Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 266. Shawn Johnson East, Olympic Medalist & Best-Selling Author

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266. Shawn Johnson East, Olympic Medalist & Best-Selling Author · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: I love the freedom that I feel in my mind
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Speaker 1: and in my body, and that's because of the people
0:06
Speaker 1: I have around me. And I just wish I could
0:09
Speaker 1: go back and tell my teenage self, like, stop trying
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Speaker 1: so hard for other people.
0:28
Speaker 2: What's going on? Everybody? Emily A body Here.
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Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two sixty six of Hurdle,
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Speaker 3: a wellness focused podcast. Reconnect with everyone from your favorite
0:38
Speaker 3: athletes to top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs,
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Speaker 3: toughest moments, and everything in between. We all go through
0:46
Speaker 3: hurdles in life, and my goal through these discussions is
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Speaker 3: to empower you to better navigate yours and move with
0:52
Speaker 3: intention so that you can stride towards your own big
0:55
Speaker 3: potential and of course have some fun along the way.
1:00
Speaker 3: There's something that makes me so giddy about September and Fall,
1:05
Speaker 3: and I just feel like we are in the groove.
1:08
Speaker 2: I'm excited right now.
1:09
Speaker 3: Life feels exciting right now, and I could not be
1:12
Speaker 3: more amped On today's guest, It's Sean Johnson East.
1:17
Speaker 2: You know her as an Olympic gymnast.
1:20
Speaker 3: She's also a wife, a mom, a New York Times
1:23
Speaker 3: best selling author, and oh my gosh, I have been
1:27
Speaker 3: looking forward to recording this episode literally since the moment
1:31
Speaker 3: I started herdl Sewn and I first connected a few
1:35
Speaker 3: years back for an event that I hosted on behalf
1:38
Speaker 3: of Cliff Bar. I was able to interview her as
1:40
Speaker 3: part of a panel discussion, and this has been a
1:44
Speaker 3: conversation for the show that's been in the making GOSH
1:47
Speaker 3: since then, probably at least four years.
1:50
Speaker 2: In today's episode, we talked about it all.
1:53
Speaker 3: We talk about what it was like for her to
1:54
Speaker 3: excel at her sport at such a young age.
1:57
Speaker 2: Sean was in the.
1:59
Speaker 3: Olympics at age sixteen, where she earned herself four medals,
2:04
Speaker 3: including one gold and three silver. We have a really
2:07
Speaker 3: interesting conversation about those silver medals and what they meant
2:11
Speaker 3: to her at that time, plus how it fell for
2:15
Speaker 3: her when she did walk away from gymnastics after a
2:18
Speaker 3: brief attempt at comeback, navigating so many difficult hurdles around
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Speaker 3: self worth.
2:24
Speaker 2: And a whole lot of unknown.
2:27
Speaker 3: On that note, Sean opens up to me about her
2:30
Speaker 3: experience with therapy, about working with a sports psychologist, about
2:34
Speaker 3: going to couples therapy.
2:35
Speaker 2: We really dive in here, plus how.
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Speaker 3: Excited she is about this chapter as a mom currently
2:42
Speaker 3: pregnant with her third child, and how becoming a mom
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Speaker 3: has completely shifted her perspective on.
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Speaker 2: What's really important in life.
2:51
Speaker 3: Of course, we also chat about the wonderful relationship she
2:54
Speaker 3: has with her husband Andrew, and what it's like for
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Speaker 3: the two of them to be business partners and co
3:01
Speaker 3: parents and a husband and wife, how they navigate all
3:06
Speaker 3: of the different titles within their relationship.
3:10
Speaker 2: Make sure, if you're not doing so yet already, you are.
3:13
Speaker 3: Following along with Hurdle on social It's over at Hurdle Podcast.
3:17
Speaker 3: I am also over at Emily a Body and.
3:20
Speaker 2: The weekly Hurdle newsletter.
3:22
Speaker 3: I want you to get it in your inbox every Friday,
3:24
Speaker 3: so much of the same stuff you love from the
3:26
Speaker 3: show delivered directly for free. The link to subscribe is
3:31
Speaker 3: in the show notes. With that, let's get to it.
3:34
Speaker 3: Let's get to hurdling today, I am sitting down with
3:44
Speaker 3: Sean Johnson. Many of you know her as an Olympian gymnast,
3:49
Speaker 3: but she's also a wife, a mom, a best selling author.
3:52
Speaker 3: Does that ever get old? Being like she's a New
3:54
Speaker 3: York Times bestselling author?
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Speaker 1: No, and I forget about it all the time. But
3:58
Speaker 1: it's pretty cool.
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Speaker 3: It's pretty when you have so many things in your
4:01
Speaker 3: multi hyphen it it's kind of like, well, I'm just
4:03
Speaker 3: a jack of all trades here.
4:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess so. I feel like so much of it,
4:07
Speaker 1: like is the umbrella of gymnastics. So I've forgotten so
4:10
Speaker 1: much of it now that I'm like mom and wife
4:13
Speaker 1: that you say it, I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, I
4:15
Speaker 1: forgot about that back.
4:16
Speaker 3: Then, back then, that thing back then that I did
4:19
Speaker 3: that was so awesome. I'm a little bummed knowing that
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Speaker 3: your lucky number is nineteen and we're recording on the seventh.
4:26
Speaker 1: I know, seven is great. Seven's a great number.
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Speaker 2: A lot of people feel like seven is their lucky number.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, But here we are and just cusping past your
4:37
Speaker 3: Olympic anniversary. It's so weird, Like, I know you said
4:40
Speaker 3: that a lot of things fall under the umbrella of gymnastics,
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Speaker 3: but these days, do you still heavily identify in that
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Speaker 3: way or are you leaning more into this mother and
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Speaker 3: wife chapter?
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Speaker 1: Definitely more mother wife chapter, even going back into the
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Speaker 1: gymnastics world, like I got to do this big fifteen
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Speaker 1: year reunion with my whole Olympic team. I feel it
5:02
Speaker 1: feels like a different lifetime, and I kind of love that.
5:07
Speaker 1: I love that I've been able to recreate my brand
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Speaker 1: and myself, and I love that I don't have to identify,
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Speaker 1: you know, as just the gymnast anymore, which is really cool.
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Speaker 1: But yeah, it's weird. I'm definitely more mom social media,
5:23
Speaker 1: which is so weird right now.
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Speaker 3: Well, it is fifteen years since the two thousand and
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Speaker 3: eight Olympics.
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Speaker 2: That sentence in itself, how does that make you feel old?
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Speaker 1: Very old? I feel like I'm like coposter syndrome a
5:37
Speaker 1: little bit, but I still feel like I'm sixteen, and
5:41
Speaker 1: then I'm like, oh shoot, now I'm thirty one, which
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Speaker 1: is young, but then also as old. So I just
5:48
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know anymore.
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Speaker 2: I just don't know.
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Speaker 3: Well, I think it's irrefutable that you certainly are a
5:55
Speaker 3: staple when we think of gymnastics Olympics, matter how old
6:01
Speaker 3: you may feel, it's irrefutable. And it's interesting that you
6:04
Speaker 3: bring up the word or the term imposter syndrome. Let's
6:08
Speaker 3: elaborate on that a little bit. What do you think
6:10
Speaker 3: that stems from, Oh.
6:12
Speaker 1: My gosh, just being the world's most obsessed perfectionist even
6:17
Speaker 1: through my gymnastics career. I had this image in my mind.
