Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Winging It with Aurora Culpo (Live from Palm Springs!)

Transcript

Winging It with Aurora Culpo (Live from Palm Springs!) · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

0:00
Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
0:08
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in.
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Speaker 3: Scrub dab dab from our airbnb in Palm Spring.
0:14
Speaker 2: That's right, Tanya and I are fresh, freshly woken from
0:18
Speaker 2: a slumber in our shared room.
0:21
Speaker 3: Yes, aren't you happy we did that? It was a
0:23
Speaker 3: good time. We were up late one thirty six am.
0:27
Speaker 3: I had to tell you. I was like, we've got
0:29
Speaker 3: to go out of bed. You're just chit chatting.
0:32
Speaker 1: You were chit chatting.
0:34
Speaker 3: I know, I know.
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Speaker 2: But we do have a guest today, and we're very excited.
0:39
Speaker 2: We love love this family, Love this family. I love
0:43
Speaker 2: this sister. She's one of my faves. She's one of
0:45
Speaker 2: our faves. She's a social media influencer, she's a mommy blogger.
0:50
Speaker 3: She has her own podcast.
0:52
Speaker 1: Yes, it's called Barely Filtered And can everybody please give
0:57
Speaker 1: a warm welcome to our guest, oh.
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Speaker 3: Ora Kopa WHOA. I'm excited. I think my volume is
1:09
Speaker 3: high on this Oh was it my helm?
1:11
Speaker 2: Yeah?
1:12
Speaker 3: So sorry, welcome back, Aurora.
1:15
Speaker 4: I know I feel like I've been I've been on
1:17
Speaker 4: this podcast at least once before. Maybe I just felt
1:20
Speaker 4: like it was more than once.
1:21
Speaker 1: No, it was more than once because you come around,
1:23
Speaker 1: You've come on with your sisters, so we had like
1:27
Speaker 1: the three of you, and then we've had you solo.
1:30
Speaker 1: So you're really like, this is your third time a veteran.
1:33
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you guys are still going, like I'm on,
1:38
Speaker 4: I'm on year two of my podcast and like, I
1:42
Speaker 4: don't know, it's tough to keep going with these things. Evidently,
1:48
Speaker 4: I don't know, You're like, what is.
1:51
Speaker 3: There to talk about? Although I feel like you have
1:53
Speaker 3: no shortage of things to talk about in your life.
1:57
Speaker 4: Oh, I never, I definitely don't. But also like Grey's
2:00
Speaker 4: Anatomy is like almost vintage now, right.
2:03
Speaker 1: Scrubbing in, Yeah, we've really taken a departure. So like
2:09
Speaker 1: seven years ago when we started this here journey, that's
2:13
Speaker 1: what we scrubbing in was about. We talked about Grays
2:16
Speaker 1: a lot, and I feel like over the years it's
2:18
Speaker 1: kind of, uh dwindled.
2:20
Speaker 3: A little bit. I would say, we don't talk about
2:22
Speaker 3: it ever.
2:23
Speaker 1: We really don't talk about it ever. So now scrubbing
2:25
Speaker 1: in really.
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Speaker 4: Just means I don't think though.
2:29
Speaker 1: Scrubbing in just means you're like part of the sisterhood.
2:33
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got it. You're like tuning in or trip
2:37
Speaker 4: or okay, like an initiation. Yeah, I mean I dig it.
2:40
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, No, I mean you know have names
2:43
Speaker 3: like barely filtered.
2:44
Speaker 4: Yeah know, of course, and it's so you know, it's
2:49
Speaker 4: there's nothing nothing filtered out there. There's like twenty five
2:52
Speaker 4: million podcasts named something filtered or unfiltered.
2:55
Speaker 3: Wait.
2:56
Speaker 2: I have a question about because basically you're pod cast.
3:00
Speaker 2: You you just you share, and do you ever share things?
3:04
Speaker 2: And then you go, I don't know if I want
3:09
Speaker 2: that in there?
3:09
Speaker 3: Can we take that out? Or is your mindset like
3:12
Speaker 3: it's out there? Release it.
3:16
Speaker 4: I think that's one of my strengths with podcasting is
3:18
Speaker 4: that I actually don't re listen to the episodes that
3:21
Speaker 4: I record, and I don't ever have edits, so that's
3:25
Speaker 4: just like it just what I say goes. And there's
3:27
Speaker 4: certain guests Sophia Culpo, who like every time we have
3:30
Speaker 4: her on, we're like, oh do we want to have
3:33
Speaker 4: her on again? Because she has so many edits, And
3:35
Speaker 4: I'm like, I'm like, who cares, like just say it?
3:39
Speaker 4: But yeah, for sure, I have like I think yes,
3:45
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't even think that that's exclusive to
3:47
Speaker 4: my podcast. I think even in my dating life, in
3:50
Speaker 4: my personal life, I say and do things like in
3:55
Speaker 4: with my immediate re it's my immediate I act. Then
3:58
Speaker 4: I think that could be in trouble all the time.
4:02
Speaker 4: But that's like a very Fry's quality, and it's great
4:05
Speaker 4: in some ways, because some things you do just need
4:07
Speaker 4: to jump into and just say the thing that you're feeling.
4:10
Speaker 4: But I often feel like, oh I probably could have
4:13
Speaker 4: like thought about that for a sec or you know,
4:16
Speaker 4: or like some days you don't feel you know, when
4:18
Speaker 4: you put up a story and then it's like I'll
4:20
Speaker 4: have to live with this for twenty four hours if
4:22
Speaker 4: you're not in the mood anymore.
4:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I just deleted though.
4:26
Speaker 3: Oh really, I've actually never had that thought.
4:29
Speaker 4: I did.
4:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm an editor.
4:33
Speaker 4: People are still responding to it, and you're like, that
4:36
Speaker 4: was so like, yeah, me yesterday, I'm a different person,
4:39
Speaker 4: you know.
