Latest / Pst T.D Jakes -The POTTER'S HOUSE / WHEN GOD REMOVES SOMEONE FROM YOUR LIFE, THERE’S A REASON TD JAKES

Transcript

WHEN GOD REMOVES SOMEONE FROM YOUR LIFE, THERE’S A REASON TD JAKES · Pst T.D Jakes -The POTTER'S HOUSE

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Speaker 1: There are moments in life when you have to learn
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Speaker 1: the difference between losing something and being delivered from something.
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Speaker 1: There is a kind of departure that breaks your heart
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Speaker 1: because you love deeply, trusted sincerely, and believed that person
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Speaker 1: would always be there. You prayed for the relationship to remain.
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Speaker 1: You tried to understand what went wrong. You replayed conversations
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Speaker 1: in your mind wondering what you could have done differently,
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Speaker 1: what you should have said, or what you should have changed.
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Speaker 1: You looked at the empty space they left behind and
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Speaker 1: called it a loss. But sometimes what you call a
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Speaker 1: loss is actually God's protection operating in a way you
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Speaker 1: do not yet understand. You have to understand that God
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Speaker 1: sees beyond the moment. You see the conversation, but God
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Speaker 1: sees the consequence. You see the person smile, but God
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Speaker 1: sees the intentions you cannot read. You see the memories
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Speaker 1: you built together, but God sees the road ahead and
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Speaker 1: knows whether that person belongs on that road. You see
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Speaker 1: what they meant to you yesterday, but God sees what
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Speaker 1: their presence could mean for you tomorrow. And sometimes God
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Speaker 1: has to remove somebody before you have enough clarity to
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Speaker 1: understand why they had to go. That is why you
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Speaker 1: cannot judge God's protection by how painful it feels. Protection
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Speaker 1: does not always feel comfortable. Sometimes protection feels like heartbreak.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes protection feels like loneliness. Sometimes protection looks like a
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Speaker 1: friendship suddenly changing, a relationship ending, an opportunity disappearing, or
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Speaker 1: somebody you trusted walking away without giving you the explanation
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Speaker 1: you wanted. You may cry because you wanted them to
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Speaker 1: stay while God is allowing them to leave because he
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Speaker 1: knows something you do not know. You wanted an explanation,
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Speaker 1: but God gave you separation. You wanted another conversation, but
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Speaker 1: God gave you silence. You wanted closure from the person,
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Speaker 1: but God began teaching you how to find peace without
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Speaker 1: their explanation. And that is difficult because human beings naturally
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Speaker 1: want to understand everything before they accept it. We want
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Speaker 1: every question answered. We want to know who was right,
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Speaker 1: who was wrong, why they changed, why they left, why
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Speaker 1: they stopped caring, why the relationship could not survive. But
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Speaker 1: faith sometimes means accepting that you may never receive every
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Speaker 1: answer and still trusting the one who knows every answer.
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Speaker 1: There are people you would have held onto forever if
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Speaker 1: God had allowed you to make the decision. You would
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Speaker 1: have kept forgiving the same behavior You would have kept
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Speaker 1: making excuses. You would have kept calling because you remembered
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Speaker 1: the good moments. You would have kept hoping they would
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Speaker 1: become the person you needed them to be. You would
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Speaker 1: have tolerated things that slowly drained your peace. because you
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Speaker 1: were afraid of what life would look like without them.
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Speaker 1: But sometimes God knows that your attachment to a person
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Speaker 1: has become stronger than your commitment to your purpose. And
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Speaker 1: he has to create distance because you were unwilling to
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Speaker 1: create it yourself. Do not misunderstand this. Not every person
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Speaker 1: who leaves your life was necessarily a bad person. And
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Speaker 1: not every relationship that ends means somebody failed. Sometimes two
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Speaker 1: people can genuinely care about each other and still not
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Speaker 1: be meant to walk into the same future. Sometimes the
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Speaker 1: season changes. Sometimes the assignment changes. Sometimes your growth requires
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Speaker 1: a different environment. Sometimes you are being called into something
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Speaker 1: that requires you to release what was familiar. You can
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Speaker 1: appreciate what someone meant to you without demanding that they
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Speaker 1: remain in your life forever. There are seasons when God
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Speaker 1: removes people because their presence has become a distraction from
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Speaker 1: your development. You were spending too much energy trying to
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Speaker 1: keep the relationship alive and not enough energy building the
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Speaker 1: life God placed inside you. You were constantly explaining yourself,
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Speaker 1: defending yourself, seeking approval, chasing attention, or trying to prove
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Speaker 1: that you were worthy of being loved. Meanwhile, the very
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Speaker 1: thing you were chasing was keeping you from discovering that
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Speaker 1: your identity does not depend on another person's acceptance. Sometimes
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Speaker 1: God has to separate you from people because you have
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Speaker 1: become addicted to their approval. You cannot hear clearly because
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Speaker 1: you are listening too closely to their opinions. You cannot
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Speaker 1: move forward because you are waiting for their permission. You
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Speaker 1: cannot become who you are supposed to become because you
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Speaker 1: are afraid they will not recognize the new version of you.
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Speaker 1: So God creates distance. He allows the relationship to change.
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Speaker 1: He allows the door to close. He allows the phone
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Speaker 1: to stop ringing. And in that silence, he begins teaching
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Speaker 1: you how to hear him again. The hardest part is
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Speaker 1: that you may not recognize protection while you are experiencing it.
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Speaker 1: A child may cry when a parent takes something dangerous
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Speaker 1: away because the child does not understand the danger. In
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Speaker 1: the same way, you may cry when God takes a
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Speaker 1: person out of your life because you cannot yet see
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Speaker 1: what he is protecting you from. You only know that
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Speaker 1: something familiar is gone.
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Speaker 2: You only know that the chair is empty.
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Speaker 1: You only know that the messages stopped, the conversations changed,
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Speaker 1: and the future you imagine no longer looks the same.