6:22
Speaker 1: I'd watched all the movies, I had watched all the
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Speaker 1: documentaries and stuff about Olympians and how they were supposed
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Speaker 1: to achieve Olympic success, and it was like sacrifice every
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Speaker 1: single thing in your life, become miserable, you know, go
6:34
Speaker 1: through all these things, and I just never experienced that.
6:37
Speaker 1: I was such a lucky and fortunate kid. I had
6:40
Speaker 1: a really healthy family. I had an amazing coach who's
6:43
Speaker 1: like my second dad. I loved gymnastics all the way
6:47
Speaker 1: through the Olympics. I was like a kid playing and
6:50
Speaker 1: I remember like finding myself on the first place podium
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Speaker 1: and I'd be like, something's wrong here, Like there's been
6:58
Speaker 1: a fluke in the system. This shouldn't be mine. It's
7:02
Speaker 1: still too fun. I'm still just playing, and I think
7:06
Speaker 1: I still live that way. I still love what I do,
7:11
Speaker 1: and things just kind of work themselves out, and I
7:15
Speaker 1: just don't know.
7:16
Speaker 3: How they work out because you're choosing this perspective. It's
7:20
Speaker 3: so interesting hearing you reflect so positively, because I've heard
7:25
Speaker 3: you talk about the experience holistically in so many different ways.
7:29
Speaker 3: Now knowing that yes, you were on the first place podium,
7:32
Speaker 3: but you were also on the quote unquote second place
7:36
Speaker 3: or silver metal podium three times over, and that experience
7:42
Speaker 3: was entirely different for you, was it not?
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Speaker 1: It was. It was a challenge because getting all the
7:48
Speaker 1: way to the Olympics and having this perspective of I
7:51
Speaker 1: was still a kid. I was still allowed to love
7:55
Speaker 1: my sport, but I was fighting the world and the
7:59
Speaker 1: culture that said I had to win, and I had
8:03
Speaker 1: to do this, and I had to perform a certain way,
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Speaker 1: and I had to be a certain person, and I
8:07
Speaker 1: just look a certain way, and I had to weigh
8:09
Speaker 1: a certain weight, and I was fighting all the not
8:12
Speaker 1: fun stuff. And when I came in second three times over,
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Speaker 1: I from my coach and from my upbringing was still
8:23
Speaker 1: very happy, but from world culture, I was a failure.
8:27
Speaker 1: And I was balancing this like Yin and yang vibe
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Speaker 1: of playing and I'm doing what I love, but also
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Speaker 1: there's so many people in the world telling me that
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Speaker 1: I'm like failing and I shouldn't feel good about myself
8:39
Speaker 1: and I have like all these things. So it was
8:43
Speaker 1: it was a lot of like trying to fight outside voices.
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Speaker 3: You were sixteen, life was a sixteen year old life
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Speaker 3: at any stage, like, let's just establish this is challenging,
8:53
Speaker 3: but being sixteen and having that many eyes on you
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Speaker 3: and having that many opinions on who you are, what
9:00
Speaker 3: you're doing, the fact that you are seemingly at least
9:04
Speaker 3: we're still getting to know each other like a well
9:06
Speaker 3: adjusted and normal human at this point is truly impressive
9:10
Speaker 3: and an accomplishment within itself.
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Speaker 1: Thank you. I don't know how I got here, but
9:17
Speaker 1: great family, great husband, there you go.
9:19
Speaker 2: Great support team. Right, and that's so important.
9:22
Speaker 3: You touched on the pressure to look a certain way
9:26
Speaker 3: and be a certain way. Let's chat a little bit
9:29
Speaker 3: about that. Do you remember the first time that someone
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Speaker 3: commented on the aesthetics of your body?
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Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh yeah, again. I was very lucky to have
9:44
Speaker 1: a coach who he was so hyper aware of all
9:47
Speaker 1: of this. He had come from kind of the worst
9:51
Speaker 1: of situations in stereotypical gymnastics from the Chinese team, and
9:55
Speaker 1: so his dream in starting a gym and raising success
10:00
Speaker 1: full gymnasts in the United States was to go against
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Speaker 1: all of that, to raise kids that were mentally healthy,
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Speaker 1: that didn't have body issues, that didn't struggle with nutritional
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Speaker 1: issues like he was such, he's such a phenomenal coach.
10:15
Speaker 1: But the first time that I remember people starting to
10:18
Speaker 1: comment on my body was when I made the national team.
10:25
Speaker 1: So the national team coaches would pull me aside and say,
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Speaker 1: you can't eat this, you need to lose so much weight.
10:33
Speaker 1: The judges prefer a different physique, and it was just
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Speaker 1: it was just constant, and it was constantly balancing what
10:39
Speaker 1: they say versus what my coach was saying. And being
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Speaker 1: a young kid, I mean I was twelve at the time.
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Speaker 1: I just remember not knowing how to like internalize it,
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Speaker 1: and I didn't know how to fix it.
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Speaker 3: Even that word fix it, right, yeah, yeah, it's so
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Speaker 3: it's such like a loud presence in that sentence, and
11:04
Speaker 3: being twelve at twelve, as women in America were already
11:09
Speaker 3: digesting and being shown so many images via the conventional
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Speaker 3: media about what the quote unquote perfect body type looks like,
11:20
Speaker 3: and then being an athlete already, you're at such a
11:25
Speaker 3: different place than even the normal twelve year old.
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Speaker 1: It was it was a lot back then for me
11:35
Speaker 1: because in the sport of gymnastics back in two thousand
11:38
Speaker 1: and eight during the Olympics, but kind of in my
11:41
Speaker 1: upbringing I was a different style of gymnasts than really
11:45
Speaker 1: our generation had seen. The type of gymnastics that was
11:50
Speaker 1: very common and was kind of idolized back in my
11:55
Speaker 1: day was Nastya Lucan. It was that very slender, very flexible, artistic,
12:01
Speaker 1: just stunning line gymnasts. And that's not me. I am
12:05
Speaker 1: very muscular and strong, not flexible, and I do more
12:12
Speaker 1: of the tricks. I'm not like the beautiful artistry girl.
12:16
Speaker 1: And so I kind of felt that pushback from a
12:19
Speaker 1: young age of like, this is different and you're not
12:22
Speaker 1: fitting this mold, and all the way up through the Olympics,
12:28
Speaker 1: I kind of had to go against all of these
12:31
Speaker 1: people because I was somehow winning or doing well. But
12:36
Speaker 1: then people were saying, you still have to change. And
12:39
Speaker 1: I think the only thing that validated myself was as
12:43
Speaker 1: long as I kept winning, I would have confidence to
12:46
Speaker 1: be like, but I don't.
12:48
Speaker 2: Have to change because it's working.
12:51
Speaker 1: If I or fell or mistakes, I'd be like, maybe
12:54
Speaker 1: maybe I do need to change, And so the unhealthy
12:57
Speaker 1: side would come out.
12:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, you've spoke out the time about the unhealthy sides
13:02
Speaker 3: that resulted from being around all of this feedback, specifically
13:06
Speaker 3: suffering from an eating disorder back in two thousand and
13:09
Speaker 3: eight that led you up to the two thousand and
13:12
Speaker 3: eight Olympics.
13:13
Speaker 2: Do you remember how it felt operating on.
13:17
Speaker 3: I believe you shared at one point seven hundred calories
13:20
Speaker 3: a day performing at that level.
13:25
Speaker 1: Not great, But it's hard because going back to that,
13:30
Speaker 1: the only thing that I really remember is I remember
13:32
Speaker 1: I cramped a lot, but I didn't know any different.
