoted to first class?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: Was that it?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: Does Spirit have a first class?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: That wasn't it because on Spirit, first class is just your seat is a little closer to the bathroom, and it only costs you two dollars.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so I was boarding a flight, and I noticed this pilot walks on, and he's you know, the blind canes, the red and the white with the thing on the end, the tap.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: He was using one of those.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_03: Hidden the aisles as he walked in, walked in, you know, hidden uh by the doors, you know.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of us on the plane saw this, and we kind of looked at each other, didn't we really know what to do?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_03: So flight attendant gets on and realizes what's going on.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_03: So flight attendant says, ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain's legally blind.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: But rest assured, he's one of the best pilots in the world.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_03: He's got over 6,000 successful flights.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_03: So I thought, well, you know, do it on instruments.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: I, you know, maybe.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: What do I know, right?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: So kind of calmed down a little bit.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: Well then co-pilot comes on.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: The only reason I know he's a copilot, slightly younger, we're in a pilot's outfit, also.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_03: He's using the cane, too.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: He's got the same red and white cane.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_03: And so starting to get nervous again, you know.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_03: Flight tendon gets back on the PA and says, ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_03: Rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over 5,000 successful flights.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm thinking, okay, yeah, I know this was a cheap fare.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_03: The$69 airfare to LaGuardia, right?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, well, what do you what do you expect?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: I I guess I didn't expect that, but now by the time they charged me for the penis in the water, that$69 airfare was two$220.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_03: But good old spirit, boy, they were great, weren't they?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, at this point, we start to take off, you know.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: So it starts going down the runway, gains speed.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: And you know how it gains speed, and then at some point you have that that part where you you you lift off, you know.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we just kept running.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: We just kept gaining speed, no lift-off, you know?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: It was getting near kind of the end of the runway.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I I don't know, you know.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: We still hadn't left the ground.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: So this lady up I I was a couple rows, she was in 6C.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: I remember gosh, I remember that C.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: She's a lady in 6C screams, Oh my god, we're all going to die.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: Loud, really loud.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: So if she yells that plane takes off.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_03: So, wow.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we probably just caught like the last little bit of the runway.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so the captain gets on, gets on the microphone and says, Yeah, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank that lady in 6C for screaming, or we wouldn't have known when to take off.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_03: Is that kind of what happened to you when you were flying on the crop duster?
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, in fairness, you know, because I like to fly really, really high.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I always oh I know that, yes.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm impressed with your experience, and I don't actually remember what was bittersweet about mine, but I think it had something to do with carnivals and fairs and you know how much fun they are, or maybe not winning.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, I really don't know.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: I I I forget what I was saying, but but I I do love fairs and celebrations, so maybe it wasn't bittersweet after all, but for that reason, I was disappointed in the 250th Fourth of July celebration.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: To me, you know, somebody who loves fairs and celebrations, it just lacked the fun and excitement that other events that I've been to, like like the Walworth County Fair.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and I think it I think it lacked the attendance of the Walworth County Fair, too.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think it did.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: And and I think your flight might have been even more, you know, entertaining than the 250th celebration.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: It was quite entertaining then.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: So uh maybe the former spirit execs that are laid off, maybe they could help plan the next celebration.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_03: Well, they would have made it a lot more exciting, and it probably wouldn't have gotten off the ground any better than it did without them.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, exciting, but probably not as much fun.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, I'm glad you mentioned the 250th celebration.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: Because, you know, like many other people, I heard that our king wasn't happy with that with that festival.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_03: And there's a lot of late night yelling, and there's catch up on different walls and the White House, you know.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: I thought it focused too much on stuff like you know, liberty, freedom, history of our country, the declaration of independence, all those brave well, as he calls them, suckers and losers.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: You know, of course fighting men and women who've kept their country and the world free for all these years, you know.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_03: Boring stuff compared to praising our king, right?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I I know exactly what you mean.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: But unfortunately, the 250th celebration only comes around every couple years, and it's gonna be a while since we have a chance to kind of do a redo.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm gonna guess it might be, oh, I don't know, 250 years.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not getting math, but I'm footballing here.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: But but I heard the king was so upset that he wants to do another one and he's gonna call it the 251st.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if it's gonna be a year from now, it's probably gonna be sooner, but you know, don't confuse him with math.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_03: He's got his own way of counting.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's like the prices are down eight thousand percent, you know.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 251st.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_03: When I say mulligan, Epstein had a dog named Mulligan, by the way.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_03: Golden Retriever didn't know that.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: Great with young kids, as you might imagine, especially young girls.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't Melania.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: Melania loved that dog.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: The dog really, though, didn't do any tricks.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_03: You know how sometimes dogs can do tricks or do new stuff.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_03: This dog just would lick all day.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: That can be boring.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: That can get boring, licking that is.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Anyways, I see some of the things that the new improved celebration, I I see this this sort of brochure that kind of tips us off and of what this new celebration will have going for it for the 251st.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe we should go over it.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the first correction or upgrade to the celebration that are things is that this year's marching band only marched in Washington, D.C.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_03: for the 250th, only in Washington, D.C.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: And they only had the Army, Navy, and Marines marching.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_03: So it's hard for everyone to celebrate it from from a distance, you know, like they're in Omaha or Chicago or you know, somewhere else.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: You know, so next year at this next one, it could be next year, could be next week.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: I you know, we don't know yet.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: He's he'll tell us when when it is.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_03: He's gonna command 251, because you know 51st, right?
