Latest / Amplify Your Marketing Message with Christine Campbell Rapin / 191 - Turn Doubt into Presence: Speak, Influence and Sell More

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191 - Turn Doubt into Presence: Speak, Influence and Sell More · Amplify Your Marketing Message with Christine Campbell Rapin

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  If you are a B2B service based business owner and you are
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  looking to gain more clients, create more impact and more
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  revenue in your business, TuneIn to amplify your marketing
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  message with Christine Campbell Rappin.
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  Every week we're going to take you through how to build an
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  audience of buyers. Mastering your marketing message
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  and making offers using your voice is one of the most
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  important elements every business owner needs to master.
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  Whether you're taking big stages of whether you are simply
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  choosing to influence people on a one to one basis.
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  But self doubt can derail even the most seasoned of speakers.
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  And that's why I'm super excited to bring somebody today to you
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  to help talk about how do we use self doubt as a strength and how
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  do we actually influence sell without really needing to get
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  into that awful icky pitch scripting language.
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  Please give a very warm welcome to our guest today.
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  This is Katcha Vertebra, super excited to have you.
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  Welcome to our show. Thank you, Christine, I'm so, so
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  happy and grateful to be here today.
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  Thank you. So let's talk about this idea of
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  your voice is not just the oral component, it is something so
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  much more. Tell us what is presence?
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  Why is it so important? So for somebody who's a public
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  speaker coach, I like to say that people will remember you
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  from your energy much more than from your words.
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  So, which is really funny because I work with words all
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  the time and I help people transform words into something
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  much more than just a message. You see, in today's world, we're
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  constantly bombarded obviously a lot with a lot of information
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  now to stand out. It's not about the fast content
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  anymore. I think that people really truly
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  want to hear the heart to heart communication and really want to
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  believe you. And now to believe you, you have
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  to use your inner strength, your inner energy, and your own
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  belief to actually make your audience, whether that's one
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  person or hundreds of people truly, truly respect and believe
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  what you're saying. And I like to say that I, I
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  transform communicators because we are all communicators.
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  We're, we're born communicators since the day we are born.
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  We're crying as babies when we don't like something, and
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  probably even when we're very, very old and we can't talk
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  anymore, we still somehow communicate through our body.
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  What I'd like to to do is transform the communication
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  that's sort of average or doesn't make somebody feel
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  content into something extremely powerful and joyful, something
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  that we enjoy. I, I think this is interesting
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  because I think we often forget that we are boring communicators
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  and everybody has an allegation, especially if you've chosen to
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  be a business owner, you know, this is, this is table stakes.
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  I, I heard this in a podcast we recorded earlier this week.
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  And I love that kind of analogy. You have to curate your skill
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  set and it is beyond just the words because what does the
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  audience need to hear? A script or something else?
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  What's your opinion? Because I think a lot of people
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  still come to speakers and say tell me the script or come to us
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  when we help people with self and they said tell me a script
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  and I'm like. Yes, when it comes to scripts,
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  some people simply cannot avoid them.
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  They cannot function without them.
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  I have quite a few clients who decided to simply learn their
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  text. And I always warned them, if
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  your brain goes into freeze mode, you won't remember a
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  single word, you won't remember to breathe.
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  So that's when you really have to understand what is your
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  message? What actually I like, I like to
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  call it what is your gift, but not the message.
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  What it's what is the gift for the audience.
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  So this is the first transformative thing that I like
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  to do is don't think so much about the words.
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  Think of the message, think of what's in it for the audience.
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  So scripts, great bullet points, even better speaking from the
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  heart, knowing what your message is, following the structure,
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  perfection. That's it.
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  That's the perfection. You know, when you allow
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  yourself to just be the kid that you used to be and when you
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  bring that inner child in a speech that's well prepared,
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  that for me is perfection. I love that the authenticity
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  that comes out the, the, the playfulness, the charisma,
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  That's what I truly believe. And that's when I really, really
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  listen to the words. Interesting.
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  I know that one of the best experiences as an audience is
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  somebody who is owning that influence, owning your energy.
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  But here's the catch. Some of that energy isn't always
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  positive because we're nervous and we've got butterflies in our
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  stomach. And yes, it's true speaking.
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  It's one of the most commonly held fears people have.
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  And So what happens when doubt energetically spills over?
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  Yeah. So when doubt, when you, when we
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  actually we allow doubt to enter our system and most of the
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  speakers who deal with stage fright, and that's a lot of
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  them. And actually I have stage fright
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  still to this day. There's no way I can get rid of
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  it. It's in the system because I
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  feel very responsible. I I always come on stage with a
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  lot of responsibility to what I'm about to do, what I'm about
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  to give. And of course as a public
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  speaker that pressure is quite high.
