Latest / UK Column Radio / Why Masculinity Matters More Than Ever
Transcript
- 0:38Why are we talking about masculinity in 2025?
- 0:45Well, no one had to talk about masculinity when it was the
- 0:51norm. You know what masculinity was.
- 0:53Everyone was just, there were certain expectations of society
- 0:57and that was no one talked about masculinity.
- 1:01And then what happened is that, you know, there's this long
- 1:05train of things that happen, obviously the industrial
- 1:08revolution and feminism and all these things that slowly took
- 1:11men away from certain kinds of roles and put them in this
- 1:15protected space. You could almost call it a child
- 1:18space, like where they don't have to deal with the defence of
- 1:22things. They don't have to.
- 1:24They're taken care of. You know, modern life,
- 1:26masculinity is fairly optional unless you live in a place that
- 1:30is in conflict or, or a bad neighborhood or something like
- 1:34that. But in modern life, masculinity
- 1:36is somewhat optional. So men are taken care of in much
- 1:40the same way that women always have been.
- 1:42So they can afford to, you know, run their mouths and know that
- 1:45no one's going to hit them. And they can they can do all
- 1:48this passive aggressive behavior.
- 1:50And so this has just gone through, moved through culture
- 1:56over, you know, decades and decades.
- 1:59And what happened is that you saw this with the, the gender
- 2:03theory things that I I saw in the 90s, but then became very
- 2:09big just recently with all the trans things and so forth.
- 2:13And all these people, all these feminists were working for a few
- 2:17decades of redefining masculinity and talking about
- 2:21masculinity and making it negative and saying that it
- 2:25doesn't exist, saying that it's not real.
- 2:27And these are all products of Marxism and queer theory and
- 2:30gender studies and so forth. And no one, those people were
- 2:35all under the radar until about like 2010.
- 2:39And no one talked about masculinity because no one
- 2:42needed to. And then all of a sudden, you
- 2:43know, these people started to gain influence and we started to
- 2:48see a lot, a lot more in mainstream culture.
- 2:50And so then you had people saying ridiculous things about
- 2:54men and masculinity and all of a sudden people started to wake
- 2:57up. And really when the trans thing
- 2:59became reached its peak, then you we're which we're past peak
- 3:05right now, which is nice. But when it reached its peak,
- 3:08you had a whole bunch of people saying, you know, men and women
- 3:11didn't exist. All these things didn't exist.
- 3:13And so it became very necessary. And that was why I wrote The Way
- 3:16of Men earlier. It I saw that problem happening
- 3:19is that men couldn't articulate what masculinity is.
- 3:22And so you have all these gender studies PhDs who are then
- 3:25articulating it for them, you know, with their own agenda and
- 3:28pasting it onto it. And men needed to be able to
- 3:30articulate masculinity in a coherent way.
- 3:34And that was my project with The Way of Men.
- 3:37So it sounds like you're talking about postmodernism.
- 3:40Postmodernism being quite destructive.
- 3:44Yeah, yeah, yeah. And postmodernism obviously just
- 3:47a reaction to to modernism and disappoint, the disappointment
- 3:51in modernism, I think if that's the real, that's what
- 3:53postmodernism really is, right? Like the collapse of meaning
- 3:56that was really foreseen by Nietzsche in a certain way.
- 3:59Who is Jack Donovan? A 50 year old man.
- 4:12Yes, but you are a lot fitter. You're a lot fitter than every
- 4:16other 50 year old men that I know.
- 4:19I do try. I do try.
- 4:20And I think it's important because I write around about
- 4:22masculinity. I try to at least exemplify some
- 4:25things. I mean, you can't, you can't be
- 4:27the exemplar for all things masculine.
- 4:30I, I got into, I, I started writing about masculinity
- 4:33because I, it was interesting to me as a topic and I really
- 4:36wanted to understand what it was.
- 4:38Most men who talk about masculinity are marketing,
- 4:43they're talking about their masculinity.
- 4:45They're like putting themselves forward as the exemplar of
- 4:48masculinity. And you see that, you know, all
- 4:50over the Internet now. I mean, you really didn't have
- 4:52that as much like when I wrote the way of men.
- 4:54But now there's all these guys being like, here's what you need
- 4:57to do to be man like me. And, you know, and that's what
- 5:02most of this masculinity discourse is now.
- 5:04Or you have like, you know, priests and pastors and things
- 5:07like that. Being like, this is how you need
- 5:09to be a man for God or all these, all these everyone wants
- 5:12to everyone wants to capitalize on male insecurity is the real
- 5:18price is what's really happening is they've no one wanted to talk
- 5:21to men or care what happened to them until they realized that
- 5:24there was money there and that now they can find different ways
- 5:28to make men insecure. And advertisers used this a long
- 5:30time ago being you want to sell a truck, Here's what you do to
- 5:33sell it to men. But now there's all these men's
- 5:37coaches and all the all, all these people selling men did
- 5:41their way to be masculinity. But when I wrote the web and I
- 5:45just had a project, I've been like, let's let's figure out
- 5:48what this is. And it's not about me being it's
- 5:50not like about be like me. But I, I to answer your
- 5:54question, I guess I'm a 50 year old man who I went to, I went to
- 6:01art school. I was probably a feminist when I
- 6:04was, you know, a young kid, you know, like certainly I mean, I
- 6:09was, I was probably a liberal and a feminist.
- 6:10Like I went to art school. What do you think?
- 6:13I also went to art school. Yeah.
- 6:16Well, yeah, there you go. You know, so I mean, I, so I
- 6:20came at this from a different angle than I think a lot of
- 6:23people come at. But that's why I think I was
- 6:25able to articulate it better than that.
- 6:27So, you know, I, yeah, I lived in New York and San Francisco
- 6:30and LA and really it was only in my 30s that I became really
- 6:35interested in masculinity and what, what maybe I had missed in
- 6:39believing everything that they told me about men and that men
- 6:42were bad and masculinity was out outdated and out of fashion and
- 6:47old and whatever. And so when I began revisiting
- 6:51that for myself, that's when I started becoming interested in
- 6:54this, this project of understanding masculinity
- 6:57better. And so, you know, I started
- 7:00talking about it as a good thing and someone was reading my work
- 7:05and saying that I wasn't defining it very well.
- 7:07I'm like saying to being a man is good, but you're not, you're
- 7:10not really saying anything like you're not defining it.
- 7:13And that's why I wrote the way of Men.
- 7:15So that's, I guess me in a nutshell.
- 7:18You know, I, the, the older I get, the more I think I, I'm
- 7:21like, I should have just been an artist.
- 7:23But you know, I was trying to draw for the past like 3 or 4
- 7:28days I've been, I've been working on that.
- 7:30So that's really my background. I care about, you know, beauty
- 7:34and, and, and articulating these ideas in a different way, in a
- 7:40visual sense. And, and I think that that's
- 7:42that's always been part of who I am.
- 7:43So obviously you said, you know, like you like my set, whatever,
- 7:47and I have a different visual presentation than I think a lot
- 7:49of people do when they talk about masculinity, but.
- 7:54Well, yeah, Jack, what is masculinity?
- 7:59What is masculinity? That that is the question.
- 8:04And my answer to what is masculinity is that it's when
- 8:11we're talking about it, we're talking about masculinity.
