Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / Hooked by Emily McIntire - Wendy, Darling… Therapy Is That Way →

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Hooked by Emily McIntire - Wendy, Darling… Therapy Is That Way → · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

• 0:00
  Hi friends, you're listening to Lose the Plot with Carla and
• 0:03
  Emily. In this episode we're reading
• 0:05
  Hooked by Emily McIntyre. We are talking about the entire
• 0:09
  book, so warning, there will be spoilers.
• 0:26
  I'm Carla and I hum I do love popping a good cherry.
• 0:31
  Don't slow blink at me. I'm Emily, and the hint of
• 0:38
  danger stretches out like tentacles and suctions to my
• 0:40
  skin. Before we dive into this juicy
• 0:44
  episode, we have a tiny favour to ask if you've enjoyed our
• 0:47
  previous episodes and want us to create more content.
• 0:50
  Take a moment right now, click over to our profile and leave us
• 0:54
  a five star review on whichever platform you're using.
• 0:57
  And share with a friend if you know they love smart.
• 1:00
  As always, let's start off with our delicious trigger warnings.
• 1:08
  These are from the author's website.
• 1:12
  Nice. OK, graphic sexual scenes breath
• 1:16
  play slash choking, torture, murder, physical assault,
• 1:21
  kidnapping, mentions of paedophilia, sexual abuse of a
• 1:25
  minor. Mentions of physical abuse of a
• 1:27
  minor. Do you not remember any of
• 1:32
  those? You look really confused.
• 1:33
  I. Was like I was just trying to.
• 1:35
  Work out when the. Had a phelia bit wasn't there,
• 1:38
  so Hook was sexually abused by his uncle.
• 1:42
  Oh, I did that. Just I was.
• 1:46
  Just bashed by his uncle. It must have no, no, no, because
• 1:50
  there was a bit where he said he would come into his room at
• 1:53
  night. Yeah, I feel like I missed that.
• 1:56
  I must have, if I'm honest. Anytime they do a little back
• 2:00
  story like they with their mind the way off into the past, I
• 2:05
  skim it and tune out with skill my.
• 2:10
  Well, I'm glad someone do. Yeah, it's me for once.
• 2:13
  What the fuck? It's really abnormal.
• 2:17
  We don't. Like backstories.
• 2:21
  So before we look like complete horrible people, it's just like,
• 2:24
  wind it back. We're not laughing at child
• 2:27
  abuse. We literally just didn't know.
• 2:31
  I was like, what was the problem with this man?
• 2:34
  Oh my God. Still, how much of past trauma
• 2:38
  excuses the kind of shit? I would kill this man just for
• 2:41
  the crop boots alone. Oh yeah, 100%, There's something
• 2:45
  different. Let's start with Hook, because
• 2:48
  we're introduced to him first. We usually start with the female
• 2:51
  main character. Hook What are you doing?
• 2:54
  Who is he? Why is he?
• 2:55
  Why? What?
• 2:57
  And did you imagine the cartoon version from Peter Pan?
• 3:01
  Because I did. No so my problem, I listened to
• 3:04
  like one clip of the audio. Book.
• 3:06
  And then he sounds like hero. I don't know his full name, but
• 3:11
  my problem is. It's like hero Chinas or
• 3:14
  something. His name and he's the actor.
• 3:19
  Because it just gets worse as I just keep thinking about it.
• 3:23
  Hero. Phineas Tiffin, right.
• 3:26
  And in my mind I was, because I couldn't remember his name,
• 3:29
  because they sound the same. I was like hero.
• 3:32
  Phineas, Ferb, Ferb. So I was thinking of Phineas and
• 3:34
  Ferb the Yeah, that's a leap, skipping a jump away from.
• 3:39
  I know it's just me thinking about the ugly version of look
• 3:44
  and I'm like, this man is like 50 years old.
• 3:46
  At least I was strapped in. You don't understand how
• 3:50
  strapped in I was for a swashbuckling extravaganza.
• 3:55
  What the fuck was this? Where was the?
• 3:58
  Where was the Peter Pandas? He didn't even like boats.
• 4:02
  Where Where was the magic? They went on a boat and it
• 4:05
  didn't move. He didn't even leave.
• 4:08
  He didn't even pour. And crop.
• 4:12
  He goes, I don't like being on the water much.
• 4:15
  And she goes like, where's the Pixie dust?
• 4:19
  Where's magic the Pixie? Dust is the drugs, Carla.
• 4:23
  There's the Pixie dust. He's never done a drug in his
• 4:26
  life, Emily. He's a smart man.
• 4:31
  Because then you have crackhead Tina Bell.
• 4:34
  Don't get me started. Oh, I just don't even know
• 4:38
  what's going on. I had to put the book down.
• 4:42
  I had to exit the room. I was imagining so much more.
• 4:47
  The cover was giving, it was giving adventure.
• 4:50
  But then I realized we were in the romance category.
• 4:52
  So it's kind of we don't know much about Hook except at the
• 4:56
  start that he's a murderer. That's as much as we.
• 4:58
  Need to He kills his uncle. That's it.
• 5:02
  He says some weird shit in his head.
• 5:05
  It's a real ride if I have. British people talk.
• 5:08
  I don't think so. Because I could never.
• 5:12
  Maybe Jack the Ripper? OK, OK, so Hook even figures out
• 5:17
  that Wendy exists, right? And then he immediately plans to
• 5:22
  destroy her. And I'm like OK.
• 5:25
  Not only OK. He did.
• 5:28
  OK, so now I'm stuck. OK, not only.
• 5:31
  Does he plan to destroy her? Hello.
• 5:34
  Hello. He plans.
• 5:38
  He's constantly thinking about fucking her on her dad's
• 5:44
  carcass. Yeah, that came up a lot a.
• 5:47
  Lot like four or five times. Like almost one too many times.
• 5:52
  It was like three times in one chapter and I was like, calm
• 5:55
  down. There was it just spurts.
• 5:57
  Calm over the weirdest shit ribbons everywhere.
• 6:01
  Hot take There's easier ways to fuck Peter Michaels.
• 6:09
  Like I know that's where, not where he was going, but just
• 6:12
  admit that you want Daddy Michaels to pound into your a
• 6:15
  hole. Hello.
• 6:16
  He just wants to be dominated by PM.
• 6:21
  Peter gets bottom though. What bottom Really?
• 6:27
  Tina's on top. Tina is totally on top.
• 6:30
  OK, well, honestly, I didn't think about their dynamic March.
• 6:32
  I was too busy thinking about him and Hawk.
• 6:35
  Him and Hook. But OK, so there's supposed to
• 6:37
  be tension between them, but it was very.
• 6:42
  I'm going to. I'm going too far between Windy,
• 6:46
  windy, windy, Michaelson. James Bondy between Michaelson
• 6:53
  Hook. The tension was really just
• 6:56
  Wendy in the middle. Oh, navigating this man.
• 7:00
  Oh God. Fighting everyone.
• 7:02
  So this is very much one of the first quotes we get.
• 7:05
  About Hook, looking at Wendy. That made me laugh.
• 7:10
  OK, we ready? Yeah.
• 7:12
  Should I do it in a British accent?
• 7:14
  Yes. I.
• 7:16
  Don't know if I can. My cock lengthens at the thought
• 7:19
  of driving inside her until she breaks, leaving wounds that scar
• 7:24
  with the reminder I was there, tarnishing her innocence and
• 7:29
  then tossing her at her father's feet.
• 7:31
  A defiled version of the girl he bread.
• 7:35
  Amazing. I'm sorry.
• 7:37
  Where's the bakery at? Where's the bakery?
• 7:39
  You. Know what?
• 7:40
  I have the exact same. Do you have the next one?
• 7:45
  No. No, tell me the next one in your
• 7:49
  best, British. Accent I can't.
• 7:50
  Do I can't do a British accent. I'm not going to try.
• 7:52
  It Will just be it's just adjacent to ours.
• 7:55
  Just move it over. Just move it.
• 7:57
  Just take the slur away. I don't know how to do that.
• 8:00
  Just Mosey on over that, just. Mosey on over you?
• 8:05
  Hardly get it? Look, how can you do something
• 8:09
  and not be able to British? It was giving classes.
• 8:15
  It was giving British, but it was giving Peaky Blinders.
• 8:19
  Is that British? Yes.
• 8:20
  Okay oh wait, isn't that a bit Irish?
• 8:23
  I don't know. A gruesome image of me thrusting
• 8:33
  inside her on top of his remains.
• 8:35
  My cum, dripping from between her thighs and mixing with the
• 8:39
  pool of blood beneath us, makes my cock.
• 8:42
  Jerk makes it. What jerk?
• 8:47
  I just pronounced the CK in that cock too.
• 8:49
  Well, it just threw me off. It makes my cock jerk violently,
• 8:55
  A groan ripping from my throat as I palm my aching erection.
• 9:00
  There are some things that should be kept in your diary
• 9:03
  alone. Well, to be fair, this was in
• 9:06
  his head. Yuck.
• 9:10
  With his many voices. And I think that's like you have
• 9:13
  the tend of him fucking her on his corpse.
• 9:16
  True, but what's with the pool of liquids?
• 9:19
  The pool of. Blood.
• 9:21
  And at some point, there's a pool of saliva dripping down
• 9:24
  onto the table. Oh dear.
• 9:26
  God, dear God. But he knew nothing about her.
• 9:29
  He just looks at her, figures out her surname and he's like
• 9:35
  she's the. Hottest person?
• 9:36
  In here, and it's only because she's her father's daughter.
• 9:40
  She can look like a foot and it wouldn't matter.
• 9:44
  He'd be like, yeah. What if she looks exactly like
• 9:47
  her dad? Oh my God, it all makes.
• 9:51
  Sense when you've been. Dreaming of this moment with
• 9:54
  this man for life and you just merged the images together.
• 9:59
  Nothing makes man than killing the father of his desire.
• 10:06
  Yeah, for him it's like the other way around, isn't it?
• 10:08
  Because he's got poof with Peter.
• 10:10
  Mike. He's got them cheeks doubled up
• 10:13
  and the beef is. Trying to turn this shit back
• 10:19
  into the actual direction we should be going.
• 10:21
  So the the beef is that that Peter Michael's killed his
• 10:27
  family. In a plane crash and somehow
• 10:30
  this child survived a full plane crash.
• 10:34
  Was he with them? Yeah, they went on holiday.
• 10:39
  Sorry, just imagining him. Just like.
• 10:42
  Family holiday to. Florida.
• 10:45
  Out of all places, so much better.
• 10:50
  He could have just pushed them into some alligators.
• 10:53
  Like, keep it consistent with Florida times, right?
• 10:57
  Keep it relevant. Keep it real.
• 11:00
  Keep it real. It was a dead ass accident.
• 11:07
  Like investigations, like bro. He didn't need to kill him.
• 11:11
  It was an accident. It was an accident.
• 11:13
  It's the only back story I read, and apparently the dad read a
• 11:17
  note and then went wireless the sheet and then the plane just
• 11:20
  started crashing. Very dramatic.
• 11:25
  Very, yeah. It is very like I can't even
• 11:32
  read the lot of James. Just start his flight alone.
