Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Do narcissists ever think about you after the relationship ends?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we're answering the question, do narcissists ever
- 0:05think about you? If you're new here, my name is
- 0:08Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:10narcissist. And welcome to another episode
- 0:12of The Narcissist Code. Boom.
- 0:31Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
- 0:32Yes, that is the question of the day isn't do narcissists ever
- 0:36think about you? Do they ever ever do they forget
- 0:40you? Do they get over you?
- 0:41What does it lead? Tell us, tell us, tell us.
- 0:43So let me preface this video right here.
- 0:45Y'all let this be the beginning of the video.
- 0:47This is not me telling you to go back into a toxic relationship
- 0:50because a person might might have thought about you might
- 0:54think about you. This is not me just saying like
- 0:56only if it's been this long and they think about me should I go
- 0:59back. This is not what I'm saying.
- 1:01Well leave man. Like I ain't talked to her in a
- 1:03long time. But like if she's still thinking
- 1:05about me, maybe maybe I should give another.
- 1:06No, this is not y'all. Listen to me.
- 1:09Do not take this as advice to go back into a toxic relationship.
- 1:15Got to see it. Got to see it through grilled
- 1:17teeth, like I said to my teeth grill.
- 1:19But yeah, that is not how it works right there.
- 1:21So do narcissists. Everything about you in a
- 1:23relationship being. A lot of them do, yes.
- 1:26Are there some narcissists they just can try to get you out of
- 1:29their mind. Out of sight, out of mind.
- 1:30Yeah, there are probably some narcissists out there.
- 1:33Out of sight, out of mind, out of cheeks, out of mind.
- 1:36You know what I mean? Out of cheeks, out of weeks.
- 1:39Come back to me on that. I'm going to think of something
- 1:41funnier for that one. But yeah, there are a lot of
- 1:44narcissists that will never ever think about you again, yo, you
- 1:47know, But there are some that. Absolutely.
- 1:49You cross their mind all the time.
- 1:51There are some narcissists that like you could be the one that
- 1:53got away, the one that not only the one that got away, but the
- 1:56one that escaped within these spaces right here.
- 1:59So that's why I'm trying to convey to people is that you
- 2:02might be the one that got away, but they might still think about
- 2:05you all the time. But it but them thinking about
- 2:07you is not necessarily a good thing.
- 2:09Y'all let's keep it real. Them thinking about you could be
- 2:13a bad thing because them them consistently thinking about you
- 2:16could be lead to their obsession.
- 2:19They could be obsessed with you. Like there are a lot of
- 2:22narcissists that think about you after the relationship ends,
- 2:24right? They think they think about you
- 2:26all the time. They cannot get you all off
- 2:28their mind, but they will never act on it, right?
- 2:31You would never know that they're still thinking about
- 2:33you. You might catch them peeking at
- 2:34your profile every once in a while, looking at your Instagram
- 2:37story, your Facebook story, peeking at your TikTok account,
- 2:39whatever it is, right? You might, they might catch you.
- 2:42You might catch them on that space right there.
- 2:44But there are a ton of a metric ton of narcissists, right, That
- 2:50when they think about you, they do ACT on it.
- 2:53A lot of them if they, if they are thinking of you, they you
- 2:58will know that they're thinking about you partner interruption.
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- 3:11back to the video they they can like I said, they can reach out
- 3:14on social media they can text you they can call you they can
- 3:18blow your phone up they can pop up on you they can come to your
- 3:21job they can come to your house they can drive by your house
- 3:24they can pop up in your neighborhood.
- 3:25They can park across the street. Y'all they can, you will know
- 3:29that they're thinking about you because they'll tell you.
- 3:31They'll show you because there's a lot of narcissistic people.
- 3:34No, no, no two narcissists are the same, right?
- 3:36There are a lot of narcissistic people that convey that.
- 3:40Like if I I'm going to show you that I care about you by
- 3:43stalking you. I'm going to show you that I'm
- 3:45thinking about you by popping up on you.
- 3:47I'm going to show you that I'm thinking about you by taking you
- 3:50said you want actions over words.
- 3:52Here's my actions. I miss you.
- 3:54Here I am showing up roses here I'm showing up with with your
- 3:57favorite hibachi, whatever it is right here.
- 4:01I am showing up with some cheat with my cheeks out ready for
- 4:04you. You know they do that.
- 4:06I'm just telling you. But is that the action that
- 4:09you're looking for right there? Them popping up on you?
- 4:11Some of y'all think that's sweet.
- 4:13You know, some of y'all do think it's sweet when they pop up on
- 4:15you out of nowhere. But there are a lot of people
- 4:17just like, you know what? I don't really.
