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Does Narcissism Run In Families? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Boom, does narcissism narcissism run in families?
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  That's what we're talking about today.
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  Y'all Of course, if you're new here, I'm Lee Hammock diagnosed
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  narcissist myself here to get here to give you the inside look
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  at the mind in the workings of a narcissist.
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  So first of all, I know a lot of people, I already got comments
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  in here hopping there say yes, it does run in the family.
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  I say absolutely yes, that it does run in families.
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  Well, look, I was, I've been doing a little research on this
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  type of thing right here. Yeah, I've done a little
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  research, I've done a little research.
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  And there are some researchers that say that there could be a
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  genetic component attached to personality disorders, right.
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  Narcissism, schizophrenia, I don't think schizophrenia,
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  personality disorder, not sure, but narcissism, borderline, all
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  that type of stuff. They said that there is a a they
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  could be a genetic component. Notice I said could be right Now
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  are there other narcissists in my family?
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  I would think there are some narcissistic people in my
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  family. I know, but most people would
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  think my dad is a narcissist. But I'm not 100% certain if he's
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  a narcissist, right? I know he's a he was a
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  traumatized child that retreated within himself and just never
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  came out of that retreatment, right?
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  He never, he never unretreated. He never gave yourself the
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  opportunity to be better or to heal or whatnot.
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  So he's all, he's still has a lot of work to do on himself,
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  but he definitely contributed to pass to passing it down to where
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  I'm at, right? He definitely contributed to
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  where I'm at because it's just emotional neglect, the emotional
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  neglect that this person had for me and my brothers and whatnot,
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  right? It definitely led to contributed
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  to narcissistic personality disorder being something that I
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  am diagnosed with. But there are some people who do
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  have these narcissistic family systems.
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  Let's keep it hot and ready like a Little Caesar's pizza.
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  There are some people, there are some families out there that
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  damn near every person in that family is a narcissist or highly
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  narcissistic or psychopathic, right?
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  Family of psychopaths. And it's crazy.
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  The one person that comes out that isn't a psychopath is the
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  black sheep. The one person that comes out
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  that isn't a narcissist turns out, turns around and becomes
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  the black sheep of that family because they are not a
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  psychopath. Well, they're not a narcissist,
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  so they're not a sociopath, right?
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  You're like, you got a healthy mind, boy.
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  I think you should get the hell out of this family.
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  Your mind is way too healthy for us now.
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  How silly does that sound right there, y'all?
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  I know it sounds silly as hell, but that's that mentality right
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  there. It it really is like if you
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  somebody say that's me, I'm the black sheep and bad.
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  But there's sometimes, look, sometimes you end up being the
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  black sheep of that family system and because you don't
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  have a personality disorder or you're not toxic and abusive,
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  like this type of stuff happens. I, I feel like it could
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  absolutely have a genetic component where it could
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  absolutely run in certain families.
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  You know, although my father is, might not be a diagnosed
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  narcissist, he's definitely got some childhood trauma that, that
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  manifested into his adult life that made him who he is today.
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  Right? But I think just based on
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  something, something my, my own personal therapist told me, she
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  thinks that she just thought that like, you know, she
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  postulated that my grandfather who unalived himself at 27 years
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  old on a Monday morning, he unalived himself with three kids
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  in the house at 5:30 in the morning on a Monday.
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  That he might have had undiagnosed schizophrenia
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  because he just woke up 1 morning literally, and just went
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  in there in the bathroom and took a, took a Pew Pew and said
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  goodbye to everybody. And I'm pretty sure my dad was
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  in the house. My dad, my, my dad, my uncle, my
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  aunt maybe found him, my grandma found him.
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  And that led to them being traumatized at a very young age,
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  you know, in the 70s or it happened in the early 70s.
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  There's no therapy for a little like a little black boy in the
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  70s. Like, what are you gonna do?
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  You know, go to school. Your, your, your father takes
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  his own, takes his life on a Monday.
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  You're back in school probably on that Wednesday or Thursday.
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  Time to get back to school, son, you know, therapy, go to school.
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  You know what I'm saying? You don't know how to.
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  So they didn't, he didn't have the opportunity to process that
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  or deal with it. So me learning that in my
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  adulthood help me forgive him for being the emotionally
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  neglectful person that he was, right.
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  I got the chance. I, I guess actually got the
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  opportunity to understand that like he is the way that he is
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  because of what happened to him in childhood.
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  Now, could he have worked on it nowadays?
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  Yeah. But I think he's about to be 60
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  years old. He went to therapy at 60.
