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Perimenopause Is Not a Career Decline: What to Know and What to Do · Loud & Lifted

• 0:00
  Let's talk about perimenopause. I know what you
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  may be thinking on the surface, this seems like
• 0:04
  a strange topic for Women in Leadership podcast.
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  But after my conversation with Dr. Case Troutman,
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  I actually think the connection is pretty obvious.
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  If you're over 40, you probably cannot go very
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  long without hearing someone talk about it. It
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  comes up with friends, it shows up in your social
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  media feed. And eventually you start hearing
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  enough of the symptoms that you think, okay,
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  wait a second, this sounds very familiar. That
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  was definitely my experience. For a long time,
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  I thought I was just stressed. And to be fair,
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  I had plenty of reason to be. Work had been intense.
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  Life had been insane. There was a lot going on.
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  So when I started waking up at 3 AM and couldn't
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  go back to sleep consistently, I just blamed
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  stress. When I felt like I was constantly carrying
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  this high anxiety, like my body was always slightly
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  on edge, I blamed that on stress too. And because
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  I wasn't having hot flashes, perimenopause was
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  really not even on my radar. That was basically
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  my understanding of menopause for most of my
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  life. Hot flashes, moodiness, eventually your
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  period stops. That's pretty much the curriculum
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  that I knew. What Dr. Troutman helped explain
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  is that for a lot of women, it does not look
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  like that at all. It can look like fatigue, anxiety,
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  disrupted sleep, difficulty concentrating, brain
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  fog, feeling overwhelmed, or just that vague
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  feeling of not quite feeling like yourself. And
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  that matters because none of those things stay
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  neatly contained in your personal life. If you're
• 1:30
  not sleeping, that follows you to work. If you
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  can't focus the way you normally do, that follows
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  you into a meeting. If your anxiety is suddenly
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  much higher than usual, that can absolutely affect
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  how you communicate, make decisions, or show
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  up in a high -stakes situation. So one of the
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  biggest takeaways for me was to stop assuming
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  everything is just stress. That does not mean
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  your stress is not real. Most women in this stage
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  of life have plenty of it. You may be leading
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  a team, raising kids, helping aging parents,
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  managing a household, running a business, and
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  doing some combination yes of all that. You're
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  under a lot of pressure. But what Dr. Chapman
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  kept coming back to was the idea of asking, what
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  if it's not just stress? That's such a simple
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  question because I think it's also so important.
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  It gives you another explanation besides, am
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  I just not handling things as well as I used
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  to? And that is where women can get really hard
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  on themselves. We start thinking maybe we need
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  a better routine to get more organized. Maybe
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  we need to exercise more and sleep better, manage
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  our time better, or somehow become more disciplined
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  than we already are. Meanwhile, there may be
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  a biological reason why everything feels harder.
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  Dr. Trotman called this the silent tax, and I
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  thought that was such a good way to describe
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  it. We keep compensating for what is happening
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  without really understanding it. We make more
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  list. We over -prepare. We put reminders everywhere.
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  We work longer because it takes more effort to
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  focus. And then when something slips, we take
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  it personally. This is where it becomes a career
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  issue. Brain fog is one thing when you're standing
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  in your kitchen trying to remember why you walked
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  into the room. It feels very different when you're
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  presenting to a client, leading a meeting, or
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  sitting in a room where your credibility matters.
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  You know the information, you've said the word
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  a hundred times, and then suddenly it's just
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  gone. The problem is that in that moment you
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  were not only trying to remember the word, you're
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  also thinking about what everyone else in the
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  room now thinks about you. Do they think I'm
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  unprepared, that I can't handle this? Do they
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  think I'm losing my edge? And then, because we're
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  human, we start asking ourselves the same questions.
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  That's the part I really want women to hear.
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  Struggling with sleep, anxiety, focus, or brain
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  fog does not automatically mean your capability
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  has changed. And the timing of all this is especially
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  frustrating because perimenopause often shows
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  up during some of our biggest career years. We
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  have finally built the experience, the confidence,
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  the credibility. We're leading bigger teams,
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  taking on bigger roles, running companies. And
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  at the exact same time, our bodies may be making
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  some of those things feel much harder than they
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  used to. This does not mean we're past our peak.
