Latest / What's Up Fool? Podcast / Matt Fulchiron - Ep 594

Transcript

Matt Fulchiron - Ep 594 · What's Up Fool? Podcast

• 0:27
  Speaker 1: What's up, fool?
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: What's up, fool podcast? Welcome, everybody. We have our guest here.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Matt Fultron.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: What's up, man?
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Great to be here. So full charge.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: Before we know you're here, look.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: Thanks so much for having me on, man.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: Ramon.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: 842.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that is the best song intro. Who sings that?
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: Who is that?
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Voodoo Glowskulls.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Voodoo Glowskulls. From Riverside. Yeah. Nice.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: The original song is called Fat Randy, but they redid
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: it too. Felipe.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Nice, man.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: You shot that for a special, right?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, one of the specials. Wow. Hell yeah. No, we
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: shot it for this podcast only. Oh, okay, okay.
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: Oh, shit.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah. Damn, hell yeah.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: So it's been a while.
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I thought it was the Mighty Boss Tones for
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: a second. They'd probably hate it if I said that.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: But it's pretty awesome.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: They get along. It ain't like rancid.
• 1:19
  Speaker 6: Are you looking at those?
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: We did the... My first special, I'm not like that
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: no more. That's... At the Alex Theater. Yeah, they used
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Voodoo Glow School for that thing. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: You guys.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Because when people hear that song at the show,
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: they yell out, what's up, fool? I got a picture
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: right here of Nick Cannon and I when Dave Chappelle
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: came back from Africa. He did a special at the
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: comedy store. No, he didn't do a special. He did
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: a one-hour show. And then he came back a year later.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: And he had Nick Cannon and Al Madrigal. Oh, that's right.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Nick Cannon does stand-up, huh? I forgot about that.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: He started when he was a kid, right?
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: So do check this out. No lie. I took a
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: picture with Nick Cannon. That's awesome, man. A year later,
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: somebody come and ask me for child support. Whoa. Damn, bro.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Look at this close-up, bro. I look like John Lovitz.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I look like the main actor from.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: That HBO Cowboy show. I can't think about it right now.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: I think what you look like is what you said
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: before the show started.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Oh, you look like a lawyer that will get you
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: 10 years in jail.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: In that picture or no?
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: No, right now with the thing. Just take the deal, bro.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Just take the plea.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Just take the deal. I don't feel like working today.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: That's an awesome picture.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: No, bro. I'm a pastor, bro.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Preach.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: That takes 10% from everybody. Yeah. Tax-free, baby. My camera
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: right here, man.
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: Buy these... Felipe Sparks the Candles. This Saturday, I'm going
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: to be in Grand Prairie, Texas with Ralph Barbosa.
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: Nice.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: Alfred Robles. Yeah. Carlos Miller. Brandy.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Brandy the actress?
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Brandy the comedian.
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: Does she have a last name or she's just Brandy?
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: She's just Brandy. Oh, okay. Brandy Boyd.
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: Oh, Brandy.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, hi there, dude.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: And I guess Jaime's going to perform.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: Hell yeah.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: And Alfred Robles was going to be the Battle of
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: the Lips.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: Does that show have a name or is it just
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: all you guys?
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: It's going to be Jaime.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Wait, let me put on my glasses. I can't see
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: the photo.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: It's going to be Jaime Garcia performing.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: That's his last name. I always forget.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: And then it's going to be Alfred Robles.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: Got to make sure you got a close-up camera on
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: the whole show.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: And then Alfa Robles. Alfa Robles over here.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Can you do Willie Barsena?
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: He's got a great look, man. I dig the new
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: cowboy hat thing.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Hey, man. Whatever works. He's killing it. Hell yeah. Killing it.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Killing it. Killing it. Alfa Robles. Alfa Robles and I.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Alfa Robles started off chilling. Just chilling and now. In
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: the outskirts of the comedy club.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: He'd come and watch shows, right?
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And then one day a fool went up and
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: he started hanging around with us for about a long time,
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: working with, he got a Rodrigo job somewhere.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, loss prevention.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he started hanging around with us, with Gabriel, going
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: to all the parties. He put in a lot of
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: work to be where he's at, bro. Not even, Like,
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: not even, I wouldn't even say comedy work, but just.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: In general.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: In general, like, hanging out, like.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: Socializing.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Networking.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Losing sleep. Losing jobs. Right. Yeah, all that.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Driving to, like, gigs, like, far away, you know.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Far, bro.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: And I feel that's what.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: 60 bucks.
• 5:20
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel that's what stand-up comedy is. You need
• 5:22
  Speaker 6: those stories to just, like, build you, you know, like.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Like, oh, yeah, I did a gig in fucking Santa
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Maria for like $ 80, you know?
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: And you're just always going up in front of other audiences.
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know how people do it.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: Well, people really don't do it if they make it
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: online first. They really can't just concentrate all that experience.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: There was a virus of 2025.
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: Hmm?
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: There was a virus of 2025, and I couldn't make
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: it real. That's their story.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a virus.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: There was a virus, and I couldn't put a reel up. Yeah.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Internet was down, bro. That was the hardest. The internet
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: was down, bro. I couldn't upload.
• 6:00
  Speaker 6: But no, but El San Felipe, the thing about stand-up is, like,
• 6:04
  Speaker 6: you have, like, a good, like, eight years or, like,
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: seven years of just, like, shitty gigs, you know?
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: And that's what, like, just builds your character, you know,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: I feel.
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: I don't think you ever really lose those shitty gigs completely.
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: You'll always take a local gig and get there and go,
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: what the fuck am I doing here?
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: You're right. And you do it anyway.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're right.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: And you drove very far and you made little money.
• 6:27
  Speaker 6: Because it's still fun to do something because I'll still
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: take a lot of gigs where it'll be like, I'll
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: just say yes to everything and then the day comes,
• 6:33
  Speaker 6: I'm like, fuck, dude.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: You say yes, but I can't back out now, you know?
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: I'm going to Pomona right now. I'm driving out to
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: fucking Palm Springs right now.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Are you?
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: No, but I take gigs like that.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Because I go, yeah, I'll cancel it if something good
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: comes along. Nothing good ever comes along.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: I'm sitting in traffic.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: I got a gig way out there one time. I
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: didn't know Coachella was happening the same day. I was
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: in traffic for nine hours going to Palm Springs with
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: no clue what was going on because I'm that old.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: I'm glad I'm married, bro. Because somebody would have told me, Felipe,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I have a gig. Someone just canceled me and I
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: just found your number. I know you're big time and
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: you're busy. $ 500 Palm Springs right now. There's weed. They're
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: going to give you the president's weed even though you're
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: there for one night, even if you want to return
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: and go home.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Vegan food?
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: We'll order vegan food before you get there. Bring your
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: own openers and we'll pay them $ 100 each. I'll be like, listen, bro,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: just give me the $ 700. I'll pay him $ 50 each,
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: and I'll do the gig.
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: So you're saying if he wasn't married.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: You would take that.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I would take that. Yeah.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Because he'd be like, fuck it, let's go have fun.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: It'll be like better than doing a guest spot locally
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: where I got to do 10 minutes and get off.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I'll go over there and I'll fuck around for an
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: hour and a half.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: Cold beans in the green room.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, record it. It'll be fun. And then go home,
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: do crowd work, give them a totally different show than
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: they were expecting. Because they don't know I'm going to
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: be there. They just randomly need a comic.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: And that's a stand-up in you where you're like, fuck yeah.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do it in an hour?
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Fuck yeah, dude.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: You never feel like you can take time off or
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: relax and stand up.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: Even though when you got into it, you thought it
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: was going to be the most relaxing job of all time.
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: I thought I was just going to be sitting around
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: watching TV all day.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Then get up and tell jokes.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: I know there's a podcast, man, but I brought you
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: guys here because I have timeshares in Valencia. Okay. I'm listening.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: They're building a new lake right there where the Colossus
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: used to be. They're going to build a new lake
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: over there, and they're going to put in some bass,
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: and they'll probably connect that lake to that lake over there,
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Lakeview Terrace. And right now we're just selling the first
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: lots right now. They're going to build a bunch of
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: condos and a golf course. The first lots right now,
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: they're going to start going for just the lot, $ 350, 000.
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: All right. That sounds like a good deal.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: That's in my price range.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Half of it right now. And then, like, in two years,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: we're going to start building the homes, which is going
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: to be a four-bedroom. And you could share that with, like,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: nine people of your choosing. Maybe you're a bunch of comics.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: You got to put in $ 50, 000 each. You got it, buddy.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: 10 comics?
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You might as well film it.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: How's that lobster? It's on its way right now, man.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: But I got one more thing to say before that
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: lobster shows up. Okay. You guys like dogs?
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Sure.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: We're thinking about building a dog park under the condos.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Oh, I like that.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Like that militia, man?
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: No, dog parks.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Underground.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: Actually, it's not dog park, man. It's dog racing.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: And you can bet on the dogs, right?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a bunch of greyhounds, bro, from Tijuana and Mexicali.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: I like it.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: It's going to be called Lake Chuyito.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: I'm in.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man. People are making fun of my coat, bro.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: I think it looks good.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm trying to sell, like, really bad jewelry. Trinkets.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: You're Don Roberto, homie.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Listen, man, I got these comals that are made in
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: Utah by the Mormons that hate sports. Like, they hate
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: all team sports. Like, these Mormons, what they did was
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: they went around their neighborhood in Provo, Utah, and they
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: knocked down all the nets of the volleyball courts and
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: took down all the basketball courts. The baskets for nobody
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: to play because when our religion is about everybody loving
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: each other, not individualism, you know. Oh, and like. You
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: try to be a team. You try to be a
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: basketball player or play sports. You're all about how many
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: points did I score? Got rid of all that. Huh.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: And that's an entire neighborhood?
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: In Utah.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: That's no good, man. What else is it? Then you're
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: just supposed to pray all day or something? What do
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: you do? Can you play board games? What can you do?
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: You ride around on your 10-speed all day with a
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: white T-shirt and a black tie.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: It's like Footloose, but for basketball. Son of a bitch.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: I don't like that.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: One bit.
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: You know what's funny about your thing? He used to
• 11:42
  Speaker 6: wear those a lot during Last Comic Standing.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: What?
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: The coats.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you wore suits on Last Comic Standing for sure.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: The ties.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Remember that? You do too.
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: I wear them all the time. Yeah, I like it.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I used to wear the coat with
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: a tie. Yeah. All the time.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: Little ties too. It was little, little ties.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to tie it, brother. I was
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: in Bethesda, Maryland with Max Amini. Uh-huh. And a fan
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: recognized me because I was still last coming standing. I
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: was 26. He goes, she wanted to go talk to
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: her friend. I just saw Felipe for last coming standing.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: And he was wearing that little tie. And that was
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: not on purpose, by the way.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: Was it little or was it skinny?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: No, bro. That's a long tie. Yeah. But they didn't
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: know that you're supposed to put it all the way
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: down to your back button. I didn't know.
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: So you tied it up to here?
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: So I had it right here.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Can we look up Felipe 2010 pictures?
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I did not know.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: Last time I was standing there.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not embarrassed that I didn't know. I just did
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: not know.
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: I remember you winning that. I saw it on TV live, man.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: And the tie was thin, too.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Bunch of balloons dropped.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: That one, they dressed me.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: That was your look right there.
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: That's not terrible.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: Bro, that's a leather tie, bro.
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: That's leather, man. That's New Wave.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: That's the 80s. That's the 80s one, bro.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you look like you're in the Strokes.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: I was just about to say, give him a guitar, man.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you did look like you were in the band.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Low Strokes.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: That's for Werewolves Jr., Mike Kaplan, Tommy John again, and
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: the guy who passed away, he lost.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: Didn't you say that they filmed a couple of endings,
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: like a couple of winners, because they didn't know who
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: was going to win?
