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Transcript

Surprise Pregnancy 3 · Scott & Ally on Demand

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: We definitely have a little tough of a situation, but I think with the texts and the messages that are coming in from people, maybe it's gonna help out figure out the best course of action with the surprise pregnancy of two people who have already agreed we are not gonna be a couple.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, uh they've been friends for a long time, but then they decided to become friends with benefits just within the past few months, and then they get pregnant really quickly.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: They know they're adults, they know what the consequences are.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, yeah.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's a matter of what do you do with it now.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Because even this person says, this text message says I was in a similar situation.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: I told the guy I was really up front, and if he chose not to be in the baby's life, then I'd raise the child.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: No support, but also no visitation either.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: However, if he chose to want to be in the child's life, then we would work out the logistics of visitation and if child support was appropriate, or if we could just agree that child purchases for necessary items be split.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: P.S.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: I ended up marrying him.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my god! That's not great! I know I do love that little happy ending.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: I do want to come over to Merle for a minute.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, Merle and I are are pretty close in age.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and uh we both speak from a level of just how life changes from somebody that very clearly sounded like they were in their early 20s.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and that's okay.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, it is what it is.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: But they said different forms uh of of adoption.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: That was my suggestion.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: I said, well, maybe, and here's the reason why.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Merle really sums it up.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's open adoption, then both uh uh went in knowing.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Both, you know, mom and dad would go in knowing, because I'm gonna bet he knowing that they already were not planning on being a couple, maybe being friends, I think he would be also be more comfortable going, yeah, this might be a situation where there's something better for the child, because there's an a big innocent involved in all of this, and that is the child.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, beyond anything else.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and Merle goes on to say, uh, let's see here.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh they both went in knowing, exactly.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Uh should have discussed that uh that too.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, that doesn't always happen.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_02: No, they should have discussed the what-ifs.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we but it's weird when you're like just starting to you're never talking about.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I know we're we're just starting friends with benefits, but what if we get pregnant?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, three months in, you're probably not talking about that.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: And they went on to agree that life changes a lot.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: And uh doubts you is really quote unquote ready.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but okay, you're no one's really ready, are they?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, even you were all older in your life, it's not like you were like so financially set.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: You still doesn't it doesn't mean you're gonna love the child less, even if you're not ready.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's that's very true.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: You have to look at it in the sense, and this is the only way that I can put this because I was raised with this knowledge, having been adopted.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know this.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: The only thing I know about my adoption is I know that it wasn't like a young college kid or something like that, that you know, uh although I have friends that were adopted, it was that situation.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: I know mine wasn't.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: I believe from what I was told by my parents, my adoptive parents, that they knew they couldn't quite provide the life that they wanted to see me have.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: And now I've ended up a radio host, is my career.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: But either way, you know, and and they wanted me to have those opportunities.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: So that was a very mature look at the future.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes you gotta stop and pull yourself back if you're able to do that, because every emotion's gonna be involved in this right now.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, but I also think there is some growing.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like I had a friend, uh, I have a friend, and she we jokingly call her lots of kids, Katie, because she has lots of kids, and but she grew, even though she had young children, was in a similar situation, but she still her life was able to, she was able to even mature.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, sure, that can happen too, yeah.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: All of that too.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Let me play, let me play this one really quick because there's options, opportunities, and she talks about one of them.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Good everyone.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I wanted to weigh in on the caller or um voice message, whatever she is, I'm not quite sure.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: But um just another perspective in this.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my biological father, I don't believe, knew about me.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't find out about him until I was 20.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that's a whole traumatic story in and of itself.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: But best as I can piece together, he didn't know about me.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um I hold a lot of resentment towards my mother for that.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: We have been no contact for years, that's a whole other story.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: But a whole lot of other stories.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Give him the option if he wants it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's not fair to him or the baby if you don't.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, all right.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that is gonna be an option.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think we did agree in the very beginning.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: The most important thing you have to do is you gotta rip this band-aid off right away.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_01: This can't wait three months in, four months in.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: This has to be like a phone call before the weekend or by the weekend and saying, we gotta talk.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you need to know.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: From there, you're gonna start seeing a picture of what really you know, I think it'll help make the decisions.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, on whether you know or not this is gonna be a a a positive for both of them, or maybe we should look at other options.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know how she can tell 'em.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: So 'cause obviously they're friends with benefits.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: So next time they get together, oh, you don't need to use protection.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, just because I you can't get pregnant twice.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh God.