Latest / The Rooted Family / Ep 18 | 3 Summer Rhythms That Matter More Than Your Bucket List
Transcript
- Christian Cornish: Can I ask you something? When was the last time you actually felt at peace? Not just productive, not just caught up, but settled. Because most of us aren't lacking desire for a slower, deeper life, we're just stuck in the busyness that keeps us rushing right past it. This time of year, social media is full of summer bucket lists. Like 100 things to do this summer, 25 making activities, or even an ultimate family ⁓ summer we ⁓ really actually love a summer bucket list. ⁓ We've made them ourselves, but after raising seven we've discovered something surprising. ⁓ The most meaningful parts summer are And if you're listening to this and thinking, that sounds great, but I don't even know where to start. We actually created a free resource to help with exactly that. It's called our summer lunch meal plan guide, and it's designed to help you take the guesswork out of summer lunches. We put together simple meal ideas, planning inspiration, and a framework to help you create a lunch rhythm that works for your family. You can grab it for free in the show notes. That's why we created the Slow and Savor Society. It's a snail mail club. Yes, it comes straight to your mailbox. It's a simple, tangible way to slow down each month with a piece of art, a cozy recipe, and a letter designed to help you reconnect with what actually ⁓ God, with your family, and with your own soul. if your life has felt full, usually aren't the things on the bucket list. Yeah, the zoo trips matter, the camping trip matters, the vacation matters, but those moments only really make up a tiny percentage of summer. The other ninety-five percent well that's just ordinary life. It's breaking bread around the table, afternoons at home, conversations on the porch, kids playing in the backyard, we know firsthand that when lunch has a plan, the entire day feels more peaceful. if the lunch rhythm we talked about today stood out to you, we have a free summer lunch meal plan guide that we love to give to you. It's packed with simple lunch ideas and practical planning, help to make summer meals easier and more enjoyable. You can download it through the link in the show notes. but not meaningful. This is your invitation to begin again. You can learn more or join us at legacyrootsco.com slash Mel Club. And right now, if you use Code Podcast, you'll get 50 % off your first month so you can try it out. Now back to the episode. And we've discovered that what shapes a family summer most isn't special events. It's actually the atmosphere the home between those events. ⁓ Yeah, I find this to be almost not what you would expect. Sometimes the smallest rhythms create the biggest changes, and this is a simple place to start. Because I think we all as parents go gung-ho into summer thinking we're gonna make this the best summer yet. And you it is pretty special to pull out the giant poster board and put up the park challenge. You're gonna all the different parks for the summer or you know, the fun things that you're gonna go do as a family or getting ice cream and all these different things. And ⁓ I think those are good things. We're actually encouraging you to make a bucket list because it ⁓ it is really fun. But remember as a kid, summer just felt you have these great memories and playing with your friends and the things you used to do, you know, the adventures you used have, just running your neighborhood. There was so much time and space for that. Yeah. and maybe it was because we didn't have all the technology that have today, but it felt like summer just most of the time was us making up fun things to do in these long hot days. It wasn't like my parents were trying to entertain me every single moment. or every single day of the week. For the most part, I mean, they were doing their own things that they needed to get done, like normal life. But for us kids, it was the best time ever because we had no schoolwork and we could be with our friends and the neighbor kids all day long the lights came on And so I think that we almost our kids can have a really good summer ⁓ without us trying to plan a million fun activities for them. Yeah. We can create freedom and opportunity. sometimes when we create the bucket list, we kind of dread leading up to the special event because didn't actually think about the regular daily life. if you leave for a big summer vacation for one week, you still have eleven other weeks of summer. To do and to live and have so much opportunity still for connection and fun and together. ⁓ And we go from bucket list item to bucket list item and we forget all those other weeks in there. Mm-hmm. But when comes to the culture of our home. It really comes down to the rhythm that each family has or the lack of rhythms. comes down to what kind of culture are we creating. And summertime a prime opportunity to build ⁓ culture in the home. Because the year it is ⁓ so busy. So many activities and and 4 H. ⁓ And music lessons, and then you got all the church responsibilities, and it just feels so full. Whereas summer, if we can do summer well, where we have a little bit more laid back approach instead of going crazy and trying to fit in everything, I think summer gives us the best time to build our Because we're together more. we have these ⁓ of intentionality that we can do something with ⁓ it can get wasted away in front of a screen. And don't that. We wanna have an intentional home and an intentional