Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Using What Hurt You as Fuel Instead of Weight (S5) S4:E5

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Using What Hurt You as Fuel Instead of Weight (S5) S4:E5 · Inspirations for Your Life

• 0:24
  Well, hey guys, um, welcome.
• 0:26
  Uh, good afternoon.
• 0:27
  Good evening.
• 0:28
  It is John C.
• 0:28
  Morley here, serial entrepreneur.
• 0:30
  If you're wondering where I'm at, well, I'm
• 0:32
  back here at Montgomery state university.
• 0:34
  Uh, tonight's officially my first class of the
• 0:37
  semester.
• 0:37
  Looking forward to it already had some homework
• 0:39
  that had to be handed in, uh, by
• 0:42
  actually yesterday, which I had handed in, by
• 0:44
  the way, on Friday.
• 0:45
  Uh, so welcome.
• 0:46
  I don't have my gloves on because I
• 0:48
  do need them to kind of navigate around
• 0:49
  things.
• 0:50
  Um, anyway, it's great to be with you.
• 0:51
  If this is your first time with me,
• 0:52
  I want to say welcome and thank you
• 0:54
  to, uh, you're coming to the show.
• 0:57
  If you're coming back, I definitely want to
• 0:59
  say welcome back.
• 0:59
  I always appreciate those that like my content
• 1:02
  and want to make this part of their
• 1:04
  daily life and diet.
• 1:06
  All right, guys.
• 1:07
  Um, if you have watched the show before,
• 1:09
  or if you haven't feel free to check
• 1:11
  out, believe me, achieve.com.
• 1:12
  We're actually celebrating being on the air four
• 1:15
  years in a row.
• 1:16
  And today, the 21st marks our 21st day
• 1:19
  in the fifth year.
• 1:21
  Other good news.
• 1:23
  Uh, my book is coming along.
• 1:24
  No, I'm not going to tell you the
• 1:25
  title.
• 1:26
  Uh, but, uh, it is starting to come
• 1:28
  along and, uh, very excited to have that
• 1:31
  published before the end of the year.
• 1:33
  And once it does, um, go into print,
• 1:36
  uh, then I'll be happy to tell you
• 1:38
  what the title is, but not until the
• 1:40
  final release is out, it'll also be an
• 1:42
  audio book too on Amazon and whatnot.
• 1:45
  So, uh, yeah.
• 1:46
  All right.
• 1:47
  So it's great to be with you.
• 1:48
  If you are thirsty, if you're hungry or
• 1:50
  whatever it is, feel free to go get
• 1:52
  that and come on back to the show
• 1:54
  without any further ado, guys, I'd like to
• 1:57
  head and kick this show off if that's
• 1:59
  okay with everyone of you.
• 2:00
  Um, so this is all about from stuck
• 2:03
  to unstoppable this week.
• 2:04
  You're global.
• 2:05
  Uh, we're on series five.
• 2:07
  We're a show for, and we're all about
• 2:10
  owning your identity.
• 2:10
  Right.
• 2:11
  Um, so this is a very important thing
• 2:13
  that most people, uh, miss.
• 2:15
  And so I want to welcome you.
• 2:17
  So hello everyone.
• 2:18
  And welcome back to inspirations for your life.
• 2:20
  It's the daily motivational show where growth is
• 2:24
  intentional.
• 2:25
  Mindset is powerful and success is built from
• 2:29
  the inside out.
• 2:30
  I'm your host, John Seymour, a serial entrepreneur,
• 2:33
  engineer, marketing specialist, video producer, podcast host, coach,
• 2:40
  graduate student, and yes, a passionate lifelong learner
• 2:43
  and is my privilege and pleasure to be
• 2:45
  with you today or this evening in this
• 2:46
  show exists for one reason to help you
• 2:48
  stop living on autopilot and start living with
• 2:51
  purpose, confidence, and direction.
• 2:55
  Over the years of building businesses, coaching individuals,
• 2:59
  uh, producing media and continuously learning.
• 3:02
  I've discovered that the biggest ships don't start
• 3:07
  with hustle.
• 3:08
  They start with identity.
• 3:10
  Yes.
• 3:11
  So today's show is, uh, all about owning
• 3:14
  your identity, treating your life like it matters
• 3:18
  because you know, ladies, gentlemen, it does matter.
• 3:20
  So, um, and we think about things like
• 3:23
  what hurts you, what doesn't hurt you.
• 3:25
  And I think those are, I think those
• 3:27
  are very, um, important things that a lot
• 3:30
  of us sometimes don't understand.
• 3:32
  And we are on campus.