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: They filmed losing results. Losing? Like, what was it like
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: to win last comic standing?
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, so different reactions, right?
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then they give you another one, and
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: they ask you, man, is just in case you lose
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: what you got. Because just in case you lose, you
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: don't want to do an interview. You want to say,
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: fuck you.
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: So they already got it. Where's television?
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but when they announced you as the winner, that
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: was like the only version of a winner, right?
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: What?
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: Like they didn't, yeah.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Hell no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I was on stage
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: with Tom and John again, standing like that, everybody in
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: the audience was yelling out, Felipe, Felipe, Felipe.
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: And they had to calm down. And then he said,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Can we get a Tommy? And then that lady in
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: the front said, Tommy. And he gave her a thumbs up.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I felt like when Jeb Bush once said, can I
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: get an applause break?
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Pozo, it was your hometown, too, you know?
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was my hometown, bro. And it was a
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: good time, a good place. Yeah, Matt, the hometown advantage, bro.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: I felt like the gladiator. If you were in the audience.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: in the match.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: Where'd you tape?
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Alex? Glendale, yeah.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: Glendale, yeah. I was in season four.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: I did... Season seven. I was season seven. Yeah, yeah.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: You were in season four? Yeah, I only made the
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: top 40. I was only on for a little bit.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Is that when people were living in the houses?
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: I didn't make it that far. I lived in the
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: Glendale Hilton for three days.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: I know exactly where you stood at.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: I know exactly where you stood. The Red Lion something bar, right? Yeah.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it was nearby. I remember I was
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: there the year Gabriel was in the top 10.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: So you were top 40.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: And so we weren't allowed to leave the hotel, but
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: we all lost. So we're like, fuck it, we're going
• 15:11
  Speaker 4: to go to that bar next door. And he was
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: there with a bunch of his friends ordering food and stuff.
• 15:16
  Speaker 5: Were you there, dude?
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Were you part of the... Because I remember that when
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I thought.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't audition that year.
• 15:22
  Speaker 6: Because I thought when you were going to be on
• 15:24
  Speaker 6: Last Comic Santa, you're going to be living in that
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: mansion with all the other... They made it like a
• 15:27
  Speaker 6: big brother, right?
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: The first season, and then I think all the way
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: through the fourth, they were on the Queen Mary in
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: Long Beach.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: And I think they just did away with that whole thing.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: Because the first season, they're all living together. There's cameras.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: They're fighting. Tammy Pescatelli's mad at somebody.
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: Claiming her Italian heritage.
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: Like the whole thing.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: So you were top 40? Yeah. And you had that
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: big old meeting with the producers and everybody. Yeah. And
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: you had drinks. And then at that moment, you knew
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: you're not going to go through?
• 15:58
  Speaker 4: No, I didn't know at that moment. I knew after
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: the– they just didn't call. There was a top 40.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: That was the second episode of the season.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: And I didn't get picked for the top 10. That's
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: when I knew. They do it live. And they do
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: it– you know this.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: They do the whole thing where it's like– The next
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: winner is, and they pause for like 15 seconds.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: That's what happens.
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: Because they want to get all the camera footage of
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: people sweating their nuts off.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: I remember I auditioned when I was like 19. I
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: remember just being out there. And it was just so,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: they wanted to get reactions.
• 16:35
  Speaker 6: And then after that, they already knew who people wanted
• 16:37
  Speaker 6: to audition, you know, like basically be agents.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: What did they tell you?
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: They were like, all right, guys, just be outside. Like,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: just scream and be happy.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, you were out here. I thought you were auditioning.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: No, I was waiting in line.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I slept outside the Hollywood Improv.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: They used to pitch it as, like, anybody can do it.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: No, dude.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: But it's really, like, you waited in line, right?
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: And now, I mean, they really just had everybody's agent
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: call up.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: How far did you get through the door?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Not far, bro.
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: Like, I was at the end.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: So you didn't get to perform?
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: No, dude. It wasn't until, like.
• 17:09
  Speaker 6: It wasn't until like 2014 when somebody messaged me on
• 17:13
  Speaker 6: Facebook and they're like, oh, do you want to come
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: for an audition?
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: And I actually went to an audition.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: At the improv.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: But I remember like, and they were still having people
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: line up because.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: They want that shot.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: They want that shot and they wanted to make it
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: look like they're just picking people off the street. Yeah.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: You, you like, you, you waited in line too, right?
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: One of like the first seasons.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I did, bro.
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: You did, right?
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I remember seeing you in other comics.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: On what, the first season or something?
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: The first season. I stood in line. Bro, a big-ass line.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Of course. A big-ass line. Yeah. And there were people
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: there like, I wonder if it felt like they just
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: wanted to be famous.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Boom shakalaka, bro.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: People like that. A lot of people like that.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: There was this one white dude. I don't know where
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: he was from, but he had like caveman pants.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: And he was like a caveman pimp. Okay.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: That's high concept. That's double concept.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Then I got into a fight with somebody in the
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: front row who I know now was probably in the spectrum, bro.
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: But back then, I thought it was just a crazy motherfucker.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: I won't shut the fuck up and let him sleep.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Eccentric, bro.
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: They all used to come out to Hollywood, hang at
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: the comedy store, hang in wherever they could get in,
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: wait in line.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: I told that fool, put on a wrestling mask, bro,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: and just go talk to other people.
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, right.
• 18:32
  Speaker 6: Because at that time, I remember there was, like, no
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: vetting process. They would let anybody hang out at the
• 18:36
  Speaker 6: comedy store before it got corporate.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: What's his name?
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: Kevin?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: The Jesus guy?
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, the guy just like Jesus, and, like, you'd call
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: them Jesus, and he spoke to you as if you
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: were Jesus.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: It was kind of nice to have Jesus around.
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: Like, you would just start talking to him like he
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: was Jesus, and he would respond.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: LARPing, bro, yeah. I remember I made it through, and
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: then I didn't— One of the comedians there, she didn't
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: like me that season. And then when I went outside,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: that comedian asked my manager, Pat Buckles, oh, what are
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: you here with? She was my boy right here. And
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: then she made a face like, I fucked up.
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: No.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I fucked up. Like, I should have passed him
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: knowing that.
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: I always forget I got picked.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: But she didn't pass me. So I didn't make it through, right? Yeah.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: But the funny part was that I was okay. I'd
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: just go back.
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: Sure.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: To do my $ 100 room. Sure. But Doug Benson came
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: out and then Ann said no to him, right?
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: So he walked out bitter and upset. out of the showroom,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: out of the improv showroom, and he slams the door. Ant!
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Ant!
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Didn't like me.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Fucking Ant said.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: No to me. but it was good because they were
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: filming him the whole time yeah that's awesome my favorite
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: roast of my season was when they were showing all
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: the people they said no to in a series yeah
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: like quick montages and they were showing Greg Gerardo roasting
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: all of them yeah and one of the guys was
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: a comic that we know he said I'm half Latino
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: and half Asian And then it went to a set.
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: Greg Rogers. I'm going to stop you right there, man.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: I'm going to say yes to your Latino side, but
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: hell no to your Asian side.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: What's that fool's name? I know that guy, dude.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: That's embarrassing, man.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, that's the comedy class joke they teach you, right?
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: I'm going to say no to all your Asian shit,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: but yes to your.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: That's funny.
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: I remember, yeah, when I waited in line, there was
• 21:04
  Speaker 6: a guy called Mr. Househead who had a fucking dollhouse
• 21:10
  Speaker 6: and his head popped over, like through.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: So he was like way before TikTok, you know what
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I mean?
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: He was like 10 years before TikTok, ahead of his.
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: Time, bro.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Mr.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Househead, bro.
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: People used to do this shit off camera.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: So they'd have to go to Last Comic Standing to
• 21:25
  Speaker 4: get on camera with the house on your head.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: It was great.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: And then fucking who else?
• 21:30
  Speaker 6: The most eccentric guy that I knew out of all
• 21:32
  Speaker 6: his people was fucking... What's his name? Fucking caveman guy.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: Caveman Pimp or regular caveman?
• 21:38
  Speaker 4: Sorry.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Can you do me a favor? Can you put this
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: box right there?
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: To sit on?
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: No, just put it right there.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: To sit on. That's our coke hole host now. I
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: don't want to put it right.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: There.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: What's Homeboy's name?
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: The one.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: It's almost over.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: That's... Yeah, he's really funny.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Shout out to our new co-host, The Box.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: The Box of London.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: You've been wondering what happened to... Rodrigo. Replaced by a box.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: Tough break.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: AI, bro.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Jay London.
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's home.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: That's what it is. My parents walked out on me.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I never met my real ladder.
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: He was on the first season, though, or the second season.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: He made it far, man.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: No, he was on the second season with Alonzo Bowden.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: There you go, yeah.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: And Heffron.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: He won.
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Didn't you say you gave him a ride one time?
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: No, I saw him far away, and I just waved
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: at him, and he ran toward me. I said, go
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: to the valley.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: He's really funny, man. He was on Louis C.K. One
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: of Louis C.K. 's specials, they put him in the beginning.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: They left the opening acts in.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Oh, shit. He opens up for, no, he never did
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: open up for Jay London, for Louis C.K., right?
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: He did on his special at the Comedy Store, whatever
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: the one that is. And he's like a, he's an
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: alternate universe Mitch Hedberg. He's got like the one-liners and stuff.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he was good, man.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: He was funny. Have you heard his whole act?
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, 15 minutes of pop.
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: You think he had like a one-hour solid?
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: I don't know that he did the road and headlined
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: and stuff. I'm sure he could put it together. But
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: when you got short jokes, you know it's tough. I know.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's at least like, you got to do at
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: least like 60 one-liners.
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then you also just got to like keep
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: control of the room.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: I feel like Twitter killed a lot of that type
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: of writing.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: That's your schtick?
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's Jay's stick.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I'm quitting tomorrow.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: He's always like, I'm dying up here.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I'm dying up here.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: He's always trying to hide from the audience. It's really funny.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: I'm quitting tomorrow.
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's so many. How does Clymer know he's climbed?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: How does Clymer know he's climbed?
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: I don't know the punchline, but you get the gist, man.
• 24:13
  Speaker 6: But there's so many eccentric people like that in the beginning.
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: I remember when I first started doing comedy, there was
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: a guy that used to dress like Sam Kinison walking
• 24:20
  Speaker 6: around Hollywood Boulevard.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: I remember that guy.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Remember that guy, dude?
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: And there was a weirdo, Charlie Chaplin lady.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Charlie Chaplin lady?
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: No way.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah. There was a Charlie Chaplin walking around the comedy
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: store like this.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: She showed up at the comedy store?
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And that guy you're talking about that... There was
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: a guy that walked around looking like Sam Kinison, and
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: there was that weirdo guy that walked around looking like
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Bobcat Goldway. Yeah.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: All he did was little runs.
• 24:49
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I'm going to the, I'll be right back. Anybody want something?
• 24:53
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Bobcat Goldway, come here.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: Did you guys ever see Blue Iris walking around? Do
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: you know who that is?
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: Yes. I saw her. That was a long time, just
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: a couple, one time. Yeah. On the Ding Dong Show.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: She was.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: A porn star. But she was about, like, 65 years
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: old or something.
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: Whoa.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: She can't get pretty.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: She was on Howard Stern. I think she did the
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: porno in her 70s.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: And she was always hanging out. Like, that Ding Dong
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: show that Don Barris does brings, like, there's 10, 15
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: people right there that are just a little off the
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: normal path.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Have you ever sat and watched the whole Ding Dong show? Yeah.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I have too.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a good time doing that. It was
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: only like.
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: What?
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: I said sadly.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, but like.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I used to bring my dates there just to show
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: them that I'm... How good you are?
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: Because you know why? Because at that time... Nobody was there.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: You could do whatever you want.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Well, you can finger a girl. You can finger a girl.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know about that. Why did it?