culture in our family that really will create that foundation for them ⁓ and the foundational memories they have. ⁓ And when they grow and they have their own families. They'll intentionally create a culture in their home because that's what was modeled for them. Yeah. So I think a good place to start with summer and summer rhythms is asking yourself the question, ⁓ what do you want this summer to look like? And how do you want kids to remember this summer, ⁓ And maybe put some words to it. What are some words that you would use to describe the summer like for you? What are you hoping the summer looks like for our family? I want the summer to intentional ⁓ connection. We've talked about some rhythms we could have throughout the week that we don't normally have the opportunity to have throughout the school year. Things like fishing is a great example, taking a day of the week to go up to the lake. by our house enjoy some intentional moments ⁓ are easier to prepare for because we don't have all the school stuff happening throughout the day. Mm-hmm. And a little more freedom at night 'cause we don't have to be home by a certain time that we normally do throughout week. Totally. How about for you? Yeah, the word that keeps coming up for me is slow. I'm all about slow. If you've been following us for even a short amount of time, you know that we are all about helping believers slow down their lives to experience more. And so we already live, I think, probably a slower life than most. But there's something about summer that seems to feel like it just escapes us as adults. ⁓ Like already the the beginning of June. And before we know it, we're gonna be shopping for school supplies and school clothes. And we're gonna feel like summer is gone. So I think that when I think about slow, I think about after dinner when we're all sitting on the back porch watching the sun go down. some of us are swinging and the hammock swings, some of us are ⁓ sitting the little propane fire. Some of the kids are, playing out in the yard or doing some sort of, ⁓ you know, dance, like group dance and singing. It's really cute. But And before we know it, we're gonna be shopping for school supplies and school clothes. And we're gonna feel like summer is gone. So I think that when I think about slow, I think about after dinner when we're all sitting on the back porch watching the sun go down. You know, some of us are swinging and the hammock swings, some of us are sitting by the little propane fire. Some of the kids are, playing out in the yard or doing some sort of, ⁓ you know, like a group dance and singing. It's really cute. But I think about us just kind of wasting away the evenings, which in all reality, it's not wasted time. It's actually very beautiful, sacred time. And when we look at it that way, we will realize that we don't have to fill every moment of every day with a special type of activity or entertainment for the kids. I think about us just kind of wasting away the evenings, which in all reality, it's not wasted time. It's actually very beautiful, sacred time. And we look at it that way, we will realize that we don't have to fill every moment ⁓ every day with a special type of activity or entertainment for the kids. Sometimes the the sweetest moments really are the non ⁓ time just time together as a family without really any plans. Sometimes the the sweetest moments really are the non ⁓ time just time together as a family without really any plans. Yeah. And today's episode, I think we really in on we can help you get there. And we're gonna share a few rhythms that help our family in the ordinary part of life, but they create these Opportunities for these moments that we're talking about. Because we want to do those things, but we also then have to feel like we can arrive at those moments with peace and joy. And every day a lot of the same challenges. So we want to overcome those with you today so that we give you the ⁓ opportunity to create summer that you want to have. so we're not gonna tell you to throw away your summer bucket list. Go ahead and make that because that's special and fun. ⁓ today we're gonna give you three rhythms that will help you build that foundation in between the exciting memories ⁓ on your bucket ⁓ Before we jump in, we want to read one of your reviews because these truly encourage us. And we'd love for you to leave a review. Go to the podcast app you're listening on right now. ⁓ Drop five stars in that review. it us grow. It helps others' families find us and discover us and learn these rhythms as well. we did do an Amazon gift card challenge last month, ⁓ in the month of May twenty twenty six. ⁓ For anyone that left us a five star review. And our winner is username Seeds of Truth. So if you wrote the review, you are Seeds of Truth, Email us at info at deeply rooted legacy dot com to claim your gift card and we are so grateful for you. Here is Seeds of Truth Review. Christian and Kayla Cornish share practical rhythms and wisdom that will support your family in growing deeper in your relationship with Christ. This podcast feels like the Cornish family is welcoming you to take a seat at their kitchen table. Thank you for saving me a seat and I can't wait to go on this journey with you both. Yeah, thank you so much for taking the time to leave that review. that really means a lot that you would say that it feels like you're sitting at our kitchen table with us because that's definitely ⁓ we want to communicate this podcast. We really want every listener to