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TRYING TO FIND MR. RIGHT? OR MR. RIGHT NOW? · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:06
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:09
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me, ma'am.
0:12
Live. Hi, guys.
0:14
Then we have our summer fun slave who is in the house, hey?
0:18
How's it going? You sounded Italian there, hey.
0:24
Pesto pest racist I think. Isn't everything these days?
0:32
Culturally inappropriate. It's.
0:40
A spicy meatball. Speaking of spicy meatballs, PO,
0:48
you're a dude. We're talking today.
0:51
We're going to talk about dating women.
0:54
Now we're prompting you at some point to do a dating profile.
0:59
Yes. We're going to help you with
1:01
that this summer. I I look forward to it, Would
1:03
you? Be on Christian Mingle.
1:05
Oh, you know, I was thinking farmers only, you know, You
1:08
know, you start, you'll get low and you go high, you know?
1:13
Farmersonly.com. Well, that's Ricola.
1:19
Ricola Well, you know a. Lot of our friends, it's kind of
1:25
funny because Liv has experienced this.
1:29
She has gone out with people who have dated other people that
1:32
she's known and crisscrossed back and forth and it's like 1,
1:35
we're in a small area, 2. You know, it is, it's just a
1:39
couple cities and combined and it's kind of fucking funny
1:43
because it's all in one dating site, which is Facebook Dating.
1:46
But it's funny because everybody fucking knows everybody.
1:49
Without knowing anybody. Yes.
1:51
Yeah, I, I, I didn't even know that Facebook had a, a dating
1:55
that's. Area well we're going to dabble
1:56
in it just for you I. Think it's classier than Tinder.
2:00
Tinder's like get hookup site. You know, Facebook, I feel like
2:03
everything can be turned into a hookup, but I feel like Facebook
2:05
was a little classier. Have you been on Bumble?
2:06
Before yes girls can talk 1st and that was annoying because
2:10
I'm like I want them to ask. Me you're 1.
2:12
Of those girls. OK, OK, The traditionalist.
2:16
Well. You know, my mom always said
2:19
never chase after a man and she absolutely fucking right.
2:23
So I think that's a that's a step in the right direction,
2:26
honestly, because men need to search, they need to hunt.
2:29
They need, yeah, the hunters. I would agree with that.
2:32
There's there's a certain majestic characteristics in the
2:35
thrill of the hunt. Once you start know the
2:37
pursuing, I guess the old predator prey evolutionary, you
2:41
know, impact that it has on us that, you know, fight for what's
2:43
ours and that includes hunting and gathering the ladies.
2:48
You know, Keanu Reeves once was asked, are you a lover?
2:52
Are you a fighter? And he said, well, if you're a
2:54
lover, you're automatically a fighter because you want to
2:56
fight for love. And I mean, honestly, he can say
2:59
whatever the fuck he wants because he's gorgeous.
3:02
Thought he was pretty at. All.
3:04
Oh God, he is. Looks like he's got a cork of
3:06
his butt. I don't care.
3:08
He's got long, greasy hair. I don't care.
3:10
All of his characters are the same.
3:12
Well. No, you need to go back to like
3:15
the the older 90s like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure when
3:18
he was a kid or parenthood. Funny shit.
3:21
It's great classic. OK.
3:24
OK, I think that about the matrix is when he started going
3:27
and doing the same character. Yeah, it was good.
3:30
Yeah, he didn't have greasy hair and even if.
3:32
He didn't have any hair. No matrix it was.
3:35
He was bald. When he was outside of the yeah,
3:38
But when he was in the Matrix, he was.
3:40
He had hair. Yeah, he had that crew.
3:43
Because it is how you imagine yourself in the matrix.
3:47
He was a sexy motherfucker and he has a sexy ass body.
3:50
I don't fucking care. All right?
3:52
OK. You like Leonardo Leonardo's OK
3:55
to me. I like.
3:56
I know you do. I like the the big head.
3:58
Yeah, that big head and the broad body.
4:01
Now, when did you start getting into Leonardo?
4:03
Was it the Titanic? No, it was Blood Diamond.
4:06
OK, OK. Yeah.
4:08
He knew what he was doing, you know?
4:10
I've always loved Keanu. But he's still kind of bad guy
4:12
in there. I like the bad guy.
4:16
Yeah, You remember we were talking about crushes that one
4:18
time we did. You're like, oh, Reese
4:20
Witherspoon. I'm like, yeah, she's adorable.
4:23
But, you know, she's kind of built like Leonardo, you know?
4:25
They're both short. They're broader, little compact
4:28
with the big head. But it looks cute on her.
4:30
It looks handsome on him. Whatever works, but I'm just
4:33
saying the two of you are kind of going for the same like male,
4:35
female bodies. That's my point.
4:38
I also mind the lips to like Daniel official from Boy Meets
4:42
World Topanga. Oh yes.
