Latest / overslept w/ chris laker / cost me nothing - oct 21 2026
Transcript
- Chris Laker: I told you I'd be here. I'm here. Probably do a short show. I ran 22 miles. It took me a very long time. It was raining. I'm running along the beach. There's a path along the beach. there's a route to go around Marina Del Rey that I can never find. I get lost in Marina Del Rey every time I try to do this and then just end up running around this weird neighborhood for ten miles, twelve miles, something like that, and then run back up from Venice Beach to Pacific Palisades. I know that's a LA talk. What do you care? I'm just explaining to you what just happened. I don't got a lot of energy. So, and that's all I have to talk about is that I ran that much. And I feel like I will get through the marathon. I probably spent two hours in the rain while I was out there. But I ran for I'll tell you four hours, which that's not quick. I can't do quick if I'm doing twenty two miles. that's my Philadelphia marathon training update. I Don't think that that interests people. I don't like talking about it. But I did. In case it interests you, which it shouldn't. I had some complaints about TikTok censorship the other day, but for some reason today my engagement's gone crazy on TikTok. lot of action over there on TikTok. A lot of likes, a lot of comments. And not comments that are saying, hey, fuck you. Some of those. Not fuck you. Somebody told me to shut up, which sure. I guess. the video's over now. that you were telling to shut up. So I don't now I'm shut up. Well now I'm talking. But as far as that person's concerned, I'm shut up. That doesn't bother me. It's good. It's better than him saying shut up to himself and not writing that and not giving me that sweet engagement. It's all good. Any engagement. It got flagged. They tried to hide it from me, this comment, TikTok. They're like, you don't want to see this comment. It's mean. I said, No, I want to see it. I want to like it. I want to say hello. Maybe I can turn them around and make them a fan. Follow me on TikTok at Chris Laker Comedy. If you're not on TikTok, get an account. I know You don't want it on your phone. Do it for me. I'm just I'm joking. Don't do it for me. You're good. You're better. If you are not on there and you're like, I'm not doing that, you're right. Don't do it. As a matter of fact, if you're on Instagram, delete that shit. This podcast really is about making clips, though. It's not. It's not. The podcast is about the podcast. I the clips is just what more people see. if you haven't gathered by the amount of success I don't have, I kind of don't care enough. I'm talented. Maybe I'm not talented enough and I'm afraid to face it. What's that even mean? It's a very subjective thing. just follow me on TikTok if you have TikTok and you haven't to follow me. That's all I'm trying to say. And then like the videos. write a comment. you can tell me to shut up too. That's fine. I won't know it's you. I'll like it and be happy that you commented. I'm a little loopy from the run. I still feel like maybe I'm not fully hydrated. While I was driving home from the beach, my my fingers were numb. That's not good, now here I here I am with you. And I I'm I'm sorry to babble and say nothing. Why am I I'm not sorry. That's the show. The show is I babble and say kind of nothing for however long. And then I do the news, which is why you're really here. But you have to listen to the beginning. You don't have to. You could fast forward. I wonder if people fast forward to that. it's an inefficient way to get your news. I'll say that. I'll say that. Why do I When I say things like that, I'll say that. Honestly, I I'm very annoyed with myself. The amount of likes I'm not I'm not happy with. I'd like to have a reduct. Sometimes a like is needed. Sometimes a you know is needed. Those things are not completely without use. But once they get abused, there's a problem. Much like huffing spray paint. You do a little bit, that's fine. You're doing it every day, you gotta cut back. You can't huff spray paint every day. it's gotta be a Saturday night. It's gotta be you're hanging with your buddies, not just you're alone in an I thought it was funny to talk about huffing spray paint. It's not funny. Inhalants are really bad for you. Don't do them. It's not cool. Particularly you kids out there. adults, you can do what you want, make your own decisions. Obviously, you're not supposed to have spray pain. You can't recreationally. it's not like drinking wine. If you have like a glass of couple of glasses of wine. in a restaurant where it costs ten times as much for some reason. Why is that? Why do they have the right to charge that much more for wine in a restaurant, but not Coca-Cola? Maybe they charge a little more than if I bought a soda at 7 Eleven, but they don't charge me 50 bucks which basically they're doing with the one. I don't drink, so I don't have to worry about it. I might have the numbers off there in terms of like it equals a fifty dollar Diet Coke. I don't even get a Diet Coke with dinner. That is a movie drink. I'm gonna get to the news. Airbnb is limiting hosts from requiring guests to do the dishes or take out the trash as