feel like they're just sitting right here with us, having a cup of coffee and being a part of the conversation. so thank you for taking the time to leave that review. ⁓ And we look to hearing from more of you as you listen to podcast. let's dive in and talk about the three summer rhythms that have made the biggest difference for our family. ⁓ that first is the summer ⁓ rhythm. It's ⁓ funny because this like what? Like this is what we're talking about? But it happens ⁓ one every single day. of all, there's not a day you don't eat lunch. Second of all, there's not A day that goes by that somebody's not driving you crazy lunch and what are we having? And you're like, dude, chill out. It is 9 45. Like can I get through the morning? Can you do a snack? Can I have a snack, please? Can we get through the morning? Like I I am trying to work right now. Yeah. You know, for those of us who work for home and have kids at home. so ⁓ it become a stressor. Yeah. Don't have a plan. ⁓ When things are kind of wonky or whenever they wanna happen it just doesn't lead to joy because no knows what to expect when you don't have a solid rhythm. Well, and let's be real, if you have all your kids home for the summer, you know that by noon you have already ⁓ made like couple dozen you know, or more, or you've heard the questions or the same complaints. Over and over and over again, like I'm bored, I have nothing to do. Can I have a snack? Mom, she took my toy. And it's literally nonstop. so I think ⁓ is feeling the tension of being home by lunchtime. And then you're hangry ⁓ the kids have been playing out in the sun and they're coming in, they're hot and sweaty. ⁓ we don't have a plan for summer lunch. ⁓ It just kind of creates this psychotic time of day. Every day. Every day. And isn't the definition of psychotic or being psychotic is like doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result? That's very fair. Yeah. And with kids, kids are just hungry. Well, they're always hungry. And they're used to things predictable. The more predictable something is, the less ⁓ going to bother about it. It's so true. They just know what to expect. There's a lot of science around this that kids really thrive with structure ⁓ and rhythm and routine. ⁓ is not just us, know, preaching on this because we think it's a cool idea. ⁓ I mean, we come to table here with Definitely practical experience, lots of years of experience doing rhythms. But kids really do love knowing to expect. I think even adults. I agree. Us as adults, I think that a lot of us thrive when we have almost the same thing, the same time of day that we're gonna eat lunch by, or we know kind of the general same things that we look forward to eating at lunchtime. ⁓ we like having ⁓ rhythms for ⁓ Yeah, we really do. What would you say you've noticed what happens our home when we have this plan rhythm in place versus when we haven't it in the past I feel like it's the same thing ⁓ as not having a dinner especially when kids are home, because well, we have seven children. So feeding seven kids, ⁓ nine of us total. at each meal, that is not an easy feat. It's not like I can just be like, hey, what are we gonna make? And now I have ingredients to make enough food. We really have to plan ahead. But it's the same thing with dinner. If you don't have a plan, your brain is fried. You don't want to take time in that moment to dig through the cupboard, to dig through the fridge, hoping and praying you have enough leftovers to feed everybody. And I know that for us in the summertime, because when they're all home all day, really makes the day feel so much more peaceful when I can just say, all right, Mondays we're having, egg salad, Tuesdays we're having quesadillas, Wednesday, know, we're having this. Having a plan or a structure of some kind helps the rest of the day flow so much smoother and makes the summer days feel more enjoyable. I think from my perspective, I work from home now, so lunch is a break. But if I need a from my I'm not gonna have a great afternoon. ⁓ That's such a good way to put it. I'm have a very frustrating and unproductive. ⁓ I can't go back needing a break for my break. That's not how life unfortunately gets to work. I think that we all as parents have the opportunity to make ⁓ different parts our day enjoyable for the family. some ideas that come to mind that are not food related could you have a rhythm around a summer picnic? Maybe you're eating outside every day already. or maybe bring in an extra treat that you don't normally do. Perhaps you could include popsicles with every lunch, ⁓ those little pops that you put in freezer and you cut the little top off and then you save some of the juice at the end to drink that down. ⁓ Or is that just me? ⁓ Do you like that too? ⁓ Saving the at the end of your I used to do that a kid a hundred percent. ⁓ You still do that as an adult. I do. It's like what makes those are the summer memories that I'm talking about. you know the feeling of summer when you think of juicy watermelon on the back porch, pulling the things off the cob, the corn and the cob. The husk? The husk. I'm from Iowa. It's fine. I know what they're called. ⁓ mean, there's all these little fun things, but what I'm getting at is could you make summer lunch? One of those things that your kids look back on when they're older and say, ⁓ I loved summer lunch because my mom she always had a popsicle waiting for us when we were done. I'm just trying to think of how could you make it an enjoyable rhythm and it's not just