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  But what you just said is so you have the self doubt now how to
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  get rid of it? Simply transform it into, oh,
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  no, what if you just simply go into, oh, yes, I will give.
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  This is what I will do when I come on this stage.
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  This isn't like, oh, no, what do they think about me?
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  What do they expect or what? How will they judge me?
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  It's about I'm stepping on this stage with something, with a
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  clear message. I'm obviously here.
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  I always ask my clients, yeah, but why are you invited?
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  If you're not good at something, you're obviously invited for a
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  reason. Please can we think of that
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  reason first, Not this or what if I collapse?
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  What if I forget? What if I feel the self doubt?
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  Of course you feel the self doubt.
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  It's, it's scary to be out there.
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  And you know, the social aspect of stage right is that we as
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  human beings, it, it's incorporated in us that we
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  believe more what other people think than what we believe.
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  And we really care about the communities.
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  So audience is sometimes like a community, even though it's
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  sometimes just a one person or 10 people.
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  But if we come in front of audience, we always think, OK,
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  the community will judge us and that matters to us.
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  So the question is, how can I not care so much?
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  Because if we care too much, our speech will lose the whole
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  power. Now we've put already a lot of
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  hours into preparation and we're just a few seconds away from
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  stepping on that stage. And if the self doubt will take
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  over, it will show. It will show in the first few
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  words with a shaky voice. And guess what, people just
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  switch off when they see somebody in stage fright.
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  Unfortunately, this is what the fast content did.
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  People are looking for that juice.
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  And the moment you show that stage, right, that's it.
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  All the hours of hard work are gone.
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  So the doubt has has to become the gift has to become OK, I'm
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  not here to now self doubt. I'm already here.
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  What can I do to change it? And of course, to breathe
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  through the, the, the scary moments just before we enter the
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  room, the stage, wherever we are.
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  It's the box, the box, the breathing.
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  I'm sure you've heard of it. You know, the 4444, I like to
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  call it. That's something that I really,
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  really like to use with my clients and with myself.
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  This is important to hear for everybody.
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  I think you you said it and I think we often don't hold there.
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  So I want to pull it back just for a second.
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  If you are taking somebody else's stage, whether this is a
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  virtual stage, whether you're presenting in a meeting, whether
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  you are invited into a conversation or somebody says
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  I'm booking a call with you, which is an invitation.
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  You have a real opportunity here to say what value do I bring in
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  this equation and listen to the answer.
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  Because if you can deliver against that expectation, which
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  is why the invitation was extended in the 1st place, it is
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  the reason to put the brakes on. Yeah, for the freight train
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  that's running in fear because it's like, oh, right, I'm here
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  and ask for this. I think it's so important.
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  Like when you're gifted a stage, it's like the first question I
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  personally always say to to my host is how can I deliver for
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  you today? What is it that you've asked me
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  to bring to your audience? What would success look like in
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  the deliverable? OK, I can just live to that
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  expectation. And I think that's a really
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  beautiful insight. Ask why you're here.
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  And I saw an incredible way to handle, you know, to your point,
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  you can lose an audience if you're too fearful.
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  And somebody who was speaking on a really big stage had a great
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  whiplash moment where they came on and said, my voice is going
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  to wobble for the 1st 2 minutes, hang with me because it will
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  steady itself. And everybody in the audience
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  was like, I get this guy, I'd be terrified too.
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  And sure enough, when he found his rhythm and got going, yes,
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  he did, he did suddenly feel and own that conversation.
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  And you can acknowledge your fearful.
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  It's OK to do that. Everybody knows it's scary to be
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  up there. But don't let the fear be the
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  reason. You have to acknowledge it to
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  really stay with the audience, I think.
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  Can I share just a really, now that you've said this, this
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  example, I would like to share my own experience.
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  So I had to perform once in front of the president of our
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  country. It was a Film Festival in, in
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  my, in my country, in Slovenia where I live.
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  And I, I had to go on stage and I was really, really full of
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  self doubt, very low self esteem as a singer because I'm not a
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  professional singer, I am an amateur.
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  But I really made it with my first song.
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  So they've invited me to this festival and the president of
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  the state is there and all important people.
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  And I'm shaking. So I come on the stage and I
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  actually say, well, when I heard that Mr. President is coming, I
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  really felt like, what am I going to do?
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  And I haven't felt very good about myself.