part of its new guidelines. I didn't know they were still doing that. I've not stayed in Airbnb where I was asked to do anything other than maybe take out the trash for years. I've stayed at a decent amount of Airbnbs. I know they're bad for the local economy people buy places to Airbnb out, that takes inventory. out of circulation, drives up rents. It's bad. But hotels are insanely expensive. Airbnb is just pretty expensive most places. Some places like almost the same than stay at a hotel. I kind of like Airbnb. Makes me feel like I live where I'm staying. mentally put myself in that city or town. this is my new home. This is my apartment now. it feels good because it's very clean, not a lot of stuff in it. I'm organized. I got my shit together and I've moved to Hudson, New York. There's not really a hotel. There is one hotel to stay at there. You got Airbnb. some people were still trying to get people to make the bed and shit. Can't do that anymore. no more chores at the Airbnb. Meta ordered to pay $25 billion for deceiving users on privacy. It's in New Mexico they did that. They went after Meta. They got to pay $25 billion. That sounds like a lot of money. I don't think you can find them enough money for them not to deceive users about privacy. That seems like their business model. Is deceiving users about privacy. And if they had to really not do that, they'd go out of business. Mark Zuckerberg was like, well, guess I'm gonna done. I gotta be honest about privacy with users. I don't even want to do this anymore. I'm already rich. What am I doing here? Why am I going to work every day like a lunatic? It's a good question, Mark Zuckerberg. Why do you go home? Enjoy your life. Stop bothering people. Body cam footage leaked in police shooting that killed one year old Cohen Wiley, Sent Sanetobia, Mississippi. I'm not gonna watch that video. There's nothing in that video that's gonna make me say, yeah, you should have all drawn your guns and started shooting at somebody who was shoplifting diapers for their baby. And you should have shot the baby. There's not gonna be a video where the baby looks menacing. I think this Mississippi Attorney General, I forget her name. an evil person. I think she's gonna run for governor. That's what I've seen said. She's running for governor, so she doesn't wanna discipline police while she's running for governor of Mississippi. I hope, I'm not gonna say what I hope, because it's bad. It's really bad. You hope your own bad thing to happen to the Attorney General of Mississippi and these cops that shot a baby because they got a report of somebody shoplifting diapers and they swarm a car with guns pulled out. I can't watch people die. I definitely can't watch a baby be shot. I saw too much shit in the two thousands internet, rotten dot com and all that stuff. one day I said, I don't think it's good for me to watch people die. probably shouldn't do that. Not that I watched a ton of it. I think you don't have to watch people get murdered. I think that's good. I don't I don't think you should ever watch people get murdered if you can avoid it. if you need to watch that body cam footage, it is it's been leaked. It was not public because it's not good. if there was something in there that somehow made this shooting actually look justified, that would be a public body cam video. But no, it had to be leaked And nothing's gonna happen to these cops except hopefully immense guilt that haunts their dreams. And the same for the attorney general whose name I forget, but terrible human being. I said fuck you multiple times before, but it's just bears repeating. if I had three wishes, I don't know if I'd one of them would be to Hmm, if I had three wishes, what would I do with those three wishes? Well, I there'd be one overall wish that would probably cover this attorney general. That would be one a one overall wish. It wouldn't be a specific wish directed. I don't know what the wish rules are. Can you do an overall then? A specific for me. I gotta take a little something out of that. then a good one for the world. Okay. I'm only taking one wish out of the three wishes. Two, going out. One, hey, I gotta get a little something. Okay. I gotta just get taken care of. I don't imagine I'll get the three wishes. if I got three wishes like in the Shaquille O'Neal movie Kazam, which is a good movie. I wonder if the kid gets three wishes in that. I forget if he got three. It would go along with lure if he got three, but sometimes they change it for a movie. To make the plot more interesting. you only get two wishes, only get one wish. I'm guessing Kazam he got three wishes. I have not rewatched in a long time. I'm sure it holds up Pope Leo needs no further cancer treatment, Vatican says. I am vehemently against the Catholic Church, but I am pro-Pope Leo. I'm sorry. The guy's charismatic. He got me. I'm a sucker sometimes. been duped and I've been scammed. It's happened before. It could be happening now, but I'm happy to hear Pope Leo needs no further cancer treatment. Not that I really trust the party line coming out of the Vatican, though. But it sounds at least they want us to believe he's doing well. So all right. I'll believe it. cost me nothing.