- 8:13We're talking about the way we perceive each other, maybe
- 8:17without even words, The way you can walk into a room and you can
- 8:22kind of rate masculinity among a group of men without having them
- 8:27even talk. You can by their body language.
- 8:31And, and so to understand what that thing was, that thing that
- 8:35we can, what are we sensing that we can't necessarily put our
- 8:39finger on? I, I was like, well, what are
- 8:44we, what cues are we reading? And what I came around to was
- 8:50that we're reading the primal cues that we would have needed
- 8:57through most of human history. You know, men have what have men
- 9:01been doing for thousands and thousands and thousands of
- 9:04years? And my answer is that in the
- 9:10scope of human evolution, most of the time men have been
- 9:12working in groups together and they hunting and fighting.
- 9:18And that's most of our human evolutionary history.
- 9:20The idea that we go to an office is, is very new.
- 9:24For most of human history, men work together.
- 9:27They, you know, had to take down big prey.
- 9:31They had to protect their village from invading village
- 9:33villages. That's pretty consistent.
- 9:37And it's consistent across the whole world.
- 9:40And so you have these hunting and fighting gangs and what
- 9:45masculinity is like. The core primal element of
- 9:47masculinity is what do these men need from each other?
- 9:51Like what are they? How are they evaluating each
- 9:53other as men? And so that's why how I came
- 9:57around to the tactical virtues like what, what do, what do men
- 10:00who are hunting and fighting together, What do they need from
- 10:02each other? And I came up with strength,
- 10:06courage, mastery and honor. You could rename them.
- 10:08You could do all kinds of things, but they're they're good
- 10:10general rules of thumb for talking about.
- 10:14Well, what are we seeing in men? Like is he strong?
- 10:17Is he capable? Is he physically capable?
- 10:20You can walk in a room and see that with, with division and you
- 10:25know, is he courageous or is he cowardly?
- 10:28You can see that body language to a certain extent between
- 10:31different men. And you know, these are all
- 10:33cues. It's like, oh, well, that that
- 10:35guy is a threat. That guy is not a threat.
- 10:38Like we, we see all these things and our body sees them, you
- 10:41know, in the way that, you know, if you have dogs, like they,
- 10:43they know which they know what's going on with.
- 10:45They don't understand what you're saying at all, but they
- 10:47know what's going on. Like we have that too.
- 10:49Like we, we sense things from each other that aren't
- 10:52necessarily we don't have to articulate to see them.
- 10:54And that's why now we have when you see AI, you get into the
- 10:58uncanny valley because a you, you'll see something like that's
- 11:02not a human thing. Like that's off, like that's the
- 11:05we, we can sense something's wrong there.
- 11:07And so you have strength, courage, mastery, like, you
- 11:11know, capability, like what can, what can, what can someone do?
- 11:14Men appreciate virtuosity, I think more than if you're really
- 11:20good at something, men really, you know, it doesn't, you don't
- 11:24have to be like, women have to worry about being pretty.
- 11:26They have to worry about all these other things.
- 11:28Men are like, wow, he's really good at this one thing and they
- 11:31can appreciate that just for that and that that gives a man
- 11:34value and and it gives a man value to men.
- 11:37And where I think a lot of anthropologists and and
- 11:41evolutionary biologists and so forth skip over because they're
- 11:45always looking for how you're going to mate.
- 11:47Like everything's a mating competition with Mitha, those
- 11:50kind of people. But I think that men pre screen
- 11:55each other for women in, in terms of like men compete for
- 12:00status with each other and then the highest status men get the,
- 12:05the the choice of women. You know, like that's and I
- 12:08think that when people don't talk about that as much, it
- 12:10like, they just think we're competing like a little contest
- 12:13for girls. And I think that men compete
- 12:15with each other and they have their own status hierarchy.
- 12:18And you can see this in the modern world, like men in
- 12:22business. So we're like, he's a very
- 12:23successful businessman. Therefore he's high status.
- 12:25Therefore, when we want him, you know, it's not like they're
- 12:29we're like racing each other to see who gets the girl.
- 12:32You know, like men have their whole like status hierarchy
- 12:35without that. And then the obvious strength,
- 12:39courage, mastery, and then honor is that you know what is a group
- 12:43of men need from each other and that is loyalty and honor.
- 12:48Honor is essentially loyalty and showing that you care about your
- 12:52reputation within a group of men.
- 12:54Now you can't care about every group of men, but honor is
- 12:58basically like within this group of men, what is your reputation?
- 13:02And if you, if you care about that and show that you care
- 13:05about the group and what they think of you, then that that is
- 13:08reciprocated. And if you say that you don't
- 13:10care about what the group thinks, then you aren't
- 13:13trustworthy. You know, like they can't trust
- 13:16you as a man if you don't care what they think of you as a man.
- 13:20So those are the, the four tactical virtues that I've
- 13:23talked about in the Way of Men. And, you know, I wrote that book
- 13:26maybe like, I guess like 12 years ago now, and I still agree
- 13:30with it. I, I think that the, it, it, it,
- 13:34it continues to be correct in the way that, you know, men
- 13:37behave. They, they, we are kind of pack
- 13:40animals that we, we and that, and that's one of the biggest
- 13:43problems. And maybe goes back to your
- 13:45question about why are we talking about magic eliminity in
- 13:482025 is that we have is it wouldn't I should have almost
- 13:58forgot where I was going to go with that.
- 14:00But Oh yes, why are why are men insecure?
- 14:07A lot of men are insecure and they're insecure.
- 14:11And, and that's why all these coaches and all these people can
- 14:13sell them their different masculinity kind of products is
- 14:16because men who are not validated by within a group of
- 14:21men are more insecure. Like it.
- 14:25We, we've spent our entire evolutionary history being like,
- 14:31if these guys think I'm all right, then I'm OK.
- 14:34Like that's our identity. That's where we get our identity
- 14:36from. And and you can't get an
- 14:37identity from an identity like that.
- 14:41You can't get that from a woman because hey, also then if she
- 14:45leaves you, then you're, you actually have nothing.
- 14:47So that's bad. But there's a certain confidence
- 14:51that comes with, OK, well, I have this group of guys who all
- 14:56think I'm a good guy. They all respect me.
- 14:58I've earned their respect in some way.
- 15:00And men who have that have a different level of confidence
- 15:05than men who don't have that. And so if men don't have that,
- 15:10then they're looking for that kind of validation in some way.
- 15:14And then so anyone who tries to sell them that validation that
- 15:19they're very easy prey for that. Whereas if you have a bunch of
- 15:22guys who think you're a cool guy, you maybe don't have to buy
- 15:25this thing or buy this other thing or take this course or
- 15:27whatever to show that you're a man because these other men
- 15:30already think you're a man. You know, like these other men
- 15:33always are. You already have validation with
- 15:35that group. And, and so I think any, any way
- 15:37that you can be kind of initiated and accepted into a
- 15:41group of men or informally or formally that adds to your sense
- 15:47of security as a, as a man in the world.
- 15:51So I think that, you know, that's what men should really
- 15:53seek out is if you don't have any kind of gang like that.
- 15:57And it's really hard, it's really hard to find groups of
- 15:59men in the real world. But that's, that's why I always
- 16:02tell men, I, I mean, I do jiu jitsu.
- 16:05That's one place where I was like, I OK, I, I have a
- 16:08reputation like in that group, you know, like Jack was going to
- 16:12do this, he's going to do this, he's going to do this, you know,
- 16:15like he's, he's a hassle in this way.
