Latest / The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler / When your cleaning plan never works...

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When your cleaning plan never works... · The Christian Homemaking Podcast: Simply Convivial with Mystie Winckler

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All right.
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Thank you for joining me today for this second Monday of Organize October.
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If you've not been getting daily emails with extra Organize October episodes
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and a little, um, extra thought or brain dump prompt every day, then you
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wanna go to simplyconvivial.com/october.
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When you sign up for Organize October, you will instantly get, uh, access to
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the workshop that I kicked off the theme with at the beginning of the month.
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You'll get the replay for that right away.
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And you will also get, um, options for different bonuses for the month.
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And, um, and then you'll be- In the challenge, you'll be getting daily emails
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that will help you keep your head in the game and stay organized and, um,
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have, you know, that true story going through your head instead of the default
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story, which so often trips us up.
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If we just let the default interpretation or the default mood play in our
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minds without intentionally taking control of it and directing it
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in keeping with truth, then we're going to get off track so quickly.
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And often we get off track without even realizing just how far off track
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we are, because we're just assuming that those defaults are good, or
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the only way, when it really isn't.
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Often our defaults take us in the wrong direction.
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And so we need to be aware of what those defaults are and when they are
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steering us, and then how to steer ourselves and steer our own thoughts,
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take our own thoughts captive, and get them more in keeping with truth again.
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And that's what our focus is this month in October.
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So if you want that focus, then simplyconvivial.com/october
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is where you should sign up to get the Organize October goodies.
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All right, so this month's topic isâ¦
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Actually, it doesn't show it to me anymore.
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The title is missing.
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Um, it was something about cleaning
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When no cleaning schedule ever works.
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There it is.
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This is how we feel, right?
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How many cleaning schedules have you tried, uh, programs or checklists
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have you purchased, books you've read, you know, systems that maybe
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you've plotted out yourself, and yet none of them ever seem to work
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When those cleaning plans that we have tried don't work, what
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do we tend to assume is true?
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What are our default settings when that is the case?
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We think maybe we must just lack discipline, or, you know, maybe there's
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something wrong with our family, or there's something wrong with our home,
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when we're probably just thinking about the whole thing the wrong way.
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When we are trying to install some kind of cleaning program, cleaning
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system, oftentimes we do so assuming that what it looks like to have a
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cleaning system that works is that the house is always clean And the longer
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we do it, the less work it should be.
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So that eventually, if we really do install a good cleaning system or a
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cleaning plan that works for our family, we will know that it is the right one that
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has worked for us when the house is always clean and it doesn't take that much time.
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And then those two things don't happen, and so we say the cleaning system didn't
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work and our expectations about what working actually means might be what's
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actually totally off And we had a whole month a couple months ago inside Convivial
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Circle where we were talking about consistency, and a proper definition of
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consistency as a mom does not mean the same kind of consistency as a machine.
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So that's another way that our cleaning plans can take us actually off track,
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is we set up a system or choose a plan that works as if we ourselves as the
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mom and our homes and our families work in the same way that machines work.
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Where if you just program it correctly and then flip the on button, it should
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work and produce the outcome that you set out to accomplish kind of automatically,
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and definitely, you know, without hiccup.
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Any kind of hiccup in a machine indicates a problem that you should
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fix, because the whole point of having a machine is that it just chugs along
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and you get the same result day after day without interfering with it.
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And that's not how people work.
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Like, that's great for machines, and machines make good tools.
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But people aren't machines, and so we can't expect to have that kind of
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consistency or that kind of outcome from a cleaning program installed into our home.
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And you can kind of see with that language, we often are imagining that it
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works in the same way as machines work.
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But people are too variable for that.
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People use the home differently at different times and have different needs.
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People get sick.
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You know, there are just way too many variables and ups and downs to have,
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if we do this every day, it will always result in the same status in the house.
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That's just not the way l- a family life works.
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And so we have to really watch what we picture it meaning
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if a cleaning program works.
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Like, what do we mean by works?
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What does it look like to have a cleaning program work?
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What criteria are we using?
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What kind of outcomes are we assuming we will get if it's the right one?
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And we could be just totally off base in our picture of the way a
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functioning household works, 'cause a functioning household does not work
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in the same way that a factory works.