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: 251 ice troops, march troops, 251 specially selected democratic cities.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_03: So imagine the spectacle of 251 fat, untrained, unemployable patriots trying to walk at least as far as the nearest Duncan Don.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: And and just randomly firing guns into the crowd.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that should be thrilling for sure.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_03: To see how many actually make it.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I hope I can get a good steep, but you know, you remember all that talk about hey, you get a fifty thousand dollar bonus and loan forgiveness and this and that.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_03: I heard that, yeah.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: Well, well, it comes out.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_03: Is that right?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's five years, guys.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think so.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: Another one of those crazy Trump deals, right?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: That uh that uh doesn't always go well.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: And and I hear I hear that when they're done marching, this is how they really earn their money, they'll go into churches and homes and they'll sign autographs, you know, they'll go that extra mile.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: They'll come see all of us, especially after some of the shows that we have done, they'll probably come see us too.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_02: No need to leave your door unlocked, they'll just force their way in anyway, and they're really good at that.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I also hear that when they go in that into houses, that they'll give special instructions on how to use firearms.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: And don't worry about privacy because none of them wear body cams.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that would be just an American, yeah, yeah, which I guess is the main idea.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: But of all, you know, in addition to that, I guess they're gonna go to the Capitol to celebrate, you know, at Mirilaga.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: And and yeah, and they're setting up booths, which is I think they took that right from the county fairs, which is I think is a great idea.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they did.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and they're for all kinds of ages, and the charge to get in is a thousand dollars per person or two hundred thousand in Trump crypto dollars, which is actually a bargain since you know those aren't worth anything anyway.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I'm glad you I'm glad you brought up the cost of admission because I know a lot of people think that taxpayer money is gonna be used for this.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_03: I've read, and it says right here in the brochure, it's being funded by one very generous private donor.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_03: And that's even they name the donor.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_03: It's a Ulysses Simpson Treasury.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, wait.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's being funded by US Treasury.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_03: Uh but I had a grasp.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_03: Well, anyway, let's let's look at some of these booths, uh, see what they have here.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: I see one here, face painting and dress up.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_03: It's run by Christy Noam and her husband.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I think I think it's a great opportunity for anyone to be terrorist queen for a day.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: I agree.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: And then oh, oh, you you wanna, once you get your face painted, yeah, you'll want to go to this.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_03: They have a diorama.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's like uh, you know how they like a lot of these cultural things, they'll have a they'll have a performance as part of it, you know.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: They have a performance here too.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's the January 6th theater.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: They reenact January 6th, of course they attack the Capitol, and except in this version, it's a little different.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: They actually reached Nancy Pelosi in Pence, and and it's got a special appearance by her king at the inauguration ceremony where, of course, he stayed in power.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I understand at the end of the show, fake ballots are handed out to the first 2,000 to attend.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_03: That's perfect.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_03: I mean that's pretty wild.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, look at this.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I I gotta go to this one here.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's Mark Wayne Mullen's magic show.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: He's doing he's gonna be performing death-defying acts that yeah, you you wouldn't believe, where actual real people are tortured, beaten, shot at, run over, and then deported.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: How about that?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: He's also got that great now you see them, now you don't trick.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he does all this, the amazing thing, he does all this all while gripping a squeeze ball.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: Now that's talent.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: I got good feelings about him.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think he's gonna go places to at least a lot of the cities.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, he'll go places.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, oh yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and then oh, and of course, of course, Melania has got a booth.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: And her booth, they have a little picture of it, and it's got it's got signs with prices for French, prices for Greek.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't know she spoke so many languages.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, yeah, that's how she got that Epstein visa.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: I mean the Einstein visa.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, she'll be promoting her new movie, Lady is a tramp.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I mean, it should be First Lady is a tramp.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: Talk about performance.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_03: They got an actual Broadway show.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: Now it's not it's not quite as good as the Broadway show we had a few weeks ago, but Bob Snyder, probably in his Broadway debut, plays the title role in a play called The Shredding Boy.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: He threads the Epstein files, tax returns, the Constitution, whatever, whatever you want.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's sort of a an audience participation, stream of consciousness sort of play.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_03: You know, those they'll do whatever.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_03: And of course, of course, the Miss Pre Teen USA pageant that our king is gonna host.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_03: You know, he's very excited about that one, as you can imagine.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: Aren't we all?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: Except for the parents, I guess.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: And then they were gonna have a booth for all the countries that like what we're doing.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: But unfortunately, Russia was busy that day and nobody else showed up.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: So that that booth has trash.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: But but they are gonna have on repeat a five-minute concert where Dee Green was singing God bless the USA on the five-minute loop 24-7.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_02: He's he's the best, you know, and I have all of his songs.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, I think every if you have a song, I think you've got them all.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, good.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_03: And of course, there'll be a booth where former attorney general Pam Bondi will do storytelling.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: Nice.