4:45
Topanga I got to thinking about after I left and I was like how
4:48
dare I not mention her name on my my crush list cuz yeah that.
4:51
She's a beautiful girl. She yeah.
4:53
Don't you hate fake lips though? Yes.
4:56
If it looks like fake lips, definitely yeah.
4:59
I don't like fake lips. Yeah, as you can tell.
5:02
Well, my number one main crush doesn't fucking matter is
5:06
Marshall Mathers. I will fuck Eminem time and time
5:09
again, and I had a raunchy fucking dream with him in it
5:12
last night. Oh my.
5:13
God what? Give us details.
5:16
Oh my God, I don't mind telling you the details, PO.
5:18
It is. It was dirty, OK?
5:21
It was. We met.
5:22
I was doing a book signing. I was there.
5:25
He met me. He loved the podcast.
5:27
I met him. I was like, you know, you've
5:29
always been my hall pass. And he's like, oh, I'm totally
5:32
down with that. I like girls just like you.
5:35
And Needless to say, it was an all out oral fest of fun.
5:40
It was sucking and fucking and it was raunchy.
5:44
And he was like, you need to stay with me.
5:46
And then we kind of like, really hit it off and he didn't want me
5:50
to leave. And I'm like, you know, you can
5:52
move to Florida and my husband will still share me.
5:55
He'll be OK with it. And he's like, really?
5:58
He's like, I'm getting a condo in Florida.
6:00
I was like, oh God yes, because I could do that fucking all day
6:04
long. That's that's a good dream.
6:07
That's a good dream. I wasn't done yet, let me tell
6:10
you. The rest of it is we're in the
6:12
condo at the beach and it's a three-way with who?
6:15
With me in between Marshall Mathers and my husband.
6:18
Oh, nice. So I had two sexy men with two
6:22
hot bodies. Yeah, I'm just saying.
6:24
And Marshall Mathers, He was doing a pounding, it was
6:27
thought. You say like Halle Berry or
6:29
something. What you.
6:30
Always liked your little black? Girl, that was my.
6:32
That was his. He was.
6:34
Small black women. Well, I like little teeny.
6:38
Like small teeny, sure. Yeah, like, gosh, there was one
6:42
girl on a show back in the 90s, but honestly, I don't even
6:46
remember who it was. It was kind of moot to my point.
6:48
But do you? Remember I.
6:49
Don't remember. I don't remember.
6:51
I think it was like a different world.
6:53
It was, you know, like a Cosby thing.
6:55
Yeah, because she was like a little short, cute.
6:56
I love little black girls, don't get me wrong, But Marshall
7:00
Mathers #1 number one on my list.
7:02
Yeah, 100%. Sorry.
7:03
I just had to monopolize that for a moment because it was a
7:06
just a hot, dirty dream. And I woke up and I was like.
7:09
Do you think it's do you think it's just his looks or do you
7:12
think it's also that he has almost like a a Dom personality?
7:17
See, I I don't think he has a Dom personality.
7:19
I think that's a total persona. I think he really is submissive.
7:23
OK, Because he kept calling me, you know, Goddess in my dream.
7:29
OK, but like if he's if he's in the Eminem, you saw that yeah,
7:34
you don't find it as like a Dom personality.
7:36
I understand like The Marshall Mathers personality would not be
7:39
and you know they but as pure like Eminem Slim Shady Slim
7:44
Shady is. Like, he would still be on the
7:45
knees for a woman. He would just like to choke
7:47
sometimes. Yeah, I feel like he's like a
7:49
choker, but I feel like yeah, he would definitely be his.
7:52
I think he has some oral fixation too.
7:54
I really do. I think he'd be amazing at oral
7:56
sex. Like he kept begging me in my
7:58
dream. Go down on me, he.
8:00
Place it off the. Screen, I agree with you because
8:04
of the words that he has to manipulate to come out with all
8:06
those words, he probably would be pretty good at oral.
8:09
Yes, you think about. Yes.
8:11
Exactly. Exactly.
8:14
Rap God, he could do like Rap God on you down there.
8:18
That would probably be incredible for.
8:19
You. That sounds hot actually.
8:21
Thank you. But aside from my sexual
8:23
feelings on this man, I'm just saying if you look at him, I
8:27
think he has to. And I'm usually very good at
8:29
reading people, sectioning what they like.
8:31
I have to block it out for a lot of people that I really don't
8:34
want to see, like family members, for example.
8:37
I don't want to know they're kings.
8:38
So I kind of block that out. But with him, I can just always
8:42
see him on his knees as a very good submissive.
8:45
And that's that's how I envision him.
8:47
I don't see him as this dominant asshole male in bed.
8:50
I just don't see that. OK, OK.
8:52
I could, you know, I'll I'll to the master.
8:54
You know you would. You would know better than I
8:56
would. I mean, I, I've had hundreds of
8:58
hundreds of, you know, sex partners.