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: Nobody was there, bro.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: You were what?
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I was fingering girls, dude.
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: Women.
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, put on the sexy music.
• 25:59
  Speaker 6: At the back of the comedy show, during the Ding
• 26:01
  Speaker 6: Dong show, because it was like a show that was
• 26:03
  Speaker 6: going on, like, what, one in the morning, two in
• 26:04
  Speaker 6: the morning?
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: And there's maybe, like, the hotel guests sitting in the
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: front that were staying next door.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Because they used to give them free tickets, and only, like,
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: five people showed up. This was before the podcast.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, bro, you invented the sacred ground.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Bro, it was crazy.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: Like, 2010, yeah.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: That girl's in AA now.
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: She's in AA, yeah.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: My dirty fingers, bro.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: She's watching this podcast, bro. She just dropped $ 10.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: But the Ding Dong show, that's the place where like.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: That was wild.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: And that's just all kinds of, you know, weird, weird,
• 26:37
  Speaker 4: like they just don't live normal lives and have their
• 26:40
  Speaker 4: like weird characters and stuff.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Do you remember this one guy? His name was Greg Hedges.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: He was a schizophrenic guy.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: I think so, yeah.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: And he always wore headphones, but he had the... He
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: always had headphones?
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: But once he got on stage, he was funny, bro.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 26:53
  Speaker 6: He'd be like saying his jokes all weird. I got
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: in a car accident and I hit a midget and
• 26:59
  Speaker 6: he was like, he got out of the car. He
• 27:00
  Speaker 6: was like, I'm, I'm not happy.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: He's like, who are you? Which one are you? Which
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: one are you?
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Which door are you?
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Um, he would walk around with like tinfoil and stuff.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Make sure whatever that's about.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: I don't let guys like that hang out at the
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: store anymore.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: No, that's a podcaster now.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Tinfoil.
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: Like, you know how the deal tinfoil hat that, that
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: whole thing.
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: Uh, He was ahead of his time. Way ahead of
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: his time, bro.
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: I heard when Robin Williams was there, he saw that
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: guy and was kind of freaked out. And somebody goes,
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: you know that guy? And he goes, I've never seen
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: that guy in my life. Which sounds like a big denial.
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: How often do you say that?
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: I've never seen that guy in my life. You usually say,
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: I don't know that guy. He took his jokes, bro.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: October 8th, I'm going to be in Bellflower at the
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Stand-Up Comedy Club with Martin Rizzo, Salud Trujillo, Two shows,
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. Saul will be taping his
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: half hour or one hour? Yes. Half hour.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: That dude's hilarious.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: Saul is taping his half hour. And I'm doing 15 minutes.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: And Rizzo is doing five or ten. Nice.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: That's a good show.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: And that will be at the stand-up comedy club of Bellflower, man.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: You were done showing Kansas, the state of Kansas?
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: Yes. I've only done Kansas City, which I know isn't
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: in Kansas. I've done Lawrence, Kansas. Opened up for Daniel Tosh,
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: and that was awesome.
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: That was a great show. Small theater.
• 28:30
  Speaker 4: Probably less than 1,000. College town. I was young enough
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: to play a college town at the time.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: Have you done the Stanford and Sons?
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: I never did that one.
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: That place has a reputation.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: There was a book I had earlier, but you can
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: look it up. on the website, um, the, the history
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: of the Kansas city comedy scene.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: Didn't they?
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: And I like, this is just rumors I've heard.
• 28:58
  Speaker 4: So I don't want to say this is true, but
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: I heard this is what podcasting is all about.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: I heard you want to know everything.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying this, even though I'm saying that.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: I am going to write the lot, the history of
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: the Latino comedy scene when I started and the open
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: mic scene, hopefully one day or just, It'll be just
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: the audible. But that's the history of the Kansas City
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: comedy club scene. Very interesting book. And it'll pretty much
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: break down Stanford and Sons and how the whole comedy
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: scene started. But I'll tell you right now from what
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: I read.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: Was there anything about, this is a rumor I heard.
• 29:39
  Speaker 4: Let me know if this is in the book. They
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: went to Mexico and robbed a drug lord and used
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: that money to start the club?
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: No, they did go to Mexico. They did what you said,
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: but the club was already there.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, so all that's true. It's just, it's more like.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: You know, you got to take a week off every.
• 30:01
  Speaker 2: Once in a while. The restaurant itself was called Stanford
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: and Sons.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: And it's owned by Stanford Glazier, right? Uh-huh. And they
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: said the guy looked like Cesar Romero. And somebody else.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: It was an attractive older man, you know.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: Right, right.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: A rough head.
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: They said this guy would go out of his way
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: just to look good and overspend and crazy, right?
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: So he has this restaurant. And, you know, he'd be
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: the type of guy that would just grab a phone
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: and go like this. I want my Ferrari now. What's
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: going on? Yeah. You know that guy? Yeah. And he
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: always had a hot chick, even in his 80s. Okay.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: In his 80s, he was just still pushing.
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Goals, baby.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Like 25 roads, right? Right.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Before rhino pillows.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Before, but he is the rhino pillow. Name after him.
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: Before the technology.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: So he had the restaurant, Stanford and Son. And then,
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: I wish I knew his name, but the comic, one
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: of the comics, that was a road comic, He went
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: in there and asked them if they could do a
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: comedy night on a Saturday, right?
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: Uh-huh.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: So it did well, the night, right? Yeah. Stanford and Sun,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: the owner said, yeah, whatever, Stanford. So he fucking, the room,
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: they didn't move, okay? Now it's Friday. Now it's Wednesday.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Now it's fucking, the comedy boom, bro. Comedy boom.
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: Weeks used to be Tuesday through Sunday.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, bro. So now it's booming, bro, like booming. So now,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: and the club is called Stanford and Sons because he
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: wanted people to recognize it because the time when they
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: opened it, the show was on.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right. Red Fox's show.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: So the show is going well, bro, and doing good.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: And fucking Robin Williams is performing in some theater, and
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: he stumbles inside.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: It took like an hour and a half to get set. Nice. Wow.
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: He just happened to be in Kansas City.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow. But the shows were not like opener feature headlines.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: They were just a bunch of guys doing 20.
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: Sure.
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: Showcase shows.
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: But they're all sold out, bro. Sold out.
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: Did you ever do that club?
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, with Gabriel Iglesias twice.
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: Did you like it?
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay. It's legendary. I met the owner.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: Okay, man.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: It's still around?
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: This is in the book. No, no, no, no, no.
• 32:45
  Speaker 2: I don't think so. This is in the book. But
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: since I don't know the owner, the writer of the books,
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: the writer of the book personally, can you find out
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: what the author is of that book? Give him a
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: big shout out. He said that the history of Kansas
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: City Comedy Club, he said that the owner, Stanford and son,
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: ran for mayor of Kansas City. Okay. Right?
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: But his son was running first, Craig. By the way,
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: I meant Craig. I don't even admit the father was.
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: Craig Glazer was running the club when I was there. Okay, okay. So,
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: what's his name? Mike Bridenstine. Mike Bridenstine wrote the book,
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: by the way. Okay, cool. So, him and I never met. But,
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: and the book is saying that Craig was running for
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: mayor of fucking Kansas City. Because he has a name.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: He's popular. Right. Even though, like, he has a criminal
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: record and all that stuff that you mentioned.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: That doesn't matter anymore.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: He's well known. He's known. So, he gets arrested again. So,
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: he can't run no more.
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: So he does a Kamala movie. His father said, hey,
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: I'll run.
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: Kamala.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: The father said, I'll run, right? Uh-huh. The father gets
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: 49% of the votes. Okay. So they win. All right.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: So when I met Stanford Glazer, he showed up with
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: a hot-ass four-year-old. He's like 70-something.
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: Sure.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Craig was marrying a chick that was 20-something. Okay. They
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: were even marrying her. Right. We're all eating, bro, at
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: the house. They invited us to eat. They gave her
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: the famous. So we're eating steaks, having a good time,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: making everybody laugh. And then Stanford walks up to us,
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: and he grabs a piece of napkin, and he pours
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: pepper all over it. Uh-huh. And he goes, you see that?
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: What's that? I don't know. So that's the Million Man March.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: Jeez. Prop comedy.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Then he folded it up, and he makes it in
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: one straight line. He goes, what is that? I said,
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know, man. Aren't you running for mayor? Then
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: he goes, that's the line for KFC that day. Fuck.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, fuck, this guy running for mayor?
• 35:08
  Speaker 4: And he calls his club like a ripoff of Sanford
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: and Sons. I mean, he's walking both lines there.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: Goddamn.
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: He was ahead of his time, let's be honest.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Fuck. So in the book, bro, Stanford. But he knows
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: the club is doing really well and they pushed the
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: dad out because he was just... Yeah. The club will
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: make $ 5, 000 and the club will spend $ 10, 000 that week. Really?
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: On drinks and women probably and just trying to.
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: Bro, he likes to wear a Ferrari, dog.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: And the guy to bring the Ferrari, by the way.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: So that fool said, Stanford is a player, bro. Craig
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: said that they grew up with no chairs and couches
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: because the dad would just use it to spend it on.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: On everything. He probably had sex with half of the
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: women in Kansas City. Wow. According to the book.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: And so why do they go to Mexico and rob
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: a cartel?
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: We'll get to that. But when they took the club
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: away from the dad, the dad goes in there with
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: a hot chick. He's already like 70-something, bro. Like the
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: hot 30-year-old, right? Listen, man, I got this hot bitch
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: out there. I need $ 200, so go have fun. Kind
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: of like me driving to Rialto and going, listen, man,
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: I got this hot babe. I need $ 300, mijo. Or
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: else I'm not going to have no fun.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: He was like Jerry Buss.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: By the way, that's like $ 500 back then. Jerry Buss
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: has money, bro, and good hair. So he's... He took
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: those fools to court. He took the sons to court
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: for the club because he wanted $ 5, 000 a month from them.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Jeez, man.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: Like royalties kind of.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: For leisure and whatever, right?
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: Lifestyle.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: Lifestyle. So he lost. Then he opened up another club
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: that didn't work.
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: That's too bad.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: So Craig in college, according to the book, He was
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: selling pot in California. Okay. So he gets robbed by
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: a drug dealer.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: So then he starts doing the same thing. He's recording them. Okay.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: And he becomes a vigilante better instead. He dresses up
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: as a cop, but he's robbing drug dealers. He calls
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: himself the Robin Hood.
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: And he bitches that to a network show. Okay. Yeah.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, it sounds dangerous as fuck for network TV, but.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: But, I mean, it's a good show. So, anyway, he
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: gets indicted, bro, and a lot of the comics get
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: indicted with him, by the way. I remember Paul Rodriguez
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: telling me they called him in, too. Really? They called
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: up all his friends.
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: Or, like, when you say character witness. Yeah, right.
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: And so you're giving a character witness to somebody you
• 38:10
  Speaker 4: hang out with after shows when the parties are breaking out.
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: They're like, is this guy a good guy? He always
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: has blow.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, he was, yeah, like that, bro.
• 38:20
  Speaker 5: Very generous.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: Free shots.
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: What's her name? What's her name started their, um, that
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: comedian from the Rose, she had her own special. What's
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: her name? She's funny.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: The black lady?
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: Blonde lady. Skinny.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: Uh, Nikki Glaser?
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: Nikki Glaser. Really? There's a whole chapter, a whole chapter
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: in the book. And she talks about how.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: Does she write it? Or she's interviewed?
• 38:43
  Speaker 2: She's interviewed. She talks about how, um. She was supposed
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: to get $ 500, but they gave her $ 300. Uh-huh. Oh,
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: that's how it works?
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, that shit happens.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I knew a lot of bookers like that.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Here, dude. They say that that club was supposed to
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: give you $ 500. Yeah. Right? And they're going to pay
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: you on Sunday. Right. And then there's a manager there
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: that was in there all week.