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The people in our homes aren't machines, and then homes are
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there to function for people, not for, you know, widget production
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So it's very possible that the cleaning checklists that you've tried
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or systems that you've set up even were working, and you just didn't
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count it as working well enough.
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It's, you know, it maybe wasn't what you had hoped and dreamed,
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and so you go on the hunt for the next or the better version.
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Because somewhere out there, there must be that perfect plan that will
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yes.
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Hadassah says, "A cleaning schedule won't mean that everything
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stays clean without any work."
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Right?
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'Cause what's being scheduled anyway, right?
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M- working.
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You always have to do the work for that routine to work And no matter
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how many times you do the dishes, there are gonna be more dishes to do.
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So you don't get to the point where you've done them so often or
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done them so well that they don't need to be done at all, right?
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That's just not how it works.
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That's how maybe some things work, but not maintaining a home
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And so we really have to get some self-awareness about what we're picturing
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good enough being or what working really means You know, what does it mean to
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have a cleaning system that works?
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It means you have some kind of framework that helps you keep tabs on the different
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areas of your house or the different areas of housework that you need to keep tabs
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on, and it gives you the parameters for giving your time and attention to those
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spots But I know especially with things like deep cleaning, um, you know, I've,
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I have episodes out there on just kind of the daily upkeep or weekly upkeep in a
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household, and always I will get a comment like, "What about the deep cleaning?"
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And I know my own approach years ago, you know, in my 20s and 30s, um, was
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I have to have a schedule 'cause I will forget that, you know, you should
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do this, that, or the other thing.
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And if I just find the right schedule and get those reminders, and then
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actually do the things that the reminders remind you of, I shouldn't have to
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think about these things in between.
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And somehow, you know, the condition of the house, because I have this schedule
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that I'm running, will be, like, pristine.
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Or we assume, "Oh my goodness, there's dust on, you know, the ceiling fans,"
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or, "I just discovered that there's dust on the top of the door ledges.
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I'm a failure."
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Like, that's just instantly where our mind goes.
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Like, how embarrassing.
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That should never be.
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I've gotta change my cleaning schedule so that it never happens, that there's
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dust on the top of the door jamb or on the top of the ceiling fans.
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And I just, I just think that that's not the case.
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You noticed now that there was dust, so instead of being embarrassed and
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treating it like a problem you were supposed to solve before it happened
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such that it never happens in the first place- You know, I just don't think
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that that is healthy or proper, a pr- you know, proper dealings with our
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household as it actually functions.
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I think that the way it should work is you notice there's dust on the top of
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the door jambs, and so you grab a rag and wipe it off, and then say, "There we go.
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Hey, noticed something, did something about it."
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That was 10 minutes.
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That's no big deal.
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Maybe I'll just run around and wipe down all of them, and
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hey, now the house is better.
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Like, there's actually no emergency, no need to panic, no need to go into total
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self-condemnation mode because there was dust You noticed it and you took care
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of it, you move on and it doesn't need to be a problem Like, it's just not the
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case that there being dust on something, like say the top of the fridge, or, you
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know, you have to move out your range or move the fridge out of its little
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corner, and then, you know, maybe you're horrified or mortified at the level of
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dust bunnies that found it under there, or the grime that rolled underneath,
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and you didn't know anything about it.
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It's like that doesn't necessarily mean you have to add onto your schedule,
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you should preemptively, for no reason other than to clean out dirt that
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you can't see, to clean under there.
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Likeâ¦
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Or when it comes to your attention, you take care of
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it, and then it's no big deal.
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And like we can just roll with it.
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We're not trying, like the, the presence of dust and dirt and grime
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at all, the fact that it's there isn't necessarily a problem that we should
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have solved before it ever happened such that it never happens at all.
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Instead, when there is, you know, something that comes to our attention
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and bothers us, and it's like, "Hey, you know, it-- that shouldn't be," then
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you just, you know, have rags, have something where it's easy to grab your
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materials and take care of it, and it will probably take 10 minutes And if you
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don't notice it for a while, probably that's 'cause there are actually more
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important things that you are noticing.
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Or you need to practice your noticing and just roll with what you notice
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and improve your noticing skills.
