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Senior Ghosting · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mamas. Dear mamas, did
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: you hear that more and more people over fifty five
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: who are dating again keep getting ghosted just like the
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: kids do. Well, let's ask our American mamas.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Alma mama, she said.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: And joining us now are American mamas Terry Edville and
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Kimberly Burlison. So ghosted you know, you're talking to somebody,
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  Speaker 1: you're dating them, and then all of a sudden they
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: just don't return your texts anymore, they don't like any
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: of your posts on Facebook, and they just don't return
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: your calls. They're they're ghosts. They're gone. So this is
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: this is happening for folks over fifty five.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Well, this is what I have learned. So I thought
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  Speaker 3: this was a very generational thing because.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: My mostually a millennial and younger.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, because they all talk about it like this
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: is a very normal thing. If you're going out with
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: somebody and you don't really click, you just don't ever
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: communicate again, right.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Which is I think there was a way for that
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: generation to avoid conflicts absolutely, which at some point I
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: think you need to learn to deal with conflict. You
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: need to learn to have tough conversation.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: The difference is even that it's acceptable. Yeah, so they
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: are accepting of that. So there doesn't even need to
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: be a conversation because both sides accept this. And like
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Sonny told me, she said, after a couple of days,
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: if a guy ghosts you, yeah, it kind of like,
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: oh I really liked him.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she said.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: If it's a few months, she goes, you're hurt by it,
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: but you also move on. So I'm watching a show
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: Michelle Obama actually is the executive producer, but it's called
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: The Later Daters, and it's on Netflix, and it's people
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: dating fifty five and older. And I am addicted. So
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: I watched the entire season, Like in one sitting, You're adictus,
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I'm addicted.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: To TV show produced by Michelle Over.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: I know, I know, it shocked me when I first
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: saw it, and I thought I got to finish it though.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: But it's these people fifty five and older and they're dating,
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: and so this is the first time they're really experiencing
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  Speaker 3: ghosting because a lot of them have been married many
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: years or couple of times or widowed or whatever, and
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: the the whole ghosting thing affects them differently. And there's
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: this one couple it's kind of interesting to go on
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: a date. And while they're on the date, she's saying,
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: you look so familiar. You just look so familiar. And
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: he's like, I don't.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Know what I know? Were you?
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: And then when when they when they exchanged phone numbers
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: and she's putting his phone number in her phone, she's like, oh,
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  Speaker 3: you're in my phone. They didn't date before the date,
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: and so she's like, now I'm curious why did we
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: stop talking?
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Like what was the reason?
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: She really not remember? She didn't remember?
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: And she goes an act or did she really?
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: I mean it could have been, but she seemed like
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: she didn't remember and remember and he didn't remember her,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: and she's like, uh, something's up here, Like I you know,
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: I'm more curious about why we stopped talking.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Are you sure the show wasn't produced by Joe Biden?
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Well, one thing I thought is you know what, maybe
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: that's a good thing for old people. We don't forget
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: if you ghost me that I don't remember we ever
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: went on a date.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: So keep going.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: What's so so said one another day didn't work out
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: or anything? But what I think happened is she got ghosted.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: She got ghosted and she couldn't remember if she got
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: ghosted or not what it was, but or she didn't
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: have the ability to say it. But I think she
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: got ghosted.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: So this is a thing you said.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: No, I think it's harder for people older dealing with
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: it because we're old school where you do, like you
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: were just saying, oh, you confront, you confront you say, listen,
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I really liked you. But you know, because we kind
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: of own up to things.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Well and there's awful, there's also an offering of closure there,
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  Speaker 1: like yes, yes, not just what happened to this person?
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  Speaker 1: Did they just disappeared on the face of the earth.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Do I need to call the cops?
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's how we think. That's how we think. So
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: I can see it would be hard for people over
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: fifty five to be in the dating world and that happened.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: You know. Well, I mean I even go back further,
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  Speaker 2: like in the forties and fifties and sixties, when you're
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: going to run into the person that you've gone out with,
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: whether it was church or school.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: You do not go back to the forties, fifties.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: And yeah, because that was the era that I think
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  Speaker 2: I was supposed to be that's not really I really
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  Speaker 2: think that that was when I was supposed to being
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: fair enough. But so you know, you had to confront
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: these are social skills that you have.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: So delivering difficult news in a nice way, that's yes,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: that's a social skill that's important to have.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: So those are the forties and fifties they raised us, yes,
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  Speaker 2: and so we were taught right. We were taught social
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: skills right. And now you know, it's so easy to
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: use your phone or not use your phone, right.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: And you go anywhere.
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  Speaker 2: I mean I even saw some people that were outside
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: waiting on a bus. You know, I was driving downtown
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  Speaker 2: and not one of them was talking to each other,
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  Speaker 2: like if they were all on their phone, because you
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  Speaker 2: depend like that is your friend, is your phone. So
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  Speaker 2: when they ghost, of course it's the easiest. They may
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: not you know, they may have met on tender, they
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  Speaker 2: may have met somewhere, so they're never going to run
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: into each other. So you don't have that fear of oh, okay,
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I'm going to see them in Sunday school. I need
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: to say something. It's I'll never see them again. Where
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: do I care? So they ghost, but it's to me,
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: it's just so rude. I mean, there has to be
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: some sort of closure, like, look, you're I think you're tremendous,
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: but this is just not This is isn't it? And
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  Speaker 2: I don't want to waste your time and I do
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: want you to know I think you're a phenomenal human
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: being blah blah blah, but it's the easy way is
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: to me is yeah.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: So that's had just now habit though that apparently gen
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: X and boomers are picking up.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Maybe there needs to be a button. Maybe there needs
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  Speaker 2: to be something where if they're going to ghost, they
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: can just click it so the person's like, Okay, I'm
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: not going to hear from them, because I think I
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: think that those week that week or two when you're
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: going is he is he? Not? Is he going to
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: reach out to me? Has to be torture. So there
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: has to be a button where it's like, maybe it's
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: maybe the ghost, yeah, just fake, I'm out ghost.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I think I think it should just be two words
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: and scene. Almost the director website Americanground Radio dot com
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: slash mamas and click on the ass of the MoMA's
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: but Terry Nettville can't really were listen. Thank you so much,
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: thank you