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: And he'll give you a check for $ 300. And they said, well...
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: The owner told me he's going to pay me $ 500. Wow.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: They gave me a check here with $ 300 for you. Yeah.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: How do you argue that?
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: You want to talk to the manager, you call him tomorrow.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: But in your mind, you're already thinking this. There is
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: no tomorrow for me.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: Well, you also have to take it. that check and
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: you kind of accepted the check.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: And I have a, but, but there's no tomorrow for
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: us to comedian. Cause you know, tomorrow you're going to
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: hit the road again. They don't have to face you.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: And you got to leave tomorrow night. You probably got
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: to leave tonight to drive somewhere. And they know, they
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: know you're going to catch a flight in the morning.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: So they know that the chances of you waiting and
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: asking for this are 10 to 90, bro.
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: You ever just not get paid?
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: Hell no, bro. I make sure they write me a
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: fake check.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, I've been written fake checks.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: Placebo.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, but I never walked away with no money.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I got a fake check or I followed the guy
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: to the ATM. Right.
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've gotten a fake check once. And then I got,
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: it bounces and then like it bounces and then they
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: bullshit you. They go like, I got you, man.
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: They go like, Oh, well I just switched accounts. And
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: then they're sending you checks and they're telling you to
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: recash this check.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: And it just, it just never works out. And they
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: never admit that they're fucking you.
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: And then another guy, um, this comedy stop in Atlantic city, Tropicana, Bob.
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: Kephart, I will say his name never, never paid me.
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: Uh, for a week I did in 2015.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: So it happens at both times was casinos.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: Which is weird.
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: It's like, if you don't, if you're at a casino,
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: you got to cash the check at the, at the
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: cage or whatever it's called.
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: Just get the cash. You know what I mean? They
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: should be able to cash that check.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know you could do that at casinos
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: I think you can most of the time because they
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: want you to spend the money there. But this guy,
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: I showed up at the gig in Atlantic City and
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: they just handed me a piece of paper that said,
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: thank you for your patience with our late payments.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: Like, they're assuming I have patience with it.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: And I owe you.
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: The casino will cash any check, huh, with the proper ID, right?
• 41:30
  Speaker 4: I'm not sure exactly how it works, but usually when
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: a club in a casino gives you a check, they
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: know that check, and they will cash it.
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: And there's probably a lot of, like, situations where they will.
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: Give you money for a check because they want you
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: to waste it there.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, so now I'm going to do that with their
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Laugh Factory checks.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, say goodbye to your cash.
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: So I was reading that book, reminiscing when I was there,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: but I wanted to know if, I never knew if
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: Gabriel got paid or not, because I always got paid.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: He must have gotten paid because he went back twice.
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, of course. He got paid at least once.
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: So that club, bro, was a club after the comedy show.
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: Right, dance club?
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Yes, Strict Rules Club. No hats. Yeah. No hats.
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: No hats.
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: And no type of team apparel, jersey, anything. So only
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: like baseball caps?
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: No Raiders whatsoever. No belt buckles, no nothing.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: What about like a Paul Rodriguez hat?
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: None of that. No hats.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: No hats in general.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: No derbies. No sombreros, bro. No fucking powder wigs.
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: You got to show the world who you really are.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: What's going on under that hat?
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: But I do remember this. We went to Thursday through Sunday,
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: I guess. And the first night, there was this dude
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: that went to our show. He loved us. And then
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: he came back on Friday, bro. Was a bunch of
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: five other fools, right? Hell yeah. And dude, have you
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: ever seen that movie? You probably haven't, but you probably have.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: With Patrick Swayze called Next of Kin.
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen that one, no.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, my God. He's a hillbilly, and he's from Chicago.
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: And they killed his brother in Chicago, and half of
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: the hillbillies from his hometown show up. This is an
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: old Western? Yeah, man. Okay. So those guys were at
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: my show, bro. It started off with a guy in
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: the middle. And then he fucking brought his brother and
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: his half-brother. And they all brought. Liam Neeson. 13 people
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: that looked like that showed up to our show three times.
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: And they gave us our phone. They gave us our number.
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: We exchanged numbers. And we were supposed to go hunting
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: with them and fishing.
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: River shit.
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: And they were going to cook for us, bro. Yeah.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Because their wife showed up, bro. Because Gabriel was talking about.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: Because we never had chess pie, you know?
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: Chess pie. I don't know chess pie.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, me neither.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: Is that water pie?
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: It's like that pie we had at the casino.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, like butter cake.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: Butter cake. Okay, all right. You never had butter cake?
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: I never had it.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Butter cake is bomb.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: Butter cake, chess pie and butter cake are the cake
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: they used to make during the Great Depression. Right. With
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: just no water.
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: Just fucking water, sugar, and flour.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: Like pound cake.
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: Like that. It comes out like that.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: Dude, I've seen how they make it.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: It's crazy.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Look, chess cake.
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: Is it good?
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: Or is it depression good?
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: They wanted to invite us. There you go, like that, dog.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: Civil war delicious, bro.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Basically like that, just like that. All right.
• 44:57
  Speaker 6: Almost looks like a gooey pie, right?
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: So we had a good time there, bro. I didn't
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: have a bad experience.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: But hold on, did the wives send you guys home
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: or the wives liked you?
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: No, the wives came to our show on the last
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: night with them.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: But the guys wanted you guys to have sex with
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: the wives?
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Nah, probably with their animals.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: Nah, they just wanted to hang out with us. That's cool.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah, man. That's cool, man.
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: That's great.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: That's when I really noted that white people are poor too, bro,
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: not just like in California, all rich.
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: It's more than just Beverly Hills, white people.
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: Food, people.
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: Food!
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: We got the food truck here, people. Regardless.
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: Glad to be here.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: Regardless.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: I keep stepping on the drops, but I'm glad to
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: be here. Listen, cocksucker. My all-time favorite.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, a special that came out a week ago.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: It's called Altered Reality. It's my first hour special. I
• 45:56
  Speaker 4: got a great director, Scott Zabilski.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: It looks great.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Sounds great. It's got a beat.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: It's an hour.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Wow, nothing else from Shark Tank? Yeah.
• 46:06
  Speaker 3: Totally.
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: My wife wants me to cheat on her. I don't
• 46:08
  Speaker 4: know what that's about. She encourages me to cheat. Everywhere
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: we go, she points out other women. Every time we're
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: watching TV, she's like, I give you a hall pass
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: with that actress.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: I don't have the heart to tell her. I don't
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: daydream about cheating. I don't daydream about other women. If
• 46:26
  Speaker 4: I'm daydreaming, I'm dreaming about being alone.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: Ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: I'm dreaming about.
• 46:35
  Speaker 4: Watching television uninterrupted, smoking pot, ordering pizzas. I don't fantasize
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: about being promiscuous. I fantasize about being a loser.
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: Once you get older, you don't get to be a
• 46:53
  Speaker 4: loser anymore. You got to be a winner all the time.
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: Go hang out with other adults at a dinner party.
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: They're like, yo, Matt, we're winning.
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: You winning?
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh, man, I'm winning too.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: Career, finance, health, relationship, crushing it. I don't want to
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: crush it.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: I'm tired.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I want to park it.
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: It's a good one, man. My wife wants me to
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: cheat on her.
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know what.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: It looks good, man.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: It's really stylized. This is actually.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: The.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: Video quality actually looks a little better.
• 47:27
  Speaker 4: Why don't you hit double standard, please?
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: This is a better video quality. There ain't a lot
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: in there. Well, I guess it is.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: No, you're not supposed to try to win arguments.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: I think just the light.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. I like it.
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: That's not the goal.
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: Where'd you shoot it at?
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: Comedy and Magic Club small room. I bet you can't
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: even tell.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: I don't know which one it is. It looks big.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really small. It's all over the place with
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: their ideologies.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: You've been in that room before?
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: Not the small room.
• 47:54
  Speaker 6: I don't know how to get married all of a sudden.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: This place looks like it seats 200 or more. It
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: looks like a big theater.
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's only 70 people there.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: 70 people there.
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: And I decked it out in all black. It doesn't
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: look like that normally.
• 48:09
  Speaker 4: One might even call it a double standard if one
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: wanted to win an argument.
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: I'm in therapy. I want it to look like an
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: early 60s type Lenny Bruce type thing.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: You know, and I think they really pulled it off.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Friars Club.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:26
  Speaker 4: So thanks for helping me promote it, man. I'm totally,
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: I'm really happy with it. That's the, oh, let's not
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: read the comments.
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: Is that your first question?
• 48:37
  Speaker 5: Let's not do that.
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: I'm not ready for that. They've been mostly positive.
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: I've had my wife read them to me because I
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: just don't do comments. As I just open up the
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: fucking comment section on this podcast.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: That's a good amount of views.
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's good for my YouTube.
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: My YouTube is like, I usually get like 100, 200,
• 48:57
  Speaker 4: so I was like, fuck. But it caught the algorithm,
• 49:01
  Speaker 4: and you can tell it's being spit out.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: That's good.
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: Because people are watching it every day, you know? So
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: I can tell it's working out on YouTube.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: So I'm very happy. Because it would suck to do
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: all that work and then have like a hundred views.
• 49:15
  Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: But, uh, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's catching
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: the stream.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: It's catching the wave.
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: That's cool, dude.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: Congratulations.
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: Thank you, man.
• 49:25
  Speaker 4: It's called alter reality, spelled like an altar of a church.
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: It's about, uh, like really leaving the Catholic church as
• 49:31
  Speaker 4: a person and then marrying a girl whose parents is
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: very important that you get married in the Catholic church.
• 49:39
  Speaker 4: And it's just the whole process of it. And, yeah,
• 49:44
  Speaker 4: I'm really proud of it, like I said.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: Hell, yeah. What city did you get married in? New Orleans. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah.
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: That's, like, really Catholic.
• 49:55
  Speaker 4: They're into superstitions there. Like, they're scared if, like, you
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: do something wrong religiously, you're going to burn in hell.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't know it was that religious like that in
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: New Orleans.
• 50:03
  Speaker 4: Louisiana especially, but New Orleans as well. And it also
• 50:06
  Speaker 4: depends on who you are. She has an Italian family.
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: That's all part of it, you know?
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: You know the Italians showed up to New Orleans? I
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: thought it was all French people, bro. When they were
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: migrating to America, they told them that New Orleans is
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: right two hours away from fucking New York.
• 50:27
  Speaker 5: No, what the fuck, dude?
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: Who told them that and why? So they would just
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: live there and have labor?
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: A fucking travel agency, bro, ripping people off in Italy.
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: Travel agency. So they'll show up, bro, and they realized
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: for the price they paid, they could only afford to
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: go to New Orleans. Yeah. So a lot of them
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: couldn't afford for the next voyage to New York, so
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: they settled in New Orleans.
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: And then you just got to get to work once
• 50:54
  Speaker 4: you get there. They probably had jobs waiting for them.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: It seems harder to get to New Orleans than fucking
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: New York.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: They went to New Orleans first before they went to
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: New York.
• 51:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: They lied to them.
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: I don't know how you get anywhere back then.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, by ship.
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: I imagine you end up in Alabama sometimes, North Carolina sometimes.
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: I mean, can you really tell where you're going on
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: these ships? This is before iPhones.
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: I don't know if you know that.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, before I asked.
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: How the fuck did people get around? They would use
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: a compass and the stars. Yeah, no.
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: And they were good at it.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: Except Columbus wasn't he? Yeah, no. He ended up where?
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: South America.
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: The Bahamas or something?
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: I think he landed at the Caribbean, right?
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: He thought he was in India.
• 51:42
  Speaker 4: He could have used at least an iPhone too.
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: What's up, Food Podcast? We have Matt Fultron.
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: The Rizzo. Well, I wanted to hear more about the French.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, the Italians in New Orleans.