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: She can tell stories like nobody's business.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_03: And you know now, you gotta be a little careful if those kids ask her a question, she might snap it.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: She gotta watch it, she might insult the kids.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_03: And of course, part of the ceremony that was gonna be an Iranian US war reenactment where you get to bet on either side, but of course, we declare victory every time.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_03: And then last but not least, Lindsay Spooky.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_03: And that's where a lot of the MAGA people who are out of public view, shall we say, hang out.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: And it's oh, you wanna you talk about scary.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: That is really, really scary.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: That is a really good head start to changing this thing around, making it fun, making stand for something.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: And it sounds amazing to me.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: I heard also that they're gonna do a lottery.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, lotteries are very popular in in every state, and they're gonna do a national lottery, and the winner will be announced at a later date, probably a much later date, you know, probably about the same time that the ice people will get their bonus.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: Right after two weeks after, right yeah, two weeks after that.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I hear that the cost to buy a ticket is a thousand dollars, and everyone in the country will be required to buy a ticket, and there'll be a guaranteed payout of$251 to the lucky guy.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: And on my bet is on a member of the of the King's family or Elon's family as the winner because they're just lucky.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_03: You know, though, I'm feeling kind of lucky too.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_03: This reminds me of those carnivals where you pay five bucks, and if you win a grand prize, you get a 25 cent stuffed animal.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_03: You know, if you just buy the animal, you'd be staying ahead, right?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: I think this is gonna be uh just as much a winner.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: Or North Trump University.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: You know, did you ever hear of Obama University?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: Never.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: Let's see what else we have here.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: World's biggest amusement park.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna build this thing over a period of a year, and and according to what it says, it's it's an amusement park, the likes that this world has never seen before.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I love how each ride is named after an American patriot.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's great.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like Washington, Lincoln, Kennedy.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no, not those patriots.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: We're talking about like Bezos balloon rides and Zuckerberg's roller coaster, you know, people who are bankrolling this country.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, Musk's Space Mountain, which he's really kind of the leader of the of the pack.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_03: And don't as tall as it was when it first came out, though, but but I digress.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: Not as tall, no.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: And and then also don't forget Jared's Wheel of Fortune, you know, he spins the wheel and he wins the money.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_02: And and the cool part is that with each ride, the rides end up turning you upside down, which is really a cool feeling, although you end up losing like all your change and your wallets and stuff.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, you know, uh for some reason it almost seems like they do that on purpose.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_03: My mistake with when I was thinking Washington Lincoln Kennedy, my mistake was I that I was thinking historical paid feats, but now these are more modern day oligarchic, if you will.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: So there you go.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and and I'm sure, like any carnival, like any county fair, whatever, I'm sure they got a lot of great food there.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_03: You know, now they give a price list on some of the food.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: Burgers are a hundred bucks a piece, but they're worth every dollar, I'm sure.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: Because they're like the most amazing beef.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody's seen beef like this, no cow has ever seen beef like this ever.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, of course, those elephant ears.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: They taste like elephants.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and whatever you do, don't pass up those bologna sandwiches.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: Because I guarantee you there'll be plenty of bologna everywhere, all around that place.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: You won't believe how good they are because they're baloney, of course.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we should give credit to Robert Kennedy Jr.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: I understand that he ran over a really large baloney on the way there and brought it up with Roadkill.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: All that sounds delicious, makes me hungry.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: I'm getting hungry, yeah.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: Now I see here that in addition to those ice parades throughout the country, they will be having this uh mega or mega-sized parade uh called the King's Parade, and that will be in Washington, D.C.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think anybody's ever seen the likes of that parade.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: No, nor will the likes of the other one uh either.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: But no, let's look at some of the floats.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: Now, these are ones with floats just marching people, me too.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: So the first one, the name of the float is Thanks America.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's a float from Putin.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, yeah, and it congratulates America.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: He was busy, but he set a float.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's nice.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: It was nice.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: That's thought, and uh, you know, he congratulated America on entering a winless war, like he did, and helping boost oil prices for Russia, which will be used to help destroy Ukraine.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, hey, there you go.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: You're welcome.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: The next one, another Friends of America, and this is from the people of Greenland.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: This booth will hold all of the people who live in Greenland who are for the U.S.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: taking over.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: And and it's a smaller booth, it only really holds one person, and that's the person who's driving it.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the float driver.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the float driver.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: But still, thank you, Greenland, for saying that.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's a nice show support.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_02: Next one is a FBI float.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: This is a fun one because this is where Cash Patel gets shit faced, you know, waves at the crowd, they help celebrate how great the country is by taking shots and toasting the crowd and toasting everybody.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: Sounds pretty great.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_03: That does.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it seems like there's a lot of booths that are thanking America.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: And here's another one.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: This one's from Canada.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: By the time they thanked us, right?
