Latest / The Multiverse Collective / Wild Wild West Interlude 4: Cheese, Cheese; My Horse for a Wheel of Cheese

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Wild Wild West Interlude 4: Cheese, Cheese; My Horse for a Wheel of Cheese · The Multiverse Collective

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  The multiverse. Cognitive.
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  Well, Itchy made an interesting choice, didn't he?
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  Oh boy oh boy. Diddy.
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  All this for a wheel of cheese. All this for a wheel of cheese.
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  I think it's about a little bit more than just a wheel of
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  cheese, but we'll get there when we get there, Lord Head.
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  Of emergency. I think Itchy in the presence of
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  of that portal, there is some sort of pull on you.
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  And I don't know if Ichi noticed it at first, but I think him
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  getting the sight when he was unconscious triggered something.
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  And you know, this timeline's not necessarily super linear and
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  I don't love that as the DM here, but it is what it is.
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  So I think, Ichi, when you're unconscious, you go somewhere
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  you've never been, or you go somewhere you never remember
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  being before you arrive here alone.
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  It appears to you as a hallway. White tiled floor, painted white
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  walls, the set of grey double doors at the end.
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  It feels sterile and cold. Any anybody here?
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  Hello, where am I slick? There is no response and if you
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  turn around there is nothing behind you.
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  There is only the way forward. Like nothing is in, it's a blank
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  wall, or nothing is in, there's nothing.
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  As in, there's nothing. It's a void.
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  Behind you is just a void, and in front of you is a set of
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  doors maybe 20 feet down the hole, maybe 25.
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  All right, I think Ichi's just gonna kind of do a quick 360,
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  just kind of look around. If I look at the void, is it
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  literally just like a black void?
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  Yeah, it's just a black void. It honestly it reminds you a bit
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  of the portal that you saw at your at your family's property.
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  OK. Can she try and touch it?
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  Yeah, you can try and touch it. I I don't want to like, I don't
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  want to like super, super get into it.
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  I just kind of want to like see if I can like touch it with my
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  hand, like what? What happens?
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  Yeah, It feels like you're touching a pool of ice cold
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  water. When you touch it with your
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  hand, it smells kind of sulfuric, but it's cold to the
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  touch and it does feel like a liquid.
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  Not necessarily the same viscosity as water, a little
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  different, but not in a way that you can like pinpoint.
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  What would happen if I tried to like, stick my finger in it and
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  like hold it there for a couple of seconds?
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  Anything. Yeah, it actually you see your
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  finger come through on the opposite side of it.
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  So think of it as in the half that you've stuck your hand into
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  your hand comes out the other half as if it's the mirror set
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  of double doors. Whoa.
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  God damn. You get, you get the feeling
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  that if you were to walk through the left half of this, you would
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  emerge from the right half. Can Ichi stick his head in?
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  No, you're you just find your head sticking back into the
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  hallway. You can look at your body.
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  What the hell is going on here? All right, shit, Evander would
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  know what to do here. Evander's not here.
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  All right, well, enough mucking around in here, I guess.
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  There's no way to go but forward, and I think Ichi's
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  gonna turn away from the void and walk through the set of
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  doors in front of him. Yeah, absolutely.
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  Through the doors is just a waiting room.
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  It's like something out of the future to Itchy.
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  It's bland and it's boring art on boring walls.
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  And you've never seen anything like it.
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  You've never conceptualized chairs of this design.
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  They're made of a material you've never imagined, and
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  they're well worn despite their futuristic construction.
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  This is a place unlike anything you've seen before.
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  It's far beyond even the farthest reaches of your
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  imagination. And if you turn around, you'd
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  notice the double doors behind you have disappeared as well.
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  And at the front of the room are a series of windowed cubicles
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  with numbers above them. Only one is staffed.
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  A man sits at a chair behind the glass.
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  He's smiling placidly. He's wearing a white button up
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  shirt and is perfectly unremarkable, save for the fact
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  that he's wearing crown made from gnarled barbed wire,
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  causing him to bleed profusely from his hairline.
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  Jesus Christ. He is wearing a name tag.
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  You can't read it. The letters are undulating.
