Latest / Veteran Wellness Podcast / Surviving 5 Nerve Gas Exposures: Special Forces, EOD & Healing | Dave LaMorte
Transcript
- Dave LaMorte: I am probably the only person you'll ever run into that's survived five nerve gas exposures and I carried botulism for over thirty days, which is normally like kills you in twenty four hours, So they they literally It's I'm try I'm doing my best to set records in things I didn't know there were records to be set. ERIK: Dave Lamort, how the hell are you? Dave LaMorte: I've I'm actually better. I'm I'm recovering. I've for all the stuff I've been through. I thought I was done with the with the tests, but apparently there's another test in line. I'm just I just had ERIK: Yeah, tell me what just happened. Dave LaMorte: I well just just about a month ago I started having trouble breathing. like sitting up all night. sucking off one of those boost oxygen cans and the I thought it was after effects of having an allergic reaction but th that was a pretty tough one. And like close to anaphylactic shock kind of kind of thing. And so I thought I was like getting over that, but it kept getting worse to the point where I actually tossed in the towel and and Went to the hospital and you know, they walk in and they go they do some tests. They walk in and they go like, Well, you're suffering from conjective conjective or no con con su conjective heart failure. They said ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: heart failure and I was like, What? Really? Come on, give me a break. It's like so they scheduled me and I just went in. It's just Tuesday. It was only two days ago. I went in and they did a heart cat thing. And while they're in there, once they've got that st you got a vein opened up and they're they're ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: got the probe in there, they went ahead and put a couple stints in. apparently ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: it's the longest stints they make, they put two of them in there back to back and and opened up a artery that was apparently completely blocked. And ERIK: well that's good. Dave LaMorte: yeah, yeah. Well, you know, it's good they opened it up because no, I I had a friend that that that literally he didn't get taken care of and he ended up with part of his heart dying. He lived he lived for his last five or six years with only two chambers of his heart working. So ERIK: Well, that's miraculous that he lived that long. Dave LaMorte: It is. And but he you know, knowing knowing remembering that I went like, Yeah, whatever you gotta do, just get it done. And ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: so I I told him I says to me this is the same as, like I say, breaking a leg or blowing a blow it a tendon or something. You y get it fixed and then you you get better. It's ERIK: Well, at least you didn't get it from, licking chemical weapons, or anything like that. Dave LaMorte: Well, they don't know. They don't know. They they there's there's w when he took my history and this guy led a very active life. He's taken my history and my I now have a primary care doctor, which I didn't have for twenty years and who was a military doctor, they're they're going they're thinking like we actually have no idea what caused this because you've been exposed to everything in the world. We have no idea what started ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: this. But it's like say it just just Just take care of business and I got plenty to do here for rehab. I'm I'm gardening ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: now and I'm cutting trails through the woods and and building a new range. So we're we got plenty to do that's going to help me with the rehab. So ERIK: Yeah, that's awesome. And we'll get into that later 'cause that's a very exciting angle that I like that you grew into. And also maybe some of your chemical weapons stories down the line too. 'Cause the exposure Dave LaMorte: Fe yeah. ERIK: you've had is like, my lord, you make you make me feel like a cherry compared to it. Dave LaMorte: Mo mo most mo most people think I'm I'm full of crap when if they hear the totality of of the things I've ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: been exposed to and and gotten over, It's I I ERIK: Well that's an EOD thing. Dave LaMorte: I am I am probably the only person you'll ever run into that's survived five nerve gas exposures and I carried botulism for over thirty days, which is normally like kills you in twenty four hours, right? So they they literally It's I'm try I'm doing my best to set records in things I didn't know there were records to be set. ERIK: Well, I tease your brother, it's your last name that helps you, Dave LaMorte: Well, they don't actually want us to die and get to the other side 'cause we'd raise too much of a ruckus, I think. ERIK: Yeah, they're holding you off for a while, but have to breach that door one day. But yeah, we we've known each other quite a while and and you and Scott, s in w in special forces forever. Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: I got in eighty seven, so I don't know what year you guys got in, but probably a couple before that. Dave LaMorte: about ten about I got into SF about ten years before that. And of course before ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: that I was working as a bomb disposal technician. So and that's where all the exposure ERIK: Yep. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: the nerve gas exposures, mustard gas, I've I've got that one and and B Z, which is like freebie, 'cause that's just weaponized LSD essentially if you simplify it. and and like say they I and I I think I've told you before it was the L S D that saved me from that. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, that's probably true. Dave LaMorte: 'Cause I was a s I was essentially reduced to about a you know, a fifty IQ point intellect and the L S D made my brain just regrow, rebuild. And I'm ERIK: Hm. Wow. Well and we've we're gonna be talking about that too, the healing effects of all those psychedelics with nervous systems and brain. It's just amazing. I I've I've seen Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: it, you've seen it. But how was it being an S F with Scott? That'd be weird to have your brother in. You guys are in the same Dave LaMorte: Well initi and ERIK: reserve unit? Dave LaMorte: it no no. he started out in the eleventh. I think that's where you met him. The ERIK: I was nineteenth. Dave LaMorte: that was the nineteenth, okay. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I'm sorry, you're you're right, that was the nineteenth. He did some time in the eleventh, I think. The but eventually he once I got off active duty, I was in the twentieth group up there in Maryland, and ERIK: that's right. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: and he gravitated up there and he asked me, he is real nice and and 'cause he's I think he's expecting me to say no, 'cause I was a team sergeant and and he's going like, I'd really like to be on your team. I said, Yeah, okay. I said, But I'm cutting you no slack. I ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: said, I said, d it's just a natural thing. I'm gonna expect a little bit more from you than anybody else. And I'll tell you what, he he measured up. He was my senior engineer, ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: he covered my ass and nobody There was nothing going on I didn't know about. he's really good. He's he's low key. You don't know it when you first meet him, but ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: he's a really good intel officer. He's he's ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Dave LaMorte: and he he was on top of everything and and it worked out. Peep people were thinking he was getting over or something, but I worked him like a dog and and he he ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: rose to the occasion. And then later when the the unit up there in Maryland went to pieces, we both transferred down to AP Hill because they opened up that's when the they Company at AP Hill went to the twentieth group and I went we went down there, which was good for me because I was too busy with my agency stuff to be a good team sergeant. It's ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: if you're a good team sergeant, there's a lot of extra hours put in, and I didn't have that because I was deploying all the time. And at ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: AP Hill, they let me they gave they they gave me a administrative reduction in rank to E seven, which I wanted. And ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: So I had a really good relationship with the team sergeant and the team leader and Scott was on the same team and it blew people away. It it really did. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: He ha he had a lot of fun with it because before he got his back and his neck broken in Afghanistan, we looked a lot alike. You know, he put on a lot of weight for ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: a while. It's gone now. He's he's all lean ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: now. But but at the time there were people literally in our own company who didn't realize there were two Lamorts for at least a half a year. It took a it took a ha it ERIK: that's funny. Dave LaMorte: took six months for people to put together that those were two different Lamorts they were looking at. And you know, we and we're doing we're w ERIK: that's funny. Dave LaMorte: we I tried if we were going someplace and we're two helicopters, we tried not to be on the same helicopter. But ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Dave LaMorte: if I occasionally that happened and and so we broke a few rules but we didn't really give a hoot about the rules so ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Shocking. Dave LaMorte: the It it worked out great. And and he is between that and the I'm sure he talked about it on the podcast, but you know, he became my hero after the Walter Reed thing. ERIK: yeah, no kiddin. Yeah, he he fell on his sword Dave LaMorte: He was he he was ERIK: there. Dave LaMorte: he didn't just fall on a s he stood up for everybody he needed to stand up for. And he was a mess because he was living with me. I I got him to move out of his apartment. I had an apartment in the basement of my house. And I got him to live down there. He was really messed up, but he just wouldn't let on to anybody. And what he did with that Walter Reed thing, I just I just look at him, he's one of my heroes. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah he Dave LaMorte: I don't have the patience for that. I'm I'm I'm the kind of guy who just says, the heck with this and I would have walked into Walter Reed with two forty fives and started shooting doctors. but he ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: he did the right thing and he he testified for Congress and everything. I just and and he blossomed at that time. He truly ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: became the sergeant major at that point. The kind of sergeant major you'd like to have, not the guy who's looking at your boot laces. Yeah. ERIK: Yeah, I was gonna say that's yeah, that yeah, yeah, there's no E ten. let's just take care of the guys. You're maxed out, buddy, Dave LaMorte: Right. And he he was he was the and and 'cause of our relationship, which was not good when we were younger. We we we put we banged heads all the time, you know. He was he literally was mad at me when I joined the army 'cause then he had to pull he had to pull up all the slack around the house. He was the last one home, which meant all the grass mowing, all the chores, all the work fell onto him. The first time I came home on leave he gave me more crap than you could imagine for for It's like I dumped on him. I said I wasn't dumping ERIK: Believe in him. Dave LaMorte: on you. I I'm I'm growing up, I'm in the army, I'm not dumping on you, but he he really took that hard. And then when he wanted to get in the military, 'cause our older brother, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, our older brother was KIA in Vietnam. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: another serious hero. So it's he's another person you you leaves you a legacy you gotta live up to. And So my parents didn't want to see him going to military at all. ERIK: Of course. Dave LaMorte: And so that's why I talked him into going into the guard unit so he could he could make up his mind later, but I wanted that way he kinda could ease into it without our parents ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: actually having strokes because they were really upset ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: when he joined the military. But it and and it was a rough start. I mean, tell a story on him. I mean, he went to jump school three times. ERIK: my lord. Dave LaMorte: And when he and y they recycled him the first or they they kicked him out the first time 'cause he was one one push up or one chin up short. And I and and I'm like I was lit I was I was yelling at him. I said, this is not a test about can you do this many pull ups, it's it's seeing how much heart you've got. And then and then ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: when he got finally got down to S F school to Bragg, he drowned during the swim test. And ERIK: Well, that's called perseverance, Dave LaMorte: And and but ERIK: you know. Dave LaMorte: but I told him well they they kept him over, taught him how to swim, and he went right back and took the test again. But but I was telling him I said, This is about heart. You got you just gotta you gotta have that one more push up somewhere. You gotta have you gotta have that last ten yards in the pool someplace. But ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Dave LaMorte: he he he he learned that lesson and and he's been unstoppable ever since. He just had to do it his way. ERIK: Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, he he's well, we've all come around to a lot of the same conclusions too. We just took different roads to get there. I remember Dave LaMorte: Right. Yeah. ERIK: my first swim test in group and I didn't tell I didn't know how to swim. I was nineteen, Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: I figured I'll just fudge this shit and they pulled me aside and go, dude, we'll we'll teach you. In about three hours Dave LaMorte: Yeah. ERIK: I could pass the you know, the five hundred meter open water and the fifty underwater and all that. You know, it's just Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: instruction. It's like, yeah, I'll f I'll figure this out. I'm like, nah, I have from West Virginia, we don't swim. we play in the water, but we don't swim. Dave LaMorte: No, no, I get it. I I I get it. But it was mostly it was a matter of he always wanted to be like on the soccer team, but I I told you know, I'm telling him I says, You're not gonna make you're not gonna make the team and he'd get mad at me and I'm going like he says, How can you say that? I says, You're not walking around with a soccer ball. The guys that make the team are you see everywhere with soccer ball. You know, if you s ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: we grew up in an area where people played lacrosse. I said, you know, the guys who make the varsity team, you don't see without a lacrosse stick in their hands. They're constantly ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: bouncing the ball off a wall someplace. I and it took a while for him to get to that. But and ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: and he would he would get after me 'cause I ran marathons and cross country and stuff like that. He goes, How can you run that far? I go like you just do it. I I don't know how to explain ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: to it. You just just don't stop. The trick to finishing is not stopping. And ERIK: Mindset. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: so he it took him a while to get into his head, but he's he's got it now. He's he's unstoppable now. ERIK: yeah, no no doubt about that. Dave LaMorte: Yeah. ERIK: we we had a great podcast the other day. But how long were you in S F? I mean Dave LaMorte: I was actually in SF units about twenty six, twenty eight years. I don't keep track of the exact thing. ERIK: Yeah, that's what I thought. Dave LaMorte: six years as a bomb tech, then then SF and then by then of course you know I'm in the agency and in in guard and re and re in reserve units. So once I was in the agency I I finished up my time being attached to various Intel units. And and and they're pretty easy. They let you do that ERIK: Yeah. That's convenient. They let you do that, so it's pretty light. Dave LaMorte: And and basically you become like an advisor or a referent. You're writing you're doing ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: some research, writing a paper, things like that. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: But I was still doing that for a few years after I retired. People be doing ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Dave LaMorte: something. 'Cause Afghanistan and Iraq, there was no one prepared for that. The the old school ERIK: No. Dave LaMorte: guys who understood insurgencies. I I I mean, I used to bang my head against the walls after talking to people in Washington. I said, This is not counterterrorism, this is a counterinsurgency and I'd and and ERIK: Correct, yeah. Dave LaMorte: and and I'd And you're you're you're outlining and designing and running operations and they're they're going they're and they kept using the C ERIK: Like it's C T. Dave LaMorte: yeah, well they are. They're thinking C T and I'm running a counterinsurgency ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: operation and it was I was forever. And and you you you mentioned earlier my stress was never work. I never had a problem with the field. I never ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: had a problem with any of that. My problem was going back to Washington and dealing with a bunch of muttonheads. who don't actually know what we're doing in the field. a to the point that let ERIK: Yeah, trust me, I know. yeah. Well go go through your what got you into the agency and what did you do there? Dave LaMorte: the agency I I wanted nothing to do with the agency. Now I I was the well as a bomb tech, right? So your average bomb tech, when I went in, had several tours of Vietnam. They were home, they were drinking, they were smoking, they were eating, they were getting chubby, ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: they were having problems just passing a regular PT test, whereas I'm running marathons and stuff. And s so and I also From the very beginning in the military, every unit I ever went to, they made me an in a firearms instructor 'cause they outshot ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: the firearms instructors. And when they they got a call, 'cause this is the unit I was in, is the same unit now that like supports Delta. ERIK: okay. Dave LaMorte: It's the EOD unit from Edgewood that supports Delta and all the special operations stuff. I we seldom did that back then, right after Vietnam. But when they did, I would get those jobs. So they'd send me down to Fort Bragg, they hooked me up with a team that's actually been detailed to work for the agency. And I was going to field doing doing special projects. The the special projects at Bragg, held all those people. So I was doing special projects when I was still at Bomb Tech. So I find myself in a position where the once once once I got to Bragg, there's a guy trying to think of his name, his first name was John. he's one of the Sante Raiders, right? So he understood the special project business. And he took one look at my my file and I wasn't even on my team. He would he would send me he he literally walked me over to special project office and handed me over to him. So The team I was on at Fort Bragg, they they actually thought I was a worthless POS because I was never around. Y you know how a team is. If you if you're absent, you're you're you're you're null. ERIK: Hmm. yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: You're you're nothing. The but the team sergeant supported it and and y his last name was Young. John Young, does that ring a bell? He's one of the Sante guys. He's the famous guy who fell out of the back of a helicopter with a welding rig on his back, broke his back and still went and cut everything open down in at Sante and ERIK: Well s Saint Clair would know then, so Dave LaMorte: Sing yeah, yeah. Pat would know him. and and he introduced me some some seriously nice gu nice but brilliant SF operators, guys like Mike Simpson and things like that. the the kind of guys who who basically turned Delta into what it is now after the after the desert mess up there in Iran, they ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: brought in some of the old guys who basically re educated them on on on on field operations. so I got to meet guys like that early on. So they they all kept an eye on me. so eventually what happened is some guys who had gone to the agency when Reagan was the was the president and Bill Casey was was ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: the director of the agency, they this started building a team to go overseas and start going after terrorists. why wait for the terrorists to strike and try to respond? 'Cause it's already too late. All you can do is gather intel at that point. they were go they're gonna go offen be become offensive and go after And some guys came and got me and they they twisted my arm and made me fill out a form one seven one and drugged in there and I just it was a it was a walk on for me. But they put me right on the incident response team, which was actually doing whenever they could get authorities to do so, they were actually doing counterterrorism operations. And I was in there from the very yeah, I was with in the first ERIK: Hm. Pro Proactively. Dave LaMorte: proactively, yeah. And ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: these are these are the guys who were and there's a frustrated bunch. These are the guys who were like sitting in Beirut w when they had those six ERIK: No. Dave LaMorte: or seven guys. And they were basically on rooftops every night. At any given time they knew where four or five of were at, but they wouldn't let get because that's not everybody, And these guys were just just pounding their heads on the wall. And I was on there. I'd ended up doing three tours on that team. first as just one of the worker bees. then after I did a tour, there was an advanced team of in posted in in Europe. And then I they ERIK: Mm. Dave LaMorte: sent me right over there to be in charge of that. That made a lot of people upset 'cause I was still relatively new to the agency. And ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: so I ran it I ran that element over there. And then my last my last serious job in the agency was a friend of mine was put in charge of it and he he drugged me up from one of our from one of our black sites and put me in charge of training and overseas operations. So I was the number two for the team overall, but I was overseas, I would always be the the guy honchoing the operations over there. And ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: it worked out good because I had somehow learned my craft. So I was really good at it. and we actually had I I'm I'm I'm proud to say I never lost an American overseas and I never had an operation fail. ERIK: Hm. What year what years were you in Afghanistan? Dave LaMorte: But I credit I cred I credit that I cred and say again. ERIK: What years were you in Afghanistan? Dave LaMorte: well I was with the initial deployment to Afghanistan with the crowd that ended up in Kandahar. And ERIK: okay, down south there. Dave LaMorte: yeah, down south, yeah. So all the famous stuff, you know. So I I didn't ERIK: there. Dave LaMorte: get to I didn't get to ride any horses. ERIK: Yeah, yeah. You don't have the fancy helicopter picture, yeah. Dave LaMorte: N no. Well I have one helicopter picture someplace and but it would take me literally an hour to find it and another hour to figure out how to get it onto this phone and send it to you. The I ERIK: You take a picture of it, Dad. Dave LaMorte: well i I only have a digital copy. What when I find it, I'll send it to you after the fact if you're interested. ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Dave LaMorte: I didn't take a lot of pictures. I was always aware. When when when you ERIK: I know, I know. Dave LaMorte: when when you go through EOD school, they literally teach you how to testify in court. They also teach you what to say and what not to say. And I was the champion of not taking pictures. And and I used to screen any everybody's photographs because I had a rule, no wet spots in a photograph. You know, if you know what I mean. to ERIK: Yep. yeah. Dave LaMorte: the point where if if we've captured some people and and and their and their logistics and all, we would move a ton of ordinance to a place that was pretty. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And taking pictures of the stacks of the ordinance and and laying out the firearms and stuff like that with so that when they got to Washington there 'cause everybody accused ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: us of being crazy and cowboys and out of control and I didn't want to do anything to enhance that because in fact we weren't. We were very careful. And we and you know the early days of that, like when when Casey and Reagan were still around, we had to fight battles just to get an MP five with a suppressor. ERIK: Lord, that's insane. Dave LaMorte: good this is the Washington crowd. the Washington crowd. They're like if if you have guns or suppressors you just go over there and shoot everything up 'cause you can think you can get away with it. I go like, No, that's if we get caught putting an audio device in or a video device ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: in, you need to be able to get away without causing a massacre w you know, amongst ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: the people who who were being held hostage. And they they just couldn't get that. They always assumed we were out of control. They assumed we were cowboys. In fact it was a very professional crowd. And it was about half ex military people. And believe it or not, we had guys at the beginning there who were from they recruited guys out of LA SWAT, which had a big reputation. ERIK: I know. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And and and believe it or not, Baltimore SWAT. Baltimore SWAT had an awesome ERIK: Yes, I met a couple of Baltimore guys, yeah. Dave LaMorte: Yeah, that's in fact when I first got down to Fort Bragg a f a friend of mine was introducing me to some Vietnam vets, you know? And and they're going like, this is Dave, and and he he just got down in and they're going like 'cause I'm a new guy. I don't have I I these guys counted their time in Vietnam by years, not deployments, right? ERIK: Ha ha ha. Dave LaMorte: I mean I worked I some of my mentors had twelve years in Vietnam. And they're like, Yeah, okay, whatever, you know, and he's and then this friend of mine he's going like, Dave's from Baltimore and and a couple of times these these these vet, these older vets they're going like, You're from Baltimore? I go, Yeah And they go like Are you carrying a gun right now? And I went like, ERIK: Ha ha. Dave LaMorte: Well, sure, aren't you? And and they're like, You fuck excuse me, can you curse on this show? ERIK: Yeah, yeah, of course. Dave LaMorte: You fucking guys from Baltimore. Always ERIK: Well you need there. Come on. Dave LaMorte: He said, But he said and apparently in in that it was known that anybody who's from Baltimore is probably carrying a gun all the time, even in uniform. And I carried I carried in nineteen eleven in uniform all the time. I I l I love the blouse 'cause it covers up anything. And they they were on the other hand, they go like, We gotta we gotta get some we gotta get the these machine guns and this ammo out to the range. Well you have to have a firearm to escort stuff, right? I w I I I'd moved more stuff around Fort Bragg just because the company commander or the battalion commander knew that I was I didn't have to take the time to go to the arms room to draw a pistol and they also knew that they There was never never no incidents, never caused any incidents with firearms. Yeah, it was a judgment call. And ERIK: Yeah, judgment. Yeah. Correct. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: s but which again, reputation wise, it it enhanced what I was asked to do. I was asked to do lots of stuff and people people were always going, like, How come you get to do this? How come you get to do that? I go like, I don't know. But I did know is that management trusted me. They trusted me ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, well that they pay us for our judgment. I always used to tell that. not just my good looks, Dave LaMorte: But ERIK: it's for my judgment. Dave LaMorte: but the farther we got from Vietnam, the the worse the judgment got. That was a crowd that was ERIK: Yeah. Well I can see that too, but Dave LaMorte: a crowd that understood what happens when you goof up. And we got away from that that that judgment thing for a while. when I was in twentieth group, we were on a exercise out in Montana and they sent a guy out to to evaluate us who had been an old Vietnam hand. And he was still on active duty, he's still a team sergeant. And he he's he's looking at all my guys. I made everybody carry a sidearm all the time. You ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: know, in Montana we'd had incidents where, you know, a group of hunters have taken away all the sixteens from a team when they run across them. ERIK: Of course. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And I said, Yeah, that's not happening. And he says he says what he says, are they are those weapons hot? And I'm like, Yeah, everybody's required to, you know, carry their their sidearm. hot. I says, We want to shoot blanks, we have rifles for that. And he sa he says he says, Well that's amazing. He says 'cause he's he was still at Fort Bragg. He he goes, I got a team that's all Rangers. He says, If I let them have sidearms all the time, he says I'd have casualties right and left 'cause these guys would all be playing guns gunslinger and stuff. I says, Yeah, that's not ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: allowed. That kind of behavior's not allowed. And I ran into a guy a bunch of years later. He had been a very young guy, like an E four, this one I was a team sergeant. And they he was on our team t only temporarily. They brought him into the unit and he got qualified and we're out going out to the range. nice young guy and he he thought I was he told me later when he ran into me he he's he's he had by the way, I get to say Neil left SF and became a SEAL and got all the way up to E eight ERIK: Hmm. there you go. Dave LaMorte: E eight in the SEALs. So I run into him after he's had that time and he also ended up working for the agency. And so he he says, when I when I was younger when I knew you, he says, I thought you were the biggest dick in the world. He says, We'd be on the range and you were just an asshole. He says, But now that I've had to herd an entire SEAL team around, I realized that he says, I modeled how I managed people off how you managed us. He's he just he says, I realize now that you were keeping us from shooting each other on the r 'cause we've d we did a lot of live fire stuff when when back ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: when in the in the guard in the reserves, they didn't do that. They didn't do that at all. I was ERIK: Yeah, how bad. Dave LaMorte: I was running I was running active duty training, if you know what I mean. Because the Cold War was for ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: real and and our ability to be deployed if something popped was real. The unit was part of the hundred K call up. We'd have been, we'd have been on the boat before a lot of regular army units and stuff. And I I figured it was incumbent upon me to make sure they were ready to do as ready as possible to do that. luckily luckily ERIK: Yeah, of course. Dave LaMorte: that didn't happen 'cause n people didn't realize what that d the missions we had didn't realize how many of those missions didn't really have an exit plan. ERIK: yeah, no, they're one ways. Yeah, I used to love those meeting those planning meetings and you're like, K Dave LaMorte: You know, art. ERIK: how do we get out of here? they weren't planning on that part. Dave LaMorte: Yeah, and they and and they would always go, Well it's no there's no such thing as a one way mission, but we were deployed far beyond where a helicopter could come getcha. And and w that was actually ERIK: Exactly. Or they'll run out of helicopters by the time you need to leave. Dave LaMorte: when you do the planning stuff. I learned a lot 'cause I was one of the two or three guys we send down to the big planning meetings and when I realized the parameters they used, do you know they they wrote their planning was such that They wrote off half the C one thirties that would be deploying us. Anything ERIK: I believe it, yeah. Dave LaMorte: over that was like money found. and and s so when ERIK: Wow. Wow. Dave LaMorte: when you start doing the numbers and which I did all this figuring out, that I do a spreadsheet on everything. I I don't buy I don't buy my groceries without doing a spreadsheet. The I did a spreadsheet and come to realize using the the guidelines they had for planning They expected maybe one team from each group to return from those kind of missions. ERIK: I believe it. Yeah. We had the North Korea mission, so imagine that one. no no way. Dave LaMorte: Well, that's ugly. We had our our ours ours was actually in the Ukraine. So we're supposed to spot ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: so if it popped down in in the Middle East or if it popped in in in Europe, both either way they would be transitioning stuff through through the Ukraine and w you know, we're there running that running the surveillance missions to spot chemical and missile units and things like that. And yeah, they didn't There was they they were w we used to joke around, me and a couple of guys, 'cause we cross country skied, I also I I I I voluntarily got to go to the schools so I learned to be an instructor for the winter warfare stuff. And and they a couple of us we were we were always saying we were gonna take a pair of those track the the skis that were really wide. They're shorter than regular skis but wider and they had the permanent ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Alpine. Dave LaMorte: yeah, but they had the that they had the they had the grooves cut in them so you didn't have to wax them or anything. We always joked ERIK: Yeah. Fitch scales, yeah. Dave LaMorte: we always joked we were taking those with us 'cause our X fill plan was to follow just go north on the compass because the farther north you go the more it aims towards Siberia. And we always said ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: we're just gonna follow the north area till we till we get to the coastline and then steal a boat and go to Alaska. That that was our ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: That was our exfil. That that's by the way is a five year trick. That's a five year trick. I don't know if you've ERIK: Yeah. That might that might be arduous. Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: read that book. ERIK: Mm-hmm. I've read that. It's amazing. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: Well yeah. So that he was that was five years he spent getting to Turkey from Siberia. So I I ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. That's an E and E there. Dave LaMorte: there it is. And and so we joke about that. We knew we knew it was but we we we would go like, Yeah, you give it your best shot and we would just thought that, it's possible, so we give it shot. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And that was our attitude. Why not? ERIK: Well, how did you know all that turn into you becoming a healer pretty much? th what broke you? What was the Dave LaMorte: Well, th the the the the the healer thing goes all the way back to when I was a bomb tech. After the fur fifth nerve gas exposure, ERIK: Mm. Dave LaMorte: I was a functional idiot. The guys at the lab who were like who had gone through the whole process of con inventing B Z, right? ERIK: Yep. Dave LaMorte: They had volun there were volunteers c for everything. The and and and they would do a full work up on the guys coming in And a full workup on going out, and they could document any problems they had so that at the VA they'd be covered. They're very conscientious. And ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Smart. Dave LaMorte: and what they'd notice is that the guys leaving the testing instead of being damaged were 30 to 40 IQ points higher than when they came in. ERIK: What? Dave LaMorte: That's not a small amount. ERIK: No, that's huge. Dave LaMorte: So the colonel in our unit knew the colonel at the lab, who actually knew me because I helped. on some tests that they were doing. And and our colonel was talking to this guy literally at the Oak Club and he's saying, Yeah, I got these two guys. We're gonna have to process them out and they're gonna have a hundred percent disability. And he says, he says, you know, he says and they didn't know. Brain plasticity was not a term that had been been invented. They didn't understand any of that ERIK: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: then. Brain scans were very rudimentary back then. And and he says, well he says and it was me and another guy and and who were fried like that. And and he he said, Bring over to the lab. We can we we we can't maybe cure them, but we might be able to help them be not as stupid going forward. So I was told to show up at the ERIK: Ha ha ha. Dave LaMorte: colonel's office on a Monday morning, which I did. He put us in his car, drove us over to the lab, and which I have a entire clinic there 'cause to deal with and that was also where the at Edgewood where all the chemicals were at, is also where they would do their that was the They call it the the toxic aid station of all things. ERIK: jeez. Dave LaMorte: They would treat anybody who had a an injury. we had guys I wasn't the only one being in it was not unusual for a guy to be exposed to something at Edgewood. I mean, we're using antique butyl rubber suits and stuff like this, which spring leaks and et cetera. And the he so the colonel carries us over there and they told us we're gonna they're gonna do some testing. That's all they told us. We're gonna do some testing. We need you to stay hydrated. And had those huge cans of high seed juice. I don't know if you remember those. And ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: and they they pop over with with with the church key, And they ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: say, We need you to just start drinking this. They says, I want you to drink at least half of this now. He says, And I want you to just keep drinking. we don't want you to get dehydrated. And we're like, Yeah, okay. s and they had heavily dosed this stuff with L S D. This is the good lab stuff, all right? This this is this is the ERIK: yeah. Dave LaMorte: the the MK Ultra quality L S D and but they didn't tell us. So we're drinking this high ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: C and then we just kinda went into the this crazy zone. This this it was and if you don't know what's going on, believe it or not it sneaks up on you and you don't realize that something's not right. Stuff just starts getting weird and weirder and weirder and weirder. And and and so What we ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: thought what we thought was that evening, w when we finally come down from this, we get called into this colonel's office, the one from the lab, and he says he says, your colonel wants you to report to his office Monday morning. He says, and we'll we'll we'll follow up on this. And we said, Okay. Did he tell us what he wants us to do the rest of the week? 'Cause we're we're going like, good, w w we get the rest of the week off or what? 'Cause you know, we're we're in the military. We're we're like ERIK: Yeah, of course. Sham? Dave LaMorte: I'm off? And he says he's he he's I he's I says what what should we do the the rest of the week? Did he say anything or or whatever? And he says he says no. He says he says you you do understand it. This is Friday. We were we were completely ERIK: Ho ho ho Dave LaMorte: in another world for five days. And I still have memories clear as a bell of some of the weird stuff that happened. ERIK: my goodness. Dave LaMorte: 'Cause they let us walk around. They just they gave each of us a male nurse who were they were on shifts, of course, followed us around. I mean, we wandered into where they kept the chimpanzees. Y you y we just wander in and open the door and and there's this endless ERIK: Ha ha ha. Dave LaMorte: science fiction movie quality warehouse size room with hundreds of gorillas in it, is what I saw. And you shut the door, you leave 'cause it's like, holy shit, you know? And then the or another room I went into, and it was just it was literally solid covered with with cockroaches and stuff. And I was like, and you you you you you close the door and you you retreat from that room. I'm not going back in there. the I went back later to find out there were five chimpanzees in this one room and there were these little aquariums with these exotic big Afr African roaches that they test nerve gas and stuff on. And the so That's but it it it did that to your brain. But what it did is it fixed us. Monday morning, our colonel took us over to admin, told the person to go down to the local junior college, enroll us in are you ready for this? it was accounting one one and the next semester one two. We went to s we went to early morning classes on Army time, the army paid for it because it made the brain start working. ERIK: yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I took accounting one on one and I was passing the tests and I didn't even know how or why. I just had ERIK: Yeah, that's funny. Dave LaMorte: it was just it was things were just adding up and and and I I I thought I'd failed the test, you know, the finals every time. But I was actually I was actually getting really good grades in it. And it forces the brain to start working and as that happens, your your your synapses and neurons reconnect to lost places, the places that you ERIK: Mm. Dave LaMorte: where the connections were fried and built new ones. And that was one of my other problems at the agency is I had trouble explaining. When I'd plan an operation, people would just look at me like I was retarded and and and I'd get in my way, we'd do it that way, and everything would just come together. I call it global thinking. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: A lot of most people think in a linear fashion. they when they look at things it's A B A B C D ERIK: Yep. A to B. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: E. And We had gotten to the place where it was A B C and we go, Yeah, yeah, yeah, XYZ and and and we don't even know how it worked. And that has stayed with me the rest of my life. I'm I'm constant I'm con ERIK: Yeah, it's called Blink. Dave LaMorte: well, I have read books and books and books on this stuff. How much you know how how people think and make decisions and how little information ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: you need to make a conclusion. because you you it is it is a curse. ERIK: Yep. Yeah, but we're cursed with that, Dave, because other people don't like that. Dave LaMorte: It is a curse. Yes, ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: they don't like it and they don't like the explanations you give. I spent more time backwards figuring out how I got to Z than I spent getting to Z. And and then ERIK: Yeah, correct. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: explaining to the people who after a while you really get tired of it. Because you you're like you you you you're thinking like these people are the idiots. They're not idiots, they're just nor they're normal. And you're a smart. And they always assume you're a smart ass. And then when you have ERIK: And they they're they're thinking you're a smart ass. And you're like, No, I've already got it figured out. Yeah, it's like Dave LaMorte: like a really good track record in the field. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: Then they really have a problem with that, So ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: so that that's how I got interested in. I've read tons of books on it. I was thoroughly intrigued with the what I'd read about ayahuasca and I'd read about of course brain plasticity was something they're starting to understand. Modern brain scans are coming along, they're starting to understand this. And I had also then had emotional emotional issues. I had been married a couple times. That didn't work out. the and I was in a really low place. And ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I was going like I I couldn't I had I had I had pursued Reiki, the energy healing stuff, ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: but I was completely offline. I couldn't do any energy work, I couldn't I was I was just all over the place. I was not centered. So I went into the ayahuasca with the idea of getting recentered. And seeing where where that take where that takes me. And my first retreat, those first three nights that your journey were like a revelation to me. So while people around me are screaming and hollering and dealing with all their past problems and stuff, I was just plowing through reality in a way where I see ever I see everything differently now. And and it enhanced that ERIK: Mm-hmm. yeah. Dave LaMorte: and and of course I got centered up, the energy started working again in in a big way. I I I would do demonstrations for people. I I was taking some yoga classes and the yoga instructor you go through yoga, modern yoga, they all get everybody to do that energy ball exercise, you know, where feel the energy between your hands ERIK: yeah. Yep. Dave LaMorte: and they're doing that and I'm I'm and I'm holding my hands like way far apart. It says, No, you gotta get close and I'm going, No, no, this is like like this is major. ERIK: I can't. Dave LaMorte: And and so they the the instructor was like I said, Do you want me to show you? And I I there was and of course in yoga classes, most of the people there are women. I get this woman to sit down and I said, Just sit down, cross your legs, just put your hands out in front of you, like this, right? And I put my hands in front of her and and I says, C can you feel that? She says, Yeah. I says, Now close your eyes and I'm I'm pushing on her hands and she she says, Yeah, I could feel I could feel the push and I said, Just s you know, say just just say say Nod your head when you when you feel it. And whenever I put my hands up to her, she'd nod her head. And then I put my hands around, because her eyes are closed right now, behind her hands, and I start going the other way. And she says, that's weird. She says, It feels like it's on the back of my hands now. And the yoga instructor now is like a wide open eyes. The whole class is sitting around watching. And I and and then I then I move my hands out. I start putting them on the sides of her face. She says, She says, I don't feel it in my hands, but My face is just getting hotter and hotter and hotter and everybody's freaking. And and then I made a mistake. I didn't realize I was what I did then is then I I went down her shoulders and down her sides and all like that. And it got she got real like really weird. She she started squirming and stuff. I said, I'm sorry, my bad. ERIK: I'll bet. Exactly. Dave LaMorte: My bad. I know And and and so i i i it gets really big. It's it's it's real and people have doubts. ERIK: yeah. Dave LaMorte: When I do Reiki on people, when I do energy work on people now, if they've got an extra thirty minutes, I sit down and and get them to feel that energy ball. I talk through it. And then I say ERIK: Uh-huh. Dave LaMorte: I said, you need to do this. And I found this is this is there's there's an extra an extra bonus to this. I just get this. I says, if you do this every night, I says it's n you're not just doing this energy thing, it's not just a trick. While you're doing it, you're realigning all the energies in your own body. ERIK: Yeah, no, it makes total sense to me. Dave LaMorte: Add that. Add stuff. And I do that before I meditate every day. I I I do that. It helps ERIK: smart. Dave LaMorte: it get it gets things it gets things in in alignment. And I says and they're basically healing themselves at that point. and then again, more reading, more research. Rakhi doesn't heal anything. Energy work doesn't heal anything. It gives temporary relief. But if the person thinks it's healing them, they heal themselves. ERIK: Yeah, they heal themselves. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: So you've you've tricked their brain into healing themselves. And and ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: the other thing is a lot of people I've worked with, they said, I tried meditation but you know, five minutes and I'm squirming and this and that. Well, if they do that, if you start doing that and you do that, you slip into meditation without knowing it. So I have tricked a lot of people and they now meditate regularly because and they always start off that way. And but they they can meditate for long periods of time. And and and ERIK: Yeah, it's a good trick. Dave LaMorte: so I've I've fooled people into meditating and then things just keep getting better for them in in that regard. And I ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I I just kept I kept on with it. And and ayahuasca along with psilocybin and peyote, which I don't address. I've never I've never never used any peyote because the natives of Askis to not do that because people have been decimating the supplies of peyote out in the desert like harvesting it wrong. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: So they have asked that we not do it. I respect that personally. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: and and and the experience is not unlike ayahuasca, so why bother? Why worry about it? ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I discover I've discovered other other things in that regard, with intention, because and that's as you know from from the ayahuasca, everything's about your intention. W what am I intending to do now? The intention works with everything. You do psilocybin with intention ERIK: Correct. Dave LaMorte: it's not unlike using the the ayahuasca. it in in again, like I say with ketamine, not the clinical way they do it. You have your intention and all that. And also you don't do those little short clinical ketamine things. ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: You the first time I did ketamine it was a five hour trip. The guy just loaded me up. And and ERIK: wow. Yeah, no kidding. Dave LaMorte: and because 'cause I've been doing the ayahuasca and stuff, I don't have the the childhood trauma stuff is long gone. The y any of that ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: internal conflict stuff is long gone. Now I'm so the first time I do de ketamine, this guy's got me in one room and then somebody else in another. And both of us taking f five hour trips. And he's ERIK: Wow. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: over checking on the other guy. He comes back in and I'm sliding around there's there's it was a hard wood floor. I'm sliding around in my socks doing the energy ball thing, just sending love and healing out to everybody and and I'm going like, This is free, take it. And I'm just sending it out to the ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: world. And he said he was he he afterwards he goes like he says, I hope you don't mind I videoed you. He says, I'll I'll delete it if you want. He says, I've never seen anybody do that. He says, most people can't walk. He says, you're ERIK: Hmm. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: sliding around and dancing and and and doing this. And he says, no wailing, no conflict, no nothing that you're resolving, just You're just doing it. was a it was amazingly wonderful experience. And so what I found is that almost any of that stuff, I I can now do like a three milligram, which is like a third of a dose gummy, ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: right? And I can get into that zone. 'Cause ERIK: I I understand you totally. Dave LaMorte: once it it i it it's like learning to shoot. That the more you do it, the more your brain syncs up with everything that needs to do to do it. Your brain sinks up. I so a three milligram ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: gummy, I can literally cross over to the other side. ERIK: Yeah. No, I I'm with you there too because we've dumped everything. we're we're past the the really ugly work and the purging. Dave LaMorte: We're we're past the ugly work, but we're also trained our brain to go there. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And and just just two days ago, my first opportunity to go under anesthesia, I went under anesthesia with intent. ERIK: Yeah, no shit. Good idea. Dave LaMorte: And and I was and for at I was and for hours and hours after they finally let me out of the hospital, hours and hours, I could look at something, close my eyes, and I could see those Aztec type patterns around stuff. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And I was entering into that zone from the anesthesia. ERIK: Yeah, that makes sense. I haven't even thought of that. Dave LaMorte: Yeah, it's it it it all works. It all works in your favor. And it once you train yourself to do it. And and the the the hardest part of training, relax. I just let go of stuff. I've gotten good ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: at that. I'm really good at just letting go of stuff. I I could literally ERIK: Well, we're a types, you know. Dave LaMorte: I I can literally I when I was younger this would be unimaginable, but I literally could could do the Indian guru I could go up here on on the on one of these big rocks. You gotta see my property, dude. I got these giant boulders up running up this ravine. They actually it's it's it's not Sedona, but they're energy, you know, there's energy th in these things. I've seen I've seen shaman sit on and start crying and stuff. They said, Dell, this is beautiful, it's wonderful, you know, the energy here. But I I literally I could sit on one of those rocks all day long and not be bored. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And that's saying a lot for someone who's who's got a ERIK: yeah. Dave LaMorte: I was famous for having a short attention. I have AD I I I had ADD and and so sitting around is wasn't a strong suit. And I could never have been a sniper when I was younger because I don't have the patience to sit for three days wait for the target. Exact ERIK: Yeah, you gotta you gotta learn to lay there in that hide sight, yeah. Dave LaMorte: I can do that now. I c I I could just sit there and just keep my eyes open and slip into a meditative state and still be aware of what's going on in front of me. ERIK: Yeah, it's nice learning how to do that. Dave LaMorte: It it's it's it's amazing. I I really think it's an ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: avenue that the world should should be introduced to, both f in the military ERIK: Well Dave LaMorte: in the military, but I think I think I think primary education should be one through ten and then on that following summer before you get your eleventh and twelfth grade, we sh we should run these kids through a camp where they do this. And we would be turning out the brightest brightest, smartest least likely to promote stupid wars and stuff like that generation that's ever been seen. ERIK: Yeah. Well the only time in the military I ever got any instruction on that was at sniper school. Dave LaMorte: Okay. ERIK: And they didn't use the word meditation. 'Cause they knew we would all poo poo it. So they put it into some other context and all it was years later I'm like, Hey, that's fucking meditation. We would do that all the time, to bring your heart rate down to make the shot and everything and Dave LaMorte: Exactly. Exactly. Now odd oddly enough, I I couldn't I don't think I'd have gotten through the training, but when it comes to doing it, 'cause when I when I ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: hunted, I can think of times when I literally stood stock still for three hours waiting for a deer to just keep slowly wandering up in my direction. To take that shot. ERIK: Yes, different though, yeah. Dave LaMorte: And so it's like it's it's it's like it's in it's in us, it's in all of us. But you have to be you have to gain once you gain an understanding of of what's going on, it's easier. I think everybody's ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: capable of that. ERIK: Well, Dave, that's where we have to translate that for those people, you did for me years ago. That's why all the vets and Leos and first responders and anybody needs this stuff. Yeah. we'll get to that soon. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: You are hard not you are hard not to crack. ERIK: Yeah, we'll get to that next probably. That'll be some good humor, but yeah, that's Dave LaMorte: That's okay. No, it's it's good. ERIK: Yeah, let's do that. My first exposure, my first retreat, I hadn't even smoked pot in my entire life. I still haven't. drank a little bit. But we talked about it for quite a while and you're like, that's ayahuasca, this that and I'm like, Dave LaMorte: Yeah. Yeah. ERIK: What in the fuck is that? And Yeah. And Dave LaMorte: yeah, I remember when you came up with Pete, right, yeah. Yeah. ERIK: then somehow You got me up there and and we went through that retreat and that was three or four or five days? I don't remember. Dave LaMorte: It was a f it was the longest that that shaman had ever done. It was five days and he doesn't like mil he ERIK: Five days, yeah. Dave LaMorte: doesn't like military people, so it was also ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: pretty much an all military group. It was ninety percent military. ERIK: Yep. Well it was all of us with the backgrounds that w you want everybody else to be like. Dave LaMorte: Right. Yeah. Well, they're mostly special operations people or agency people. Yeah. ERIK: Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's the only reason I went. just in case, you know. But yeah, I I didn't have fear of doing it. I did all five nights, dude. I was selfish. Dave LaMorte: Yes you did. You did, you did, Jeremiah and my son did. I put that on for him. That w that was the point ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, I yeah. you d that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well Dave LaMorte: where he broke free from his five tours of Afghanistan and Iraq. 