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: Well, there's a whole thing, too, where, like, the right
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: accents met up, and you have, like, a New York
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: accent called Yat in New Orleans.
• 52:07
  Speaker 3: Like, there's this weird thing where it sounds just like
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: a New York accent.
• 52:10
  Speaker 5: Really?
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: Certain pockets of New Orleans. That book Confederacy of Dunces
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: touches on that.
• 52:19
  Speaker 4: Ah.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: It's written in that language.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: Whatever.
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: They call it Yat. Yatty Yat.
• 52:25
  Speaker 6: I think we were seeing something how there's still people
• 52:28
  Speaker 6: on the coast with some sort of English accent.
• 52:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, Boston isn't that far off, in my opinion. Yeah.
• 52:38
  Speaker 6: There's still a dialect of people that have an English.
• 52:40
  Speaker 6: Where's Virginia or something like that? We're just so isolated.
• 52:45
  Speaker 6: They still kind of talk from their ancestors.
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: The Little Island, right?
• 52:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: I saw that.
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: Where no one else is allowed to move to?
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Hell yeah. That's crazy. This is your first special?
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: This is my first hour.
• 52:59
  Speaker 4: I did a half hour special for Comedy Central 15.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: Years ago and I was like, oh shit, I better
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: do another one.
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah.
• 53:08
  Speaker 4: Before I'm fucking old and gray. Which I'm technically both things.
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: So the special right now is a half hour or
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: one hour? It's an hour. Okay.
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: It's an hour. It's a fucking banger.
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: I hate to say it, but it's like, It's like
• 53:21
  Speaker 4: a joke every 20 seconds.
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: That's badass.
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: I like that.
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: Because that's what happens when you wait 15 years. You
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: got an hour's worth of jokes.
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: Building it up.
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was talking about it. I didn't tell you
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: last time. The first time I met.
• 53:35
  Speaker 6: You was we did a show at the old Irvine
• 53:38
  Speaker 6: Improv with Jerry Diaz.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: When it was at the.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: Smaller one?
• 53:43
  Speaker 2: The smaller one.
• 53:43
  Speaker 3: I like the smaller one.
• 53:44
  Speaker 6: I thought I was big at that time. And then
• 53:46
  Speaker 6: now it's fucking like, what, 500 seater?
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: No, it's only like 300 seater.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: The one back then.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: The old one was $ 300.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: The new one's like $ 600.
• 53:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: Damn.
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: The old one seemed big to me at the time.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: In a good way. But you could also pack it out.
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: It was also a lot more fun. No offense, Irvine Improv.
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: We love you. But the old.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: One was better.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like the old one because it was right
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: in front of the, what's it called?
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: Dave and Buster's.
• 54:13
  Speaker 5: The Yardhouse.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: The Yardhouse.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 54:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: With Joey Diaz, yeah.
• 54:19
  Speaker 4: Every place has the same fucking menu. Chicken wings, burgers,
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: the whole complex, the whole spectrum.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: This is a lot of drama right now, man, in
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: the chat. Martina, stop lying, Melly. How do you know
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: I'm lying? Transatlantic. You're not a good liar, Melly. Cool set,
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: can't hide that dome. I don't got to lie and
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: kick it. Shut up already. Ha-ha, Melly. Damn, Melly.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Chill.
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: You started fighting with me, Melly. Melly still. Morning Charlie
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: Kirk talking about I'm a winner.
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: What the fuck?
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: I'm a lover, not a fighter. Wow.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: They don't need us.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Hey, girls, how about you girls meet up and.
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: Chucky Kirk.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: And kiss each other.
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: You got a fan that's also a fan of Charlie Kirk,
• 54:59
  Speaker 4: in other words.
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: He's all over the place, dude. He's got a... Let
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: me see. The Transatlantic.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: I already had a hickey. You have one? No, Charlie Kirk.
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: When he died?
• 55:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: All right. Yeah.
• 55:16
  Speaker 3: You never know when you're going to die. You might
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: be getting laid that day.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: You look good, Felipe. The coat looks great.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: See, I told you, man. That's actually really nice.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: I look like Don Johnson in Miami Vice.
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you got the look, man.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Don Juan's in, bro.
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: I know this is half a put on, but you
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: look fucking great.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: The Martinez's are back in town. They're back to dealing.
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: Boyle Heights Vice, bro.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: This is my first time here and we're already beefing.
• 55:46
  Speaker 3: Poor Krusty Sox food.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that sounds like a gang name. Like a snapper's name.
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: Like a guy who just.
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: Saying go Dodgers is like saying RIP Charlie Kirk.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: What do you guys think about that?
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: There we go. Huh?
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: I threw my Dodgers hat in the trash when they
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: went to visit Trump. And I miss it. But standards
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: are standards, goddammit.
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: Don Johnson, bro. Was he a singer, too?
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he had a song.
• 56:17
  Speaker 4: And so did Michael Philip Thomas. They had songs on
• 56:20
  Speaker 4: Top 40 Radio.
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, that song was called My Ass.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: Miami Vice was so big.
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: So let me and Felipe take you to a time
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: when there was only so many shows on TV and
• 56:33
  Speaker 4: everybody watched them.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: So if you had a hit show, like David Hasselhoff
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: had songs, too. But Miami Vice, those guys had songs
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: on the Top 40 Radio. radio really yeah.
• 56:45
  Speaker 6: Because i i try i mean i've seen like an
• 56:47
  Speaker 6: episode on netflix it's pretty good but like you really
• 56:50
  Speaker 6: gotta like invest your time in the shows because it's
• 56:52
  Speaker 6: like an hour-long episodes like.
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah tons of commercials too back yeah chris rock makes
• 56:58
  Speaker 4: a guest appearance glenn fry from the eagles i've barely
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: seen this show But it's, it was, it was such
• 57:09
  Speaker 4: a big part of the culture wearing like these, these
• 57:12
  Speaker 4: suits was like constantly referenced. If you watch the Sopranos,
• 57:18
  Speaker 4: Steve Buscemi gets out of jail and he's, he's wearing
• 57:20
  Speaker 4: a suit like this in like the early two thousands
• 57:23
  Speaker 4: and they're goofing on him hard because he still thinks
• 57:25
  Speaker 4: it's cool.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: There you go.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: That's funny.
• 57:27
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: That's hilarious.
• 57:31
  Speaker 6: Because I remember they made a movie, like a Miami
• 57:34
  Speaker 6: Vice movie in the mid-2000s.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: I don't think it did that good.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: It wasn't well-received.
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: But I think it's a big-budget action movie.
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: There's this podcast called The Rewatchables, and they talk about
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: it all the time. They love it. So it's got
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: to have some kind of value.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: I think Jimmy Fox was in the remake.
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and Colin Farrell.
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 57:57
  Speaker 6: And they're remaking it again. I was reading about it.
• 58:01
  Speaker 6: I think it's called Miami Vice 85 with Michael B.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: Jordan.
• 58:05
  Speaker 2: I just noticed that Steve Buscemi looks like James Wood's
• 58:10
  Speaker 2: crazy brother.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: Gerard Butler?
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Gerard Butler is going to be in the new
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: one and Michael B.
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: Jordan.
• 58:16
  Speaker 5: I watch it.
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: I like both those guys. Andrew Schultz is in it?
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: Miami Vice 85. Hey, you can still get on the movie, Felipe.
• 58:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: Two more years and he made it.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: They haven't even started making it, huh?
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: No. Dude, this is your audition right here. Dude, this
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: is it.
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: Those dirty sons of a bitches.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: You sure you weren't tailed?
• 58:40
  Speaker 2: What are they?
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: I trust them.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: But they don't understand that. Anyways, I'm not going to
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: watch it.
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: Edward James almost was in it. They're going to need
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: somebody to play that part, bro.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: Dude, please. Tubbs, I want you to find the Martinez
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: brothers right now.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: Bro, that's a good, that's a Miami look, bro.
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: Dude.
• 59:01
  Speaker 2: Bro, I look like Andy Garcia's stunt double, bro.
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: This is no, this is no, no.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: Ocean's 13. Bato's local forever.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: Ocean's 13, homie.
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: I need you on this movie. I need to visit
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: you on set.
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: Dude, that's a free trip to Miami, bro.
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man.
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: Dude.
• 59:19
  Speaker 4: That's exactly how you're going to feel when you fly
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: into Miami.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow I'm doing this car show event in Covina.
• 59:28
  Speaker 4: Nice.
• 59:29
  Speaker 3: During the day?
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: 5 o'clock. So I think I do clean comedy tomorrow.
• 59:36
  Speaker 4: Eh, you can still do some for you. I find
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: they don't get upset unless people get upset. Yes.
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 59:43
  Speaker 3: You know what you're doing.
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: Are you going to be outside?
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: Yes, for the Hispanic Heritage Month. So that's good. I
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: won't be fighting the audience, bro.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: How are you going to dress?
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: Can you let me.
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: Borrow that, dude?
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: Don't take it in, either. Just wear that big old suit.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: I need to look good.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 6: Let me borrow the coat, bro.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: Do you have any car show jokes?
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I've done cars.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: You do?
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 6: You know, the Chicano Comedy Fest, I've done shows like
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 6: that where, like, there's a bunch of oil stains.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you're good.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: You're good. Start off with, hey, man, there's a lot
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: of badass cars here, eh? The only one that I
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: didn't like was the cop's car, eh?
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 5: Ha ha ha!
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 6: Because, you know, during the pandemic, bro, we were doing
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 6: car shows.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: So you got to dust those jokes off. You got
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: to look through those notes.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: Go through it, bro.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: Go past the suicide notes and find all the jokes.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: I forgot we were telling jokes at cars, bro.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, honking horns for response. We stood at an Airbnb
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 2: this weekend in Kansas.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: It was very, like, 60s, like, swanky.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: Like my special, but a place to stay.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 2: The architecture of the house is a famous guy from
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: what I hear. He's very famous, our guy who designed
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: the house. It looked like the house from Anchorman.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: Oh, okay, yeah.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: It had a big chimney in the middle of the house.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: The whole living room was divided into two bedrooms.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: If it wasn't those two bedrooms, it would be the
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: massive living room. Cool. But it's not. We had two bedrooms.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: Shot carpet.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: And downstairs, there was two more bedrooms with two baths. Upstairs,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: one bath. Big-ass kitchen. We get to the first night,
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: and then we go to the show. When we come back,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: our road manager passes out, and Saul passes out. And
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: him and I, we don't know how to turn the
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: lights on.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 6: So the upstairs is so dim, bro.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: It was cold as fuck, first of all. Cold, bro.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 2: It was 66. And we're trying to find the light
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: to the kitchen. So we turn on our phone lights.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: And if you're watching us from the other house, it
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: looks like there's two burglars now.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: Of course.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: Of course.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 6: We're eating like fucking... Yeah, like electricity wasn't invented yet, bro.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: We're like fucking.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: But batteries were.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah. Uh.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: This was this past week?
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: What were you doing in Kansas?
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: What were you playing? We were doing the Comedy Club
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: of Kansas.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: In Missouri.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: In Missouri.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 2: With Dustin.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: Dustin Kaufman.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: He used to work at the, he used to be
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: a comedian from the Flappers.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right, right, right.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that Airbnb was super, like, you could tell, like,
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: they filmed so many.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: Pornos there, bro.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: You think so?
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, for sure, dude. There's no way they did it, man.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: Long couch. How long was that couch?
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: Like, that was an orgy couch, bro. It was like.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: That couch cannot fit in this room, man. No, it can't.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: It was so long.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: It was long, bro.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 6: Like, everything, like, for sure, if you had a black light,
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 6: it'd be, like, fucking nothing but, like.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 4: I worked with this sitcom writer, like, 25 years ago.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 4: We were pitching a pilot based on my five whole
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 4: minutes of comedy. And he's like, we're going to go
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 4: pitch at ABC Family, of all places. He says, come
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 4: by and pick me up tomorrow. And there's a full-on
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 4: porn set happening at his Hollywood Hills mansion.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: Like, he rents out his place to porn... sets and
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: he's just kind of like hanging out there.