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  They're constantly shifting between different runic symbols
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  and letters that you almost recognize and letters that you
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  don't. Now seeing C141 at booth number
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  six and if you look in your hand, you'll find a slip of
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  paper that says C141. I think Ichi just kind of looks
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  down, doesn't question it. And he just I, you know, I feel
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  like, I feel like most people would be freaking out.
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  I think Ichi is just so like taken aback that his like the
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  adrenaline is going so much that it is like overflowed and he's
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  just like, he feels completely neutral, like, all right, well,
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  this is fine. I guess that's my number.
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  And he walks up to the nice man wearing a barbed wire crown.
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  Yeah, absolutely. You approach him and he just, he
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  smiles at you. This is a friendly, normal
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  interaction for him. Itchy very politely does the hat
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  thing. How's it going?
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  I'm, I'm not quite sure. Well, not quite sure of
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  anything, I guess. Would you be able to, I don't
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  know, maybe answer some questions like where, where am
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  I? What?
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  What is this? Where did I go?
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  I have had my eye on you a long time, Zevuon.
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  I'm a horseman like you, and yours were always something
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  special. Well, I can't say that.
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  I can't say that. I don't feel a little bit proud
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  of that. But continue.
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  I sent a friend to acquire one from you.
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  It was too bad you turned them down.
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  All of this and you'll flash to the smoldering remains of
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  Amadeus Springs, just briefly. It's like a punch to the gut
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  that lasts a second and then it's over in in in an instant.
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  All of this was avoidable. Pride so often goes before
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  destruction, doesn't it? Is that be 1?
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  I don't know what you're implying here.
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  That horse is mine. That horse was yours.
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  I saved him. You.
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  You shot him, Zebulon. You were backed into a corner
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  and you took the life of a creature that trusted you.
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  He had no choice but to trust you.
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  He knows exactly what you've done, Zebulon.
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  I will keep him safe. I will keep him safe from you.
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  I think Ichi, he wants to speak but I think he's just like like
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  grating his teeth and he has he has like 1 arm just like propped
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  up against this counter on the other side.
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  And he is just like, he's like clenching his fists like white
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  knuckled. And I think he's just, he knows
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  that he's wrong and he he wants to explain himself.
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  But I think every time he tries to come up with the words, they
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  just, they disappear before they before they leave his throat.
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  And so I think Ichi's just standing there, teeth bared,
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  fist clenched, and he just narrows his eyes and he's just
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  like, what do you want from me? He claps twice, and the two of
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  you appear in a glorious staples.
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  It's unlike any that you've ever been in before.
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  You know, You can imagine that this is comparable to what you
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  would find in an old European city.
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  The two of you are standing there in front of a stall, and
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  within that stall is Evander, but not the Evander that you
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  last saw him as. He has rotted as a decomposing
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  body would. His bones are exposed and where
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  his flesh has fallen away, it's been replaced by this molten
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  magma like substance that's undulating under this
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  translucent membrane. He is truly a creature of hell.
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  Here I. Think Ichi takes a second when
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  when Ichi looks into Evander's eyes, does Evander like meet his
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  gaze? Yes, but his eyes are not his
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  own. It's not Evander that you know.
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  This is a knowing gaze. This is the freakish entity
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  that's appeared since you shot your normal companion.
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  I think if he is just like slowly, like his, his hands are
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  up, he's just kind of slowly walking back and just shaking
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  his head. Just no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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  He he turns back to the man. He's just like, please, it.
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  It wasn't supposed to go like this.
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  This Evander. Evander didn't deserve this.
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  I, I, I, I I need to make this right.
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  So how, how, how do I make this right?
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  What did you sell your soul for, Zebulon?
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  What did you kill Evander for? For vengeance.
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  The best vengeance would have been a life well lived.
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  But you humans are so petty you can't see past your own hatred.
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  The only real truth is that all human divinity on Earth is dead,
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  and that my children, my children, my family are all that
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  is left on your plane. There's no making this right,
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  Zebulon. What's done is done.
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  You don't get to undo promises you've made to demons, Zebulon.
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  I think I think all Ichi can do is just kind of like fall to his
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  knees. I'm merely A scavenger feeding
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  on the scraps of your insignificant human squabbles.
