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223. The Simple Game Changing Goals You Should Implement In Your Marriage For 2024! · The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Here are the New Year's goals that you should implement in your marriage for 2024.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, and in this episode we are going to give you the top five goals that you absolutely should implement in your marriage for the year and beyond to transform your relationship.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: And they should be non-negotiable.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I think these should be very, very.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: What's the word I'm looking for?
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know Can't read your mind Very much, like we are doing these this year.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: We are not going to fail at these goals.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: We're writing these on the calendar, the first of every month, kind of thing.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Well, so many couples, including ourselves, I mean.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: We all set goals every year, right, Most people do and most people fail.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: But I think a lot of the reasons why so many of us fail are goals that we have is because our goals are our personal goals and a lot of times there's no accountability.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: So the goals we're going to talk about today are goals that you're going to set as a couple and be accountable to each other.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: We're also going to provide a workbook or a goal sheet that will help you be accountable for these goals and help you keep track of how you're doing and also, I guess, customize it to fit your needs and your goals.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: But pretty much.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Print it out.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Write it out together spend 10 minutes on a date night or at night and then go hang it on your ding fridge.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and these goals are going to be the goals that all of us should implement in 2024 and beyond, of course, and every other year, yes, and so, yeah, if you have personal goals and other things you want to do, that's great, but as a couple, these are the things that you're going to want to implement to transform your relationship this year.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: And if you don't want to transform it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Don't do it.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Don't do it.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: We're here to all change our marriages, us included.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Make it better every year.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: If it wasn't so great this year, you can make it better.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: If it was amazing this year, you can make it better.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: And these are five things that truly should be pretty.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: They aren't going to cost money, they aren't going to take much time, but these are truly things that really will transform your relationship.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: So let's dive in.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: Well, one of them might cost money, depending on how hyping it's your.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: So number one goal you should implement for 2024 is limit your screen time and social media use.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, this should be number one two, three, four and five, because if you do this one, it's going to affect two, three, four and five and we all.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I don't care who you are, we are all attached to those little phones.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: I literally ran somewhere this morning and went to get in my purse and my phone was not in my purse and I, not gonna lie, I had a freak out moment.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, where is it, where could it been?
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Did I leave it at home?
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: And I had a little freak out panic moment cause, like my driver's license, my debit card, I just am like, oh my gosh, can you imagine my phone's backed up?
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: But I'm like that would still be a nightmare, right.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize how attached I was to it.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Like to panic that hard for five seconds, do you know?
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: what I mean.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: It wasn't in my back.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: So I just feel like, whether it's screen time, you're addicted to just having your phone constantly in your hand or your pocket.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: We're all guilty of that.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Or social media addiction.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: There's just so many.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, there's positive aspects, but there's so many negative aspects and addictions that we're all, some of us, aren't even realizing.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Well, and I think this has moved up the list to number one for me as well, because we're reading a book right now about social media that one of our great friends or affiliates that we work with is writing.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: We're actually gonna have a podcast on that in the next 30 to 60 days, so stay tuned for that when his book releases.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: But it is amazing to hear the statistics and the things that he's found out and learned about social media.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: And so it's even more important to limit your social media use and put boundaries and that's gonna look different for every couple, but you need to figure out what works best for you, because what works best for you might not work best for Amy and I or another couple.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: But sit down, set some boundaries, have an understanding of how you're gonna limit the social media use and screen time in your relationship.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: And when I say social media use, like it's amazing how many people are writing us on a daily basis saying my husband or my wife is so addicted to their device and it's affecting this, this, this in our relationship.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Or my wife all she does is looks on social media and sees how everyone else's life is and it makes her really depressed, or I mean we could share thousands of experiences that we get all the time, but my point is is find out what is causing the disruption in your relationship in regards to social media and screen time.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: Sit down, put boundaries on that, and this one thing alone, like Amy said, is gonna be a game changer for your marriage.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Well, I know I've already shared this before, but I did a post once that said there's 10,000 minutes in your week, right, 10,000 minutes in your week.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And I've got all these people writing us saying I don't have time to connect 30 minutes at night, or I don't have time to make love, I'm tired or I don't have to.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: But it's amazing how we're prioritizing so many things above our spouses, right, and how crazy that we can have.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, what was that?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: There's 10,000 minutes in a week.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, did I mess that up?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: In a week.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, nick's gonna recalculate.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's a thousand, maybe I'm like super, are you sure?