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  And in that moment, this huge applause comes from everybody,
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  you know? And so audience isn't as awful
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  as it seems, but for some reason, we think they are
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  really, really judgmental. And if we ask for support,
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  audience will be there for us because guess what?
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  Every individual in that audience, they would be feeling
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  the same. They would be shaky.
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  They would be full of self doubt.
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  Some of them actually go, oh, I'm so proud that somebody even
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  walks on the stage. And I always go, that's not
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  enough to walk on the stage. You know, walking on stage is
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  one part, just one little step. But then we do have to deliver.
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  So yeah, I like that example. And I you just reminded me of my
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  little. Example, we are, we, we are all
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  nervous and I I think it's important.
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  It is not lip service. I will tell you every time I
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  take a big stage to this day, every time I create my own rooms
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  and I have lots of events in my business and of course we have
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  the podcast. I'm like, there's always a
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  moment of anticipation and that's the way I see it.
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  I don't see it as fear. I see it as anticipation.
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  And my habit is I usually, you know, if it's really a big thing
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  and I'm in my head and I know it, I bring a post it note
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  somewhere with me I and that I can see in front of me and it
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  just says breathe. Like get there, centre your feet
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  and breathe and breathe until you're not shaking to the degree
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  you were when you started and then begin.
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  And people, you're right. I think this is important to
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  say. Your audience is not looking for
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  you to fail. They're looking because you were
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  asked to be here to give, give something, lean in and they will
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  meet you there. And I love that you share this
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  about your own experience because when you're in front of
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  people that you have respect for or you understand there's others
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  that respect them, you have this sense of, I want to do this
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  well. And being human in the doing
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  well is what makes you really relatable.
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  And that's so important. Yes, You as a transformational
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  speaker coach, help people with visibility because a lot of
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  people in business particularly know they need to be visible and
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  we'll do a lot of things first. Why is visibility so important
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  and why should we start now building this so that we can
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  influence others? I always say that we have to be
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  visible and do our best and visibility so that we can not
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  shame ourselves or not blame ourselves for failing.
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  Because when we give everything into the speech presentation,
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  into our presence, just for those few moments, I believe if
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  we fail, we will be able to forgive ourselves much easier
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  than if we just go half prepared, you know, Oh yeah, I'm
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  gonna fail anyway. And then we fail.
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  And they were like, yeah, I'm a loser anyway.
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  So I think it's all very psychologically connected to
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  this. It's like, it's like games, you
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  know, the mind is playing with us.
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  And I I try to say that certain people, yeah, they have this in
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  them. And that's majority of speakers
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  who aren't confident and they have to do it for their jobs.
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  They, you know, everybody has to sell something in their lives.
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  We have to sell ourselves even at job interviews.
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  So let alone being a business owner, gosh, you really have to
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  know how to be present. And I often say to anybody who
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  comes to me and the people I work with, and I cherish them so
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  much, do you know, I say when you fail and when you do things
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  wrong, you just have to forgive yourself.
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  Because just putting effort into coming to me and understanding
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  how important this is, it's the next big step in your life.
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  And it's so important. And the people who keep ignoring
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  it, you know, they really suffer.
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  They struggle. They struggle a lot.
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  And they haven't opened their eyes yet.
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  I had a doctor, if you would let me just quickly tell you this
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  case, a Doctor Who was such a specialist, she would come to me
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  and she would say, I'm invited to this huge conference, you
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  know, thousands of experts, doctors.
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  And I've been invited by the main organizer.
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  And I go, wow, well done. And she goes, I think I'm going
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  to have to cancel. I, when I think about it, I feel
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  like I'm going to be sick. And I just go, whoa, hold on a
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  second. You've been invited by the main
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  organizer, You the only doctor from our country.
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  OK. I'm sure there's a reason for
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  this. Yeah.
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  I don't know what's the reason. The guy who's going to be
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  sitting next to me has 500 surgeries more.
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  I mean, I feel like I'm a nobody, you see?
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  And this is somebody who's a doctor specialist with I don't
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  know how many degrees, her own medical school.
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  I mean, you know, and, and this is what it does to you.
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  The self doubt is is a huge enemy huge.
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  And to deal with it, we have to be smart and we have to overcome
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  it with help, with help, because there is help out there.
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  And if we're all alone and if we can constantly keep doing this
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  Spire light, I'm not good enough, It's going to end up in
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  a really deep hole. And it's hard to get out there.
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  It's hard to to step out. This is so important.