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: Watching the like behind the scenes yeah i.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 4: Mean he's just hanging out there because it's his house
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 4: and he told me to come by and pick him
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 4: up just just for me to get a peek at
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 4: it yeah and uh it was wild because we didn't
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 4: leave right away and then we we went and pitched
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: to abc family which is essentially disney and it went
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: well and then we came back and we watched some
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: more of the shoot and then i went home and
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 4: i'm like this hollywood thing's really.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 3: Working out would you do gay porn No, I wouldn't
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: do it. I wouldn't do it.
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: But not... No, no.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't do straight points.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: You're not going to suck nobody off. Nobody has to
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: suck you off. You're not going to touch it. Just say, like,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: the actor doesn't like when they come on his back. Uh-huh.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 2: So they get all cut, and then you lay them,
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: and they just come on your back. No! What the fuck? No!
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: That's nasty.
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 2: That's it, dude. Like, nobody touches you.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 5: I don't think... Well, they kind of do. Future generations
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 5: touch you.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: The guy just... Puts his palm on your shoulder and
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: comes on your back. Okay. And then that's it. You
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: haven't even said a- No penetration.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: You haven't even said a price.
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: The other guy does everything. Everything.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, he's a- So I'm the- You do everything.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: The other guy did everything already.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: You're the cum pillow.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: But the guy does not like strangers cum on his back.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: So when the guy's about to come, they cut, and
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 2: then you lay down.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: I'm the stunt actor for the back.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, bro.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: No one's going.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: To see your face.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: I love this guy's contract.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: No one's going to see your face.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: I don't think guys get paid enough for pornos.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: $ 2, 000 a movie.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: No.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 5: No, what the fuck, dude?
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 3: As your lawyer, I'm going to.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: Advise you not to take this. But these three guys
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: were just going off. No, dude.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this is true. Fuck it, I need a shot.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 2: It is true.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to send you the screenshot, but.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: You said no?
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: No, so this guy.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: No, I wouldn't.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: Would you do it, though?
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: I definitely wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: A warm jizz in my back, bro?
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 5: No, dude.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: Bro, just close your eyes. Pretend it's Christmas. And a
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: dumping cold champorado on your back. God, no. They're slapping
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: you with yogurt or Tres Leches cake.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: And, dude, $ 200.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: You don't have to play those car shows anymore. For
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: a whole week.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: It has to be, dude, it has to be $ 500 million.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 4: $ 2, 000, bro. No.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 2: Just laying there. Lay in there.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 5: It's not the laying there.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: You're not going to touch nothing. They wipe you off
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: right away, bro.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: Are you putting me out with a fucking fire extinguisher?
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: No. Go do your $ 50 comedy gig with confidence, bro.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: The sticky back, no, bro.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: No, bro, they wipe you right there.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 4: Now he really seems like a lawyer that will get
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: you in trouble.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: Like, no, come on, just sign the contract.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 6: It sounds like somebody's trying to get you to do something.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: Somebody came up to you. He owes the guy a favor.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 6: $ 500.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 4: Million.
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: No, never. No cum, bro. No in your back. No nothing. Okay.
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: The guy just gets behind you and pulls your hair
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: and goes, you like that shit? You like that shit?
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 2: But there's no penetration.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: With my clothes on?
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: You got your pants on, but just to... From the
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: waist up, you're naked.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 3: And it's just the back of his head.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: The back of your head, he's naked. They're just giving
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: you the upside shot. Romero, you could get this shot, right?
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, you mean like a softcore porn?
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but he has your head back in his tits
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: and he's fucking biting your cheeks.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: No, no, no! Dude, there's not.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 5: It has.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: To be like a billion, like $ 500 million. That's like
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: my price right there.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: Bro, how good is your butt to pay you that much?
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna sell my butt!
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: It'll be like a soft porn... gay porn no but
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: they don't show penetration but like it'll just look like
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: american me.
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 6: Uh oh this is more of an acting gig acting
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 6: like an actual movie okay okay like like like like
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 6: uh like the new like miami.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: They can both be acting movies bro it's a prison
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: scene the first one.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: So i turned down a couple weeks i turned that.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 6: Uh you turned down this too i turned down uh
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 6: only 10 times I turned out a commercial because they
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 6: wanted me to.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: The whole ad is... I've seen.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 6: So it's those anti... What is it? Anti-HIV pills?
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: And sometimes... Preventative. Yeah, it was preventative. Preventative?
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: HIV pills. And those ads, they show where there's two guys.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: I've seen those, bro.
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 1: Guys at a.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 6: Festival hugging and stuff. And so the audition I got,
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 6: it was for that. And I was looking at it.
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 6: I was like, the thing about these auditions... When people
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 6: see them, it looks like they're actually a couple at a.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: Totally.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: It doesn't say that this is acting and stuff like that.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 2: Nobody ever goes, that's that comic I saw yesterday.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 6: No, and that's why I was like, if I did this,
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 6: they'll be like, oh, this is who has HIV and
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 6: he's gay, you know?
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, no, I hear what you're saying, but.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: You wouldn't do that commercial?
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: I denied it.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: How much was it?
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm going to say. It doesn't even pay
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: that much.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 6: Because for me, it's kind of like, like you said,
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 6: nobody's going to be like, oh, that's a comic.
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: It's just kind of like, oh.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 2: Me too, bro. I wouldn't do a commercial for diarrhea, bro.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: I would do for diarrhea, bro.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 4: I would do diarrhea. I would play gay in a
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 4: real movie. Commercial, maybe not.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: Let me find the audition, but it's just kind of like,
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: because I've seen the ads.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 6: It just looks like it's realistic. It just looks like
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 6: they actually filmed a couple at a festival.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: I can't do this, dude.
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: Who sent you?
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: The fucking guy, Benny the Pearl. You met him.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 6: The guy uh the one that was uh also uh
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 6: sent uh butch for auditions vinnie yeah so like if
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 6: it was a movie then yeah i'll play a gay
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 6: guy you know because it's like it's acting but there's
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 6: like you can't tell it's.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 4: Acting you know like it's not worth the money and
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 4: it's just it's a weird thing uh uh that commercial.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: It's like it's like a straight guy.
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 6: It's like the friends episode you know when like joey
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 6: goes out for the herpes commercial yeah and now they
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 6: think he has herpes?
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right, right.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: So, yeah.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I love a happy ending. Speaking of happy endings.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 1: Rizzo, would you still do it?
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: You're going to come back around.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 3: Ask you again.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 2: That's the one that had like a partner, right?
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: And they live with HIV. Yeah. They have little short shorts.
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 3: They're just like hugging.
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 2: I've seen it. It's weird.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: They play it during like football commercials.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 1: It's just like, there's like no acting. There's no acting.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: It's just like they had a.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 2: I should buy those commercials where the person that, I
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: probably got an IBS commercial, right? Or something.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And they're showing how they live. There's a medicine
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: for it. And how they're enjoying their lives right now.
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: And you see this guy fucking hang gliding, bro. Fucking
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: shitting in the ocean.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: Shitting on everybody.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: Shitting on everybody, probably. And then he's wearing little shorts, too.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: I'm watching this commercial going, he's hang gliding now on
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: a little surf along the ocean. So diarrhea will stop
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: him from doing this? Yeah.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah, dude.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: Like, no.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 4: I think in real life, yeah. But in the commercial,
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 4: I'd like to see him shit on some people.
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 1: That's the actual commercial? Yeah.
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: So I was just following, like, the cigarette ads now.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 2: There isn't that many, you know, cigarette ads.
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 2: But the cigarette ads when we were kids.
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: They were just, like, stills, right?
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: In magazines? All the shit that this guy's cigarette did,
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: I don't see... I'll never see anyone do this. For example, bro, Newports.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: Those are the best.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: The people that I've seen smoke Newports.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: Do they still sell them?
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: Never skied. Right.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: They're skiing. They're playing in leaves.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 2: Never skied. People who I've seen smoke cool cigarettes never
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: play trumpet like that.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: There was no difference.
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: What the fuck? That's sexual right there. That's sexual. Yeah.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: Because after the cigarette, after the rusted trombone.
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, see how it's like kind of penetrating her?
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: I've seen a guy with guitars at the beach.
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: Look at that one more. I've never seen anybody smoke
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: a more cigarette who looked like that man. Everybody who
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 2: I smoked those cigarettes looked like Madea or Dean Del Rey.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: Dean Del Rey. Nuts and butts.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 4: It went menthol cigarette commercials to Juicy Fruit Gum.
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 3: Two herpes commercials.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 2: Looking like Winston, bro. It's this guy. Nobody I know
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 2: that smokes Winston is on a cell phone, bro.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: This is borderline masculine, though. Like, he's working. See that hook?
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: He's working.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: Very, very rugged for sure.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, look at everybody doing something with these cigarettes, bro.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: But in real life, they're doing blow, drinking Rolling Rock, bro.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 6: If they want to be realistic, show somebody at their
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 6: lunch break At a diner, you know?
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 2: We're about to do that one, brother. They're leaving the
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: BET Awards.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 3: So these would all be billboards and, like, in magazines.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 2: Look at that. Camel filters, bro. For the rugged man
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: who likes to smoke unfiltered. See, like.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: That's pretty realistic, that guy.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 4: No, the Marlboro and Camel went like, I'm an old
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 4: school tough guy. But the Newport went, we are having
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 4: a ball today. We're bowling, we're riding bikes, we're doing
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 4: all this athletic shit that you just don't do if.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: You smoke Newports. Newports are the real deal.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: They still want to go cast jaws after this. Exactly. Look,
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: revive your... New ports are very sexual, bro. Look.
• 1:12:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, see?
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: Open mouth.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 3: See the splash?
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: Another one, and there's a lady bending down.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: Is that the 70-year-old porn star?
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the new ports are always sexual.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's Blue Iris.
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: Look at that one up there. Yeah, baby. Look, hold
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: me down.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: Damn, what the fuck?
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 2: Did you take a picture like that with a man?
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: Just my legs?
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I'll show my legs like that. That's funny.
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 2: The one with the fence scene, I thought it was
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 2: a porno. daughters stuck in dryer.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're showing, they're showing a big ass sandwich.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 2: She's all sad.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: What the, what the, my boyfriend's so crazy.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 2: I feel, honey, you gotta stop smoking. I just started
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 2: eating sandwiches.
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: I feel AI is taking people's likenesses, bro.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: They're taking everything.
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: Look at that one, they're nasty, bro. Fire it up.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: So as a kid, I never seen Ask for Cigarettes.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: When did they stop this?
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: They stopped this in the 90s. 90s and 87, 88.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 3: So you used to be able to smoke in any building.
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: And the magazines, are they still there? Huh? Are they
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: still in magazines?
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: I don't think so.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: No?
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 3: I don't think it's legal anymore.
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 2: Billboards, yes, right? Or no?
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, billboards, you still see some.
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: Does it depend what city, though?
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 3: It depends on what area. Like, you're not going to
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: see that in L.A. You never have.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 4: But you used to be able to go to Taco Bell, McDonald's,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 4: and you could smoke. You could smoke in high school.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 2: They might have a Marlboro one over there by the
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: Comedy Store back in the day. By the Taco Records,
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: before the Taco Records got demolished.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: There used to be a big, yeah, big Marlboro man.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 3: That was like a staple.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, New York, too. Yeah.
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: Okay, I've never seen that in movies.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's like, it was like, they might have changed
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 4: out the guy, but it was always a Marlboro advertisement.
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 2: It's crazy.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: It's crazy also, like, you know, like.
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 2: People still smoke, bro.