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna do some live.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: We're gonna do some live math here, just to make sure, okay, you do it while I keep talking.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: So you have 60 minutes in an hour, right Ha ha ha Times 24.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: 24.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Times seven 840.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Sorry, thousand Ha ha, ha, we were close.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Maybe I meant seconds.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: Nah, I'm not gonna do this Ha ha ha.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Apparently, I need to work on my math this year Anyways or maybe my calculator is broken you have a lot of freaking time in your week.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: You have a lot of minutes, whatever it is.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Ha ha ha.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: You have a lot of minutes in your week to.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: You can make 20 minutes a day to connect with your spouse, Like okay, the whole point going back to the screen time is if you go look at your screen time every day, you're like, oh, I had an hour.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Some people have four hours, some people have even more than that.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Like, whatever your screen time is, compare that to how many minutes you're putting into your marriage.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: Like I can guarantee that you're putting 10 times the amount into your screen that you are the marriage.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Just look at that.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Like it's a great goal to be.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Like I'm gonna go look at my screen time on my phone, find out what it is per day, and how does that compare to what I'm putting into my marriage.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I promise you that that will hit you deep.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: And we're not saying get rid of it.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: We're just saying sit down as a couple and say, okay, how much time are we gonna spend on this?
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: What are we gonna look at?
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: And just have a better outline so that you're not wasting so much time, You're not looking at things you shouldn't and you're managing it correctly.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: So Absolutely.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: The second thing you absolutely need to implement is date nights.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Now, we're not just talking about necessarily just going out on a date, although for many of you that would be a start right.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: If you're not having date night and all you did is just go out on a date, that's gonna be huge and if that's all you can do, that's all you can do.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: But put better thought into your date night, plan it out, actually put forth an effort and do things that you're both gonna have fun and enjoy.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, amy, hold on 10,000, 80s.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Amy was right on, she just put it in there.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: You do not know how to do math, you're right.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to do math.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: It is 10,080 minutes in a week.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm glad you corrected me.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Okay, it's, my calculator was not.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: I just typed it in Google this time instead of getting the calculator out.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: See how addicted we are to our phones.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I'm like I can't even do that math in my head, real time correction.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: So anyways, date night yes.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, have date night, put some effort and planning into it and really use that time to enjoy each other.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: That's a time when you're gonna go out and be able to really connect emotionally as well, as you're talking about.
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: You know whatever you're talking about.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: This is where I get held up on date nights, because we all think and we talk about all time, so I don't wanna like say the same things that we all talk about.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, date night changed our life.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Date night doesn't have to mean going out.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: What we're really talking about is intentional time.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Let's call it intentional night, right.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: It really doesn't have to be.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, a date is about being intentional.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: So if you didn't listen to our recent podcast on naked games to play in your marriage, we're talking like normal games.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Go listen to the podcast, because it's like taking just a regular border card game and just making it more sexy the two of you after your kids are asleep, and that really just comes down to hey, let's do something fun tonight, let's connect tonight, and that's what date night should be about.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: And, yeah, it ends up in love making.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: That's amazing, but really it's about wanting to be together and what makes it so intentional is being like.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: You know out of our whole calendar this week, this is the night.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: It's all about you and it's all about me and having that mindset that we need a night every single week.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: That is all about you and me.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Nobody else, not the kids, not gonna talk about the kids.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: This is about our romantic intimate relationship night.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: That's what it's all about.