• 3:33
  So if we get some extra noise, cause
• 3:35
  we could, there could be students around and
• 3:36
  things like that.
• 3:38
  Um, I do apologize, but again, we're not
• 3:40
  in a controlled environment.
• 3:41
  So I just want to let you guys
• 3:42
  know that right from the get go, there
• 3:45
  could be people walking, people talking.
• 3:47
  Um, I try to always pick a quiet
• 3:49
  spot, but sometimes guys, uh, well, sometimes I
• 3:53
  can't find a quiet spot.
• 3:56
  Uh, as you know, uh, snow is coming
• 3:58
  up.
• 3:58
  I mean, I know if you watch this
• 3:59
  in the summer, you're gonna be like, what
• 3:59
  is he talking about?
• 4:00
  But yeah, we have some weather, um, that's
• 4:03
  going to be affecting us probably.
• 4:04
  So I think that's a very interesting thing.
• 4:06
  What's going on.
• 4:07
  And, uh, yeah, it's going to be very
• 4:10
  interesting what happens in the next couple of
• 4:12
  days.
• 4:12
  So, um, treat yourself casually.
• 4:16
  Um, everything changes.
• 4:18
  So you're not random.
• 4:19
  You are walking.
• 4:21
  Yes.
• 4:22
  A walking assignment.
• 4:23
  Nothing about you guys is accidental.
• 4:27
  I don't know if you guys know that
• 4:28
  nothing about you is accidental and maybe you're
• 4:32
  saying to me, John, like, I don't quite
• 4:34
  get all this.
• 4:35
  I don't quite understand this.
• 4:38
  And I hear you.
• 4:40
  All right.
• 4:40
  I hear you because you know, you're trying
• 4:43
  to figure out maybe not only, um, what
• 4:46
  to do today, but what is it that
• 4:48
  your life's purpose is about?
• 4:50
  And I think sometimes people, regardless of their
• 4:53
  age or what discipline they're in or what
• 4:55
  they're studying or what nationality or what race,
• 4:59
  religion, color, orientation, all those things, they all
• 5:02
  affect what you want to study, what you
• 5:05
  want to be, who you want to be,
• 5:07
  we talked about that the other day, right,
• 5:08
  discovering who you want to be, not who
• 5:12
  everybody else wants you to be, but who
• 5:15
  you want to be in life.
• 5:17
  And I think that's a, I think that's
• 5:18
  a very, um, important question is who do
• 5:23
  you want to be?
• 5:24
  So using what hurt you as fuel instead
• 5:28
  of weight, I think sometimes, you know, that
• 5:31
  can be a little bit of a challenge
• 5:33
  for a lot of people.
• 5:35
  Um, and I say this to you because
• 5:37
  it's important, right?
• 5:38
  It's all about the unstoppable error.
• 5:39
  We talked about, you're not random.
• 5:41
  Your life has purpose, guys.
• 5:43
  Your life has a purpose.
• 5:45
  And I think you need to realize that
• 5:47
  your life truly does have a purpose.
• 5:51
  Okay.
• 5:51
  Um, you're not here accidentally.
• 5:53
  Um, and so even your struggles, they're shaping
• 5:57
  who you are.
• 5:59
  Act, ladies, gentlemen, like your life is important
• 6:02
  because you know what?
• 6:03
  It is extremely, extremely important.
• 6:06
  I mean, this, um, your life is very,
• 6:10
  very, very, um, important.
• 6:12
  And if you don't get that concept or
• 6:15
  that point, you're going to miss a very
• 6:18
  big part of your life because it's when
• 6:21
  you take yourself seriously.
• 6:23
  Your decisions sharpen.
• 6:25
  Now, I don't mean that you need to
• 6:28
  be like analyzing every second of your life.
• 6:30
  I mean, you need to take your path
• 6:33
  seriously.
• 6:33
  What you want to be, who you want
• 6:35
  to be.
• 6:36
  I think that's a, I think that's something
• 6:38
  that a lot of people, I don't know.
• 6:40
  I think, I think they just don't get
• 6:41
  it for some reason.
• 6:42
  And I want to say this because sometimes,
• 6:46
  uh, people go on this, well, they go
• 6:49
  on this rampage, right?
• 6:50
  The rampage of like, who am I, what
• 6:52
  am I doing?
• 6:53
  What am I not doing?
• 6:55
  Um, why don't we focus on what you're
• 6:57
  doing?
• 6:57
  Right.
• 6:58
  And I think when we understand what you're
• 6:59
  doing, right, then other things will actually start
• 7:02
  to make sense in your life.