9:00
I'm I think I'm pretty good at coining this.
9:05
Hey, whatever, you're good. Something be the best at.
9:08
I was. Gonna say we're having rights
9:09
out there a little I guess. You're sure I'm?
9:11
Sure, yeah. I'll say a little girl.
9:15
All right, let's get back to her.
9:17
OK, yes, dating women. All right, well, Liv, go ahead.
9:21
Let's talk about some red flags with red flags.
9:24
Yes. Well I've noticed red flags
9:26
would be constantly deflecting and not wanting to hang out
9:30
because if you're into a guy you want to hang out with him and
9:32
you want to make plans with it immediately because you don't
9:34
want another girl coming out of the works for him.
9:36
So you like I will make plans with you right now and if I
9:38
don't, I'll make plans with you right now.
9:40
Even if the right now plans are for next week.
9:42
If I'm not making plans with you right now, it's not gonna
9:44
happen. Not gonna happen, OK.
9:46
Yeah. That's that's that.
9:47
Yeah, I can see that. Yeah, cuz no excuse is valid.
9:50
No excuse. Yeah, right.
9:51
If I want you, I'll make plans, even if it's from a month from
9:54
now, but it's gonna be a plan. OK, OK.
9:58
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.
10:01
Like I said, don't want somebody else to step in at the same time
10:04
that, you know, or if it is a competition, yeah, you want at
10:06
least be neck and neck with the other person and eventually come
10:10
out ahead. Yeah, I know I would.
10:14
With the sideways talk so Poe, you're going to at some point
10:18
cross that bridge into dating. Is there something that you
10:21
absolutely you have a red flag against?
10:24
You're like, I'm not doing it. I refuse.
10:26
I don't necessarily, I'll try anything once and if I like it,
10:29
I'll try it twice. But no, when it comes to like
10:32
dating, that type of thing, I mean, we all have our types
10:35
that, you know, that we look for.
10:37
And I have personality types more even than I do like visual
10:41
types. You know, I like somebody who's
10:43
who's goofy, who can, you know, laugh and that type of thing.
10:46
If you're just too serious or if I send a text to you and then
10:51
every time if you look at the text, you automatically think
10:53
it's like the most negative version.
10:54
It's not just being silly and goofy.
10:56
That would be one of my red flags.
10:59
You're right. It's why you know, why would I
11:01
send you a text to be like mean it's, it's we're joking, that
11:05
type of thing. But they look too far into it,
11:07
which is why I will go back and edit my any text message I send
11:11
at least 16 times to go. Is there any way that they can
11:14
view this as what other than I'm trying to say?
11:17
And I think, honestly, I think text messages can be
11:20
misconstrued. Absolutely all the.
11:22
Time. And that's why it's always
11:24
better to me just to talk. Call, Call, Yeah.
11:27
Like, hey, if you're. Gonna text text hey.
11:29
Are you free to call right? Boom.
11:31
I think that's always. Facetime's cool, too.
11:32
Yeah, when you're dating, definitely.
11:34
FaceTime you you iPhone users. But you got out there on
11:38
Android. Yeah, Yes, we do.
11:41
They're the best. It's green.
11:43
Oh, Green. That's OK, But we can, we can
11:46
like actually like download stuff and not to pay like
11:49
$16,000,000 to the same company. You can break them and download
11:54
all kinds of stuff on it so. There goes our iPhone and Apple
11:57
podcast. Sponsors the Galaxy, y'all got
12:02
us. Exactly.
12:04
All right. I think with women, if they lie
12:07
once, that's pretty much a no go.
12:08
I think that, you know, if they're going to lie about
12:10
something small, they'll lie about something big.
12:12
If they lie, they're willing to steal.
12:14
That's. Both sides too man 100%.
12:16
I feel like all these are going to be both ways.
12:18
Right. Absolutely.
12:19
Dating in general? Absolutely.
12:21
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense too.
12:23
You know what I always notice too is if you go out to eat, how
12:26
do they treat wait staff? Oh yes, how do they treat other
12:30
people? How do they?
12:30
Treat their mothers. How do they treat animals?
12:33
Animals. You know that's.
12:35
A big one. Or if it's a female, how do they
12:37
treat their dad? Yeah, you know, because that's
12:38
how daddy issues, you know they're going to be.
12:40
Well, and I think it is true a lot of times, you know, when you
12:43
date, you know, you can have a. How's.
12:48
Your relationship with your dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
12:51
yeah. You know, lovely pillow talk.
12:54
But yeah, he. Loved me.
12:56
When I was young. Perfect, you're in.
12:59
Exactly. Exactly.
13:02
I think too, another red flag is I hate and and my my girlfriends
13:07
would always talk about this. They were like, yeah, you know
13:10
when I went on the date I told him my ex-boyfriend did.
