Latest / Walk the Pod: 10 minute walking / S65E8 Confidence comes with experience

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S65E8 Confidence comes with experience · Walk the Pod: 10 minute walking

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to Walk the Pod, your daily walking
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  Speaker 1: show where I take my podcast for a walk because
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  Speaker 1: I don't have a dog. You're very welcome along to
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  Speaker 1: episode 8, series 65 on confidence, the daily walking podcast
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  Speaker 1: that tempts you away from your desk and to walk
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  Speaker 1: in nature for just 10 minutes. I've just crossed the road,
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  Speaker 1: and now I'm walking into the woods, but the traffic
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  Speaker 1: noise just falls away behind me to nothing, and the
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  Speaker 1: soundscape becomes populated by.
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  Speaker 2: Birdsong.
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  Speaker 1: Not very much birdsong, but a little birdsong. Today, as
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  Speaker 1: we approach the end of our confidence series. The theme
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  Speaker 1: is going to be confidence comes from experience. Welcome to
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Walk the Pod. Confidence comes from experience, says Sam on
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  Speaker 1: the Discord, and I wanted to bring you this as
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  Speaker 1: the contribution for today's episode. Sam talks about the confidence
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  Speaker 1: to try something new and how the frightening first is
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  Speaker 1: the bit you want to get out of the way.
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  Speaker 1: But then you have experience, says Sam. Experience of good
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  Speaker 1: bits you want to replicate or build on and experience
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  Speaker 1: of bits you might not want to repeat. But crucially,
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  Speaker 1: experience of doing all that and surviving. And this goes
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  Speaker 1: back to one of the things we've been talking about
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  Speaker 1: in previous episodes is you may not have confidence about
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  Speaker 1: the new thing you're trying to do right now, but
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  Speaker 1: you have a kernel of confidence from all the things
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  Speaker 1: that have been a new thing over the course of
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  Speaker 1: your life and how you've experienced giving them a go,
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  Speaker 1: maybe failing, but maybe failing in a small.
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  Speaker 2: Or a big way in order to.
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  Speaker 1: Use a slightly Silicon Valley tech bro term, iterate. But
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  Speaker 1: really the path to doing something well is a path
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  Speaker 1: littered with iteration and sometimes even failure because of course
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  Speaker 1: we try and we fail. The point is that we
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  Speaker 1: got up and we tried to do it again and
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  Speaker 1: that's what differentiates us from everybody who gave something new
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  Speaker 1: a go and it didn't work and they had no
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  Speaker 1: resilience about that and so they just dropped it and
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  Speaker 1: it never got off the ground.
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  Speaker 2: And then we become.
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  Speaker 1: Regretful of not having put more effort and energy into
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  Speaker 1: trying again. Now, I'm not saying that everybody has got
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  Speaker 1: to keep going with everything that they ever try. Sometimes
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  Speaker 1: dropping it and never doing it again is the right
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  Speaker 1: thing to do. And sometimes we try something for a
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  Speaker 1: good stint of time and then we decide, actually, it's
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  Speaker 1: not the answer, it doesn't fit with our life, it's
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  Speaker 1: not moving as quickly as we need it to, it's
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  Speaker 1: not doing as well as we want it to, and
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  Speaker 1: it's time to move on and try something else.
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  Speaker 2: And those.
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  Speaker 1: decisions are absolutely the correct ones so i'm not saying
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  Speaker 1: we have to push on through with absolutely everything we
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  Speaker 1: ever have a go at to.
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  Speaker 2: The end i'm just saying we.
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  Speaker 1: Have got to have a sort of reflection point or
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  Speaker 1: multiple reflection points and the resilience to keep going and
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  Speaker 1: build confidence as we go Confidence comes, says Sam, from
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  Speaker 1: knowing you'll get through it even if it all goes
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  Speaker 1: tits up. Which is so much easier the older you
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  Speaker 1: get because you have years of experiencing failure and surviving
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  Speaker 1: to be able to build confidence to just give it
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  Speaker 1: a go, test and learn. So, give it a go,
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  Speaker 1: test and learn. How on earth do we go about
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  Speaker 1: doing that? I think we just have to start, really,
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  Speaker 1: you know? It's just, just start. Start knowing.