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Speaker 1: But do not build an altar around what God has
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Speaker 1: already removed. Do not worship a memory. Do not turn
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Speaker 1: yesterday into your permanent residence. Do not spend the next
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Speaker 1: five years trying to reopen a door that God closed
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Speaker 1: five years ago. There is a difference between honoring the
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Speaker 1: past and living in the past. You can be grateful
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Speaker 1: for what someone taught you without continuing to chase them.
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Speaker 1: You can remember the good. without returning to what God
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Speaker 1: delivered you from. You can love someone from a distance
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Speaker 1: and still move forward with your life. And when you
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Speaker 1: cannot understand why they left, trust the character of the
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Speaker 1: one who remained. When people leave, God has not left.
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Speaker 1: When relationships change, God has not changed. When your plans collapse,
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Speaker 1: his purpose has not collapsed. When somebody refuses to walk
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Speaker 1: with you into your next season, it does not mean
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Speaker 1: your next season has been canceled. Sometimes their departure is
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Speaker 1: the very thing that makes room for you to discover
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Speaker 1: the strength, courage, discipline, peace, and faith that were buried
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Speaker 1: underneath your dependence on them. There comes a time in
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Speaker 1: your life when you have to stop chasing what God
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Speaker 1: has already released. That may be one of the hardest
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Speaker 1: lessons you will ever learn because your heart does not
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Speaker 1: always agree with what your spirit knows. Your heart remembers
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Speaker 1: the conversations, the laughter, the promises, the good days, the
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Speaker 1: moments when everything seemed perfect. Your heart remembers what the
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Speaker 1: relationship used to be. And because you remember the good,
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Speaker 1: you keep trying to resurrect something that has already ended.
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Speaker 1: You keep reaching for what is no longer reaching back.
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Speaker 1: You keep knocking on a door that no longer opens.
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Speaker 1: You keep asking God to restore something when God may
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Speaker 1: be trying to redirect you towards something greater. Sometimes you
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Speaker 1: are exhausted, not because life is difficult, but because you
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Speaker 1: are fighting to keep something alive that God has allowed
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Speaker 1: to die. You are spending emotional energy trying to convince
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Speaker 1: somebody to value you. You are sending messages that receive
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Speaker 1: no response. You are explaining yourself to someone who has
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Speaker 1: already decided not to understand you. You are apologizing for
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Speaker 1: things you did not do. because you are afraid of
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Speaker 1: losing the relationship. You are compromising your peace because you
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Speaker 1: are terrified of being alone. But there comes a moment
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Speaker 1: when you have to ask yourself whether you are fighting
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Speaker 1: for love or fighting against God's direction. You cannot force
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Speaker 1: somebody to stay where they have decided to leave. You
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Speaker 1: cannot manufacture loyalty. You cannot negotiate genuine love. You cannot
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Speaker 1: convince somebody to see your value if they have chosen
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Speaker 1: to overlook it. And you should never have to destroy
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Speaker 1: your dignity just to maintain someone's presence in your life.
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Speaker 1: There is a point where chasing becomes bondage. There is
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Speaker 1: a point where trying becomes exhausting. There is a point
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Speaker 1: where your repeated efforts are no longer evidence of commitment,
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Speaker 1: but evidence that you are refusing to accept what God
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Speaker 1: has already revealed. Sometimes the greatest act of faith is
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Speaker 1: letting go, not because you do not care, but because
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Speaker 1: you trust God more than you trust your attachment to
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Speaker 1: that person. Letting go does not mean you never loved them.
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Speaker 1: It does not mean the memories were fake it does
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Speaker 1: not mean you suddenly stop caring it means you recognize
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Speaker 1: that you cannot build tomorrow while constantly trying to repair
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Speaker 1: yesterday It means you are willing to surrender your desire
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Speaker 1: for a particular outcome and say, God, if this is
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Speaker 1: no longer for me, give me the strength to release it.
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Speaker 1: You have to understand that closed doors can be just
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Speaker 1: as important as open doors. We celebrate when God opens something,
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Speaker 1: but we rarely celebrate when he closes something that would
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Speaker 1: have harmed us. We call the open door a blessing
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Speaker 1: because it gives us what we want. We call the
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Speaker 1: closed door a disappointment because it takes away what we wanted.
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Speaker 1: But sometimes the closed door is the greater blessing. Sometimes
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Speaker 1: God protects you through denial. Sometimes he protects you through delay.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes he protects you through separation. Sometimes he protects you
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Speaker 1: by allowing someone to walk away before they can walk
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Speaker 1: you into a place you were never supposed to go.
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Speaker 1: Stop interpreting every ending as evidence that you failed. There
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Speaker 1: are endings that are necessary for beginnings. There are relationships
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Speaker 1: that teach you something and then release you. There are
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Speaker 1: people who were assigned to a chapter but were never
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Speaker 1: assigned to the entire book. You cannot keep demanding that
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Speaker 1: somebody remain in chapter 10 simply because they were important
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Speaker 1: in chapter 2. Their purpose in your story may have
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Speaker 1: already been fulfilled. Their presence may have helped you discover
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Speaker 1: something about yourself that taught you a lesson, challenged your character,
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Speaker 1: or prepared you for a future they will never see.
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Speaker 1: And sometimes you have to stop asking, how do I
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Speaker 1: get them back? And start asking, what is God trying
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Speaker 1: to show me? That question changes everything. Instead of obsessing
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Speaker 1: over their absence, you begin examining your own growth. Instead
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Speaker 1: of constantly checking whether they have called, you begin checking
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Speaker 1: the condition of your own heart. Instead of wondering whether
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Speaker 1: they regret leaving, you begin wondering what you can become
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Speaker 1: now that you are no longer carrying the weight of
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Speaker 1: that relationship. There is freedom in accepting what you cannot control.
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Speaker 1: You cannot control another person's heart. You cannot control their choices.
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Speaker 1: You cannot control whether they apologize, whether they return whether
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Speaker 1: they understand you or whether they ever recognize what they lost.
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Speaker 1: But you can control whether you allow their decision to
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Speaker 1: keep you imprisoned. You can decide that their departure will
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Speaker 1: not become the end of your purpose. You can decide
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Speaker 1: that their rejection will not become the definition of your identity.