4:40
Speaker 3: My actually, my opinion on this.
4:42
Speaker 2: Has shifted a bit, and I don't know if I
4:44
Speaker 2: stand with who I was yesterday exactly.
4:48
Speaker 4: I don't even know who she was.
4:51
Speaker 3: That was a different me. We've moved on.
4:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, they should maybe cut those down to twelve hours
4:56
Speaker 2: just for people who might want to redo it.
4:59
Speaker 1: I wish they last longer, if I'm being honest, but
5:01
Speaker 1: put on my own.
5:05
Speaker 4: Choice.
5:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, you brought up something that we wanted to get into,
5:11
Speaker 2: which is your dating life.
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Speaker 1: I mean I have so First of all, I have
5:15
Speaker 1: so many questions for you. I don't know where to start.
5:19
Speaker 1: I will start with your sister's wedding because you were
5:25
Speaker 1: you were made like you were, You and your sisters
5:28
Speaker 1: were just the maids of honor.
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Speaker 4: Right, Yes, that's what I did for my wedding too.
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Speaker 4: We just like it's easier then you don't have a
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Speaker 4: bridal party and you just have your sisters, sos Me
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Speaker 4: and Sophie.
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Speaker 1: Okay, so Becca is gonna is the same role.
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Speaker 3: In my wedding.
5:44
Speaker 1: And I saw I saw you post something about your
5:47
Speaker 1: speech at Olivia's wedding, and I wanted to I wanted
5:51
Speaker 1: you to share the story. Is maybe a warning or
5:53
Speaker 1: maybe give Becca?
5:55
Speaker 3: Yeah some tips? Some tips?
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Speaker 4: Yeah? No, but I know that Becca will not do
6:01
Speaker 4: what I did, which was like I really overshot my
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Speaker 4: ability to wing it. And I I mean, honestly, there
6:09
Speaker 4: was a lot going on during that month where I
6:13
Speaker 4: could come up with so many excuses, but started dating
6:17
Speaker 4: somebody and I was in Rhode Island. I was with
6:20
Speaker 4: my kids, and you know, you're just like, I'm gonna
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Speaker 4: write speech tomorro'm and then you're just like, you know what,
6:24
Speaker 4: I don't want to. I think I got really confident
6:26
Speaker 4: and I was like, it's gonna be better if it's
6:28
Speaker 4: off the cuff. What ended up happening was Christian's brother
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Speaker 4: was the what do they call it? Best man, and
6:35
Speaker 4: of course his speech was like it was like a
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Speaker 4: professionally written speech, and then ours came right after it,
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Speaker 4: and so Sophie went and hers was like very generic,
6:47
Speaker 4: like oh, I have such big shoes to fill.
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Speaker 2: You're such a good big sister, you know, like not
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Speaker 2: remarkable or anything. And the speech ended up being just
6:59
Speaker 2: it was my ADHD was on fire and I was
7:02
Speaker 2: in all different directions and I thought it was going
7:05
Speaker 2: to come together, and then it didn't come together, and
7:08
Speaker 2: I made a joke about her.
7:09
Speaker 4: Having ugly duckling syndrome. Was was supposed to be really nice.
7:13
Speaker 2: This is interesting because I also I didn't wing it.
7:17
Speaker 2: At Ali's wedding, my other friend who I was her
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Speaker 2: maid of honor, I didn't I wouldn't say I wing
7:24
Speaker 2: I winged.
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Speaker 3: It, wong it. I know that was waned waned it,
7:30
Speaker 3: but I had it written down.
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Speaker 2: But when I read, like, if I have to read
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Speaker 2: something and keep track of the line that.
7:36
Speaker 1: I'm reading the sentiment, well no, I get nervous about that.
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Speaker 2: So I'm better if I'm just like more, I have
7:43
Speaker 2: freedom to wing it.
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Speaker 3: But I too felt.
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Speaker 2: Like I went before the best man and it was
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Speaker 2: like sweet, like people, you know, I got some tears
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Speaker 2: and stuff, but the best man gave the most epic
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Speaker 2: speech I.
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Speaker 3: Have ever heard my life.
8:00
Speaker 2: I was like, that felt like it was written by
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Speaker 2: chat chat GBT, like it.
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Speaker 3: Was, oh, that's so perfect? Is that? Though? When I
8:06
Speaker 3: came around, he came around full circle.
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Speaker 2: It was stunning, and I was like, thank god I
8:13
Speaker 2: went before him.
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Speaker 4: Seriously, yeah, I mean it. I think that also made
8:18
Speaker 4: me nervous that I had to follow his and yeah
8:22
Speaker 4: it was just his was like so and he was
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Speaker 4: practicing for people the whole weekend leading up, and I
8:27
Speaker 4: was just like, whatever, I don't need to practice.
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Speaker 1: You know What's interesting, though, I do feel like asking
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Speaker 1: people to give a speech at your wedding is like
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Speaker 1: is a lot because I feel like you can't really
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Speaker 1: enjoy yourself until you give it, like you're always thinking
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Speaker 1: about it. And I'm like, I want to minimize the
8:44
Speaker 1: amount of speeches as as much as possible because I
8:47
Speaker 1: don't want to put that on people.
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Speaker 3: I want them just to like have fun. Yeah it
8:50
Speaker 3: is pretty stressful, Yeah it is.
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Speaker 4: That's true. And actually I went to a wedding last year,
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Speaker 4: and some people are terrified of public speaking. Like this guy.
9:00
Speaker 4: It was uncomfortable for everyone in the room to watch
9:02
Speaker 4: him speak because he was like circling like a shark
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Speaker 4: and he could like he was panic, and we were like,
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Speaker 4: this poor guy, who, like, can we just give him
9:10
Speaker 4: like a pass? It was it was the groom's brother,
9:13
Speaker 4: but still I think he should not have been asked.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
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Speaker 1: I'm like, I think I really have to, like I
9:19
Speaker 1: think I have to really trim the list down.
9:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, or you're like, are you comfortable giving a speech? Right,
9:24
Speaker 2: and then let that person make a decision yeah.
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Speaker 1: Because I also do not make them feel bad if
9:28
Speaker 1: they want to say no, yeah.
9:30
Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 4: The thing I think it was really disappointing was that,
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Speaker 4: like I write speeches for other people all the time,
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Speaker 4: and that's the kind of my shtick where like I'm
9:38
Speaker 4: a good writer and people ask me to write stuff
9:40
Speaker 4: for them, and like I think she just I think
9:43
Speaker 4: the they thought it was going to be really good.
9:45
Speaker 4: It just wasn't. But I did end with this poem
9:48
Speaker 4: that was so beautiful, but I think it like still
9:50
Speaker 4: And then when I sat down, my mom was like
9:52
Speaker 4: it was too long. I'm like, okay, and that's like
9:54
Speaker 4: the worst insult because like you're not supposed to make
9:57
Speaker 4: make it feel I don't think there's anything worse than
9:59
Speaker 4: like a two long speech.
10:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's about yourself deep with that.
10:05
Speaker 2: Yeah.
10:06
Speaker 1: So not only was, but it was long, long and.
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Speaker 3: Bad, bad and chaotic.
10:14
Speaker 2: How did you there was so much press around Olivia
10:18
Speaker 2: and Christian's wedding? How did there were so many opinions,
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Speaker 2: which I found shocking. I was like, this is so
10:25
Speaker 2: crazy because in my mind, the Colpo sisters can do
10:29
Speaker 2: no wrong. So I was like, oh, this is crazy.
10:33
Speaker 2: I just never expected it. How did was it just
10:35
Speaker 2: kind of like ignore and move on? Or how was
10:38
Speaker 2: that for you as as a sister?
10:40
Speaker 3: Obviously?
10:42
Speaker 4: Well, I was like in my you know, wallowing in
10:44
Speaker 4: my like in my wedding speech drama because I was
10:48
Speaker 4: like so mad at myself during that that, but Olivia
10:50
Speaker 4: was really upset by the reaction. Olivia Olivia doesn't care
10:56
Speaker 4: about like external opinions, but she really did care about
10:59
Speaker 4: her web and she wanted it to be beautiful. It
11:03
Speaker 4: hurt her feeling. Yeah, people were, like they were because
11:08
Speaker 4: it was not at all what she meant, and like
11:11
Speaker 4: they kind of took her words and twisted it and
11:13
Speaker 4: they basically what she said was that her wedding, she
11:15
Speaker 4: wanted her wedding dress to be very traditional and like
11:19
Speaker 4: not have any sex appeal really, which I think there's
11:22
Speaker 4: this whole like anti selut shaming culture that kind of
11:26
Speaker 4: jumped in and they were like, well, what's wrong with sexy?
11:29
Speaker 4: And she's liked nothing, Like that's not what I meant.
11:31
Speaker 4: But yeah, people were. I think that same weekend too,
11:36
Speaker 4: there was another woman who got married and her dress
11:39
Speaker 4: was very risque. It was who was it? It was
11:42
Speaker 4: like somebody famous' daughter. I don't know, I forget and
11:47
Speaker 4: like so there was a side by side of the
11:49
Speaker 4: two of them.
11:50
Speaker 3: Oh wow, that in my algorithm, I missed that wedding.
11:54
Speaker 4: I know now I'm trying to think it was the redhead,
11:57
Speaker 4: Like she's like, who's the who's the actress that was
12:01
Speaker 4: in Stepmom?
12:03
Speaker 3: Oh, Susan Sarandon.
12:05
Speaker 4: Yeah, Susan Trandon's daughter got married that weekend and she's
12:08
Speaker 4: got these big boobs and she wore a dress that
12:10
Speaker 4: was like like her Like. There was a lot of
12:12
Speaker 4: comments about that, but they were nicer to her a
12:14
Speaker 4: than any whork to Olivia, who had like you know,
12:16
Speaker 4: the crew now showing nothing. So it's just you can't
12:19
Speaker 4: make you can't win.
12:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, you never can't, you really really can.
12:22
Speaker 2: I also think it's like a wedding is so personal
12:26
Speaker 2: and I we were talking about this yesterday because Tanya
12:29
Speaker 2: tried on dresses and we were we were talking about
12:32
Speaker 2: all the wedding like opinions that people have, and we
12:35
Speaker 2: were saying, like, it's such a personal thing, like the
12:37
Speaker 2: dress you choose and what you choose, And it's obviously
12:40
Speaker 2: like when you have something public people, you're opening yourself
12:42
Speaker 2: up to criticism, regardless of where it's coming from or
12:46
Speaker 2: who it's coming from, like when you're a public figure.
12:48
Speaker 3: But it was an interesting.
12:51
Speaker 1: Circus of Yeah, it was very unexpected to me, Like
12:55
Speaker 1: I was just really like shocked by all of it, honestly,
12:58
Speaker 1: because I'm like it was all perfection.
13:02
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, honestly it is. I think there is
13:04
Speaker 4: something too also, just to you kind of have like
13:08
Speaker 4: the post wedding blues because you're you're so long, and
13:14
Speaker 4: the thing is, it's like you want to look the
13:17
Speaker 4: most beautiful you've ever looked on your wedding day. It
13:19
Speaker 4: just like I don't know somebody who's ever like, oh,
13:21
Speaker 4: I looked the best I ever looked at my wedding day.
13:23
Speaker 4: Like I look at my wedding photos and I'm like,
13:26
Speaker 4: oh no, Like the botox was off, the hair was fine.