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we've written an article.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: We've also had a podcast previously about how date night literally changed our marriage and it can change yours as well.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: So again, if you're not having date night, just at least start having date night.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Even if it's just the simple things, that'll mean a lot to your spouse.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: And it will change your marriage.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: It will change your marriage.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I know that sounds stupid, but if you're not doing a weekly intentional night together, that can drastically improve your marriage.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: The third thing is make sexual intimacy a priority.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: We would, you know, at least once or twice a week, right, Find out what works for your marriage and for each other and make that a priority.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: You've heard us talk about scheduling sex.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: If you have to, if you absolutely are saying we can't find the time or it gets pushed back and it becomes the least important thing, try scheduling it.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: And again, that doesn't mean saying at seven or five we're gonna make love, Like just say you know what, this night is the easiest night and this is the night we're gonna plan to make love.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: It's not that hard, and connecting intimately is so important.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: And so many wives roll their eyeballs when you're like, maybe start with sex.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I'm I know that's like opposite of what we usually say, but if your relationship's already in a healthy place, like you're already being respected, there's kindness, there's love in your marriage, even if you're not like feeling like so romantic and like all over each other, like it's coming.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: If you're just kind of blah, you're in even good marriage but it's just kind of feeling a little stale, maybe try starting, jump starting it with sex.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Like sometimes that works, because a lot of men have admitted that.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: You know, if sex was more prioritized in my marriage, I would be more romantic, I would be emotionally, more emotionally connected to my wife.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: I would.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I would step it up in the connecting area of marriage, you know.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: So sometimes we're waiting on each other to do these things and all it takes is one person being like you know, I'm gonna give in, let's just go make mad, passionate love tonight.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden the husband's like I'm feeling so flip and loved, this is so great.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: In fact, amy had a message not too long ago where a spouse was feeling like you know had had an issue and said what do I do?
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: And Amy said go, you know, go make love to your husband and I think it'll fix this issue.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: And it did and it was feeling super in love and he was.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: He was playing the withdrawal game also.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: She came back and she said wow, I like that, that worked.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: That literally worked, that literally worked and all of a sudden then her needs were being met.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: And a lot of times I think we've talked about this, this toxic relationship or this battle where we feel like, oh, if the husband isn't giving enough emotional intimacy, then the wife cuts him off sexually, right?
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: So, like Amy said, just if you feel like there's kind of out of balance there, just go do it.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: Just go do it and connect sexually and I think you'll see the emotional connection improve as well.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: It took me a lot of years to learn that.
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: But like when I feel like there's not like distance between us in our marriage, but just even like we're just not quite on the same page.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll just initiate and then all of a sudden it's like your entire mindset turns to how can I romance you?
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: What can I do for you?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Like I'm so grateful that you just totally.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, I'm in a lot of switch right, it's like the love switch for a lot of men.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna call it that.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: It's the love switch for men for a lot of husbands that have a high drive.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: So flip that switch once in a while and just make that more of a priority and watch.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, we're talking about transforming things for your marriage, right?
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we have to do things that are natural for us, aren't exciting for us or don't sound amazing.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: But then you flip that switch and you're like, okay, I'm just going to do it and see if that changes everything and it does the love switch.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Copyright.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: I like that, that's awesome.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: That's very cool.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: It's totally true.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, I were driving to the store the other day and we were talking about this one as well and how important we think this one is.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: The next one is create a vision board, and we're saying important because it's a great it's, I think it's life changing, but we have not done it on paper, we've only done it in our minds.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: But we are going to do it on paper.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: We are going to do this.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: One but a vision board.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: So we were just talking and we're like.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: You know, in so many things in life you put a plan together as to how you're going to accomplish it right, and you know if you're putting a business together, you write a business plan and do certain things and how are you going to accomplish it, and you know our life should be no different If you put a vision board together.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Well, let me back up.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: It's amazing how many people like don't spend time talking about, like, what they want when they retire, or how to get to retirement or what they want to accomplish in life or things like that.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: But putting a vision board together as a couple and literally sitting down and saying what do we want to accomplish?