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Maybe assign yourself, instead of an elaborate cleaning plan where you're just
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gonna follow it slavishly so that you don't have to think or pay attention to
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your home, and yet it will stay perfectly clean because you've followed orders
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That's not gonna play out well long term.
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If instead you say you assign an area of your home a particular day or a
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particular week, and you're gonna spend some time paying attention, like
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just noticing that space, and then doing something that that space needs
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That's managing a home.
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And that's managing a home.
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You're being the manager.
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You are being the caretaker, the one who's coming in and really seeing what
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that space needs, not going to find a boss or a slave master who's going to
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dictate what needs to be done as if there is some kind of one-size-fits-all.
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If everybody just did this, everybody could have a clean home.
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You know how different homes are?
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And how different families live in their homes differently?
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And how different it is in different seasons?
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Uh, I mean, different, like, literal annual seasons, but
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also different seasons of life.
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Like, the kind of work that needs to happen, the kind of messes that
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happen when everyone's little, are completely different than the kind
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that happen when everyone's a teenager.
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So, no matter what season you are in, it's not like there is a perfect plan
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out there for you that if you just found it and installed it, you're
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good to go for the rest of your life.
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You don't need to find a checklist to obey to get you the outcome that you want.
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There is no plug-and-play formula.
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There is you living wisely and well within your space with your family, managing
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that appropriately with your priorities in gear and without just falling off the
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cliff of self-condemnation every time something isn't the way you would prefer.
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That's, you know, organizing what matters first, which is
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our attitude and our expectation
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Yes.
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Right?
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She says, it's as if you're saying, "There's a weed in my garden.
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I failed the whole thing."
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Right?
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It's like, of course there's a weed in yourâ¦
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You- if you chose to garden, you're gonna have to deal with weeds.
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The presence of a weed isn't a failure.
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It's just, you just pull it and it's not a big deal
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Oh, that's a great idea.
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So Suzanne says that she started using the daily three model, so
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like a daily top three, which I teach in the daily card method.
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I have a free workshop on that.
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You can go to simplyconvivial.com/organized
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for a free training on the daily card method if you aren't
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sure what she's talking about.
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But Suzanne says, "I've been using the daily three model for when I
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do a deep clean of a target area."
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Uh, she goes in and she asks, "Which three things would make the
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biggest difference in this area?
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If my deep cleaning morning doesn't go as planned," because it won't, right?
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Yeah, you don't need a super detailed prescribed thing.
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You just need some dedicated t- time and attention in the different
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places, and that time and a- attention can be prioritized According to
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how integral that space is to your family's functioning, right?
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Um, like it's okay if your garage is a storage area And if it's not
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beautiful, like that's actually okay
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Yes, Melissa says, "I may not need to write a list, but I
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do enjoy checking things off.
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Making my own list and checking it off helps my mindset and gives me a
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little reward every task I accomplish."
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Yeah, and you know, writing things down, writing down what you notice
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so that then you can take care of it, writing your own checklists is great.
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The problem comes when you think that you are trying to develop like
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the one checklist to rule them all.
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Like, "I will perfect this one checklist so well that I can just continually reuse.
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I'll never have to write another list again.
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This one will work forever and all time."
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And then when it stops working, like something went wrong, when
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lists just aren't supposed to ever be the one list to rule them all.
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A list is just writing down what you're paying attention to so
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that then you can work through it.
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That is, it's a part of the process, and so you can just keep doing that.
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And if the list, you know, that maybe you did reuse a few times in the winter,
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then suddenly doesn't work in the spring, it's not necessarily 'cause anything went
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wrong or the list failed or you failed.
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You just need a new list.
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You just make a new one.
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It's not a big deal
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All right.
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So I am so enjoying doing Organize October with you, and I hope that you
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will stick around and sign up to get the bonuses that go with Organize October.
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You can find those at simplyconvivial.com/october.
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And then, um, enjoy the episodes.
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Make sure that you're subscribed on YouTube or the podcast.
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Anywhere you listen to podcasts, you can find the Simply Convivial
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Christian Homemaking podcast.
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And we'll keep going.
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We're, the month is underway, but there's still plenty of October left.
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So we're gonna get our attitude in gear before the holidays really kick in, and,
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uh, I look forward to doing that with you.
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So thanks everyone for coming.