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, we can so much.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: Does Canada even own a suit?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think so.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: I've never seen it.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: So this boat was made of Canadian wood and has a big thank you from Canada for helping that country become independent of us, especially in trade.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they've been liberated.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: By liberated, liberation day for them doesn't mean tariffs.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: It actually means liberated from the United States.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: We have done more to help Canada.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_03: Would they be self-sufficient if they didn't have the prodding of like us?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: This is uh from the Department of War.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Pete Hexeth waves at the crowd as he pumps iron and shoots testosterone shots to himself and out to the crowd, too.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, he's gonna he's gonna throw them out, you know.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it gets them all excited, you know, getting crowded crazy.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: Well, free service by the Secretary of Warfighting and Alpha Male posturing.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_03: And that's important.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: It is.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: Here's another thank you to America.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: This was from Spain for helping for helping them win the World Cup by having Trump cheat to try to get the U.S.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: to win, but fail, which you know spurred them on to victory.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and the president of Spain loves Trump.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, they're such they're they're like this.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: Now nobody can see my fingers, but they're really far apart.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: No, I mean they're right next to each other.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: So this one's interesting.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think I've ever seen this.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: This is a series of limos, and they're as far as the eye can see, and they are driven by new millionaires that were formerly the January 6th Patriots.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_02: So this is from the money they got.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: They got the money.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: The next one is the Treasury and the IRS got together to do a float themselves, and this combines private donors that nobody knows, you know, it does and also exposes people's tax records.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: So they throw those out.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know, anybody who had a tax record done, they throw that out there.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_02: Returns, and there's a big sign that says math is fake news.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_03: I know that Secretary Howard Nutlick, I mean Lutnik, he's he's gonna love that because that's he's all over that thing.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, though, I think just reading ahead a little bit, I think my favorite float is two-thirds of the Supreme Court is gonna have a float.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_03: And they're you know, a lot of these parades, the floats throw candy and kids run fit candy and stuff.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: They're not gonna throw candy.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: You have to throw candy at them.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: So uh you know, they collect the candy, so it's kind of nice.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: It looks like this parade is diverted, and it's not gonna be going down Pennsylvania Avenue because you know they're blocking off Pennsylvania Avenue, basically.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: So they would probably say the Iranians are blocking it.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_03: I read that they were blocking it, but anyway, it's gonna be diverted through the Walmart over on Stephen Street, just about as good, if you ask me.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_02: I guess it depends on the day of the week, right?
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: On Friday.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's not blocked off, but then you know, come during the week.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: You probably if you're gonna come to this performance, this ceremony, you probably want to go during the week.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_02: These are a ton of upgrades, and I'm looking forward to celebrating in Chicago next year.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_02: Are you gonna be doing that in Omaha or you know, I might try to go somewhere.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_03: I might I might join you in Chicago, I might, I don't know.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_03: I just can't wait to get in and really celebrate that important milestone 251st anniversary.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's the important one.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's like decades, you know, where they're saying like 1990.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: Well, is that the first year of the nineties, or is that actually the last year of the eighties?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: And then the new decade starts with one.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's kind of like that.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_03: This is math, so Howard Nutlick isn't gonna like this one little bit, but it kind of makes sense.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_03: Something new to look forward to, I'll tell you.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: There's always something, isn't there, Jeff?
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: It'll be great.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: Can't wait.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I just remembered what was bittersweet about that county fair, but well, that'll have to be held for the next time we talk, Steve.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_03: Save that for a future episode.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe we can expand on that a little bit.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: They're gonna kick us out of eccentric Lady Land Studios here, so Steve and Jeff Show Band.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_03: Sing while we walk.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a Merligan production in association with Made It Up Media.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Read all about our hosts at step and Jeff.com.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: Please come to our 251st celebration.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, bring up plus one and double our attendance.