Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 304 - The comparison trap

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 304 - The comparison trap · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Today we're talking about comparing ourselves to others.
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  Now, we have talked about this subject before and the reason we
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  are talking about it again is because it's the end of the year
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  and we still have a lot, a little bit of time.
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  So people are starting to whip out their action plan and say,
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  OK, what have I got to do to get done?
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  And the first thing they do in this action plan is to start to
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  compare themselves to other people, whether it's numbers in
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  companies, whether it's teams, whether they're, you know,
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  looking at the To Do List and saying, OK, well, compared to
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  last year, I had way more things done than I did this year or my
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  numbers are off this year. And they start to do the oh,
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  well, where is this person? Where is that person?
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  Where is what is what are they doing?
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  And before you know it, you are in a position where you are
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  looking down at your numbers and you're like feeling meh, kind of
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  like, well, it's not great, but it's not bad.
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  Or you're feeling that feeling of I suck sometimes we're
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  feeling good when we do this and we're like celebrating.
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  But it's hard to get people to celebrate themselves.
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  And I know because I do this every day, all day, it is
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  incredibly hard to get people to celebrate themselves.
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  And it's one of the biggest things that I have to push my
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  clients to do because they don't want to do it.
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  They'll just chalk it up, they'll look at it and they'll
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  be like, OK, dad, that was that was OK.
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  And then they move on and they don't celebrate.
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  And if you don't celebrate things, you won't get more of
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  those things to celebrate. It's just the energy that goes
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  into it. So this comparison factor is
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  incredibly important because it has to be used as a tool to
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  carve out that awareness of what you could do to shift, but not
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  to have the comparison and have it become a beat up session
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  where you just go in and rail on yourself so that you feel, you
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  know, I'm going to beat myself up and then I'll do some more.
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  Nope, doesn't work like that. You know, the beatings will
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  continue until morale improves. Isn't really not a good strategy
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  anytime in life. Yet we seem to go to it a lot as
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  human beings and it is not healthy.
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  It is not good. It does not give us the the long
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  term understanding of ourselves that we really want.
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  Quite frankly, it sucks away our joy and it makes us suffer.
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  So to put it bluntly, we have to get past that in ourselves.
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  We have to choose to make something different.
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  We have to choose to make better choices and we have to choose
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  that we are going to allow ourselves to celebrate these
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  little things along the way. But it all starts at the very
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  beginning with am I choosing to do this comparison for just a
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  period of time? So a strategy that I want to
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  put, if you want to compare yourself, great.
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  I mean, I do it. I check on things all the time,
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  but I set timers on this stuff. I'm like, OK, I'm, I'm looking
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  at this, I'm pulling, I'm doing this today and then I'm done.
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  Because if I don't do that, I will suffer the on the long haul
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  of it and I will just keep doing it over and over and over again.
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  So today we are not lamenting this subject.
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  We're just putting it out there and we are going to say, this is
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  what you have to do. So stop it my friends.
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  Don't torture yourself. Go ahead and put your, your
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  thinking cap on. Give yourself a small period of
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  time and end it right there because if you keep going you'll
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  make yourself miserable. Make sure.
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  You're very clear on what it is you are comparing and.
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  Keep it very tight to it. Do not keep digging in and
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  finding more and more and more because that's only going to
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  drive you more and more crazy and there's no need for that.
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  So we want to be very tight on the subject.
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  We want to be very tight on how the time frame and we want to
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  make sure that we know there are limits to it.
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  We are not allowing ourselves to go all over the place.
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  That's when we get into trouble because one thing leads to
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  another leads to another. And what do you do if something
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  does? You discover something and it
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  comes up. Well, you can choose to add that
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  to the list. If you just make sure you extend
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  that time frame or you say, OK, that's for another day.
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  Now I am very, very clear with myself on, I will give myself
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  the time to do the what I'm working on, but then I have to
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  move over and say that's for another day, that's for another
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  time. And then I can look at it and
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  feel good about it. But I will not allow myself to
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  just keep parlaying and going on top of it over and over and over
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  because that's when the stress starts to come and everything
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  starts to get wonky. It's, it's a very simple, put
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  the boundaries up, put the rules up.
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  Do not let yourself run all over the place.
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  You know, that's the worst. It does not do you any good, OK?
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  My friends work on this because it's one of the hardest things
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  to control. We have it all around us.
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  We're constantly being sold to in so many different ways.
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  And this is one of the things they try to sell us on that
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  we're never enough. So do yourself the favor and
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  please, please, please be careful.
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  Don't allow yourself to do it. Have a blessed day my friends,
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  and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.