13:39
Speaker 1: So it's hard for me to go back and say
13:41
Speaker 1: I felt miserable because I didn't. I my body was
13:45
Speaker 1: such a healthy sixteen year old body that it was
13:47
Speaker 1: able to adapt to a seven hundred calorie diet, which
13:50
Speaker 1: is horrible, Like, I don't encourage that for anybody, but
13:55
Speaker 1: it worked and I was fine. I think it wasn't
13:59
Speaker 1: until later on in life that I got to reflect
14:02
Speaker 1: on that and be like, I just I wonder how
14:05
Speaker 1: I would have felt if I was nutritionally sound, I
14:10
Speaker 1: probably would have done not I probably would not have
14:14
Speaker 1: done any different, but I probably would have felt better
14:17
Speaker 1: at that time.
14:19
Speaker 2: Did you share what you were doing with anyone? No?
14:24
Speaker 1: No, we lived in a different time, in different system
14:27
Speaker 1: back then before kind of like the downfall of USA
14:30
Speaker 1: Gymnastics and gymnastics in general, when all these parameters and
14:34
Speaker 1: protection came out. But back then, there was this odd
14:40
Speaker 1: mentality with the governing bodies of gymnastics that refused to
14:49
Speaker 1: look at us as children. It was almost like they
14:53
Speaker 1: would force you to be adults. We would live in
14:56
Speaker 1: the Olympic village by ourselves, we would function as adults,
14:59
Speaker 1: would do our our own laundry. We were adults, We're whatever.
15:04
Speaker 1: And I think because they saw us as these professionals,
15:09
Speaker 1: they failed to recognize that we were children that needed
15:17
Speaker 1: a lot more guidance than an adult. So we didn't
15:20
Speaker 1: have psychologists, we didn't have nutritionists, we didn't have that
15:25
Speaker 1: support system that educated us to be the best we
15:29
Speaker 1: were able to be. For me, it was kind of like,
15:31
Speaker 1: I'm going to handle this on my own. I am
15:34
Speaker 1: an Olympic athlete. I'm capable of handling this on my own.
15:38
Speaker 1: I was taught to think like an adult, so I
15:40
Speaker 1: had to handle it like an adult.
15:42
Speaker 3: Two thousand and eight, the Olympics come and go. You're
15:44
Speaker 3: being treated as an adult at that time. How do
15:47
Speaker 3: you think that being treated as an adult back when
15:50
Speaker 3: you were sixteen has impacted you up until this point?
15:54
Speaker 2: Now?
15:54
Speaker 3: Being a mother at thirty one.
15:59
Speaker 1: It's made me want to support my children a lot
16:02
Speaker 1: more than I think even they need. But I think
16:07
Speaker 1: as a kid being kind of forced into this mentality
16:12
Speaker 1: by just my surroundings of needing to act like an adult,
16:17
Speaker 1: I grew up with this mentality of like I can
16:19
Speaker 1: handle anything by myself. I don't need your help. I'm
16:22
Speaker 1: not going to ask for help. I'm not going to
16:24
Speaker 1: show weakness. I'm not going to do any of this.
16:26
Speaker 1: I've got it. And that was a very unhealthy mindset
16:29
Speaker 1: to have for so long. My husband is actually the
16:32
Speaker 1: one that really helps me through a lot of that.
16:35
Speaker 1: He was like, I need you to like ask for help.
16:38
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, I whatever. So we've worked through that.
16:42
Speaker 1: But now as a mom with my own children, it's
16:46
Speaker 1: just I try to celebrate their childhood more than ever
16:50
Speaker 1: like my parents did before. I was kind of taken
16:53
Speaker 1: under the wing of USA Gymnastics people, and I just
16:58
Speaker 1: I truly try to like protect that and support them
17:02
Speaker 1: in any way I can't.
17:03
Speaker 2: That's really special.
17:04
Speaker 3: They're really lucky to be able to kind of reap
17:08
Speaker 3: the benefits of a situation that had other not so
17:13
Speaker 3: ideal ramifications.
17:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. And I even answering all these questions,
17:22
Speaker 1: I feel like I contradict myself so much. And I
17:25
Speaker 1: think that's because I'm an adult now and I've I'm
17:27
Speaker 1: able to reflect on everything that I went through. But
17:30
Speaker 1: I've had so many conversations with my parents and my
17:33
Speaker 1: coaches even now, and everything that I went through as
17:38
Speaker 1: a kid, I would go through again. I loved my upbringing.
17:43
Speaker 1: I was so fortunate. I was protected by an amazing coach,
17:47
Speaker 1: by amazing parents. I got to see a lot, I
17:50
Speaker 1: got to witness a lot, and there was a lot
17:53
Speaker 1: of corruption, and I was aware of that as a kid,
17:57
Speaker 1: but I was very lucky to be protected by it.
18:00
Speaker 1: And I think now as an adult, it's hard because
18:04
Speaker 1: it's hard to remember back and reflect one because I
18:07
Speaker 1: know now as an adult what was wrong, but I
18:11
Speaker 1: didn't know it was wrong back when I was a kid.
18:13
Speaker 2: If that makes sense, How could you have?
18:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just loved gymnastics, so I was willing to
18:20
Speaker 1: work through anything. Yeah, I think I need probably a
18:24
Speaker 1: therapist to help me work through these.
18:25
Speaker 3: But are you insinuating that you haven't worked through them
18:29
Speaker 3: with a therapist.
18:30
Speaker 1: No, I haven't. I probably should that's.
18:32
Speaker 3: Kind of surprising to me, knowing that I'm assuming and
18:34
Speaker 3: again projecting year. But did you work with a sports
18:36
Speaker 3: psychologist at all when you were heavily ingrained in sport?
18:40
Speaker 1: Very much so when I was trying to make a
18:41
Speaker 1: comeback for twenty twelve, I did work with a sports
18:44
Speaker 1: psychologist and I loved him. He was phenomenal. But by
18:48
Speaker 1: the time I was introduced to him, I was checked
18:51
Speaker 1: out and I knew I kind of no matter what
18:54
Speaker 1: he told me, I knew I was done with my sport,
18:57
Speaker 1: so it was it just wasn't working.
18:59
Speaker 2: Why do you think that you haven't leaned into therapy yet?
19:02
Speaker 1: This is going to go deep and dark here quickly.
19:05
Speaker 1: As a child, I went through so much, and all
19:09
Speaker 1: of my memories that are truly mine are ninety nine
19:13
Speaker 1: percent great. After I retired from my sport, there was
19:17
Speaker 1: so much darkness that was brought to light. And I'm
19:22
Speaker 1: so and this is probably why I desperately need therapy
19:25
Speaker 1: to go through this. That part of me wants to
19:27
Speaker 1: keep that door shut and keep it as happy as possible,
19:31
Speaker 1: to protect all of my memories instead of rewrite them
19:36
Speaker 1: with the understanding of what actually was going on. And
19:39
Speaker 1: repaint things in such a dark light that I just
19:42
Speaker 1: don't know if I want to handle as an adult
19:44
Speaker 1: that's already moved on. But I'm sure if a therapist
19:46
Speaker 1: listens to this, they're like, honey, you need to see me.
19:50
Speaker 3: Hey, listen, it's understandable, right, And the power there is
19:54
Speaker 3: that you get to choose your perspective as you move forward.