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, dude.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 6: Basically, most of the Rat Pack, they die because of
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 6: fucking cigarettes.
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 3: Well, they're also like, when you see those pictures, they're
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: like 45.
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: People smoke a lot.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 3: They're not like 65 like you think.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Remember, I went to this church, bro, and it
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: was Catholic, but the priest was Armenian. They had an
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: extra altar boy for the last three. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, shit.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 4: Ah.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 2: Here we go. Yeah, TV commercial. This is what I'm
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: talking about, baby.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 4: This is what Don Draper was putting together.
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: Totally, totally. A snowmobile. They would have to draw all
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 2: this shit before, bro.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: The storyboards?
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 4: And this is how attention spans used to go, too.
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 4: People would go watch this whole commercial. People just skiing.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 2: Sometimes the commercial is almost like the good of the movie.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 3: They hire a band that plays dueling guitar solos.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: You are fighting emphysema.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 2: Because skiing is what you do when you smoke Newport, bro.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 3: Refreshing. Nothing like an ice-cold cigarette.
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: Ice-cold cigarette.
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you, man, a little hot chocolate and
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 2: a fucking... I don't even know what that word says.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 3: That's a guy?
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 5: It's his own brand?
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 2: Peter's Test.
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: That's why I smoke Felipe Esparza's.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been like 10 years since I quit smoking cigarettes.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: You will tell. You remember my little fucking cigarette? Remember, Felipe?
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Virginia Slims.
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 5: We've come a long way, baby. It was Paul Maul's, bro.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: That was my cigarette.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 2: Fuck. You smoked Paul Maul's, too?
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: That was my cigarette.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 2: Paul Maul's, bro.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know what the fuck. I used to defend
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 1: the Ossetian cars.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: I thought it was Marlboro Lights. It's Paul Maul's? It
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 2: was Paul Maul's.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 4: Another?
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 3: Paul Maul's Lights?
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: Paul Maul's Lights, yeah.
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 2: That was my cigarette. The gold one?
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: No, it was the blue box.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: And it didn't have a... It was not even a
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: hard box, huh?
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: It was a soft box.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: No, no, it was a hard box. Soft boxes are
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: old school. I didn't have.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 2: And you remember... Whatever it is. The machine with fucking cigarettes?
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 3: The what? The cigarette machine?
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: Everywhere. At the hospital.
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 6: Everybody went fucking skiing, bro.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: But I started smoking cigarettes.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: In high school. What the fuck, eh? My grandfather did
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 2: it for lung cancer.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 3: I'm having a baby.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 2: They got cigarettes right here in a coffee machine. Yeah.
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: And like, 30 choices.
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 2: Like, it fucking matters. Like, it's not just smoke. 15
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: on top, 15 on the bottom. All the Marlboro Lights,
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 2: all the Marlboros, and fucking Winstons.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 3: And then there's, like, terrible brands.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 4: Like, I remember I bought a pack of Harley Davidsons, like,
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 4: in the 90s, and was smoking those, which is probably, like,
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 4: the malt liquor of cigarettes.
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: I wish I had one of those machines right now,
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 2: because I know every Denny's had one, too. Oh, yeah.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: People will be smoking at Denny's, right?
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 6: I'm pretty sure there's some diners around the country that
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 6: still allow smoking.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 3: I guarantee you there's smoking sections.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 4: Denny's is more corporate, but there's places where they can
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 4: figure out loopholes. Even in L.A., that Tiki Bar place
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 4: by the Vista Theater, there's a Tiki Bar place where
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 4: all the employees are family, so technically they can smoke
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 4: there because they're not employees.
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 3: Some kind of loophole.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 2: That's sick, dude. That's pretty cool.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 6: I could just imagine maybe like Fred 62. Everybody used
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 6: to smoke cigarettes.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, man. Right in the Godfather 3.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 2: Paul Maul's no filters. I knew a guy that smoked
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: those Paul Maul no filters, too. No, I need a filter.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 4: I smoked Campbell no filters like an idiot, and it
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: was terrible.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: When you smoke Campbell no filters, do you smoke those
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 2: to the end or just half?
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 4: I just smoke them until it gets hot on your fingers,
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 4: but I didn't really know what I was doing. I
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 4: was like one of these dumb guys. I don't really
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 4: smoke that much, but when I buy a pack, I'm
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 4: going to go all out, which is really dumb.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 3: Just get the Marlboro Lights and shut up.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: You ever start a fire because of cigarettes? No. Do
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 2: you remember? I have.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: You were drunk?
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 2: Sober. How big?
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 3: How big was the fire?
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 2: It burned down, like, the side of the house, somebody's house.
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 2: That's another thing.
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 3: People just walk around with, like, fire in their house.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 2: That's what it is.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 5: You know, like, in bed.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 1: Walking with little candles, bro.
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: Smoking cigarettes first thing in the morning. You know what
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: I did one time?
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 4: I smoked a cigarette in the shower. And that's when
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 4: I had a talk with myself.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: I was about 23.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I kind of did it just to like
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 3: show off for myself.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, what are you doing?
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can do it.
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 3: You already like you.
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 6: I remember when I was like 20, I remember having
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 6: these friends that I met, like these punk rockers.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 1: And like, they're all young. They're like 19, 20, 21.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 6: And there's at least like fucking like, like, eight of
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 6: them that lived in like a one-bedroom apartment. And I
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 6: remember they're all like, you know, just drinking and smoking.
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 6: We're all smoking cigarettes inside the living room, like all night.
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 6: And I remember even laying down, and I stayed home
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 6: because I was too drunk to drive. And everybody was
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 6: just laying down, like about to go to sleep. And
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 6: I remember just thinking back, like, that was disgusting that
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 6: I did that, bro. Just fucking like partying with these
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 6: like punk rock chicks, you know?
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: Like, this is fucking cool, dude.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it is cool, and it is gross.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: I would walk around downtown LA when I was in
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: my 20s, And I see these women and these guys
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: come out of our car, and they're giving away Benzene
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 2: and Hedges. The green ones? Right.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 3: They're free.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 2: Four packs. Three to a pack?
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 2: I would get them, bro.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 1: That was my mom's cigarette.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 2: I didn't even smoke. I would just, yeah, take it.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: And I get a bunch. We're going to get more.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 2: And I just start smoking them.
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 3: This used to happen at bars too.
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 4: They'd have a representative come through, usually an attractive woman,
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 4: and you'd have to sign out.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 3: It was like.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 4: The earliest time I can remember where they're getting all
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 4: your information so they can mail you advertisements.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: They still do that.
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 3: And you would just be smoking, again, inside. When I
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: first moved to L.A. in 97- It was the last
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 3: couple months you could smoke inside.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but, dude, nobody obeyed that law.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 4: None of the bars wanted it. And so you would smoke, like,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 4: into about 2,000. You could smoke inside of.
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 3: The bar in L.A.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: You would roll up your own?
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 4: No.
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 3: Got those for free, too.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: Top?
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, drum.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 2: Well, I was in Amsterdam doing a stand-up. I did
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: a festival over there. I did a television show.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 5: Uh-huh.
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 2: 05. I ran into a comic, a British comic, and
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: I smoked with him. And then he was smoking his own.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: He would roll up his own cigarettes with a filter.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 5: Oh, cool, yeah.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: You know the little filter that Marlboro Lights has?
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 2: His cigarettes came with that pack. Oh, styrofoam? Yes, he
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: put a little styrofoam. He rolled it up, put a
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 2: little styrofoam in there. And he was smoking Spliffs, just
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 2: tobacco and pure hash.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there's a whole spliff culture where people put tobacco
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 3: in their weed.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: What's that called?
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 3: It's called a spliff.
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: A spliff.
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and people like dig it, especially in the UK.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 2: What's the strangest cigarette you smoke from a brand? You're like,
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: what the fuck?
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 3: I've smoked like Newport's. Parliament? I've smoked Parliament. I've smoked Winston's.
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 2: Winston's, yeah, for sure.
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 3: I told you I smoke Harley Davidson's. That's probably the
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 3: most fringe cigarette.
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 5: I've ever smoked.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 3: It was at a gas station in Baltimore.
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 2: Right next to American Spirits.
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, American Spirits were... Yeah, that's not that crazy.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: Those are tough.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: There's no point.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: Like, you can't... Ahmed Ahmed smokes those. What's that? Ahmed Ahmed. Yeah.
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 2: First person I see with those.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 3: It doesn't really do anything for you. It doesn't give
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 3: you a buzz.
• 1:22:00
  Speaker 4: And, like, it's hard to even get any smoke out
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 4: of the thing.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: They hurt. Yeah, yeah. And I smoked these cigarettes because
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 2: this man I was working with was smoking them. They
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 2: were called... They're like the cheap version of camels, Raleigh's. Yeah,
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Look up Raleigh's Cigarettes.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: It's the same packaging. It's the paper packaging, Raleigh's Cigarettes.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 3: I smoke Dorals, depending on what part of the country.
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 2: Those, bro.
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 4: Raleigh's.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 2: That's it. The king size.
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 6: So the ones, damn, those look like from back in
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 6: the day. The ones I smoked, I remember when I
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 6: was a kid- My grandma used to smoke these.
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 1: They're called Faros.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 2: Faros? Faros?
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 1: F-A-R-O-S.
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: Cigarettes. Uh-huh.
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 6: And there's, like, a British guy on it. They're, like,
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 6: small little, like, those right there are Faros.
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 2: Fuck. That's charming.
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, my grandma.
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 2: Old school. Turn around, huh?
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: Those are my grandma's cigarettes from Mexico, remember?
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: Faros.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 6: I used to go to the convenience store to buy
• 1:23:04
  Speaker 6: them for.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 2: Her, remember?
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 3: Is that guy a skeleton right there?
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 2: That one is.
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's wild.
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 1: Damn, dude, but it's like a.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 2: Do cigarettes in Mexico have warnings? Yeah.
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 3: Every other country, right?
• 1:23:16
  Speaker 2: Is it like Canada or like over here? No, yeah.
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: Out there, if you go, they'll show you pictures of
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: like dead.
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 2: Babies with cancers. That one had an abortion. That one
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 2: had a baby on the tip.
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 3: Lungs and all that stuff.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, see? That one had a baby on the tip.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: Aborto, so it's like that. It can cause abortion.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 2: I think it would cause fucking egg or teeth.
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so in Mexico, even alcohol, dude.
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 2: They have warnings. Yeah, yeah. There's a picture of a
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 2: drunk driver dead.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 1: So in Mexico.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 6: They got rid of all the cartoon mascots for candy.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 2: Look at that guy.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: Dude, that's a rugged-ass guy right there.
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 3: That's a demographic.
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 6: In Mexico, they got rid of all the cartoon mascots
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 6: from candies and pastries and cereals because they don't want
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 6: to advertise.
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 1: Happy-looking characters to kids.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 2: So, yeah.
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 4: Just one thing I can't justify. I don't smoke cigarettes
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 4: because it's just like, what is the upside?
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: There's nothing.
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 3: Other than this conversation, what is the upside?
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 5: Oh, look at that.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 6: I look at my grandma back in the 60s. But yeah,
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 6: but it's a pretty cool looking box with the Sherlock Holmes.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 2: Quentin Tarantino has the fake cigarettes in all his movies.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: Who?
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 2: Red Apples.
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 1: The rose ones, right?
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 2: They're called red apples.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 3: They're called red apples, and I don't know if that's
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 3: a real brand or not.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 2: No, it's not. I think it's not because he wanted
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 2: to use a real brand and told them no.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, see, that's all Quentin.
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 6: But when you see all those old rose from D. Martin,
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 6: all those guys, those guys always had a glass of brandy.
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 3: A martini or a brandy.
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 1: A cigarette on the other hand. There's nonstop.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 3: There's always a cigarette going.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 1: Chain smoking.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 3: You had to have a cigarette going.
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 3: Or else you weren't in the game.