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  You see what I'm saying? He he's, I mean, I'm not saying
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  it's a, I'm not saying it's impossible to go to therapy at
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  60, but I would say that it's important.
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  I mean, I would suggest that he goes, you know what I mean?
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  But that's part of my story right there.
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  So does it run in my family? Personality disorders or some
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  mental health stuff? Absolutely runs in my family.
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  But narcissistic personality disorder, I don't think runs in
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  the family, right. If it did run in my family,
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  y'all, y'all hear that quote? It ran in my family until it ran
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  into me. Boom, That's how I go.
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  It ran in my family until it ran into me because I went to
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  therapy and kind of put a stop to it.
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  I'm trying to be a better father for my children.
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  Right. A better example for my children
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  and whatnot. Sure.
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  What's going on? Sure.
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  How you doing, girl? I had, I am damaged because my
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  mom grew up in a broken home. I cut ties with that.
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  Yeah, sometimes that's sometimes that's what ends up happening to
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  happen right there, y'all. Sometimes you end up happening
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  to set yourself free, you know, from your family dynamic.
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  And it. It can be very tough, very
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  scary. Boo, very scary space to be in.
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  You know it absolutely can. So sometimes it it becomes a
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  requirement to be able to to set yourself free sometimes because
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  if you stay around it right, you will inevitably develop more of
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  it. You inevitably become more of
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  that you most people don't want to become more of that right.
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  You don't want to be that you don't want to be that type of
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  person. You don't want to be that person
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  that gets just gets drained and hurt and all that other stuff.
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  You don't want that type of stuff to happen.
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  So if you feel like, let's just say you married a narcissist or
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  you're with one or you have kids with one or whatever, right?
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  Let's say you have kids or children with a narcissist and
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  you and you come to this video, you just like, well, it doesn't
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  run into the family. I'm afraid for my kids to be
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  narcissist. That that means it's time to
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  lock in, right? It's absolutely time to lock in
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  to what's actually going on. It's time to really 100% lock in
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  like to loving your kids, to showering them with of not not
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  showering them with infection, but shout making sure they have
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  a healthy environment mental health wise to flourish in.
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  Because if they're in an environment, like if they're in
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  an environment was completely toxic, what do you think is
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  going to happen to them? Yeah, Could they develop a
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  shield and become an impact? Yeah, the possibility exists,
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  but that's them doing it. That's your kids carrying that
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  load. That's your kids carrying that
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  burden right there, right? That's your kids carrying that
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  burden, right? They popped up on you, Sherry.
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  Oh, Lord, yeah. He's going to keep doing that
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  because you know, he knows who you are.
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  He's definitely going to pop up on you.
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  And I guess he thinks it's popping up on you.
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  If he can, he'll just wear you down and get what he wants.
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  And then this cycle continues until it it doesn't, right?
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  That's the the process, right? And it sucks to be even going
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  through that. I'm a mess and 1/2 right now.
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  Time to start working. It's time to start working.
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  Y'all if y'all just join the live.
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  If you don't know, I do have a course.
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  It's called finding your why How to heal from narcissistic abuse.
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  It's 40 long videos about healing from narcissistic abuse.
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  Leaving is one thing y'all. Leaving a toxic relationship is
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  one thing. Healing from it, escaping it and
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  being better is a completely different journey.
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  So you can find that on my website, mentalillness.net,
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  right? Or courses.mentalillness.net.
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  And you can enter the code mothers or fathers for 50% off.
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  What the hell? Just about what?
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  Sherry? What the hell?
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  The messages came across my screen.
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  Sherry, What the? Yeah, it might be time for you
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  to call the police. Girl, the shit like that is
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  happening. Hell no.
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  It's you. Blessings on your healing
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  journey. I'm sorry, just the message.
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  I just, the messages came across my computer just shocked me.
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  Yeah, you might want to call the police because that shit is
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  getting dangerous. More dangerous.
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  That's just literally just shocked me.
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  All right, I left and trying to heal.
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  I'm almost there. I'm telling you, the courses can
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  help you. I do.
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  I do one on ones over Zoom. Those can help out a lot.
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  Y'all. I've talked to thousands of
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  people in the last few years, but my courses are self-paced.
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  You can take them. You can take them.
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  Take your time taking the course.
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  Go through it. It's 40 y'all.
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  I wrote 20. I wrote a 25,000 word script for
• 8:59
  my course from all the coaching, all the the groups I've done and
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  whatnot. That's what that's where it
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  comes from. That's where the finally your Y
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  course comes from. My knowledge on my own personal
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  journey and the journey that I've been able to assist
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  literally thousands of people healed and escaped toxic
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  narcissistic relationship. My website is right here y'all.