• 11:37
  Rest in peace, dude. I think the fact that we have
• 11:43
  more sound effects has made us so much more unhinged.
• 11:48
  If you are on this wavelength, you're insane.
• 11:52
  You're understanding what we're trying to say because we're like
• 11:55
  all over the place. Okay.
• 11:58
  Wow. So yeah, he hates Peter
• 12:01
  Michaels, Wendy, whatever. She's just an opportunity that
• 12:04
  walked into. She he picked her out the first
• 12:07
  it just the first, the first, the first because she was trying
• 12:12
  to get into the club. With her fake ID that looked
• 12:14
  nothing like her and he was like, that's the girl for me.
• 12:18
  And then it just all fell into place.
• 12:22
  So first of all, she's underage, so Hook shouldn't even be
• 12:27
  looking at her. No?
• 12:28
  How old is Hook? Because 26.
• 12:31
  And she's 20, so it's I thought she was like 17.
• 12:36
  No, this is the US of A. Their underage is 21 and under
• 12:44
  Okay. I retract that.
• 12:45
  Police siren. Yeah, yeah.
• 12:46
  It's still a little bit. She's fresh out of school, but
• 12:51
  considering I thought he was like 50.
• 12:54
  Because every Peter Pan hook is the old bad guy.
• 12:58
  No, he's just some skinny white man that's 26.
• 13:04
  He can't tell me this man has time to go to the gym.
• 13:06
  Oh, absolutely not. Oh, he gives Creepy Thin Man
• 13:11
  with a knife from Charlie's Angels.
• 13:13
  Yes, all greased up and everything.
• 13:16
  Again, they sort of didn't really give a description of
• 13:18
  what he looked like. There was no description.
• 13:21
  There was no description of her either.
• 13:23
  I tried to look up fan art because I was sure there would
• 13:26
  be some, but there was none. She had brown eyes.
• 13:29
  Delicious chocolate droplets. That's all I knew about a little
• 13:33
  Chucky. Why do we get more description
• 13:35
  about people's genitals? I don't.
• 13:37
  Care genitals are all the same. I thought you mean you don't
• 13:41
  care and you prefer that? No.
• 13:43
  No, the only time I want to hear about someone's genitalia is
• 13:46
  when they have a piercing. I'm not all the same.
• 13:52
  I know. But how are you going to
• 13:53
  describe it this? One's a little.
• 13:55
  Bit bent to the left, little skin left on the top.
• 13:59
  It was just full hook, his Dick. That's why they call him Hook.
• 14:04
  No. That's not why.
• 14:08
  How would he put it in? She'd have to have an extra
• 14:11
  corner vagina. He just walks around the corner.
• 14:16
  It's like is it in? He's doing it from the side.
• 14:21
  Nothing makes sense while he's checking her out on the camera.
• 14:27
  Immediately after he's thinking about fucking her on her dad.
• 14:31
  He's getting wired to suck his Dick and he says something and
• 14:35
  hear me out. If any man said this to me, I
• 14:40
  would leave this world. That's you.
• 14:45
  What is it? It is.
• 14:46
  You have to find out what it is. This suit is cashmere,
• 14:48
  sweetheart. Don't sully it with $3 stains,
• 14:53
  understand. Because she was kissing his
• 14:55
  pants. So is he saying her lipstick's
• 14:58
  $3? Yeah, but if she's only wearing
• 15:01
  $3 worth, it is a very expensive lipstick.
• 15:05
  True, that was not my problem. I'm all be for being a frugal
• 15:10
  queen. And.
• 15:12
  It was the The suit is cashmere. Yeah.
• 15:15
  Yuck. You're cutting up men and you're
• 15:17
  telling me that you're worried about her lipstick and who's
• 15:21
  wearing? Cashmere Who's wearing a
• 15:23
  cashmere suit. What scary man is like the suit
• 15:27
  is cashmere, darling no one. Why do you need a soft suit?
• 15:32
  Because he is soft. OK, so I kind of imagined Hook
• 15:37
  also as being like a hybrid Jack Sparrow.
• 15:39
  Like rough drunk BOE smells like cigars.
• 15:44
  I mean he. Drinks the weirdest drink, so it
• 15:46
  makes sense. It just wasn't giving pushed.
• 15:49
  Basil Hayden, What is that? Is it rum?
• 15:54
  Oh, I don't know. Basil flavoured rum.
• 15:56
  Yuck. That's disgusting.
• 15:59
  I don't know. Is that what he was drinking?
• 16:00
  Yeah, two fingers of. I don't know.
• 16:05
  Could you imagine fancy for me? Fancy Kashmir zoo guy with his
• 16:09
  glass, and he's just holding two fingers on the side of the glass
• 16:12
  to measure out his. He'd wouldn't have to pour it
• 16:16
  himself more more where. Is busy.
• 16:20
  Where is making bank? She's working at a bar sucking
• 16:25
  Dick. She's got a lot going on.
• 16:27
  Yeah, that's so true. And she gets nothing out of it.
• 16:32
  So what do we know about Wendy apart from she's Peter Michael's
• 16:35
  daughter? She's a bit goody 2 shoes.
• 16:39
  She doesn't like doing anything. She is the babysitter of her
• 16:42
  brother. She likes work even though she's
• 16:45
  a kajillionaire. The job crisis is rough and
• 16:48
  you're taking jobs away from people that I can't afford to
• 16:50
  lift it. But isn't she kind of wanting to
• 16:54
  be her own person? Be a good.
• 16:56
  Person and buy your own cafe. Work in the cafe and give other
• 17:00
  people. Jobs.
• 17:02
  She doesn't need an income, she's just wants to work away
• 17:06
  from the bottom like us normal plebs.
• 17:09
  Fair, fair. I'll give her that.
• 17:10
  So maybe. But isn't it funny that she has
• 17:12
  to do a job that's like barista? Yeah, 'cause then it fulfills
• 17:16
  the typical cafe romance novel criteria of her being 10 stages
• 17:22
  in a poverty level below him. As a waitress, you know, working
• 17:26
  95, no qualifications. Nothing.
• 17:29
  Just nothing. You're telling me she didn't go
• 17:31
  to the best private school and had a chance to go to
• 17:33
  university? But she did have a chance, and
• 17:35
  John tells her you should just go to college like everyone
• 17:38
  else. And she's like.
• 17:39
  I don't know. If it'd just be with you, You
• 17:41
  know what? He's going to boarding school
• 17:43
  anyway. Bitch.
• 17:44
  What are you going to do for the rest of your life?
• 17:46
  Yuck. Work in a coffee shop.
• 17:48
  I'll be making my dad buy me the best university education ever.
• 17:52
  Just the degree. Just buy the degree, like
• 17:55
  straight up. OK, so Wendy, that's pretty much
• 17:58
  as much we know that Wendy. For you, her friends, you're
• 18:00
  going to have to convince her to use the fake ID in the 1st
• 18:03
  place. That's how much of A Goody 2
• 18:04
  shoes she. Is.
• 18:05
  And the only reason she went was because Maria was like, you
• 18:08
  wouldn't even go there and she was thirsting for Hook.
• 18:12
  You're telling me Wendy seen this dark, gloomy man and she
• 18:16
  didn't put two and two together for Maria?
• 18:18
  There's one man in this club that's not literally greasy and
• 18:22
  sweaty and on drugs and she just didn't put it.
• 18:26
  Together, of course, they meet each other in the club.
• 18:29
  It's like he just bumped into it and grind it on earth.
• 18:31
  Yeah, it was so awkward. And every micro interaction that
• 18:35
  they ever had is dragged out for an eternity like they're.
• 18:39
  Licking each chapter they're like licking their own lips and
• 18:42
  then the other persons like, oh, the groin is like aching for the
• 18:45
  other person and like. Chill, relax.
• 18:48
  Your body can't be reacting that crazy.
• 18:51
  Even when they bump into each other, she's like, this is
• 18:53
  weird. And he's like, this isn't the
• 18:55
  best experience of my life. It's like the next day or
• 18:59
  something. Pretty much.
• 19:01
  He magically rocks up at her work, and conveniently at that
• 19:05
  exact time, there's someone being a douche about how long
• 19:09
  it's taking to make his coffee, and she's fumbling around and
• 19:12
  she drops the one that she was about to give to him.
• 19:16
  To be fair, I'd be pissed too. I know, but it was just regular
• 19:21
  jerk stuff. She was like, I'll give you a
• 19:23
  free coffee on the House and he's like, I already fucking
• 19:25
  paid for it, bitch. But that means just give me.
• 19:29
  Just give me the coffee now. And of course Hook comes in, and
• 19:33
  some of the writing in this bit was so unintentionally hilarious
• 19:37
  I was losing it. Is it because the first half of
• 19:41
  the book right every description is written?
• 19:44
  Really long and then it's like she gets lazy by the next part
• 19:48
  maybe. Because, she goes.
• 19:50
  My tailbone throbs with a sharp ache as I lie on the cold
• 19:53
  ground, eyes closed, trying to collect myself.
• 19:55
  And I'm like, dude, get up. Get up.
• 20:00
  But. She's like before that, before
• 20:02
  she even falls. She's like my nerves are shot.
• 20:05
  I can feel the ball of fire brewing in the center of my
• 20:08
  stomach, spinning and growing, the flames licking up my inside.
• 20:12
  OK. It's because she knows that Hook
• 20:14
  exists and. She's like, that was before he
• 20:17
  even came in. That's what I mean.
• 20:18
  She's like a man. Gave me 5 seconds of attention.
• 20:23
  And now I'm getting yelled at by another man.
• 20:25
  My insides are on fire. Take a shit.
• 20:27
  Girl. But wouldn't like, I don't know,
• 20:31
  every 3rd customer would be a bit of an asshole.
• 20:34
  But anyway, he perfectly comes in to witness this interaction
• 20:37
  and his reaction is so over the top, yet so underwhelming at the
• 20:42
  same time. So there's this huge build up.
• 20:45
  I have the quote OK, and this is Wendy.
• 20:48
  Wendy. A low chuckle rumbles from my
• 20:51
  mystery man's chest. The sound vibrating through the
• 20:54
  cafe. His frame already towers over
• 20:57
  the other guy, but like a shapeshifter he morphs, sucking
• 21:01
  all the energy from around him and using it to expand his
• 21:05
  stature. I've never seen anything quite
• 21:07
  like it, and my gaze is transfixed on the vision, bro.
• 21:10
  I didn't know we were watching Animorphs.
• 21:12
  OK, why did that whole quote suck the energy out of my life?
• 21:18
  But like OK Transformers. That's what I mean.
• 21:21
  Like the whole first half of the book, it's like she was just.
• 21:24
  Putting. Every dictionary word in.
• 21:26
  But like, OK Optimus Prime. Like, why is he getting bigger?
• 21:30
  How oh. And this he's.
• 21:33
  Just up on the wall like spider man, like head backwards like
• 21:37
  the. Hulk just getting.
• 21:39
  Here and he's. Just witnessing and he's not
• 21:41
  even involved at this point. He's like power, too.
• 21:47
  Bad. This man is just like, well.
• 21:51
  He goes, OK, girlie, pop, oh you.