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Speaker 1: You can decide that you will grieve honestly. heal patiently
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Speaker 1: and continue walking forward do not keep returning to places
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Speaker 1: where you have already received your answer if someone repeatedly
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Speaker 1: shows you that they do not want to be present
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Speaker 1: believe what their actions are communicating if a door continues
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Speaker 1: to close stop breaking your hands trying to force it
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Speaker 1: open if God has removed something do not make desperation
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Speaker 1: your strategy for putting it back You do not have
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Speaker 1: to chase what is meant to remain. What is healthy, aligned,
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Speaker 1: and genuinely connected to your purpose will not require you
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Speaker 1: to constantly abandon yourself just to keep it. There is
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Speaker 1: a difference between persistence and resistance. Persistence is continuing to
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Speaker 1: pursue what God has placed before you. Resistance is refusing
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Speaker 1: to release what God has asked you to surrender. One
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Speaker 1: requires faith. The other often comes from fear. Fear says,
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Speaker 1: if I let them go, I will never find anyone else.
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Speaker 1: Faith says, if God allowed this to leave, he knows
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Speaker 1: what he is doing. Fear says, this was my only opportunity.
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Speaker 1: Faith says, my future is not limited to one person.
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Speaker 1: Fear says, I have to hold on because I cannot
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Speaker 1: imagine life without them. Faith says, I may not know
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Speaker 1: what comes next, but I trust the one who does.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes you have to walk away without getting the apology
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Speaker 1: you deserved. Sometimes you have to move forward without receiving
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Speaker 1: the explanation you wanted. sometimes closure is not a conversation
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Speaker 1: with the person who hurt you sometimes closure is the
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Speaker 1: moment you decide that you will no longer allow the
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Speaker 1: unanswered questions to control your life you may never understand
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Speaker 1: every reason you may never know every detail you may
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Speaker 1: never receive the words you hope to hear but you
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Speaker 1: can still choose peace you can still choose dignity You
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Speaker 1: can still choose purpose. You can still place the unanswered
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Speaker 1: questions in God's hands and stop allowing them to occupy
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Speaker 1: every room of your mind. There are people who are
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Speaker 1: connected to your season, but not your destiny. And learning
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Speaker 1: the difference can save you from years of unnecessary pain.
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Speaker 1: Not everybody who enters your life is supposed to stay
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Speaker 1: until the end.
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Speaker 2: Some people are assigned to a chapter, not the whole book.
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Speaker 1: Some people arrive because you need something they carry, and
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Speaker 1: sometimes they leave because you have learned what you were
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Speaker 1: supposed to learn. The mistake we make is assuming that
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Speaker 1: because someone was important in one season, they must remain
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Speaker 1: important in every season. But life changes. People change, circumstances change,
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Speaker 1: your assignment changes. What once fit your life may no
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Speaker 1: longer fit where God is taking you. You have to
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Speaker 1: stop measuring the value of a relationship by its length.
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Speaker 1: Just because someone did not stay forever does not mean
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Speaker 1: their presence was meaningless.
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Speaker 2: A person can.
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Speaker 1: Enter your life for a short period and still leave
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Speaker 1: an impact that lasts for years. They may have encouraged
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Speaker 1: you when you were discouraged. They may have helped you
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Speaker 1: discover a strength you did not know you had. They
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Speaker 1: may have challenged you to grow. They may have shown
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Speaker 1: you what love looks like. Or perhaps they showed you
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Speaker 1: what love should never look like. They may have been
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Speaker 1: part of the preparation without being part of the destination.
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Speaker 1: Sometimes we become angry when people leave because we believe
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Speaker 1: their departure invalidates everything that happened before, but it does not.
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Speaker 1: A season can be real even when it ends. A
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Speaker 1: connection can be meaningful even when it changes. A relationship
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Speaker 1: can have purpose even when it does not last forever.
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Speaker 1: You do not have to rewrite your entire history because
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Speaker 1: somebody is no longer standing beside you. You can honor
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Speaker 1: what was good without trying to force it to continue.
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Speaker 1: You can appreciate what they contributed without demanding that they
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Speaker 1: accompany you into every room God opens next. There are
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Speaker 1: seasons when God brings people into your life. Because you
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Speaker 1: need confirmation, encouragement, correction, wisdom, or preparation. Sometimes you are
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Speaker 1: weak and somebody helps strengthen you. Sometimes you are confused
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Speaker 1: and somebody helps you see clearly. Sometimes you are afraid
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Speaker 1: and somebody gives you courage. But there comes a point
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Speaker 1: when you cannot keep depending on the person who helped
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Speaker 1: you walk during one season. When God is calling you
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Speaker 1: to run in another, the person who helped you survive
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Speaker 1: one chapter may not have the capacity to understand the
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Speaker 1: next chapter. That does not make them your enemy. It
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Speaker 1: simply means the season has changed. And maturity is being
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Speaker 1: able to recognize a change in season without creating an enemy.
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Speaker 2: Out of somebody who once mattered to you.
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Speaker 1: You do not have to hate people just because you
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Speaker 1: have outgrown the relationship. You do not have to speak
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Speaker 1: badly about them because they are no longer part of
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Speaker 1: your future. You do not have to destroy their reputation
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Speaker 1: because the relationship ended. Sometimes the most powerful response is
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Speaker 1: to bless what was, release what is no longer, and
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Speaker 1: continue walking toward what God has placed ahead of you.
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Speaker 1: You must also understand that growth changes your relationships. When
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Speaker 1: your priorities change, some connections will become uncomfortable. When your
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Speaker 1: standards rise, some conversations will no longer satisfy you. When
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Speaker 1: your focus becomes stronger, certain distractions will become easier to recognize.
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Speaker 1: When your relationship with God deepens... You may begin to
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Speaker 1: notice that some environments no longer give your spirit peace.
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Speaker 1: This does not always mean that everyone around you is bad.