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  Speaker 1: That yes, it will go tits up. It almost inevitably
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  Speaker 1: will go tits up at some point. But we know
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  Speaker 1: that we're going to fail and we know that we're
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  Speaker 1: going to approach that failure with a sort of curiosity
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  Speaker 1: more than shame.
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  Speaker 2: We're not going to think, oh no, it went wrong.
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  Speaker 1: That means that's yet more evidence that I'm a bad person.
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  Speaker 1: We're not a bad person. You are not a bad person.
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  Speaker 1: I am not a bad person. Years of therapy have
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  Speaker 1: taught me I'm not a bad person and I'm here
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  Speaker 1: to convey that same message to you. In one hit,
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  Speaker 1: you are not a bad person. And so it's not
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  Speaker 1: further evidence that you're a bad person. It is just
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  Speaker 1: the process of learning a new thing. Every single person
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  Speaker 1: who's ever tried has failed. So nothing to be ashamed
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  Speaker 1: of at all. It's actually more normal than doing what
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  Speaker 1: we perceive everyone else to be doing, which is trying
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  Speaker 1: a new thing and then suddenly being brilliant at it. Actually,
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  Speaker 1: that's not how that goes at all, but we don't
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  Speaker 1: see the failure because nobody puts their failures on social
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  Speaker 1: media and kind of demonstrates them and shows them to people.
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  Speaker 1: Might be quite helpful if they did do a bit
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  Speaker 1: more of that, but it's just the way humanity works.
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  Speaker 1: There are calls in science for scientists to publish their
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  Speaker 1: non-results and their failed results more often. It is difficult
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  Speaker 1: to build a case for something if your publishing history
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  Speaker 1: is littered with examples of it not working. It's a
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  Speaker 1: harder story to tell, even though it is of course
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  Speaker 1: the only story that there is to tell. Final thing
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  Speaker 1: to say on confidence, because tomorrow, believe it or not,
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  Speaker 1: we'll be summing up everything we've learned so far, is
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  Speaker 1: thank you to Sam and to Nige for sending me
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  Speaker 1: links to Parklife by Blur. Because that, of course, has
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  Speaker 1: a very prominent use of the word confidence. And I
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  Speaker 1: have to say that whilst that has been going around
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  Speaker 1: my head since we started recording this series, I haven't
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  Speaker 1: mentioned it yet, partly because I just don't quite understand
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  Speaker 1: what point is being made about confidence in the song.
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  Speaker 1: Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what
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  Speaker 1: is known as park life. Sings Damon Albon in the
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  Speaker 1: song Park Life by Blur. And I wasn't quite sure
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  Speaker 1: what this means, but Nige actually sent me some lyrics
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  Speaker 1: genius inspo about this.
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  Speaker 2: And the....
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  Speaker 1: The explanation, as offered, is that you've got to be
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  Speaker 1: confident if you want to spend the day sitting on
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  Speaker 1: a bench and watching people in the park because surely
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  Speaker 1: that's a bit creepy or a bit sinister. So if
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  Speaker 1: you're going to do it, and Damon is going to
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  Speaker 1: do it because probably he's not working when he writes
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  Speaker 1: this song, spending the day on the park bench instead,
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  Speaker 1: If he's going to do that, he needs to be
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  Speaker 1: confident about it. What the young people call, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: what the young people used to call before even that
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  Speaker 1: went out of fashion again, owning it. If you're going
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  Speaker 1: to sit on a park bench and people watch all day,
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  Speaker 1: don't do it in a surreptitious way. Do it in
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  Speaker 1: a confident way because actually that's slightly less creepy than
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  Speaker 1: doing it in a, I've got a mental image of
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  Speaker 1: somebody cutting eye holes.
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  Speaker 2: In a newspaper. And of course, nobody reads broadsheet newspapers anymore.
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  Speaker 2: So there we go. Final thought on confidence is that.