13:30
Speaker 4: I was in Mexico, but I had like a wavy look,
13:32
Speaker 4: so it just looked like a shaggy dog hair. And
13:34
Speaker 4: it's just I don't know, like it's so so much
13:37
Speaker 4: pressure for one day. I know, I think the bride
13:41
Speaker 4: is off and the one who has the least amount
13:43
Speaker 4: of fun because it's just too much pressure. So don't
13:46
Speaker 4: do any of that.
13:47
Speaker 2: Tanya getting married potentially in Mexico, listening.
13:50
Speaker 4: To really do a wavy look unless you use like
13:54
Speaker 4: a really good product, it's so human, Okay, make sure
14:04
Speaker 4: you get really good hairspray.
14:08
Speaker 3: Just bitten vacin, not knowing the dagger she shooting, like,
14:13
Speaker 3: I'm not going to sleep tonight, thank you so much,
14:17
Speaker 3: passing on her speech trauma.
14:19
Speaker 4: Yours is going to be beautiful. I feel like you've
14:21
Speaker 4: really been planning every detail since you were like out
14:24
Speaker 4: of the womb, So I'm sure it's going to be perfect.
14:28
Speaker 1: So it's funny you say that because she has I haven't,
14:31
Speaker 1: and so I think that's the problem. Is like, yeah, no,
14:34
Speaker 1: I was always so fixated on like the person that
14:36
Speaker 1: I was going to marry, not like the wedding and
14:38
Speaker 1: what it would look like, and so it's like I
14:40
Speaker 1: finally got him, and now I'm like, what do I
14:43
Speaker 1: do now?
14:45
Speaker 4: Yeah? Well, I mean I just I feel like it's
14:48
Speaker 4: just too much pressure to think that everything is going
14:50
Speaker 4: to be perfect. You just, I think more than anything,
14:52
Speaker 4: you need to set it up so that you feel
14:55
Speaker 4: the most comfortable. So however, you usually like feel comfortable
14:58
Speaker 4: wearing your hair, like try anything new, right, right?
15:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I think you're so right. I think that
15:04
Speaker 1: there is this like crazy pressure. Everybody says like the
15:06
Speaker 1: biggest day of your life and like all this stuff,
15:08
Speaker 1: and I'm like I'm trying to have the opposite conversation
15:11
Speaker 1: with myself where I'm just like the biggest decision of
15:14
Speaker 1: my life was to decide that he is my life partner.
15:17
Speaker 1: But like the wedding is just a celebration of that,
15:19
Speaker 1: and it's just like I'm trying to treat it like
15:21
Speaker 1: another party, you know what I mean, like a party
15:24
Speaker 1: celebration of our love, so that I'm not like so
15:27
Speaker 1: hyper fixated on everything, because I think that's going to
15:29
Speaker 1: like make me a little yeah, yeah, me.
15:33
Speaker 3: Too much, too much for your Yeah.
15:35
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was something kind of cool about the no
15:37
Speaker 4: phone rule at Olivia's wedding too, because you kind of
15:40
Speaker 4: have like version control of the content too.
15:59
Speaker 3: Would you ever get married again?
16:01
Speaker 4: Yes, I definitely want to. I'm really not worried about
16:05
Speaker 4: like am I gonna find somebody? Am I gonna be
16:07
Speaker 4: able to? I think what I'm experiencing a lot of
16:11
Speaker 4: that I wasn't expecting was like people being like, oh,
16:13
Speaker 4: kind of pitying. I feel like I've been meeting some
16:16
Speaker 4: really cool people some really not cool people too, Like
16:19
Speaker 4: you know, there's like there's there's just so many offs.
16:22
Speaker 4: There really are a lot of efficiency.
16:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I think.
16:25
Speaker 4: Most importantly, like me fine tuning what it is that
16:28
Speaker 4: I want more than anything in the dating life. I've
16:31
Speaker 4: just been learning that there's that maybe I didn't really
16:35
Speaker 4: know what I wanted, you know, That's that's what that's
16:39
Speaker 4: the biggest work, like what what do I want? And
16:43
Speaker 4: being and like not being afraid to say no, Like
16:45
Speaker 4: that's not it for me.
16:47
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like you dated someone that was in
16:49
Speaker 1: the public eye that we saw a lot.
16:52
Speaker 3: I feel like that. Yeah, I didn't know.
16:55
Speaker 1: Oh you didn't know that he was in the public eye.
16:58
Speaker 4: No, I had no, I did not know that. Well,
17:00
Speaker 4: so he's not famous, but his friend right is quite famous, Yeah,
17:09
Speaker 4: so or his ex fiance. So I didn't realize that
17:13
Speaker 4: by association he was of interest to the press, which
17:19
Speaker 4: was something I never would have like ever dreamed of,
17:24
Speaker 4: because he like and it all happened right around Olivia's
17:28
Speaker 4: wedding when there was tons of proparazzi around, so they
17:31
Speaker 4: were seeing him and me and they were getting photos
17:34
Speaker 4: of him and us together, and he was like kind
17:37
Speaker 4: of suspicious that somebody was setting it up. It was
17:40
Speaker 4: the whole thing was.
17:44
Speaker 1: Twilight because of that situation. Do you feel like you
17:47
Speaker 1: would rather date somebody that's like not in the public
17:49
Speaker 1: eye whatsoever, or just like whoever it is it is.
17:55
Speaker 4: No, I don't care for me. I didn't mind. I
17:58
Speaker 4: didn't mind the press. If anything, I helped my podcast
18:00
Speaker 4: a little bit. I don't care about it. Doesn't like
18:04
Speaker 4: I think, I don't have like a very inflated sense
18:06
Speaker 4: of self. Like I understand I'm like a F minus
18:10
Speaker 4: list celebrity, Like a little extra press is gonna help
18:13
Speaker 4: help my podcast. If I date somebody who's who's famous,
18:17
Speaker 4: that's great, but like m it's not gonna affect the
18:20
Speaker 4: way I feel about them. And I also am not
18:25
Speaker 4: going to feel any big way about being in the press.
