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Leading Through Life Transitions: Moving Forward Before You Feel Ready · The Boujee Multipreneur

• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hi, welcome back to the Bougie Multipreneur.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Hillary, and this is our final episode in the series Leading Through Life Transitions.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there could be more later coming, but we're just doing the four right now.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had mentioned in the other ones, I have a lot of life transitions lately.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, we all do, let's be honest.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: But we need to talk about it and actually apply it and start moving forward before you feel ready.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's what today's about is just moving forward before you feel ready.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because most people believe this, that they say, I'll take action when I feel clear, when I feel ready, right?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is that clarity comes after the action, not before.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to really sit with this because if you've been waiting and you've been waiting for something that only comes after you move, you won't know until you'd make the move.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so let's think of a time where you maybe kept waiting and waiting for something to happen and it and it didn't, right?
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: So for instance, when I start any business, I never feel ready.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: I always feel like, is this the right time?
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, do I have enough money?
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do I have enough energy?
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Who's gonna help me?
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Do I even know?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes it's a gut feeling, and I'm like, yes, let's just jump in and do this.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing's clear.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't just start with a business plan.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: It starts with an idea and it it unfolds and you I jump on it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: When something feels right and it's easy to do, that's when you know it it's the right move.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Or what about like parents?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Has there been a time when you quote felt ready to have kids?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, no one feels ready to go through all that, but you you do, you you make the move, you take action, and then afterwards, the clarity of like, yes, this was the right choice for our family.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: How could we have lived without this little bundle of joy, right?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, I mean, that's a big, a big life decision right there.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: But the point is, there's times in your life where you took action and then the clarity followed afterwards.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: So think about something like that.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: So let's walk through how this actually works.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: You take a step, you learn something, you adjust, you take another step, and over time things start to make sense, right?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: How many times have we, and especially me, started or tried something and failed?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: You learn from it.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, we learn from mistakes, right?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's nice if we didn't have mistakes, but I mean, I don't know who's listening out here that doesn't make mistakes, but I make them a lot.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: I joke and say, like, oh, that's my one mistake for the year, but it's not.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but what happens when you don't move?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: You don't make those leaps and jumps and you don't step forward.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: You stay stuck.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: You're in overthinking mode, you have doubt, fear, and the what-ifs creep in, right?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're just stuck in there.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Waiting doesn't protect you, it keeps you stuck.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So here's something I want you to understand momentum creates confidence, not the other way around.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Once you start moving, you feel more capable, you feel more in control, you start trusting yourself again.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's the little steps, right?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: The baby steps.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So step by step, you start doing and feeling and you know, getting better.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: So, for instance, I know I've talked about this in previous ones, but currently I'm going through a divorce as I'm recording this.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: But um, my most recent big life change that happened prior to this big life change um was my father passing away, and my mindset was off, my confidence, my energy, like everything was just so off and the creativity and clarity gone.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I just started little by little.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: I actually took off so much time from work.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I never thought I would be that person because I love my patients, I love my team, I love going to work, but I just didn't want to get out of bed, really.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And little by little I started doing things, going to work more.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: I had no energy, no creativity, and I didn't honestly see a lot of patience because I'd I'd feel bad being around people with negative energy.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want that.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want it to like rub off on anyone else.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm an empath and I don't I don't want to be around it and I don't want to give it to anyone else, but little by little, you know.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if the mornings are the best time for me, then that's when I do it.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: If the afternoons are better, then that's what I'm gonna do.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I really had to watch and record how I felt during the day.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And even as I'm doing this in the early morning hours, my morning is the best for me.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's quiet.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: I the anxiety hasn't started yet today, maybe.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel a little bit more like myself and I feel hopeful and happy.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: I feel as much in control of my life as I possibly can because you know, you guys, I I love control type A right here.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um step by step, I feel more capable of doing things and I start trusting myself and my ideas.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: So midday and after, I am not creative.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I'm all over the place.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm scatterbrained.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: The what ifs start to creep in.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I really find that for me, I really have to do my best energy and my best creativity work in the mornings.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't need a perfect plan.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need all the answers, you don't need everything to make sense.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to move.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Baby steps, right?
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're in a season right now where things feel uncertain, and moving forward doesn't mean rushing, it's not a huge leap and bounds, just a little step.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean forcing things to happen.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: It just take the next step, even if it's small.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's just you want to start a podcast and you just start by jotting down ideas because the whole thought of a whole podcast seems overwhelming to you.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Just little ideas, just get some little things going.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: You are just not stuck, you're just paused, and you have more control than you think.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: I repeat this stuff to myself.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: I am not stuck.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just paused.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: I have more control than I think.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when life turns things up and down for you, you feel out of control.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: You feel like I always tell people, I feel like I'm in a ping, like um, no, like one of those machines where the ball like dings around it's like ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Pinball, pinball machine.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's how my brain feels, especially as the day goes on.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why for me, I have to do my baby steps in the morning and have control over as much as I can throughout the day.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: That makes me feel good.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's my lists, and then what I've also learned is that just because I didn't complete a task doesn't mean I can't put it on the next day.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: I've been putting my tasks on my phone and I just move them to the next day.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's still there, it's fine.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'll just do it the next day, and then I don't have to worry about that.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe I just wasn't ready to do this or that today.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, you don't have to feel ready to make that step.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to begin.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you love this series, share it, tag me.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know which episode resonated with you the most.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are navigating a season of growth like I am, or transition or change in your business, I mean, I literally have like all three of those going on at once.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I help my clients with HHJ consulting.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: I personally have a business coach.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: She's wonderful.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: I can't imagine going through these life transitions and growth and everything, positive or negative, without someone there kind of helping me along the way.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: I will see you next time.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you are a moneymaker.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Attract the positive, attract the money, get the flow going.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Everything's gonna work out.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Take the baby step.