about trying to get food on the table, trying to get cleaned up and then on with the rest of your day? Mm-hmm. I think we've done a lot of things with meal planning. what have been some of your favorite strategies that you've 'cause you've tried many strategies. Yeah. ⁓ I would definitely say categories work really good for the summer lunch planning rhythm because in all reality, summer really isn't that long. planning meals. ⁓ So you simply a category for day of the week. I shared earlier, maybe it's quesadillas on Monday, it's ⁓ tacos on Tuesday, waffles on Wednesday. ⁓ You have category and maybe you're changing it in the category, ⁓ but your kids won't get sick of that. You do that for six to eight weeks and then they're back in school. Even if you're homeschooling, you can change up your categories for the school year. Yeah, I wouldn't say do like a whole week of peanut butter and jelly and then a whole week of pizza. I mean, you would like the whole week of pizza. And maybe the peanut butter and jelly. But other people don't necessarily appreciate that, you know. But if you do it ⁓ like every you do this and every Tuesday you do this, ⁓ and you of change it up. It really does a difference and they won't get sick of it. maybe lunchtime could be the time where you're reading to your kids a a chapter book. ⁓ could be pull out the Bible and you're reading through some psalms. ⁓ could really think of some unique ways to make the lunchtime rhythm ⁓ a special moment. Yeah, and it make it more fun for everyone. Mm-hmm. ⁓ And if you don't have kids Or if you are working of the home. So let's say your kids are going to summer camps and you're going to work still. ⁓ you really have a lunchtime with your kids, ⁓ think about what you do to make your summer lunch rhythm more enjoyable for you. I mean, the sun is shining most days for us here, at least in Colorado. ⁓ The weather is could you go on a walk? every day for lunch and that's your summer rhythm. I think all of us listening, it's just about how can you think about summer lunchtime ⁓ in an intentional way. I think a peaceful summer isn't just created by ⁓ removing stress. ⁓ It's also created by making room for ⁓ rest. ⁓ So this leads us into our next rhythm. Which is having a very intentional rest rhythm this summer, ⁓ there are many different rest rhythms you could do. ⁓ But the that we really wanted to share about today is the quiet time rhythm. And we have done a whole episode ⁓ on this rhythm and how we do it, the strategy behind it, and the importance of in episode 12. So go check that out. It's called the Daily Reset Your Family Might Be Missing. ⁓ And so we're not gonna spend too much time on it today, but we will give you a high level of this rhythm is and why do it ⁓ and maybe few ways to do it for your family this summer. Yeah, what this rhythm is is truly quiet time. It's ⁓ set aside hours in the afternoon where it's screen free and we encourage kids to do an activity usually themselves. ⁓ just to have a little space, especially in our home with a lot of people. And some of them are introverted and some of them are a little more high energy extroverted. but everybody needs space. I think it's even more important in the summertime when most of us have all of our children home. unless you're full homeschooling parent, the summer really is a different time because if your kids are going to school, the siblings are not home together all day. So it's kind of an adjustment for everybody to have everyone home all day, every day. I do think that making a rule, so to speak, around individual time on ⁓ during quiet is very effective in life-giving, actually. Yeah, I agree. It really does matter. No one ever comes out of quiet time like disappointed or mad or cranky ⁓ the things you're trying to combat throughout the day ⁓ when home and in the same space and not really getting away from each other too much, it really they come out of this quiet time truly reset ⁓ and ready to each other ⁓ and they've had little bit of space. Yeah, it's so true. ⁓ been doing this rhythm since our first, our oldest, now 12, but we've been doing this since she was a baby. ⁓ Ever since we got the rhythm of babies taking naps, we just never ⁓ got out of that. We just said, All ⁓ we're gonna always have peaceful, quiet afternoon. ⁓ Now, granted, we do have littles in the house, we still have a baby and we have toddlers, and so it is helpful. ⁓ To have a quiet afternoon because we're respecting the littles that are napping. But even for our older kids, this is a rhythm that we still require of them. And we will, as long as they're living in our home, I think we'll always do this. Cause even as adults, ⁓ value having a peaceful, quiet ⁓ ⁓ it's somewhat kind of selfish, I guess. But ⁓ a way, it's not because I want to be my best for my kids. And if I'm ⁓ chaos, constant bickering and fighting, you know, all day long, morning to night, and not get a break from it. I can see why some moms go or dads go crazy. Yeah. I If you don't get a break. Yes. And it's not a punishment. We're really training our kids. we're just training them to rest or ⁓ take time reflect also it's challenging them to be ⁓ and to independent, to come up with an idea and You know, yeah, sometimes there's frustration, sometimes there's a little like, ⁓ do we really have to be quiet right now? But give it a few minutes on the other side of that complaint is the breakthrough. And I mean, really, who's the parent in this situation when it comes to quiet time? I've heard a lot of