Latest / ok storytime / My husband thinks I CHEATED…cause I snuck out at midnight for months! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3106

Transcript

My husband thinks I CHEATED…cause I snuck out at midnight for months! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP3106 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Keon.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is your host, Riley, your favorite OK Storytel host.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: And we've got some great stories coming up from you.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a two minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: My husband thinks I cheated because I snuck out at
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: midnight for months.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: What were you doing at midnight? I, 36.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Female, have a secret secret. I am a mother of
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: two kids who are five female and eight female. I
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: barely got time for myself.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: What? Was that a secret?
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, I have a secret. I am a mother of
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: two kids. I barely get time for myself during the day.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: I work in a field where I always have to
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: deal with kids. You can't say I have a secret
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: and then follow it up with.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I have kids.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: I have kids. I work in a field that works
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: with kids.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is OP secret. She's like, I'm always stressed
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: out with kids.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: It can get really exhausting. My husband, Dave, 35 male,
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: is an early bird.
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: Secret.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Are you the worm?
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: He always goes to sleep at sharp 10 p.m. So
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: do my kids. I'm more of a night owl. I
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: don't usually go to sleep till 2 a.m.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Girl, go to sleep.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Go to sleep.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: 2 a.m.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I feel you. I feel you, OP.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: You cannot come in tired and then say, oh, I
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: went to bed at 2 a.m.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: I can.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I either watch a show or read a book. That's
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: the only relaxing time I get for myself. About six
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: months ago, I discovered a pizzeria in my town. They
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: opened recently. The pizza was one of the best I
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: ever had. I have been going there after my husband
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: and kids go to bed. It's a five-minute walking distance.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: The pizzeria is open till 3 a.m. I have eaten
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: there a lot, but I can say during the night,
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: they make the best pizza. I always go there and
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: order one medium pizza. They also have a dessert section
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: where they serve cakes, ice cream, gelatos, and cheesecake. By
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: the way, this comes from throwawayfoodies76. And if you want
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: showcase story time subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. So let us know your
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: answers below. We've got a little bit left. A lot
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: of bit left. We have so much left.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Like a full pie or like a pizza.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: This is the time when I feel blissful when I'm
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: eating alone. And no one's around. Could you not have
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: just told your husband, hey, I'm going to go get
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: a pizza?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, if you do that, I guarantee you. What about
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: the kids? What about me?
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: Did you bring me back any?
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: I would always come home as soon as I was
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: done eating. I don't do this more often. Just once
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: or twice a month. The times I would plan to
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: go there, I wouldn't eat much for dinner and my
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: husband doesn't know. Maybe because they're heavy sleepers and don't
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: notice that I'm gone. I know a lot of you
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: are questioning why I don't just order it. I know
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: I can, but those 10 minute walks are very good. Plus,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: if I ordered at home, I'd have to hide the boxes.
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: It would have been difficult to explain. There are hardly
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: any people on the streets. Our neighborhood is pretty safe.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: how to defend myself so the dangers are low. I
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: always make sure my kids and Mr. Husband are deep
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: asleep when I go out. I always check the windows
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: and the doors before going out. I always lock the doors.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: So far it's just been good. I needed this time
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: alone for myself. It's not like I always eat there.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: I usually eat healthy. But sometimes I don't mind going
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: full Nikado avocado. I exercise a lot and keep my
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: health in check. So today when I woke up, I
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: saw my husband in the kitchen with the bill. I
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: forgot to throw out the bill. My husband was upset.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: I can tell in his mind he might be thinking
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: something else. I told him I can explain. He said,
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: why do I have a restaurant bill from yesterday at
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: 1 a.m.? Was I meeting someone that I shouldn't? I
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: told him the truth. I did nothing wrong, but I
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: know hiding it from him was not a good idea
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: at all. I confessed everything that I've been doing for
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: the last six months. He looked at me suspiciously. I
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: don't think he bought my explanation. I mean, that's pretty
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: easily proven. You just say, hey, like, come with me
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: to the pizza place. They know me.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I'm a one to two month regular.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: He said nothing and went to work. I've been calling him,
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: but he keeps ignoring me. The last message I got
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: was that he also found other receipts and is in
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: a dilemma if all of this is true. He was
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: upset that I hid something like this from him. I understand.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I would never do anything to hurt him. I would
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: never cheat on him. I love him a lot. It
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: was just an innocent little secret of mine. I really
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: messed up. I don't think he believes me. I should
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: have just told him I was going out to eat
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: so that he doesn't have to be suspicious. I know
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: that my husband wouldn't have said anything to me if
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: I just told him earlier. I don't know why I
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: decided to keep it a secret. Maybe it was because
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I had the thrill of sneaking out.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Or maybe it was just the relaxation of just like
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: your mind is at ease and this is your alone time.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: I have to think of a plan to make my
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: husband not be upset with me. Any advice, please? We've
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: got some relevant comments. What do you guys think?
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: I think this is a ruse. I think she's actually cheating.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: She wrote this Reddit story so she could prove to
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: her husband she's not cheating.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I feel like if you just talk to your husband like, hey,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I'm at my wits end, and this is the only
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: time I get to just chill out.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Well, actually, maybe what you do is you take him
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: on one of your little 3 a.m. jaunts, or 2 a.m.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Jaunts.
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: You say, try this pizza. Staff knows me. Staff's like, oh, hey,
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: it's the girl that comes alone again.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: And then you.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: Clear your name.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: I hope you have, like, a points, like, reward system.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: But we got comments. Dragonic Smiles says, you could tell
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: him to go ask the restaurant staff if you're alone.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Maybe that will alleviate his fears. The staff should remember
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: the regulars, right? I get why you did it. Sometimes
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: I want to get alone time, but I also get
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: why he's upset. Like someone else said, his brain is
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: going through the worst case scenarios. He may also feel
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: left out. Maybe talk to him about arranging some time
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: for both of you together and get a babysitter in
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: or family member to watch the kids and include him
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: in an excursion. Or if you desperately do need the
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: alone time, talk to him about it. Yeah, that's fair.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: He might just feel left out.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: He wants pizza.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: I think I would understand if my boyfriend needed alone
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: time and needed to go get his pizza.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Especially if he's that stay-at-home mom. He's been taking care
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: of the kids all day.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: OP says, it's not like we never go out. We
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: do go out on dates alone whenever we can get
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: a sitter. This is one thing my husband is consistent about.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Last year, we went on a weekend vacation, just the
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: two of us. I love that. I like spending time
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: with him. But sometimes I just need me time. And
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: this 10 minute walk and eating pizza is just that.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: But on the other hand, I know the owner really well.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: We used to chat sometimes when I went there. He
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: knows my husband because I showed him a picture of
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: my family. He's a good man and might listen to
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: my request. But we got an update. A lot of
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: you guys have been asking me for an update. So
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: I'm making one and be done with it. First of all,
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: those who asked, how can one person eat a medium pizza? Well,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: she's not eating anything else. And I'm imagining, you know,
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: maybe like a You.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Want to see someone eat a medium pizza? I'll show
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: you right now. I can do it.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: Well, I have a really big appetite. Don't judge. Also,
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: whenever I decide to go to the pizzeria, I only
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: eat a small bowl of salad that night and nothing else. Plus,
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: they have thick crust on pizza and I don't like
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: to eat the crust. I like the pizza because the
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: sauce is impeccable. Also, to those who asked why I
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: hid it from him, I just didn't want him to
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: make a fuss about me going out at night. I
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: don't think this is controlling like many of you suggested.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: He just cares about me a lot and worries. I
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: also don't think that is controlling. I think that's pretty
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: standard to be like, I don't want my wife walking
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: at night alone.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: But also, like, can't just feel like she can communicate
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: with me because she wants alone time.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Plus, I don't want to.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Wake him up in the middle of the night just
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: to tell him where I'm going out to eat pizza
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: or have him be worried too much about it. So
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: on to the update. I decided to tell my husband, Dave, everything.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: I even decided that when he comes home, I will
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: take him to that pizza place and talk to the owner, Saul. Usually,
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: my husband comes home by 6 p.m., but that day
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: he texted me and said he will be late and
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: do not eat dinner without him. I was confused and scared.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: He came home at 9 p.m. He wasn't empty-handed. He
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: had three boxes of pizza for all of us. He said,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: I got to try some of this pizza you've been
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: raving about. One of which was meat lovers pizza, which
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: I like. It was from Saul's place. Good husband. He
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: took a minute. He's like, you know what? I know
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: my wife. She just really likes pizza.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: He probably went there. He's like, hey, you've probably seen
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: my wife. What is she like? You know her.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: He sat me down and told me when he found
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: the receipt, his mind went on a rampage of imagining
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the worst possible scenarios. He went to the pizza place
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: to see if it was true or not. I like that.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: I like that he, you know, he was like, you
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: know what? This is very easily solved. I'm not going
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: to jump to all these conclusions that my mind wants
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: me to jump to. Just very easily. Like I've heard
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: it from her side. Very easy to go check. He
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: went there by himself and some of the staff recognized him.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: I know some of the staff there and they know
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: my husband too, because I do talk about my family
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: to them sometimes when they're making my pizza. I love that.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: I love that they recognize him.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. These are your friends now. These are your pals.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: He also met the owner. Saul confirmed that I would
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: sometimes come to his shop to eat alone. Dave and
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Saul chatted for a while and he also gave a
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: discount on the pizza and gave us free cheesecake and gelato.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Shut up.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: That's because you're a regular and they're no longer your
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: pizza pal.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Now he was a little serious. He said he doesn't
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: mind if I go out and eat some pizza in
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: the middle of the night. He understands that sometimes we
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: just need some space. He is upset that I hid
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: this from him, which is understandable. He made some valid
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: points too. What if something happened to me and he
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: got a call from the police? It would create so
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: much drama. What if in the middle of the night,
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: he or the girls wake up and don't find me?