19:59
Speaker 3: So whether or not, but you do decide eventually to
20:03
Speaker 3: speak to someone, you get to choose how you move
20:07
Speaker 3: forward having been informed by that conversation, just as you
20:12
Speaker 3: get to choose your perspective right now with the memories
20:14
Speaker 3: that you're holding dear to you.
20:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think I'll open that door someday. I
20:19
Speaker 1: just think it's one of those things, especially with kids,
20:22
Speaker 1: that I'm so in mom mode that I'm not ready
20:28
Speaker 1: to address manner child and I don't know if i'll
20:31
Speaker 1: ever be, but maybe someday we'll see.
20:34
Speaker 3: I think it's helpful and like really refreshing to hear
20:37
Speaker 3: this perspective, right because I'm sure that there are so
20:39
Speaker 3: many people that are listening to this that really relate
20:42
Speaker 3: and sympathize to your sentiments behind kind of holding off
20:45
Speaker 3: on something like that.
20:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is funny because I am the first to
20:49
Speaker 1: sign up for therapy when with my husband we go
20:52
Speaker 1: to a lot of couple scounseling. I have gone through
20:56
Speaker 1: so much therapy when it comes to nutrition and eating disorders.
21:00
Speaker 1: It's just that gymnastics store.
21:02
Speaker 2: I just.
21:05
Speaker 3: Not there yet, not there yet, not there yet. And
21:07
Speaker 3: you have to be the person that makes that decision, right.
21:09
Speaker 3: You cannot be forced upon you, because if it's forced
21:12
Speaker 3: upon you, then it's very unlikely that it's going to
21:14
Speaker 3: be something that.
21:15
Speaker 2: You allow the work to happen within you.
21:19
Speaker 1: Yeah. I actually went to one session for gymnastics with
21:23
Speaker 1: like a new counselor, and I never went back and I.
21:26
Speaker 2: Was like, well, not ready yet, not ready yet, not
21:29
Speaker 2: ready yet.
21:30
Speaker 1: Yeah.
21:30
Speaker 3: I've heard you recently speak about how you feel in
21:33
Speaker 3: your body being pregnant, and that you've posted some really
21:36
Speaker 3: hilarious content about you know, the ninety nine point five
21:39
Speaker 3: percent of the time when you just like hate being
21:41
Speaker 3: in your body in this moment versus like a point
21:43
Speaker 3: five percent of the time that you feel beautiful in it.
21:46
Speaker 3: I would love to hear you speak a little bit
21:48
Speaker 3: about the dichotomy between feeling uncomfortable in your body as
21:53
Speaker 3: a young woman, and then how you feel in your
21:55
Speaker 3: body right now.
21:57
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. So back when I was a kid,
22:00
Speaker 1: when I was younger going through like eating disorders, and
22:02
Speaker 1: I was very uncomfortable with like the body and the
22:05
Speaker 1: body image and insecurities and like discomfort there. That was
22:09
Speaker 1: more of like a It was a vanity issue and
22:14
Speaker 1: a material side issue where I was afraid of judgment
22:16
Speaker 1: of others. I didn't think I looked the way people
22:21
Speaker 1: wanted me to look. So everything that I dealt with
22:25
Speaker 1: in like insecurity and discomfort was just because of other
22:29
Speaker 1: people's judgment. I don't know how to say that. I
22:32
Speaker 1: worked on that for many, many years and was able to, like,
22:36
Speaker 1: for the most part, overcome it. I definitely have times
22:38
Speaker 1: where you know, Instagram comments get to me or whatever, Yes,
22:43
Speaker 1: but for the most part, I can get past judgment
22:45
Speaker 1: of others. The only opinion that I care about is
22:48
Speaker 1: my own and my husband's, and I love that. And
22:51
Speaker 1: I don't think my husband would ever think that I'm
22:54
Speaker 1: anything but beautiful to him, which is also an eye
22:58
Speaker 1: roll to a certain extent from a wife for respective,
23:00
Speaker 1: but it's also so sweet now pregnant and the discomfort
23:05
Speaker 1: that I deal with and kind of the thoughts and
23:10
Speaker 1: not loving this phase is more so like a physical discomfort.
23:16
Speaker 1: I had worked so hard for so long with a
23:19
Speaker 1: nutritionist and a psychologist to overcome these insecurities and discomforts
23:25
Speaker 1: of my body that feeling healthy and strong on a
23:32
Speaker 1: daily basis gives me so much life and gives me
23:37
Speaker 1: so much pride. When I'm pregnant and my ankle's hurt
23:41
Speaker 1: because I'm carrying an extra fifty pounds and I can't
23:46
Speaker 1: breathe and my lungs are being compressed and all of
23:49
Speaker 1: these things, and I just like I literally can't like
23:51
Speaker 1: touch my toes. It's like this physical discomfort that feels
23:56
Speaker 1: so foreign and I have to constantly juggle on a
24:00
Speaker 1: daily basis, Like I'm so proud my body can do this,
24:05
Speaker 1: and you need to, like I need to be able
24:06
Speaker 1: to recognize that this is such a beautiful thing. It's
24:09
Speaker 1: both and not yeah and not just uncomfortable and not cute.
24:14
Speaker 2: Both it's hard.
24:16
Speaker 1: It is it is, and it's hard like because I
24:22
Speaker 1: put so much effort and work into having confidence in
24:26
Speaker 1: what I look like and feel like having that weird
24:32
Speaker 1: looking at myself naked in a mirror right now is
24:34
Speaker 1: just kind of like a what is happening?
24:38
Speaker 3: And it's just this like confliction of feeling and knowing
24:42
Speaker 3: that you are healthy, but there are things beyond your
24:45
Speaker 3: control right now that like you just can't reclaim that
24:48
Speaker 3: space for you.
24:49
Speaker 1: No, yeah, yeah, Like I have OB appointments every four weeks,
24:56
Speaker 1: and my OB is a God send to me, is
25:00
Speaker 1: as fit as anyone I've ever met in my life,
25:04
Speaker 1: and I'm constantly like, but is the way okay? Is
25:08
Speaker 1: this fun? And she's like, You're doing great, but.
25:12
Speaker 2: You're doing so great.
25:13
Speaker 3: I love what you said about knowing, like deep in
25:17
Speaker 3: your core that the only opinion that matters of you
25:20
Speaker 3: is the opinion that you have of yourself and that
25:22
Speaker 3: your husband.
25:23
Speaker 2: Has of you.
25:24
Speaker 3: Can you talk to me about the journey to get
25:26
Speaker 3: to that place a little bit, because I know for
25:29
Speaker 3: certain there are so many people listening to this right
25:32
Speaker 3: now that want to feel that way genuinely, I know.
25:38
Speaker 1: I mean for people who want to feel that way.
25:41
Speaker 1: The only way I was able to feel that way
25:43
Speaker 1: was through the help of a nutritionist and psychologist. I'm
25:46
Speaker 1: preaching to myself therapy, but I'm also admitted in this
25:49
Speaker 1: interview that I'm afraid of it. So I'm aware of this.