- 4:19I don't really like the fact you pop up on me.
- 4:21This is real stalkerish, you know?
- 4:23This is real stalkerry right here.
- 4:25I don't. I don't like that.
- 4:27There are a lot of people out there who do not like that, and
- 4:29rightfully so. You shouldn't.
- 4:30Yeah, being realistic, you shouldn't like that when they
- 4:33pop up on you, violating your boundaries, you can tell you,
- 4:36you'll know that they're thinking about you.
- 4:38And if I tell you, like, even if they moved on, even if they're
- 4:41in a different relationship, even if they're not, you're not
- 4:43living together anymore, the possibility does exist that they
- 4:46are absolutely thinking about you.
- 4:48They're just be real. The possibility absolutely
- 4:50exists that they're still thinking about you.
- 4:53But like, because again, you could absolutely be the one that
- 4:57got away from it. You could be the one that
- 4:58escaped. You could be the one, you could
- 5:00be the best thing that ever happened to them.
- 5:02Like, but don't take the fact that I'm making this video as
- 5:06like, well, Lee said that they're that they're still
- 5:08thinking about me. So I should reach out or if they
- 5:11reach out to me, maybe I should break no contact.
- 5:13Yeah, that's not what I'm saying.
- 5:15Just because they're thinking about you does not mean that
- 5:17they're they're going to take any type of positive action to
- 5:20get you back into their life. You get you back to get back
- 5:22into your life. Just because they, they're
- 5:25thinking about you doesn't mean that they're going to change
- 5:27their behaviors. A lot of times narcissistic
- 5:30people are waiting on you, waiting on you to take some type
- 5:34of action. Yeah, wait.
- 5:36They, they would rather you, they would rather change you
- 5:38than change themselves. They were it's a very it's, I'm
- 5:41not saying it's impossible, but it's very rare for a narcissist
- 5:45or a toxic person or whatever to change their behaviors for the
- 5:48betterment of someone else, not only for somewhere else, but for
- 5:51themselves, for the betterment of their lives.
- 5:52There's a cluster of cluster B. You know, there's a cluster of
- 5:57narcissists out there who have changed their behaviours for the
- 5:59better. But typically it's not like very
- 6:02rarely do I hear I change for my wife, I change for my husband.
- 6:06It's always the change was forced upon him in some way,
- 6:09shape or form. They change for themselves.
- 6:11They change their behaviour for themselves, not fully changed
- 6:13because once a narcissist, I would truly be once a
- 6:15narcissist, always a narcissist. But that doesn't mean when I say
- 6:19once a narcissist always a narcissist, it doesn't always
- 6:21mean like once, once the narcissist is always evil.
- 6:23It doesn't mean that. I'm not saying that at all.
- 6:25I'm saying once a narcissist always, you're always going to
- 6:27be in self-defense mode. You're always going to be in
- 6:30protection mode. You're always going to be doing
- 6:31that type of stuff right there. That, that that's how it goes in
- 6:34that space right there. So I'm dealing with people when
- 6:37I tell people this right here, this is what you have to prepare
- 6:39for. Because again, most narcissists
- 6:42are going to behave their way. Most narcissists are going to
- 6:45act their way. Most narcissists are going to do
- 6:46that because just because they're thinking about you does
- 6:49not mean that they're going to be better for you.
- 6:52And I know y'all, when I think that they might actually send
- 6:55you a text message out of nowhere, it says just thinking
- 6:57about you anyway, what do you do with that?
- 7:00You know, what do you do when they just send you a message
- 7:03that says, oh, just thinking about you and they got you.
- 7:05Then you see what I'm saying? They got you.
- 7:06They got you wrapped around a little narcissistic finger got
- 7:08you wrapped around here. Like this is ring right here.
- 7:10You mean that's how they get you got you.
- 7:13They always say gotcha go get you.
- 7:16Gotcha is going to get you. That's how they get you right
- 7:19there. Gotcha go get you.
- 7:21They they really going to set you up in that space to reach
- 7:24out just thinking about you. Hey, I was going to the beach
- 7:27and I saw some pebbles and I remember I threw you off the
- 7:30balcony like a rock and it just made me think about you.
- 7:34I just got into the water. He made me think about it, you
- 7:37know, I just laid down on my pillow.
- 7:40He made me think about the time you tried to put a pillow in my
- 7:42face because I, you know, because I told you I hated you
- 7:45just thinking about you. Just come on y'all.
- 7:47What context are they coming from?
- 7:50Very rarely have they made those.