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: It will obviously scare him. What if the girls needed
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: me and there was an emergency? I now understand it
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: better that I should have just informed him about these
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: nightly outings. I apologized for not telling him and putting
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: him in a position that sounds a fairy. I also
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: explained that I don't want him to worry about me.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: And also, I did think about telling him about it before,
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: but I just didn't know how to approach it. I
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: mean doesn't it sound weird when I say, hey babe,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: when everyone goes to sleep, I sneak out and eat
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: pizza alone. Dave and I both laughed. He also apologized
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: for doubting me in the first place. He said I
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: do not have to worry so much about it, and
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: if I ever have these midnight cravings, I can just
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: leave a note on his nightstand. That way, if he
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: ever wakes up, He knows where I am and where
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: to find me in case of any emergency. And also
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: told me I can order in if I want to.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: My final thoughts are great. I think this should you
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: continue your little tradition. He respects that. Maybe he goes
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: with you sometimes on a little late night adventure for pizza.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I think that's amazing. I think that's amore.
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: Well, then we had our pizza dinner with our girls
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: who were really happy to eat pizza. Dave bought a
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: large one for me. A medium is good, but it's
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: hard for me to consume a large one. Dave said
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: he might check this pizza place alone sometimes because it's
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: literally the second time he's eating there. After we were done,
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: I put my girls into bed and we adults enjoyed
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: some of the gelatos with each other and later off
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: each other. So that's just it. No drama, no fighting.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: I decided that I would order in sometimes too. Though
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: I like walking there, I also love being lazy sometimes. Also,
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: to those people who are saying that I am cheating
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: on my husband, Riley. And me going out to eat
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: without telling him is similar to cheating. That is wild.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: That is wild. You guys really need to chill. Yeah,
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: I'm having an affair with meat lover's pizza. Yeah, happy.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I agree there is miscommunication from my part, but you
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: guys are really stretching this thing like a pizza for
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: absolutely no reason at all.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: What do you want from me? I'm scarred. Every time
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I go on here, it's something like that. What do
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: you expect from me?
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's his trigger response. It's fair.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: No one else has a wholesome ending like this.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one. I overheard my husband
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: say his heart still races for his ex after 12 years.
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: Better race away from him.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Hi, everyone. I, a 32 female, have been married to
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: my husband, 38 male, for 12 years. We met when
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I was doing my internship at his company while I
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: was still in college. We got married before I even graduated.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: We have two sons, seven and five. My husband owns
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: a construction and architecture firm, and we work together. You
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: guys work together or you work for him? Until recently,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I thought we had a happy marriage. But a few
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: weeks ago, I accidentally found out that my husband is
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: still in love with his ex-girlfriend. I overheard it completely
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: by chance. I was supposed to stay at home that day,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: but I decided last minute to go to the office.
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: When I arrived, he was talking with one of his
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: close friends. His ex had apparently left her husband and
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: was struggling financially. She had reached out to my husband
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: for help finding a place to live and he was
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: helping her.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, so he's already in contact with his ex.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: So, then I heard him say, my heart still races
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: when I'm around her. I froze. It felt like the
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: air left my lungs. I started crying uncontrollably. Some of
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: our employees saw me, sat me down, and gave me water. Then,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: my husband came. Later, when I confronted him, he said
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: that when his ex got married, he decided it was
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: time for him to settle down too.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: Oh, so y'all were together?
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, if she jumps off a bridge, you're going to
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: jump off a bridge too?
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: What I want to know is the timeline. Were you
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: guys together? And then he saw that his ex was
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: getting married. He was like, well, propose or.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I think they were dating.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: Well, my other question is, did he see his ex
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: get married? And then he was just like, who's the
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: first person?
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: And he also said that I was a good match
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: for him at the time. He said our lifestyles, values,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: and families aligned well. He told me he truly values
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: me and never wanted to hurt me. He said, I
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: couldn't marry the woman I loved, but you did marry
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the man you love. I didn't want to go through
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: the same pain, so I worked hard to make sure
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: you were happy.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, he thought he cooked with that. No.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: Go ahead and stab me in the back, too, while
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: you're at it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: I couldn't marry the woman I love, so I had
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: to make sure you made the man you love.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: You were the next best thing, but you will never
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: be her. Wow.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: My husband also said, marriage requires work, but you never
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: had to work for it because I work to give
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: you a perfect marriage. Shut up. By the way, this
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: comes from a deleted user. And if you want to
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give advice goofily. We don't know everything, guys.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: We only know what we do, so let us know
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: what you do in the comments down below. Like, scream
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: at this guy. As OP says. To be fair, we've
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: never had any major issues. Our families get along extremely well.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: We even live really close, which makes childcare easy. We
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: often travel together while our parents look after the kids.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: But hearing that he's still in love with someone else
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: broke something inside me. He told me, You're the most
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: important person in my life. I don't want to break
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: our family apart. I want our kids to grow up happy.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: This guy stinks.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: P.U., He just keeps pointing the finger at you, Opie.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like, oh, I made you happy. Why are
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: you complaining?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Then he said, I know you'd never leave the kids.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: If you ever wanted to remarry, you'd want someone who
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: treats you and them well. So why can't that person
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: be me? Why does he sound like he's trying to
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: give you, like, an out?
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like, you're welcome.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I'm completely lost. Should I stay in this marriage? Can
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I ever truly forgive this? And we have an update.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I wish he just gave it to me.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it's pretty dope. It's pretty terrible that
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: this guy is telling you all of this now after
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: you have two kids.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: He said, yeah, I gave you this. Our marriage is perfect.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think I'll ever love you as much as
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I loved that one. But I gave you all of this.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: That's enough love, right?
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: He's like, you're welcome. Why aren't you not happy with
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: all of the stuff that I've done for you? And also,
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: I don't love you.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty sad. I'm sorry. Well, could you imagine
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: how long this has been? I mean, he's never let
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: go of his ex.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Also, I want to... Wait, are you guys at a
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: good stopping point?