25:53
Speaker 1: But my nutritionist I worked with and I still talk
25:57
Speaker 1: to her every once in a while when I'm like
25:58
Speaker 1: needing help with something. But I worked with her weekly
26:02
Speaker 1: monthly for about ten years, wow. And it was the
26:06
Speaker 1: first probably five years where we tackled this this specific
26:12
Speaker 1: topic of like thoughts, judgments, voices, And she always said
26:17
Speaker 1: it was voices. And I remember every time I would
26:20
Speaker 1: talk to her, see her a caller, she'd be like,
26:23
Speaker 1: what are the voices telling you today? And no matter
26:28
Speaker 1: what people say, it's how you interpret them and what
26:31
Speaker 1: your brain is telling you in that moment. So she'd
26:35
Speaker 1: I would say, like, they're telling me I'm eating too much,
26:38
Speaker 1: or I'm not eating enough, or I can't eat carbs,
26:43
Speaker 1: or I need to look at certain whatever it was,
26:44
Speaker 1: they'd be telling me something, and she would work on
26:49
Speaker 1: just over reiterating over and over and over. Let's work
26:52
Speaker 1: on those voices, like every time you hear a bad one,
26:55
Speaker 1: let's try to like replace the negative with positive. And
26:59
Speaker 1: we just worked on being very aware of what were
27:10
Speaker 1: like intruders and what was real, like what was fake
27:15
Speaker 1: was false and real truth and like just reality yeah,
27:20
Speaker 1: and just through a lot of like reflection of like,
27:23
Speaker 1: why am I thinking this? Why are the voices telling
27:26
Speaker 1: me this? How can I fix it? Just like that awareness,
27:30
Speaker 1: the self awareness every day for years just slowly quieted them.
27:37
Speaker 1: And then with my husband, once I was able to
27:40
Speaker 1: like recognize when these voices would start creeping in again,
27:45
Speaker 1: and I was able to articulate that to my husband,
27:47
Speaker 1: he was also able to be a support system for
27:51
Speaker 1: me and help tell me what truth was versus a
27:56
Speaker 1: falsified opinion. And I don't know if any of that
28:00
Speaker 1: made sense.
28:00
Speaker 2: No, it totally makes sense.
28:01
Speaker 3: I mean you're articulating the difference between attrusive intrusive thoughts
28:06
Speaker 3: and figuring out what is fact and what is feeling
28:08
Speaker 3: right and understanding that we are going to have thoughts,
28:12
Speaker 3: but our thoughts are not us uh. And that's a
28:15
Speaker 3: really hard hard place to get to linger in and
28:19
Speaker 3: then be able to sort out the difference, especially when
28:22
Speaker 3: the thoughts are so loud. And what I'm also hearing
28:25
Speaker 3: you say here this is going back to our conversation
28:29
Speaker 3: on allowing people to help you. That must have been
28:32
Speaker 3: really special and kind of intimate within your relationship to
28:36
Speaker 3: get to a place where you allowed him to help
28:39
Speaker 3: you with something that was really a struggle point.
28:43
Speaker 1: It was, and it was so terrifying finally telling him
28:49
Speaker 1: like the full waight of it. Like I would tell
28:53
Speaker 1: him little tidbits here and there of like insecurities or whatever.
28:57
Speaker 1: But when I finally like told him every thing of
29:00
Speaker 1: like eating disorders and how long I've struggled with it
29:03
Speaker 1: and how I couldn't get out of bed sometimes because
29:06
Speaker 1: I was so scared of like whatever, it was really interesting.
29:12
Speaker 1: He's such an eager to learn person, and it was
29:18
Speaker 1: interesting for me because it took so much effort for
29:23
Speaker 1: him to understand, because he because it was such a
29:27
Speaker 1: foreign topic to him, and he's like, what do you mean,
29:31
Speaker 1: why can't you just stop, you know, or why can't
29:33
Speaker 1: you just not listen to these voices or whatever? And
29:37
Speaker 1: going through that journey with him of truly explaining the
29:41
Speaker 1: kind of how crippling eating disorders and mental health issues
29:46
Speaker 1: can be was so I don't know, freeing, because now,
29:55
Speaker 1: like at my OBI appointment yesterday, just I was having
29:58
Speaker 1: a down day and now my husband went with me,
30:02
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what, I'm probably going
30:05
Speaker 1: to turn my back on the scale today just so
30:07
Speaker 1: you're known, and he was like, thank you for telling me,
30:12
Speaker 1: and it just kind of tells him that my brain
30:16
Speaker 1: is a little weak today and I need his support
30:18
Speaker 1: and he totally understands it. And it's so nice.
30:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, Wow, things are showing that.
30:24
Speaker 3: And I also think it's really exemplary of the work
30:28
Speaker 3: that can go into relationships, right like saying something is
30:33
Speaker 3: bothering me, but then also being able to illustrate the
30:36
Speaker 3: true weight of that and be able to come together
30:40
Speaker 3: and work on that together. It's really special that you
30:42
Speaker 3: have someone in your life that like sees you in
30:44
Speaker 3: this way.
30:46
Speaker 1: It's also been really refreshing for him because I think when,
30:48
Speaker 1: especially in a relationship, when you're willing to be that vulnerable,
30:52
Speaker 1: which can be scary because to a certain extent, it
30:54
Speaker 1: can make people feel less attractive or less you know,
30:59
Speaker 1: I don't know.
31:00
Speaker 3: I genuinely think that's a fear that we all have, right,
31:02
Speaker 3: like just getting that deep with someone and letting them
31:05
Speaker 3: truly see us and thinking that they won't like the
31:08
Speaker 3: us that we open the door to allow them to see.
31:12
Speaker 1: But it agreed, and that was my fear. But to
31:15
Speaker 1: see what's come from it. When my husband was going
31:18
Speaker 1: through the NFL, he struggled with like crippling anxiety and
31:22
Speaker 1: he had never dealt with that before. And I think
31:25
Speaker 1: it was because of me being able to open up
31:27
Speaker 1: my vulnerability that he shared it with me day in
31:31
Speaker 1: and day out, asking for support and help, and that
31:34
Speaker 1: was really huge for both both of us to be
31:36
Speaker 1: able to tackle together.
31:42
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34:50
Speaker 3: much together podcast and work together clearly also personally raising
34:53
Speaker 3: a family together, being with each other.
34:55
Speaker 2: What would you.
34:56
Speaker 3: Say is the upside and the downside to having such
34:59
Speaker 3: an in it's a graded personal professional relationship with your partner.
35:03
Speaker 1: I think the upside and the downside are the same.
35:05
Speaker 1: That's why I was trying to like figure out how
35:07
Speaker 1: to say it. Is it requires so much accountability spending
35:15
Speaker 1: every waking second together. And I say that in the
35:18
Speaker 1: sense of like, the upside of accountability is our line
35:22
Speaker 1: of dialogue and communication is probably more than anybody's used to.
35:27
Speaker 2: But in any.
35:29
Speaker 1: Given day, I'm addressing my business partner, my husband, and
35:35
Speaker 1: the father of my children and my friend, and if
35:39
Speaker 1: any one of those has like a hard day, which
35:42
Speaker 1: they all probably have a hard day on any given day,
35:45
Speaker 1: we have to be able to communicate through it and
35:47
Speaker 1: be like, you know what, I had a hard day
35:49
Speaker 1: as your business partner, that does not affect me as
35:52
Speaker 1: your husband, and have like working through those lines. The
35:59
Speaker 1: upside is our communication is so strong. The downside is
36:02
Speaker 1: that it requires so much accountability effort of being like
36:07
Speaker 1: I didn't snap, Like I wasn't snippy with you as
36:12
Speaker 1: my wife. I was snippy because we didn't agree in
36:15
Speaker 1: business today. And it's just like it can take a lot.
36:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, understandable, totally understandable.
36:23
Speaker 3: Do you feel excited when you have the opportunity to
36:28
Speaker 3: do things solo or do you feel like a little
36:32
Speaker 3: bit of something is missing.