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  It means we may need to understand what is actually
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  happening before we start making big assumptions
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  about ourselves. The other big takeaway from
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  Dr. Troutman was that normal does not mean you
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  have to suffer. She said there is no metal for
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  suffering and that line stuck with me because
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  women are very good at powering through and calling
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  it strength. We take care of everybody else first.
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  We handle the appointments, the schedules, the
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  work, the family stuff, all of it. And meanwhile,
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  we may not have been sleeping for six months
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  and thinking, I'll deal with it eventually. I
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  did that too. I also brought up some of these
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  symptoms with another doctor before I met Dr.
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  Troutman and basically got, yeah, that's normal
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  for your age. And I walked away thinking, OK,
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  so I guess that means I just deal with it. But
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  normal and untreatable are not the same thing.
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  That's an important distinction. Dr. Troutman
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  was also very clear that every symptom is not
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  automatically perimenopause. A good provider
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  should look at the full picture and rule out
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  other things that can cause fatigue, anxiety,
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  brain fog, or sleep issues. But if you're in
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  this stage of life and something feels noticeably
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  different, it's worth having a conversation with
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  someone who actually understands menopause care
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  and gives a shit. There are options. For some
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  women, hormone therapy can be incredibly helpful.
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  For others, it may not be appropriate or may
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  not be what they want. Dr. Troutman talks about
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  looking at the full picture through meals, movement,
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  mind, and meds, which can include things like
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  nutrition, exercise, strength training, sleep,
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  support, stress management, therapy, coaching,
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  hormone therapy, and other medications just depending
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  on the person. And I think one of the most useful
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  things that she said was that sometimes telling
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  an exhausted woman to just eat better and exercise
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  more is not especially helpful. It's not bad
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  advice, of course. It's just hard to execute
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  when you are completely depleted. Sometimes you
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  need help feeling better before you can consistently
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  do all those other things to help support your
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  health. So if you're listening to this and thinking,
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  okay, this sounds very familiar. Here's where
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  I would start. Pay attention to what's changed,
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  not just hot flashes. Look at your sleep, anxiety,
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  your energy, your concentration, patience, and
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  even whether you just feel like yourself. You
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  don't need to track every emotion and turn this
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  into a giant project, but it's worth noticing
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  patterns because those patterns help you have
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  a much better conversation with the provider.
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  And then find someone who knows what they're
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  talking about. Ask whether they regularly work
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  with women in perimenopause. Ask how they evaluate
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  symptoms. Ask what treatment options they discuss
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  and what else they want to rule out. If you feel
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  dismissed, keep going. You are not being dramatic
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  because you want to sleep through the night.
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  And remember basic nouns. I mean, these are very
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  reasonable goals. And finally, be careful about
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  turning any of this into a statement about your
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  competence. If you're struggling with focus or
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  sleep or anxiety, get curious before you get
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  critical. Do not immediately decide that you
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  are not as sharp anymore or maybe that you can't
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  handle the role or maybe you should go after
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  a less opportunity. There may be something biological
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  happening that deserves attention before you
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  make it mean something bigger about who you are.
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  And if you need some support at work, you get
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  to decide what that looks like. You do not need
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  to announce your medical history in a conference
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  room. You may simply need to talk about the impact,
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  whether that's sleep disruption, a health issue,
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  or needing a little more structure around something
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  just for a period of time. Every workplace is
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  different and disclosure is personal, but quietly
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  struggling is not your only option. So if there's
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  one thing I want you to take away from this is
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  that. Perimenopause is normal. It's common. Yes,
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  it's going to happen. And it can absolutely affect
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  how you show up in your career. But that does
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  not mean that you're declining. It does not mean
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  that you are suddenly less capable. And it definitely
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  does not mean that you need to spend the next
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  several, and I mean several years, white -knuckling
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  your way through it. Pay attention to what's
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  changed. Ask questions. Find someone who listens
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  and explore the options that make sense for you.
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  Because taking care of yourself is not separate.
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  from being a strong leader. It's part of how
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  you stay one. And there's absolutely no metal
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  for suffering through this alone. If you have
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  not listened to my full conversation with Dr.
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  Case Troutman, go back and listen. There's so
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  much information about what perimenopause actually
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  is, treatment options, and why this matters so
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  much for women at work. Until next time, stay
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  loud, stay lifted, and know that you are not
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  in this alone.