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're at an update.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: There's this thing called the first love theory. Men's first
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: love theory posits that a man's first significant romantic relationship
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: leaves a lasting impact, often leading to an idolization of
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: that initial experience. This theory suggests that men may struggle
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: to replicate or equal the intensity of their first love,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: potentially leading to a lifelong comparison of subsequent relationships to
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: this benchmark.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Well, it's like that thing that they say of how
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: this is a generalization, obviously, but how women will get
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: will be more affected immediately after a breakup, but then
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: get over it more quickly.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Emotionally more like.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, emotionally recover.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Easy, quicker. Yeah.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: But men will be like, oh, I don't even think
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: about it. And then, like, think about it year down
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: the line.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: So I feel like that kind of is similar.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: That's true. That happened to me.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like everyone remembers, I mean, unless
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: it's like your only first true love, but everyone remembers
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: like their first true experience of like dating someone who
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: was a good person and genuine with them. So.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Not me.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: My first true love is my boyfriend.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: So.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: All right. We got an update. So I called my
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: husband and told him that I'm going to start therapy,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: that I want to be alone for a while and
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: that it would be best if we permanently lived in
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: separate houses.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Fair.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: He said he absolutely doesn't want a divorce, that he
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: will never leave me, and that our marriage is strong
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: enough to overcome this.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: Dude, overcome you not being in love with me? Yeah,
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: you said- You loving your ex and lying about helping her?
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't marry the woman I loved.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like that, we cannot overcome that, bud.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: I know one way he would divorce Opie.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: If, again, his ex said, hey, let's get back together.
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, his ex divorced- His ex divorced, so now he's
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: going to get back with her.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: I don't think his ex, well, his ex is using
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: him for help right now.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: My husband told me, you're the most important person in
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: my life, and I just can't let you go.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: Shut up.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: I hate this guy.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: You know, it's fun when you say it, but are
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: you doing it?
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're the actions to back up your words.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: He suggested that we keep living in the same house
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: and go to couples therapy together.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: You can't therapy away you not loving me. Like, what's
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: therapy going to do? It's like, yeah, my husband told
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: me that he doesn't love me and that he will
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: always love his ex. Can you make him love me?
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: A little bit left here, Sophia. Do you think this
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: is going, yeah, doomed? Do you think this is going to,
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: you know, this may put a band-aid on it? What
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: do we think?
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: I think OP knows it, and I really need to
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: know what their ages are.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, 32 female, 38 male.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: I've been asking this whole time, and none of y'all...
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: I asked like seven times.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: You said it a minute ago. So whenever she was
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: in college, they met and he was only, he was only,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: he was only six years older than her. So she
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: met him at 20. He was 26 or 21, 27,
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: something like that.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: And he had a company.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: It's probably his dad's company.
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: Good to know.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Before we get into this final little tidbit here, uh,
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: If I heard my partner say, you fell in love
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: with the right person, but I didn't.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm done. It's like, oh, no, I did not
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: fall in love with the right person.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Can't fix that. Can't unhear that. But as many of
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: you reminded me, I can't keep living with the reality
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: that he doesn't love me the way I thought he did.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: I told him I need to work through my feelings first.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: I also have to admit, I'm a little scared of
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: what I might hear in therapy. It's 11.30 p.m., where
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: I live right now, and my husband is sitting outside
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: in his car. He's been at the hotel for a week.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: But after this conversation, he said he'll live in the
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: car until I let him come home.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: In the car?
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: I mean, if it's like a truck, it's pretty comfy.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I've seen some people, you could just lay down on
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: the back of it. So it's really not that bad.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: I just think that's ridiculous. Hotel, couch, friend.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: He's been out there for about an hour now. And
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: that's the end of it. Riley, can you double check
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: if there is an update for us?
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, deleted.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's right. Deleted user.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: I think based on the fact that we know that
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: he has a house, owns a company... I think he
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: is financially fine enough to go stay at a hotel
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: and or I don't know, like some other more comfortable
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: option than car. I think he's trying to make her
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: feel bad so that she lets him come back. He's like, oh,
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: I'm in the car. You want me to stay in
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: the car all the time?
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, so he says, I agree with you with what
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: you said. Someone said something about keeping up with an affair.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: He told me that he would never act on his
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: feelings for her, that he would never cheat on me.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: But he's out here telling other people at work his feelings.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: He never cheated on me and that her family and
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I are more important to him than his ex. He said,
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: I could live without her, but I don't know how
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: I'd live without you. Considering the kids, I honestly don't
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: know what decision I should make.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: He's a lot of words guy. He's a big words guy.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: You're going to be a lot happier and a lot
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: better able to take care of your kids if you're
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: not with this guy.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to say divorce immediately, but I don't know.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Just hear that and obviously try the therapy, see if
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: it works.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, but you can't make someone love you. There
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: is no therapy that can fix something that has never
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: been there.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you just go to a magic witch in the
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: middle of the woods, get me a love potion.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: You get a little one-wish willow, make him love you,
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: and then he is really awful.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: I don't think he'll ever get it. I don't think
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: he'll ever understand it. especially what he said, can never
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: be taken back. My heart still races for my ex,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: even though it's been 12 years.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Another comment. It's hard to find these comments because I
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: have to go through the thread themselves instead of like,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: because it's deleted. So he was a really good life partner.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: He has always been in my corner and I never
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: had to worry about anything because he was always like,
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: I got it, don't worry. Whenever we had a fight,
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: he would come to me and say, whatever matters most
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: is your happiness and our family, often with a thoughtful gift.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Because of all these memories, this whole situation feels even
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: more painful.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I think he's just buying it. He has enough finances
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: to really show how much he loves you through buying it.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: But sometimes, yes, gift giving is one of, you know,
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Signs of love. But what you said, my guy, you
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: can take it back.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: I think he just knows. I think he thinks that
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: this is how life goes. You get married, you have kids.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: And hearing anyone like your partner say that, oh, I
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: will never love you as much as I loved my
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: ex or this person is gonna hurt.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it depends on what you see love as.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Some people see security as love. Some people see, I
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: don't know, freedom within a marriage as love. But if
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: you need that like chemistry to feel loved and not
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: the support, the protection or like the other things, then
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: that's what you need.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: What does OP need to do to show you that
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: she loves you? Or, you know, how can she over,
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: you know, be number one or that person? She shouldn't
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: have to be in competition with your ex. And that's
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: the end of this story. We're going to go on
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: to the next one.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I moved across the world for my husband and he
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: ran a smear campaign against me.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Well, time to move across the world again.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: My husband and I have almost been together for 10 years.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: He's been my rock, my best friend, and literally my
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: biggest cheerleader. We have had disagreements like most other couples,
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: but never any screaming matches or anything we couldn't work
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: out just by taking a breather and talking it out.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: It's been the most stable, loving, and supportive relationship I've
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: ever been in, which is why I moved from the
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: UK to the USA. I love him so much.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Across the pond.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Last night, my husband went to bed early. He was
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: working an early morning shift this morning. I was buying
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: something for our toddler and needed a PayPal code. that
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: got sent to his phone. So, like I always do,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: I picked up the phone and opened his messages to
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: grab it when I saw another message from a work
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: friend of his, James. The message preview read, She shouldn't
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: be doing that in front of the kids. And I
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: opened it. There was a long conversation in which my
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: husband tells this person that I flipped out at him
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: for praying with our children. This has never happened, and
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: that he's leaving us. and going to try to get
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: full custody of the kids. By the way, this comes
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: from Foxtroll, LOL. And if you want to speak on stories,
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: you know exactly where to go. I'm Riley.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: And we're going to read the story goofily with our
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: advice and our knowledge. We don't know everything, but if
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: you have anything you'd like to say, please add it
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: down below. Opie says, It might have been a bit
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: dramatic of me, but I just started crying. It felt
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: like someone gut one-two'd me in the stomach. I woke
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: him up and told him I saw the messages. He
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: first said he didn't know what I was talking about
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: before rolling over saying, I'm not talking about this right now.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's lovely. That's nice of him.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: 30 minutes later, he joins me in the living room
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: and slams me with, why were you looking at my
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: phone like we have an open phone policy? I didn't
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: go snooping. I never had a reason to. I simply
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: went to get a code like I do all the time.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Then he says, this friend knows the real truth because
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: he came clean. To which I said, I want you
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: to know I already spoke with him. So I know
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: that's not true. Yes, I lied.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Is that okay? All right. OP's playing ball right now.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: OP's trying to play chess. Playing poker. This is her
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: poker face.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: Is it okay to lie right now?