36:36
Speaker 1: We are both very independent people, so we love taking
36:41
Speaker 1: adventures on our own. We have our own like I
36:45
Speaker 1: have my own women's group, he has his own men's group.
36:47
Speaker 1: We have our own solo time each like every day.
36:52
Speaker 1: But he's my best friend in life, and even though
36:59
Speaker 1: I like doing things solo, I still wish he was
37:03
Speaker 1: always there.
37:05
Speaker 3: Well, that's adorable, You're like, yep, I just caught myself
37:10
Speaker 3: saying that when you say you have solo time every day,
37:12
Speaker 3: is this something that's scheduled in.
37:13
Speaker 2: I'm just kind of curious it is.
37:15
Speaker 1: So we schedule workouts every day. Andrew usually works out
37:19
Speaker 1: early in the morning, and we used to like work
37:21
Speaker 1: out together, but we found that it was like we
37:24
Speaker 1: each enjoyed working out by ourselves better, just like the
37:29
Speaker 1: grunt work of it. We like being able to, like
37:31
Speaker 1: mentally decompress. So Andrew works out in the morning. I
37:35
Speaker 1: usually work out like mid morning, but that's always like
37:38
Speaker 1: a you get an hour or two hours. I've got
37:41
Speaker 1: the kids, I've got the house, and then we swap Yeah.
37:45
Speaker 3: Talk to me about how your relationship has ebbed and
37:48
Speaker 3: flowed with your fitness, wellness workout routine since dialing it
37:54
Speaker 3: back from being a professional athlete.
37:58
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's gone through every possible peak and
38:03
Speaker 1: valley So I went from I have done everything from
38:09
Speaker 1: being like complete sloth mode, never does anything but watches
38:15
Speaker 1: Netflix and each like eats pancakes.
38:18
Speaker 2: Two.
38:19
Speaker 1: I would schedule unhealthily four workout classes a day. I
38:26
Speaker 1: would go for a run on top of it, and
38:29
Speaker 1: would have to like have every hour doing something physical.
38:33
Speaker 2: To now.
38:35
Speaker 1: I am probably not as active as I wish I was,
38:39
Speaker 1: but I think that's just the phase of life I'm
38:41
Speaker 1: in having two toddlers and being pregnant. But I'm definitely
38:45
Speaker 1: like living the phase of life where everything's in moderation.
38:50
Speaker 1: I listen to my body. Sleep is the most important
38:53
Speaker 1: for me, and I probably work out two or three
38:56
Speaker 1: times a week at max.
38:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, so what you're doing is prioritizing how you want
39:02
Speaker 3: to feel, which is like as good as you can
39:05
Speaker 3: within your body, and listening to what your body needs. Yes,
39:08
Speaker 3: so these days, obviously being so far along in your pregnancy,
39:12
Speaker 3: we're just talking about a lot more low impact kind
39:15
Speaker 3: of stuff.
39:16
Speaker 1: I still like throw around bar bells and stuff all
39:19
Speaker 1: the time.
39:19
Speaker 2: Oh. I love to hear that it's the only.
39:21
Speaker 1: Thing that makes it feel good pregnant, which is really funny.
39:25
Speaker 3: Going back to kind of that adjustment, period from being
39:30
Speaker 3: a professional athlete to shifting. Now you before we're talking
39:34
Speaker 3: about creating content, talk to me about that transition period
39:39
Speaker 3: and how you start to dial in on what your
39:41
Speaker 3: life would look like professionally after you took a step
39:45
Speaker 3: away from the bar, the beam, the matt and so on.
39:48
Speaker 1: I mean, that was a roller coaster too, and that
39:50
Speaker 1: took me a long time to figure out. I went
39:53
Speaker 1: directly from a late level gymnastics in the Olympics to
39:56
Speaker 1: kind of running the gamut of showed like stereotypical stuff.
40:02
Speaker 1: I would do all the interviews, I would do public speaking,
40:04
Speaker 1: I would motivational speaking, wrote a book, did all of
40:09
Speaker 1: these things. Was very like in the limelight heavy for
40:13
Speaker 1: a long time. Dancing with the Stars got burnt out, Yeah,
40:17
Speaker 1: Dancing with the Stars, the Apprentice, whose line is it anyway?
40:21
Speaker 1: All these different things, random things but super fun, got
40:25
Speaker 1: burnt out of all of it, didn't work for two
40:29
Speaker 1: years at all, met and dated my husband at the
40:34
Speaker 1: time through those two years, and then slowly started to
40:37
Speaker 1: rebuild myself in a different platform, a different way on
40:41
Speaker 1: my own terms, social media, built a company, started school,
40:48
Speaker 1: just did all of these things, and it was a
40:51
Speaker 1: really hard transition. I felt like I tried to live
40:54
Speaker 1: the limelight of a gymnast for so long and I
40:56
Speaker 1: just got so tired of it, and I was like,
40:57
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't think this will last forever,
41:00
Speaker 1: and I don't want it to. So I'm going to
41:03
Speaker 1: take a leap of faith and try to build something
41:05
Speaker 1: else and if it doesn't work, it's fine. And it
41:10
Speaker 1: seemed to work.
41:11
Speaker 3: So it's so funny, right because I think so often
41:15
Speaker 3: when we think about pivoting or changing the plan that
41:18
Speaker 3: maybe we had already set out for ourselves, that concept
41:22
Speaker 3: of change is scary, but also it's this realization that
41:27
Speaker 3: the worst thing that can happen in most cases is
41:30
Speaker 3: the fact that we might just end up exactly where
41:32
Speaker 3: we started.
41:34
Speaker 1: Yep. Well, and for me too, it was like it's
41:38
Speaker 1: going full circle. It was that unlovable feeling. I was
41:42
Speaker 1: afraid that without gymnastics, I wasn't worthy of someone, which
41:46
Speaker 1: is silly but very common for people to feel. And
41:51
Speaker 1: in that two year period when I had quit working
41:53
Speaker 1: and I was like really not doing anything with my life,
41:56
Speaker 1: I met my husband and he loved me for me
42:00
Speaker 1: with nothing, and so he's the one that kind of
42:04
Speaker 1: enabled that confidence to start from nothing because worst case
42:09
Speaker 1: scenario was nothing worked and he was still around, which
42:13
Speaker 1: was great, Which was great.
42:15
Speaker 3: I know that you were introduced to your husband through
42:18
Speaker 3: his brother, Yes, so he knew who you were in
42:22
Speaker 3: terms of like Shawn Johnson the gymnast before you started dating.
42:25
Speaker 2: He did.
42:26
Speaker 1: He did, however, something that was very endearing about him,
42:31
Speaker 1: and it was definitely like I think, it was definitely
42:34
Speaker 1: a strategy, but it's also like who he is genuinely.
42:39
Speaker 1: He didn't bring up gymnastics ever, like, never once. A
42:47
Speaker 1: really interesting part of who I was at that time
42:50
Speaker 1: when we started dating was every single person I met
42:53
Speaker 1: in life, the only thing they wanted to know about
42:56
Speaker 1: me was gymnastics, How is the Olympics? How did you whatever?
43:01
Speaker 1: And he never once asked a question that pertained to
43:05
Speaker 1: my gymnastics career, never mentioned the Olympics, nothing, And the
43:10
Speaker 1: only time we would ever talk about is if I
43:12
Speaker 1: ever brought it up. And it just made me feel
43:15
Speaker 1: like such. It made me feel like a human and
43:17
Speaker 1: not this piece of property for the world, I guess,
43:22
Speaker 1: And he was the first person curious about me and
43:25
Speaker 1: I It was just amazing.
43:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love the way that your energy just lights
43:30
Speaker 3: up when you talk about that time and being seen
43:34
Speaker 3: as Sean the person, beyond Sean the Olympian, Sean the
43:40
Speaker 3: four time medalist. On that note, getting to know Sean
43:44
Speaker 3: the person. What would you say is the most exciting
43:49
Speaker 3: thing for Sean right now?
43:52
Speaker 1: My baby? I am all mom these days.
43:57
Speaker 2: Sean.
43:57
Speaker 3: The video of you telling your daughter about the baby
44:01
Speaker 3: and your tummy is the most cute.
44:03
Speaker 2: It's the cutest video ever. Thank you.
44:07
Speaker 1: I live to be a mom. I love to work,
44:09
Speaker 1: I love what I do. I love to come into
44:11
Speaker 1: the office every day. But my baby's are my life
44:14
Speaker 1: and just like to see them grow up and stuff.
44:18
Speaker 1: That is the most exciting. I'm so excited for this baby.
44:21
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for them to join the family.
44:24
Speaker 3: When you think about motherhood and maybe the lessons that
44:27
Speaker 3: you learned from your own mother, is there anything in
44:30
Speaker 3: particular that you're most excited to instill within your children.
44:34
Speaker 1: My husband and I have kind of talked about this,
44:36
Speaker 1: and I think both of our parents did such a
44:38
Speaker 1: phenomenal job with it. We both were raised in very
44:42
Speaker 1: different household as far as like upbringing, an income and
44:46
Speaker 1: like everything, but we are both raised to believe we
44:51
Speaker 1: were capable of anything and there was no limit. Like
44:56
Speaker 1: we both were big dreamers and our parents would go
44:58
Speaker 1: to the ends of the earth to see their dreams
45:01
Speaker 1: come true, and I want to give that to our
45:04
Speaker 1: children as well.
45:05
Speaker 3: I do want to go back to the note when
45:08
Speaker 3: we were talking about pursuing your own individual business ventures.
45:12
Speaker 3: I know that you and I recently connected again when
45:15
Speaker 3: we were at a Kalia event in New York, the
45:18
Speaker 3: second time after we had the opportunity to sit down
45:20
Speaker 3: a few years ago for an interview.
45:22
Speaker 2: God maybe like two thousand and eighteen.
45:25
Speaker 3: New York, time flies when you're having fun, talk to
45:28
Speaker 3: me about being kind of at the forefront working with
45:32
Speaker 3: Kalia and how that's been for you.
45:34
Speaker 1: I adore Kaliyah adore. I have had the opportunity and
45:41
Speaker 1: pleasure of working with so many companies over the years,
45:45
Speaker 1: and I think in every phase of life, I've noticed
45:49
Speaker 1: that very specific brands work for a very specific person.
45:55
Speaker 1: And I was signed as the Elite Athlete, and I
45:58
Speaker 1: was signed as the you know, the mom, and I
46:02
Speaker 1: was signed as whatever it was. But I always had
46:05
Speaker 1: to fit a certain kind of niche to be associated
46:08
Speaker 1: with a brand, and I think one of the most
46:10
Speaker 1: powerful things that I've learned for working firsthand with Clia
46:15
Speaker 1: is that they want to celebrate women in general, and
46:20
Speaker 1: they want their brand to like be suited to every
46:24
Speaker 1: woman in the world. And it's so so cool because
46:30
Speaker 1: I can go as a six month pregnant woman and
46:34
Speaker 1: throw barbells around and Kaliah attire and feel like I'm
46:37
Speaker 1: taking on the world. Or I can go into a
46:40
Speaker 1: business meeting with a board and wear Khalia and feel
46:44
Speaker 1: like a boss, and my mom wears it, and our
46:50
Speaker 1: like manager of our company wears it, who's also like
46:52
Speaker 1: six foot tall, and it's just it's it's been so
46:56
Speaker 1: cool to see how much they care about catering to
46:59
Speaker 1: all women. And it's been really special because I've never
47:03
Speaker 1: I've really never experienced that with a company before, and it's.
47:07
Speaker 2: Been really cool.
47:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'd be curious also, like again talking about
47:14
Speaker 3: being at the forefront, being a face of something along
47:17
Speaker 3: with of course many other women, how that feels for
47:21
Speaker 3: you these days as you're trying to find like homeostasis
47:25
Speaker 3: in your own body.
47:27
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm a mother to a daughter, so it
47:31
Speaker 1: means everything. I feel like. That's honestly the reason why
47:36
Speaker 1: I ended up coming out and sharing like my eating
47:38
Speaker 1: disorder stories and like everything is. I struggled so much
47:42
Speaker 1: as a young girl because I didn't feel like I
47:44
Speaker 1: had anybody to relate to. I feel like everybody just
47:47
Speaker 1: kind of was naturally just who they were and they
47:50
Speaker 1: were okay with it, and I felt alienated because I
47:53
Speaker 1: had insecurities. And I feel like being a woman now
47:57
Speaker 1: associated with a brand like Khalia being in the forefront
48:02
Speaker 1: showing off clothes in my body, whether I mean I'm
48:05
Speaker 1: getting ready to a photoshoot with Khalia seven months pregnant,
48:09
Speaker 1: and I love that because they're so excited about it.
48:11
Speaker 1: But it's this like embracing who you are and embracing
48:16
Speaker 1: the moment you're in as a woman. And I think
48:18
Speaker 1: now being a mother to a daughter, it's all that
48:22
Speaker 1: more important to me to align myself with brands like
48:24
Speaker 1: this and to be comfortable being at the forefront of
48:28
Speaker 1: things because we're not all perfect. We're all going to
48:31
Speaker 1: go through phases of life where we're insecure, But if
48:34
Speaker 1: we can all be transparent about it, I think I'll
48:37
Speaker 1: handle it a lot better.
48:39
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
48:40
Speaker 3: For someone who's listening to this that's struggling with that,
48:43
Speaker 3: self acceptance. You could even call it radical self acceptance,
48:46
Speaker 3: which clearly can be really difficult at times.
48:51
Speaker 2: What advice do you have for them?
48:53
Speaker 1: Find a good support system. I tried to find radical
48:58
Speaker 1: self acceptance my own, and I was not capable of
49:01
Speaker 1: doing that. And I would even call myself pretty strong minded,
49:07
Speaker 1: and I still needed a lot of help. So I
49:10
Speaker 1: found confidance and like I confided in my parents and
49:14
Speaker 1: my best friend and my husband, my nutritionists, to psychologists,
49:18
Speaker 1: and it was having that accountability circle to kind of
49:21
Speaker 1: keep me on point long enough that it became muscle memory,
49:25
Speaker 1: and that when some negative thought creeped into my mind
49:29
Speaker 1: it was foreign and not the reverse. Yeah. Yeah, I
49:33
Speaker 1: would just say, like, confide in someone, you need someone,
49:38
Speaker 1: you need support always.
49:39
Speaker 3: And what I'm hearing you say also is that it
49:43
Speaker 3: took reps right even when you were reflecting about the
49:46
Speaker 3: fact that you've been working with a nutritionist for something
49:48
Speaker 3: like ten years earlier. That is not like I met
49:52
Speaker 3: with someone three times and I am a completely different person,
49:55
Speaker 3: And there is absolutely no shame or shade to the
50:00
Speaker 3: concept of that it will not happen overnight.