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  Again, mothers and fathers get you 50% off my courses and those
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  are like super cheap. I promise you, I promise you.
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  Well, the code again, the code is mothers, mothers or fathers.
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  You go mental illness.net or courses.mentalillness.net enter
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  code mothers or fathers, right. I used to it used to just be
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  mothers, but I was like the the the fellas need a code too, but
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  it either code works. Either code works.
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  But if you feel like narcissism is running in your family or
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  running in your partner's family that you're dealing with that
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  you're trying to raise kids with, I'm telling you, get your
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  kids in the into therapy if possible.
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  There's people that I know that get their kids in the play
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  therapy that just give them a space to vent and be have a
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  healthy place to be themselves because that's so important.
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  You want to create a nurturing environment for your children, a
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  safe place. If you doing 5050 custody or
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  whatever the case may be, your home needs to be like a
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  decompression zone like you need, they need to feel safe in
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  your house to vent, to be themselves and to not walk on
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  egg shells, right? If you feel like narcissism is
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  running in your, your, your ex's family or whatever the case may
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  be, you have to be that you, you're, it's not, it's not fair,
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  but you have to carry the emotional labor.
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  You have to carry the load of the emotional labor right there.
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  It just that's what ends up happening.
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  So it's so many people that go through this and they're just
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  dealing with this type of stuff right here.
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  Well, the narcissists say they want to come see you but keep
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  texting you doing an argument and say you aren't talking in
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  text or they're not coming because that.
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  Now, Carrie, if if you're already talking to me, I don't
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  have to come see you because sometimes coming to see you just
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  means I want to make sure I still have access to you.
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  But the fact that you're talking to me already shows me this.
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  I don't need to come see you now.
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  I can just string you alone. I know where you are.
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  I know you're not going out. You thought that I was coming
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  over so you're at home waiting on me.
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  So you're not going out. Guess what I'm doing though?
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  I can go out. I can do what I want to do.
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  Then I also know where you are. That's a part of it right there,
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  y'all? I'm 52, last 32 years have been
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  fake. It's time to live.
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  Make the rest of your life the best of your life.
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  Make the rest of your life the best of your life.
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  And also y'all I do have I do I gotta get ready to hop off this
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  thing. I do have a support group called
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  the mental healers. We go live every single Sunday
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  night. I'm about to actually hop off of
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  here and do my private zoom with my mental healers support group.
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  You can find that at mentalillness.net as well.
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  My support group, there's a lot of people in the group, made a
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  lot of friends, a lot of connections and whatnot to help
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  you, to assist you on your healing journey.
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  Like the connections, the people that understand what you're
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  going through, they're literally in the support group.
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  The mental healer support group is live and well.
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  What do I do? Haley?
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  Haley, what do I do? We recently got a paternity test
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  at his request, just to be spiteful.
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  The test came back. The baby is his, which I knew
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  since day one. He begged me to have her.
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  So what do I do now? I mean, now you got to get ready
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  to go parent. I just.
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  Yeah, I think I, I can see with the paternity test when you when
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  you're 2 weeks pregnant or 4 weeks pregnant, we're like,
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  like, what do I do? I'm like, look, you might want
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  to go to Planned Parenthood, right?
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  But now it's too late for that. So now you have to see how the
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  Co parenting journey is going to go.
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  Now he's going to try to mess with you and try to torture you
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  through Co parenting, which is going to be an extremely tough
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  journey to take right there. Y'all extremely tough thing to
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  do. Mine is on dating apps but tells
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  me he still loves me and wants me back.
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  We are legally married. He hurt me so bad.
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  It was supposed to be us to the end us at the end but now but
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  you saw but his actions are showing you that it's not
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  supposed to be y'all at the end. So it's it's a tough, it's
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  really a tough thing to accept, but it's a necessary thing to
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  accept right here if you want to move forward.
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  He's he's on dating apps telling you he loves you because he gets
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  to keep access to you and hold you right where you are while
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  he's out here fucking around and doing some bullshit while you
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  sit right there and wait on him, which is kind of crazy.
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  You right weight on him and he's just going to do it again and
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  again and again and you're going to feel like you wasted your
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  life anyway, y'all, I do have to hop off of here.
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  I say I had to hop off to my support group, the mental
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  healers again. You can find
• 13:18
  mysupportgrouplink@mentalillness.net. We will chat later on and hit
• 13:23
  the subscribe button. Y'all peace.