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, we know that he's been bad mouthing you, so.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's been lying. But you're just lying to a liar.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: You're lying to allow her to get some more truth
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: out of him. Yeah.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: So it's okay? This is some... Yeah, we need some...
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: We need this truth.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I mean, we're not... I don't think we're trying to
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: save a relationship here.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: And honestly, we're... If anything, it's his friend.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: And then the story flipped that he said that to
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: his friend because he doesn't trust me. He did it
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: because he knew I was spying on him. He did
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: it because I've changed. He did it because all of
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: these reasons... that had nothing to do with him. I
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: ended the conversation with him at 2 o'clock in the morning,
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: where I told him, I moved across the world to
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: be with you, I gave you a family, I've supported you,
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: I've comforted you, been honest with you, loved you, cared
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: for you, and you have been running a smear campaign,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: painting me as a villain for reasons I don't think
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: even you understand. The person I love the most in
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: this world has hurt me more than anything else could ever.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: What you did broke every ounce of trust I have
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: in you. It's marriage ending and I need you to
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: really let that sink in. I didn't deserve any of this.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Why you did it has nothing to do with me
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: and everything to do with you. And if you want
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: a shot at fixing it, I need you to go
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: to therapy. I don't mean one session. I really need
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: you to go and figure out why the F you
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: did this to me and us. I'm willing to go
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: to couples therapy with you. but I need you to
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: please give me some space for a few days. Opie says,
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: I'm just yelling into the void at this point. Sorry
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: to interrupt you strangers. We have an update.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: So his reasoning was because they were like, Opie's changed
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: since they moved and like talking behind her back because
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: she prays with the kids.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: Like he prays, he prays with the kids and she's upset.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: He's upset about him. She's like, So what happened was
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: he prayed with his kids. He texted his friend. Oh,
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: I don't like it when she doesn't like it whenever
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: I do that. But that's a lie.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: Apparently, this sounds all so messy that he can't have
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: a conversation with you about something that bothers him about you.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: But he can talk to his friends about it.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: It might be the reason of I don't want to
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: bring this up because it might end our relationship. And
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: she just moved here. So I don't I'm just going
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: to have to live with this.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Imagine not having a conversation about that with someone who
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: literally just moved away. Across the Atlantic for you.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: So update. I called my father-in-law and my husband's uncle.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: I sent them screenshots of the messages, him admitting he
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: lied about me and that he doesn't know why he
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: did it. Uncle advised me to go to couples therapy,
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: but start getting divorce ducks lined up. He sent me
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: the number of a family lawyer who's a friend of his.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: He also offered to drop by randomly this afternoon when
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: my husband comes to see the kids. The uncle especially
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: echoed a few comments, and I agree. I think I'm underreacting.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Sophia just found us an update. I'm going to look
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: that up right now. Update two. Thank you, Sophia, for
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: finding this. Today was a lot. I called a lot
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: of lawyers. I have a meeting with one, not the
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: uncle's suggestion, later this week to discuss custody agreements while separated,
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: and I'm definitely getting all of my crap together. I
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: also called the bank and started moving my finances into
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: a different account. Oh my gosh. I don't know if
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: he's having an affair with James or anything else, but
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: I don't think it would change anything. I don't think
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: I would feel worse knowing that he's the reason. I
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: definitely wouldn't feel better, so I've decided to just let
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: him do whatever he is doing and just focus on
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: my own business. For those wondering, yes, my children are
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: dual citizens. but I have no intention of taking them
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: out of country. I have a life here, a home.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: a business and this is what all my children know
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: i don't believe my husband is a real danger to
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: anyone especially them he's a wonderful father even if right
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: now he's a terrible husband you think he's cheating with james.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: That would make sense why he was lying to James about,
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: because like, why else would you lie to someone about
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: what your wife is doing if not to make it
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: seem like your relationship's on the rocks?
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: To gain sympathy.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Why? And even Opie in the last post was like,
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: we don't even have a real reason. He just got
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: caught and he's like, eh.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he didn't have much hesitation. He didn't fight it.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: He didn't say no, no, no. He didn't deny it
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: for very long. We got the truth out of it.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: You don't even know why he did it.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: Weird. Ugh. And that's the end of this story. We're
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: going to go on to the next one.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's Smiley Riley here from OK Storytime. We're going
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: My partner refused to wash her hands, so I ended it.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: Ew!
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Starts off, I am sick and tired. So am I.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: So very cranky and likely not the kindest here. I
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: got terrible celiac education, so when my spouse met me,
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I was still cheating on some days and happily ordering
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: the gluten-free crust at Domino's and wondering why my IBS
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: was so bad.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Is she like getting toast on her hands and shoving
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: it in your face? What's happening here?
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: So I finally got better education from a primary care
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: doc who had celiacs too and learned the hard way
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: over time that I am quite sensitive to cross-contamination. I
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: used to do all the cooking for my spouse and I,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: which then turned into all the cooking and even all
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: the cleaning, which eventually turned into a lot of relationship
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: issues and couples therapy.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: Dang, it sounds like my parents' relationship. Because my mom
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: got celiac disease.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Does she?
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She can't eat gluten. But she's so
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: good at cooking that you don't even know is it gluten-free.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Somewhere along the line, she also started relying almost
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: exclusively on takeout, which has become both a financial and
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: a health issue that's being actively worked on. Sharing a
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: kitchen is hard. She frequently missed spots when cleaning dishes,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: and I'd realized too late that the clean knife I
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: grabbed had crumbs caked into old peanut butter, etc. That's foul.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: That's really messed up. As a person who has friends
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: who also can't do cross-contamination, it is really not that hard.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Also, it's cleaning the dishes.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: It's just cleaning the dishes.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: If people are cleaning the dishes and they see food
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: on it and they're like, that's good enough, not okay. So, eventually,
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: we separated dishes. What?
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Separate dishes? What does that even look like? What does
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: that even mean? That's your cabinet of dishes? My cabinet
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: of dishes? What does the sink look like? Is it
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: like your side of the sink? Her side of the sink?
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Here we go, Riley. You ready? We also separated sponges,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: which was a year-long battle until she would do it consistently.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: That's actually not even... I would separate sponges. I think
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: that's a good thing to do, but it's crazy that
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: she was, like, pushing back on the... Like, just use
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: a different sponge.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user EasierThanBaseball. And if
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: know everything, everyone, all at once. Or do we? We
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: only know what we do, so let us know what
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: you do in the comments down below. Please. As Opie says. Still,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: she will leave crumbs everywhere. Vondel bagels and breads and
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: cereals then touch all over our kitchen. It got to
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: the point where I would be consistently sick and assuming
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: it was IBS except when she was traveling or I
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: was away from home. Put two and two together and
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: started treating the whole house as cross-contaminated.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: She's just like dragging her bread loaves everywhere she goes.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: This is like a... You know, like when you see
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: a kid and even kids know not to like touch things,
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: but they go, let me touch that. Let me touch this.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Let me touch this. Let me touch that. Let me
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: touch this. Also, I sneezed on my hands and coughed
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: in my hands earlier. I didn't wash them. Oops.
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: Opie, I think your girlfriend hates you.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: I think they're trying to unalive you, Opie. So? That
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: helped manage symptoms, but was and is exhausting and leads
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: to other issues for me as I'm not able to
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: eat regularly or frequently enough and my hands go raw
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: and develop sores from frequency of washing. Your hand is
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: developing sores because you have to wash your dishes so
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: much or to the point, to that extent, you get sores.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'll pee them on your side, but get
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: some gloves.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: So this became an issue in couples therapy, and she
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: was willing to do a joint session with my dietician
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: for education and problem solving. The fact that you need
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: a professional to be like, hey, stop doing this with food.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Your partner's passing away.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good morning says, is she an allergy denier?