18:29
Speaker 4: I mean, like the headlines were ridiculous, that none of
18:32
Speaker 4: the stuff you read is true about like maybe fifty
18:35
Speaker 4: percent of this stuff is true, but it's so salacious
18:38
Speaker 4: that if anything, it's just more like kind of funny, like,
18:41
Speaker 4: oh wow, what did they come up with now? Because
18:43
Speaker 4: this was like not accurate?
18:46
Speaker 1: That is so funny because I was reading, I literally
18:48
Speaker 1: was reading all this stuff and I was like wow,
18:50
Speaker 1: Like I was like taken aback by all of it.
18:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, No, I mean it's true. Olivia was like, you
18:57
Speaker 4: can't bring your new boyfriend to the wedding. I've never
19:00
Speaker 4: met him before, and they ran with that and he
19:04
Speaker 4: got so offended, not offended, didn't invite him, offended that
19:09
Speaker 4: he was painted as this not invited person. And I
19:13
Speaker 4: was like, can you ghet over yourself? Like a hot second,
19:17
Speaker 4: you really learn about somebody by like the way that
19:19
Speaker 4: they like people's egos are so fragile.
19:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, I had respected that decision.
19:26
Speaker 3: Honestly.
19:26
Speaker 1: I was like, it's a very normal like you're not
19:29
Speaker 1: coming to my wedding.
19:30
Speaker 3: That's a very normal decision, right, right, right.
19:33
Speaker 4: That's what I didn't get about. I think maybe with him,
19:36
Speaker 4: he was just a little scared from like being dragged
19:40
Speaker 4: through the press in his previous relationship, and so he
19:44
Speaker 4: was like, how am I here again? And I was like,
19:46
Speaker 4: I don't know.
19:49
Speaker 1: But it's so funny because as I was reading all
19:51
Speaker 1: this stuff about your situation, I put it into perspective
19:54
Speaker 1: of like mine, and I was like, if one of
19:55
Speaker 1: my bridesmaids I have, like you know, one that's like whatever, Like,
19:59
Speaker 1: let's say we're came to me and she sorted dating
20:01
Speaker 1: somebody knew that I hadn't met.
20:02
Speaker 3: She wanted to bring him to my wedding.
20:04
Speaker 1: I was like, that's like somebody that's so close to you,
20:07
Speaker 1: one of my very best friends.
20:08
Speaker 3: Like, I feel like I would say yes, Yeah, I mean,
20:12
Speaker 3: I don't know. I feel like you can be self.
20:13
Speaker 2: I also think when it's your sister, there's a different dynamics.
20:20
Speaker 4: She knew, like if I had really pressed her about
20:24
Speaker 4: it and I was like, I'm in love with this person,
20:27
Speaker 4: I really want him to be here, she would have
20:30
Speaker 4: seen it. I didn't. It was kind of like a
20:33
Speaker 4: joke because he really was new. I didn't really want
20:36
Speaker 4: him to come because he didn't really want to come
20:38
Speaker 4: because it was like a very public wedding and I
20:43
Speaker 4: was really going to be really busy there. He's kind
20:45
Speaker 4: of a shy person. It just wasn't Yeah, nobody wanted.
20:49
Speaker 4: Nobody wanted him to be there, including him. So that
20:52
Speaker 4: was kind of the funny thing.
20:53
Speaker 3: About the whole thing. So are you single right now? Oh?
21:01
Speaker 4: I am, but I'm dating. I like, I'm I'm dating
21:04
Speaker 4: and it is the wild West out there. But I
21:07
Speaker 4: met somebody who's actually so nice, so sweet, and I
21:12
Speaker 4: don't know, we'll see. He has a kid. Oh, how
21:17
Speaker 4: did you meet them and I met him, well, I
21:20
Speaker 4: met him on Riah. Actually he like direct requested me. Yeah,
21:28
Speaker 4: I guess it's a feature, but yeah, I don't know.
21:34
Speaker 4: In interesting guys, same like once I should not be
21:41
Speaker 4: on there because they're like fully married in a relationship
21:44
Speaker 4: with yeah people, I don't know. That happened one time,
21:47
Speaker 4: and I'm I think I am scarred. That's what I'm realizing.
21:51
Speaker 4: Like the micro traumas and traumas like such a buzzword,
21:55
Speaker 4: but it's hard not to It's hard to like remain
21:58
Speaker 4: open date after date after date because you're just kind
22:01
Speaker 4: of burned out. Yeah, that's how I felt like recently,
22:05
Speaker 4: where I'm just like I was on a third date
22:07
Speaker 4: with a guy and he kind of wanted to physically
22:11
Speaker 4: take you to the next level. And I'm just like,
22:12
Speaker 4: if I have sex with every third date, like I'm
22:15
Speaker 4: gonna be I'm gonna have herpes. But in like a
22:17
Speaker 4: few months, you know, it's just I don't know, it's
22:20
Speaker 4: hard to like put the brakes on with people without
22:25
Speaker 4: that without making them feel rejected.
22:27
Speaker 2: Right, It's like setting a healthy, very normal boundary, but
22:31
Speaker 2: there's also this expectation and I also feel like at
22:34
Speaker 2: our age, like and like you're it's like these men
22:38
Speaker 2: expect like, oh, you're on our third date.
22:40
Speaker 3: I've bought you dinner three times.
22:42
Speaker 1: Like there is like yeah, it's so weird and like
22:48
Speaker 1: I've had like it's actually kind of like sad to say,
22:51
Speaker 1: but I feel like I've done some things physically that
22:53
Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily want to do, but I feel like
22:55
Speaker 1: I needed to do them, which is like actually such
22:57
Speaker 1: a like that step.
