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Not Having Babies · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mama's. Dear mama's, why
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: are young people not having babies these days?
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Well, let's ask our American mama's Alma mama, she said.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: And joining us now we're American Mama's turn Netville and
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Kimberly Burlason. Well, I mean one of your your kids
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: have had a baby. So that's that's enough, right.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, let's keep going. Let's do it, bring me those
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: grand babies.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: I'm so you know, drive into shreetport. I was on
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: the phone with my son and I was kind of frustrated.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: He told me, which I thought was kind of funny.
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: He said, Mom, there is a trend. There is a
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: trend with my generation right now, and the trend is
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: men don't want to help take care of the baby.
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: I mean they want like the little moments, but they
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: don't want like sole responsibility. And I was like a
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: trend time soub frequently. So that's what I told him.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: But I don't want that. I said, that's sad. Well,
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: worst case scenario, I thought I hung up with them,
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: and I didn't hang up with them, and so he
• 1:10
  Speaker 4: heard me say to my husband, I said, that's so
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: sad that makes me sad. I don't you know babies
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: or this and that. And then I heard my son say,
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: when you want to start talking about me, you might
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: want to check your phonte. I went, no, No, I'm not.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: I'm just saying it's sad to me that you you're
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: postponing having children because you think you need to be
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: in the mindset that I want to be able to
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: watch this baby all the time. And it doesn't work
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: that way.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: Oh you see where it's coming from now.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: So he's, oh, this is one of those I've got
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: to be ready. Yes, I have kids, And yet that's
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: the that's the absolute wrong way to go about something.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: One of our mottols here on the show since we've
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: beg been since we started, we're gonna jump and we're
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: gonna learn to fly on the way down.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: OK, And that is parenthood because it does it come
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: with a manual. You jump and you learn to fly
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: on the way down.
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: It's like people who say, well, we're going to get
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: all of our ducks in a row before we get married.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: You know, I don't want to have a job for
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: at least three years, When it's just like no, just.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: If you if you want to do it.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Do it.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: If you want to have a baby, do it. God
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: will help you. You've got this. I mean our parents' generation,
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: they had them right out of high school, right, you know,
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: so they were very young when we had our children,
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: they were young grandparents.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: But I also get those early years, those those infant
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: toddler years are very hard years, and it is very
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: hard to watch a child. I know that you're watching
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: your grandchild and he's all over the place, cannot take
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: your eyes off on them. And so I do know
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: that as a mother, we're kind of like made that way.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: We're made to like be a part of all of it.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: We just need breaks, We just need our moments of breaks,
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: whereas men aren't quite as equipped. You know, I don't
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: want to see it, maybe not internally like most yes, yes,
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: just innately like they want to like play, play, play here, mom,
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: take care of all the other nests. Yes, yes, you know,
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: I think that's normal.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: But you know, there's also I think perhaps I had
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: a little bit of a different approach as a as
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: a dad, simply because I had already had a different
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: approach as a husband. Where for for Wendy and I,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: it was never she does all the cleaning, and then
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I do all the work. She did. She worked, I worked,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: We both cleaned. So before we even had kids, we
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: had a fairly even partnership to begin with.
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: Did you talk about it before you had kids? Did
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: you talk about.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: About what we were going to be like as parents?
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Oh yeah, like what my role is going to be?
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: You're we wrong, yes, but yeah, you have those conversations.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: This is one of those things. This is like my
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: best advice that I ever have for for for parents,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: for new parents, come in. This is this is the
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: best thing I got right here. People say all the
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: time when you're about to get married, they're like, oh,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: you get married, everything changes. You get married, everything changes.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: So Whenny and I got married, and about a week later,
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  Speaker 1: we just were sitting there looking at each other and
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: we're like, did anything change? She's like, not a thing
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: changed for me. I was like, so nothing changed. What
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: they don't I don't tell you is the moment, the
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: moment you become a parent, everything change. So this whole
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I think, you know, I think I'm going to be
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: a dad that just plays with the kid. Wait until
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: the moment that child is born, and there's there's a
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: switch that goes off and it changes how you actually
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: want to interact.
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: With the world exactly.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: The people are like, hey, you're gonna cut the umbilical cord.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: You're gonna cut the ubilica out. Before we got the kid,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, there are doctors for that. I
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: am paying good money for physicians to do their job
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: cutting the umbilical cord. That is the physicians stuff. That's
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: not my job. And the son's born. Nurses you want
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: to cut the umbilical cord. I'm like, yes, exactly, exactly,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I want to and I cut that, Yes, absolutely.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: You know what I discovered and this I bet you
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: a lot of young moms are discovering this. So when
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Kevin I got married, we both felt, you know, the
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: same way about raising our children. I was going to
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: stay home, and he was in a position where he
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: could work and provide for the entire family, so I
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: didn't have to work. But it was I was going
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: to stay home with the kids. Here's a problem that
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: came along with that even when he was home, since
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: I was when staying home, he would I would, you know,
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: be exhausted or whatever, and I'd say things like, can
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: you can you watch him while I go? Can you
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: do this while I go? And then yeah, And it
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: got to where he kind of he liked that, you know,
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: because I was always really in charge. He could go
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: and do whatever. So we had a conversation early on
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: and I said, Okay, this isn't working. We're both Yes,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: I love that I get to stay home, but I
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: also need a break and I don't want to feel
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: like that I'm asking you permission to babysit our. But
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: and then he was like, oh, I didn't know I
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: was doing that. I was like, yeah, yeah, you're doing it,
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: and so you know, but that's one of the traps
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: that you get into. You like you feel like that, Oh,
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  Speaker 3: since I had the honor of staying home, I don't
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: want to upset the one that's providing and make him
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: do any more than he has.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: No.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: No, no, you're in that together. So when he's off,
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: yeah you're off too. Are both on together with the baby,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: you know. So that's a conversation you should have.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: I agree, you should be having those conversations before you
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: have kids. And you're also gonna understand that your expectations
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: may not match reality, and you'll learn to fly on
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: the way down. If you like, askar American Mama is
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: a question. Got our website at markground Radio dot com
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: slash mamas and click on the ask the Momas button.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Terry Neutville, Kimberly bro listen. Thank you so much, Thank you,