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Speaker 1: It may simply mean that you are being transformed and
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Speaker 1: transformation can create separation. The old version of you may
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Speaker 1: have been comfortable with things that the new version of
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Speaker 1: you cannot tolerate. The old you may have chased approval.
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Speaker 1: The new you may value peace. The old you may
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Speaker 1: have accepted death. to understand your decisions. Do not be
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Speaker 1: surprised when some people do not recognize the person you
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Speaker 1: are becoming. They knew you according to an old version
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Speaker 1: of yourself. They knew your weaknesses, your insecurities, your habits,
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Speaker 1: your fears, and your limitations. When you begin to grow
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Speaker 1: beyond those things, they may not know how to relate
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Speaker 1: to you anymore. Sometimes people are comfortable with the version
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Speaker 1: of you that required their approval, their attention, or their influence.
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Speaker 1: When you become secure enough to stand without that approval,
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Speaker 1: the relationship can change. This is why you cannot make
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Speaker 1: everybody understand your journey. Your assignment was not given to everybody.
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Speaker 1: Your vision was not given to everybody. Your future was
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Speaker 1: not revealed to everybody. Some people will question your decisions
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Speaker 1: because they cannot see what you see. Some will tell
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Speaker 1: you that you are changing because you no longer behave
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Speaker 1: the way you used to. But change is not always
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Speaker 1: a betrayal. Sometimes change is evidence that you are finally
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Speaker 1: becoming who you were created to become. There are also
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Speaker 1: people who leave because they cannot go where you are going.
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Speaker 1: You may spend months trying to convince them to understand
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Speaker 1: your vision, support your growth, or respect your boundaries. But
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Speaker 1: you cannot drag somebody into a future they were never
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Speaker 1: assigned to enter.
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Speaker 2: You cannot force.
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Speaker 1: Compatibility where God has created different directions. You cannot make
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Speaker 1: someone walk at the pace of your transformation. And you
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Speaker 1: cannot keep shrinking yourself simply because somebody is uncomfortable with
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Speaker 1: your growth. Sometimes separation is necessary because your destiny requires space.
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Speaker 1: Space to think. Space to heal. Space to pray. Space
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Speaker 1: to develop. Space to discover what you actually believe when
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Speaker 1: nobody is influencing you. Space to hear your own thoughts again.
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Speaker 1: Space to rebuild your confidence. Space to pursue the dream
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Speaker 1: you abandoned while trying to keep everyone else comfortable. There
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Speaker 1: are things you will never discover about yourself while you
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Speaker 1: are constantly surrounded by voices telling you who you should be.
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Speaker 1: So when someone leaves, resist the temptation to immediately label
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Speaker 1: the departure as failure. Ask yourself what the season taught you.
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Speaker 1: Ask what changed in you. Ask what God revealed through
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Speaker 1: the relationship. Ask what you need to carry forward and
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Speaker 1: what you need to leave behind. Take the wisdom. Leave
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Speaker 1: the bitterness. Take the lesson. Leave the resentment. Take the memories.
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Speaker 1: Leave the chains. Take the growth, leave the guilt because
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Speaker 1: sometimes the person who walked away was not taking your
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Speaker 1: destiny with them. They were simply making room for you
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Speaker 1: to recognize the destiny that had been waiting inside you
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Speaker 1: all along, quietly developing beneath the weight of attachments, expectations, fear,
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Speaker 1: and the desperate need to keep everyone who once knew
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Speaker 1: you close to you, even when their season in your
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Speaker 1: life had already reached its appointed. Sometimes God removes the
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Speaker 1: person before he reveals the purpose. And this is one
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Speaker 1: of the most difficult things for the human heart to understand.
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Speaker 1: We want to know why before we are willing to
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Speaker 1: let go. We want the explanation before we accept the ending.
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Speaker 1: We want God to show us the entire picture while
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Speaker 1: we are standing in the middle of a painful moment.
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Speaker 1: But God does not always explain the separation before he
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Speaker 1: allows it to happen. Sometimes he lets you walk through
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Speaker 1: the uncertainty because the purpose cannot be understood from where
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Speaker 1: you are standing. What looks like confusion today may become
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Speaker 1: clarity tomorrow. What feels like rejection today may eventually reveal
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Speaker 1: itself as redirection. There are moments when God has to
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Speaker 1: create distance so that you can finally see clearly. As
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Speaker 1: long as you are emotionally attached to something, it can
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Speaker 1: be difficult to evaluate it honestly. You remember the good
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Speaker 1: moments and minimize the painful ones. You remember what someone promised,
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Speaker 1: and ignore what they repeatedly demonstrated. You focus on their
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Speaker 1: potential instead of their pattern. You keep telling yourself that
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Speaker 1: things will eventually become different because you are emotionally invested
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Speaker 1: in the outcome. But sometimes God allows separation because distance
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Speaker 1: gives you perspective. When you step away, you begin to
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Speaker 1: see what you could not see while you were standing
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Speaker 1: too close. Sometimes you thought you needed a person, but
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Speaker 1: God was trying to show you that you needed him.
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Speaker 1: You made someone your source of encouragement, your source of identity,
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Speaker 1: your source of peace, or your source of validation. You
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Speaker 1: depended on their attention to feel valuable. You depended on
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Speaker 1: their presence to feel secure. You depended on their approval
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Speaker 1: to feel confident. And when they left, it exposed how
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Speaker 1: much of your emotional stability had been built around another
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Speaker 1: human being. The pain was real, but the revelation was necessary.
25:48
Speaker 1: God was not simply removing a person. He was revealing
25:52
Speaker 1: where you had placed your trust. That revelation can hurt.
25:56
Speaker 1: It can force you to confront things you would rather avoid.
26:00
Speaker 1: You may discover that you were afraid of being alone.
26:04
Speaker 1: You may discover that you tolerated disrespect because you feared abandonment.