13:14
It's like, don't bring up your fucking ex-boyfriend.
13:16
What's wrong with you? Yeah, yeah.
13:19
Cuz then you're automatically in a competition and when you don't
13:21
need to be in one, yeah. Yeah, and they have a lot more
13:25
history with that other person. Yeah, you're not going to.
13:26
Win that, you've got no competition.
13:28
If they have the history. Absolutely, Absolutely.
13:31
All right, should we jump into green flags?
13:33
Green flags somebody who's very considerate, but not too
13:38
considerate where it's needy because that could be a red
13:40
flag. Very tiptoe line, but I would
13:43
say very considerate. Somebody who takes us back.
13:45
They don't just leave you on red or like they like, you know, be
13:49
consistent. I think consistency is really
13:51
it. Yeah, they have kids.
13:52
How they treat their kids. Oh, nice.
13:54
Like, that is huge. Absolutely.
13:56
I look at that dynamic between a mom and their kids and they
14:00
treat their kids a certain way. Yeah, that's that doesn't, you
14:03
know, doesn't work for me. How they treat their kids
14:06
parent. I think that's really important
14:08
too, yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.
14:12
But yeah, it's not a good dynamic hit.
14:15
Then that's who she's supposed they're supposed to, you know,
14:18
love the most and have that. Yeah, they yeah.
14:21
She's not treating them well. She's not going to treat you
14:22
well. Absolutely.
14:26
All right, other green flags. Let's see.
14:29
Oh goodness, what would be something really good?
14:37
Well, I know we're we're going to get into like the
14:39
personalities of people, but at the same time there's.
14:42
Like it's the red flag. Honesty, if you can tell they're
14:45
an honest person, definitely would be something.
14:47
No matter what happens, you know you could trust them.
14:49
How about someone with just goals that's always A+?
14:53
Like what they want to accomplish?
14:55
Hobbies. Their own hobbies, yes.
14:57
So they're not relying on your own, your hobbies.
15:00
Absolutely. So personalities of different
15:03
people. Wow.
15:05
I, I really, this goes back to a red flag, but I really had an
15:08
issue because I had two friends that I worked with all the time
15:12
and I considered them friends because, you know, we, we shared
15:15
common interests and we'd go out every so often, dinner,
15:18
whatever. But my biggest problem is that
15:21
they would stay with their significant others just for
15:24
financial gain. That is huge for me.
15:27
So of course, when I would say something like, are you going to
15:30
divorce them or are you going to leave them, you know, you're not
15:33
happy. No, I just don't want to do that
15:36
right this moment. So instead they would cheat.
15:39
Obviously, I did that. I definitely prolonged it.
15:43
Yeah. And I think it probably made it
15:45
hard on people because they were like you.
15:46
You talk so bad about it, why won't you leave them?
15:48
And I was like, I was scared. He was the only thing I knew.
15:51
Yeah. Well, once I did it, I was so
15:54
liberating. But you were so young though,
15:55
too. I think that's different than,
15:57
say, a woman in her 30s. You know that is different
16:00
because you're like, you should have your life together by now.
16:03
And that in society puts, you know, according to what, you
16:05
know, line you go, you know, the traditional value of no, the the
16:08
guy works and the girl stays at home with the kids.
16:11
Well, if that's happening, that means that you're not going to
16:14
be very financially well off as it is.
16:16
So you have no choice but to hang around with that person
16:19
until either a you can get back on your feet or save up a little
16:23
money And especially and say if you have kids.
16:26
Yeah, I don't. Especially young one.
16:27
Young kids, yeah, Yeah. So there's no way to do where
16:30
you got a job and paying for daycare right away?
16:33
No, my goodness, no. Daycare is crazy.
16:36
I don't have kids, but I know it's crazy.
16:38
No, it's astronomical. What's your whole paycheck?
16:41
Yeah, no, I've definitely had a manager at one point he was
16:44
like, yeah, we were, she was going to get a job and all that
16:45
kind of stuff, and I fully support it.
16:47
But then we looked at daycares and we're like, well, you'll be
16:50
making less. Money.
16:52
You know, in the long run, so he said, you know, I don't.
16:55
She wanted to really do it. We would.
16:56
But you know, it doesn't make financial sense to do that.
17:00
Now I did an episode with Evie last week and it's going to come
17:04
out before this episode, but it talks about men searching for
17:08
women to date, right? And so I really said, and one of
17:11
the on this episode specifically was that I think men and a lot
17:15
of women, I think I think they're willing to settle for
17:18
people instead of looking at the full picture.
17:20
Yes, like just settle for anybody that wants me or anybody
17:23
that likes me. And I think that really like my
17:27
friend. Oh my God, he literally he
17:30
thinks that anybody giving him attention is going to be the
17:32
one. And if it doesn't, then if it
17:33
doesn't fall through, then it's his.
