Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #144 Dealing With Fussy Eaters

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#144 Dealing With Fussy Eaters · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: Look at you and I there are things that we
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  Speaker 1: just don't like.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, like corienta. I can't eat this stuff. It's like,
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  Speaker 2: we don't know what your problem is.
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  Speaker 1: Coriander is the food of the God.
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  Speaker 2: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for this time
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  Speaker 2: poor parent who just wants answers. Now, Hey you going.
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  Speaker 2: My name is doctor Justin Coulson. I'm a dad to
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  Speaker 2: six daughters with my wife and partner in podcasting, missus
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  Speaker 2: Happy Families, Kylie Coulson. I really love doing these podcasts
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  Speaker 2: with you, having so much fun. Two weeks down, we're
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  Speaker 2: actually being really consistent. This is happening.
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  Speaker 3: This is happening. I remember when we were talking about
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  Speaker 3: how this was all going to come about, and originally
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  Speaker 3: you were doing your podcast once a week, and we
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  Speaker 3: kind of played with the idea of, you know, whether
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  Speaker 3: or not we did it three or four times a
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  Speaker 3: week or we took it to the four five days.
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  Speaker 3: And the thought that I had in relation to that
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  Speaker 3: was just, you know, when you want to be better
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  Speaker 3: at something, you immerse yourself in it. And for those
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  Speaker 3: of us listening today.
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  Speaker 1: We want to be better.
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  Speaker 3: That's why we're here, and so having that daily input
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  Speaker 3: of inspiration and direction.
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  Speaker 2: You're seeing we're inspiring and directive.
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  Speaker 1: I hope, so, I hope so.
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  Speaker 3: I know that me being a participant in this has
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  Speaker 3: had such a profound impact on my day to day
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  Speaker 3: parenting with our children, and if it can help me,
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  Speaker 3: I'm really hoping it's helping someone else.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. I just like listening to it after I dropped
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  Speaker 2: one of the kids off at school and driving home
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  Speaker 2: and listening to you and I talking, I'm like, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: I really like her. I'm going to hang around for
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  Speaker 2: a while with this one. You can come and keep
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  Speaker 2: that I do. If you would like to give U feedback,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: by the way, you can always leave reviews and ratings
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: via the podcast app by which you're listening, but we
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  Speaker 2: would also love it if you'd send us an email
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  Speaker 2: give us some feedback. Podcasts with an s podcasts at
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  Speaker 2: Happy Families dot com dot au. What we'd love for
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  Speaker 2: you to do is just leave us a voice memo,
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: like you know how you can use your phone and
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  Speaker 2: you can record something and then send it. That would
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  Speaker 2: be awesome because then we can play it on the podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Tell us if it's changing you like it's changing missus
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  Speaker 2: Happy Families. You know, I've noticed that you are dealing
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  Speaker 2: with the kids slightly differently. Since we're talking parenting and
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  Speaker 2: trying to be better every day. I'm really enjoying that,
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  Speaker 2: thanks man.
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  Speaker 3: So it's no secret we're not watching a TV watching
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  Speaker 3: family at all.
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  Speaker 2: No, we don't watch it.
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  Speaker 3: But this week a story came through my feed in
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  Speaker 3: response to last week's episode of says it's a new
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  Speaker 3: reality TV show with some Australian celebrities on Channel seven.
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  Speaker 2: I think celebrities is probably a bigger claim to fame
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  Speaker 2: than but anyway, go ahead, Yes.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I have to admit there wasn't too many names
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  Speaker 3: that I knew. But maybe I'm just a little bit
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  Speaker 3: out of touch.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're so old and we don't watch TV anymore.
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  Speaker 2: They are they celebrities anyway, That's not really the purpose
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  Speaker 2: of our conversation today.
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  Speaker 3: Well, Shane Warne's son Jackson is on the show and
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  Speaker 3: he's kind of been receiving a little bit of heat
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  Speaker 3: lately for his fussy eating habits.
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  Speaker 1: You know what it is, Jackson?
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  Speaker 2: The food soup is that good?
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  Speaker 1: I think? So.
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  Speaker 3: I've only had like ten different foods before.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, you don't like to experience new foods. Yeah, oh
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  Speaker 2: this is huge for you. Then, yeah, so the heat's
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  Speaker 2: really on this guy. I mean, he's got a very
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  Speaker 2: limited palette, I think you might say. And somehow, and
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  Speaker 2: I'm not bagging out Warning the dad or Simone the mum.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not not even bagging out Jackson himself.
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  Speaker 3: Well, it's well known that Warning himself will take a
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  Speaker 3: tin of spaghetti too the hotel with him because he
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  Speaker 3: really loves his baked beans and spaghetti.