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: She agreed to safe handling practices because she insisted she
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: can't not eat gluten due to an already limited diet
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: from sensory sensitivities. She backslid so hard that I feel
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: like I'm back to square one. There's crumbs everywhere. I
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: can't touch things like the TV remote because they're smeared
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: with gluten. When I forget, it's like Russian roulette with
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: getting symptoms. I don't always get sick, but I do
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: often enough that it is a problem. She swears it's
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: not intentional and that she's trying and that she cares
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: and is willing to make changes. But it's been years
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: of this pattern. They're trying real hard, I see.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: Years?
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know how else to get my spouse to
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: recognize how serious this is or to even care. She's
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: seen how sick I get again and again. I don't
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: get how she doesn't follow through on this. We have
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: couples therapy in a couple of days and I wanted
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: to crowdsource other ways folks have dealt with unsupportive or
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: competent spouses. Is there a next step before separation or divorce?
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: Are there creative approaches to managing cross-contamination that you've found?
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: What are reasonable consequences to this kind of repeated boundary violation?
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: And there's an edit, but guys.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Every day when you wake up, put on your contamination suit,
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: wear gloves, and walk around with not actually even touching anything.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Letting your gloves touch the things, letting your contamination suit
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: touch things, and you will never again have any issues
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: with getting sick. But you have to do that in
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: your own home. Are you willing to do that? Are
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: you willing to do the hard way or the easy
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: way and just break up?
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: I think Opie likes the hard way because they've been
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: dealing with this for years.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: I think he would take that advice.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: There is an edit.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, dude. If he does not, if he
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: doesn't break up with this person, dude, divorce. I think
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: you could divorce and get some because she's been trying
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: to unalive you for the past couple of years. Don't
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: you think so? I call the police on this woman.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: She keeps putting bread on my remote and I can't
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: watch TV without almost.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: What's crazy is that Opie's partner has issues as well.
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: You think they, you think Opie should play like devil's
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: advocate and be like, all right, two can play this game.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to take away all your bread so
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: you can't eat it. So I can survive and now
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: you have to eat chicken tendies without the breading.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Edit. Lots to think about. Thank you all for making
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: me feel a little less crazy for being so exasperated
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: about the cross-contamination issues. My plan is to bring up
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: a 100% gluten-free household and couples therapy this week. I
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: thought GF stood for girlfriend. That was hilarious.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: I'm 100% girlfriend free.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah. For a while, I thought that was like the
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: girlfriend options on a menu on the restaurant. It's like, oh,
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: girlfriend can have this. Girlfriend can have that.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: So I've let her know I want to talk about
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: gluten-free stuff in the shared spaces in couples therapy after
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: yet another incident where she said she cleaned something, but
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: she didn't. So we'll see where this goes. And we
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: have an update two years later.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: Two years?
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: What do we think?
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: I feel like he stayed with her.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: Do you think OP's partner is like, cool? You know what?
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I respect that. I've heard you now. It's been years.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: But you know what? The flip has been switched for
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Opie's girlfriend.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. Because time and time again, Opie
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: has been sick on the couch because he's touched bread
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: by accident. And she keeps doing this. This is still
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: a conversation he has to have. And you know what's
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: even more messed up? He needs to have a counselor.
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: He needs to have a mediator every time he brings
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: up these issues with his wife. There's nothing left, dude.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: Update two years later. You all gave me a lot
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: to think about.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Took you this long to think about it.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: The couples therapist was pretty solid in moderating the conversation.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I brought up how cross-contact prevention wasn't being followed consistently.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: And my spouse jumped in with the I'm doing my best.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: You're asking too much line. And I said that if
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: this was truly her best, then we needed another solution
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: to keep me from getting sick so frequently. Which was
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: either a fully gluten-free kitchen or living separately.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: Why are you Why are you still with this woman?
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Trying your best? Literally, it just takes you ten more
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: seconds to do one more task.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: This better be a breakup. So, you all helped me
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: see that I wasn't asking for too much. And seeing
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: how she would rather I get gluten regularly than wash
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: your hands and wipe away the crumbs changed something in me.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: As you can imagine, this was only one of many
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: relationship issues. I am relieved to report that we are divorced.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: Thank goodness.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: It's in the bread.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: You know... The day after all this happened and he
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: sat down and watched TV, he didn't have to have
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: a second thought on if he's going to get sick
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: while touching this remote.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: In one more week, I will have my own apartment
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: fully gluten-free. Took you years. If my partner said, I'm
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: doing my best and I'm still getting affected, obviously your
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: best is not good enough.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, that's just an excuse at that point.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: I don't think she's actually doing much.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. we're going to
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Rain ruined my engagement venue, but my fiance's family turned
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: on my parents.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: That's a whole lot of issues right there. I, 26.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: Female, recently got engaged to someone through an arranged marriage setup.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: Before the engagement, there were already a few concerns, but
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: my parents felt the family was good overall, but we
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: decided to go ahead. 15 log expense and engagement. We
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: invited 20 people. The groom's side invited 80 plus people. Also,
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: the guy earns one fourth of my salary. Engagement venue
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: was booked and shown to the groom's family beforehand. They
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: were happy with it. Unfortunately, On the actual day, everything
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: started going wrong because of the heavy rain.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: It's a terrible day for rain.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: The venue suddenly had no proper electricity backup. We had
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: to fight with the management to arrange a generator and
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: water supply issues that we were completely unaware of beforehand.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: My family had been at the venue since morning trying
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: to fix everything. We had booked 12 rooms for the
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: groom's family because they were coming from another city. When
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: we found out about the water issues, we immediately arranged
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: rooms at another hotel that had running water. Instead of
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: staying there, they booked another hotel themselves. They were supposed
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: to arrive much earlier, but reached our city around 5 p.m.,
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: even though the ceremony was supposed to start at around
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: 6 p.m., which delayed everything further. By the way, this
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: comes from affectionatefold69, and if you listen to me on stories,
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: you know where to go. I'm Riley.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia.
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: And we're going to read this arranged marriage story very goofily.
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: If you have anything you'd like to add to this,
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: please do. I'm curious. Opie says, from that point on,
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: the atmosphere became very tense. During the pre-wedding shoot, my
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: fiance's mother kept making passive-aggressive comments about how badly everything
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: was managed. Later, my fiance's younger brother made a comment
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: along the lines of, there's no water upstairs or downstairs.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: Should we carry our crap in our hands? He now
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: says he was saying this to the venue manager, but
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: my father genuinely felt as if it was directed at
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: him and was deeply hurt. Question. Do we think the
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: universe is trying to tell us something right now?
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: I think Mother Nature is trying to be like, hey,
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: let's show you the truth here.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: Maybe this wasn't meant to be. Maybe something's not supposed
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: to happen today.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Some people think rain could be lucky.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: My mother finally told my fiancé' s parents that regardless of
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: the venue problems, nobody should speak to her husband like that.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: After that, my fiancé' s mother became even more angrier.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: I like how angry they get. Did they bring the rain?
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: Do they control the weather?
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: She refused to participate in the dances we had prepared,
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: kept saying she wanted to leave, complained that the food
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: wasn't hot enough, It was served very late because the
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: ceremony itself had been delayed and continue expressing how insulted
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: she felt. Also later, even when she decided to dance,
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: nobody cared that no one from my side of the
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: family was there. It was always about them. Even during
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: the ring exchange, not much heed was paid to my
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: side of the family.
• 42:46
  Speaker 4: Meanwhile.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: My mother apologized multiple times, even folding her hands, despite
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: the fact that these venue issues were genuinely outside of
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: our control. Nothing seemed to make a difference. Can we
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: take back an arranged marriage at this point?
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I would.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Can you? Is that against the rulebook? Because in India,
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: I know it's hard to get divorced.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: But, like, we haven't gotten married just yet. Like, we're
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: right there at the finish line. So.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: What hurt me the most was that throughout all of this,
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: I felt like there was very little empathy shown towards
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: my parents, who had been running around all day trying
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: to fix problems they hadn't created. My fiance wasn't rude
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: to me, but I also didn't feel like he really
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: stood up for my family during the situation. Opie says,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: after thinking about everything, I decided to end the engagement
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: and blocked him and his family.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Rain, rain, go away, take away my ex-fiance's family away.
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: Yay!
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: So you can do that.