- 16:17But you know, this one person can get him in this thing every
- 16:20time. You know, like I have this, you
- 16:22know, like this is how he conducts himself, you know.
- 16:25And so people recognize that when they come to the room,
- 16:28whether it's good or bad, you know, like I have a reputation
- 16:31within a group of men. And, you know, obviously in the,
- 16:33in the larger world as an author, I have a reputation with
- 16:36a group of men and I have a group that I, I run called the
- 16:39Order of Fire. And so, but if you have none of
- 16:43that, imagine a dude who had basically has no friends or just
- 16:47has a few friends. Yeah, well, they're the, that's
- 16:50a lot of guys. You know, like a lot of guys
- 16:52don't have more than like, one or two people they can even
- 16:55call. So I mean, that's the way the
- 16:58modern world is because it keeps us all very separate, you know,
- 17:01Like it's like, you know, Once Upon a time there are people who
- 17:05still live where they grew up, you know, and that that's like,
- 17:08OK, well, these are my friends from high school.
- 17:10And I still see them at the mall, you know, or I still see
- 17:12them wherever I go. But there are a lot of people
- 17:15who, you know, they they move, you know, as I have like around
- 17:18the world to different cities and so forth.
- 17:21And yeah, they, they don't really have a connection with
- 17:24anybody And, and you really have to go out of your way to build
- 17:27it, you know, I mean, that was the goal, really.
- 17:30Like what, What is always true about masculinity?
- 17:33Because the, you know, the gender studies people and so
- 17:37forth who were taking apart masculinity, they want to say,
- 17:41oh, well, this is different here and this is different here.
- 17:43And here, here are all the little differences between and
- 17:45there are so many. I mean, you talk to different
- 17:47groups of men and what type of car is OK for a man to drive or
- 17:52whatever becomes so fluid, you know, like it's, it's so
- 17:56different from group to group. But you know, they're they're
- 17:58die guys who will die on that hill.
- 18:01You know, like, no, a man should not drive this thing that you
- 18:05know, and but that'll change from place to place that that
- 18:09changes from social class to social class, group to group.
- 18:12But what is always true and wherever you are in history and
- 18:18wherever you are in the world now, they're always outliers in
- 18:21like this weird Society of monks or whatever.
- 18:24But if you take the mainstream of any culture that survived for
- 18:28any length of time, would would, would any of those men say it's
- 18:37better for a man to be weak? Like nowhere, nowhere is that
- 18:42true. Like always and everywhere it is
- 18:46better to be stronger as a man. Masculinity is directly
- 18:50connected physically and and you know, whatever metaphorically to
- 18:56strength. Is it better for a man to be a
- 19:00coward? Like said no man anywhere, you
- 19:04know, like that. No, men have never said
- 19:07masculinity. One of the things that we we
- 19:10value in men are, is cowardice. No one ever says that.
- 19:14It doesn't matter if you're a Muslim.
- 19:16It doesn't matter if you're Jewish.
- 19:17It doesn't matter where you are. It's good for men to be
- 19:19cowardly. No one says that ever.
- 19:22You know, and, and The thing is these virtues, that's why that
- 19:26was my criteria for them. Is this always true?
- 19:29You know, and, and The thing is, is that women can have all those
- 19:32qualities. A woman can be strong.
- 19:34A woman can be courageous, warming.
- 19:37They they can see. Yeah, no one cares.
- 19:38Like, like they don't say that she's less of a woman if she
- 19:43like no one says a woman is less of a woman because she's weak,
- 19:48like physically weak. Like no one cares.
- 19:51You know, a woman is less of a woman because she's coward.
- 19:55No. Well, did she, she still makes
- 19:57babies, right. You know, it's, it's, it's not,
- 20:02it's, it's like a bonus thing that they can have.
- 20:04You know, they, they can, they can be strong, they can be
- 20:07courageous, they can be really good at things.
- 20:09But as long as they're they're women, either way, you know that
- 20:15that status. But if a a man is really weak
- 20:19and really cowardly and you know, is always isn't really
- 20:23good at anything and is always like, help me, help me, help me.
- 20:26I'm not self-sufficient like men will think he's less of a man.
- 20:32He he will be viewed as being less masculine.
- 20:34And that's why I think these these virtues in this way of
- 20:37looking at masculinity holds up because it holds up always and
- 20:41everywhere for men. But it's also important to note
- 20:44that the virtues that you're talking about are not the
- 20:47caricatures that we see in Hollywood and in comics and that
- 20:50sort of thing. It's not the caveman dragging a
- 20:53woman or it's not. It's not a guy like Trump who
- 20:56walks into a room and suddenly you assume that he's masculine
- 20:59because that's also theatrics. You you're talking about
- 21:02something a lot deeper. Yeah, I mean, there's, there is
- 21:08theatrics is part of it. You know, like men, men can, men
- 21:12can create that, you know, like, like George Washington was very,
- 21:15very concerned about this is how I should be portrayed and this
- 21:18is like how you should see me for history, you know?
- 21:22But but yeah, I mean, there's there's big theatrical
- 21:28confidence, which is kind of a marketing thing, I think is what
- 21:32you're saying. And then there is, you know,
- 21:38I'm, I'm just, I'm just secure. Yeah.
- 21:41Yeah. Like you don't have to
- 21:42necessarily be loud about it. In fact, you know, like it's
- 21:45like there's that big thing of like people who men who are
- 21:48always talking about being alpha.
- 21:51Are probably that's where I was going.
- 21:52That yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that.
- 21:54Yeah. The, the, the big yeah, I hate
- 21:57that word. I hate alpha.
- 21:59Like that's I, I think that that's a signal.
- 22:01It's a marketing word. I know why men use it and I
- 22:05don't. I I've friends and guys who I
- 22:07respect who use that as a marketing word because it's the
- 22:09way you reach young men is like, say you want to be more alpha.
- 22:13What they're really saying is you want to be more masculine
- 22:15because alpha signifies a status in a group and male hierarchies
- 22:21are flexible. You know what I always like?
- 22:26I could be the alpha in the room and then Trump walks in and I'm
- 22:29not the alpha in the room. You know, like it or whoever
- 22:32isn't has the most power becomes the in in that particular group.
- 22:35Or like, say you're in a group that does chess and there's the
- 22:40chess alpha and then you go to the jiu jitsu and well, there's
- 22:44the jiu jitsu alpha and there's the boxing alpha and there's.
- 22:47So male status hierarchies are very flexible and who is the
- 22:50most important man in the room can change.
- 22:53But what they're really trying to sell young men by saying
- 22:56alpha is really this thing that I'm talking about.
- 22:59Like, is he assertive? Is he, does he, does he look
- 23:02confident? Is he, is he strong?
- 23:05Is he it? It does do does he have a
- 23:07presence when he walks in the room?
- 23:09All these things that are associated with masculinity is
- 23:11what they're associating with alpha.
- 23:12And they make it like it's this type that you're either alpha or
- 23:15beta. Like you can only be one of the
- 23:17two, you know you. But I think that men are just
- 23:20more complicated than that. We're not.
- 23:22We're not. Yeah.
- 23:24No, I was going to say, but you, you can kind of see if somebody
- 23:27is a legacy alpha or legacy beta.