50:03
Speaker 1: No, and it won't. And I feel like it's just
50:07
Speaker 1: like that goes against all of culture these days, because
50:11
Speaker 1: we live in a world that wants to fix everything immediately.
50:14
Speaker 1: We want the fast fix too, every question we have.
50:18
Speaker 1: And if you want a true fix, if you want
50:23
Speaker 1: to heal in any in any aspect or area of
50:27
Speaker 1: your life, it will take a lot of time.
50:30
Speaker 2: It will take a lot of time. Sean, I'm curious.
50:33
Speaker 3: You know, someone comes to your Instagram page right now,
50:35
Speaker 3: they see this wife and this mom and an olympian.
50:39
Speaker 3: When you look in the mirror, what is it that
50:41
Speaker 3: you see looking back at you these days?
50:45
Speaker 1: Oh, just someone who has stopped trying so hard. And
50:50
Speaker 1: I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean
50:52
Speaker 1: it in a good way. I used to put so
50:55
Speaker 1: much exhausted effort into making sure people had a good
51:00
Speaker 1: thought of me, and I was doing it in all
51:04
Speaker 1: the wrong ways. And I think when you look at
51:07
Speaker 1: like my Instagram, I'm willing to look like a hot
51:10
Speaker 1: mess and goof off with my husband and film it
51:15
Speaker 1: and post it for the world to see. And I
51:16
Speaker 1: love it. I could care less. I love the freedom
51:21
Speaker 1: that I feel in my mind and in my body.
51:24
Speaker 1: And that's because of the people I have around me,
51:27
Speaker 1: and I just wish I could go back and tell
51:29
Speaker 1: my teenage self, like, stop trying.
51:32
Speaker 3: Some attitude really radiates from you. And again, it's a
51:36
Speaker 3: hard place to get to. It is truly such a
51:39
Speaker 3: journey to get to a place where it's like I
51:41
Speaker 3: feel free being me entirely. It's definitely something that I'm
51:45
Speaker 3: struggling with always.
51:47
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll be working on it for the rest
51:49
Speaker 1: of my life. And like I said, I'm not perfect.
51:51
Speaker 1: I still have the hard days. I still choose willingly
51:55
Speaker 1: to read every Instagram comment and DM.
51:58
Speaker 2: How do you let those roll off?
52:00
Speaker 1: I don't and the ones that I don't I take
52:03
Speaker 1: to my husband.
52:04
Speaker 2: What's your strategy for when something really gets to you?
52:07
Speaker 1: It's interesting. So the reason why I read all of
52:10
Speaker 1: them is I'm almost protective of my followers who read comments.
52:16
Speaker 2: Oh that makes sense, that's very interesting.
52:18
Speaker 1: Actually, it's almost like this motherly instinct of I don't
52:21
Speaker 1: want other people reading hurtful, hateful speech because people shouldn't
52:27
Speaker 1: be saying it in the first place. I don't read
52:29
Speaker 1: it to respond. I read it to like get rid
52:31
Speaker 1: of it, and how do I, like, how do I
52:33
Speaker 1: let it bounce off? If it's pointed towards me. I
52:40
Speaker 1: usually can bounce it off pretty well where I'm just like,
52:44
Speaker 1: it's fine, people are just having a bad day, get
52:47
Speaker 1: rid of it. If people attack people that I love,
52:51
Speaker 1: I have a hard time.
52:52
Speaker 2: Yeah.
52:53
Speaker 1: And that's usually when I go to my husband and
52:56
Speaker 1: he's like, it's not a big deal, delete it, don't
53:00
Speaker 1: think about it, don't read it. But we have this
53:04
Speaker 1: motto at home, since we live on social media, that
53:08
Speaker 1: whatever you respond to, you get more of And we
53:12
Speaker 1: as hard as it is for me, because I would
53:14
Speaker 1: love to clap back at people, just kind of like
53:17
Speaker 1: we're taught in kindergarten, spread more kindness.
53:19
Speaker 3: I absolutely love that. And then he's also like, where
53:21
Speaker 3: do they live? And can I beat them up?
53:23
Speaker 2: I understand. I totally get it.
53:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I totally get it.
53:27
Speaker 2: Such a really beautiful perspective.
53:29
Speaker 3: Wherever you water, the grass grows, right, So like to
53:32
Speaker 3: focus on the good, to focus on the kindness and
53:34
Speaker 3: only in powers it enables you to find more of
53:37
Speaker 3: that in your day to day.
53:38
Speaker 1: Yes, which isn't always easy.
53:40
Speaker 3: No, it certainly isn't. I'm so grateful that we were
53:44
Speaker 3: able to make this time today. I know you just
53:47
Speaker 3: mentioned a piece of advice you'd give your younger self.
53:49
Speaker 3: But I end every episode the exact same way, asking
53:53
Speaker 3: you to give a piece of advice to yourself during
53:56
Speaker 3: one of your most difficult hurdle moments, arguably when you
53:59
Speaker 3: were dealing with such a difficult conversation internal dialogue surrounding
54:04
Speaker 3: the eating disorder back in two thousand and eight. Knowing
54:08
Speaker 3: what you know now, what would you tell your younger
54:11
Speaker 3: self during that hurdle moment.
54:16
Speaker 1: I mean, I get two things come to mind. I
54:18
Speaker 1: would say, ask for help sooner. It took me getting
54:21
Speaker 1: to a really dark place for me to ever ask
54:24
Speaker 1: for help. And I think if we were all just
54:26
Speaker 1: a little less stubborn and we asked for help sooner,
54:30
Speaker 1: it would prevent a lot of things. And then in
54:35
Speaker 1: the moment of like when I was in that dark
54:37
Speaker 1: place and I finally asked for help and I was
54:38
Speaker 1: trying to get better, I would say, give more to
54:43
Speaker 1: the people who are helping you. And I mean that
54:46
Speaker 1: in the sense of I always, even when I asked
54:50
Speaker 1: for help, I still tried to reserve so much to
54:53
Speaker 1: myself where I was like, oh, I can handle that.
54:55
Speaker 1: I don't need to tell them, or I don't need
54:58
Speaker 1: to tell them the whole. And I think, just like
55:04
Speaker 1: when people are truly trying to help you, unload it
55:07
Speaker 1: all onto them. And I don't mean that like in
55:09
Speaker 1: a disrespectful way to them, But if my daughter or
55:12
Speaker 1: a friend ever came to me and said I need
55:13
Speaker 1: help with this, I would want them to put all
55:15
Speaker 1: of the weight on me because I'm walking in there
55:18
Speaker 1: with the confidence and they build the knowledge of knowing
55:20
Speaker 1: like I can handle this, and I want to support you,
55:23
Speaker 1: and I know you can't handle it right now. So
55:27
Speaker 1: just like caring, let people carry the weight for you
55:29
Speaker 1: when you need it the most.
55:30
Speaker 2: Yeah.
55:31
Speaker 3: Wow, so powerful and again just so grateful that we
55:35
Speaker 3: were able to get to talk to Sean the all
55:38
Speaker 3: around person, not just Sean the gymnast. For those that
55:43
Speaker 3: don't follow along with you just yet, although I'm sure
55:45
Speaker 3: many of them do, how do they keep up with you?
55:48
Speaker 2: Give us the detail Sean.
55:50
Speaker 1: Sean Johnson or Sean Johnson East on all platforms and
55:54
Speaker 1: the East Fam on YouTube on YouTube.
55:57
Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily a body at Hurdle pod cast
56:00
Speaker 3: another Hurdle conquered.
56:02
Speaker 2: Catch you guys next time.