• 21:53
  Know what he's doing? He's wearing lifted shoes.
• 21:56
  He gives lifted shoes. He does.
• 21:59
  He's wearing a cashmere suit with his lifted.
• 22:01
  Shoes. At this point she didn't even
• 22:03
  know his name, and she was quivering and quaking.
• 22:05
  He licked his own lips and her pussy.
• 22:08
  Ached. Someone needs to buy them
• 22:10
  chapstick like. What's?
• 22:12
  Going on. Little up then kisses.
• 22:16
  It's just insane. And you know that this guy,
• 22:19
  didn't they describe him as like short, plump and building.
• 22:22
  That was just his one rage event of the day that because he's
• 22:24
  angry at the world, he's conicopped it.
• 22:27
  He's working 9:00 till 10 at night, like 9 till five police
• 22:30
  staying behind. Either that or his ass.
• 22:33
  I don't know. Yeah, yeah, James has killed
• 22:38
  this man and the kids at home. I love.
• 22:42
  Making ex excuses for this mediocre jerk.
• 22:47
  Okay they either. They're either bolding because
• 22:52
  they're a terrible person. Or they're walking.
• 22:55
  From the stress. Of the children and the wife
• 22:58
  trying to just live. He just lost his his job.
• 23:07
  He just wants his coffee before he goes.
• 23:10
  Home the only thing he has left or.
• 23:12
  The mums at home, His wife and kids.
• 23:14
  Yeah. All she wants is coffee to
• 23:16
  survive. And he's getting it from his
• 23:18
  wife. He's just frustrated.
• 23:20
  He's very frustrated because she's.
• 23:21
  Crying on the floor, kids are coming out of everywhere and all
• 23:26
  she. Wants to live is her coffee, but
• 23:28
  instead Wendy gets him killed. This is more exciting than the
• 23:33
  real book. This poor dude is just trying to
• 23:37
  be he's. Just.
• 23:41
  Trying to support local business.
• 23:46
  My God. The vanilla pean has like a sign
• 23:49
  outside and it's like in remission or whatever, like it's
• 23:52
  clothing. About to be liquidated.
• 23:56
  And they're like. The only way I'm gonna not go to
• 23:59
  Starbucks today. I'm gonna try out the vanilla
• 24:01
  pean. She's fucking incompetent cunt.
• 24:03
  It's taking 30 minutes to make one coffee.
• 24:06
  That's not even a drive through here.
• 24:07
  It's like. How She's slipping.
• 24:10
  She's fucking sliding. She's.
• 24:11
  Sliding her pussy shoes falling out on the ground.
• 24:15
  She's getting one. The little snail lady is just.
• 24:19
  But you know what I don't understand?
• 24:21
  Hook leans down from his, like, 20 meters tall right now.
• 24:25
  He's touching the root. He's optimist prime so he.
• 24:27
  Leans. Down.
• 24:28
  And they, the fucking author, didn't even tell us what he
• 24:31
  said. How did she?
• 24:33
  Fucking fade to black on that shit.
• 24:36
  How are we supposed to know that?
• 24:37
  How? Are we supposed to learn?
• 24:39
  Everything he does is in secret. I don't.
• 24:42
  The man ran away. Yeah, but who cares?
• 24:44
  Like, why? But why did he run?
• 24:46
  He could have said anything. He could have said I'm wearing
• 24:48
  my mom's GS and like, what? It's.
• 24:52
  Pink. And that would equally get
• 24:55
  someone to run away. And.
• 24:57
  Why do you have to kill somebody?
• 24:59
  Because they're like, what? You can't drive away the
• 25:03
  customers. What are you shutting down?
• 25:06
  What if, for example, in real life, like, what if I had road
• 25:08
  rage once? Does that mean it's worth
• 25:11
  killing me over? Apparently so.
• 25:14
  Not only do we have to be scared of doors, we have to be scared
• 25:17
  of men in cashmere suits. Oh, and he had goons with him,
• 25:21
  didn't he? Twin goons.
• 25:22
  Twin goons to make him look more intimidating.
• 25:25
  Yeah. Get a life.
• 25:26
  Get a life. Should have left the twins at
• 25:29
  the orphanage and she. Was and she was literally like,
• 25:33
  oh. My God, He.
• 25:35
  Sent me from the one guy that was totally, appropriately
• 25:39
  angry. I mean, he should have kept most
• 25:43
  of it in, but still he. Should have kept those thoughts
• 25:47
  in his. Head and his.
• 25:49
  He should have diaried it later, yeah?
• 25:53
  Like he was the minute least bit sexist.
• 25:56
  But Hook is the ultimate most sexist.
• 25:58
  Prick out I. Know.
• 26:01
  How does he think he's better? Does he think he's woke?
• 26:04
  Like, I don't know. What's?
• 26:09
  Going on here. Sorry.
• 26:14
  You moved. From.
• 26:15
  Are we moving? Do you have more?
• 26:17
  No. The next this scene took me out.
• 26:20
  Sorry, not sorry to drag it on forever.
• 26:22
  No, it's fine. This next.
• 26:24
  Scene is literally him killing this man and he's like.
• 26:28
  Concrete is. Porous but tiles you can clean.
• 26:35
  So at least we're getting good cleaning advice.
• 26:37
  You know, big. He makes the twins clean up his
• 26:40
  mess and all I can think of is because they're tiles.
• 26:44
  On the ground is 2 scary grown men, probably covered in scars,
• 26:49
  whatever, holding knives for no reason.
• 26:52
  Guns in the back pocket with their little electric toothbrush
• 26:55
  and pink stuff scrubbing the body out of.
• 26:57
  The grout, because the grout would soak up a bit.
• 27:00
  Yeah. That visual is amazing.
• 27:02
  I mean, at least they're cleaning, you know?
• 27:05
  Yeah, but even then, after cleaning this man, cleaning this
• 27:09
  man, killing this man, yeah, he's like the adrenaline causing
• 27:14
  every cell to spark under my skin, my blood pumping fast and
• 27:18
  my cock hard from the rush of the kill.
• 27:21
  Oh. Chill out.
• 27:23
  OK, you should go join the guys at Den of Vipers.
• 27:26
  Go Cat Laid, you psycho. Yeah, like what is?
• 27:29
  Go and put your Dick in a wall. At this point, someone buy him a
• 27:33
  pocket pussy. I literally have had enough.
• 27:35
  Oh. No.
• 27:36
  Again, it was kind of like an author who doesn't know how
• 27:39
  Dicks work because his Dick was lengthening a lot it.
• 27:43
  It it was. And it just.
• 27:46
  Here's another weird quote about her dad and his Dick.
• 27:51
  OK. Yeah.
• 27:53
  I have her submitting to me fully before I break her and
• 27:56
  send her back to her fatherless home.
• 27:58
  I groan, palming my cock over my pants as it pulses behind the
• 28:02
  zipper. He.
• 28:04
  Gets hard over everything. Don't pay all, Don't they?
• 28:08
  Romance books. Is it the friction?
• 28:11
  Is it the zipper? Friction.
• 28:12
  Why are they all ripped up like they're 13 and they're getting
• 28:15
  their first batch of hormones or something like calm down, could
• 28:18
  you? Imagine the twins in the corner
• 28:20
  and they're just watching his penis just erect slowly and
• 28:25
  they're like it. Makes it sound like it's
• 28:28
  instant. Like a doing.
• 28:29
  And he's literally touching himself.
• 28:32
  Stop. Oh my God.
• 28:33
  And they're just eyes. They're in the corner like he's
• 28:35
  back at it again. Just.
• 28:36
  Look at the walls. Just look at the walls.
• 28:38
  Avert your eyes. There's a phrase I hate, and it
• 28:41
  came up a lot in this book and it has come up in others and it
• 28:45
  is the air crackled between us. Not the air, not there's no.
• 28:49
  Crackling. There's no lightning.
• 28:51
  There's no the. Air.
• 28:52
  What the fuck is crackling? We need a chemistry lesson.
• 28:56
  If it's crackling on the inside, you need to get into like a
• 29:00
  doomsday shelter. Come on down.
• 29:02
  Something's not right with your air quality.
• 29:05
  The only time an air can crackle is in a fantasy book.
• 29:09
  Yeah, not romance, but how? Does it?
• 29:11
  The air is not crunchy. Like I'm not.
• 29:13
  Look, I did not look into crusty.
• 29:15
  I didn't enjoy science at school, but I'm pretty sure the
• 29:18
  air is not crunchy. Look.
• 29:19
  Yeah, nothing's happening. Yeah.
• 29:22
  Just what the fuck? It's a dusty, crusty air.
• 29:26
  Every time they meet, there's so much body spasming between them,
• 29:29
  especially when they're close. Could you imagine them just
• 29:31
  like, humping the air as it was? They are.
• 29:33
  They're just like, I still get closer, 'cause when they meet
• 29:37
  again and you know, when they're just like, I don't know, like
• 29:41
  sliding up each other like 2 snakes, like flipping and
• 29:44
  sliding and then. All I can do is imagine two
• 29:47
  people with electric shock just back and forth.
• 29:49
  Like, just yeah, constantly. Yeah.
• 29:53
  And so she brushes his hand at one point and he gets an
• 29:56
  immediate full boner. If that's how men worked, we'd
• 30:00
  be in trouble. We're always in trouble.
• 30:02
  Just living, just living. How come we're live?
• 30:04
  And their Dicks, What's? Up.
• 30:10
  The funny thing is this man's Dick is tenting 24/7 and he's
• 30:15
  like fucking and Cumming is stress relief.
• 30:18
  That's all it will be. Never for actual enjoyment.
• 30:22
  Maybe if you did it for enjoyment, you would stop
• 30:25
  walking Dick up everywhere. Yeah, jeez.
• 30:28
  Wendy does not know how to play. Hard to get whatsoever because.
• 30:33
  She pretty much organized the first day to be the very next
• 30:37
  day at the coffee shop. No, they leave.
• 30:41
  They get. She gets picked up at the coffee
• 30:43
  shop. I was going to say why the fuck
• 30:45
  she could go to your own workplace?
• 30:46
  She gets picked up because she doesn't want to him to know
• 30:50
  where she lives. Yeah, OK.
• 30:52
  Like in a big. In a big mansion because her
• 30:55
  dad's. That's true.
• 30:57
  And usually people use her for money when.
• 30:58
  She suggested. They're all like you're going to
• 31:01
  go on a date at your own workplace.
• 31:03
  But. Then anyway, he's like, yeah,
• 31:07
  I'm going to take you to my houseboat.
• 31:09
  Like, he didn't say that, but he just took it there, right?
• 31:11
  It's his houseboat. And he goes, I never take any of
• 31:14
  the other females here. They're just no women.
• 31:16
  Women don't come into this area. No, he would say.
• 31:19
  He wouldn't say women. He would say females only
• 31:21
  because he doesn't know the. Difference, if I met a guy and
• 31:25
  he goes, I would only ever take you here.
• 31:27
  I wouldn't take any females here.
• 31:29
  I'd be like this is the day I die.
• 31:32
  This is it. This is.
• 31:33
  That's the time I record it and put it on TikTok for people to
• 31:35
  laugh at you. With me, that's what it is.