• 7:05
  So owning your identity is not a hard
• 7:09
  thing, but it's something you've got to be
• 7:11
  conscious of and you cannot be on autopilot
• 7:13
  when you are doing this.
• 7:15
  I just, I've got to be upfront about
• 7:16
  that.
• 7:16
  You have to realize that it is truly
• 7:19
  about you.
• 7:21
  Okay.
• 7:22
  It's truly about your choices.
• 7:24
  And with these choices, you can decide to
• 7:27
  do something or to not do something.
• 7:29
  I mean, that, that's something that is totally
• 7:31
  in your court, right?
• 7:32
  The ball is in your court.
• 7:34
  You can decide to sit home on the
• 7:35
  couch.
• 7:36
  You can go for a walk.
• 7:37
  You can do exercises.
• 7:38
  You can go back to school like I
• 7:40
  did, and you can decide what do you
• 7:42
  want in your And if you say to
• 7:45
  me, John, I don't know what I want
• 7:46
  in my life, then maybe you need to
• 7:48
  take a time out and figure out what's
• 7:51
  going to go on in your life.
• 7:53
  Like what is the purpose of your life
• 7:55
  from the sequence of like what you want?
• 7:58
  Right.
• 7:58
  I think those are the important things I
• 8:00
  want to share.
• 8:00
  Right.
• 8:01
  So your pain can be either your prison
• 8:04
  or your power source.
• 8:06
  You didn't go through all that just to
• 8:08
  stay home.
• 8:09
  You know, you did this so that you
• 8:12
  could evolve.
• 8:14
  Turn why me into watch me, right?
• 8:18
  Uh, turn that whole message of, okay, I
• 8:21
  get the why, but instead of saying why
• 8:24
  me, maybe we should say something else like,
• 8:26
  you know, what did I learn from this
• 8:28
  specific, this particular situation?
• 8:30
  Like, what did I learn?
• 8:31
  Right.
• 8:32
  And you had to learn something.
• 8:33
  Don't say, why is me?
• 8:35
  Right.
• 8:35
  You are not what happened to you.
• 8:38
  You're what you decide to become.
• 8:41
  All right.
• 8:41
  Let me say that again.
• 8:42
  You're not what happened to you.
• 8:44
  You're what you decide to become.
• 8:46
  The same story that once broke you can
• 8:49
  well, one day build others like I do.
• 8:53
  And I support people and I grow them.
• 8:55
  Right.
• 8:55
  Turn your triggers guys into training.
• 8:58
  That's the hypnosis side of me speaking.
• 9:00
  Uh, turn your triggers into training because you
• 9:03
  know, you can rewrite these triggers anytime you
• 9:05
  want.
• 9:05
  You are allowed to heal and still remember.
• 9:09
  Yes, you are.
• 9:09
  You're allowed to heal and still remember what
• 9:14
  if your worst day becomes someone's survival guide.
• 9:17
  You might say, oh my gosh, this was
• 9:18
  a terrible day.
• 9:19
  I don't know what I'm going to do,
• 9:20
  but maybe it helps save somebody's life.
• 9:22
  Maybe it turns somebody around to go back
• 9:24
  to school, or maybe it gave somebody hope
• 9:27
  to, Oh, keep living.
• 9:31
  Um, I actually did, uh, suicide counseling and
• 9:34
  I was on a nine one, one crisis
• 9:35
  line many years ago.
• 9:37
  And I got to tell you, um, that's
• 9:39
  a scary place when people are conflicting, you
• 9:42
  know, do they take their life or not?
• 9:43
  Because your choice sometimes can happen because you
• 9:47
  think that, you know, um, you can't do
• 9:51
  anymore.
• 9:51
  So you get frustrated.
• 9:52
  You just need a timeout, right?
• 9:54
  Everybody needs a timeout sometimes.
• 9:56
  And I think that's a, an important thing.
• 9:57
  So you're allowed to heal and still remember
• 10:00
  that.
• 10:01
  As I said to you, stop hiding your
• 10:03
  story.
• 10:04
  It might be the lifeline someone else is
• 10:06
  scrolling for.
• 10:07
  So be open to sharing it, hurt people,
• 10:12
  hurt people, but heal people, heal people.
• 10:15
  So we can talk about this, whether people
• 10:17
  were stealing, maybe the people were, uh, let's
• 10:19
  say killing people, people that have a hurt
• 10:22
  mindset.
• 10:23
  If we don't work on healing it, it
• 10:26
  becomes contagious and then they do it.