parents just say, like, well, my kids refuse to nap. Well, honestly, you're kind of letting them refuse to nap. At the end of the day, If your kids are saying they don't want to nap and that's the reason you're not doing a quiet time, we allow our kids to ⁓ rule the house ⁓ if we don't hold up boundaries. We have to choose things ⁓ for ⁓ that are healthy that they wouldn't choose on their own. Yeah, their kids. They're not going to put this type of boundary around themselves like, ⁓ it's one o'clock. I'm gonna head into my quiet time now so I can rejuvenate and refresh. That's absolutely true. I think that it doesn't have to be as hardcore of you're gonna make your kids nap every single day. ⁓ you know your kids best. So you might have a kid that truly doesn't go to sleep well at night because they nap too long in the middle of the day. ⁓ So maybe if your kids are outgrowing actual nap time, ⁓ you can still create a rule or rhythm in your that says the whole family is just gonna be quiet ⁓ for let's say one to three o'clock every day. that really trains your kids over time, they will get used to that. I think of it almost as like free time. set up our home in a way that kind of feels like they have access to other things. we have a whole closet that is dedicated to board games. They can walk in that closet and find ⁓ all different games to play with themselves or with their siblings. ⁓ We have hammock swings on the porch. We have areas of the home set up for comfy, comfy cozy. there's blankets and there's books and ⁓ individual games and where they can truly ⁓ be independent, find cozy craft or cozy activity to do, or just ⁓ snuggle up and asleep and really enjoy themselves for the afternoon. I like how you said that. It's not a punishment. this is just another way that we're going to enjoy our day. From one o'clock to three o'clock, we're gonna all do something quiet. So yeah, from one o'clock to three o'clock, and that may sound like a long time. I just read this thing about how it takes kids forty-five minutes of outdoor playtime before true creativity kicks in. That's a long time. It is a long time. But if think about the attention of kids these days, they say it's like two minutes or less, ⁓ It doesn't really surprise me that it takes kids so long. It's like their imagination and creativity muscle has been weakened by screens. And so when we throw them into environments ⁓ playing outside ⁓ hardly anything except some sticks and a swing, ⁓ have to figure it out. They have to think to themselves, how are we going to have fun with limited resources, limited technology? I I've noticed it even with our kids. If we say you're gonna stay outside for an hour, it really is up until that 45 minute mark that now they're exploring, they're figuring out some sort of fun game that they're playing that they're making up. But up until then they're coming inside. ⁓ When can we come inside? Can we watch TV? ⁓ So I would say a good option for quiet in the summertime is say, hey, why don't you go outside for the next hour or two and just read a or enjoy yourself and just watch the creativity kick in. Yeah, that's really why we have chosen that two hour time frame ⁓ is it takes so long to to the point where they've kind of entered into fun, if you will. ⁓ And so ⁓ If that time is too short, they either don't enter into fun or their fun is l so limited for few minutes. But it's really where they're making that deep memory. And when they have a brother, sister, sibling, a neighbor that they play with, that's really the time they're creating those kinds of memories. And that's a really beautiful thing for them. And you know, what tying this back into the bucket list, you know, I think that even vacations feel more enjoyable when we enter into the vacation being consistently refueled and rested versus treating the one summer family vacation ⁓ ⁓ the because then we almost crawl into vacation, hoping that that ⁓ one week the road or that one week flying to wherever ⁓ is gonna the thing that refreshes us for the summer. But how cool is it to live a lifestyle where you have committed to a daily rhythm of rest that keeps you and your family in like such a good headspace and really helps you all to feel rejuvenated every single day? I've noticed we've enjoyed our vacations more. we don't go into vacation living lives that are Go, go, go, go, go. And when you go to a vacation and you treat it that same way of go go go, I've got to fit everything in. I mean, people are hangry, they're tired, they're exhausted, right? That's where that phrase, I need a vacation for my vacation like comes from. Yeah. And I don't think we do that anymore. I think we have become more content ⁓ and we also take the moments to break, that rhythm comes into play because it's so ingrained. kind of a slower paced, quiet time on our vacation is not an abnormal thing either. ⁓ Yeah. I think the kids it and know it, but you know, again, we don't come home feeling like we need a vacation from the vacation, on our bucket list ⁓ because this is just an ingrained that we've already have and we just carry it with us. That's a beautiful thought. It's kind of like the idea about how Sabbath, when you become a family that practices Sabbath and you have that weekly day of rest, it doesn't just transform you that one day. It really transforms how you live the rest of your week. And you begin to realize that you want just these random big of rest. our soul really needs consistent balance of rest and work. And I'm just thinking about