- 23:31I mean you can. Yeah, well, well, the OK, like
- 23:37the most submissive guy in the room is going to be beta, but
- 23:40he's also going to have the less of all the qualities that I've
- 23:44talked about. You know, like it's basically
- 23:46he's just lower on the masculinity scale then the the
- 23:51guy who's super alpha is going to be very sure of himself.
- 23:55I mean, that's really what it comes down to a lot.
- 23:57And that's unfortunately that's really, that's really kind of a
- 24:01problem that we're seeing I think now is that you have men
- 24:05who are very confident and if you say anything with
- 24:08confidence, people will gravitate towards you.
- 24:11It doesn't matter if it's true. It doesn't matter if it makes
- 24:15sense. But if you say, hey, buddy, the
- 24:21sky is red, it's red, it's been red, it's always been red.
- 24:25They're lying to you, all right? You know, like if you say that
- 24:29with confidence, people are like, fuck me, the sky is red.
- 24:35You know, like it's, that's the thing.
- 24:37That's the problem. It's like you can say anything
- 24:39with confidence and you have a lot of big influences, you know,
- 24:41like, and if you say it with confidence, a lot of people will
- 24:46just follow it and believe it and it that's what it it's
- 24:49about. So I people have learned how to
- 24:53mimic confidence. I think to sell things in many a
- 25:00good case, because I guess he's on my mind because his
- 25:02documentary just came out and I had the the pleasure of meeting
- 25:06him in person was Liver King. Liver King came across as very,
- 25:11very confident, like in his message, like everything that he
- 25:15said was true. And you know, tons and tons of
- 25:17people believed him. I've met him in person.
- 25:19I believed him like he was a, he was a charismatic guy.
- 25:23He's really, there's a lot to like, a lot to like about him,
- 25:27apparently. I mean, he, he lies a little
- 25:28bit, but I've, I've known some other guys who came off very
- 25:32well who also lied a little bit. So it, you know, sometimes they
- 25:35do that, but but the, the confidence is what comes across.
- 25:39And he man, if you'd start saying like, OK, Pablos, this is
- 25:43what we're doing, then then young men are like, sign me up.
- 25:48You know, let's go. It doesn't matter if what you're
- 25:50saying is right or not. It just if, if you deliver it
- 25:53with confidence, people respond to it.
- 25:55There's a handful of virtues that people talk about.
- 25:58Yeah, in the way that there's not, not a lot new under the
- 26:01sun, you know, like you can, you can read Aristotle and Plato and
- 26:05they're talking about the same things that we're talking about
- 26:07today. And they're, I'm specifically
- 26:12interested in the concept of virtue right now, and that's
- 26:14kind of where my work is going. And and yeah, when you talk
- 26:18about virtue, you're talking about, you're having the same
- 26:20discussion that that you they've been having since, you know,
- 26:23ancient Greece. So like, yeah, they a lot, a lot
- 26:26of there are only so many like human positives and negatives.
- 26:30I guess. Like it is the way that you
- 26:31could look at it like what is good and what is bad, you know,
- 26:34like there are people talking about temperance as a virtue,
- 26:38like self-control. And that's that's this thing
- 26:41that's just this recurring theme that people talk about over and
- 26:43over again because it's human. Like they're only thing, they're
- 26:46things that are specific to people.
- 26:48And I think that that's that's one of the things that we really
- 26:51got away from in, you know, like the whole, I guess boomer
- 26:54experiment is that, you know, like this idea that there was
- 26:59that idea that humans are blank slate.
- 27:01You could, if the government changes, you can change human
- 27:04nature. I think I wrote.
- 27:06About that, sorry. Yeah, that's that is actually
- 27:09Steven Pinker was my gateway. The the his his book, The Blank
- 27:15Slate was a big life changing book for me.
- 27:18That was, you know, like in the early 2000s, I think that that
- 27:21came out and yeah, that was a major frame shift for me.
- 27:26And that's where I first started to get in interested in
- 27:29evolutionary psychology and things like that was because,
- 27:32you know, there was that that period where they basically the
- 27:36boomer generation, I think, redesigned society based on the
- 27:39idea that we don't have a human nature.
- 27:42And right now we're in this place where we're watching all
- 27:46of that fall apart because, OK, you had X amount of years to
- 27:50because because human nature is real, because we just like any
- 27:54other animal, there are there are things you can expect my
- 27:57dogs to do because they're dogs, you know, like, not because they
- 28:02were trained to do this or whatever, but because they're
- 28:04dogs. And the same thing is true of
- 28:06people in the way we just talked about it.
- 28:09Like we've been talking about the same discussion about
- 28:10virtues for thousands and thousands of years.
- 28:14Why? Because people have a nature and
- 28:17they have recurring problems that are the same problems all
- 28:19around the world. And if you don't address those
- 28:24things, what Kipling called it the gods of the copy book
- 28:27headings. He has that great poem.
- 28:30And it doesn't matter exactly what he says the the gods, the
- 28:32complications are, but there are certain human realities that if
- 28:36you ignore them, you will be punished for it.
- 28:40And and that's that's what we're seeing now is happening.
- 28:44Like all the things that, you know, they said, oh, women and
- 28:48men are totally interchangeable. We could just put them on the
- 28:50workplace. Oh, well, surprised.
- 28:52You have a really low birth rate all around the world.
- 28:55You know, like, like, oh, well, that's a consequence of that
- 28:58thing. You know, like here's that
- 29:00experiment and here are the consequences of that.
- 29:02You know, if you don't prioritize, you know, if you
- 29:05don't prioritize families in society, people won't have them.
- 29:08You know, like that's something that needs to happen.
- 29:10And so like all, all these human realities don't go away.
- 29:14And that's where I think we get into human nature and the just
- 29:18the the experience of being human.
- 29:20But Jack, OK, so you mentioned declining birth rates, for
- 29:23example, so does does masculinity matter when it comes
- 29:28to family? I mean it it seems to it seems
- 29:32to be an independent variable it it can exist regardless.
- 29:38It can, I mean a good example would be what Shackleton or
- 29:45something like a man. Men can be on a ship and
- 29:47masculinity has its own realm, you know, like they they can be
- 29:50on a sailing ship on an adventure for years and years
- 29:53and years, never see a woman. And masculinity exists in its
- 29:55own space, right? It's totally independent of
- 29:58women. But one of the reasons why I
- 30:04think it's important for, you know, children to have a father
- 30:08and a mother is because, you know, they obviously model the
- 30:10two sexes. And if your dad is a loser,
- 30:16that's your model for masculinity.
- 30:18And so like it, you know, like it's it's also obviously
- 30:21important in the home and what people are finding a lot of men,
- 30:25there are a lot of men in my group who have families I don't.
- 30:27But, you know, they really have to lead that family and they
- 30:34have to be the leader in that, in that family.
- 30:37And if they're not doing that, the whole thing kind of falls
- 30:40apart. And and so and so, yeah, it's
- 30:43obviously it's, you know, it's, they always say it's how your
- 30:47your daughters are going to envision how men are supposed to
- 30:49be and how your sons are going to try and be, you know, like
- 30:53their, your sons are going to try and grow up to be like you
- 30:56and your daughters are going to their expectations of men are
- 31:00set by you. So yeah, I mean, obviously,
- 31:03yeah, I think it happens. It matters a lot in the home.