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 2: Like, even when we watched... If that's your pal, who
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 2: else do you see smoking on stage?
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: He's the only one I know that smokes like that.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 3: Eddie Griffin used to. Dice used to.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: Jeff Garcia, bro!
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 2: Jeff didn't.
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 1: Jeff Garcia till the end, bro.
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 2: To the end? No kidding.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 4: Huh?
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 2: Did you ever smoke on stage?
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 3: I have before. But it was a novelty for me.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 2: You know who smokes on stage? Neil Hamburger.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because he's doing a whole old school thing.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: That fits his style.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 2: It's like three cigarettes at one, right? He smoked like
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 2: three cigarettes at one time.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 3: Did he?
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 2: With like 10 drinks.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 3: That guy's wild. He's still around, I think.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: You have shows coming up? Yeah. Me?
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I got something in Scottsdale, Arizona, and Crescent City, California.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 4: Available at thefullcharge.com or mattfullcheron.com, however you want to look
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 4: me up. And the special can be found at Full
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 4: Charge on YouTube. So know the at Full Charge.
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah, dude.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 3: And 69 comments, bro.
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah, dude.
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, check that out, please.
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, Andrew Dice Clays. He used to smoke cigarettes on stage.
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Bill Hicks used to. Nobody does nowadays, really.
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 2: Alan Alda, no. I don't know, though.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure.
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 4: Oh, you know who's smoking cigarettes I've seen pictures of
• 1:26:27
  Speaker 4: is Christina Bozitski is smoking cigarettes on stage right now.
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 3: I saw a shot. At least she did it once.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: I think I did see somebody say something about Marlboro
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: Lights right here in the comments.
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's happening.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 2: They're coming back, bro.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 4: She's probably the one out of all the people we've named.
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 4: No one else really does it still except for Chappelle.
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 1: They're making a comeback, bro.
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 2: I didn't know they were going to smoke on stage.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 2: I'll add computer to somebody else.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: You should smoke joints on stage, bro.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 3: Well, you know it's legal to smoke cigarettes on stage.
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 3: There's like a loophole.
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 2: What?
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 4: Because since it's a performance, they can't tell some local
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 4: theater company they can't smoke in a production of whatever.
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: Interesting.
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Oklahoma or whatever they're putting on. That could have changed,
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 3: but if you go to the store... You can smoke
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 3: on stage, technically. Like, they give a shit there anyway.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 6: But I think you also need to really, like, you
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 6: can't just be, like, an open mic-er, right?
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 3: Like, going up there and smoking a cigarette. No, you
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 3: can't be. But that's another thing. That's the kind of
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 3: thing where you're going to be like, really?
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 1: Do you really need it?
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 3: You know, work on your smoking at home. I like
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 3: this look.
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 2: It's for real.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 3: I like this look. Miami Vice. Maury.
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 2: 2028, bro. How do I look?
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 3: You look fantastic. I think you're ready for your close-up.
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 2: What's up, boo?
• 1:27:51
  Speaker 5: Next week, bro. Bellflower.
• 1:27:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Somebody that sweeps porn film theaters.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 3: This is Miami Vice, right?
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 6: He cleans back jizzes, bro.
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 3: It matches. It matches the rest of your hair. You
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 3: look good.
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 4: You got great hair to begin with. Would you ever
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 4: buy a car from this guy?
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 2: Let me see.
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 3: Runs like new.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 4: It's got all new engine, all new upholstery. Charles Manson
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 4: never owned this car. Why'd you bring that up? Because
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 4: he never did.
• 1:28:35
  Speaker 1: You tucked your hair in.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 2: Welcome, madam. My name is Joaquin Bieber.
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 3: I love this. The glasses make so much sense now.
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: You look like you're.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 2: In a pop band called Amposole.
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 4: Why was this never used on the Eric Andre show?
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 3: I have no idea. It's sitting right there.
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 1: You look like you're an evangelist.
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 2: What's it called?
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: Those church people?
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 2: Evangelical? Fuskies. Instead of Drewski, Fuskies.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 4: Is that what your fans are called?
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 2: No, there's a guy named Drewski that does sketches.
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 3: Uh-huh.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 2: So they call me Fuski.
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 5: Oh, Fuski.
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 2: I look like the guy that killed... The designer in Miami. Yeah.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 3: Why can't I think of that guy's name? Versace?
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 2: Versace.
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 2: I'm Versace lover. Verace.
• 1:29:32
  Speaker 1: Actually, that looks good, bro. Like, if you like, if
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: you were to cut your hair.
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 2: Why do you not make a lot of money getting
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: jizzed on my back?
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 3: So I figured I'd treat myself.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah. $ 2, 000, bro?
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 2: I look like El Ton. El Ton John. El Tony John. Yeah.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 2: I'm an El Tony John, bro.
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 1: El Tony Juan, bro. El Tony.
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: She got big ass boobs. A long tattoo. You know
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 2: I met this torta at the magazine. She's a torta
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 2: torta ta. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 3: Hey, niños. That's all I got.
• 1:30:22
  Speaker 2: Hey, niños. We killed the chivo. We're going to eat
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 2: some birria tonight. We're going to have some banda music
• 1:30:34
  Speaker 2: and piñatas. Hey, hey, Juan and Chavo. Have you heard
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 2: the news? But she's a torta, torta.
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: Somebody say you look like an Arabic senator, bro.
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: You know, I look like, bro, I look like a Viking,
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 2: a biker in court for.
• 1:30:54
  Speaker 1: The first.
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 3: Time.
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 2: My uncle touched my pee-pee.
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 3: Show us on the wig where he touched you.
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 2: You know, I look like, bro, I look like fucking
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 2: Christopher Lloyd in Adam's Family, bro. When he's wearing that
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 2: suit as a fucking Uncle Fester. Yeah.
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: That's a good character right there, bro. That's like there's
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 1: something there.
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 2: What's up, Rizzo? That's what I look like, bro.
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 3: I think you should go full sketch. Cancel all the
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 3: live shows. And just now you're a sketch YouTuber now.
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: I think if you wore that.
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 6: You know how you see those church people always screaming
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 6: in the corner of the streets?
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 1: Like that. Este Sabado. With the microphone?
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 2: Directo.
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 3: I see that quite a bit on Fletcher and San Fernando.
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 2: I look like a drug dealer, bro. They got busted
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 2: in 1994 and he just got out and he's still
• 1:31:50
  Speaker 2: wearing the same clothes. He's calling everybody papi. Oh, you're papi.
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 2: Show Rizzo's photo, man, from La Quinceañera. Oh, man. I
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 2: look like I'm about to pick up my little lover
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 2: right here, bro.
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, no. That was eight years ago.
• 1:32:09
  Speaker 2: I was doing a.
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 3: What is this situation?
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 5: I got... This fan....
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 3: What's the concept?
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 5: Hey, listen.
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 3: The car show is a step up, right?
• 1:32:17
  Speaker 2: The best 10 quinceañera show.
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 1: I got this guy who is a DJ who's a fan.
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 1: He's like, hey, bro.
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 6: You know, they need an MC for this quinceañera expo,
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 6: which do... Quinceañera expos are insane. It's like a fucking
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 6: huge thing.
• 1:32:31
  Speaker 4: Like.
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, I get it. It's like doing a, like, I
• 1:32:35
  Speaker 3: get it. Like doing NACA or something.
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, bro.
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: Boost on every fucking.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 3: You can make a lot of money doing this.
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 6: So then they hired me because they had like a,
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 6: I guess the girl needed a co-host.
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:32:47
  Speaker 1: Bro, like the first 10 minutes, you're like, all right,
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: you know what? You're not what we wanted, bro.
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 6: I was trying to go there with jokes and stuff
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 6: like that. Like it was like the Emmys, you know? Yeah.
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 3: They're like, this is a, did they use the word family?
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:33:00
  Speaker 3: This is a family environment.
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 5: Yes. And I think that's what's going to happen tomorrow.
• 1:33:03
  Speaker 2: Do you think it's going to be a long time
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 2: to color your teeth in?
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: No, it's fucking real, bro.
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:33:08
  Speaker 6: So that, but I still got paid. I got paid
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 6: 500 bucks and I only did like 10 minutes and
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 6: they're like.
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 2: All right, brother.
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: And the guy's like, I'm sorry about that, dude. They're tripping.
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 1: But I still, I still got an eight, you know,
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 1: and then I left.
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 3: I remember I tried to write some jokes for, like,
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 3: Us Weekly or something one time, and they were like, hey, Matt,
• 1:33:23
  Speaker 3: we can't use any of these. And this is like
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 3: a family magazine. I'm like, no, but this is funny.
• 1:33:30
  Speaker 2: Did you just finish scratching your crotch? It looked kind
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 2: of wrinkled right there. No, fool.
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 1: I just had tight pants, bro.
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 2: Fuck. That's your hair, for real?
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 1: Yes, fool.
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 2: What the fuck? Does it come off like my hair? No.
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: That was a style in 2018, bro.
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 3: I won't bring it back, bro.
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 1: I'm going to trim, I think, tomorrow.
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 2: You're going to do it like that again?
• 1:33:54
  Speaker 5: No, no, not like that, no.
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 2: You were like luring people in a show to catch
• 1:34:00
  Speaker 2: a predator?
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 1: I could have, bro.
• 1:34:03
  Speaker 2: It was crisp.
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 1: I was 10 pounds lighter, bro.
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're very young in that, right? Like 22 or something?
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: No, that was like eight years ago.
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know how old you are.
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 2: It's 50.
• 1:34:15
  Speaker 3: How old are you in this picture?
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: I must have been like 28, 27.
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 1:34:19
  Speaker 1: But I was 10 pounds lighter, too.
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 2: Gotcha. Yeah.
• 1:34:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, you look young. You're looking young now.
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: Thank you. I just need to lose. I'm 138, and
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 1: I get back.
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 3: To 128, bro.
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 2: Who you trying to fight?
• 1:34:34
  Speaker 3: The quinceañera.
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: I got to fight all those quinceañeras.
• 1:34:37
  Speaker 2: Too many pots and woks, bro. I know, bro.
• 1:34:41
  Speaker 1: We ate a lot this weekend, bro.
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 2: What's up, Food Podcast? Thank you, everybody, for hanging out
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 2: with us on the What's Up Food Podcast. Go watch
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 2: Matt Voltron's fucking special, man.
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Alter Reality.
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 2: Woo!
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 3: Check it out.
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 2: I look like Donny Parton now, huh?
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 3: You look like John Belushi looking like Beethoven.
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah.
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 1: Peace.
• 1:35:09
  Speaker 2: I look like De Niro.
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 4: This guy's been shouting out from the Coachella Valley for hours.
• 1:35:20
  Speaker 5: Hell yeah.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 2: What up, fools?
• 1:35:22
  Speaker 6: Pretend you're him, but in, what's it called, in The Untouchables.
• 1:35:26
  Speaker 1: Pretend you're a, what's his name?
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 2: A man steps up to the field. Individuality. The guys
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 2: in the field, baseball, shortstop, that's the team. And what
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 2: happens if the team don't win? The team loses. Yeah.
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 2: And the team loses because one guy goes all the
• 1:35:52
  Speaker 2: way to be an individual. What'd they catch him for, bro?
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 3: Tax evasion.
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 6: That's the craziest thing, bro. Like, out of all the
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 6: things that got him for that. And then I'll say,
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 6: I'll say, Felipe, like, I think they came up with
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 6: the cure for syphilis. I mean, they had already, but, like,
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 6: he died, like, what.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 1: A year before?
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 1: Like, it was actually used, like, worldwide, nationwide.
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 2: That's crazy.
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 3: He died a year before it made the news?
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 2: Is that what you're saying?
• 1:36:24
  Speaker 1: No, no, he died, I think, a year before they used, like, penicillin.
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, before they got the medicine.
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.