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: I feel like that was the best for everyone. I
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: feel like your mom, your dad, they're like, yeah, we
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: are not against that idea, honestly. Just do it.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: So I know the venue problems were real, and I
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: understand they had reasons to be upset, but I couldn't
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: stop thinking that if this is how they react to
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: one unexpected crisis before we're even married, what would happen
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: after marriage when bigger problems inevitably come up? So now
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: I have blocked the guy from all platforms as his
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: mother was very rude to everyone in my family. She
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: was also shouting about the entire venue. saying, how could
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: you say anything about my younger son? And said, I
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: am highlighted as Tez. Tez.
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: Tez.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: Highlighted as Tez. That is probably an offensive thing, she
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: said to you. What does Tez mean? The word Tez
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: can have different meanings depending on the language. In Persian
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: and Urdu, it means fast, sharp, or bright. While in Turkish,
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: it means quick or agile. In Hebrew... It would link
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: to the meaning to lift up. So I'm thinking in Urdu,
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: it means fast or sharp. Highlighted as Tez, she's probably
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: saying she's a quick woman.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: on to the next one.
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend offered my house to his friend without even
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: asking me. That's a surprise move. I, 26 female, own
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: a house and my boyfriend, 23 male, lives with me.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: I don't ask him to pay anything to live there.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: I should, but I'm financially stable enough to do it
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: on my own. Now our friend is undergoing construction in
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: their home and my boyfriend volunteered them to move in
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: with us without asking me first. I said, yeah, that's fine,
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: but I'm going to charge him $ 250 for him to
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: stay with us per month. That will be for an
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: extra cable box I will need to get $ 25 per month.
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: the water, electricity, etc. He's staying until November and I
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: think it's completely fair. My boyfriend said no, we shouldn't
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: be charging him anything because he needs a place to
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: stay and he wouldn't expect to pay anything if roles reversed.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: I've expressed how I'm not okay with this, but there's
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: no reasoning. So Reddit, I've come to you. Am I
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: being unreasonable for wanting to charge living expenses for two months?
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: Or should I give up the battle?
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Edit.
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: Holy crap.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: Inbox. I've totally realized I need to grow an effing
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: backbone and stand up for myself. And this behavior is
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: not acceptable. I am going to draft up a rental
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: agreement for both parties. By the way, this comes from
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: Kay Sawyer. And if you want to see my own stories,
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: you know where to go. I'm Riley.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: I'm Matt.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: We're going to read this goofily like we already are.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: If you have anything you'd like to add, please add
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: down below.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: Edit.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: You guys, I was just told this person is moving
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: in tomorrow. I am leaving work right now to go
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: home and talk to my boyfriend. I'm so irate right now.
• 46:33
  Speaker 2: I will update in a few hours. Comments. Mash2 says,
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: I am... being unreasonable for wanting to charge living expenses
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: for two months?
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: No.
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: It would be one thing if your boyfriend owned the
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: house with you. As it is, he offered up your
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: property as if he owns it himself. Let's see the
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: lease agreement. I want to see his name on it.
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: Tomorrow they're coming in? That's just insanity.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: Obie says, that's kind of what I was thinking. I'm
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: not asking a lot of money, but I'm assuming the
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: bills and living expenses will go up for the next
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: few months with an additional person living here. Jinxyjrpyjrp says,
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: how old is your boyfriend? I ask because if they're
• 47:14
  Speaker 2: both 23, your place is about to become a frat
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: house and you'll be the chaperone. Oh, who is also
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: going to be on the hook for any and all damages?
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: I'd say 250 bucks is effing charity. Your boyfriend best
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: stop threatening you like what's yours is his and kiss
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: your butt for providing a roof over his head. That's
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: your right. You're the provider. Opie says his friend is 27.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: His friend also owns a house. He's going through construction.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: I get that. But like if they were married, different story.
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: They're not.
• 47:43
  Speaker 4: I feel like the friend owning a house should be like, hey,
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: I feel bad, like just taking advantage of it. Let
• 47:49
  Speaker 4: me pay you at least a little bit like as
• 47:51
  Speaker 4: a responsible homeowner and friend, like I'd don't want to
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: put you out for helping me. Because then that makes
• 47:59
  Speaker 4: me a bad person and makes, if I need help
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: in the future, you're not going to want to help me.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Goats is my copilot says, grow a spine girl and
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: tell your boyfriend his friend cannot live in your house
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: and neither can he until he contributes a little bit.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: Does he even have a job? Does he do stuff
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: around the house? Why are you fine with this arrangement?
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: We're getting some answers here. This is what I've wanted.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: OP says, he does have a job. and helps around
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: the house when I ask. Things like handiwork and mowing, etc.
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: I'm just in different about it. I've brought it up before,
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: like I would like an extra little help, but he
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: says that he cannot afford it too.
• 48:36
  Speaker 4: Brother, you're living there rent-free and you have a job. Like,
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: you're not saving anything?
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: You're not putting any bit away? You don't pay any bills?
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Like.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: Yep, I'm right there beside you, buddy.
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: At this point, girl, scrap the boyfriend. Get a new one.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: You could find another one very easily. I mean, like,
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: we'd be very grateful for this opportunity, but we're taken.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, we would be.
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: But, like, get someone who knows the value of cheap
• 48:59
  Speaker 4: rent in this economy.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: Panda Jink says, how long have you and your boyfriend
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: been living together slash dating? and he feels no need
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: to chip in. Opie says we've been together for four
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: years now. Update three days later. Four years together, Matt.
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: How long have you been with your partner?
• 49:13
  Speaker 4: Uh, it's going to be two years going on September 3rd,
• 49:16
  Speaker 4: which is nine, three. Cause nine is divisible by three
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: as stated by Bob's burgers. That's why we chose it.
• 49:21
  Speaker 4: But even like, we've only been dating for this long.
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: And like, not yet. We're, we're hoping to sometime in
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: hopefully December, but like when that happens, like Yeah, I
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: don't think we'll be paying quite 50-50 just yet. But
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: she knows that she's contributing. I know that I'm going
• 49:36
  Speaker 4: to contribute. And that way we both feel like we're
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: invested in our relationship. We're invested in the place we live.
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: He doesn't pay for the house. He's not going to
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: pay for the bills. He's not going to pay for damages.
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: So he's got no investment in keeping the place nice.
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: He's also 23. He just got out of college. That's
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: just out of college age.
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: That's frat house life. Like they said, that's frat life.
• 49:55
  Speaker 4: I've been to frat houses. They're not clean. They're very sticky.
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, sticky. Update three days later. So when I left
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: you all a couple of days ago, I was on
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: my way home to talk with my boyfriend due to
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: the fact I just found out that his friend was
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: moving in the next day. Well, excuse my language, but
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: crap the fan. I probably didn't react as calmly as
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: I should have, but my emotions were running pretty high
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: that day. When I originally made the post, I wasn't
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: aware of what was really going on. With my relationship,
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: you all had opened my eyes and made me realize
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: that I was getting taken advantage of financially and And emotionally.
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: I did get a little hint of the emotional stuff.
• 50:39
  Speaker 4: I wonder why he's so adamant about them staying there
• 50:42
  Speaker 4: for free. I think, is there something that OP doesn't
• 50:44
  Speaker 4: know is going on? Like, is there some cheating there?
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: Is there some maybe, you know. Both dudes.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: Does he have a beard?
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: Are you the beard?
• 50:52
  Speaker 4: Or, like, are they doing, like, some backhanded, like, side
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: hustles that it'd be easier if they were working together
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: in the same.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: Holy, you have so many conspiracies here. This guy's mischievous
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: in your eyes. He's no good man.
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: Look, he's pushing too hard for this. He's pushing for it.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: He's cutting costs. Yeah, no, no, you're right.
• 51:09
  Speaker 4: Look, like 250 is not a lot, but it's income
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: into the household that they could use. Like, who are
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: you to deny $ 250? But also like, no, they're staying
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: with us in a discussion. No, they're not paying any rent. No,
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: they're going tomorrow. Man is trying to streamline his business.