• 10:29
  And then they don't know why they're doing
• 10:30
  it, but it becomes part of their psyche
• 10:32
  and their body and their subconscious and they're
• 10:34
  doing things they don't really want to do,
• 10:37
  but they're doing it because of the environment
• 10:39
  they got placed in.
• 10:40
  Right.
• 10:40
  This happens to many, many people.
• 10:45
  Um, you'll stop resenting your past, ladies and
• 10:48
  gentlemen, when you start using it, okay, when
• 10:51
  you start using it means you'll start learning
• 10:54
  what the lesson is.
• 10:55
  Okay.
• 10:55
  And go from there.
• 10:56
  That's important.
• 10:57
  Okay.
• 10:58
  Very important.
• 10:59
  Um, you did not deserve the pain, but
• 11:03
  you did deserve the growth.
• 11:04
  And so let's not cry about the pain
• 11:06
  we went through or the, the challenges with
• 11:08
  their emotional, physical, mental, whatever they were, uh,
• 11:12
  be glad that you learned those lessons.
• 11:14
  Okay.
• 11:15
  Um, your scars are proof that you're stronger
• 11:20
  than what tried to end you.
• 11:22
  Some people that was their life.
• 11:24
  Unfortunately, some people, it was, um, a venture.
• 11:27
  Some people, it was a dream when you
• 11:32
  get resilient.
• 11:33
  And when you see all the things you've
• 11:35
  done in the past, realize you are a
• 11:39
  unique human being and you are able to
• 11:43
  create your dreams.
• 11:45
  Okay.
• 11:48
  You're not too sensitive.
• 11:50
  You've just been deeply impacted.
• 11:52
  And when you get impact, it's like a
• 11:54
  wow moment.
• 11:55
  Right.
• 11:55
  And overwhelmingly, you don't know what to do
• 11:57
  or how to say it.
• 11:58
  So, um, that's important guys.
• 12:01
  Um, turn your heartbreak right into higher standards,
• 12:08
  a higher standard for you to become smarter,
• 12:11
  wiser for you to, uh, maybe be more
• 12:13
  compassionate, uh, helpful, caring, right?
• 12:18
  Those are the things that we want to
• 12:20
  do.
• 12:20
  We want to share those types of things
• 12:22
  in our life.
• 12:23
  That's important.
• 12:23
  Okay.
• 12:24
  Turn your rejection guys into, into redirection.
• 12:27
  I know a lot of you want to
• 12:28
  cry and you want to complain about, you
• 12:30
  know, what was me or this person did
• 12:32
  this to me, or they broke up with
• 12:34
  me or my girlfriend or my boyfriend, whatever
• 12:36
  it is, you know, you want to blame
• 12:37
  it on them.
• 12:38
  Let's not look to blame things on others.
• 12:41
  Let's use that as an opportunity.
• 12:43
  So we can reorient ourselves and redirect very
• 12:47
  similar to the way we do in the
• 12:48
  car with a GPS system.
• 12:50
  So I think that's a, I think that's
• 12:52
  a very important thing.
• 12:53
  You can both feel the, the wound and
• 12:57
  build the future.
• 12:58
  Yeah, you can do that guys.
• 13:00
  You're allowed to rewrite what love success and
• 13:03
  safety mean to you.
• 13:04
  Anytime you don't need to stop because you
• 13:07
  said, Oh, I'm ready done with that chapter.
• 13:09
  No, we never done with that chapter.
• 13:11
  And the chapter can always be reopened at
• 13:13
  any time if you want it to.
• 13:16
  Okay.
• 13:16
  That's the key guys.
• 13:17
  If you want it to, if you don't
• 13:19
  want it to, then you can leave that
• 13:21
  chapter closed, but I encourage you to think
• 13:23
  about it because it's going to make some,
• 13:25
  some differences in your life, really, really, really
• 13:30
  big differences.
• 13:31
  So you're allowed to rewrite, like I said,
• 13:33
  what love success and safety means to you.
• 13:36
  Um, the things that once made you feel
• 13:38
  powerless can become well, your superpower today.
• 13:42
  Right.
• 13:43
  And I think that's another thing that we
• 13:44
  need to think about.
• 13:45
  Our superpowers, um, are not like the ones
• 13:49
  that, you know, Batman, Robin and Superman had.
• 13:52
  Our superpowers are different things.
• 13:54
  They're like intuition.
• 13:56
  Uh, they're like caring, uh, compassion, right.
• 14:01
  Understanding, um, reasoning, that's our superpowers.
• 14:06
  Those are real great superpowers.
• 14:08
  What broke you also broke your tolerance for
• 14:11
  nonsense.
• 14:12
  And you don't want any more of this
• 14:14
  in your life.