• 31:38
  Other females can just stay. Females are just.
• 31:41
  For the streets. Full of streets.
• 31:45
  So where is he? Fucking all these other chicks.
• 31:47
  He's not. But he's just incredibly Dick
• 31:51
  sucked. In my mind.
• 31:53
  He's a virgin that constantly gets his Dick sucked, and that's
• 31:56
  all that makes sense to me. So they're having dinner?
• 31:59
  Yeah. Why the fuck was her eating?
• 32:01
  Making his Dick get huge with each bite?
• 32:05
  Each little nib, nib, nib, nib. Was she, like, sucking the air?
• 32:09
  Was she licking a goopy salmon? And she's licking up the side of
• 32:18
  this fish. It's actually they bring it out
• 32:23
  full cooked, right? The fish isn't being pulled
• 32:26
  apart and she just licks into the eyeball of the fish.
• 32:29
  He's like. She knows how to look a good
• 32:33
  whole. And then he's just like, we're
• 32:38
  not actually going to move the boat.
• 32:40
  'Cause you know how it would actually be romantic.
• 32:42
  Let's go eat out on the deck and we'll have a nice little
• 32:45
  Twilight Sunset dinner moment. He's like, Nah, fuck you, I'm
• 32:48
  not pulling off the anchor. Well, she said.
• 32:50
  I'm scared. She doesn't like boats.
• 32:52
  She doesn't like being on the water.
• 32:54
  But you you would if you were going on a plane, I feel like.
• 32:56
  Bringing it back to Charlie's Angels, right?
• 32:59
  Can we imagine that his boat is the one with the Chad?
• 33:04
  She wasn't the Chad. Oh, I love it.
• 33:09
  He's the Chad. He is the Chad.
• 33:11
  I wish he would jump off the edge what happens off the date
• 33:15
  because it's all kind of blends together.
• 33:16
  Did they go back to the club? No.
• 33:18
  What happens after the date They eat their food.
• 33:22
  Oh, Yep, Yep, Yep. She sits in his flat and she's
• 33:25
  like, I want to know you. And he's like, you do know me.
• 33:28
  And she's like, no, I want to know what's in here.
• 33:31
  She pointed to a little pea. Brain.
• 33:34
  Heart, heart. And then immediately grinded on
• 33:38
  his Dick. Yeah boy, this is where she was.
• 33:40
  Like full humping him. Yup.
• 33:43
  And she doesn't even know his last.
• 33:45
  Name. No.
• 33:47
  I actually think she does at this point, surely?
• 33:50
  They were having a conversation about her dad, right?
• 33:53
  Probably. Even though she was trying to
• 33:54
  keep her his identity secret, she just told him straight up.
• 33:57
  Anyway, she's like. My dad's Peter Michael.
• 34:00
  I think that's further along. Oh really?
• 34:03
  Yeah. I think they start doing this
• 34:05
  first. It starts off with my clit
• 34:07
  swelling as a rush of wetness seeps from my core.
• 34:10
  Just chill. Just suck it back up, girl.
• 34:13
  Suck it back up play. Hard to get.
• 34:15
  You're dry as the Sahara baby. I'm like, I'm surprised you
• 34:18
  didn't remember this bit because he goes grind that sweet little
• 34:21
  pussy on me until you make a mess all over my lap.
• 34:23
  That's disgusting. Foul foul.
• 34:27
  Someone put that on Goodreads as a quote.
• 34:29
  I was like, shame on you and you shame on your.
• 34:31
  Family what? What if she had BB and she's
• 34:34
  smelling up his feet for days? I hope she did.
• 34:38
  And this is where he finds out that she loves.
• 34:40
  She can only come being choked as if.
• 34:44
  You're a literal virgin. Sorry.
• 34:47
  You're going to come. If someone looks at you fucking
• 34:50
  OK. She's a big I know where.
• 34:52
  He goes. I think she's.
• 34:54
  I'm pretty sure she's a virgin. How does he know if some?
• 34:58
  Men can smell it not. Getting They can smell the
• 35:00
  hymen. But they do care.
• 35:02
  They can smell the hymen tissue. Yeah.
• 35:06
  It's still my crotch. It's.
• 35:07
  Still. There, it's still connected.
• 35:10
  It's just a. Vibe Emily.
• 35:11
  It's just. It's 'cause if.
• 35:12
  You have If you wear minimal makeup and don't have big honky
• 35:16
  honkers, then you're clearly a virgin.
• 35:18
  You're. Clearly a virgin at 20, that
• 35:20
  never makes sense to me. What is she?
• 35:22
  What? Is she Jesus Christ, Ian?
• 35:26
  Yes, Jesus Christ, Ian. Jesus.
• 35:30
  But does she when she was telling him about.
• 35:32
  So instead of telling him she likes to be choked, she puts his
• 35:36
  hand there and he's like, do you like to be choked?
• 35:39
  But in her brain, In her little peanut brain, she's like nights
• 35:43
  where I lie in bed, playing out my fantasies in the shadow of
• 35:46
  the moon. What does that even mean?
• 35:50
  Like what? Turn the light on.
• 35:53
  Yeah, Turn it on. Pack it in, lady.
• 35:55
  Pack it in. Stop whatever you're doing.
• 35:57
  What are you doing in the moon? She she's out here.
• 36:01
  In the moonlight, her brother's like, I'm just going to get away
• 36:05
  from the windows right now. Not the walls milking his
• 36:08
  fingers. Oh my.
• 36:10
  Get. Your fucking digits out of her
• 36:13
  walls. The milking, though.
• 36:16
  How do you it's clearly? Milking all over, it's like.
• 36:19
  Milking the fingers. What is going on?
• 36:22
  This is the total opposite. Get those fucking fingers out of
• 36:26
  there. Get them out.
• 36:28
  Also, it was so easy for them to hook up.
• 36:31
  Yeah, it was just ridiculous for.
• 36:33
  Virgin. She was very confidant.
• 36:35
  Yeah, she was like. She was on that lap in a second
• 36:37
  and you're telling me she's done that with other men, women?
• 36:42
  She hasn't, you mean? No.
• 36:44
  Well, like she never says anything about her sexual
• 36:46
  history. So if she's a virgin, is she
• 36:48
  just dry humping everyone she sees?
• 36:51
  I think no one's gotten close to her.
• 36:52
  She's giving Lona because she's such a goody goody.
• 36:55
  You know, there's people who've just never been close to a man.
• 36:59
  Yeah, that's what she's giving. Her and Angie's relationship
• 37:03
  never really makes sense. No.
• 37:05
  Angie's giving 100%, Maria's giving.
• 37:08
  That's Maria. We're just giving.
• 37:11
  Backstabbing French, but and then Wendy's just there.
• 37:16
  Yeah, she doesn't really care, though.
• 37:18
  She doesn't care. She's like.
• 37:20
  I could lose my virginity one hour and get it over a young
• 37:23
  everything. 'S going to be a great time.
• 37:26
  I'm in my 20s now, so I'm trying to burn that.
• 37:30
  Ringhole's not going to burn yay immediately after the date like
• 37:35
  a so I'm just like. We're going to pretend like that
• 37:38
  was. Normal.
• 37:40
  What? I would just say, yeah, yeah.
• 37:45
  Immediately after the date she they this is where he's like.
• 37:49
  Tell me I'm yours. They've known each other for two
• 37:52
  fucking days. Relax, that's a red flag in
• 37:55
  itself. Get on one of your daddy's
• 37:56
  planes and fly away. The problem?
• 37:59
  With Wendy is her daddy issues are so bad, Hook ends up being
• 38:03
  the better option. How?
• 38:05
  Fucking what? What?
• 38:07
  That's how bad her daddy issues turned out being.
• 38:09
  Immediately after meeting Wendy, Hook goes and treats Moira.
• 38:15
  Like a piece of complete. Trash.
• 38:18
  Which is very unnecessary. Yeah.
• 38:21
  And what did Moira do wrong at the stage?
• 38:24
  Nothing. She sucked his Dick for free and
• 38:27
  worked. Free.
• 38:29
  She's not getting a pay raise. But she did nothing wrong and he
• 38:33
  was such a Dick to her. To be fair, within context of
• 38:36
  the end of the book, she is a bad person already right now.
• 38:40
  But. He doesn't know that.
• 38:42
  That's what I mean. So what do you expect when
• 38:45
  everyone mutinies against you later?
• 38:48
  You know what? He acted shocked.
• 38:49
  He's like, what do you mean? I pride myself on being hated
• 38:52
  and scare all of my employees, but why would they want to look
• 38:55
  different? You know what?
• 38:56
  When it all come out, I was like, it makes fucking sense to
• 38:59
  you. Idiot Curly.
• 39:01
  Was he only ever nice to Curly and just fucking yeah.
• 39:04
  What are these names? I know, but also none of the
• 39:10
  background elements gave anything.
• 39:11
  Anything piratey or that's what I signed up for.
• 39:14
  That's why I picked this book. It was honestly just random
• 39:19
  names names. The names were the only
• 39:21
  connection to. Tina Bell, the Jolly Roger
• 39:24
  Cannibal Cave. There was something else.
• 39:27
  They didn't even go on the water.
• 39:29
  I was like. How do you hate the water and
• 39:31
  you're fucking captain? But he's not Captain Hook.
• 39:36
  He's he's just Hook. He's just Captain Hook of the
• 39:38
  Bar. So bad.
• 39:41
  Lose that energy right there? Oh.
• 39:45
  OK, so they finally have proper sex for the first time.
• 39:48
  Dude, it felt like it was going forever.
• 39:51
  The proper sex. It felt like forever to get
• 39:54
  there because I'm pretty sure they hump each other again.
• 39:57
  But the the. Sex scenes were so descriptive
• 40:00
  and I like a bit of description. Nothing's worse than when it's
• 40:03
  too pump chomp and it's over and you're like, oh, but it went for
• 40:07
  an incredible amount of time. Yeah.
• 40:10
  And not in a good way. I was like, wrap it up.
• 40:12
  I love how they'll try to play the innocent act with her and
• 40:16
  she's like sucking Dick for the first time she's ever done it.
• 40:19
  And she's like my jaw taking, I don't know how I'm going to do
• 40:22
  this. Chill chillax, girl.
• 40:27
  You're only getting started. You got to the point where the
• 40:31
  description was so intense and for so long, I felt like I was
• 40:34
  just that awkward person in the room watching and just being
• 40:37
  like rather than, oh, you know, it's happening.
• 40:41
  Am I supposed to be in here? Am I here?
• 40:44
  How big is his Dick? I don't know, is it a coke can
• 40:48
  sized? Dick.
• 40:49
  He just described it as a Rexona can.
• 40:51
  Well, he he tells her to relax because he will never fit inside
• 40:54
  of her. That's the immediate sign that
• 40:56
  you probably should stop having sex.
• 40:58
  Yeah, because on some level he was sort of telling her, I'll
• 41:02
  look after you, you can trust me, blah blah.
• 41:04
  And then the second before he puts the Dick in, he's like, you
• 41:08
  shouldn't trust me. Like what?