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  We talk about getting help. I know one of the things that
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  really shifted in my business and I've been speaking for a
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  long time as the introvert, actually learning speaking was
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  easier because when I'm on a stage, I'm actually separate
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  from the audience. Like talking in front of like
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  walking a room of 100 people is way more terrifying for me than
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  actually standing on a stage in front of 100 people.
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  Because an introvert, I get to control this and then the people
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  want to come talk to me, come find me.
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  And I also don't have to do the ask.
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  So it's a funny thing, but when I I've always spoke, there are
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  rooms that to intimidate us. And to this point, your story of
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  the doctor, it's a room that she is intimidated by or is
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  comparing herself within. And a mentor of mine that I
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  hired this year says something to me all the time.
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  You belong in every room. If I open the door, which means,
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  you know, somebody invited you onto their stage, invited you to
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  bring your expertise to a room to that value.
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  Your job is to step through it. And we don't expect you to be
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  perfect. We know you need repetition.
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  We know you need the exposure. We believe in what you're doing,
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  and this is but one step in the progress to being even better
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  the next time. And you can't skip this.
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  You can't skip the reputation. You can't skip and take yourself
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  out of the game because the audience will give you a lot of
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  grace if you simply say yes and then work the system.
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  And I want to ask you this question because you have a
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  system. You, you know, you're a trainer.
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  You, you work with people to build this.
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  We know we have to step in. We have to manage our energy.
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  What's the tip you do or what's the tip?
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  You really work with your clients in your framework to
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  manage that energy so that you can step boldly even when you're
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  wobbling. Yes.
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  So it's a, again, I think I like to compare the presents with
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  animals, with animal energy because animals don't speak our
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  language. So I like to ask my clients
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  first, what animal are you when you communicate?
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  And they usually come with something a bit more weaker,
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  like a dog or a little cat. I'm a little pet something.
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  And then I say, OK, what animal? OK, Describe the animal.
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  And they go, yeah, I'm a really, you know, faithful.
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  I'm really kind. I'm quite shy.
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  And then I say, OK, what animal would you like to be when you
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  communicate? And they usually come out with a
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  wolf, a lion, an owl who's not afraid of the darkness.
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  You know, it's all these mysterious, quite unique, strong
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  animals. And so then I do the
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  transformation with, OK, what do you need in that moment when you
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  will walk into an office, when you will walk into a room, when
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  you will, you know, go on a stage to become that animal.
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  And what it takes is stepping in a role.
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  What I do is you don't have to be confident all the time.
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  You don't have to come home to your wife like you're in a
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  state. You don't go, hey, wife, hello.
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  What's what's for dinner? You know, you don't have to do
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  that. You don't have to be that every
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  minute of your life. But if you step in a row of that
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  animal and be the energy of that animal, you can do it for those
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  few moments. And it's not manipulation
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  because somebody's already asked me, hey, is this manipulation?
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  I go, no, this is a role like you're living in a role of a
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  daughter, of a mother, of a businesswoman, of a podcaster,
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  of a, you know, you can also step into role a of a really
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  good public speaker of somebody who sells their business really
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  well. And you can put the energy into
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  this box and like, it's like a little, you know, firestorm for
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  those few moments, for those 15 minutes, for that half an hour
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  of a meeting, you can be somebody else.
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  This is golden guys because this is exactly what I personally do.
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  I have this mentality. It's like almost like I always
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  see it in my mind like donning a coat.
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  I'm going to step on that stage as this person because that's
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  what this person is invited me to deliver.
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  It is a role I play for this period of time and energetically
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  I can manage the energy for the length of the commitment that we
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  have built. So I think that's golden,
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  golden, golden nugget. And I want to ask you guys, all
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  my guests this because I think it's an fascinating insight.
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  What works for you right now to amplify your message, to find
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  clients for your business and you really create this big
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  impact that you do in your business.
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  What's working right now? What's working for me is as as I
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  am somebody who loves to communicate to people is going
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  out there. I love to do live networking.
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  I'm also a member of BNI, which is actually coming from the
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  States. I mean, it's it's present in
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  over 70 countries. I think I love to tell people
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  that what I teach and preach is what I actually live.
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  I'm not somebody who's just gone to school to study things.
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  And now I'm going to lecture that to you.
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  I know what stage Fraud Pride does to you.