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Good point. I let my boyfriend know that it wasn't
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: fair for me to foot the bill for the mortgage
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: and utilities by myself. We're in a partnership. He got very,
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: very angry that I would accuse him of using me
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: for money and being a freeloader. I asked him if
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: he thought that was fair to me. And I put
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: myself in his shoes. I laid out what I paid
• 51:45
  Speaker 2: for a month for all the bills, which is kind
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: of shocking that I'm able to do this all by myself.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: He lost it and asked why I was even with
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: him if I thought all of this stuff about him.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: And then he left. Can't have an actual adult conversation.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: He is 23. He's... basically grown out of teenage years.
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: He's out into the world for the very first time
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: and surprise, it's hard out there. But also like, brother,
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: you locked into a golden opportunity.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: He's too young to know that. He just came out
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: of his parents' house. He's been in college for a while.
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: He went from parents' house to girlfriend's house. Parents' house
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: to college dorm to girlfriend's house. That's my assumption. He
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: knows no better. He doesn't think he has to pay
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: for where he lives.
• 52:22
  Speaker 4: Oh, it's going to be a cruel, cruel awakening when
• 52:24
  Speaker 4: he gets that first rent payment.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: I received a text from him last night, Sunday, stating
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: how sorry he was and how he would start helping
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: me out. Someone kicked him in the arse.
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: I don't trust him.
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: I told him that he needs to prove to me
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: that he will actually follow through. I am not just
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: going to forgive him and have things go back to
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: the way they were. So I'm not sure if that's
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: the update y'all all were looking for. but I did
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: stand up for myself and that felt great. Thank you
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: all for the words of encouragement. I could have not
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: done it without a little nudge from Reddit.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: Edit.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: A lot of you are asking about his financial state.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: We're making the same amount of money, which isn't a
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: whole lot, but he does have a good.
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: And he's not paying for the house.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: You're paying mortgage, electrical bill, the water bill, the state
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: tax for your house, property tax, insurance, Wi-Fi, cable. I
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: just listed eight things. Repairs. You probably have your own car,
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: your own car insurance. Eleven things right there.
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: Also, like if there's an HOA homeowners, like HOA fees,
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: those are expensive.
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: It's like, and you're doing all that on your end
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: and he can't help with a third.
• 53:35
  Speaker 4: Also, what happened with the people staying over? Is that
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: really the end of it?
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: I think she's shut it down or said it's either
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: this or not. That's my assumption. I might go check
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: for an update after this, but comments. I'm the Dan says,
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: were you happy? You could have calmly talked to him
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: about paying his share. Obie says, just to clarify, I
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: did not break up with him. We've been together for
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: four years. However, I realize our current living situation is
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: not fair. I told him that I would like a
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: little help in our partnership financially for the bills. He
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: said he would, but I'd like to see some sort
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: of commitment to this promise before I let him move
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: back in.
• 54:11
  Speaker 4: I like it. This is good.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Rob Waddle says, what's going on with the friend? Is
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: he going to live there too now? Opie says, no.
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: As of right now, friend has worked out another arrangement.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: Although the friend did reach out to me. and said
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: he would be more than happy to foot the bill
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: while he lives there, I said I need some time
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: right now before jumping into this situation. OP, you got
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: the backbone. I'm so proud of you.
• 54:36
  Speaker 4: For the friends aspect, like, did you, one, did the
• 54:38
  Speaker 4: friend know that it wasn't the boyfriend's house? Two, why
• 54:41
  Speaker 4: didn't you just, like, reach out to OP directly and say, hey, look, like,
• 54:45
  Speaker 4: I would feel, I think I should just pay you
• 54:47
  Speaker 4: for the rent. Like, yeah, free rent is nice, but
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: as someone's friend, I don't ever want to be a freeloader,
• 54:53
  Speaker 4: you know?
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one. Hey, it's Keon, the
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: silliest goose. We're going to get back to the stories,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 55:04
  Speaker 4: I confronted my boyfriend about his resentment and he dropped
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: a shell.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: Oh God, how bad is this one?
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: So I, 30 female, met my boyfriend, 28 male, a
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: school teacher, six years ago while I was still a
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: med student. He helped me during my difficult years of
• 55:19
  Speaker 4: my residency and And we had what I thought was
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: a solid relationship. We have similar interests in movies, music,
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: board games. We had some arguments, but they were always
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: resolved through talking. We always have fun together. Now that
• 55:31
  Speaker 4: I had finally finished residency and landed a solid job,
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: we even started looking for a place to move together.
• 55:37
  Speaker 4: The thing is, now that I can finally feel that
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: we can start truly enjoying things with a more stable
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: financial situation... And with me having more free time, he
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: seems to resent me? I don't really understand. It started
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: innocent enough with him making some slight remarks about me
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: now being a fancy doctor. when I bought some new,
• 55:56
  Speaker 4: better quality and professional clothes. But the remarks never seemed
• 55:59
  Speaker 4: to stop. We went to a holiday together. I booked
• 56:02
  Speaker 4: a better hotel room than usually because now I can
• 56:05
  Speaker 4: afford one and was very excited about it. And he
• 56:08
  Speaker 4: told me I was showing off my new doctor money.
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: I paid for his entrance ticket to a concert to
• 56:14
  Speaker 4: a band we both like. He told me he would
• 56:16
  Speaker 4: prefer we had gone to a local bar. I pay
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: for dinner at a restaurant we always talked about trying
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: in the future. He complains about the size of the portions. Yesterday,
• 56:25
  Speaker 4: I gave him a new shirt. He told me, of course,
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: now I have to be better dressed to be with you.
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from throwra7million1. And if you
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories just like this, go
• 56:37
  Speaker 4: to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I am Matt.
• 56:40
  Speaker 2: I'm Riley.
• 56:41
  Speaker 4: And we're here to be very goofy and give you advice,
• 56:43
  Speaker 4: but not always having the right answers. We just do
• 56:45
  Speaker 4: the best we can. We let you know what we
• 56:47
  Speaker 4: would do and what we think, and we'll see what
• 56:49
  Speaker 4: OP does next. I told him this phrase hurt me,
• 56:52
  Speaker 4: and he told me he was just joking.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. If we took a shit today for
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: every time we heard this, I'd be.
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: As soon as you get caught.
• 57:01
  Speaker 2: I was just joking.
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: Okay, well, explain to me how was it funny? Tell
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: me like I'm five, comedian.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Let's see.
• 57:05
  Speaker 4: Let's see what's funny about this.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: Where's the punchline?
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: Give me.
• 57:09
  Speaker 4: Give me the structure of the joke. To which I said,
• 57:11
  Speaker 4: the jokes are supposed to be funny and not hurtful.
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: And he accused me of being too sensitive. I left
• 57:17
  Speaker 4: short after because he refused to talk more about it.
• 57:20
  Speaker 4: I simply do not understand this man. I paid for
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: this thing for him because I wanted to enjoy them
• 57:25
  Speaker 4: with him. And since I can afford them and he can't,
• 57:28
  Speaker 4: it seemed obvious that I could just pay for his part.
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: Gift giving is one of my love languages. specifically if
• 57:34
  Speaker 4: this gift is an experience we can have together. Look,
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: I am fully with you on that, OP. I am
• 57:38
  Speaker 4: absolutely a gift giver. A lot of the time it
• 57:40
  Speaker 4: is pride though. Like me and my girlfriend are both
• 57:43
  Speaker 4: gift givers. And I think sometimes I maybe overwhelm her
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: a little bit too much, but she's kind of learned
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: to just accept that I'm going to do this because
• 57:51
  Speaker 4: I'm not trying to like overwhelm her or shame her
• 57:54
  Speaker 4: or anything. Like I just, I saw this. I want
• 57:57
  Speaker 4: you to have it, have it as a gift of
• 57:59
  Speaker 4: my love. It's that simple. But some people like it's
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: a pride thing.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: Like Yeah, I could see that.
• 58:05
  Speaker 4: I know for charity and a lot of charities in
• 58:07
  Speaker 4: third world countries, they won't accept it if you just
• 58:10
  Speaker 4: give it to them. So that's why you have to
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: either gamify it for them so that they feel like
• 58:15
  Speaker 4: they've earned it or make them pay for a little
• 58:17
  Speaker 4: bit just to preserve their dignity. There are some charities
• 58:20
  Speaker 4: out here where they won't give things out to the
• 58:22
  Speaker 4: minimal cost, like a couple dollars, like $ 5, $ 10 to
• 58:25
  Speaker 4: go shopping for groceries. And that way it preserves their dignity.