- 31:06But it's interesting because, you know, as, as somebody who is
- 31:10married and has a child, I see the need for the gang, the tribe
- 31:16to be ever more important. And I I can't tell you why
- 31:20though, Jack, but it just seems to be that that is what I find
- 31:26brings a sense of fulfillment. Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, like I
- 31:31said, you can't, you can't depend on on like a woman and a
- 31:34child for your masculine identity.
- 31:38That's that's that's where I think a lot of guys get into
- 31:40trouble. And then when they get divorced
- 31:41or something, their whole world falls apart because like that
- 31:44their whole identity is that that group.
- 31:45That's why you have to have something outside that group as
- 31:48well. And it's also really good for,
- 31:53again, young men and young women.
- 31:55Is that OK? You're the one model of
- 31:59masculinity. Well, if you have a whole
- 32:02collective of, of men who you respect, now you have they have
- 32:08a handful of models. Like this is the way that men
- 32:11are supposed to behave. You know, if you have guys
- 32:14coming over to your house to help you move or whatever, you
- 32:17know, and they see this interaction all the time, That's
- 32:21it. It broadens their perspective
- 32:23about what masculinity is supposed to be.
- 32:25It's not just you, but they have all these role models.
- 32:28And that's why I think it's really important, you know, for.
- 32:31Yeah, it's like if you have a son or something, OK, you're,
- 32:34you're the one guy. But if he's seeing all these
- 32:37other men who are also have your values, then then he's seeing a
- 32:41lot of good modeling to, to, to, you know, shape his character as
- 32:46he grows up. And that's why I, like I said,
- 32:47I, I, I do jiu jitsu, so I always talk about that because
- 32:50I'm that nerd. But I mean, it's, that's one of
- 32:54the benefits of being in a place like that is that we have these
- 32:58guys and they bring their, their teenage sons in and dad's doing
- 33:03jiu jitsu and his son's doing jiu jitsu.
- 33:05And his son is also around all these other men who are
- 33:09respectful and behaving themselves and like behaving in
- 33:12a very positive way. And he's getting all these other
- 33:15influences that are that are all positive.
- 33:18And so I think that that's very that's very important in in, in
- 33:21the way that you know, but. I, I, I, I love what you said
- 33:24earlier about human nature because it, you don't even have
- 33:26to read about it. It just seems to naturally
- 33:29occur. Like for example, my wife will
- 33:31say to me, go on your boys weekends and I do, you know,
- 33:35I'll go on hunting weekends or whatever.
- 33:37And it's just natural. And here's the thing, it's the
- 33:40guys who who hold other guys accountable.
- 33:45Well, yeah, it's almost like human nature's real, right?
- 33:49Imagine that. Imagine that.
- 33:52Yeah. That men behave the same way all
- 33:54around the world. You know, it's wild.
- 33:57You know? It's so.
- 33:59Yeah. I mean, you get it, It.
- 34:02We're naturally hierarchical creatures, I think more so than
- 34:05women. But women have their own
- 34:06hierarchies. But you know, men, you'll get a
- 34:09group of men together and one of them is going to be the leader.
- 34:12And that's just how that's going to work within that group of
- 34:15men. And then everybody has their
- 34:17role and finds their role within that group.
- 34:19Whereas your role might be different in in another group
- 34:22because you might have something different to offer.
- 34:24But in that group, you're this guy, you know, like.
- 34:27And so it's yeah. And, and they'll determine
- 34:32what's acceptable for that group is the way it works.
- 34:36Like you said, is, is, is holding each other accountable
- 34:38for masculinity. Every group is going to have its
- 34:41own, like I said, its own little details of what that means.
- 34:46You know, like the littlest thing could be like, well, our
- 34:50group of guys don't like this. You know, our group of guys
- 34:53don't like, I mean, that's running a men's group.
- 34:55It's like we have our own little thing like like, oh, I could
- 34:59never let that guy in the group because that would, what he's
- 35:02doing would not fly, you know, like it would not fly with our
- 35:05group. It would fly with somebody else.
- 35:06But like our, our guys would be like, we hate this guy.
- 35:10Why, why is he here? You know, men need to purpose
- 35:13and they need responsibilities or they generally self destruct.
- 35:17They, they, they say what I saw a quote about that the other
- 35:20day, like if, if you don't give a man a war to fight, he'll,
- 35:23he'll make war on himself. And, and that's, that's not
- 35:27wrong that, that's for my, the different degrees and different
- 35:33men, but men generally need a purpose and, and something, a
- 35:40direction, you know, something, a goal, something to do.
- 35:42And as long as they're working towards a goal, men are doing
- 35:44fine. But if you don't, if you, if you
- 35:47give them nothing to do, which is why kind of welfare states
- 35:50are scary in a, in a certain way, like if you give men no
- 35:53reason to get up in the morning, they will self destruct like
- 35:56they need, they need something to move towards that they're
- 36:00that they're doing because it's, I mean, again, what have they
- 36:01been doing for thousands of years?
- 36:02They need to get up in the morning, go hunt food.
- 36:04If, if they everything just is delivered to them.
- 36:08What, what do you do? Well, why be alive?
- 36:10Why be here? And so they become very
- 36:12nihilistic. And but in on the topic of
- 36:15meaning too. I think that that's something I
- 36:18get into a lot in in my book Fire in the Dark is, is that men
- 36:25naturally want to live in an ordered world and so they create
- 36:31meaning when there is none and that's that.
- 36:34That'll rub a lot of religious people the wrong way because
- 36:37they meaning comes from an external source.
- 36:40But as opposed to yourself? Yeah, my, my view is that if in
- 36:44the ABS, like Voltaire said in the if God wasn't there, we'd
- 36:47have to create him. The same thing is true of
- 36:49meaning if there's no meaning present because there really
- 36:53isn't any meaning in the world. And this is gets into a thorny
- 36:56thing where people get into nihilism and so forth.
- 36:58But I always say, like, I just made a video about this the
- 37:02other day. That's kind of my big my thing
- 37:03that I'm doing right now is YouTube.
- 37:05And like a rock does not need a name to exist.
- 37:12We don't need it just exists. It doesn't.
- 37:14It just it doesn't need a name. All these things don't need a
- 37:17name to exist. All that meaning all the, all
- 37:19the a word is a story about a thing, you know, every, every
- 37:24word tells a story. And and that's it's creating
- 37:26value and it's creating well, it's this and not that, it's
- 37:29exclusivity. And so we create all that stuff
- 37:31to make sense of our world. And so if we met and we, none of
- 37:38us spoke the same language, we would come up with grunts and
- 37:40cliques that came to, to and we would remake the world.
- 37:44That's what that's what men do. They need to live in an ordered
- 37:46world and they will recreate it in its absence.
- 37:50And so that's people find that very, people get not very
- 37:55nihilistic about that, because if, if there is no absolute
- 37:59meaning from an external source, people think they should become
- 38:01nihilistic. But I think that I, I think that
- 38:05it gives us the opportunity that men will create meaning in its
- 38:08absence. And so if there isn't meaning
- 38:10there, create it. I mean, and that that that
- 38:13becomes very freeing. And it's like, well, it's you
- 38:16and your group of guys can recreate would would eventually
- 38:19recreate the whole world and, and it would be slightly
- 38:22different, but a lot of it would be the same.
- 38:25You know, but that's the point though.
- 38:26I mean, I, I in a way you kind of making a parallel with that
- 38:30story Lord of the Flies where yes, where where you, you
- 38:36naturally create purpose. Yes, yeah, yeah.