26:10
Speaker 1: You may discover that you were constantly trying to earn
26:13
Speaker 1: love instead of receiving it freely. You may discover that
26:18
Speaker 1: you were confusing attachment with destiny. You may discover that
26:23
Speaker 1: you were calling something God's blessing simply because you wanted
26:27
Speaker 1: it badly. And sometimes the only way you discover these
26:31
Speaker 1: things is when the relationship is no longer available to
26:35
Speaker 1: distract you from them. Do not despise the season of separation.
26:40
Speaker 1: Separation can become a classroom. In the silence you learn patience.
26:45
Speaker 1: In the loneliness you learn dependence on God. In the
26:49
Speaker 1: disappointment you learn resilience. In the unanswered questions you learn faith.
26:55
Speaker 1: In the empty space you learn who you are when
26:58
Speaker 1: nobody is applauding you. You begin to discover that you
27:02
Speaker 1: can survive without the person you thought you could not
27:06
Speaker 1: live without. You discover that your heart can heal. You
27:10
Speaker 1: discover that your confidence can return. You discover that your
27:14
Speaker 1: future did not end simply because somebody decided not to
27:19
Speaker 1: continue walking with you.
27:21
Speaker 2: Sometimes God removes someone.
27:24
Speaker 1: Because their presence was occupying space that needed to become
27:28
Speaker 1: available for your development. You were so focused on maintaining
27:32
Speaker 1: the relationship that you had stopped developing yourself. You stopped
27:37
Speaker 1: pursuing the dream. You stopped taking care of your inner life.
27:42
Speaker 1: You stopped praying with the same intensity. You stopped listening
27:47
Speaker 1: to your own convictions because you were constantly adjusting yourself
27:51
Speaker 1: to keep another person comfortable. Then the relationship ends and
27:57
Speaker 1: suddenly you have time to think again. You have room
28:00
Speaker 1: to dream again. You have room to rebuild again. You
28:04
Speaker 1: have room to become disciplined again. This is why you
28:08
Speaker 1: should not rush to replace what has been removed. When
28:12
Speaker 1: something leaves your life, the temptation is to immediately find
28:16
Speaker 1: something else to fill the empty space. You become uncomfortable
28:21
Speaker 1: with silence. So you search for another voice. You become
28:26
Speaker 1: uncomfortable with loneliness. So you search for another relationship. You
28:31
Speaker 1: become uncomfortable with uncertainty. So you return to what was familiar,
28:36
Speaker 1: even if it was unhealthy. But sometimes the empty space
28:40
Speaker 1: is intentional. Sometimes God does not want you to fill
28:44
Speaker 1: it with another person. Sometimes he wants to fill it
28:48
Speaker 1: with wisdom, healing, purpose, discipline, peace, and a deeper understanding
28:53
Speaker 1: of who you are. There is a difference between an
28:56
Speaker 1: empty space and a wasted space. An empty space can
29:00
Speaker 1: become preparation. It can become the place where your roots
29:04
Speaker 1: grow deeper. A seed spends time underground before anybody sees
29:09
Speaker 1: its growth. There is a season when nothing seems to
29:13
Speaker 1: be happening on the surface, but something important is happening underneath.
29:18
Speaker 1: In the same way, your life may look quiet after
29:21
Speaker 1: a separation, but that does not mean God is inactive.
29:26
Speaker 1: He may be working beneath the surface, changing your thinking,
29:30
Speaker 1: strengthening your character, correcting your priorities, and preparing you for
29:36
Speaker 1: responsibilities you could not have carried before. You may want
29:40
Speaker 1: God to bring somebody new immediately, but God may be
29:44
Speaker 1: more interested in making you new. You may be praying
29:48
Speaker 1: for another relationship while God is working on the way
29:52
Speaker 1: you relate to yourself. You may be asking for another
29:56
Speaker 1: opportunity while God is developing the discipline necessary to handle it.
30:01
Speaker 1: You may be asking for a new door while God
30:04
Speaker 1: is teaching you how to stop running back to old ones.
30:08
Speaker 1: You may be asking him to replace what you lost
30:11
Speaker 1: while he is asking you to understand why you needed
30:14
Speaker 1: to lose it. Sometimes clarity arrives slowly. You may not
30:19
Speaker 1: understand today why the relationship ended. You may not understand
30:24
Speaker 1: why the friendship disappeared. You may not understand why the
30:28
Speaker 1: person you trusted chose to walk away, but you do
30:32
Speaker 1: not need complete understanding to continue moving. Faith is not
30:36
Speaker 1: always having answers. Sometimes faith is continuing to walk while
30:41
Speaker 1: the answers are still forming. You can say, I do
30:44
Speaker 1: not understand this, but I trust God. You can say,
30:48
Speaker 1: I do not know what tomorrow holds, but I know
30:51
Speaker 1: I am not walking alone. You can say, I cannot
30:55
Speaker 1: see the purpose yet, but I refuse to believe that
30:57
Speaker 1: my pain has the final word. And one day you
31:01
Speaker 1: may look back and realize that the separation protected you
31:05
Speaker 1: from a future you were desperately trying to enter. You
31:09
Speaker 1: may realize that what you called rejection was actually redirection.
31:14
Speaker 1: You may realize that what you thought was punishment was preparation.
31:19
Speaker 1: You may realize that the door had to close because
31:22
Speaker 1: you were too emotionally attached to walk away from it yourself.