• 14:16
  You don't.
• 14:17
  And so if you don't want it in
• 14:18
  your life anymore, then let's realize that we
• 14:21
  need to stop all the nonsense, we've got
• 14:25
  to stop it and we got to realize
• 14:28
  what it's about now, not what it was
• 14:32
  about, but what it is about now.
• 14:34
  And I think that can make a huge
• 14:35
  difference because as I said, what broke you
• 14:37
  also broke your tolerance for nonsense.
• 14:39
  You don't want nonsense.
• 14:40
  You don't want people.
• 14:41
  They're going to play games in your life.
• 14:43
  You want people that are going to be
• 14:46
  full of integrity, people that are going to
• 14:47
  be accountable.
• 14:48
  But sometimes going through this, uh, enigma of
• 14:51
  life, we don't know who those people are,
• 14:54
  we don't know when they're going to turn
• 14:56
  up, we don't know what their true intentions
• 14:58
  are, so maybe we tread a little lightly.
• 15:01
  Uh, my advice here is be a little
• 15:03
  vulnerable, you know, don't open the whole kitchen
• 15:05
  sink and the whole house, but be a
• 15:07
  little vulnerable, share a little bit, see if
• 15:10
  they share and go from there and, and
• 15:12
  judge that.
• 15:12
  I think that's a, uh, and I don't
• 15:14
  mean judge in the sense that they're bad.
• 15:16
  I mean, judge that and say, is this
• 15:17
  someone I should be around?
• 15:19
  You never judge the person you judge is
• 15:21
  this good energy for you.
• 15:22
  That's the most important thing.
• 15:23
  You didn't waste years.
• 15:25
  You were learning what you'll never settle for
• 15:28
  again.
• 15:29
  And I think that's a hard point when
• 15:31
  we say settle.
• 15:33
  Um, I've talked about living.
• 15:35
  I've talked about surviving and I've talked about
• 15:37
  thriving.
• 15:38
  Those of us out there that understand, you
• 15:41
  know, what we need to do every day
• 15:42
  to, to live, to survive.
• 15:46
  It's not the same thing we do when
• 15:48
  we want to survive does you meet a
• 15:51
  survive versus thrive?
• 15:52
  Excuse me.
• 15:53
  So, um, doing what we do to survive
• 15:55
  is not the same for thrive.
• 15:57
  Yes.
• 15:57
  We have to do that beer minute, but
• 15:58
  we have to do a little more than
• 16:00
  that.
• 16:01
  Okay.
• 16:02
  So we can turn the corner, right?
• 16:05
  We can basically get ahead of the curve.
• 16:08
  I like to say a little bit ahead
• 16:09
  of the curve.
• 16:10
  So your evolution will a little confused people
• 16:13
  who only know you from your pain.
• 16:17
  But when you evolve, when people see that
• 16:21
  you're more than the person that was broke
• 16:23
  the leg, you're more than that person that,
• 16:26
  you know, had that, um, unfortunate situation in
• 16:30
  your life, you are more than that.
• 16:33
  You are more than the person that is
• 16:35
  walking on the sidewalk.
• 16:36
  You're more than that person.
• 16:38
  Um, that, you know, um, let's say, uh,
• 16:43
  is on a football team or on a
• 16:45
  sports team.
• 16:46
  You're more than that person.
• 16:48
  You're a lot more.
• 16:49
  I think that's something we have to appreciate
• 16:52
  guys.
• 16:52
  We have to appreciate that.
• 16:54
  So they said your evolution will confuse people
• 16:57
  who only knew your pain.
• 16:59
  Now that people are seeing that, you know,
• 17:01
  that was just one part of you and
• 17:03
  your pain does not define you.
• 17:05
  So your pain actually is a marker for
• 17:08
  you to change the course of your direction
• 17:11
  and go that way.
• 17:15
  You're not being dramatic.
• 17:17
  You're being transformed.
• 17:19
  And I know you probably talk to some
• 17:21
  people and they're full of drama.
• 17:23
  You know, those people, right?
• 17:24
  There's a difference between being excited about life
• 17:27
  and making a change.
• 17:28
  And then trying to make what I'm doing
• 17:30
  in my life, like on Broadway, like I
• 17:32
  was like, Oh, this is what I'm doing.
• 17:33
  And this is what I'm doing.
• 17:34
  You have to make, no, that's being dramatic,
• 17:37
  right?
• 17:37
  Um, you are okay to be passionate.
• 17:40
  You're okay to tell people, but you don't
• 17:41
  need to like have them live every moment
• 17:45
  of it.
• 17:45
  All right.