• 41:11
  She just Spears her right there. For a loop because she goes
• 41:15
  like, I trust you and he's like, you shouldn't, and then he fucks
• 41:18
  her. That girl's to Lulu, though,
• 41:19
  because she's known this man for two fucking days and she's like,
• 41:22
  I could only ever trust him. She's doing it for the plot,
• 41:25
  don't you think though, Yeah, I. Don't think it.
• 41:27
  I don't think she cares that. She has beef with her dad.
• 41:31
  She doesn't know yet. But later, I don't think she
• 41:34
  technically cares. You're telling me that Maria
• 41:37
  told you this man is so scary. He's up in the club corner and
• 41:41
  she's like, oh, he just, he just a casual little bartender.
• 41:44
  He doesn't do anything? No.
• 41:47
  Just going on what you said, how she was like, oh, I trust you
• 41:51
  more than anyone. Imagine.
• 41:52
  Just accepting. I'm a businessman.
• 41:55
  And him being physically attractive enough as oh, I'm
• 41:58
  just gonna throw my entire eggs into this basket.
• 42:01
  Businessman of what? Men these days will be telling
• 42:05
  you that they have a potential to make money.
• 42:08
  Yeah, he could be one of those. And why?
• 42:10
  I couldn't have a potential to make 100 grand next year, but I
• 42:14
  actually have no job, no shoes, no fucking car.
• 42:18
  Maybe she. Doesn't care because she knows
• 42:20
  she's got the generational wealth anyway.
• 42:22
  Oh. Yeah.
• 42:23
  So she could do this for the plot and it would be fine when
• 42:25
  they're having sex, right? Funnily enough, I get really
• 42:29
  pissy when they bring up condoms or the pillow in books, but this
• 42:34
  one time I was like surely not because he comes inside her, but
• 42:38
  he comes inside of her because while he's fucking her, he's
• 42:42
  thinking. What about her dad?
• 42:45
  About her dad. It's all about.
• 42:47
  That's what I mean. All roads lead back to Peter
• 42:49
  Michaels and Hook fucking he's the it's one of those.
• 42:53
  They just need to fuck it out. Is it #5 number four of these
• 42:57
  fucking unhinged things? He's coming over because it's.
• 43:00
  I hadn't planned to come inside her, but the thought of her
• 43:02
  swelling with my child right in front of her father's eye right
• 43:06
  before I slit his throat had my balls tightening and come
• 43:09
  shooting out of my tip before I can even finish the fantasy.
• 43:13
  Stop thinking about her dad. He can't stop.
• 43:17
  He can't stop. He's obsessed.
• 43:18
  But he literally comes over. Yeah, her dad.
• 43:22
  Whenever she even no he brings it up, he's not her.
• 43:27
  He's obsessed, he's upset, She's just trying to live after.
• 43:31
  They've. Hooked up one time, it's
• 43:33
  literally like the next day she's like.
• 43:35
  I've got to go. Visit John the brother at
• 43:37
  boarding school to make sure he's OK or take him to boarding
• 43:41
  school. Sorry.
• 43:42
  And then he's like, he volunteers himself.
• 43:44
  Oh, do you want me to come? And then he's like, oh, I
• 43:46
  shouldn't have. I shouldn't have.
• 43:48
  That's too much commitment for me.
• 43:49
  It's like, bro, what? And then the second he meets the
• 43:52
  kid, he's like, oh, I love him. I love him like a brother.
• 43:55
  It's like, and then what? Like it's further down the
• 43:57
  track. But he literally calls this kid
• 43:59
  every fucking day to have a conversation with him.
• 44:02
  But this kid won't pick up for his own sister.
• 44:05
  Fucking Ferrell. He plays Daddy to pretty much
• 44:10
  Wendy and John. Yeah, you know what I mean.
• 44:12
  I mean, it's so gross. He has this weird dad dynamic
• 44:14
  with them. Yeah, he just fucks.
• 44:16
  One, he's like, oh, I'm going to look after you guys.
• 44:18
  And then John's like, oh, I like him.
• 44:20
  I like your friend. And she's like, he's literally
• 44:24
  stalking through our house. And John's like, oh, we were
• 44:26
  just talking in the office. John even covers for him.
• 44:29
  It's. Disgusting.
• 44:31
  John is so irrelevant to this entire fucking book.
• 44:35
  He just makes. Peter Michaels looks even worse.
• 44:38
  Yeah, the only reason John exists in this book is for the
• 44:42
  dad to be a bad guy. It's the reason everything's
• 44:46
  fallen into place. But this is when everything goes
• 44:49
  completely haywire and I didn't expect.
• 44:52
  To. It is relatively predictable,
• 44:54
  but I didn't think you'd go this way.
• 44:57
  It's giving you so. This OK, so this all happens.
• 45:02
  He's like blah blah, met the brother.
• 45:05
  He thinks his plans going all well because he's like I'm
• 45:07
  defiling Wendy exactly how I want it and I can't wait to
• 45:10
  just. Plop her and dump her and blah
• 45:13
  blah blah yeah. OK, so that's been his
• 45:15
  intentions from get go. Day one is to pump and dump
• 45:19
  potentially fuck on top of the dad's dead body.
• 45:22
  He would be living his dream, yeah, if he knocked her up and
• 45:26
  then she gave birth immediately on Peter's body.
• 45:29
  Literally. That's his dream and.
• 45:31
  Then he'd probably kill the baby for being related.
• 45:33
  Like, he's so unhinged. So anyway.
• 45:38
  But then tell. Me.
• 45:39
  How he then? With all of that being his
• 45:42
  original intention, has the audacity to start getting
• 45:46
  paranoid about Wendy because he heard from one of his lackeys.
• 45:51
  That one of the new people skulking around in the
• 45:53
  background is a female. He's like female.
• 45:56
  My fucking Wendy's a female. I just don't understand.
• 46:00
  How did he even put that together?
• 46:01
  She's not even that sad. That's what I mean.
• 46:03
  Well, true. And she's just following around
• 46:05
  for a fucking couple of days. Lulu.
• 46:07
  She works at the Vanilla Bean, but like when he's like, I
• 46:10
  thought it was Tina and then I just assumed it wasn't.
• 46:14
  What changed her mind from it being?
• 46:16
  Tina And also, why was he so sure that it was her?
• 46:20
  He's like oh. I'm so untreated because she was
• 46:23
  going to get a fucking snack. She was like, I just want that
• 46:27
  good bread. And he's like, you know what?
• 46:30
  She's shaking. She's shaking down businesses.
• 46:35
  She's shaking them down, taking my protection money.
• 46:38
  She's. 20 acts like she's 12 and she's like.
• 46:41
  Oh, I just want some bread, she literally says.
• 46:44
  Come get a snack with me A. Little and he's like.
• 46:48
  Teeny weeny. Planning this, her and her
• 46:50
  father together always brings the dad into it.
• 46:52
  Her and Peter Michaels. We get it.
• 46:55
  You're. Bitter about her dad and just
• 46:57
  calm down. It's just.
• 46:58
  Insane. He acts like everything that's
• 47:01
  ever happened. It's practically her fault that
• 47:04
  his parents died too. Now he's just decided like she
• 47:08
  wasn't a baby when it happened. Oh my God.
• 47:11
  You know what? This was already near the end of
• 47:13
  the book. So we're like kind of 75%
• 47:15
  through. Yeah, right.
• 47:16
  Tell me why I thought it was fucking safe, Emily.
• 47:18
  You never say tell. All from the gala.
• 47:20
  Fucking why? I thought.
• 47:21
  Gala safe. But not only the gala they.
• 47:25
  Freak, dude. And I was like gala.
• 47:30
  I just, I was tithing out my notes and I was like.
• 47:33
  This is gonna send colours. I can't.
• 47:35
  My blood pressure can't handle this.
• 47:38
  I thought I was safe and I'm like, there's no way there's
• 47:40
  just. Nothing could lead to a ball
• 47:43
  like. Why would it?
• 47:44
  Why would anything lead to a? But why would they?
• 47:47
  This book had all the tropes, but just it had my most hated
• 47:51
  one at the end. But we'll talk about it later,
• 47:53
  OK? So this is my worst nightmare.
• 47:56
  Two of my most hated ones together, which is frequent.
• 47:59
  For some reason, lots of people fake date at the ball or gala.
• 48:02
  Which I mean, tell me why I don't.
• 48:04
  I would never willingly. This is already when she's been
• 48:07
  kidnapped and locked up and they practically like, hose her down
• 48:10
  for the gala. Put her in, obviously like a
• 48:13
  nice dress. Moira picked it out.
• 48:15
  Moira picked people. No wonder she's fucking batshit
• 48:20
  crazy because she's just in love with this man.
• 48:23
  She's sucking his Dick and she doesn't get to go to no garba.
• 48:27
  Yeah, but all he would have to do is ask her literally two
• 48:30
  questions and then he'd figure out she wasn't lying.
• 48:32
  I Yeah. Because she's too dumb, like she
• 48:36
  didn't kill Roo. She doesn't even fucking barely
• 48:38
  knew anything about him. You're telling me this man
• 48:41
  before, around the time when he put it together that he reckons
• 48:44
  it was Wendy. He was like to the lost.
• 48:47
  Boys who went with Roo and one person was like, oh, no one went
• 48:52
  with him, but Roo told him people were going with him.
• 48:55
  Just fucking interview. Ask someone something, bro.
• 49:00
  He's like that guy that decides in his head.
• 49:02
  Oh, my girlfriend's cheating on me.
• 49:04
  And therefore I'm going to bash her when they haven't.
• 49:06
  Yeah. What?
• 49:08
  He's the judge, jury and executioner.
• 49:10
  Doesn't make this poor girl's like, oh, I'm so sorry.
• 49:14
  And he's just like, how dare you be sorry.
• 49:16
  You're the one. He got murdered.
• 49:17
  And she's like, I didn't even know what.
• 49:19
  Yeah. She's like, I didn't even know
• 49:20
  who you're talking about. Basically, she gave every
• 49:22
  indication that she didn't know. Yeah.
• 49:25
  This point I was having trauma flashbacks to The Stopover with
• 49:28
  James J Jameson because. Of the.
• 49:32
  James Hook, Yeah, Split personality because you know how
• 49:35
  they keep trying to use it? Like when I know him, what's in
• 49:39
  his heart, he's James and the scary guys Hook.
• 49:42
  It's a totally different guy. It's the same person.
• 49:45
  It's the same. She calls him fucking insane and
• 49:48
  she's like, oh, I said it and now he's going Jacqueline hard
• 49:52
  on me. But why would he take offense to
• 49:54
  that? He's fucking insane.
• 49:55
  He is insane and he he likes that he makes other people
• 49:59
  uncomfortable or scared. His Dick's probably bricked up
• 50:02
  after. The word.
• 50:04
  Exactly. And he can't stop getting
• 50:06
  attracted to her, so his Dick will be like whoop whoop whoop
• 50:08
  whoop like when he is constantly tucked into the belt at this
• 50:11
  point. At this point, if you're her
• 50:14
  though, she has a UTI. Standards.
• 50:17
  How horribly does he have to treat you to your face?
• 50:20
  Get off. Actually saying and treating you
• 50:23
  this bad to your face, this quickly into the game and you're
• 50:28
  seriously just going to be like, let's see how this pans out.