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  Speaker 1: Whatever we're going to do, we do well to do
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  Speaker 1: it confidently. And that, I suppose, is a sort of
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  Speaker 1: fake it till you make it type message. What can
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  Speaker 1: I see directly in front of me? Well I'm walking
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  Speaker 1: through the woods and it's actually very dry today. I've
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  Speaker 1: had storms for a week but the storms all seem
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  Speaker 1: to have passed now and so the wood is dry,
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  Speaker 1: the leaf litter underfoot is dry. You can pick out
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  Speaker 1: tiny strands of ferns and little evergreen, uh, sprigs of
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  Speaker 1: yew or something like that on the forest floor today
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  Speaker 1: because it's all dried out. And it is lovely walking
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  Speaker 1: through the woods.
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  Speaker 2: With sunshine coming through the leaves at me.
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  Speaker 1: Absolutely glorious day I said it was a lovely day
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  Speaker 1: a couple of episodes ago it's even more beautiful today
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  Speaker 1: or was it yesterday forget even more beautiful today if
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  Speaker 1: you think you've taken a walk today.
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  Speaker 2: Highly recommend it and if you're if you're listening to
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  Speaker 2: walk the pod and thinking.
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  Speaker 1: You know daily walking is a habit I'd like to
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  Speaker 1: build but it is hard to start I would encourage
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  Speaker 1: you to make the smallest possible step towards it today.
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  Speaker 1: Just think, I'm not even going to go for a
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  Speaker 1: walk today, I'm just going to do something that makes
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: it slightly easier for me to go tomorrow. And that
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  Speaker 1: might be finding some good shoes for the weather, putting
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  Speaker 1: them next to the front door. Just leave them there
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  Speaker 1: to sort of loom at you a little bit for
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  Speaker 1: a few days.
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  Speaker 2: And then Maybe even put them on and walk around
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  Speaker 2: the house in them.
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  Speaker 1: In a few days' time. You don't even need to
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  Speaker 1: go out. Just wear the good shoes. And if you
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  Speaker 1: do that for a few days in a row, you'll
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  Speaker 1: get to a point where you're like, well, I'm wearing
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  Speaker 1: my shoes now. Might as well at least step out
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  Speaker 1: the front door. It's funny how these things can actually help.
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  Speaker 1: Even if you think I'm mad and being incredibly condescending,
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  Speaker 1: if this is something you want to build as a
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  Speaker 1: habit for yourself and it isn't working so far, just
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  Speaker 1: go with it. I remember the aforementioned therapist of years
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  Speaker 1: of therapy saying to me, well, you could write some
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  Speaker 1: positive affirmations on post-it notes and stick them up around
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  Speaker 1: the house. And I said to her, well, that would
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  Speaker 1: be completely mad though, wouldn't it? And she was like, well.
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  Speaker 1: You're somewhat stuck at the moment, so what have you
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  Speaker 1: actually got to lose?
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  Speaker 2: Genius. I did start.
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  Speaker 1: Sticking positive affirmations on post-it notes up around the house,
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  Speaker 1: and do you know what? It was actually helpful. So
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  Speaker 1: I'm thoroughly converted to the opinion that no matter how
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  Speaker 1: stupid the idea is, if you feel a bit stuck,
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  Speaker 1: Might just be worth doing anyway. You don't need to
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  Speaker 1: tell anyone. I won't tell anyone if you don't. Take
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  Speaker 1: care of your beautiful mind, dear friends. It's been an
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  Speaker 1: absolute delight to stretch my legs with you this lunchtime
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  Speaker 1: in the beautiful Cannon Hill Common Woods and wherever you're walking.
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  Speaker 1: Sending you many warm wishes and looking forward to tomorrow.
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  Speaker 1: when we will sum up everything we've learned about confidence
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  Speaker 1: in the series so far, which I feel, as often
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  Speaker 1: I feel, has barely scratched the surface of the topic really,
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  Speaker 1: but nevertheless, we will sum up what we've learned so far,
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  Speaker 1: and then we'll only have one episode left. So, take
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  Speaker 1: care of your beautiful mind. Until then, dear friends.