• 17:46
  That's, that's really important because it's not the
• 17:49
  drama that's going to heal you.
• 17:51
  It's your inner direction.
• 17:53
  It's your choice.
• 17:54
  It's your belief.
• 17:54
  Okay.
• 17:55
  So you're not being dramatic.
• 17:57
  You're just being transformed.
• 18:00
  Turning your pain into purpose is one of
• 18:02
  the real glow ups of this week.
• 18:05
  We say pain because we've heard the word
• 18:06
  pain.
• 18:07
  I also want to use the word discomfort.
• 18:10
  Um, I learned that from a oral surgeon
• 18:12
  many years ago.
• 18:13
  When I say it's going to be pain,
• 18:14
  he says, John, he says, there's not going
• 18:15
  to be any pain.
• 18:15
  You're going to experience discomfort.
• 18:17
  It's going to feel different.
• 18:18
  It might feel funny, but it wasn't pain.
• 18:21
  It was discomfort.
• 18:23
  And that was hard for me to wrestle
• 18:27
  with until I realized I was going, um,
• 18:31
  to a movie with some friends.
• 18:32
  And I remember going to this movie.
• 18:33
  It was in Willowbrook, New Jersey.
• 18:35
  And I remember going to this movie and
• 18:36
  actually went to dinner.
• 18:38
  And, uh, we went somewhere where we could
• 18:40
  just kind of like take the, you know,
• 18:41
  the spaghetti and cause I really couldn't chew
• 18:45
  or anything.
• 18:45
  Right.
• 18:46
  And so my medicine was supposed to wear
• 18:48
  off right around, I don't know, maybe around
• 18:51
  seven o'clock.
• 18:52
  Well, I noticed now it's like eight 30
• 18:54
  and I was about to pop another one
• 18:56
  of the, uh, medications.
• 18:57
  I was like, wait a minute.
• 18:58
  I just looked at it already wore off.
• 19:00
  And I was like, all right, it feels
• 19:02
  a little bit.
• 19:02
  It feels a little bit different, but it's
• 19:06
  not pain.
• 19:07
  It's just some like weird feeling or it's
• 19:09
  discomfort.
• 19:10
  So I think when we know that, um,
• 19:13
  something's going to feel different, we assume pain
• 19:16
  because that's how we're trained, but we should
• 19:18
  understand that discomfort is not pain.
• 19:21
  It's just not what we're used to.
• 19:24
  So I've said to you, the success lies
• 19:26
  when we get uncomfortable, right?
• 19:28
  I've said that like millions and millions of
• 19:30
  times.
• 19:30
  So, um, ladies, gentlemen, you don't not heal
• 19:33
  by pretending it didn't happen.
• 19:36
  You heal by deciding it doesn't own you.
• 19:39
  Another way of saying that is detach.
• 19:42
  When we detach from the memories and we
• 19:45
  detach from what's going on, our life changes
• 19:50
  and it no longer controls us or has
• 19:54
  any influence on us.
• 19:56
  All you have to do is detach.
• 19:58
  If it was a person you don't want
• 20:00
  to have any more of an impact on
• 20:01
  your life, detach from them and you'll see
• 20:04
  that whatever they do doesn't really affect you
• 20:07
  anymore.
• 20:08
  That's a, that's a very priceless piece of
• 20:10
  advice.
• 20:10
  I hope you guys will, uh, definitely, uh,
• 20:13
  follow.
• 20:14
  So again, you don't heal by pretending it
• 20:16
  didn't happen.
• 20:18
  You heal by deciding it doesn't own you.
• 20:20
  And another way of saying that is you
• 20:22
  heal by detaching from the things that you
• 20:24
  do not want to control or affect your
• 20:26
  life.
• 20:27
  The things that you want to embrace, control
• 20:29
  your life.
• 20:29
  Yeah.
• 20:30
  Attached to those.
• 20:31
  And it's not just people.
• 20:33
  It's things you do in your life.
• 20:36
  Uh, those can be experiences.
• 20:38
  Those could be activities, could be sports, whatever
• 20:40
  it is.
• 20:41
  Okay.
• 20:42
  Figure out what they are.
• 20:44
  Detach from what you feel is a problem
• 20:46
  and attach to those things that, um, make
• 20:50
  you feel good.
• 20:51
  Cause you want to feel more of that,
• 20:53
  right?
• 20:53
  We want to feel good.
• 20:54
  Your next level requires a lighter emotional suitcase.
• 20:59
  No, I'm not talking about a suitcase.
• 21:00
  You take on a plane or a trip.
• 21:03
  I'm saying you need to have less of
• 21:07
  an ego.