• 50:30
  Even when he's threatening to kill her, she's like, oh, it's
• 50:33
  fine. If you're gonna put a GPS on
• 50:37
  someone, I understand you're going to a ball, right?
• 50:41
  I understand. He's like every bitch needs a
• 50:43
  collar. Don't get me started though, but
• 50:46
  why have the ugliest fucking out of this world choke her on?
• 50:53
  She's going to wear that with her jimmies and when they go
• 50:55
  back, just put. A fucking Apple Air tag fucking
• 50:58
  in her underwear. Underwear.
• 51:01
  Just do what every other weird ducks slide.
• 51:04
  Out of there. Sorry.
• 51:06
  Do what every other dark mafia does and just fucking implant it
• 51:09
  in her in her sleep. Yeah.
• 51:11
  Fucking Chuck a chip in her behind the neck.
• 51:14
  She wasn't missing in her fucking Jimmy Jams and she had.
• 51:17
  They didn't think to take off the fucking Crystal Diamond.
• 51:21
  Fucking choker sleep with that. On come on, now.
• 51:25
  The first thing you taking off is the uncomfortable jury that's
• 51:28
  poking into your neck. She probably liked it, though.
• 51:30
  She's probably waking up like she's just my choker.
• 51:34
  She's coming at the thought of laying on her choker at the
• 51:38
  gala. He really thought he ate that
• 51:40
  entrance coming in with her because the dad was like, what?
• 51:44
  Yeah, it wasn't even that good. He really thought he ate, He.
• 51:49
  Did he was like, I'm going to walk in with my arm around her
• 51:53
  and her dad's going to convulse and fall to the floor crying?
• 51:56
  You know what's worse about that?
• 51:58
  He spent this entire week that they've known each other.
• 52:02
  Fantasizing about this moment. She's fantasizing about that.
• 52:05
  And all he gets was Emily. I'm not Emily.
• 52:08
  That's me. That's the writer.
• 52:10
  Wendy must be chucking a fucking tantrum right now, because I
• 52:15
  didn't come home. Yup, Dumb.
• 52:19
  Why does Tina Tina belt one exist?
• 52:23
  But why does she have to exist in a green sequin dress with a
• 52:28
  gold trim? They're really loosely holding
• 52:31
  on to the Peter Pan references at this point.
• 52:33
  Loosely, but I feel like what would have been cuter would have
• 52:35
  been like she's wearing like a long slinky green slip dress
• 52:39
  instead of the fucking ugliest dress you could think of.
• 52:42
  But OK, is the dad supposed to represent Peter Pan?
• 52:46
  Yes, the mum cheated on Peter. With Hook's dad.
• 52:52
  And that's where John, Yeah, because John is their half.
• 52:58
  Brothers. But that's disgusting.
• 53:00
  I know it's a bit Ian Chefsby. OK.
• 53:03
  That's the bit I that flew over. OK, that's fair.
• 53:06
  That's fair you. Pedophilia me entire family
• 53:08
  tree. OK, When they're at the gala,
• 53:12
  though, there's a bit where Peter starts talking to Wendy
• 53:15
  alone and he's like, is he making you do stuff?
• 53:19
  And she's like, why won't you pay attention to me, Dad?
• 53:21
  You didn't even call John. You don't even me.
• 53:23
  And then so she's not admitting that she's fully kidnapped
• 53:26
  because you can't, because Dad's being an ass right now.
• 53:28
  Hook walks in and goes trying to steal my date.
• 53:31
  Peter. Peter.
• 53:34
  Bro. He doesn't.
• 53:35
  Want to fuck her and daughter? That's another problem with Tina
• 53:40
  too. Yeah, Tina is like I'm always
• 53:43
  second best to you. He spends 24/7 with you, bitch,
• 53:48
  and you're jealous of his daughter.
• 53:51
  Calm down. And he was literally licking her
• 53:54
  in front of the dad. She was probably like he was
• 53:58
  probably getting off on on the fact that his dad was watching
• 54:01
  for once he. Would because he's 2 steps away
• 54:04
  from fucking on top of him, just roofie him a little at this
• 54:07
  point, yeah? Yeah, because she'd probably
• 54:09
  agree to it. Because she's such a pygmy.
• 54:11
  Oh, she is such a pygmy at the table when she was like yelling
• 54:15
  at him for all random things, but he really didn't care that
• 54:18
  she went missing. He wrote off them Children
• 54:22
  fucking. You not give a fuck.
• 54:23
  You know, the second the wife died, he's like, oh, she cheated
• 54:26
  on me, Bye. And he just checked out
• 54:28
  mentally. But then while they're in that
• 54:31
  little thing outside, Hook goes to kill the dad and Wendy steps
• 54:36
  in front. And the dad's like, yeah.
• 54:38
  Just kill her. Son of a bitch.
• 54:40
  Yeah, doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
• 54:42
  Just take her out. It's fine.
• 54:44
  But what were we breathing? For I.
• 54:47
  Don't know. Because even after that, James
• 54:50
  like, well, that didn't fucking work.
• 54:52
  He's all good with her dying. He's just really wanting to get
• 54:55
  Peter an erection and nothing he's doing is working because he
• 54:59
  gets erections on violence and he's like, why is Peter not?
• 55:02
  Yeah, he's like, hold on. The bait that I thought was
• 55:04
  Wendy. It's not even working.
• 55:06
  So again, he really thought he ate.
• 55:08
  He really didn't. No one cared.
• 55:10
  Fucking he doesn't care about John either, so he would try to
• 55:13
  use that against him later too. Yeah, Wendy cares more about
• 55:16
  John. You don't even chasing Wendy.
• 55:17
  You've already. Fucked her over.
• 55:19
  She's living in a fucking prison, yeah, Yeah.
• 55:23
  What the fuck? How does he get everything so
• 55:26
  wrong all the time? He's supposed to be so stupid.
• 55:29
  He's. So dumb.
• 55:30
  He's the most stupid villain I've.
• 55:32
  Ever read? You know he's just.
• 55:34
  In the wrong place is he the main male character, the villain
• 55:38
  and this dumb? No.
• 55:40
  You know what I mean? If he was the villain and he's
• 55:41
  that dumb. At least we're rooting for
• 55:43
  Wendy. Wendy sat dumb.
• 55:45
  So they're just made for each. Other I'm rooting for the dad at
• 55:48
  this point. The dad's dumb.
• 55:49
  Too. At least he's going after what
• 55:52
  he wants. At least he's already.
• 55:53
  Killed the dad is not. Even the dad isn't even going.
• 55:56
  After what? He's wants, he's.
• 55:57
  Just a little fuck existing. He's just been forced to do
• 56:01
  stuff by someone else. But he's not even smart enough
• 56:05
  to do his own fucking shit. To be fair.
• 56:07
  He is just running his own businesses.
• 56:09
  He doesn't even want to borrow this.
• 56:10
  He probably doesn't even know who Hook is.
• 56:12
  He's not even. Even bleeping on his radar and
• 56:14
  hooks desperate to be noticed. Like, look at me, look at all
• 56:17
  the stuff I'm doing. He has to tell everyone that
• 56:21
  he's hook and they're like, oh. It's just embarrassing if you
• 56:24
  have to explain who you are. Well, even the bakery.
• 56:26
  Going back to the bakery, they're like I already paid to
• 56:29
  someone else. Like, who even are you?
• 56:31
  I Fucking hell. Also, OK, so Wendy's still
• 56:35
  kidnapped, but at this point she's kind of accepted it.
• 56:37
  Yeah, she's OK with it. She's like, I just get to be
• 56:39
  with the love of my life. Classic.
• 56:43
  Anyway. She's.
• 56:44
  Like. Well, I don't have any other
• 56:46
  life prospects going on because since the kidnapping, clearly my
• 56:50
  job would have fired me. Bitch, are you telling me if I
• 56:54
  was to get kidnapped, my workplace isn't going to take me
• 56:56
  back if I was safely returned? Just tell them you were
• 56:59
  kidnapped. That's.
• 57:00
  What? I mean, you dumb bitch.
• 57:01
  She's like, oh, they have every reason to find she could.
• 57:05
  Her dad dies in the end anyway, so she could be like, yeah, my
• 57:08
  dad, I was kidnapped. Literally don't.
• 57:11
  It's all true. Fucking Jesus.
• 57:14
  And she's just like, no, I don't want to be an inconvenience by
• 57:16
  telling work I was kidnapped. What?
• 57:20
  What? Also, even if you're that
• 57:23
  employee, if you're sending her messages and saying, hey, why
• 57:26
  didn't you come to shift today? Are you coming to your shift
• 57:29
  tomorrow? Wouldn't you be concerned and
• 57:32
  put out like a police thing being like, hey, she never not
• 57:35
  comes to work and she hasn't come.
• 57:37
  You wouldn't just send them an angry text message thread saying
• 57:40
  you're fired for not rocking up. Yeah, I'm stupid.
• 57:45
  Also, I don't understand when she's kidnapped, she's chained
• 57:50
  to a wall. She's not having fun, she's just
• 57:53
  sitting in a stopping. Room, but James has the audacity
• 57:56
  to still call John every day and check on him and make sure he's
• 57:59
  safe. Because he cares about him.
• 58:02
  Because he's a guy. I don't know.
• 58:04
  No, I just don't do Ben. I don't think he actually did
• 58:07
  that. It's just.
• 58:09
  John covering up again later, he's like.
• 58:11
  Yeah, your friend's totally cool.
• 58:12
  He calls me every day. It's like the author wants us to
• 58:16
  swoon at the end and go. Hook's a great guy because he
• 58:19
  called the Brother. He's still terrible.
• 58:22
  He's so horrible. Him doing that is like 1% of 99%
• 58:27
  of bad, yeah, Yeah. And for what?
• 58:29
  It would have been his own motivations.
• 58:31
  He doesn't do anything that doesn't line his pocket or suck
• 58:34
  his Dick there. So Hook is like a businessman.
• 58:38
  He's businessman. And he's proud of the fact I've
• 58:40
  never done drugs in my entire life.
• 58:43
  OK, Hon. We've all seen Wolf of Wall
• 58:45
  Street. You're telling me a businessman
• 58:48
  doing business never has done drugs.
• 58:53
  He's in that entire Pi dust. You're telling me the psychotic
• 58:58
  breaks he has was never directly related to the fucking
• 59:02
  originated from his intense drugs?
• 59:05
  You are OK. I don't know how drug packaging
• 59:08
  works so, but if you're around drugs all the time, it's
• 59:12
  somewhat in the air when you're ripping that shit open and
• 59:15
  stuff. He's in a club every fucking
• 59:18
  week night. He's.
• 59:19
  You tell me he's never done. Drugs.
• 59:21
  And he's very proud of it. He only does two finger
• 59:25
  Hayden's. It's like it doesn't make any
• 59:29
  sense. It's like you drink.
• 59:31
  That's a drug, babes. So why do you think you're so
• 59:34
  good? Because you don't.
• 59:37
  Drugs that like. He's weird.
• 59:39
  He's pick me. He is me and he's.
• 59:42
  Like. I don't know.