- 7:52Have they made any type of behavior alterations?
- 7:55You know, have they actually been in therapy, actually
- 7:58working on themselves? Can they go to therapy?
- 8:00Yeah. Can they get try to work on
- 8:02themselves? Yeah, they could do that.
- 8:03But what proof do you have that they're going to treat you
- 8:05better other than, like I said, taking your own time, let's say,
- 8:10just because they're thinking about you?
- 8:11Because like, I know a lot of people asking me this question
- 8:14because they are thinking about the narcissistic person, right?
- 8:18You're thinking about your toxic ex or you're a toxic parent or
- 8:21your toxic best friend, your toxic bestie.
- 8:23Yeah, they yeah. I'm just being realistic because
- 8:26some of them will never, ever forget you.
- 8:29You might be the one that got away.
- 8:31You might be the, the, the, the prize that escaped them.
- 8:35So good. Good for you for escaping.
- 8:37But like I said, it's not always going to be a coming from a
- 8:39positive direction and what not to help you heal them, to help
- 8:42you grow in these spaces. It, it, it really isn't.
- 8:45So that's why I'm trying to convey to people that just
- 8:47because they're thinking about you does not mean that they're
- 8:49going to be better for you. It just absolutely does not.
- 8:52It does not mean they're going to change their behaviors.
- 8:54It does not mean that that anything is going to be better.
- 8:57It just means that you crossed their mind.
- 8:59They might actually have some remorse or regret, you know, for
- 9:02what they did to you. But again, when they have
- 9:04remorse or regret, typically they flip it and blame it on to
- 9:07you. Typically they flip it and put
- 9:09it on to you typically somehow. So way, shape or form is going
- 9:14to be your fault. It just is.
- 9:17It's somehow going to be your fault that this happened.
- 9:21It's going to be your fault that this the the way this is going
- 9:24out. It's going to be your fault.
- 9:25It just is. And this is not me trying to
- 9:28say, well, you deserve it. It is.
- 9:29They're going to put it on to you.
- 9:31And I will end it with this right here.
- 9:32Y'all. Just because they're thinking
- 9:34about you does not mean that they're thinking about you under
- 9:37good pretense, right? They can be thinking about the
- 9:40revenge that they want to seek on you.
- 9:42They could be thinking about a lot of different things in this
- 9:44space right here. It's not always good thoughts.
- 9:47It they dated when it got away. They giving them cheeks up to
- 9:50someone else. They clapping somebody else's
- 9:51cheeks. They could be angry as hell at
- 9:53you y'all. Like I said, they could want
- 9:56vengeance. The thoughts could be 100%
- 9:59negative with them. Just wanted to seek some type of
- 10:02vengeance on you for a perceived slight that you did to them.
- 10:06The thoughts are not always going to be positive, I promise
- 10:09you. That's what I'm trying to convey
- 10:10to people too. Like just because they're
- 10:11thinking about you does not mean the thoughts are positive.
- 10:14It could be some negative thoughts.
- 10:15They could be mad as hell as you because you expose them.
- 10:18They could be angry and said they could want to hurt you
- 10:20because you hurt them in some way shape or form, right?
- 10:23They couldn't want to put you through it because they they
- 10:25couldn't want to put you through it because they were put through
- 10:28it, right? That's the mindset of a lot of
- 10:30narcissistic people. They could want to hurt you
- 10:33because they you hurt them. They could want vengeance on
- 10:36them, on you because you got away from them and you've moved
- 10:39on to bigger and better things. They see you online being happy
- 10:42with someone else or just being happy by yourself.
- 10:44They could want vengeance on you because you didn't fall for the
- 10:47BS anymore. You didn't go back into the
- 10:49toxicity. You know the only, the only
- 10:52forgivable thing is consistent changed behavior.
- 10:57Consistent changed behavior is the only acceptable apology from
- 11:01a narcissistic person, toxic person, whoever you're dealing
- 11:04with, Let's just keep it hot and ready.
- 11:05Like I said, we keep it hot and ready over here like a Little
- 11:07Caesar's pizza. That's all we that's all we
- 11:09bought right here. Y'all hot and ready like a
- 11:11Little Caesar's pizza. But anyways, y'all, I'm super
- 11:14thankful y'all tuned in today. If you haven't already, go ahead
- 11:16and like and subscribe to the channel.
- 11:18And of course, y'all, this is that peace.
- 11:20Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:22I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
- 11:25If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
- 11:27to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
- 11:30to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
- 11:32There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
- 11:35and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
- 11:37you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 11:39I will see you in the next video.
- 11:40Peace.