you know, we're going on this huge road trip this summer, which we're so excited for. We're gonna be taking about a month to travel to Montana and Wyoming and South Dakota and Wisconsin. And there's actually one Airbnb that we're all really excited about. It's this little cabin really close the west entrance of Yellowstone National Park. ⁓ And it's so beautiful from pictures. It looks like the cabin is just surrounded by the mountains in this little valley. And you and I were just talking about how we not only want to go into Yellowstone, of course, and do some hiking and see the geyser and all those things, but ⁓ we want to enjoy this we have intentionally thought about we're gonna definitely spending a good amount of time at the cabin just hanging out as a family, playing cards, resting. And although we could try to kill ourselves by hiking from morning to night, seeing every square inch of Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons, we just going to embrace that we can see what we can see. And we're also going to include an abundance of rest on vacation. Yes. Yes, I love that mindset. Of being content not to fit everything in ⁓ and okay with that on vacation. you get that mindset from how you live the rest of the 364 days a year when you're not on vacation. I think that's a really great call out. And I think that's a hundred percent true. You know what we're gonna be full of on this road trip? Family connection time. Yeah. That is our third rhythm. Uh-huh. We want to connect as a family daily throughout the summer. It's so easy to get to end of summer and be like, ⁓ well, I wanted to go for walks in the evening or ⁓ We wanted to sit out on the back porch or we wanted to play games more often because we're home more. And you can get to the end of summer be like, ⁓ didn't do any of that stuff. Mm-hmm. I admit, I think that's happened to us before. Totally. I think it's where we learned that we wanted to create rhythms around spending time together as a family. Well, and the reality is this isn't to scare any of us, but we really only get about eighteen Summers. And in the grand scheme of things, 18 summers really is not that many to have with each of our kids. so yeah, I think it is kind of a crappy feeling when we get to the end of summer and we think, ⁓ man, I wanted to ⁓ so much more time with my family, but summer almost escaped us. ⁓ And think one big problem with this ⁓ is just how much pack full. our school year and we almost go into summer with that same mentality. We don't really actually lighten our schedule. We pack it full of of these other sports and practices competitions. ⁓ Or maybe even packing it full of just like we gotta go to these people's cabin this weekend and then we're gonna ⁓ Camping this weekend I think that we can ⁓ overpack ourselves even with good things in the summer. And we think we're all this ⁓ family time. But actually those busy things that clog up our schedule in the summer keep us from truly connecting with our family. And if you think about it, to connect with your family, it can be as basic as pulling out a deck of cards, sitting around the table at night and playing. You do not need to ⁓ go up the cabin. You do not need to book a special trip or spend a of money. ⁓ It's as simple as just sitting out on the back porch without your phone. Yeah, it's having an intentionality a lot of people believe that it's ⁓ going to happen. Like we are just gonna it's just naturally gonna happen. But it's so easy. We get to the end of the day, and we're tired or we've had all things going on, and you get home And you all just go to bed and you're like, wow, I didn't have a real conversation or connection today. And not saying you need to force things, but we do want to create ⁓ space and rhythmically in our home for these connecting moments to happen. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I have found that doesn't happen accidentally. ⁓ It really does happen rhythmically. when you have decided as a family, you know what, we're ⁓ go on a family walk ⁓ single night this summer after dinner, or we're gonna go on a family walk, you know, three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. ⁓ are ⁓ creating space for children to open up to you, for you your spouse to have a good conversation. ⁓ You may even know what you're gonna talk about on these family walks. You probably won't actually know what you're gonna talk about on these family walks, but just because you made the space for it and you have decided that this is just what we're gonna do this summer, ⁓ alone it really does open the door to so much ⁓ It really does. ⁓ do you think have been some of your favorite ways ⁓ connected? Or what are some ideas that you have that you're looking forward to doing this summer? For us. Well, I love that you brought up the fishing rhythm because we live, I mean, just steps away from this gorgeous mountain lake. And I think that there has to be intention with, you know, getting the poles ready. ⁓ We to get our fishers license. we've been to kayak, do fishing and kayaking, so we have to get the kayak license. ⁓ And once we get all that set up, I think I'm really looking forward to just having a scheduled night. like we scheduled ⁓ the boys have baseball up here, ⁓ and we have scheduled nights baseball practice. I'm really looking forward to having a scheduled weeknight. Like I think we've decided Tuesday nights ⁓ are our fishing and kayaking ⁓ And I'm excited to see having just that. Time blocked off in our calendar. We