• 59:44
  He thinks he's so special and he's so surprised when his
• 59:47
  employees reveal to him later. The big twist is that they're
• 59:51
  getting. What's the word poached by
• 59:53
  another bad guy? Yeah, he's so shocked.
• 59:55
  And then he cuts them immediately when they reveal
• 59:58
  that he, like takes a big slice out of.
• 1:00:00
  Them. Like what do you expect?
• 1:00:03
  Your employees fucking hate your guts?
• 1:00:07
  Someones like will treat you better and pay you more.
• 1:00:10
  They're like salt. But you need to get this weird
• 1:00:13
  fucking tattoo. Touching on the thing that you
• 1:00:16
  didn't know about, which is the sexual trauma from his uncle.
• 1:00:19
  Yeah, I hate how in books they decide if there was extreme
• 1:00:25
  trauma. It's OK for the main male
• 1:00:27
  character to completely treat the female main character like
• 1:00:32
  complete. Ass.
• 1:00:33
  Oh yeah, all the time. Because of their unresolved
• 1:00:36
  chocolate trauma. General life women just have to
• 1:00:39
  deal with the trauma every day. And it's like, bro, I'm sorry
• 1:00:44
  that your uncle molested you. I've actually nodded.
• 1:00:48
  Together, but that makes sense for the clock ticking sound.
• 1:00:52
  Yeah, it's like, you know what it feels like to be a victim,
• 1:00:55
  right? So you're gonna just turn the
• 1:00:57
  person who you quote, UN quote, love the most into the victim.
• 1:01:01
  Your victim What? Yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:04
  But then. That's totally OK.
• 1:01:06
  And in romance books, it's always.
• 1:01:08
  Seen as Trump bonding. Wow, We just love each other.
• 1:01:12
  It's fine. Also, he had no reason to do any
• 1:01:15
  of that to her because she's never lied to him once.
• 1:01:18
  No. Not once.
• 1:01:20
  Not this is the part where they do.
• 1:01:23
  Good finger in the bum because they're in love now.
• 1:01:25
  Of course, yeah, of course. No, no, no, no.
• 1:01:27
  How did I forget about the most top Tier trope in all of
• 1:01:31
  history? The anal to love pipeline.
• 1:01:34
  It's a. Yeah, the anal to love Pipeline
• 1:01:37
  is a real thing, because that means true love The second he
• 1:01:40
  was circling her asshole. I go, he's going to admit that
• 1:01:42
  he loves. Her.
• 1:01:43
  It is not OK to think, I think. I'm pretty sure.
• 1:01:46
  He says in his head that he thinks he loves her just before
• 1:01:49
  it happens. The second he touches that
• 1:01:51
  butthole bacteria, it's almost. Like it goes straight to his
• 1:01:54
  brain and he's like, I just don't what is going on in.
• 1:01:59
  It took me a while. Because it's like.
• 1:02:01
  Can someone do a study on this? It's.
• 1:02:04
  Got to be a thing. This is around the time how he
• 1:02:07
  says I'm no good with words because he was trying to explain
• 1:02:11
  how he loves it, right? Bitch.
• 1:02:12
  The whole point of your character was that you're suave
• 1:02:15
  and charming the entire fucking book.
• 1:02:18
  And then he's suddenly out here like, I know good with words.
• 1:02:22
  Ugg Ugg. My man says so many fucking
• 1:02:24
  words. If anything, he should be
• 1:02:26
  fucking. Brilliant at it.
• 1:02:27
  Anal though. Anal though.
• 1:02:29
  This is the way This is the. Way while he's fingering her
• 1:02:35
  asshole. Jesus, I wanted to bring it up
• 1:02:39
  so correctly. It's my favorite word.
• 1:02:45
  Asshole. I don't know why.
• 1:02:48
  Asshole or asshole? Like asshole, asshole.
• 1:02:51
  Same diff. He's like, I'm going to take you
• 1:02:53
  here, feel your muscles, milk the cum from my coat while you
• 1:02:56
  pleasure yourself. I'd be like, excuse me, one
• 1:03:00
  might have to do everything. After that, after that, he says.
• 1:03:05
  I'm pretty sure this is in his head.
• 1:03:07
  And this is where I fucking had a heart attack.
• 1:03:11
  I wanted to die. I wanted it to end.
• 1:03:13
  And it was. I coat her womb with my feet.
• 1:03:17
  Oh my God, I wrote. That one down, too, I said.
• 1:03:19
  Not the coating her womb with his.
• 1:03:21
  And I was like, I'm done. Stop.
• 1:03:23
  This is both of us. You on Mars, bitches?
• 1:03:28
  We're out of here. I'm done.
• 1:03:32
  I'm done. I have all the.
• 1:03:33
  Things he has said. Before.
• 1:03:36
  And that is arguably the worst. That's when she got pregnant.
• 1:03:40
  Did he say that out loud or did he say that?
• 1:03:42
  I think it was in his head, but someone said that you can't say
• 1:03:45
  that else if someone said to me that.
• 1:03:49
  You would. I would disappear.
• 1:03:50
  We need to make a bingo card that's downloadable for everyone
• 1:03:53
  that has particular tropes and you take a shot every time you.
• 1:03:57
  So there's got to be the. Anal to love pipeline, fake
• 1:04:01
  dating, gala or ball. Obviously, this was lovers to
• 1:04:05
  enemies. Yeah, to lovers.
• 1:04:08
  I just don't get why they had to make it incesty with John.
• 1:04:11
  You know what I mean? Like, why?
• 1:04:12
  Why do that to us? You know what?
• 1:04:14
  I've decided All this for some unknown reason.
• 1:04:17
  Lava. Good sneaky incest.
• 1:04:20
  They love it. They love it.
• 1:04:22
  It's either two brothers fucking the same girl at the same time,
• 1:04:26
  or it's the typical Gossip Girl. They have a sibling that they're
• 1:04:31
  related to all the time, all the secret.
• 1:04:33
  Sibling, That's also a trope. Look, to be fair, I wasn't
• 1:04:37
  expecting more of her to be one of the bad guys because she just
• 1:04:39
  had no substance. I thought she was just there to
• 1:04:41
  be the other girls and. Immediately I say said something
• 1:04:45
  about tattoos. I was like, she is the bad guy.
• 1:04:48
  But The thing is, the entire time I feel like I knew Smee.
• 1:04:53
  Was. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:55
  I was saying I called it so early.
• 1:04:57
  Yeah. But why did he reveal it at the
• 1:05:00
  end like, oh, we're related like?
• 1:05:03
  Not. OK, it's.
• 1:05:06
  Like what are we supposed to care?
• 1:05:09
  Are you supposed to be good? Again, who are we rooting?
• 1:05:11
  For we're. Like, I'm so lost.
• 1:05:14
  None of these characters like we're rooting for John at this
• 1:05:17
  point. Are we supposed to root for
• 1:05:18
  Wendy because she's the self insert?
• 1:05:21
  Because. She's.
• 1:05:22
  I never want to be self inserted into this book.
• 1:05:25
  No, I know, but it was just like, who will we?
• 1:05:28
  Because whose perspective was it?
• 1:05:30
  Wendy's and then Hooks. So they're the main characters,
• 1:05:34
  but neither of them had anything wanted.
• 1:05:36
  Like I didn't want to be either of them.
• 1:05:38
  You know how the bad guy, the other bad guy is Crock?
• 1:05:42
  How did he manage to evade the entire book?
• 1:05:46
  But he is the other main bad. Guy because he's.
• 1:05:48
  Thanks for nothing. Because we thought it was Pete
• 1:05:52
  all along. Also, why'd you have to make
• 1:05:55
  Hook turn on her in the center of the book and then they act
• 1:05:58
  like that was fine throughout the rest of the book.
• 1:06:00
  Why does he then love her? How do you?
• 1:06:02
  Come back from being kidnapped and like chained to a wall in
• 1:06:05
  the basement. Also, how did he get away with
• 1:06:08
  it? He didn't even sit her down and
• 1:06:10
  say I'm so sorry I made a mistake.
• 1:06:12
  He doesn't even. Have to.
• 1:06:13
  He doesn't even. Yeah.
• 1:06:14
  I To be fair, he doesn't really get a chance.
• 1:06:16
  Oh, yeah, he does. He could.
• 1:06:18
  Yeah. Could literally come down to the
• 1:06:20
  prison thing. Be like oh.
• 1:06:21
  Well, I suppose I. Made a Boo Boo.
• 1:06:23
  Well, after the gala, he they sleep in the same bed.
• 1:06:25
  That would have been the moment he should have been like, oh, I
• 1:06:27
  think I've made a mistake. Even in the limo home, he was
• 1:06:30
  fuming because he didn't get the reaction he wanted from Peter
• 1:06:34
  Michaels and Wendy's. Like, I hope he's not mad at me,
• 1:06:37
  love. Fuck.
• 1:06:39
  You should be stabbing him in your sleep.
• 1:06:43
  This is better than picking your dad.
• 1:06:45
  I would pick the absent dad any day of the week.
• 1:06:49
  He's rich and absent makes up for the fact that he's a fucking
• 1:06:54
  neglectful dad by providing for you.
• 1:06:57
  You could have coasted that out till death.
• 1:06:59
  Are you kidding? I would not have said a peep.
• 1:07:03
  I would not have criticized his parenting at all.
• 1:07:07
  Imagine being so stupid you get double kidnapped.
• 1:07:11
  Well, I kind of just gave up like I wasn't properly listening
• 1:07:14
  to what ended up happening, so you might have to fill in the
• 1:07:16
  ending for me. Oh.
• 1:07:17
  She went to the house and they had guards at the house and
• 1:07:20
  she's like, oh, this is weird. And then she still goes in.
• 1:07:22
  Tina's cracked out of her mind. Yeah.
• 1:07:25
  She's like, I'm the one that gets to sample the goods and
• 1:07:29
  then she gets like bashed and then kidnapped and then they're
• 1:07:34
  back out Cannibal Cave. She's.
• 1:07:36
  Still got that necklace on because it doesn't peak anyones
• 1:07:39
  interest. That she's got something.
• 1:07:41
  Bulky diamond necklace that's going this big red light.
• 1:07:49
  She's tied to a chair, Hook goes in.
• 1:07:51
  He's like panicking because she's tied to a chair.
• 1:07:54
  He's getting bashed by Smee, I think, and someone else I don't
• 1:07:59
  even know. At this point.
• 1:08:00
  It's just all a blur. Stock.
• 1:08:02
  Is it stocky or? Stockily Oh, I don't know.
• 1:08:05
  Fucks me. This man's got a gun to a head.
• 1:08:09
  He puts a gun in his mouth and that's when he starts freaking
• 1:08:12
  out. I'm like it's.
• 1:08:13
  Just all fucked. Blur from here.
• 1:08:16
  Me's going on some weird. Ranch.
• 1:08:19
  Out of hell. He.
• 1:08:21
  Was kicked out from his father and then just Peter shoots them,
• 1:08:25
  you know, that solves a problem and then Peter and Hook go at
• 1:08:29
  it, go at it. And then Wendy kills Peter.
• 1:08:33
  And Tina, So this is the thing I hate most in this world when
• 1:08:37
  people are getting murdered. And there's a gun to their head.