22:59
Speaker 4: In the other day, Yeah, totally, I I got in
23:07
Speaker 4: it over you. I've totally like I totally have had
23:10
Speaker 4: sex just to like appease somebody to like so then
23:14
Speaker 4: so that I didn't have to deal with what I
23:15
Speaker 4: deal with the other night, which was the whole, like,
23:19
Speaker 4: which is the whole my daughter she doesn't know what
23:21
Speaker 4: that means yet, which was the whole, Like you know,
23:24
Speaker 4: is there not a connection? Are you putting me in
23:25
Speaker 4: the friend zone? And that's what he said, and I
23:28
Speaker 4: was like, I'm not putting you in the friend zone
23:30
Speaker 4: just because like I'm not. I don't know.
23:32
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I know what it was.
23:34
Speaker 4: But do you guys think that that actually makes them
23:36
Speaker 4: want you more?
23:37
Speaker 2: Yes?
23:37
Speaker 4: When you when you make wait, yes, I don't know, Okay,
23:42
Speaker 4: that's good. I'm happy about that.
23:44
Speaker 1: I have like a very When I was dating, I
23:46
Speaker 1: hit a point where I was like, I'm no longer
23:49
Speaker 1: uh giving myself fully physically to anybody until they are
23:53
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. And I remember I would tell all of
23:56
Speaker 1: the guys I was dating this, and like their response
23:58
Speaker 1: to it was very telling, like the ones that stayed
24:02
Speaker 1: versus the ones that never called me again.
24:04
Speaker 4: I get that a lot when I'm not drinking, because like,
24:07
Speaker 4: I do drink sometimes, but most of the time I don't.
24:10
Speaker 4: And I think for first dates, men feel uncomfortable if
24:15
Speaker 4: I'm not having a drink. And there was one guy
24:17
Speaker 4: who was like, like, would not let it go. And
24:20
Speaker 4: he was like, well, are you an alcoholic? I'm like no,
24:22
Speaker 4: I just like don't want to drink because it like
24:25
Speaker 4: doesn't make me feel good, and and and and then
24:28
Speaker 4: he was like and then he like ordered me a
24:29
Speaker 4: drink with alcohol in it. Anyway, I don't know that
24:31
Speaker 4: guy was done. But I have a rule too, So
24:35
Speaker 4: it's like five dates commitment or three months, and like
24:39
Speaker 4: this is the rule that I like loosely am supposed
24:41
Speaker 4: to supposed to follow because I have a friend of
24:43
Speaker 4: mine who's a dating coach? And when I tell this
24:46
Speaker 4: to guys, they're like, who is this if. The most
24:49
Speaker 4: recent response was this guy being like, does your dating
24:53
Speaker 4: coach belong to the Church of the Latter Day of
24:55
Speaker 4: the Saints or something?
24:56
Speaker 3: I don't know, Like it was.
24:57
Speaker 4: Just so weird. I was like, no, it's just a
24:59
Speaker 4: normal I.
25:00
Speaker 2: Don't know, you know, I had I really felt like
25:04
Speaker 2: I had the attention of men because I was just
25:07
Speaker 2: never interested. But I literally think it's it's because I
25:11
Speaker 2: wanted to date a woman.
25:12
Speaker 4: Right like.
25:14
Speaker 1: Becca, men would flock to Becca.
25:16
Speaker 2: I just was like, so you were so a loose
25:19
Speaker 2: aloof and just like uninterested that I wasn't trying to be.
25:24
Speaker 2: It was just I was like, why do you Why
25:26
Speaker 2: are you so desperate? Like the more desperate you are,
25:29
Speaker 2: the less I'm interested.
25:32
Speaker 4: It is true that, like the morning after I rejected
25:35
Speaker 4: that advance too, he like sends me this like mirror
25:38
Speaker 4: selfie and I'm like, this feels like a cry for
25:41
Speaker 4: attention kind of you.
25:44
Speaker 2: Know, Ah, no she rejected me, yet, let me show
25:52
Speaker 2: her what she missed out on.
25:56
Speaker 3: Sick.
25:58
Speaker 1: Have any of the guys that you have dated, like
26:00
Speaker 1: listen to your podcast?
26:03
Speaker 4: Yes, and that's one of the questions that I get
26:05
Speaker 4: a lot too, is like, oh, when am I going
26:07
Speaker 4: to make it on the podcast, or like are you
26:08
Speaker 4: going to talk about this on your podcast? And that's
26:11
Speaker 4: a little I think I did learn a lesson with
26:13
Speaker 4: the last guy, the one who's dating the famous person.
26:17
Speaker 4: He ended up not being happy that I had talked
26:20
Speaker 4: about him because while he was anonymous, later he came
26:24
Speaker 4: out right not so then people like could backtrack it
26:28
Speaker 4: hear all the things that I said, which were all
26:30
Speaker 4: nice things, they were just like, oh he came although
26:34
Speaker 4: I did say he has two kids and they're like
26:35
Speaker 4: in high school, and he got really weirded out by that.
26:39
Speaker 4: I guess it's not my job to decide like how
26:43
Speaker 4: comfortable people should be with being out a public force.
26:45
Speaker 4: Just because I am doesn't mean everybody is, so I think,
26:48
Speaker 4: rather than find that out the hard way, I just like,
26:51
Speaker 4: don't talk about the guys as much on my podcast.
26:56
Speaker 4: I still mention things, usually in retrospect. If I'm not
26:59
Speaker 4: dating them anymore, but I'm currently you probably aren't going
27:02
Speaker 4: to hear a lot about them, especially if their situations
27:06
Speaker 4: are kind of delicate. You know, I'm dating guys who
27:10
Speaker 4: are like widowed some of them some of that like divorce,
27:15
Speaker 4: there's there's with kids. It's not like just that one
27:20
Speaker 4: person that I have to be sensitive to, right.