17:35
He's got a problem. And then it's like it's not your
17:36
problem. He just wasn't the right.
17:37
Person that's sad. And he dates the wrong.
17:40
People, you're constantly blaming yourself or something
17:42
that. He gets a really bad.
17:43
Depression whatsoever, Yeah. These people are.
17:46
You're not even going for the right people.
17:48
Yeah, I tried doing the dating app for and I got bored.
17:51
Well, I think the, the things to look for, I mean, if we're going
17:54
to get superficial here for a moment, is when you're looking
17:57
at pictures of people. I always said, and I and I told
18:01
this to my nephew, I said look, if there's a woman and I'm
18:05
giving you the same advice, go on their Facebook, OK?
18:08
Listen. If there's a woman that you're
18:10
starting to talk to, go on her Facebook and if she puts
18:14
multiple selfies. You know, my nephew dated some
18:18
woman before and she took the same fucking picture of herself
18:23
at work in the woman's bathroom because she thought she looked
18:26
cute. Every fucking day, OK?
18:29
It's the same shit. Or of heavily filtered.
18:33
Pictures. Heavily filtered pictures.
18:35
Snapchat has gotten. Or pictures in the fucking car
18:39
every single fucking day. Look at my eyeshadow, look at my
18:43
hair. Look at this, look at OK, those
18:46
are attention sinking hoes. They will.
18:49
Cheat on you they. Will cheat on you.
18:51
They will fucking drain the life out of you, OK?
18:53
OK. So if women are taking multiple
18:56
selfies, run. OK, don't walk.
18:58
Run. Alright, well if any attention
19:00
seeking hoes want to come out out two weeks, I can give you a
19:03
shot. You know, I'm just saying I'm,
19:06
I'm not as strict as these. Ladies.
19:10
I love that. You're versatile.
19:12
I love it. I'm just saying, you know?
19:14
He's like you. Gotta keep your options open,
19:16
yeah? Don't close all the doors.
19:18
Exactly. At least we leave a window open
19:20
if you do. Well, you know, some guys too.
19:24
Guys are not very particular, but I've seen this in women too.
19:28
There, there's a picture floating around where this girl
19:31
did a selfie, and she actually has her toilet seat open in the
19:35
picture. Yes, yes.
19:37
And you see everything that's in the toilet.
19:40
Yeah, it's disgusting. But I'm saying when you're
19:43
taking pictures of yourself, you have to.
19:45
Look at your background. You do.
19:46
You do. Yeah, you do.
19:48
Yeah. I, I've taken a couple of, you
19:51
know, photos and, you know, angle to the camera just the
19:54
right way because my bathroom sink was like, full of just, you
19:57
know, hair products and all that kind of stuff.
19:59
And, like, I don't think I'm a little nasty little bitch.
20:01
Come on. We're going to take some good
20:05
pictures of him there When? Everybody I've seen some of the
20:07
pictures that y'all take. I'm act.
20:08
That's thing I'm most excited about.
20:10
Awesome. Like I want to get nice
20:11
pictures. Yeah, we'll gladly do that.
20:14
Let's see. But types of personalities with
20:17
women, that is a big red flag, as you know, being superficial.
20:21
I think there's there's things about a woman that it's good
20:24
that she dresses really well every day in a sense.
20:28
But if she puts so much effort into being materialistic and
20:32
spending a ton of money on everything with her nails all
20:36
the time, with jewelry, with everything and always looking
20:39
perfect, either she can really afford it or she can't and she
20:42
lives beyond her means. So it's one thing to treat
20:45
yourself, to get your nails done, you know, once or twice a
20:47
month when you need a fill, But it's another thing that they're
20:51
so consistent with it, so it makes you think, OK, how vain
20:54
are they? How much money do they have to
20:56
afford it? And are they living beyond their
20:59
means on credit cards? Or do they have only fans?
21:02
No, there you go, only fans for. And I'm one of those weird ones.
21:06
I, I, I love the dolled up look whenever you, you know, we're
21:09
going out to a fancy restaurant, all that kind of stuff.
21:12
But much preferred, just a natural look, just whenever you
21:15
know, sitting around and not do anything.
21:17
You don't gotta impress me at that point.
21:19
If I'm with you and I like you for you, you don't have to.
21:22
You know I. Think you should still impress
21:23
your person? But at that point, do you need
21:25
to impress me? By the looks?
21:26
No. Just sometimes, every now and
21:28
then, five things that little lingerie or well.
21:30
Sure, sure. Date go on a date and.
21:33
Get it? Yeah.
21:34
That's something. If you're going out, you know,
21:35
into town, that kind of stuff, then yeah, get all gussied up,
21:39
you know, just like I would expect myself to do.
21:41
But you're just sitting around, you know, I like that.
21:43
First wake up in the morning, natural.
21:46
On the cheek. Yes, all that.