• 21:08
  You need to keep your emotions in check.
• 21:10
  It's okay to have our emotions, uh, out
• 21:13
  when we need to, but we can't make
• 21:15
  every moment the emotional moment.
• 21:18
  Um, one wise person told me, John, when
• 21:22
  you make a decision, such as like hiring
• 21:25
  somebody or firing somebody, don't make it emotionally,
• 21:29
  make it logically based on their skill level,
• 21:33
  based on a personality, but don't get attached
• 21:35
  to the personality.
• 21:38
  Get attached to what will work.
• 21:41
  Maybe the person's trying to win you over
• 21:43
  and that's going to be like pest recipe
• 21:47
  for failure.
• 21:47
  Because now they're going to think that because
• 21:51
  your friends, and I always said that when
• 21:52
  you're an employer or manager, you can't really
• 21:54
  be friends with that person.
• 21:55
  You have to detach.
• 21:59
  Okay.
• 22:01
  Uh, this happens a lot in coaching.
• 22:03
  Even though people see me as their friend,
• 22:04
  I'm not their friend.
• 22:05
  I'm somebody that is going to tell them
• 22:08
  they need to get off their butt.
• 22:09
  They need to do stuff.
• 22:10
  They need to stop being lazy.
• 22:11
  They need to stop making excuses for themselves
• 22:13
  because those that make excuses for themselves, guess
• 22:16
  what are part of the problem when you
• 22:19
  keep making excuses and when you are not
• 22:21
  part of the solution, unfortunately, guys, you are
• 22:23
  part of the problem.
• 22:26
  And I know you might be just like
• 22:27
  blowing it off.
• 22:27
  Like it's nothing, but that's the real secret
• 22:30
  guys.
• 22:31
  If you're not part of the solution, part
• 22:33
  of the problem.
• 22:34
  Yep.
• 22:35
  Your story isn't over guys.
• 22:36
  That plot twist was just a character development,
• 22:40
  or should I say a redevelopment?
• 22:42
  Maybe you read a chapter in a book.
• 22:43
  I'm like, I don't like this.
• 22:44
  Do you stop reading the book?
• 22:45
  No, because you like the preface or you
• 22:49
  like the plot and you're hoping it's going
• 22:52
  to get better.
• 22:52
  Right?
• 22:53
  So I think that's a, that's another important
• 22:55
  one I want to share with you is
• 22:56
  your story isn't over the plot.
• 22:58
  Just twist was just a character development and
• 23:01
  maybe people didn't like your plot twist.
• 23:03
  Okay.
• 23:04
  So what?
• 23:04
  Who cares?
• 23:06
  Not everybody's going to like everything you do
• 23:08
  in life.
• 23:08
  And I said to you, as long as
• 23:09
  you don't harm or hurt another people or
• 23:11
  disrespect someone else, you could do whatever you
• 23:13
  want or break any laws, right?
• 23:15
  Obviously.
• 23:16
  Uh, so that, that's an important one.
• 23:17
  If it didn't ruin you, it refined you.
• 23:20
  Let me say that again.
• 23:21
  If the experience didn't ruin you, it refined
• 23:25
  you.
• 23:25
  So in my book, that's coming out and
• 23:27
  I'm not telling you the title, but I
• 23:28
  am going to tell you something, which I
• 23:30
  think is interesting.
• 23:31
  I'm going to share two life changing events.
• 23:34
  And because of those, I redirected my entire
• 23:38
  life.
• 23:39
  Um, even though I was on a certain
• 23:41
  path and I was going one way, I
• 23:44
  had to just maybe take a little bit
• 23:47
  of a detour and then back because there
• 23:50
  were things in the road and I kept
• 23:52
  bumping into them every time I was going
• 23:54
  forward.
• 23:56
  And the reason I didn't want to move
• 23:58
  is because I felt I might harm somebody.
• 24:01
  I felt they might hurt somebody.
• 24:03
  I felt that maybe I needed to do
• 24:06
  what I need to do for the one
• 24:07
  purpose that if I didn't do those things,
• 24:10
  then what would happen is I actually would
• 24:13
  feel bad because I didn't feel that way.
• 24:16
  Right.
• 24:16
  I didn't feel that way.
• 24:17
  And if I am going to be that
• 24:19
  way, just to try to be nice to
• 24:21
  people, that's not the way life works.
• 24:23
  Guys.
• 24:24
  As I said to Yamada campus here, and
• 24:26
  we have people walking around.
• 24:27
  Like I said, that's one of the things
• 24:28
  we're not in a studio today.
• 24:29
  So again, I do apologize for that.