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  Speaker 2: Well, and so we've got this situation where it might
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  Speaker 2: be a case of well, if it's okay for dad,
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  Speaker 2: it's okay for me. What's good for the good is
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  Speaker 2: good for the gander. But this fussy eating thing, like,
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  Speaker 2: we struggle with it ourselves, right, six kids, all of
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  Speaker 2: them at different times for different reasons. Except one. We've
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  Speaker 2: got one child who is an absolute human vacuum. She
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  Speaker 2: will eat anything and just loves food and always has
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  Speaker 2: from day one. Face was always covered in food. But
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  Speaker 2: fussy itting's a bit of a challenge for most parents
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  Speaker 2: with at least one of their children, right, definitely.
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  Speaker 3: And I think one of the things that we struggle
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  Speaker 3: with as parents is that, unlike our children, we actually
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  Speaker 3: get bored with the same foods day and day out.
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  Speaker 2: So let's have a conversation in just a sec and uncover, explore,
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  Speaker 2: unpack some of the challenges that we've dealt with, and
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  Speaker 2: a little bit of science, but also mainly just some
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  Speaker 2: take home messages about how you can help your kids
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  Speaker 2: if they're fussy eat is whether they're two or twenty two.
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  Speaker 3: For a happier family, try a Happy Families membership, because
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  Speaker 3: a happy family doesn't just happen.
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  Speaker 2: Details at happy families dot com dot au. It's the
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  Speaker 2: Happy Family's podcast, Doctor Justin Coulson and my wife and
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  Speaker 2: podcast partner, missus Happy Families. Kylie talking about fussy eating
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  Speaker 2: off the back of the story about Jackson warn who
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  Speaker 2: only eats yellow food. He's twenty one years old. He's
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  Speaker 2: tried tomato soup for the first time as a twenty
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  Speaker 2: one year old.
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  Speaker 3: That's pretty I just I can't actually wrap my head
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  Speaker 3: around that.
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  Speaker 2: When you told me the story. So unfortunately, we're going
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  Speaker 2: to do this better next time. But Kylie told me
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  Speaker 2: the story while we were driving. She says, justin get
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  Speaker 2: a load of this, and she reads me the story
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  Speaker 2: and seriously, my mouth dropped to the floor. I'm like,
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  Speaker 2: no way, how is that even possible? Hasn't even tried
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  Speaker 2: tomato soup, I mean tomato. So it goes in mac
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  Speaker 2: and cheese, it goes into buttered chicken tomato, so it
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  Speaker 2: goes everywhere. I'm thinking, how can you know?
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  Speaker 1: It's about as Australian as you get.
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  Speaker 2: It's like meet by Australian. I know. Let's cutalog some
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  Speaker 2: fussy eating moments with our children.
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  Speaker 1: Well, we've had it lots of over years.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, So the one that we're struggling with at the
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  Speaker 3: moment is one of our daughters is just really particular
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  Speaker 3: about what goes on her plate, so fussy.
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  Speaker 1: She's very, very fussy.
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  Speaker 3: But what's so funny about it is that she will
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  Speaker 3: actually go and grab when she looks at the dinner table,
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  Speaker 3: sees what we're eating, and just has a meltdown pretty
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  Speaker 3: much every night.
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  Speaker 2: And this has been going on for probably four years,
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  Speaker 2: a long long time. So she's ten. For those of
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  Speaker 2: you who know I found me, you know which one
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  Speaker 2: it is now, this is the ten year old, but
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  Speaker 2: that she's always been fussy and super fussy for like
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  Speaker 2: the last four or five years.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, And you know, so I'll make this beautiful
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  Speaker 3: salad with all the colors of the rainbow in it,
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  Speaker 3: and she'll take one look at it and just have
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  Speaker 3: a meltdown.
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  Speaker 2: And that's one of our rules, right. We have lots
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  Speaker 2: of color on our plate, because we know that the
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  Speaker 2: more colorful you plate, the healthier it is, so long
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  Speaker 2: as of course it's nutritious food and not lollies, that's right.
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  Speaker 3: But we also have a rule that you know, I
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  Speaker 3: only make one meal, so I'm not catering for fifteen
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  Speaker 3: different appetites here. We have one meal. And one night
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  Speaker 3: we kind of worked out that this was not working,
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  Speaker 3: and we said to Lili's what is your solution, what
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  Speaker 3: are you going to do about and she said, well,
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  Speaker 3: I'm going to make my own dinner.
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  Speaker 2: We said, hello lujah.