21:48
Yeah, exactly, exactly. You know there's a certain
21:53
genetic qua in that. Nice.
21:55
So when you start dating a woman, you're going to go out
21:58
with her a few times and whatever, and when you have her
22:00
back to your house at some point now, if she starts making effort
22:04
to like set your table for you or just dive in to actually do
22:09
those things, nest, building the nest.
22:11
If she starts building the nest at your house, she likes you.
22:15
When she stops building the nest, she's no longer interested
22:18
in you. And she'll stick around.
22:19
But she'll wait to just kind of like, see, is it gonna work?
22:22
Is it gonna happen? And she starts slowly, not
22:24
building the nest. You know it's not gonna work.
22:25
Interesting. Just.
22:26
Go ahead and cut her off. See, these are these are good
22:28
things. Yeah, I didn't notice.
22:30
I didn't notice about myself until I started dating and I
22:33
started realizing, oh, I'm a I'm gonna paint your walls.
22:35
I got so excited about building a nest essentially in the house.
22:39
And then eventually if I stopped liking them, I literally would
22:42
stop but still hang around. It was weird.
22:43
It was like I literally watched myself go through.
22:45
That no that's very interesting because I I dated a girl that
22:48
like I would leave a pair of shorts there or something and
22:51
she would like spaz out because she like no, don't don't don't
22:55
leave your stuff here not not even if she didn't Yeah, yeah.
22:57
And that makes perfect sense now that you're saying, you know,
23:00
she. Didn't want you building your.
23:01
Nest over there. Yeah, that's very interesting.
23:03
She wants other people to be there.
23:05
It's interesting, yeah. I've never even thought about
23:08
it. And that's the thing too, if
23:10
women if when they're dating like that, I'm like Liv, if
23:14
they're putting effort to make something comfortable for you in
23:17
their home, You know, when I first got married and my husband
23:20
Morehouse, I packed up a huge car, full trunk full of all this
23:25
stuff to make his house that he was staying at homey.
23:28
So if they make all that effort, when it's mutual effort, that's
23:33
when you know she's the right person for you.
23:36
But if she's not making 100% effort to make you more
23:39
comfortable, it's time to let her go.
23:42
That's a natural thing a woman should do anyways.
23:44
Yeah, that's really what we are to do.
23:46
Yeah. So when we start doing that,
23:48
we're in our national. Yeah.
23:49
Agreed. And then if it's not
23:50
reciprocated, you stop, right? If I'm not getting the man that
23:53
I was intended to get, then it's just going to, I'm not going to
23:55
be that person for you anymore, right?
23:57
You know, a lot of people come to us for a reason.
23:59
The guys that have been there in relationships, right?
24:03
And they'll complain in this oh you know my wife isn't in the
24:05
BDS sound. Well here's the thing.
24:08
How much effort are you putting in the relationship in the 1st
24:11
place? Why is she not into BDSM?
24:14
Well, women respond with the gratifying man who is willing to
24:19
give them, you know, their needs.
24:21
So if you meet a woman's needs and you satisfy their happiness,
24:25
then they will give it twofold if they don't.
24:27
Just like you give your seed, they make a baby.
24:30
Yes, you give your efforts. They make it like you give them
24:33
like you have the they give you a home, you know, like right,
24:36
it's like they they. Constant reciprocation, yeah.
24:39
They're multipliers are not multipliers.
24:41
Oh, I know what you're saying. It's a biblical term.
24:43
Yeah, I'm glad you want to throw religion in here.
24:48
Yeah. Be fruitful to multiply.
24:51
Yeah, but I mean. It's the same concept.
24:53
But yes. But it's, it's just a mutual
24:56
understanding that if, if you are giving your woman the
24:59
gratification that she needs for something specific, then she's
25:02
going to do the same thing for you twofold.
25:05
And so that's what Liv is saying, you know, build a home.
25:09
You know, she will build a house, she'll make it a home,
25:13
that kind of thing. It's the same concept.
25:15
So when men come to the dungeon and they're married and they're
25:18
just like, Oh yeah, my wife's not into this blah, blah, blah.
25:21
Well, a lot of wives probably don't want to fuck their dude
25:23
with strap on. I get it.
25:25
Or a lot of women don't want to cross dress their husbands, I
25:28
get it. But if they did something for
25:32
their wife in a sense that made them completely happy.
25:35
So I have this one crossdresser and he basically wants to be a
25:39
cuckold and he, he's never told his wife this, he's never been
25:42
honest with her. And I think that's what he's not
25:45
doing. He would rather make his wife
25:47
feel like shit and want her to cheat on her own with him.
25:51
He's not being open. He's not giving her an intimate
25:55
level of communication. But I think that's the point.
25:58
When you don't have an emotional connection, it makes
26:01
relationships very, very difficult.
26:02
We're talking about women dating either way for either sex
26:06
because Evie and I did that last episode.