call this having a timestamp for your rhythm and how critical it is to actually schedule your rhythms. ⁓ But I'm forward to just those nights where we get to finish dinner early, ⁓ get the poles, get the kayak, and just walk down to the lake. I think that going be core memories for the kids. I heard once that. You don't have to do something every single day or even every single week for your kids to have a core memory from it. ⁓ just have to do it consistently. you make pancakes for your kids once a month, for example, on a Saturday morning. But because you it every single month, your kids will reflect back on their childhood and say, ⁓ My dad made pancakes for us. All the time, every single weekend we had pancakes. It's just how kids' memories work that you don't have to actually do the thing every single day for your kids to be like, my whole childhood was this. And so it's just something for us as parents to remember that let's say want your kids to have a core memory of like we went fishing all the time. Your kids probably won't say that if you go fishing one time the summer. They probably won't say, My whole childhood, we went fishing all the time. But if you s made a rhythm of going fishing once a week this summer or once every other week, ⁓ guarantee they'll probably look back on their childhood and say, ⁓ dad took us fishing all summer long. I agree a hundred percent. I think that's true. It's it's a core memory. It's something that shapes you and culture of your future home and what you enjoy and what you want to pass on. all those things come out in those core memories. And I think what I'm getting at is it's the consistency that matters. Although, you know, this episode is not about bashing. the summer vacations and the bucket list. Like we just said that those things are important. But I do think that when kids think about the things they did all summer long or they experienced ⁓ of their childhood, it comes down to the things that they did on a regular basis. another idea to help make a memory is it doesn't have to be something you do for a really long time consistently. It can be short. Like you could play ⁓ or two quick rounds of Uno, for instance, as a quick game. It doesn't an hour every night to create a core memory. You can just do something consistently and it can be quick. Or you can go on a walk and you could just quickly walk your block. You can absolutely go for long walks. We love to, but sometimes you don't have the energy or the time. But just getting out there and doing it creates those family core memories and an opportunity for a connection. Yeah. building rhythms can be difficult? when you get into any kind of new habit where you are trying to do something on a regular basis that you haven't done ⁓ What would be your encouragement or advice to family who they want to do these things? They want to have a regular walking night or they want to have a regular game night, ⁓ it just feels so hard. they get to the end of the day and they're just so tired. They're like, Well, maybe we'll do it tomorrow night, or they get to the end of the week and they're like, ⁓ We thought we'd off Sabbath tonight and have a special game night tonight, but ⁓ We just want to eat pizza and go to bed. what's your encouragement to that family on how to just get started? ⁓ aside a consistent time. It's why we the word rhythms. Find a consistent moment or create a consistent moment that you would like to stick to. And that you agree upon. So if it's a family game time. You and your family should agree upon when is that family game time gonna be. Or if you're gonna go on a walk, is it right before dinner? ⁓ Is right after dinner? But something you can be consistent and rhythmic with that doesn't create a bunch of stress. it's something you can consistently start with and And keep that small. for most of us, it's probably like fifteen minutes. You rearrange some other things ⁓ to rhythmically create fifteen minutes in your day. Totally. That's not too difficult, I think, for most people. And I mean that as an encouragement. And if you start with that, creating other rhythms becomes more simple because now you're in the practice of creating rhythms. Yeah. And with that, I would say don't go crazy and try to plan five new family rhythms this summer and think you're gonna stick with all of them perfectly. ⁓ I would encourage you pick maybe one or two new rhythms this summer that you're going to do well. Like you don't have to do all three of these this summer. We would say all three of these are great and good starting points for ideas. But maybe you're like, I'm just gonna nail my summer lunch rhythm this summer. And next summer you work on building out your quiet time rhythm. ⁓ it all have to be done at once is kind of what I'm getting at. I think that's a really great suggestion. There is an exponential power in rhythmic living and it starts slow and you need to start slow. We're telling you that we say that all the time, but it's really true. Because after that thing becomes easier and more simple, you start to say, okay, now I'm gonna create the next rhythm. And that becomes easier. And then you create the next rhythm and you turn around and look back and are like, whoa, I'm building the life I actually want to lead or that I'm called to lead. And I and it's this kind of growing effect. there's other people that teach this as well. Like Dave Ramsey talks about ⁓ a lot of people who get right with their money will then start to lose weight or then start to do all these