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  Speaker 3: And so we kind of just we thought, let's give
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  Speaker 3: this a go and see where it goes. So here
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  Speaker 3: she goes to the fridge and she takes out her
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  Speaker 3: handful of spinach and a handful of cherry tomatoes, and
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  Speaker 3: a carrot and a cucumber and some strawberries if we've
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  Speaker 3: got them, or some berries of some sort, maybe some apple,
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  Speaker 3: and she cuts herself a salad and puts them on
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  Speaker 3: her plate, all individually, and so she's eating exactly the
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  Speaker 3: same foods that we're eating, but she has to do
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  Speaker 3: it a certain way to make it impalatable to her,
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  Speaker 3: and as you watch her eat, she actually eats each
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  Speaker 3: food individually.
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  Speaker 2: It's a really great learning there, because sometimes our kids
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  Speaker 2: do want to eat the same food that we're eating,
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  Speaker 2: they just don't want to eat it the way we've
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  Speaker 2: organized it. So you don't give the child the toss salad,
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  Speaker 2: keep the foods separate so they're not sort of jumbling
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  Speaker 2: all the flavors together, and that might solve it. Or
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  Speaker 2: maybe they just don't like the texture of one thing
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  Speaker 2: that's gone in and therefore you can get around that
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  Speaker 2: by excluding that food. I mean, it's not a it's
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  Speaker 2: not going to solve every issue, but just by giving
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  Speaker 2: her the autonomy and saying to her, Okay, if you
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  Speaker 2: don't like it, that's fine. You go to the fridge
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  Speaker 2: and you choose what you're going to eat, and so
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  Speaker 2: long as it's colorful and so long as it meets
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  Speaker 2: our food rules, then go for your life. That's solved
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  Speaker 2: a lot of dramas and dilemmas.
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  Speaker 1: It really has.
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  Speaker 3: I think another we have another child, and she has
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  Speaker 3: a bit of a meltdown when anything new comes to
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  Speaker 3: her plate. She really struggles with new foods, and so
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  Speaker 3: one of the rules that we have kind of created
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  Speaker 3: in our home is we try new things. And the
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  Speaker 3: way we've kind of worked with that with our children
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  Speaker 3: is they have to have three mouthfuls, not three little nibbles,
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  Speaker 3: you know, three pretend mouthfuls, but three solid mouthfuls. And
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  Speaker 3: with this particular child, what has been amazing about it
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  Speaker 3: is that she cries for the first two and by
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  Speaker 3: the time she gets to the third, more times than not,
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  Speaker 3: she's kind of like, Oh, this isn't so bad after all.
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  Speaker 2: It's really funny as well when you look at what
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  Speaker 2: the research shows, so believe it or not, children do
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  Speaker 2: actually have food preferences. Sometimes they're not being fussy. Sometimes
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  Speaker 2: they just don't like a certain food.
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  Speaker 1: Look at you and I, there are things that we
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  Speaker 1: just don't like.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, like coriana. I can't eat the stuff. It's like,
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  Speaker 2: we don't know what your problem is.
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  Speaker 1: Coriander is the food of the gods.
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  Speaker 2: Just if I get it near me, I feel like
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to die. It's literally like kryptonite. But the
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  Speaker 2: other thing is just thinking about these stories about our
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  Speaker 2: fussy eating kids. Sometimes they just want to be in control.
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  Speaker 2: They want it their way, they want to they want
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  Speaker 2: to feel like they've got a sense of control over
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  Speaker 2: what's happening on their plate. And so I think that
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  Speaker 2: that's part of what's going on for them. They just
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  Speaker 2: want that. Then there's sense reissues and sensitivities. There's big
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  Speaker 2: emotional moments, you know, like if everyone comes to the
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  Speaker 2: table stress sometimes it's just not nice to be at
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  Speaker 2: dinner together. And then there's that whole the technical term
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  Speaker 2: for it, I'm about to impress you with the big
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  Speaker 2: word A you're ready, It's called food neophobia.
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  Speaker 3: Food neophobia.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so neo means new Phobia means fear of so
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  Speaker 2: fear of new foods. Most kids actually don't have fear
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  Speaker 2: of new foods, but sometimes people think that they're afraid
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  Speaker 2: of the new food because it's that thing where new
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  Speaker 2: food is actually distressing because I'm unfamiliar with it.
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  Speaker 3: Well, I think that that's where our rule for the
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  Speaker 3: three mouthfuls has been really helpful because it lets the
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  Speaker 3: tire because it's including me as well. There are times
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  Speaker 3: where we put things on the table that stretching me on.
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  Speaker 3: I've never been a big seafood person, but you love seafood.
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  Speaker 1: So when salmon was first put on my plate, that
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  Speaker 1: was really scary for me.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I recognized in you that my children were
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  Speaker 3: watching as well, so I highlight and I let them know.