- 38:42I mean, that's what men will do. They, like, someone told me
- 38:45about that about dogs, too. And like, if you don't give a
- 38:49dog a job, it'll give itself a job, you know, like, it gives
- 38:54it. They give themselves jobs
- 38:55without us. Like my, my dog's job is to
- 38:58obviously, I, I think he thinks he's supposed to like, be
- 39:01available at any time, you know, like he has to.
- 39:05If I, if I get up and go to my office, my dog will get out of
- 39:07bed and go to the next room. So he's nearby, you know, just
- 39:11to make sure. I mean, no one told him to do
- 39:13that. That's just what he's decided
- 39:14that he needs to do. It's a job.
- 39:17But the same way men need to have a job and they need to, you
- 39:21know, like they'll they'll they'll give themselves one or
- 39:25like I said, they'll self destruct.
- 39:26I. Just want to go back to the
- 39:28tribes gangs aspect because when you say that people kind of
- 39:33raised the eyebrows like gangs, OK?
- 39:36Yeah, well, and also women, we men relate to women differently.
- 39:41And women will never understand this because they, because
- 39:45they're women and we relate to them differently.
- 39:47But women will short circuit the group 100% women's present.
- 39:53Yeah. And it's not because they're bad
- 39:56or doing anything wrong or whatever.
- 39:58It's just their presence will make men speak differently.
- 40:02It'll, it'll, they, they, they'll, they'll change the
- 40:04whole way that they relate to each other because women are
- 40:07present. And it's not necessarily that
- 40:09they like, it's not that they're all going to talk about girls
- 40:13when the women are gone, you know, like they, in fact, they
- 40:15usually don't, you know, like they're not talking about that.
- 40:19Like, what's that mean? Like the guy like sleeping at
- 40:21night and the woman's on the other side, I wonder if he's
- 40:23thinking about me or whatever. And, and he's like, you know,
- 40:26what happened with the Roman Empire?
- 40:27You know, it's like it's men. Men are thinking about when men
- 40:32get together, they're talking about totally different things.
- 40:35They're, they're usually not just venting about women.
- 40:37I like it. That's, that's very rare.
- 40:40And it's only if it's like necessary for some reason.
- 40:42But they're, they're talking about things that men like to
- 40:44talk about. That's that's their own
- 40:46interests and so forth. But I mean, adding to that,
- 40:47there was a study done and I, I cannot for the life of me
- 40:50remember when I read this, there was a study done, Jack, that
- 40:56they wanted to see what would happen if you added women to the
- 40:59front lines of a military operation.
- 41:04OK. And effectively the conclusion
- 41:08was it would lower morale. Yeah, well, I mean, because all
- 41:11they're bonding, right. Like we just said that they they
- 41:14relate to each other differently.
- 41:16They need to bond to be in that play in that platoon or whatever
- 41:19together. And if they can't bond properly
- 41:23that that makes them less effective.
- 41:25And there is no like specific way to make them bond.
- 41:28But they're, they're going to so much of culture is jokes.
- 41:33So culture starts with jokes. I say, like almost everything
- 41:37begins as like all of a sudden, if you guys have an inside joke,
- 41:42then that's, that's kind of the seed of culture.
- 41:45We have a whole bunch of jokes that no one else thinks they're
- 41:47funny, but we do because we were there and we, I mean, that's
- 41:50that's where culture comes from so many.
- 41:51And so men have to create that. And a lot of times they won't
- 41:55create that with women present, you know, like they won't create
- 41:57this like internal discussion that becomes its own culture
- 42:01over time. And, and the other thing is, I
- 42:04mean, obviously I've, it's nice that what's happening in America
- 42:08right now is that we're actually, people are speaking
- 42:12about this now, whereas you weren't allowed to talk about
- 42:13this for like decades. But I mean, I've heard it from
- 42:17friends. I, I had so many people who were
- 42:20sought me out after the wave of men because they read it in
- 42:22Afghanistan or Iraq or something like that.
- 42:25And so all these veterans who come back and like, they just
- 42:27talk about being in units with women and like what a disaster
- 42:31it was. And like they realize, you know,
- 42:34like her value, her street value is that maybe not be got that
- 42:38great, but her value when she's in a in a, in a, there are only
- 42:42three women and like 30 guys, their, their value goes up and
- 42:46then become they used to, what do they call them something
- 42:49Queens? But, you know, like, all of a
- 42:52sudden these girls will get guys carrying all their stuff for
- 42:54them and all this, you know, like, 'cause they're the only
- 42:56women there, you know, like, so they, yeah, short circuits a lot
- 43:01of things to have women present just because of natural, because
- 43:04of men and women are different. Jack why is masculinity
- 43:09becoming, well, not masculinity? Why are men becoming so
- 43:13feminized? What's going on?
- 43:14Is that a result of women, or is that a result of other men?
- 43:20Well, it's, it's a result of other men in, in terms of like
- 43:26everything that happened, we were in charge.
- 43:28So everything that happened happened on our watch, like,
- 43:34like feminism happened on our watch, you know, like it, it's
- 43:39so it's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, to a certain extent,
- 43:42everything is men's fault, you know, like, so anything that bad
- 43:46happened really. I mean, all the changes that
- 43:49have happened in society have been because some men at at the
- 43:52top were like, yeah, that'll be fine.
- 43:54We'll we'll just go with that. That'll work for right now.
- 43:57And and then we live through the problems that that creates, you
- 44:02know, whether it was, you know, like, say the boomer kind of
- 44:04experiment, whether the things that happened with the Internet
- 44:06or, you know, like all these changes happen in society, then
- 44:09we, we have to deal with them. And obviously the reason why if
- 44:13men are becoming feminized is because a they're being
- 44:14programmed in a particular way by propaganda to be.
- 44:18I mean, like I said, I was, I was always, you know, grew up, I
- 44:21guess in the late 80s, early 90s.
- 44:24And there was already a lot of propaganda, like masculinities,
- 44:26outdated men are bad. You shouldn't act like a man.
- 44:30That's like not not the right way to behave.
- 44:32Yeah, yeah, yeah. Toxic wasn't even they didn't
- 44:34even call it toxic then. It wasn't with that.
- 44:36That's like a innovation from a twenty 10s.
- 44:38But in the 70s they called it testosterone poisoning.
- 44:43Like it was the same thing. They just recycle the same thing
- 44:46over and over again, but they just give it new names.
- 44:49But yeah, I mean, it was there's yeah, there are all these men,
- 44:54they're getting all these messages that masculinity is
- 44:56bad. I think that actually probably
- 44:57contributed a lot to the trans thing is that you have, you
- 45:02know, if you're a young man and you've been told your entire
- 45:06life that being is man is a bad thing, maybe you want to be a
- 45:09woman. You know, like that's, I think
- 45:12that that's a valid that's probably been an influence on on
- 45:15a lot of the people who are confused.
- 45:17Well, I bet you've been telling me that being I am a man, but
- 45:20you've been telling me that being a man is bad.
- 45:22So, you know, like that get that's got to get in their head.
- 45:26You know, like if they've been hearing that since they were
- 45:27like a baby, that's that's got to get in their head.
- 45:30And so that's I think that's a factor.
- 45:32But the other thing is obviously is there's the propaganda
- 45:36element of it. And then there's also the
- 45:39element of it that is, you know, like just lack of challenge.