• 24:31
  Um, you are living proof that pain discomfort
• 24:34
  can become your power.
• 24:36
  Look at the ones in the past.
• 24:38
  Look at the ones in the past and
• 24:40
  the ones in the past have elevated you
• 24:43
  to a new level.
• 24:46
  Now that's not just John telling you that
• 24:48
  look at some things in your life.
• 24:49
  Look at some times when you said, Oh
• 24:51
  my gosh, I'm never going to get out
• 24:53
  of this.
• 24:53
  And guess what you did.
• 24:55
  Right.
• 24:56
  So if you got out of those things
• 24:57
  in the past, it's a very good chance.
• 25:00
  You're going to get out of them in
• 25:01
  the future of other new things.
• 25:03
  And most times nine out of 10 problems
• 25:05
  that you worry about actually wind up going
• 25:08
  to a ditch before they even rear their
• 25:10
  heads.
• 25:11
  I think that's a, an important thing for
• 25:14
  us to understand.
• 25:15
  And I don't care whether you're a student,
• 25:17
  whether you're a parent, whether you're.
• 25:20
  Uh, uh, working a job, whether you're an
• 25:23
  entrepreneur or a serial entrepreneur like myself.
• 25:25
  I don't care what it is, guys.
• 25:27
  It comes from the choices in our life.
• 25:29
  And these choices in our life make the
• 25:32
  difference to who we are, to who we
• 25:36
  are.
• 25:36
  And to not only that, but what we
• 25:39
  will become.
• 25:41
  So your choices impact your life by basically
• 25:46
  who you are and what you will become.
• 25:49
  Some people might not like that new you.
• 25:52
  Maybe they like the old you because you
• 25:56
  are being so weak, or maybe you're being
• 25:58
  too kind.
• 25:58
  And I've said to you before, um, please
• 26:00
  do not take my kindness for weakness.
• 26:02
  For when I see that starting to happen,
• 26:05
  I change.
• 26:07
  I don't get nasty, but I get a
• 26:09
  little more assertive.
• 26:10
  And I think I'll be, Oh, I can
• 26:12
  just do it.
• 26:12
  Oh, John's a nice guy.
• 26:13
  And for years, I'm always a nice guy,
• 26:16
  but I realized I can't let people control
• 26:21
  me like a puppet.
• 26:23
  Right.
• 26:24
  I learned that many years ago too.
• 26:25
  Uh, and so I think when we can
• 26:28
  be serious about our direction, the fact that
• 26:31
  we want success, the fact that we want
• 26:34
  to make the choice to thrive.
• 26:36
  Now you have a choice.
• 26:37
  Do you want to survive or you want
• 26:39
  to thrive?
• 26:39
  So when you thrive, you automatically survive, but
• 26:41
  you thrive.
• 26:42
  You're a lot more than just surviving.
• 26:45
  That's very powerful guys, extremely powerful.
• 26:49
  And I hope that this means something to
• 26:51
  you.
• 26:51
  All right.
• 26:52
  Um, and you've got to think about your
• 26:56
  core values.
• 26:57
  Once you think about those core values, then,
• 26:59
  and only then can you actually move forward.
• 27:02
  So again, I'm on the beautiful campus here
• 27:04
  of Montgomery university.
• 27:05
  I'm right outside, uh, the student center, which
• 27:08
  much of you guys can see.
• 27:10
  Uh, again, um, we're supposed to get some
• 27:13
  bad weather and, uh, I picked this area
• 27:15
  because it was clean and it looks like
• 27:18
  it kind of, uh, withheld a lot of
• 27:20
  mess because sometimes the other areas have benches
• 27:22
  and stuff, but then they're, they're full of
• 27:23
  snow and stuff like that.
• 27:25
  So I think that's a important thing.
• 27:26
  So ladies and gentlemen, I am John C.
• 27:28
  Morley, serial entrepreneur.
• 27:30
  You know, it's always such a privilege.
• 27:31
  It's a pleasure.
• 27:32
  It's an honor to be with you guys.
• 27:33
  Every time I go live or I produce
• 27:35
  content for you, I hope that you will
• 27:37
  take this decision seriously.
• 27:40
  That uses what might appear to hurt you,
• 27:42
  or it might appear to cause you discomfort
• 27:44
  or pain in some people's eyes.
• 27:47
  You'll change that around and learn how you
• 27:51
  can redirect your life to become even more
• 27:54
  successful.
• 27:55
  Have yourself a great one and check out,
• 27:57
  believemeachieved.com for my amazing, inspiring creations.
• 28:00
  Be well, everyone.