other things. it's just the idea of when you start doing something ⁓ small ⁓ and you start winning. mean I use winning as in that feeling of feeling good, ⁓ of success, of I'm seeing the result finally that I've been wanting to see. You will be more motivated and excited to do the next one and the next one. And all of a sudden you turn around and you're like, wow, my entire life is rhythmic. Yeah. I love that so much. That is so true. when you win in one area of your life, you begin winning in other areas of your life. And it really does motivate you to keep going. But I think that where people mess up with this is that they start too big too quickly and then they they fail, which makes sense because they've put way too much on their plate and now they are holding themselves to such an incredibly impossible standard that they're like, well, I'm throwing all this rhythm stuff out the window and I'm just gonna go back to my, ⁓ know, chaotic way of life because that's just what I know. ⁓ And I would hate for you to just get to the end of summer and feel like you failed at building a rhythm that would be meaningful. And so something smaller is better than nothing. And I would say that your suggestion of just going on a 10 or 15 minute walk in the evenings, that is so attainable for most of us to put your walking shoes and say, we're gonna go walk the block. And maybe by the end of summer, your family gets so into walking. That you're walking for an hour every night. maybe it just grows. That one rhythm grew into so much more than you could imagine. ⁓ And as expressed multiple times, but it does bear repeating, we want you to have the big bucketless moment. We want you to take the big trips. We want you to have the awesome experiences. the problem though is that be living out somewhere backwards. ⁓ like living for special events, but we want to live for every day. And truly we're finding it's enriching that big summer event that you're gonna do with your family. And it's gonna ⁓ this amazing summer for you ⁓ really holds and binds you together truly as a family and catapults you into having a great ⁓ of the year as well. Yeah, I think the the basis of this episode is that Special events like your bucket list items are not what holds your family together. That's something that's so critical. I think for all of us to realize, especially those of us who are tempted to put money into our kids thinking that that's just gonna build a better relationship with our kids. ⁓ think we have to realize ⁓ these moments are cool, but it really is the rhythms of what your family does on a daily. ⁓ weekly basis that really binds you together and builds such a deeply rooted foundation. Extraordinary moments ⁓ are supported by ⁓ ordinary rhythms. And to recap, three ordinary rhythms That will absolutely make your summer amazing are having a summer lunch rhythm, a quiet time rhythm, and a family connection rhythm. if are a family that's listening right now and you think this sounds pretty cool to have maybe a new rhythm this summer, what is one rhythm that we mentioned today ⁓ that would encourage you to go little deeper with your family? Which one really stood out to you as maybe your next baby step? I think many parents ⁓ will head summer carrying a burden that they were never meant to carry. I would hate for you to go into the summer feeling like you were to create this incredible summer with all these activities, ⁓ but you missed the beautiful moments that happen in the between. There's so much pressure, I think, today, because of Pinterest and Instagram and social media in general to create this perfect summer to make every day magical. ⁓ But is magical because it's summer. That's so true. kids are not expecting us to ⁓ do all these fancy things summer long. No, I think you're a hundred percent right. kids don't need some kind of cruise director. ⁓ They just they need a parent. They don't need constant excitement. They need consistency. They don't need a perfect summer. They need a peaceful home that fosters creativity and fun and challenges them to to be independent too. so ⁓ make the bucket list, the fun camping trip, ⁓ go get ice cream, ⁓ take a vacation. ⁓ Go watch the fireworks on Fourth of July. Create those fun memories. But remember, the camping trip may last a weekend. The zoo trip it lasts a day. The vacation lasts a week, but the atmosphere of your home lasts way beyond some of it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, when I think about our kids looking back on their childhood, I don't think they're gonna remember every item that we crossed off on a bucket list. I think they're gonna remember the popsicles that we had on the couch or out on the blanket in the backyard. Yeah, you're definitely not letting our kids have a popsicle on the power I did the other day and that was a mistake. I'm just gonna say that's not happening again. But they will remember the one time mom let them have popsicles on the couch. And I think they're just gonna remember those slow mornings that we have around the table reading the Bible together. ⁓ family devotions back on the back porch having ⁓ cookies and ice cream. ⁓ think they're just gonna remember these simple in-between moments of just being together and connecting. So thank you for joining us today on the Rooted Family Podcast. We are so glad you joined us and we are looking forward to hearing what you're looking forward to this summer. Drop a comment below of what rhythm you're gonna implement and we'll see you next time.