26:08
It'll be posting this week as well.
26:10
Is it really off putting when women bring up their past
26:13
relationships though? Yeah, it, it can be because you
26:16
feel like you're being compared, you know?
26:19
Yeah, I mean it, it really probably is because, you know,
26:22
you're trying to get to know the the person, you're trying to get
26:24
to know them for them. And then you throw out, you
26:26
know, this is what they used to do or, you know, and then like I
26:29
said, you're being compared or you have to match that energy or
26:32
something of that nature. And it's just, don't you want to
26:34
know me and not think about that?
26:37
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
26:38
And a lot of people make that that same mistake with, you
26:41
know, bringing up the past and, and what people like and what
26:43
they don't like and the types of relationships and how or why it
26:47
didn't work. You know, I mean, there's a
26:49
reason why it didn't work. Ultimately, this is the nitty
26:51
gritty. We've already cut into 30
26:53
minutes of this, but we're going to wrap it up with our last.
26:57
This is kind of funny. We, you know, we have bullet
26:59
points we put on a board in front of us that we really have
27:02
to cover. And so we had Poe write them
27:05
down and, and Liv and I are going back and forth and all
27:08
three of us are like, okay, what about for women dating?
27:11
What do we really need to have them aware of?
27:14
And the last thing is hygiene. Yes.
27:18
It's very important. I didn't ask for both though a
27:22
few shows stinky. Like you could just be like hey,
27:26
I'm not feeling well if it's something you can't really help
27:29
right you know? But otherwise, clean that shit.
27:32
All right, well, I'm going to throw this out.
27:34
So the other day the three of us were part of a very interesting
27:38
situation. Who?
27:42
Knows what I'm talking about. Talking about tumbleweed.
27:44
We are talking about tumbleweed. So we had a gentleman that came,
27:49
oh, he had the double mustache over his genitals.
27:55
He had came to the dungeon a few months back, and it was one of
28:00
the first people you had seen almost a year ago when you first
28:03
came. And you were just like, oh, he's
28:05
so nice. And, you know, he's so
28:07
attractive and very sweet. And I'm like, yeah, but look at
28:10
that fucking Bush he's got. And I think, you know, people
28:14
getting stuck in a relationship and they don't want to continue
28:18
with their personal grooming. Yeah.
28:20
And so he calls and he's like, so Mistress Mia, do you think
28:24
you can shave it? I'm like, yeah, I'm going to
28:26
whip out the fucking dog groomer because you're a fucking dog and
28:30
I'm going to shave it off. And I said then PO was going to
28:34
blow you with the blower and Liv's going to laugh at you and
28:38
take pictures. It was pretty.
28:41
It was pretty interesting process.
28:45
He finally got to blow a man. I no, I told you that with my
28:47
red that I would never blow a man, but since it was with the,
28:51
you know the blower. Electric blower.
28:53
I'm gonna give it a pass. It was legit, you know he was.
28:57
A grower, not a shower. Yeah, his little weenie he
29:01
likes. But it it went, it was just
29:03
going and going. I'm like, Jesus, how much can I
29:05
go? You know what's sad is though,
29:07
with somebody who has an annoying personality with a nice
29:11
penis. Yeah, it's wasted.
29:13
It is wasted and he was annoying and I wanted to punch him.
29:17
I don't think he was annoying, but he definitely was something
29:19
so. Well, you know, you had to come
29:22
get me. I was getting ready to get in
29:23
the shower and he immediately starts saying sexually
29:26
inappropriate things to you and and I was like, did you tell him
29:31
we're not hookers and he needs to respect that?
29:33
And so I go down there and I'm like, well, Liv had to come get
29:38
me right before I got in the shower and it was because of
29:41
you. So of course I pretty seated to
29:43
spit on him and I've chugging my water in front of him and then,
29:47
you know, spitting water on him. But I'm like, you're fucking
29:50
pathetic. Why would you stand here and
29:52
make sexual innuendos a request to Madam Liv?
29:55
She is a dominatrix. She's not a hooker.
29:58
He's like, I'm really sorry about that.
29:59
And of course he's got a big dog mask on, which makes you laugh
30:03
harder. But then we just tortured him
30:06
the rest of the time. I mean, and we were really
30:07
getting out our aggression, like Liv was putting heavy weights on
30:11
his nipples and. You had tied his balls up, so
30:14
they were like really tight. So it's really hard to get any
30:17
skin. Yeah, cool.
30:21
I smacked with a spoon. He's like, don't leave any mugs.
30:24
It was like big old red it looked.
30:26
Like a big ringworm is what it was.
30:27
Like nobody's not thinking you had sex with anybody.
30:29
You fell down the stairs, you little bitch.
30:30
That's it, I said your your wife's going to think you have
30:32
ringworm. We're doing her a favor because
30:35
she's not going to. Want to you got to shave your
30:36
hairs because you have ringworm? Exactly, and that's why I told.