27:38
Speaker 2: It's also like you can go on a date with
27:39
Speaker 2: someone and if I'm imagining you go on a lot
27:42
Speaker 2: of dates where you immediately are like, this is.
27:44
Speaker 3: Not the guy.
27:45
Speaker 2: And that's the podcast content because you're like, but what do.
27:50
Speaker 4: You guys think about that? I like how I'm like
27:52
Speaker 4: totally just interviewing you guys, But do you think that
27:56
Speaker 4: do you think the attraction can grow? Because I do
27:58
Speaker 4: feel like one time I went on to with somebody
28:00
Speaker 4: that I'm currently on like number three or four day with,
28:03
Speaker 4: Like the first time we went on a date, I
28:04
Speaker 4: was like, oh I just couldn't get over the outfit.
28:07
Speaker 4: I hated it so much.
28:09
Speaker 3: Like no, see, I disagree. I disagree.
28:12
Speaker 2: There's because like if if someone like you, if you
28:17
Speaker 2: help him, and because he might just have never had
28:19
Speaker 2: someone who has style and knows how to dress well,
28:22
Speaker 2: so like it takes one person to make him feel
28:24
Speaker 2: good about himself and then his whole confidence change and
28:27
Speaker 2: he's in a que outfit and you're like, oh, maybe
28:30
Speaker 2: there's something.
28:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if it's only the.
28:33
Speaker 1: Outfit, I know, I feel like the face you made
28:36
Speaker 1: made it seem like it you got like a little
28:38
Speaker 1: bit of an ick.
28:39
Speaker 4: She's definitely the I did get the from the outfit
28:42
Speaker 4: because it was and I don't think it was like
28:44
Speaker 4: a lack of style. I think it was like that
28:46
Speaker 4: was his personal style.
28:48
Speaker 3: Can you describe the alpho? We get a description of
28:51
Speaker 3: the outfit.
28:52
Speaker 4: Now I feel like he might know what I'm talking,
28:54
Speaker 4: like he hopefully he won't be listening to this. It
28:56
Speaker 4: was very like like HIGI high wasted jeans with a
29:01
Speaker 4: belt for man?
29:04
Speaker 3: How high?
29:05
Speaker 1: Like belly button too high?
29:09
Speaker 3: It was just too high for comfort for you.
29:12
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
29:15
Speaker 3: That sounds not good to me. I don't know.
29:17
Speaker 4: And like his heels clicked. His shoes clicked.
29:20
Speaker 3: Heel heels You said heels.
29:24
Speaker 4: I said, he had like a hard sol shoe on
29:26
Speaker 4: and they kept clicking, and I was like, like clocks.
29:31
Speaker 4: We were it over like loafers. They were loafers, but
29:33
Speaker 4: they were like too clicky. I don't know.
29:37
Speaker 2: It's like me romping around Tanya, I just found not
29:40
Speaker 2: won't walk around barefoot in a house. So she forgot
29:43
Speaker 2: slippers and socks, so she's been wearing her heels around
29:46
Speaker 2: this Airbnb.
29:50
Speaker 4: I feel you about the barefoot. I don't love that either,
29:52
Speaker 4: but I wouldn't go so far.
29:54
Speaker 2: So I've been hearing her click around, the clacking all
29:58
Speaker 2: more than long.
29:59
Speaker 3: I understand high pants and loafer quick. I don't know.
30:01
Speaker 1: I just feel like, if you're gonna be with this
30:03
Speaker 1: person for the rest of your life, like that immediate
30:06
Speaker 1: attraction and that immediate chemistry I think is like I
30:11
Speaker 1: don't know, I.
30:13
Speaker 2: Agree, I agree, but I do think there are stories
30:17
Speaker 2: where people have had a.
30:19
Speaker 3: First growers not showers exactly.
30:21
Speaker 2: Yeahh like where they've met and they were there wasn't
30:24
Speaker 2: an instant connection, but they knew that they were like
30:26
Speaker 2: a good person, and so they went on a second
30:29
Speaker 2: date and continued and realized like when they didn't hear
30:31
Speaker 2: from them, they realized they missed them, you know, but
30:33
Speaker 2: they couldn't pinpoint it. I don't know, I never It's
30:36
Speaker 2: my experience is so I don't have a lot of
30:40
Speaker 2: dating experience because I, like I said, I went on
30:43
Speaker 2: The Bachelor, I dated man, but I'd go on a
30:45
Speaker 2: few dates and then I was like, oh, it'd be
30:48
Speaker 2: it'd be like his nails were too long, and I'd like, yeah,
30:51
Speaker 2: like I had, I had an ick for everything.
30:53
Speaker 3: And then I met Helen and it was like she
30:55
Speaker 3: can do no wrong.
30:56
Speaker 2: She could do no like there's no eggs. Yeah, so
31:00
Speaker 2: oh yeah, I don't know.
31:02
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I'm going to try to be open
31:04
Speaker 4: because you know, and in the past, I feel like
31:07
Speaker 4: I've chosen the guy who, like you, want to jump
31:09
Speaker 4: their bones right away, and that's not the long term
31:12
Speaker 4: person for you. A lot of times, Yeah, I don't know.
31:16
Speaker 1: It was for me it was yeah, Like I remember
31:20
Speaker 1: the first time I saw Robbie, I literally was like whoa,
31:23
Speaker 1: Like Vagina was like on fire.
31:28
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it was crazy.
31:31
Speaker 4: It's really hot though, So you lucked out. That's like
31:35
Speaker 4: an objective fact.
31:38
Speaker 3: Wow, thank you so much. I appreciate that. I appreciate that.
31:42
Speaker 2: Okay, last night we were talking about this. We were talking
31:44
Speaker 2: about how all of y'all play instruments? Do you play
31:47
Speaker 2: an instrument?