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Where do we want to be?
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Maybe we want to have a second home here, or maybe we want to get a first home, or we want to travel, or whatever that goal is, put that goal in front of you in something that you can see as a couple every single day, to motivate you to continue to accomplish and have that desire to, I guess, accomplish what you have on that vision board right.
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: Well, I think a lot of the reasons why so many people fail at their goals is because they set goals in their mind, like me and I'm a fail, I'm big at failing like New Year's resolutions, like I'm really good at, like, implementing a bunch of my mind, like I'm going to do this, I'm going to quit doing this, I'm going to do better at this, and then by February, I'm one of those person, people that, like, have dropped half of those and I truly, truly believe that.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, number one maybe I said I'm too unrealistic but I don't write them down.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: And and sometimes I write them down but I don't hang them up.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: And there's something about Creating visuals for human beings, literally, that keep you on track, because the days that I have, like my to-do list, I'm a to-do list kind of person.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Some people are opposite.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: That's fine, but I accomplish more when it's written down on a piece of paper.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I'm a totally new person, so like I wake up in the morning or the night before and I write a list of all the things I have to do that day.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I start checking mom about checking them up and I get super motivated and they start getting done super fast.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: But the days that I wake up and I don't have my list I kind of feel like my day it's just a little scattered.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: It's a little scattered or maybe not as accomplished.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: I go to bed not feeling super accomplished that day, which is fine there.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: We all have good days, bad days.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: But, like, I think there's something about a vision board where you create a vision of Maybe what your month looks like, maybe what your year looks like, maybe what your whole entire future looks like.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: So pick, okay, do we want to concentrate for our marriage?
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Do we want to focus on this just this next year?
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: Do we want to make this vision board for the next five years?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: And a lot of vision boards will have those different sections where it's like a long-term goal, a one-year goal.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: You know, however you want to make it, but anyways, there's just something about Creating that, putting it in front of you, hanging it up.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: We're working on it together and then, like you said, working and I think being accountable to each other, right, like, if you're saving, let's say you're saving for something, right?
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: You're gonna be accountable to each other for what you're spending and and how you're working together like one.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: Hopefully one spouse isn't out spending a waste in a ton of money while the other spouse is trying to save right and figure out that game plan together.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: And maybe you need to do it.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: If you're not savers, maybe you need to get rid of debit cards, you know, need to go to a cash envelope system.
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: We've heard that works for some people that have a hard time saving, like, and that's where those little tiny goals come in.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: How are we gonna accomplish this and really sit down and talk about it?
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I think?
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I think it's really important.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, I think it's really important and Amy and I are gonna do all these things as well.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: I mean, these are things that we're gonna definitely Some pretty we have some pretty big goals for the business this year, like really big goals, and I feel like the only way we're gonna be able to accomplish them is to make monthly and weekly goals To be able to accomplish those.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just chip, chip a little bit off by little yep, and the final one is have weekly marriage meetings.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: Now, this sounds really boring, but it really can be a great thing.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: No, this is not boring at all.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: This you can make it super fun.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: You could even like Bring some treats to this.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: You can even be like it's gonna be naked game night if we accomplish this meeting the first.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: I like it.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Did I say boring I?
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: there's a reward at the end of this weekly meeting.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: I say boring, I didn't mean boring, I meant that could be amazing if someone in the family thinks it's boring, figure out how to make it not Boring.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: Make it a naked meeting, nick.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Oh well, I'm not gonna argue with that.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I could do that, Okay.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: So a weekly marriage meeting, that that meeting that sounds so boring, that would be a very short meeting.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: If.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: If we had naked meeting night, I'd be.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, it'd be a pretty quick meeting, oh you'd stay awake.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, I would totally stay awake, absolutely.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: So what is entailed in a weekly marriage meeting?