30:39
Him. I like it.
30:40
I like it. That's believable.
30:43
Humiliated more outside when we made him spread his ass and
30:47
we're like oh Oh yeah we always. Yeah, yeah.
30:53
That was a That was a sight to behold.
30:55
That really was. Like, yeah, Whoopi Goldberg back
30:59
there, just all the hair, like spreading out.
31:01
It was. Yeah, it was.
31:03
That was the only thing here he left on his body was just.
31:05
Ass crack. That's Whoopi Goldberg's dreads.
31:08
Coming out, that's exactly it. That's exactly it.
31:10
Like Whoopi Goldberg in a headlock, you know, down between
31:13
her ass cheeks. You know, it's it was, you will
31:16
be. But yeah.
31:20
That's hilarious. That was gross.
31:23
But but yeah, what was really funny too, PO, you didn't see
31:26
this part, but we're in the dungeon and I said, do you know
31:30
what boss Gianato is? And he's like, no, Liv says,
31:35
well, you're getting ready to find out.
31:37
She's like, put your foot up. She starts hitting him with the
31:40
with the bamboo stick and, and of course, he's like 00.
31:44
And I said, hey, you're the one who said not to leave marks.
31:47
Your wife is not going to look under the bottoms of your feet.
31:50
Very I'm very wise. I I like that strategy exactly.
31:54
Still give him what you paid for, but you know, we're just
31:57
doing in a little secretive way. And then every time he walks he
32:00
be reminded of why he has those marks.
32:03
Yes, and why he's a fucking loser.
32:07
He loved it. He did love it.
32:09
He loved it. Shave your asshole.
32:10
Shave your asshole. Yeah, get in there.
32:13
You know, just Justin came to see me yesterday and Justin says
32:20
I was mowing the yard the other day, mistress and and I heard
32:24
you, you talked about me and and how I shaved my face and I need
32:28
to shave and go to the hair salon and and of course, you
32:32
know, I'm telling him I'm like, you got the shave that fucking
32:34
pussy hair off your face. You're fucking pathetic pig.
32:37
And he's like, I loved it so. Have you heard him?
32:41
Have you met him? I have not met.
32:43
Him. He's got the cutest little
32:45
giggle. He does have a.
32:46
Cute giggle. No.
32:47
I've heard many, many of stories on the on the cast about it, but
32:50
I've not not met him. Yeah.
32:52
He has been on the podcast but not talking.
32:55
Correct. They're rubbing her feet poorly.
32:59
He sucks and rubbing feet. It is so bad and you'll tell him
33:03
like you do it so bad and he'll laugh and continue.
33:08
That was the one that you said he would all of a sudden get in
33:10
the conversation and kind of slap your foot, yes.
33:12
'Cause he's talking with his. Hands, yeah.
33:15
I'm like, I'm going to punch you in the fucking nuts when you do
33:18
that. What nuts?
33:20
Yeah, well, no. What penis?
33:23
Just say that. Well, that's our inside of this
33:25
nuts. Pull them things out.
33:27
That's called ovaries. Justin, you have ovaries, you
33:33
little bitch. I learned about this in an
33:35
anatomy. I know this.
33:37
It. Was.
33:38
So funny, one day we went in the dungeon and we were all like
33:42
trying to fit him for a chastity.
33:45
And, you know, Charles was trying to give us advice on it,
33:47
you know, and finally Liv's like, Oh no, I got the the
33:52
chastity. So she pulls one out of the
33:54
cabinet and he's like, Madame Liv, would you help me?
33:58
I'm like, you need Liv to pull your testicles out of your body.
34:03
He's like, I don't know how she does it.
34:07
How do you do it? You know when you have an Audi
34:11
belly button? Yeah, you push on the outer skin
34:14
and it pokes out a little bit more.
34:15
OK. That's kind of what it was.
34:17
OK. He has a man pussy pouch.
34:22
Yes, and that sound is where his ovaries are, so she has to reach
34:26
up and pull. His ovaries.
34:28
Down. And they, they fight with me.
34:30
They want to stay in his body. Too.
34:32
They do. They're like, Oh no, we want to
34:34
be a woman. And I said yes, you're a Sissy.
34:37
Fat. Oh, we miss you, Justin.
34:41
Yes, I'm back with you with. Justin, wash your ass.
34:49
So it's been so fucking fun and PO, we get you for the whole
34:53
summer if you can tolerate us. Hi, I'm here.
34:56
Let's do it. This is going to be fun, and
34:59
honestly, the next episode we're going to talk about I've got a
35:02
fabulous fucking story. You're going to love it.
35:04
Nice. You know you're going to close
35:05
this out today, right? I would love to.
35:07
Perfect. All right, so PO.
35:11
Until then, this has been the latest episode of.
35:13
Call me Mistress.