31:27
Speaker 1: You may realize that the silence gave you the clarity
31:31
Speaker 1: that the conversation never could. you may realize that losing
31:35
Speaker 1: that person did not destroy your future. It created the
31:39
Speaker 1: space in which you finally began to recognize yourself. Hear
31:44
Speaker 1: God more clearly, recover your focus, rebuild your confidence, and
31:48
Speaker 1: understand that the purpose of that season was never simply
31:53
Speaker 1: about who stayed, but about who you were becoming while
31:57
Speaker 1: they were there and who you would become after they
32:00
Speaker 1: were gone, standing in the quiet place where God was
32:04
Speaker 1: teaching you to trust him without needing to know every
32:08
Speaker 1: detail first. When somebody walks out of your life, one
32:12
Speaker 1: of the greatest dangers is allowing their departure to become
32:16
Speaker 1: a judgment against your worth. You can lose a relationship
32:20
Speaker 1: without losing your value. You can lose a friendship without
32:25
Speaker 1: losing your identity. You can be rejected by a person
32:28
Speaker 1: without being rejected by God. Yet when someone leaves, the
32:33
Speaker 1: mind has a way of turning one person's decision into
32:36
Speaker 1: a statement about who you are. You start asking, what
32:40
Speaker 1: was wrong with me? Was I not enough? Was I
32:44
Speaker 1: too much? Did I say something wrong? Was I not
32:47
Speaker 1: worthy of staying for? And if you keep asking those
32:50
Speaker 1: questions without grounding yourself in truth, you can spend years
32:55
Speaker 1: trying to prove your worth to people who had already
32:58
Speaker 1: decided not to recognize it. Listen carefully. Somebody's inability to
33:03
Speaker 1: appreciate you does not decrease your value. A diamond does
33:08
Speaker 1: not become a stone because somebody does not recognize what
33:12
Speaker 1: it is. Your worth is not determined by the person
33:15
Speaker 1: who walked away. Your value existed before they arrived and
33:20
Speaker 1: your value remains after they leave. You were not created
33:24
Speaker 1: valuable because somebody loved you. You were not created significant
33:29
Speaker 1: because somebody chose you. Your existence has meaning beyond another
33:34
Speaker 1: person's approval. People can misunderstand you, underestimate you, overlook you,
33:40
Speaker 1: or walk away from you, but their decision cannot rewrite
33:44
Speaker 1: what God has placed inside you. Sometimes we give people
33:48
Speaker 1: too much authority over our identity. We allow their opinions
33:52
Speaker 1: to become our mirror. If they praise us, we feel valuable.
33:56
Speaker 1: If they criticize us, we feel worthless. If they stay,
34:00
Speaker 1: we feel chosen. If they leave, we feel abandoned. If
34:04
Speaker 1: they respond, we feel important. If they become distant, we
34:08
Speaker 1: question ourselves. That is a dangerous way to live because
34:12
Speaker 1: human beings are inconsistent. People's emotions change. People's priorities change.
34:18
Speaker 1: People's understanding changes. Somebody can celebrate you today and misunderstand
34:24
Speaker 1: you tomorrow. If your identity depends on their behavior, then
34:29
Speaker 1: your confidence will rise and fall every time they change
34:33
Speaker 1: their mind. You have to build your identity on something
34:36
Speaker 1: deeper than human approval. Otherwise, every departure will feel like destruction.
34:43
Speaker 1: You will keep chasing people because you are not really
34:47
Speaker 1: chasing them. You are chasing the feeling of being wanted.
34:51
Speaker 1: You will keep apologizing because you are not really trying
34:55
Speaker 1: to restore peace. You are trying to restore your sense
34:59
Speaker 1: of worth. You will tolerate disrespect because being mistreated feels
35:04
Speaker 1: better to you than being alone. You will accept crumbs
35:09
Speaker 1: because you have forgotten that you were created for more
35:12
Speaker 1: than somebody's occasional attention. Do not confuse somebody leaving with
35:18
Speaker 1: you being unworthy of love. Relationships end for many reasons.
35:23
Speaker 1: People grow apart. Circumstances change. Priorities shift. Character differences become visible.
35:30
Speaker 1: Boundaries become necessary. Sometimes people simply choose different paths. Not
35:36
Speaker 1: every ending is a verdict on your character. Sometimes the
35:40
Speaker 1: relationship ended because it had reached its limit, not because
35:44
Speaker 1: you had reached yours. Do not take a temporary relationship
35:49
Speaker 1: and turn it into a permanent accusation against yourself. You
35:53
Speaker 1: must also stop romanticizing rejection. Sometimes when someone leaves, you
35:59
Speaker 1: immediately assume they found someone better, someone more attractive, more successful,
36:05
Speaker 1: more interesting, or more deserving. You compare yourself to whoever
36:10
Speaker 1: came after you. You examine their appearance. You examine their lifestyle.
36:16
Speaker 1: You examine what they have that you do not have.
36:19
Speaker 1: And slowly, you turn another person's choice into a competition
36:23
Speaker 1: you were never invited to enter. But their decision is
36:27
Speaker 1: not a scoreboard. You do not need to become somebody
36:31
Speaker 1: else to prove that you deserve to be loved. There
36:34
Speaker 1: will be people who cannot see your heart because they
36:38
Speaker 1: are looking through the limitations of their own understanding. There
36:42
Speaker 1: will be people who only recognize your value after.
36:46
Speaker 2: You are gone.
36:48
Speaker 1: There will be people who appreciate you when it is
36:51
Speaker 1: too late to repair what they damaged. There will be
36:55
Speaker 1: people who misunderstand your silence, your boundaries, your growth, and
37:00
Speaker 1: your intentions. You cannot spend your entire life correcting every
37:05
Speaker 1: person's perception of you. If you know who you are
37:08
Speaker 1: before God, then you do not have to become exhausted
37:12
Speaker 1: trying to convince everybody else. Sometimes the healthiest thing you
37:17
Speaker 1: can do after someone leaves is refuse to chase an
37:21
Speaker 1: explanation that will never satisfy you. You may want them
37:25
Speaker 1: to tell you that you were valuable. You may want
37:28
Speaker 1: them to admit that they made a mistake. You may
37:31
Speaker 1: want them to say that they regret losing you. You
37:34
Speaker 1: may want them to return just so you can finally
37:38
Speaker 1: feel chosen.
37:39
Speaker 2: But be careful.
37:41
Speaker 1: If your healing depends on their return, then you have
37:44
Speaker 1: placed the key to your peace in somebody else's hands.
37:47
Speaker 1: You cannot live like that. Your healing has to begin
37:52
Speaker 1: even if they never apologize, never return, and never understand
37:56
Speaker 1: what they did to you. You can grieve without condemning yourself.