31:48
Speaker 4: I played a piano a little bit, saying.
31:50
Speaker 2: Oh, oh that's right, her voice is her instruments.
31:56
Speaker 3: Was like, I've seen them all.
31:57
Speaker 2: We were talking about how her dad was saying he
32:00
Speaker 2: that he had pushed his kids to play an instrument, and.
32:03
Speaker 1: I was like, I like the colbos. Yeah we all
32:05
Speaker 1: play something.
32:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, wow, yeah we all we all have played everything.
32:10
Speaker 4: Sophie used to play the basoon, so Olivia would carry
32:13
Speaker 4: her like cello to school, so if we would have
32:15
Speaker 4: her big instrument, I played the piano, but yeah, I
32:17
Speaker 4: didn't really stick with it.
32:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.
32:19
Speaker 2: I played the saxophone for a minute. So if y'all
32:21
Speaker 2: ever need a sax player to come in, let me know.
32:26
Speaker 3: It was short lived.
32:27
Speaker 2: It was a fifth grade, fifth grade moment. But we
32:31
Speaker 2: appreciate you coming on the podcast so much. Thanks for
32:34
Speaker 2: taking time.
32:34
Speaker 3: I'm not done with her yet. I'm sorry. Okay, I
32:36
Speaker 3: just had one more.
32:37
Speaker 1: Question, because you do have your podcast. Where do you
32:40
Speaker 1: see your podcast in the next Do you have seasons?
32:44
Speaker 4: So kind of like just it's like a fifty two episode,
32:48
Speaker 4: so every every week we I have an episode, and
32:51
Speaker 4: so I guess every year is a season. So I
32:53
Speaker 4: met season two.
32:54
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you see for the next couple of
32:56
Speaker 1: seasons for Barely Filtered?
32:59
Speaker 4: Oh man, this is such a good question because I'm
33:01
Speaker 4: kind of grappling with this. People love to hear the
33:03
Speaker 4: dating stuff. I like to talk about that, but I
33:06
Speaker 4: really love to interview people who are like optimizing their
33:09
Speaker 4: health and in the kind of like biohacking space. And
33:14
Speaker 4: I love that about longevity and I love that. It's
33:18
Speaker 4: just like, does my audience love it as much as
33:21
Speaker 4: I do? This is what I'm trying to kind of
33:22
Speaker 4: figure out. So a little bit of everything, but I
33:24
Speaker 4: think more in the health space and and of course
33:29
Speaker 4: like social wellness, dating and how to I don't know,
33:33
Speaker 4: be your best be your best partner. I think as
33:36
Speaker 4: I evolved in my relationships, hopefully I'll be in a
33:38
Speaker 4: relationship then and they'll be open to me talking about
33:41
Speaker 4: it a little bit.
33:44
Speaker 2: I think people when it comes to like podcast podcasting,
33:49
Speaker 2: I think people love you. So I think whatever you're
33:51
Speaker 2: interested in translates to your audience. So even if your
33:55
Speaker 2: audience who loves like your dating stories, you know, which
33:59
Speaker 2: you're always your going to talk about that and you know,
34:02
Speaker 2: at your discretion, but I think, uh, you'll find a
34:05
Speaker 2: new audience who loves listening to you and the things
34:08
Speaker 2: that you love, because that's what translates for people, you know,
34:11
Speaker 2: like what.
34:11
Speaker 3: You're passionate about. Sweet Yeah, No, I think it's.
34:14
Speaker 4: Just believing that. It's like hard for me to wrap
34:16
Speaker 4: my head around. But I appreciate that.
34:18
Speaker 2: Yeah.
34:19
Speaker 3: I know.
34:19
Speaker 1: It's a fine line though, because like if you like,
34:22
Speaker 1: let's say, you have to start a podcast, everbody falls
34:24
Speaker 1: in love with like you and and what you're talking about,
34:27
Speaker 1: and you make it a hard pivot and you're like,
34:28
Speaker 1: I'm going to turn it into a true crime prop podcast.
34:31
Speaker 3: But I think there's a world.
34:33
Speaker 2: I think hers can blame longevity of all this and dating.
34:38
Speaker 1: I love biohacking. I could talk about that stuff for days.
34:41
Speaker 2: I know you and I.
34:45
Speaker 3: That's yeah, she's never referenced a b Yeah.
34:49
Speaker 1: Sorry, I referenced cycle sinking or whatever.
34:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Anya, and my d ms are like, what
34:56
Speaker 4: day of your cycle?
34:58
Speaker 3: What are you eating?
35:00
Speaker 4: How are you eating it?
35:01
Speaker 3: What are you working out?
35:02
Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm glad that she has you for that because
35:04
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't care.
35:06
Speaker 3: So yeah, Ing and Yang here? Yeah and Yang. I
35:11
Speaker 3: think it's Yin and Yang? What is it? Yin Yin?
35:14
Speaker 3: Oh wow, I've been saying it wrong for thirty seven years.
35:17
Speaker 3: Yin and Yang. Yeah, I think you are.
35:23
Speaker 1: I know you have a busy day. We really appreciate
35:25
Speaker 1: you taking the time.
35:26
Speaker 4: I love fun and pomp. Spring must be hot there right?
35:29
Speaker 3: It is hot. Yeah, it's pretty hot. But I love
35:31
Speaker 3: having you on.
35:32
Speaker 1: I find you wildly entertaining, So thank you for coming on.
35:38
Speaker 1: And everybody check out Aurora's podcast. It's called Barely Filtered.
35:41
Speaker 1: You can get it wherever you get your podcasts.
35:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, thanks so much, guys. I love talking to both
35:47
Speaker 4: of you. You're the best.
35:48
Speaker 3: Thanks Aurora, have a good weekend.
35:50
Speaker 4: Bye.