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  He did not deserve to be a casualty in your quest for a
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  vengeance. Does anyone?
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  And he smiles at you, and he reaches down and he tilts your
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  chin up to look at him. He says it's quite all right.
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  I've always enjoyed humanity's love of senseless violence.
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  I. Think Ichi's just looking into
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  this man's eyes. Just I think he's, I think Ichi
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  is just like tears are just running down his face and he
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  just looks up and he's just like, no, no, this can't be this
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  can't be this can't be outless ants.
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  I there, there has to be, there has to be something.
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  Every action bears a consequence, Zebulon, every word
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  a meaning. Make no mistake, this has been a
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  mercy. A a a a trade.
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  I'll, I'll, I'll trade you. I'll trade you a soul.
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  Yeah, That. That's what I can do.
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  Can can I do that? I mean, I can.
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  I can I, I don't know, promise you another one for mine in
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  return for. Whose soul do you have to trade,
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  Zebulon? You've given up yours.
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  You've given up Evanders. There's another soul that
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  belongs to you in this world, A soul for you to trade away.
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  I'll, I'll, I'll get one all right.
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  Shit, if I can get if, if I can get my life back together, I'll
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  get I don't know how many want me. 510 Look, I got business.
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  I got business back, back where I come from.
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  I got at least one. I'm sure you know, I'm sure you
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  know well about him. But look, he's yours.
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  Your brother's. Soul has belonged to me for far
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  longer than yours belongs to her, Ichi.
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  And he smiles at you as he uses your nickname instead of your
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  first name for the first time in your conversation with him.
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  I think Ichi takes a mental note of this.
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  You don't have a soul to give me.
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  Shit, all right, fuck, I think Ichi is just like going through
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  the Rolodex of. Yeah, as you're doing this, he
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  just, he claps you back to the waiting room.
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  You're back in the DMV, both of you together as you were when
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  you first started this conversation.
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  Look, look, all right, there has to be there has to be somebody
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  that that I can give you in return for my life back.
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  There has to be somebody. I don't care.
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  I don't care who it is. I don't care what it is.
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  I will find that for you, all right?
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  I I I want my life back and I want my brother erased from
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  existence. I don't care.
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  I don't care what I have to do in in the.
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  I don't know what y'all call it the mortal realm.
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  Look, Ezekiel Blankenship. I will.
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  I am. I am planning on following him
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  to the ends of the earth to do what I need to do to make things
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  right. There is something you can do
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  for me. It is no small task and you will
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  need the help of your friends James and Arthur.
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  I don't know what James. That's all right.
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  You'll know when you're ready. Even though my children, my
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  children, they've been fighting amongst themselves.
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  It's rather unbecoming. We are all that's left of
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  divinity on your plane. I wish to present a united front
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  as the world comes into its own again.
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  My daughter Lilith, she's greedy, She hasn't.
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  She hasn't stopped consuming since the uprising.
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  She's becoming more powerful than her brothers.
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  This this may be an inopportune time to to to cut in here.
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  I I assume I will be getting no context about any of this.
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  You need context. You have the site now.
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  Your little friend gave it to you.
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  What context do you need? You've asked for a way to get
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  your life back Zebulon, and I'm offering you one.
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  Get my children to stop fighting, stop Lilith from
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  eating the world. That is all.
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  And he claps 2 more times and you wake up in your body in the
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  primary room of this cabin amongst your friends Slick and
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  Arthur Slash Pete and your new friend Matthew Cash.
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  You love it now you don't even want me alone.
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  But can I say one thing, baby, Don't go.
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  Don't let the gun invisible. Doing it all again.
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  But we both are miserable. There we all go, Say I'll be in
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  there for call. You wouldn't do it all again but
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  alone me, I please in fire.
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  You wouldn't do it all again but alone.
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  Me, I please in fire. You said tomorrow.
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  Please call me back. But kill us, say one thing,
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  maybe don't go, don't let the gun and there's a boy do it all
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  again. But we both not that miserable.
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  Maybe I'll go save me and difficult you were to do it all
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  again. But I know never plays a boy.