38:01
Speaker 1: You can cry without calling yourself weak. You can miss
38:05
Speaker 1: someone without believing you need them back. You can admit
38:09
Speaker 1: that the relationship mattered without believing it was meant to
38:14
Speaker 1: last forever. You can acknowledge your mistakes without accepting blame
38:19
Speaker 1: for everything that went wrong. There is a difference between
38:23
Speaker 1: accountability and self-hatred. If you made mistakes, learn from them.
38:28
Speaker 1: If you hurt somebody, take responsibility. If you need to change, change.
38:34
Speaker 1: But do not spend your life punishing yourself for an
38:37
Speaker 1: ending that involved two human beings, two sets of choices,
38:42
Speaker 1: two histories, two perspectives, and circumstances you could never completely control.
38:48
Speaker 1: Sometimes losing somebody exposes how little you believed in yourself.
38:54
Speaker 1: You realized that you were measuring your value through their attention.
38:59
Speaker 1: You realized that you were afraid to speak because you
39:02
Speaker 1: did not want them to leave. You realized that you
39:06
Speaker 1: kept lowering your standards because you wanted to remain acceptable
39:10
Speaker 1: to them.
39:11
Speaker 2: And now that they are gone you have.
39:14
Speaker 1: The opportunity to rebuild from a healthier foundation you can
39:18
Speaker 1: learn to speak without fear you can establish boundaries without
39:22
Speaker 1: guilt you can love without losing yourself you can care
39:27
Speaker 1: without becoming dependent you can give without begging for recognition
39:33
Speaker 1: do not let somebody's exit convince you that you are
39:36
Speaker 1: difficult to love do not let one failed relationship make
39:40
Speaker 1: you believe that every future relationship will fail Do not
39:45
Speaker 1: let one betrayal convince you that nobody can be trusted.
39:48
Speaker 1: Do not let one rejection make you reject yourself. That
39:53
Speaker 1: is giving the person who left far too much power.
39:57
Speaker 1: They may have walked away from the relationship. but they
40:00
Speaker 1: do not get to walk into your mind and redesign
40:03
Speaker 1: your identity. They do not get to define your future.
40:07
Speaker 1: They do not get to determine how you see yourself
40:10
Speaker 1: for the rest.
40:11
Speaker 2: Of your life.
40:12
Speaker 1: There is a version of you that can emerge from
40:15
Speaker 1: this separation stronger, wiser, calmer, and more secure. You can
40:21
Speaker 1: become somebody who no longer needs to be chased to
40:24
Speaker 1: feel valuable. Somebody who no longer begs people to stay.
40:29
Speaker 1: Somebody who no longer confuses attention with love. Somebody who
40:33
Speaker 1: understands that peace is worth protecting. Somebody who can walk
40:37
Speaker 1: away without hatred because self-respect has become stronger than fear.
40:43
Speaker 1: Somebody who can love deeply while still knowing when to release.
40:48
Speaker 1: Somebody who understands that being alone for a season is
40:52
Speaker 1: far better than abandoning yourself just to keep another person close.
40:57
Speaker 1: When God removes someone from your life, one of the
41:00
Speaker 1: hardest things you have to learn is how to trust
41:03
Speaker 1: him first. with the empty space they leave behind. Because
41:07
Speaker 1: when somebody leaves, they do not just take their physical
41:11
Speaker 1: presence with them. They may leave behind memories, routines, conversations, plans, expectations,
41:19
Speaker 1: and dreams you once imagined sharing with them. Suddenly, the
41:23
Speaker 1: space feels different. The silence feels louder. Places that once
41:28
Speaker 1: felt familiar can feel strange. You may reach for your
41:32
Speaker 1: phone out of habit, remember something you would normally tell them,
41:36
Speaker 1: or find yourself wondering what they are doing and whether
41:41
Speaker 1: they ever think about you. The emptiness can make you
41:45
Speaker 1: believe that something is missing from your life forever, but
41:49
Speaker 1: an empty space does not mean an empty future. Sometimes
41:53
Speaker 1: God creates an empty space because he wants you to
41:56
Speaker 1: stop filling every silence with people. We live in a
42:00
Speaker 1: world that teaches us to escape loneliness immediately. If somebody leaves,
42:05
Speaker 1: find somebody else. If one relationship ends, start another. If
42:10
Speaker 1: one friendship disappears, replace it. If the room becomes quiet,
42:15
Speaker 1: turn on the television. If your mind becomes still, reach
42:19
Speaker 1: for your phone. We are constantly trying to fill every
42:22
Speaker 1: empty space because silence forces us to confront what is
42:27
Speaker 1: happening inside us. But there are things God can only
42:30
Speaker 1: teach you when the noise becomes quiet. Do not rush
42:34
Speaker 1: to replace what God has removed. Give yourself permission to
42:39
Speaker 1: sit in the season. Give yourself permission to heal. Give
42:43
Speaker 1: yourself permission to ask difficult questions. Give yourself permission to cry.
42:49
Speaker 1: Give yourself permission to admit that you are disappointed. You
42:53
Speaker 1: do not have to pretend that separation does not hurt.
42:57
Speaker 1: Faith does not mean you never feel pain. Faith means
43:01
Speaker 1: pain does not become your master. You can be heartbroken
43:04
Speaker 1: and still believe. You can be disappointed and still pray.
43:09
Speaker 1: You can miss someone and still move forward. You can
43:12
Speaker 1: have tears in your eyes and still have faith in
43:15
Speaker 1: your heart. The empty space can become a place of preparation.