- 45:43Like we said, masculinity is optional.
- 45:45You have to seek out challenges. So the way you have all these
- 45:47guys doing like absurd things, you know, whether it's ice bath
- 45:52things like men's groups for a while that was the big trend.
- 45:55They all get together and take ice baths like 'cause they don't
- 45:57have anything hard in their lives.
- 45:59Me and my friends who have done at different times, like blue
- 46:02collar jobs that are actually hard.
- 46:05Like it's like my, my buddy, he, he had the best story.
- 46:08He was like, these guys are getting ice baths.
- 46:11Have you tried being on a ladder for three hours trying to fix
- 46:15something in in the freezing rain and your pants are frozen
- 46:18to your leg? Have you tried that?
- 46:20Like, you know, there are a lot of jobs see in the world that
- 46:24you can still do that are really hard and those people will just
- 46:27want to come home and relax. They don't need to take an ice
- 46:29bath, but they they do other things.
- 46:32But there are so many men who don't have anything that's
- 46:34challenging in their lives. And so they need to seek that
- 46:39out. And that's, you know, like if
- 46:42you grew up having, I would say, like men who grew up with
- 46:44brothers have a little bit of an edge because they, they've had
- 46:48to compete with another guy their whole life.
- 46:51And so they've had to work out all those little status
- 46:53hierarchies and all that stuff. They've been doing that their
- 46:55whole lives. Whereas like I, I grew up with
- 46:57sisters. So, you know, I'll never have
- 46:59that advantage. But that's that's why, you know,
- 47:04you know, whether people go into like combat sports and things
- 47:08like that, they've never had that experience and they need to
- 47:10have it. They need to go through that
- 47:13experience of figuring out that hierarchy and doing the push,
- 47:15pull and all that kind of stuff with it with different men
- 47:18because that's part of how we become what we are.
- 47:21But it's easier not to do any of those things, you know, And
- 47:25society, it's like society is telling you being a man is bad.
- 47:28And it's also easier to not be a man.
- 47:33So well, that's that's your answer to like why men are
- 47:35becoming so effeminate is it's like society is saying it's bad
- 47:39to be masculine and being masculine is hard, you know,
- 47:43like, say, and men will judge you in a way that women won't.
- 47:46And so men, so many men get addicted to female affirmation,
- 47:50which is, yeah, I'll say which is cheap.
- 47:55Like in the sense that like, you know, if you look at a woman
- 48:00post something and it's all, a lot of it's fake too.
- 48:03But if you, a woman post something, you get 300 other
- 48:06women being like, that's amazing, amazing, amazing,
- 48:11everything you do amazing. And whereas dudes, you have to
- 48:15struggle to get a positive comment from a guy at all.
- 48:19That was really shit. Come on.
- 48:21Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Like you could do anything.
- 48:24I mean, I would say like, 'cause you know, my job is to sometimes
- 48:26do manly stuff. I was like, if I, if I would do
- 48:28literally anything in the realm of masculinity and post it on
- 48:33Instagram, my comments will light out about how I did it
- 48:37wrong. Like it doesn't matter, you
- 48:39know, like it'll be dudes will not be like the amount of man
- 48:43squat a great job. Your squat wasn't low enough.
- 48:47Oh, 100% exactly. Like that's a perfect example.
- 48:49Same thing. Any of the masculine spheres,
- 48:52like dudes who are shooting. Yeah, like, like, dude, dudes
- 48:56have all kinds of opinions about that.
- 48:58Yeah, dudes, all of us too far out.
- 49:00Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.
- 49:01Oh, all of it, all of it. Men won't could tweak you to the
- 49:05and that's kind of a little bit of an Internet disease it but
- 49:08it's it's something that we do in real life, you know, but kind
- 49:12of in a joking way. But in the Internet it's just
- 49:14obnoxious. It becomes like guys have an
- 49:17opinion about every little thing that you do, you know, whereas
- 49:19like I said, women, women, it's much easier, I think for men to
- 49:23be like, hey, I'm going to surround myself with women who
- 49:26say that everything I do is amazing.
- 49:29You know, like it's, it's a different world and being around
- 49:32men is hard. Although it can come off as
- 49:37being somewhat superficial, the discussion that we're having,
- 49:40but it's not because I'll let me give you an example.
- 49:42I was not too long ago, I was in Amsterdam, and I said to my
- 49:48wife, you know, I saw a lot of males, but I didn't see a lot of
- 49:52men. And I said that, you know, after
- 49:55having read your your book because I suddenly became more
- 49:58aware of the absolute feminization of men as they're
- 50:04walking around looking at their cell phones with headphones on,
- 50:06disconnected from reality and would probably jump and run away
- 50:11if there was a fire, you know, not and not actually apply the
- 50:15virtues of masculinity. Yeah.
- 50:18And I think, I think it's even more than that too.
- 50:21I think because it's what we are regardless.
- 50:25And so I think that for us to reach our potential as men,
- 50:32that's they're areas that we need to deal with and, and
- 50:36areas, you know, like, because you know, if you're not going to
- 50:41be masculine, like dudes always ask me on Instagram, they ask me
- 50:44like, how do I become more masculine?
- 50:45I'm like, how do we become more of a man or whatever?
- 50:47I'm like, well, you're not a woman, so the only thing that
- 50:50you can do is become more of a man.
- 50:53Or you can just be a really crappy woman.
- 50:56You're never going to be good at being a woman, so you need to
- 50:59get better at being a man. I think it's like a good enough
- 51:02message for a lot of people because it's going to make you
- 51:04better at being you because that that is what you are.
- 51:07And so you don't have to become this caricature of masculinity
- 51:10where you just try and do all the manly things, being a lot of
- 51:15it's not an outfit like that. That's where I think a lot of
- 51:18gays go wrong is that they, they, they, they think
- 51:21masculinity is an outfit that you can wear like, Oh, I'm
- 51:23putting on my lumberjack costume, you know, like, but men
- 51:29value can you actually do the thing, you know, like that's
- 51:32more important than the costume or the outfit, the actual
- 51:36ability to take action and do the thing, whatever it is.
- 51:39And men are very tuned to authenticity in that way, you
- 51:45know, like, in the sense of like, you know, all these, like
- 51:49I said, Internet comments or whatever.
- 51:50It's like if you, I could never, I had a guy in a photo shoot one
- 51:55time. It was a photographer and he
- 51:57wanted me to, he had these prop weapons and he wanted me to hold
- 52:03up these weapons and he thought that would be cool.
- 52:05And I was like, dude, I have so many special forces followers.
- 52:08I can't hold a weapon. I, I, I can't sit there and get
- 52:12photographed of a weapon I don't know how to use.
- 52:15Like they would slay me. Like, like, you know, like,
- 52:17because men are like, you know, like I would never be
- 52:20photographed with a weapon that I've never fired or never a
- 52:22weapon that I never don't know how to use because that, like,
- 52:25who are you trying to be like that?
- 52:27Unless you're acting like, unless you're literally in a, in
- 52:29a play or a movie or something like that and you're acting now
- 52:31that's fine. But the we men respect your
- 52:36actual ability to do things. It's not like just play act and,
- 52:40and, and look cute, you know, like you, you actually have to
- 52:43be able to do things. And, and I think that that's
- 52:45really important to men as well. And so, and, and as you're
- 52:49saying, dude's walking down the street.