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: It doesn't feel like they're accepting a handout. but you
• 58:30
  Speaker 4: are still giving them more than that.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: $ 5 is worth.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: The poor friend doesn't need that, though.
• 58:34
  Speaker 4: No, he doesn't. He's just being a little baby. When
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: we started our relationship, it was clear I would be
• 58:39
  Speaker 4: earning more than him someday, me being, at the time,
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: a future medical doctor, and school teachers have profoundly unfair
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: low salaries. He even talked about being a stay-at-home dad.
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: I'm profoundly confused by his current behavior. It seems clear
• 58:52
  Speaker 4: that he resents me and refuses to talk about it.
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: At the same time, we've been together for six years.
• 58:58
  Speaker 4: I love him dearly, and I'm hoping it's just a phase.
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: Any advice on how to deal with this? There are
• 59:03
  Speaker 4: a few relevant comments, but what are your relevant comments, Riley?
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Nothing you can do. He needs to reflect and understand
• 59:08
  Speaker 2: what he has.
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: Just wild.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: Like I have talked to women who say, I don't,
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: I am weary with the guys I date. Because guys
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: don't like it when I make more than them. To me,
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: I come from a place where most men are the breadwinners.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: Don't really care if she's making money. Dude, I would
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: love to be a stay-at-home dad. I cannot resonate with
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: these guys.
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: No.
• 59:28
  Speaker 2: It's hard to.
• 59:29
  Speaker 4: It's also like the fact that he was planning on
• 59:31
  Speaker 4: being a stay-at-home dad maybe at one point, and he
• 59:33
  Speaker 4: now can't handle the fact that she's buying things for him. Like,
• 59:36
  Speaker 4: what money would you be buying these things if you
• 59:38
  Speaker 4: were a stay-at-home dad, sir? You know you don't get
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: paid for being a stay-at-home dad, right?
• 59:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:42
  Speaker 4: You can't bill somebody for your hours. Like, bill your children. Here,
• 59:47
  Speaker 4: you cared for me for this long.
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: On the flip side, though, if you are a stay-at-home
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: dad and the wife's making a lot, you may think, oh,
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: everyone else is accomplishing these things in their careers.
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: Right, yeah, yeah.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: But that's why you have a side hobby or somewhere
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: where you can express those things so you can still
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: feel like, oh, I'm getting some stuff done.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I see how a lot of men might think
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 4: it's emasculating, but also, like, your kids will thank you
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 4: for this and you'll find other returns and validation, I think.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: you'll get to be there with your kids.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: Exactly.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 4: I feel like that's like a great trade-off. Anyway, relevant
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 4: comments from DaFonz. Why are you making this about money
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 4: when the real problem is that he doesn't respect you?
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 4: OP says, I didn't look at that from this perspective.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 4: At the moment, all I can think is that a
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 4: man that was with me through my bad days seems
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 4: to resent me during my good days, and I don't
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: know why. Update from three days later. The next day,
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: I sent him a message stating that we need to
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 4: have a conversation about about what happened. I went to
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 4: his house and told him I was hurt by his
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 4: comments and specifically by his dismissal of my feelings after.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 4: I said, I understand that the recent shift of dynamics
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 4: on our relationship could be hard to deal with, but
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 4: that I loved him and I was really happy about
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 4: finally being able to buy and do things we spoke
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 4: about in the past and wanted to share this with him.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 4: He apologized for his behavior and told me he was
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 4: feeling insecure and lashing out because of that. I thought
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 4: the conversation was going very well and things will be better.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 4: Then he dropped the bomb. Riley, what do you think
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 4: the is?
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: I've been cheating on you. No, that's too predictable.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know, that's what comes to my head. He's
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: been cheating.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 4: He cheated with another teacher from his school. He explained
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 4: that the guilt over this was also making him behave strangely.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 4: He told me he was feeling less worth and another
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 4: woman wanting him helped him feel better, helped his self-esteem.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 4: It was just one time and it was a mistake
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 4: that he loved me and wanted to be better. I
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 4: just stood there. I didn't even know how to react.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 4: Cheating is a deal breaker for me and I told
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 4: him this at the beginning of our relationship. I thought
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 4: he understood that. I thought he was the one. I
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 4: think he noticed my initial lack of reaction. because he
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 4: implored me to say something. In the end, I just
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 4: thanked him for his sincerity and told him we were over.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: As you should. Simple as that.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 4: You gave him the one rule. Yeah. Couldn't do that.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 4: He started crying and begging for forgiveness, telling me I
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: was the love of his life and other things that,
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 4: to be truthful, I didn't really pay attention to because
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 4: all I wanted at the moment was to leave his
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: house and never see him again. I moved to the
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 4: door and he tried to block me. That was when
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: I got angry. I don't remember exactly what I said,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 4: but I made it clear I would not tolerate cheating.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: And he broke my trust, so that was it. I
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 4: was breaking up with him.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: The end.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 4: I was so angry, I was shaking. And I'm proud
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 4: that I managed to control myself enough not to yell.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 4: I just wanted to be clear with my intentions. There
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 4: is another relevant update, but, um... It makes all of
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 4: this crystal clear. Why he was saying those things. How
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 4: he was going about it.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: It's a tough thing.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 4: In the end, I think he was just a small
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 4: man who couldn't handle not being the provider.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 4: And didn't feel like... Couldn't handle all that. He couldn't
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 4: handle a good thing. It had to be like, I'm
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 4: the man. I got to do all the work.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: No, you don't. Dude, sometimes you won.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: Just accept that you won.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Accept it.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 4: Good things can happen to you without you having to
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 4: bust your butt working for them, you know?
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: He throws us wild. Get me out of here, Matt.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: All right, let's take it home. Let's take it home.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: So that was it.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 4: He wouldn't stop messaging with the excuses and with the angriness.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: But the final straw was a text saying how I
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 4: was throwing away a six year relationship over a mistake.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, brother, you're a less than a minute mistake.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's a burn. Also, brother, you threw it away.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 4: I told him that he was the one who threw
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 4: away the relationship and that I would be mailing him
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: his things. Mailing. Oh, that's cold. He can't even come
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: and get them. He's got to mail it.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 2: It's cold.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: Then I blocked him.
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 4: I'll now have to search for a place to take
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 4: some tests that have different staff from the ones from
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: my hospital. I don't want gossip about me. I have
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 4: to take some time for me. And then I guess
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 4: I'll be back at the dating market at 30. That'll
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 4: be fun.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: Sigh.
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 4: Honestly, no, 30 is not that bad. Depending on honestly,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 4: what your country and the norms like.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 4: 30 is not bad. Like a lot of people, especially
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 4: after it happened, like the 30s became the new 20s.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 4: And a lot of people are like dating in their 30s.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: Like my girlfriend was 30 when we got together. Well, 31,
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 4: she was 31 and I was 29. So we were
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 4: right about that age. So it's like, it's not.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: How does it feel dating a cougar?
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: It's kind of great, actually. There's no pressure.
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: I used to date one. She was two years older
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: than me.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: That's not even that bad. Like two years is not,
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 4: is nothing.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it didn't work out.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: It's okay.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 4: But it's like, there's like.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 2: No, I'm happy now. I'm with my girlfriend.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: I'm the cougar.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 4: But yeah, it's just, it's not a bad thing, you know?
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 4: And continuing, sorry for the lack of a happy ending,
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 4: but I suppose that's life. The top comment, dude could
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 4: have had a nice cushy life and he fumbled it.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 4: At least OP is free to find someone who appreciates
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 4: her in her career now. And we appreciate you sticking
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: with us because that was the end of that story.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: These people are crazy. You don't know what you have.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: It's so common for people. I thought usually this is
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 4: like a fiction thing, but it's like the character throws
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 4: away happiness. Like they don't allow themselves to be happy.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 4: Wild insanity.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story.