• 1:08:43
  And they looked to the love of their life.
• 1:08:46
  Stop. She's like, don't say it, don't
• 1:08:49
  you dare say it. And he's like.
• 1:08:52
  The greatest thing I've ever done in my life.
• 1:08:54
  Is. Love you Wending darling.
• 1:08:56
  Shut up. Shut the fuck up.
• 1:08:58
  Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
• 1:09:00
  I just hate. Fucking the best thing I ever
• 1:09:02
  did in my life. Way to make it all about you.
• 1:09:05
  So this is an actual quote from Wendy, and this sums up how
• 1:09:09
  Delulu she really is because James sees me as his equal.
• 1:09:14
  As someone worthy to stand at his side?
• 1:09:17
  Bitch. Since when?
• 1:09:18
  When have you ever? Been equal When?
• 1:09:21
  When is the evil? Like when?
• 1:09:25
  When when bitch is it in the room with us?
• 1:09:29
  Is it in the room? Is the respect in the room with
• 1:09:31
  us now? Again with you know each other
• 1:09:33
  for two fucking days. Literally, this one thing is
• 1:09:36
  like 2 weeks long. It's two.
• 1:09:38
  Weeks long this. Whole book and.
• 1:09:40
  Fucking. Do we?
• 1:09:42
  Like 12 of them. I don't know it could.
• 1:09:44
  Be less, it could be less. But it's say it's two weeks, 12
• 1:09:47
  fucking days of them. She was blocked in a basement
• 1:09:50
  while he hated her. It's a lot of the most, this
• 1:09:53
  whole book from start to finish, and you're telling me me that
• 1:09:59
  she thinks no, James Caesar was the equal.
• 1:10:03
  No. You know what?
• 1:10:04
  You know why? She's so Dulu, Luke.
• 1:10:06
  It's because she's a virgin. And you know how you apparently
• 1:10:09
  have sex? And the the chemical in your
• 1:10:11
  brain is like, yeah, the dopamine.
• 1:10:13
  Yeah, it's like you are the love of your life.
• 1:10:16
  You have never been equal, bitch.
• 1:10:18
  Bitch Where? He put a collar on you.
• 1:10:21
  He's dragged you up. He calls you.
• 1:10:24
  Pet Are you evil or is he just trying to fuck your dad?
• 1:10:31
  Are you are you cool? Or is he just the only man who's
• 1:10:34
  giving you 5 minutes of attention?
• 1:10:37
  Apart from the guy in line loving, he was awesome man with.
• 1:10:42
  Moral. And the family?
• 1:10:44
  She's working hard. 9:00 to 5:00 I can't.
• 1:10:48
  Believe out of the entire story, the person we side with the most
• 1:10:55
  with the sexiest guy at the coffee shop, the fact that
• 1:10:59
  that's who we, we as women sided with.
• 1:11:02
  It just says a lot. It says a lot, doesn't it, About
• 1:11:05
  the entirety of the story? What?
• 1:11:06
  Do you reckon that guy's name was?
• 1:11:11
  Just that random guy, the hero of the.
• 1:11:13
  Novel you want to know? The first name that came to
• 1:11:15
  mind, Margaret. Margaret's just working hard for
• 1:11:23
  his family. I don't even understand well.
• 1:11:28
  The fact that his it was called Margaret was the first indicated
• 1:11:31
  that his life was off to a bad start.
• 1:11:34
  He's. He's been staying hard for that
• 1:11:39
  Hawaii trip where he just gonna wear, he's gone on a cruise,
• 1:11:44
  he's gonna wear the like a button up fun shirt.
• 1:11:48
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:11:49
  I thought Gary like. Yeah, like Gary.
• 1:11:51
  He just Gary. He had Gary written on his
• 1:11:54
  little coffee cup. She spelled it wrong.
• 1:11:56
  He's had enough. She writ.
• 1:11:57
  Gary was an AE at the end. She ran.
• 1:12:02
  He was like. Margaret Garay.
• 1:12:08
  She's like Wilson. How do you spell Gary?
• 1:12:11
  Just writes down Margaret. She would.
• 1:12:14
  There's no one even in line. That coffee shop was empty.
• 1:12:17
  There's no drive through. How many orders is she?
• 1:12:21
  Why is she she? Even locks up and goes.
• 1:12:23
  There's no one else. In here.
• 1:12:25
  But the twins she's only got 1. She's only.
• 1:12:28
  Got one order. She's ordering a long black
• 1:12:32
  like. She's.
• 1:12:33
  She's just a. Standard coffee, yeah.
• 1:12:35
  There's no milk, there's no sugar.
• 1:12:37
  How do you fuck up? She's.
• 1:12:39
  Never worked a day in her life. How does she make black coffee?
• 1:12:44
  It's giving Charlie D'amelio in the fucking.
• 1:12:50
  Like this fucking poor man. It's like Undercover Boss and
• 1:12:54
  he's the boss and he's just. Like, what the fuck?
• 1:12:57
  That's why he's getting so angry.
• 1:13:03
  It's like the simple life because she's.
• 1:13:06
  She's. Parasol.
• 1:13:08
  That's hot. Literally.
• 1:13:10
  The coffee's hot. I just it's.
• 1:13:13
  Look, the real hero of the book is Gaza.
• 1:13:15
  Gaza. The.
• 1:13:16
  The maniac in the coffee shop? Shout out to you Gaz Gaza.
• 1:13:20
  You're doing gazing. We hope your family's better.
• 1:13:24
  I hope the real. Redemption would have been if
• 1:13:28
  who paid for his family to just live?
• 1:13:31
  If Gary made a real sacrifice, I.
• 1:13:34
  Honestly, don't even think hops rich.
• 1:13:37
  He lives on a houseboat. Yeah, that gives poverty, gives
• 1:13:41
  poverty. You've got to pay a lot to have
• 1:13:43
  your boat docked. So it's giving poverty, but it's
• 1:13:45
  also like that's his main residence.
• 1:13:46
  But he's like Smee is allowed to live there as long as he does.
• 1:13:52
  Maintenance. So is me paying his board in.
• 1:13:55
  Fucking yacht. No wonder it killed him.
• 1:13:57
  Yeah, tried to kill. It.
• 1:14:00
  He's just like, I can't even live anymore like I can't.
• 1:14:03
  Me, me, me, me, me. This author has a series.
• 1:14:06
  I think there's four of them, and they're all inspired by
• 1:14:09
  fairy tales and Disney stories and such.
• 1:14:12
  And this is the first book in the series, and they're all
• 1:14:15
  standalones. Yeah, But I was expecting
• 1:14:18
  setting. I was expecting relevance.
• 1:14:21
  Yeah, I was expecting it to be about pirates and swashbuckling,
• 1:14:26
  and we got none of that. No, we got loose names and
• 1:14:29
  insanity. The sexiest hook ever is the one
• 1:14:33
  off. Once Upon a time, and I feel
• 1:14:36
  like it would have done better if it was that vibe.
• 1:14:39
  Sorry, because I didn't get it because I'm trying to write my
• 1:14:42
  own pirate story. So that's why I picked this
• 1:14:45
  book, because I thought I need some inspiration for a smutty
• 1:14:47
  pirate romance. Yeah, I'm going to do my
• 1:14:50
  research. So I found another book instead
• 1:14:53
  and it's a gay pirate romance. Yes.
• 1:14:57
  So I've added it to my to be the list because I actually want the
• 1:15:03
  ships. The fucking pirating.
• 1:15:06
  I just can't believe how far that's deviated from Peter Pan.
• 1:15:09
  Yeah, So what are we going to write this out of?
• 1:15:13
  I was thinking of CD Worms, yes. Sorry, I'm going to give it two
• 1:15:19
  CD worms out of five, and that's being generous to be honest.
• 1:15:23
  I also think 2, two and a. Half CD Worms.
• 1:15:27
  He's just not a scary. Bad guy and even entertainment
• 1:15:29
  value. The entertainment was like lost
• 1:15:32
  after the first couple of chapters.
• 1:15:33
  Well, yeah. And also, if you don't care
• 1:15:35
  about anyone, you're not going to be entertained because you're
• 1:15:39
  not like, oh, I can't wait to. See if the heroes.
• 1:15:42
  Get what they want out of life. Because you're like when you're
• 1:15:44
  an idiot at this point, just dip.
• 1:15:46
  Yeah, it just did. Because Hook had already started
• 1:15:49
  off so bad. Yeah, they desperately had to
• 1:15:51
  make the dad worse in a short amount of time to make him worse
• 1:15:55
  than Hook. To make Hook look better.
• 1:15:57
  But he wasn't even worse. He was just, that's what.
• 1:15:59
  I mean, but that's what they tried to do.
• 1:16:00
  They're like quick, we've got to make Peter worse than Hook, and
• 1:16:03
  then they never quite did that. Yeah, as soon as I heard the
• 1:16:07
  name Tina Bell, it just went downhill.
• 1:16:10
  I just went downhill. I'm gonna give it an honourable
• 1:16:14
  mention for sneaky incest. Like that is not what I.
• 1:16:18
  Expected. I mean, I suppose they do share
• 1:16:20
  DNA with one person. The author didn't give a fuck
• 1:16:23
  about settings. No.
• 1:16:25
  They gave us a coffee shop and a houseboat that didn't move out
• 1:16:30
  of an entire pirate universe. You could have created the
• 1:16:34
  entire Peter Pin world. Pixie alcohol Where's the Pixie
• 1:16:39
  dust? Where's the flying through
• 1:16:40
  London? There was nothing.
• 1:16:41
  It wasn't even the streets of London.
• 1:16:43
  The. Pixie Dust was just the drugs.
• 1:16:45
  Yeah, but it was literally like. I suppose if you're on drugs,
• 1:16:49
  you probably think you're flying.
• 1:16:50
  Probably, but we wouldn't know because we never do drugs.
• 1:16:53
  Never business, man. So that's it.
• 1:16:59
  We're hooked. Wow.
• 1:17:02
  It's your picnics time. You know what I want.
• 1:17:04
  You're always start. I don't know what I want.
• 1:17:06
  That's OK. I have two options.
• 1:17:08
  If you want a preview of what our next book will be, it's
• 1:17:11
  usually on our TikTok. If I did, if I.
• 1:17:13
  Have time to put. Out.
• 1:17:14
  Goodreads. Yeah, true.
• 1:17:16
  We'd be sneaky on there. So go on our Goodreads and our
• 1:17:18
  TikTok. And you find out which one's
• 1:17:20
  going to be her next, or just tell us.
• 1:17:23
  You guys are really quiet. It's freaking me out.
• 1:17:27
  We have, We know we have subscribers.
• 1:17:30
  You guys are not sliding into the DMS.
• 1:17:32
  What is going on? You're not answering the poll
• 1:17:35
  questions. We don't technically know you
• 1:17:37
  exist, but then we do because you do reach out to us
• 1:17:40
  occasionally. Message us.
• 1:17:42
  Hello. Like, where are you guys?
• 1:17:46
  We need you. We need your suggestions.
• 1:17:49
  Thanks for joining us on Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily.
• 1:17:52
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• 1:17:55
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• 1:17:59
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