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  I know how feeling small and not important enough can be
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  damaging. So damaging that when you do
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  have to step on the stage, you actually are not giving your
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  utmost. You're, you're just surviving,
• 21:53
  you're not thriving. And so I, I often say, please,
• 21:57
  let's not go on that stage. Let's not go into that board
• 21:59
  meeting just to survive. We want to shine, we want to
• 22:02
  achieve something. So the way I achieve business is
• 22:06
  I walk to people and this is another golden nugget as you
• 22:09
  like to say. I never look at people up, even
• 22:14
  though I'm quite short. I have to physically look at
• 22:16
  them up. But the way I talk to people is
• 22:20
  like, we're just the same. We're equal.
• 22:24
  Maybe you have few, maybe you have many more, millions more.
• 22:27
  Maybe you're a president of something, maybe you're a
• 22:30
  politician, but you are somebody who's just a human as well.
• 22:34
  You go home, you have your own problems, you get sick, you have
• 22:36
  children. Maybe you have somebody who's
• 22:38
  dying at home, you know, and we are equal.
• 22:41
  And when I talk to people who of some form of importance,
• 22:44
  somebody maybe who I have to rely on for my business, they
• 22:48
  love it because they don't feel like they're superstars.
• 22:52
  All people are looking at me because being a superstar is a
• 22:55
  pressure. I mean, you know, all the famous
• 22:58
  people will tell you being exposed and being loved so much
• 23:02
  is a pressure because it doesn't feel natural, because we are all
• 23:07
  human beings of faults, of mistakes, of failures, of
• 23:11
  falling down and getting up again, you know, And that's what
• 23:14
  I do. And this is my, this has worked.
• 23:17
  You know, just a few days ago, I go to this huge gala event, the
• 23:21
  businessman, the business woman of the year.
• 23:23
  I go to the organizers. I have met them before, but I
• 23:27
  just went to them and I said, right, So I saw who presented
• 23:30
  this event, who was the moderator.
• 23:32
  It was a famous actress. I can do this better.
• 23:36
  And they looked at me and they were like, excuse me?
• 23:39
  And I said, well, you know, I really know how it is to be an
• 23:42
  entrepreneur. And I come from a family of
• 23:45
  business, and my father was a Craftsman many, many years ago.
• 23:49
  And I know how to talk to these people.
• 23:51
  I know I can get to their hearts.
• 23:54
  From my heart, I know how it is to be a Craftsman or how it is
• 23:58
  to be a small business owner. So I know I can speak to them
• 24:01
  perfectly. And you know what they said?
• 24:03
  That's it. You are so right.
• 24:06
  And I got the job for the next. Year fantastic.
• 24:09
  You know, and I went to that event.
• 24:11
  I was exhausted. And I went to that event with
• 24:13
  that purpose. I said, I'm going to go to these
• 24:15
  two people. There was a president of this
• 24:18
  Chamber of Commerce and the the director and I went to both of
• 24:22
  them. And then then they both agreed
• 24:24
  I'm the right choice and they apologize that I wasn't on their
• 24:28
  radar before. Which was funny because I never
• 24:30
  sent an offer. Or anything, there's much to be
• 24:33
  said for one, get in the room 2, have a bold ask and three, this
• 24:37
  I walk my talk because guys, this is this is this is what is
• 24:42
  needed in the current world. It was always needed, but you
• 24:45
  cannot win without it now. And so a lot to invite people
• 24:48
  to. How can they find you?
• 24:49
  Because you've got something that is leading with success.
• 24:55
  Where do they find you? So they can easily find me on my
• 24:58
  website which is www.italk.live. But the easiest way to find me
• 25:05
  is if your listeners go to www.winyourclient.com and if
• 25:13
  they sign in and sign up for for for my messages, they will get a
• 25:18
  really nice freebie, a video with quite some important
• 25:23
  messages and skills that they can start using immediately.
• 25:29
  Guys, I want you to go connect if you do not already have the
• 25:32
  pleasure of knowing. Ketchup Verderber, she is a
• 25:35
  lightning rocket. She's gonna help you
• 25:37
  energetically lead with who you are.
• 25:42
  Self doubt has a role, but diminish it because truly your
• 25:46
  next client is looking. They need to find you and we
• 25:49
  have an obligation to use our voice, all of them to get found.
• 25:54
  Thank you for being our guest today.
• 25:55
  It's been an absolute pleasure. Congratulations on your big win.
• 25:58
  Look forward to hearing more about that.
• 26:00
  Guys, connect to Ketcha and we will see you on our next show.
• 26:04
  Thank you, Christine. Bye bye.
• 26:09
  That's a wrap on another amazing episode of Amplify Your
• 26:12
  Marketing Message with Me, your host Christine Campbell Rappin.
• 26:16
  Be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform so you
• 26:19
  don't miss another great episode. see.