43:20
Speaker 1: What feels like nothing may actually be something. A field
43:24
Speaker 1: looks empty before the seed becomes visible. A room looks
43:28
Speaker 1: empty before it is furnished. A page looks empty before
43:32
Speaker 1: the story is written. A road looks empty before the
43:36
Speaker 1: journey begins. Do not judge the future by the appearance
43:40
Speaker 1: of the present. Just because you cannot see what is
43:43
Speaker 1: coming does not mean nothing is coming. Sometimes God removes
43:48
Speaker 1: what occupied the space because he is preparing you to
43:52
Speaker 1: receive something that could not fit while your hands were
43:56
Speaker 1: full of yesterday. But preparation requires patience. You cannot demand
44:02
Speaker 1: that God reveal the next chapter before you have finished
44:05
Speaker 1: healing from the previous one. Sometimes you want a new
44:09
Speaker 1: person because you do not want to feel the pain
44:12
Speaker 1: of the old person. Sometimes you want a new opportunity
44:17
Speaker 1: because you do not want to process the disappointment of
44:21
Speaker 1: the last one. Sometimes you want another relationship because you
44:25
Speaker 1: cannot tolerate being alone with your thoughts. But if you
44:29
Speaker 1: rush into something new without allowing God to work on
44:33
Speaker 1: what is broken inside you, you may carry yesterday's wounds
44:38
Speaker 1: into tomorrow's relationship. You can meet a new person and
44:42
Speaker 1: still be emotionally attached to the old one. You can
44:46
Speaker 1: enter a new season and still think from the old season.
44:50
Speaker 1: You can receive a new opportunity and still operate with
44:53
Speaker 1: the fear created by the previous disappointment. That is why
44:58
Speaker 1: sometimes God allows the space to remain empty for a while.
45:02
Speaker 1: He is not punishing you. He is preparing you. He
45:06
Speaker 1: is teaching you how to stand. without leaning on the
45:09
Speaker 1: person who used to hold you up. He is teaching
45:13
Speaker 1: you how to make decisions without constantly asking someone else
45:17
Speaker 1: what they think. He is teaching you how to find
45:20
Speaker 1: peace that does not depend on somebody else's presence. There
45:24
Speaker 1: is strength that only develops in solitude. There are prayers
45:29
Speaker 1: you will pray alone that you would never pray in
45:32
Speaker 1: a crowd. There are truths you will discover in silence
45:36
Speaker 1: that you could never hear while surrounded by noise.
45:40
Speaker 2: There are dreams you will remember when.
45:42
Speaker 1: You finally stop living according to someone else's expectations. Sometimes
45:49
Speaker 1: God needs you alone long enough for you to hear
45:52
Speaker 1: the desires he placed inside you before other people's voices
45:56
Speaker 1: became louder than your own convictions. Do not mistake solitude
46:01
Speaker 1: for abandonment. Being alone and being abandoned are not the
46:05
Speaker 1: same thing. Abandonment says nobody cares. Solitude can say God
46:10
Speaker 1: is drawing you closer. Abandonment says you have been forgotten.
46:15
Speaker 1: Preparation says you are being developed. Rejection says you are unwanted.
46:20
Speaker 1: Redirection says you are being moved towards something different. The
46:25
Speaker 1: interpretation matters because the story you tell yourself about the
46:30
Speaker 1: separation can determine how you walk through it. If you
46:33
Speaker 1: keep saying, nobody wants me, you will begin behaving like
46:38
Speaker 1: someone who expects rejection. If you keep saying, I will
46:42
Speaker 1: never find love again, you will close your heart before
46:46
Speaker 1: the future even arrives. If you keep saying, my best
46:50
Speaker 1: days are behind me, you will stop preparing for better
46:53
Speaker 1: days ahead. But if you begin saying, this season is
46:57
Speaker 1: teaching me, your posture changes. If you say, God is
47:01
Speaker 1: working even when I cannot see it, your patience changes.
47:06
Speaker 1: If you say, what left me does not have the
47:08
Speaker 1: power to destroy me, your confidence begins to return. You
47:13
Speaker 1: have to protect the empty space from fear. Fear will
47:16
Speaker 1: tell you to run backward. Fear will tell you to
47:19
Speaker 1: call them again. Fear will tell you that you made
47:22
Speaker 1: a mistake by letting go. Fear will convince you that
47:27
Speaker 1: nobody else will ever understand you. Fear will make you
47:30
Speaker 1: idealize the past and forget why the relationship became unhealthy
47:35
Speaker 1: or why the separation was necessary. But peace will teach
47:39
Speaker 1: you to wait. Wisdom will teach you to remember the
47:42
Speaker 1: whole story instead of only the beautiful parts. Faith will
47:47
Speaker 1: teach you that what God has for you does not
47:50
Speaker 1: require you to destroy yourself to obtain it. There will
47:54
Speaker 1: be moments when you feel tempted to return simply because
47:58
Speaker 1: the future is unfamiliar. But familiar does not always mean healthy.
48:04
Speaker 1: Familiar does not always mean ordained. Familiar does not always
48:08
Speaker 1: mean safe. Sometimes you miss a person because they were familiar,
48:14
Speaker 1: not because they were right for your future. Sometimes you
48:17
Speaker 1: miss the routine more than the relationship. Sometimes you miss
48:21
Speaker 1: the memories more than the reality. Sometimes you miss who
48:26
Speaker 1: you hoped they would become rather than who they actually were.
48:30
Speaker 1: Let God teach you the difference. Let him heal your
48:34
Speaker 1: vision so that you stop confusing loneliness with a command
48:38
Speaker 1: to return. Let him strengthen your heart so that you
48:42
Speaker 1: stop begging for what he has already asked you to release.
48:46
Speaker 1: Let him develop your character so that when the next
48:49
Speaker 1: opportunity arrives, you will not approach it from desperation, but
48:54
Speaker 1: from wholeness. Let him teach you that you do not
48:57
Speaker 1: have to fill every empty chair. Some chairs are empty
49:02
Speaker 1: because the season is over. Some spaces are empty because
49:06
Speaker 1: your attention needs to move. Some doors are closed because
49:10
Speaker 1: your future requires another direction. And some periods of silence
49:15
Speaker 1: are not signs that God has forgotten you, but invitations
49:19
Speaker 1: to be still enough to recognize what he is building
49:23
Speaker 1: within you, to develop the patience to wait without panic.
49:27
Speaker 1: The wisdom to discern without desperation and the faith to
49:31
Speaker 1: keep moving even when you cannot yet see who or
49:35
Speaker 1: what God may bring into the space that once belonged
49:38
Speaker 1: to what you had to release.