- 52:51Well, you can tell if they can't do certain things, you know,
- 52:54like you can tell that they've never been in certain kinds of
- 52:56situations. And you know, there's a sliding
- 52:59scale. I mean, it's not like I've, I, I
- 53:01mean, I hang out with, I've, I've guys in my groups who are
- 53:04like, I have a guy in my group who's a Marine Raider.
- 53:07And I'm sure it's probably killed a lot of people like
- 53:10overseas. And you know, like he's had that
- 53:12whole experience and seen some things, you know, like that I
- 53:15will never see in my life. And we we can't all you have to
- 53:20do the best you can, you know, like it from where you are, you
- 53:23know, but but you can't, you can't have every experience or
- 53:26be be all the man things because then you're just kind of
- 53:28becoming a character of like, I'm going to be the the manliest
- 53:31man in man town. And you, you can't really be all
- 53:35that. And you have so it has to be
- 53:36proportionate to where you are in life.
- 53:38But I think it's important to go and explore those things at
- 53:42least, you know, like you don't have to become an MMA fighter,
- 53:45but you should probably know what it's like to get punched.
- 53:48Yeah, like you should probably you should probably have that
- 53:50experience and and like go do that for a little bit and then
- 53:54maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't.
- 53:56Because a lot of anything in life, right, you you can try
- 54:00them something and maybe it's for you and maybe it's not.
- 54:03But a lot of times you don't know if it's for you because it
- 54:06may seem like it's not for you. And then and then all of a
- 54:09sudden you become very interested in it.
- 54:10Like, you know, like I avoided jiu jitsu for years and now it's
- 54:13like I really like wrestling and and I but I don't really like
- 54:17ghee like like you get these very specific, like I like this
- 54:20and I don't like that, but you had to try it to find out.
- 54:23And and so that's true of all the man things.
- 54:26Like I've done the shooting thing.
- 54:28I always say that I'm kind of like I'm done.
- 54:30I'm over my shooting arc, Like I I've done that.
- 54:33I've tried it out. It's not really my my thing.
- 54:35I, I, I would do it again in, in the right situation, but like,
- 54:39it's not like something that really calls to me, you know,
- 54:42but I've, I've been there and I've tried that and I know what
- 54:44it is. And I think that's important for
- 54:46men to do anything in the masculine sphere.
- 54:49Like that is like, men should go out and seek that out and try it
- 54:52out. And it helps you understand who
- 54:55you are as a man and to to you know.
- 54:58It's kind of going back to the primal and and disregarding the
- 55:02social constructs, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
- 55:06I mean, to a certain extent, well, there are these primal
- 55:09qualities of masculinity. I think it's important to
- 55:11explore those because they are we are still the same animals
- 55:15like being a man is being this certain kind of animal.
- 55:18And you I think it's important to see that exercise, you know,
- 55:25like this exercise, that strength and you know, it makes
- 55:29you something else. Like I always you said, you want
- 55:31to talk to me about workout stuff later, But for instance, I
- 55:36would say like I didn't really start working out really hard
- 55:39until my mid 30s, mid mid to late 30s.
- 55:42And I wouldn't have told you at 20 that I think of myself as
- 55:46being strong. And now it's literally part of
- 55:50my identity like that, that's being the strong guy is actually
- 55:55part of my identity and who I am.
- 55:56And I wouldn't have known that I, I wouldn't have known I had
- 55:59the potential for that or whatever it had I not tried it
- 56:02out. And so that's part of my core
- 56:04identity. I don't like certain lifts to go
- 56:07below a certain thing. I'm actually doing that right
- 56:09now. I'm like, well, let's do some
- 56:1150s benchmarks. I haven't deadlift in a few
- 56:12years. Well, well, I don't like that
- 56:14number. That's much too low.
- 56:16I'm like, let's get that up to where it was.
- 56:18And you know, like, and, and, and so that's part of my
- 56:21identity now and that's part of who I am.
- 56:22And that's, I think it's made me just, I said more of myself, you
- 56:30know, like a better version of myself by exploring those areas.
- 56:35And like I said, not everything is for every person but you, you
- 56:38will get you, you will realize your potential, I guess, as a
- 56:42man that you did maybe didn't think you had.
- 56:44And I think that's why I think it's important to explore those
- 56:46things. Speaking of which, did you see a
- 56:48few days ago a South African one, the world's strongest man?
- 56:54Oh, no, no, I didn't see that. I thought you were going to go
- 56:56through somewhere else with that.
- 56:57But South Africa's been in our news a little bit lately.
- 57:02Yes, but and. We won't talk about that because
- 57:03it's highly embarrassing, Yeah. Yeah.
- 57:06But. But no, yeah, I, I did not see
- 57:09that. But yeah, that's, yeah.
- 57:11I mean, again, that's a, I've done some strong man training
- 57:13before and I know what that is, you know, like it's not
- 57:15something I want to do all the time, but it's, it's good to
- 57:17know what that feels like. Yeah.
- 57:20So that's that's it's a cool thing.
- 57:22But that's also what I find about masculinity.
- 57:27That's so, I don't know, appealing also is the fact that
- 57:33I'm not interested in what women do in the gym.
- 57:36I'm interested in what men do in the gym and I'm interested in in
- 57:39in in how they excel. And that's, that's the
- 57:44foundation of virtue really is, is excellence.
- 57:48I mean, that's, there's an interesting thing.
- 57:50I mean, that's kind of where my interest is now.
- 57:52So it captures my mind. But veer, the root word of
- 57:57virtue is, is veer, which it means man.
- 58:01So it's basically virtue meant manly in this ancient Rome.
- 58:04And so it was Marshall, manliness, all the tactical
- 58:06virtues, all the stuff that I'm talking about.
- 58:07That's what that's what virtue meant originally.
- 58:11And then it met with the Greek arete.
- 58:14And when, you know, the Greeks influenced the Romans a lot with
- 58:19the gods and the other things, but also with philosophy.
- 58:22And so when you have Plato and everybody talking about Plato
- 58:25and Aristotle and so forth, talking about ayate, which is
- 58:28basically excellences. And so like those two things
- 58:33merged right about Cicero, right about Cicero, those things
- 58:38crossed over and became the virtue, became all these
- 58:42excellences and the manly things together.
- 58:45And maybe I'll write a book about that some point, but
- 58:47that's kind of where I'm at with it.
- 58:49Is that that's the foundation of virtue Is is this chase of
- 58:53excellence and manliness at the same time?
- 58:56How can I follow you? Oh, right now, like I said, my
- 59:02website is www.jack-donovan.com. But right now I think the
- 59:09easiest way to find me is I'm trying to produce videos every
- 59:11week on YouTube. So I have a Jack Donovan at
- 59:16YouTube, I have a channel there and I, I let that sleep for, for
- 59:20a decade and now I'm kind of trying to go and talk at least
- 59:25once a week on YouTube. And that's none of my new
- 59:27projects. So that's, that's the best place
- 59:29to find where I'm most active right now.
- 59:31So I mean, I'm, I'm on Instagram at starttheworld and you know, I
- 59:35have this group called Order of Fire at orderfire.com.
- 59:39And that's my whole philosophy based on my book Fire in the
- 59:42Dark. And obviously all my books are
- 59:44in Amazon, et cetera. So.
- 59:46Jack Donovan, thank you for joining me in the trenches.