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  Speaker 3: This is not something that I would normally eat. This
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  Speaker 3: is something that I don't actually enjoy eating. But I
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  Speaker 3: also recognize that it's really good for me, and so
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  Speaker 3: I'm willing to give it a go.
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  Speaker 2: I think that's a critical take home message. We've got
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  Speaker 2: to be a model. And now you're even eating fish parcels,
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: you know, wrapped in foil, thrown in the ovenor on
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: the barbecue with the other Oh, you're not putting the
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: olives on, You're still wanted the olives.
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  Speaker 1: I don't like.
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  Speaker 2: We have such different food preferences. Amazing.
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  Speaker 3: But the other day my sister had a laugh because
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  Speaker 3: I said that we had to have garlic prawns.
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  Speaker 2: Was the last time you won't touch prawns? You never
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  Speaker 2: ate prawns. So the take home messages for today as follows.
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  Speaker 2: First of all, if you're struggling with fussy eaters, just
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  Speaker 2: recognize that maybe they don't like the food, but you
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  Speaker 2: might also just want to encourage them to have a
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  Speaker 2: couple of bites and then reintroduce the food in a
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  Speaker 2: couple of weeks and get them to have a couple
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  Speaker 2: of bites, and then try again in a couple of
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  Speaker 2: weeks and have a couple of bites.
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  Speaker 1: Well, you think about it.
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  Speaker 3: When we have a brand new baby and as they
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  Speaker 3: move into solid foods, we recognize and know that for
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  Speaker 3: them we have to introduce her numerous times. Science, you know,
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  Speaker 3: supports that theory, and as we get older, it's no different.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, the next one would be be a good example,
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  Speaker 2: like just make sure that you're not making a big
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  Speaker 2: deal about what foods you will and won't eat. Try
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  Speaker 2: new things, make a deal about the fact that you're
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  Speaker 2: trying new things, and if you don't like it, be
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  Speaker 2: okay with that, but also highlight with the kids. I
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  Speaker 2: didn't like that so much, but I think I should
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  Speaker 2: try it one more time, just to make sure, you know. Like,
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  Speaker 2: let's say it's fish and you don't like fish. Tried
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  Speaker 2: the fish, didn't like it, but you can do fish
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  Speaker 2: lots of different ways, so I might try it one
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  Speaker 2: other way before I decide that I'm never having fish again,
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  Speaker 2: And I.
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  Speaker 1: Think there's a real value in doing that, isn't there.
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  Speaker 2: And you might actually discover that you've found your new
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  Speaker 2: favorite meal once you try it the new way. And
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: the third thing, make sure that when you serve your
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  Speaker 2: kids meals, the plates should be colorful, but there should
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  Speaker 2: be foods on the plate that they will eat and
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  Speaker 2: encourage them to eat what they love, but also just
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  Speaker 2: have that bite of the stuff that they're not used
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  Speaker 2: to eating. I reckon that's probably about it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that when you're introducing your children to
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: new foods, it's just really important that there are other
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  Speaker 3: things that they enjoy on the plate, but you know,
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  Speaker 3: it's not so overwhelming to them, and it might just be,
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  Speaker 3: you know, a couple of mouthfuls of something that's not
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  Speaker 3: so nice so that they can mush in with everything else.
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  Speaker 2: Hopefully that's a helpful take home message. If you've enjoyed
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: the podcast, we'd love to hear about it. You can
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: send us an email podcasts at Happy Families dot com
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: dot you, or please jump online and visit the place
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: where you download your podcasts and leave us a rating
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: and review. I love it when we get these. Kylie,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: You've become the star of the show. Recently, we've had
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: another five star review, this from Tbkwills who said.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: I'm so sad I've only just found Justin and Kylie Coulson,
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: where my eldest child is almost fourteen. They offer fabulous
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: advice that I wish I had in my parenting TOOLBLOS
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: much much earlier.
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  Speaker 1: It just so beautiful.
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  Speaker 3: I desperately want to turn my family's unhappiness around, and
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  Speaker 3: so I'm adopting a better late than never attitude. Thanks Justin,
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: and love how Kylie has joined the podcast. You're great,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: but the two of you are better. Ah.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: I love that, love that. Thanks so much for the
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: five star review. CBK Wills. Do what tbk Wills done
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: and leave us a rating and review wherever you get
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: your podcasts, we really appreciate that's what it's you doing
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: that that helps other people find the podcast and hopefully
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: make their families happier, like we're hopefully making your family happier. Oh,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: by the way, we make families happier with our Happy
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Families memberships. You can get all the details at happy
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: families dot com dot au, or you can follow us
• 13:18
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• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Justin Coulson's Happy Families