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Let us tell you.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: Well, I think you talk about number one.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: Going back to the, the vision board, you know how are you doing on progressing towards your goals together.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: Have those conversations Are we doing a good job or there are things we could do better on, you know?
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I think that the weekly marriage meeting could actually it could be like over the top to where it stresses you out and you don't want to do it.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I think it comes down to simplifying.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: I I really think it needs to come down to how are you feeling about our relationship this week, what can I do to speak your love language better this week, and how can we do better this week at making more time for each other?
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I think it can really be that simple.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, and just having those conversations around those things, those things, Because if each spouse is like you know what, I would really appreciate it if you could just help me out more in the kitchen in the evenings.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's something simple like that, you know.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Well, instead of looking at like oh, like a work meeting, like, oh, not another meeting, you should be saying oh, another meeting.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Another meeting, another meeting.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: I can't wait.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: Well, if you love your spouse, you want to know exactly how you can approve because you love your spouse, right, and vice versa.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and obviously every couple is different, so you guys need to figure out what you need to discuss in the weekly meeting.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: But obviously it could be finances, it could be family things, the schedules, how your schedules, how your time is being spent.
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: Do you need to cut down on some things to make more time for each other?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: It could be talking about your sex life and the sex expectations that you have.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: How you're doing in that, I mean really it can be customized or tailored to whatever you need as a couple.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Our weekly marriage meeting looks probably different than others.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like I feel like we're doing good in a lot of areas.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: So R comes down to.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Our week is crazy with our kids.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: Can you drive this day?
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: R's is a little more schedule oriented because we already have our weekly date night in place.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: We already have kind of our routine.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Everything revolves around week date night.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: It really does for us it's literally we're not scheduling anything over date night.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: But it is kind of like what should we do for date night?
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: Should we invite some friends?
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: Do you want to go to a movie?
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: What kind of things do we want to do on date night?
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: So I like what you said.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: It's customizable.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: Whatever you feel like you need to talk to you about, and maybe one one and I like to do this before the week starts Like a Sunday night is great, saturday night whatever, but like maybe it's focusing week one on sexual intimacy and maybe it's emotional intimacy, maybe it's date night the next week, or maybe it's kids schedules, like I don't know.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: There's just there's a lot of things that could be a rotation.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and if you go down in the notes in the podcast, we're going to have a free printable for you that you can or just get on or get on the app.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: But that's going to help you with your goals and actually put things down and writing and hopefully these are goals that most of us can, can really do and really keep this year.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: So, like I said, number one screen time of social media.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Number two date nights.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: You know, put some thought, some planning into it and for a lot of you actually have date nights or start having date or make a more fun make sex a priority, determine you know what you're going to do and what works for you in your relationship.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Well, there's one time a week, two times a week or more, whatever.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: Whatever you guys works for you, Put together a vision board, figure out what you want to accomplish short term, long term, and work together as a team to accomplish those things.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: And then finally have your weekly marriage meetings where we're going to check in, see how things are going and you'll really communicate about certain things.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we assume that, oh, my spouse is going to take care of this, or we assume we assume things from each other.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: But having those weekly marriage meetings are going to take out a lot of assumptions and really help you have less conflict in your relationship as well.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Perfect, love it.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: So let us know what you think and we hope these things can have a great impact for you going into 2024.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: Hopefully it's going to be good year for all of us.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: I think that if people will set the goal to just improve the relationship with their spouse for 2024, like if literally that's the only goal that you set, I think that you will find that all other aspects of your life go so much more smooth because it's in our homes and it's in our marriages where we get that support, that companionship, the love I mean.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: If your marriage is awesome, your kids are going to have a better year, everything is going to fall into better place when you have your life, spouse, partner, best friend next to your side.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: So if there's not any other goal that you set, it's literally just implementing these things to have a better marriage.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Like that's life changing.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: So until next time, we hope each one of you find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.