'Cause he they were all ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: outside the wire. He was still bound up by that stuff and that's where he that was the that was where that broke that dam broke. ERIK: Yeah, I I never needed my anxiety medicine after the first trip. And and Dave LaMorte: Really? I didn't know that. That's good. ERIK: previously I I I was a wreck, Dave. I was a wreck. And you know, at wit's end pretty much. So Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: I I can testify how how efficient that is in in the purging of whatever you purge. You know, it's past traumas, injuries, blah, blah, blah. You know, it's just every night was a different purge. I don't think I had any pleasant nights like you were describing. mine, mine. Dave LaMorte: I don't was like you for a dish. No, you didn't. You were actually you were very miserable and and it it showed that you were miserable because I don't know I haven't seen you in a while, but back then when you were miserable you you would get a little testy. ERIK: Yeah, yeah. I was yeah, a little. Yeah. No, it's people don't Dave LaMorte: That's okay. ERIK: recognize me now. They're like, Where's the where's the asshole, Eric? I'm like, I don't know. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: duh, I I I've I've I've been through that. And I go to an S F union or something and run into somebody I haven't seen in a long time, they're like, Who are you? You look a lot like this guy I used to know. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he was a dick. Yeah, no, I I get that all the time, but but each night had so much work I had to do. It was exhausting. Dave LaMorte: Right? ERIK: You know, and it it you know, each one's hours and hours. The first one we did in the desert, that was pretty cool. I guess that was in case one of us died, you could just put us in a ditch, you know. Dave LaMorte: Well no, actually I'd planned on all the nights there. The shaman didn't want to make that twenty five minute drive. ERIK: I would have done that every night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: That was a beautiful location. In fact, Robbie, you remember Robbie, I'm sure. Robbie and I went out there like three days ahead of time and we raked all the rocks out of that area. You notice there's a little stack of rocks in the middle, you know. We'd we'd built ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: that. I did that just for for for for giggles. But ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: and and if you go there now, that's still a cleared rockless area. That ERIK: Nice. Yeah, that was that was a good one. but I did like having a bathroom near later on on some of the other evenings Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: because my purges went one eighty. So I I did one of in your second floor. Dave LaMorte: Well, it's the beauty of the it's the beauty of the desert though. The b desert is one big ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: giant bathroom. ERIK: Well, I know, but it's at the moment you're not usually in in all your faculties working well. but I Dave LaMorte: If I did that again I'd take some sort of stool. ERIK: Yeah, touche. Yeah, we we could do the camping idea. But I would have v bouts of spasms. I would have hot, cold, tin blankets on me, and them like take all these fucking blankets off of me Dave LaMorte: Like it's always like it's okay. ERIK: and it just no rhyme or reason, man, but it was so clarifying and the imaging is just you can't describe it. That's the pisser of it. You know, the geometric Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: and the shapes and the colors and and I looked over Dave LaMorte: At least you weren't screaming. I I've I've I've I've done these. The first one I went to, ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: the guy sitting next to me was a screamer. And I literally would be ERIK: Yeah, I don't yeah, I don't like that either, but Dave LaMorte: gone on completely under and I would sit straight up, just to sit up all of a sudden. I go, Somebody shoot this guy. And it's like ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't know if it's theatrics or what it is, but I've I've seen that on other the crying and the screaming and and then you see the the fax machine Dave LaMorte: Then you see a cheap. ERIK: and then you're like, I really don't know what's going on in this world. When you get it you see a data download, you're like, Dave LaMorte: Right. Right. ERIK: my lord, that's I want that on camera. Dave LaMorte: I could I I I I could tell you about some data downloads. It was I've had some crazy ERIK: I'll bet. Dave LaMorte: ones. In fact the first time that's the first time Randy was here, I think. I was the the last night 'cause I was helping run it, but the last night I went ahead and drank a full portion and let myself go, right? 'Cause ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: that the rest was being everything was being taken care of. And a couple of people holding space now knew what to do. So I let myself go ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: ahead and and and treated myself to a journey and I'm laying on this mat and it's it's it's it's like the beginning of Star Wars this thing scrolls you know the ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: the words so with scrolling though are these characters that I don't recognize. They're just characters. It's coming by, ERIK: yeah, I've seen that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: it's coming by. And I have learned that when something happens, ask. You you you you you go like what does this mean? Or what is this about? ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: Explain this to me and you can get clarification. You just have to have see the more you do it, the more you get used to being able to communicate while you're there and you ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: and you can ask. So this this thing is scrolling. I'm going like, Really? What what what language is this? I said, What is this? Does this come with a primer? You know? Does this 'cause I don't get this. I said, Could you scroll this in English, please? Could you scroll this in something I can read? And I says, Or could you just give me the audible download? It's like ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: and And and it was like and then this this little voice is goes like I s I I could you just directly pump this in there and they were like, Do you do you do you want it direct? I said, Yeah. And it was like I want like and they were like it was literally it's like I was aware, it says this could be shocking. I want just dump it, just give it to me. And dude it was like it was like you hooked me up to a car battery. Like you were torturing me. It was I was just on the floor shaking and rattling around and stuff like this and giggling. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And then it stopped. It just stopped all at once. And and and and and in my mind, was this enough? I want is there more? Lay it on me. And I and I went ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: right back into the thing and I was like and I was laughing the whole time and everybody thought I was having some sort of seizure. I wasn't. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I was getting a download. I spent months and months and months untangling that download. ERIK: What'd you get from it? Dave LaMorte: I I it there's there's nothing that I can actually say. I've become I became more ERIK: That's the problem, yeah. Dave LaMorte: no, no, I'm more and more aware of what's there. I'm aware of what's happening. I'm I'm more aware after that I was ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: more aware of what things mean and what what connections there are and things like that. And of course I paired that ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, that's a hard Dave LaMorte: I paired that up with a lot of s side trips. So I I I don't know if you've ever heard of the Newton Institute. He's the guy who ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: really codified You use the hypnosis to take a person back to childhood and if they can't find the problem, they can take you to your prior life and past regressions, yeah. And ERIK: past regression. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: they don't only do past life, but he's doing these and codifying and writing, you know, really researching this. The guy's legit. Or he was legit, he's he's past. And somebody said he was taking somebody back to their prior life and it and they said, I want to can we stop here? He says, Where? She says, we're we're between life. We're stop we're right here between lives. And then you start exploring a between life, which and ni when you go into the between life, it's just like a near death experience. You go through the whole thing. You do the tunnel, you do the you meet your guide, you meet your ERIK: Really? Dave LaMorte: yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Newton Newton Institute. ERIK: wow. So you're controlling your yeah. Dave LaMorte: But they they're guiding you because you don't need the hallucinogenics to get there. They just basically they through hypnosis ERIK: No. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: they you can unlock that cage yourself. And and ERIK: Correct. Dave LaMorte: To the between life place. So I actually paid to do a pass because I I never understood why I could do certain things. when I was eight years old, someone handed me in 1911. And I bang, bang, bang, bang, knock down seven cans. About twenty, twenty one feet. And and then they they ERIK: Yeah, I've seen that too. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: were like they start pulling out money and making bets. Then they hand me an M1 carbine, bang, bang, bang, bang, fifteen more cans, just like that. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: Everything you handed me, hand me in a literally a a real sixteen. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: It's it's like I was born with these things. And everything was that way. EOD school. It wasn't like I was learning. It was like I was remembering. Which is what they teach you. ERIK: Yeah, I've Dave LaMorte: The more you study this, you're you're actually remembering a of stuff. And and everything was that way. The operational stuff was that way. Everything I did operationally, or or you go to a school to learn to do stuff, it was remembering more than learning. And and so I went back ERIK: I I feel the same way, Dave. Dave LaMorte: and so I did the I did the past life. that they explained a lot of nuance to how I ran things during dur when I was in the military and in in the agency. I was adamant. If somebody got between me and my people, I would I always tried to keep a low key, right? If you got between me and my people, especially during operation, I I would turn into George Patton's little brother, ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: right? And it explained that. In in in in World War Two I lost all my people. And by the way, you when you go back and now you're getting into the weird place where everything is now, right? Every all time is simultaneously and that's been demonstrated for me. ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: I can talk about it, but I can't really wrap my head around it. And and so I didn't go back there and observe this. I went back there and we experienced it, you know? And ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: I got killed too. And the and and then the then I realized that the triggers Get between me and our my logistics, get between me and my people, get between me and my operations, I would just literally change a personality. It turned out I'd lost all my people once and that wasn't gonna happen again. Period. And and and I'm ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: like, I I get this and and and I and I'd been in apparently a few wars. So that's that's really actually but that's mostly what I did. ERIK: Yeah, but Dave, I think that's why, the warrior healer thing is quite common, I think, 'cause I feel the same thing. Dave LaMorte: I I feel I feel that I've been blessed and that I'm allowed to get beyond that and be a healer now. ERIK: Correct. Yeah, but you have to do one to do the other. And and I've I've seen that. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: to to truly understand it. Yep. Yep. ERIK: Yeah, and that's that's but like half the courses I went to I got honor grad and I'm like, What's going on here? But it's like you're you're not being taught something. You're just being tested on it. You already have the knowledge, you know, or you have that frequency Dave LaMorte: Make so much. Right. Right. ERIK: open to to catch the data as you need it. And then when you're on ops, you see shit way before other people do. Dave LaMorte: Yeah. Right. ERIK: Yeah, you c you can just no, we're not going there. Uhuh. Let's go this way. Dave LaMorte: Well my my ERIK: that there's an ambush down there. Dave LaMorte: I knew something was going on because in my team the the people have been on the team longer would coach the newer people which is because if they didn't do it naturally, I explained to them that's what they're supposed to do. But the the older folks on the team and say, Hey if he says go left, go left. If she says go right, go right, he says, Don't ask why. Don't take the time to ask why. You can ask why later. But they just trusted ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: me because I was making calls all the time. I never made a I made a r never made a wrong turn. We'd we'd be tracking ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: people and we'd we have not have a solid hold on where they went or whatever and I would just go in the right direction every time. It's it's ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: it's amazing. And you and we all again, we all have that. It's just it's not ERIK: It's six cents, but it's more than that. Dave LaMorte: no, it's it's it's annoying. It's yeah, it's ERIK: Much more. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: it's it's just annoying. And and that happens for me a lot. and But and and again that was a family thing, Scott. You don't know my sister, but I don't know if Scott's told any stories about her, but she was born ERIK: No. Dave LaMorte: able to do this stuff. And she she could tell you when you're gonna die. ERIK: that's good and bad. Dave LaMorte: she wouldn't be off. Now she didn't like doing ERIK: Yeah. Wow. Dave LaMorte: it and after a while she stopped doing it because it it's destabilizing for peop most people to know when they're gonna die. Personally I don't ERIK: Mm-hmm. for sure. Dave LaMorte: and and but she's never she was never off by a day. She was always the day she say day. That it was and and and I don't know how all that works but she but the whole family, the whole the whole ERIK: Well she had that channel open. Sh yeah. Dave LaMorte: at the channel. She was born with that open though. And part of my problem is that 'cause she could read your mind. She gets she could get you in trouble for things you'd only thought about. And and ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: so I shut a lot of that off when I was younger and and the ayahuasca ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: apparently was operating and and or certain levels it was operating, but it didn't get turned back on until I willfully went there after again the first Iowax experiences and start widening that. And I look at it as a doorway. You go through the doorway, word takes you as depends on how far you want to go through the to on the other side. ERIK: That was my next point, Dave. It is a doorway. And then you have to do the work afterwards. If you just go and do it, yes, and passing it on. Dave LaMorte: It is it's it's over. The work and the research and the reading. Yep. There's a tons written about it. There's tons written about it. I have a bibliography I I hand out to people sometimes. Well, here's a list. You start here and keep reading. It gets deeper and deeper as you go. But if people really wanna wanna get into this zone, there's there there are plenty of books written. But they're written about this section or this section or this section. You just have to read. 'Cause some people spend all their time focusing on one element of things. ERIK: Yeah, no, no. That's I don't know if I sent you one or I guilted you into buying one, but that fire support book I did. Yeah, Dave LaMorte: Yeah, I have it. It's right here on my bookshelf. ERIK: it's it's the references a short snippet of each so you can get a splattering instead of reading two hundred books. Dave LaMorte: No, no, you've got a facility for doing that. I th actually actually I've th I've actually ERIK: Yeah. Well I've written part two. Dave LaMorte: thought I've actually thought about this because I was looking at that book and I'm thinking like, he trained himself to do this. You started out writing manuals on firearms. A, B, C, D, E, F. You you you you you ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, I've got sixty books, yeah. Dave LaMorte: you started you you you developed your own skills on how to explain stuff. You did that yourself. ERIK: Yeah. Well part part two's even gonna be better because now with that you can refer back so you're Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: educated on what I'm talking about on the how to. and that's I'm more excited about that book. It's it's it's done but it's not production ready, you know. Jason's been slacking. But Dave LaMorte: Yeah. ERIK: it but we we drill it down so they don't have to do the whole thing to learn it quickly. Dave LaMorte: Right. ERIK: Now, once they do, they'll probably broaden in and catch all the books we have read, you know, to get a deeper understanding. But you gotta get them to survive the day. Dave LaMorte: Yeah, yeah. ERIK: You know, when guys are that low, you don't wanna teach them the quantum angle of it. You gotta fix it day. You gotta get them through the night. And that's where, Dave LaMorte: Right. Yeah no, yeah. I gotcha. ERIK: you know, like your philosophy of how you're gonna you do your retreats. Typically no one's going there for entertainment purposes. Dave LaMorte: It's quite there for entertainment. we try to just we try to filter Celeste, you know Celeste. Well that's who I'm working with now. ERIK: Yeah, yeah, very much. Yep, perfect. Dave LaMorte: She has grown into an amazing shaman. And her ayahuasca is rocket fuel. And we've ERIK: Good. Great. wow. Dave LaMorte: made it and we've made it together. It's a three day process. And by the way, ERIK: I believe it. Dave LaMorte: you're you're imbibing little bits all the time while you're doing it. So it's it's very weird. It's a ERIK: Ho ho ho ho. Dave LaMorte: very weird experience just making it. So ERIK: jeez. Dave LaMorte: it's three days in in Wonder I I I think it's it's three days in Confusion Land. 'cause you ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: you and and you don't get past at the beginning. At the beginning with the eye at least for a lot of people, and it is that way with me, you get all the all the crazy Aztec looking artwork. ERIK: Yep. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: patterns and stuff like this before you really drop all the way in. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And 'cause you're making the stuff, you you have to check it every twenty minutes that it's not boiling over and stuff like this on the stove. Three giant ERIK: Burning it and boiling over, yeah. Dave LaMorte: pots of it going on the stove and and we're basically sleeping in the kitchen. She brings a she brings ERIK: And you're inhaling it. Dave LaMorte: we're inhaling it, we're drinking it. We're and but every twenty minutes somebody has to have their eyes open to make sure it's not boiling over. So you never get past that entry point. So it's it's three days of weirdness. ERIK: Wow, that would be and you cannot translate the Yeah, Dave LaMorte: It's actually hard work. ERIK: but you can't translate what you're seeing and feeling. If Dave LaMorte: No. ERIK: you could it would be gold. But I can imagine it right now. I can go back and see that stuff and people Dave LaMorte: Yeah. ERIK: would not believe you and I could not describe it well enough to give it justice. Well e explain your retreat concept and your property and and it I know what you're trying to do. I just want to make sure I'm caught up on it. Dave LaMorte: Well, the the re the retreats are are mixed bag. I get people to donate. I I have come to discover I can't incorporate and I can't open a five one C three 'cause if one person comes here I th this is an old house, it's a hundred year old house. And I've got people staying in a converted outbuilding that I can bunk up to ten people in. And you gotta walk over to the house to use the bathroom. It's a hundred year old door that won't handle a serious wheelchair. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I can't I can't. I'm not ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I would like to be, but I don't have the financial wherewithal to you'd literally have to tear this house apart to make it handicap friendly. ERIK: Yeah. A D A, yeah. Dave LaMorte: And so so what we do it we do it underneath her. She she recruits a bunch of people. When she schedules one, we only do we only do two to f two to four a year. normally we fall into the three zone. And but when she does one then I put feelers out, I have people donating some money, so I I do scholarships for veterans. ERIK: Hm, smart. Dave LaMorte: And that way I'm not liable for bathrooms and stuff like that. ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: I know that sounds kinda chicken shit, but I just don't have the word all the to t ERIK: Deal with it. Dave LaMorte: to yeah, to to to modify everything. and and I've had a guy up and talk about what it take to put in handicap ramps into the bunk room and all that, but there's still the house is not suitable for modification. It's not like a y you literally have to rip the front wall off. But the but we get but but ERIK: Yeah, but that's not the important part, Dave. Help helpin' em's the important part. Dave LaMorte: but we get we get folks here and then so the philosophy is is the first thing and and I've by the way I've had a crash education in dealing with the dark side of things. we've actually ended up doing a few exorcisms up here. couple of are the noisy kind, and I could tell you I don't know if you remember from from that the first retreat w you went to, that last night with all the booming and stuff like this. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: Yeah, yeah. That person has actually two demons in him. And when ERIK: great. Dave LaMorte: and the and and ayahuasca will discombobulate them and if it looks like they might lose their hold, they lash out in ERIK: Uh-huh. Dave LaMorte: a very big way. I have seen this person again and I've actually seen the demons show up, watch him watch his entire body and face change as his ch with ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: them. It's it's like out of it's like out of a bad movie. so I've been getting unscheduled hands on OJ T in dealing with that ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: kind of stuff, which has actually taken me in a in in in a d a very good direction. And I have a I have a pretty good handle on that now. so w the so the number one thing when we do a retreat is we make sure it's safe. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: Nothing dark can get on this hill. Nothing dark can ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: get on this property. Nothing dark can get into this house or down into the what we refer I have a I have a big pavilion outside, like thirty by thirty, it's got a fireplace in it and stuff like this. It's a real nice place, by the way, to to to journey outside when the weather's good. And the We j we just make sure first of all that everything is safe. There is there's no threats from anything goofy. And anything ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: that has happened, we we it it the first time I saw it, I I even I shook my head going like whoa, what was that? You actually see something brown lift off a person and hightail out of here. ERIK: Yep, I've seen that. Dave LaMorte: And they they they they're barking, they're they're just like they got it pinned to the wall, you have to drive it outside, then they want out. I've seen my dogs chase run down the driveway after some stuff. Yep. ERIK: Yeah. My dog did that one day. I was like, hell. Dave LaMorte: yeah, they they know, they see. a couple people refer to Asia, my black dog. She you know, she's she's a demon hunter. She does not put up with she does not put up with that stuff. But so We make sure everything is safe. And that's part of our opening ceremony. When you're when you're brewing it, but also when when when you're doing it. The ceremony is important because that's what safeguards people. Otherwise people are left open. All right. That person who that ERIK: Correct. Yep. Yeah, you you can absorb Dave LaMorte: that person 'cause we're not going to s say you know, we feel named, but that person who was doing causing all that booming and things that come off the walls and all there. in in in Nevada, ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: he probably acquired those while he was doing r random giddy up recreational ayahuasca. So I do not I do not ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, that's why it's gotta be done correctly. Dave LaMorte: recommend recreational use of any of that stuff. 'Cause it opens it open it ERIK: No, no, you can't do it. Dave LaMorte: opens you up to being used. And that's what you are. You're just you're just gonna get used. And that and that's that's it's no more than that. And and then and they can stay with you. So we make sure every everything's safe in that regard in the spirit spiritual sense. we actually we we we we've had we've had a like we've had people show up here and they've got something literally that you would have to say, Okay, that was not just a random attachment. That was a demon and and when we've just about got it out of we I I have found that all I have to do is ask Michael or Gabriel to come take this thing where it needs to go. And it's over. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: It's not like a movie. It doesn't go on and on and on. If ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: you ask the right if you ask the right entities, it's over. It's done. And there's a hierarchy of within within that realm of of folks who can do that. It it's and so there's absolutely no worries and all because it's been shown to me that that we're covered. So that that's the number one thing. The other thing is that when we first start doing it was strictly especially that the shaman who presided when you did it the first time, he was all hands off. let roll around, let deal with it. They gotta deal with it, they gotta deal with it. No, you can you can come in and do energy work with a person while they're in there. You can help ERIK: Yes. Yes. Dave LaMorte: them, you can support them, you you can you can you can give supportive energy, you can talk to you can help through things. And and by the way, helping through doesn't mean like make it go away. helping through if ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: if someone's dealing some some trauma and especially people have PTSD, most PTSD is actually built on childhood trauma. It's ERIK: Yes, sir. Dave LaMorte: a layering. It's people who had childhood trauma are the ones who are going to actually portray what we call PTSD. That's what I've discovered. And I actually found someone sent me a paper who used to work at Walter Reed that they found the same thing in the long run. The people who suffer ERIK: No, wow. Dave LaMorte: PTSD the worst were people who had significant childhood trauma. Yeah, yeah. So s but but but I mean ERIK: no, there's a lot of studies on that, Dave. Yeah. No, no, it's it's well documented. Dave LaMorte: discovered it kinda like discovered and then s and then somebody sends me a paper on I go like, okay. It's nice ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: it's nice to get a validation that you're on the right track. And ERIK: Correct. Yes. Dave LaMorte: so we're we're we're standing by to help And sometimes helping means They're dealing with childhood trauma. I I literally I I I talk through it. I I said, don't because we've had people sit up. They don't want to face something. They sit up and they're out. They're sober. They're they're done for the night, at least. And and and and I encourage people, I said, when you when you get to that spot and you gotta lean into it, you gotta lean into it, you gotta wrap your arms around so it doesn't get away, you gotta understand what happened, you gotta learn what it did for you. Every every trauma is an opportunity to get stronger. Everything. ERIK: True. Dave LaMorte: And they lean into it, learn the lesson from it, now tell it to piss off. ERIK: Yeah. It you're done with it. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And by the way, kind language doesn't make it the the only way to deal with that stuff is to just be d just be s adamant. Piss off. Take take take that silly shit down the road. Go away. I'm done with you. I'm not dealing with this anymore. I I I am finished with you and I encourage them to do that. And I you talk people through things. And I have to be honest, sometimes there I went through a period where I where well it's like their first retreat you went to, at the end of it. I kinda had a little guilt thing going on because I got so much out of that. I gained so much. I learned so much when you guys were there. That crowd was there. I learned so much. Right. Well, ERIK: Well, integration. Dave LaMorte: during integration, but also during the while it was happening, I learned so much. I I kinda felt a little guilty. It's like I mean and the whole idea was to help people. The idea wasn't for me to 'cause I I I felt so good afterwards. I felt a little guilty. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, well get over that 'cause that's that's a the the benny of doing it. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I did. I have gotten over that. It's it's yeah. So so 'cause I know I'm not doing it for me, but it it's it's it's like I don't want anybody else to think I'm doing it for f you know, once I realize how I was helping people, and how good I felt about it. but I tell you what, it does it does make you wanna not not stop helping people. That gets addictive. You know? Yeah, I'm seeing results. Yep. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah it is. Well you see the results and you see how they've transformed and or didn't. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And you just want to help people. Right. And and help helping people is it's the next step after what we did initially, We've always been about service. We've always ERIK: Exactly. Well we've always been about service, Dave LaMorte: been about service. I've I've told people peop people have tried to take me to task for what I used to do for a living. And I go like I said I said, I don't think you got this right. I s you know, for For forty two years I carried the shit bucket out for God every morning, buddy. And I said, So I don't want to hear it from you. I'm not dancing ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: with the devil. I'm going nose to nose to the devil. Screw him. He in fact he's got nothing ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: over me. He's got nothing over me. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I could deal with he he's he's got no pull here. ERIK: That's a petty argument on their part, so yeah. Dave LaMorte: It it is. They don't understand, but sometimes I I I like to talk more direct to people who are trying to accuse you of I've ha I've I've ERIK: of course. Dave LaMorte: had I've had people just get completely sidetracked. I did ayahuasca once. It comes up in the conversation. Next thing you know you're in a prayer meeting and they're praying over you. That the devil doesn't is not gonna consume you and I'm like, You've got this completely wrong. Could we just go back to what we were talking you know, could we go back to the the the reasons we had this meeting to start with, you know? kinda get a grip on yourself. You're don't lay your don't lay your silly stuff on me. But now now it's less like, okay, whatever. It's like you don't get it, you're not eventually you'll get it or you won't. And I'm that way about a lot of stuff. ERIK: Yeah. No. Yeah we are. We we've come to that conclusion. you've helped me for that for sure, but Dave LaMorte: Yeah. S some people are gonna wake up and some are not. And I'm not going to ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: feel bad about for those who refuse to see the light. ERIK: Well it's it's not their turn sometimes. they Dave LaMorte: I I don't ever give on h give up hope that people will get it. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: You know. ERIK: Yeah. Well and it takes time. they're they're learning on their own pace, but their pace on this trip might not be quick enough for So what would you say to somebody that like well like how I was. I I was a shit show, Dave, and I don't know how you got me to do that. Dave LaMorte: You you you were well, you got you to do that. I'm ERIK: Well yeah, touche, but Dave LaMorte: and for whatever reason I don't know, 'cause this is how synchronicity works. But for whatever reason that I'll I'll never understand, synchronicity had me mention that to you. ERIK: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: You did the rest. You decided that you wanted to go there. And and that's what I say. People go like, I I meet people. I know this person. They ought to do this. I says, Well, mention it to If they get curious about it, they get thinking about it, they do a little research, or even just look online, and there's some real misleading stuff on YouTube and stuff, but they look online ERIK: Yeah, yeah. yeah. Dave LaMorte: and get curious enough that they want to do that. I'm not sure why I'm here. But I I I I feel I need to be here. You're exactly on the mark, you're going to find out. I tell you're gonna find out before this weekend is over, before this retreat is over, you're going to know why you came here. And they do. They ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: do. They walk away going like this is I get it now. It's it's like and whatever it was, whatever little thing got them just a lot of times, something's it's it's it's you're looking at the comet, they always go like, Well, we should we blow up a nuke here, two million miles away from Earth. it will deviate enough to miss the earth, right? You just need that little nudge to put them on the trajectory ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Dave LaMorte: to get them where they need to go. So whatever trajectory they show up here though not knowing exactly what what they're expecting to get out of this. But it always surfaces. It always surfaces. It it's ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: and and and and they it's like deep, deep down inside it's some layer of themselves, they knew they need they needed why they needed to come here. And it gets revealed to And I is beautiful for that. ERIK: Yeah, for sure. Dave LaMorte: if I only tasted good but ERIK: God, I can taste it right now. Dave LaMorte: That is the it is well, it turns out that is the worst part. But it but it you know, but it but the like I say, I I I encourage it's it's it's like skydiving. People go like, you know, this nice you know, you can't talk if you haven't done it once. Try it. Try it once and then you can make ERIK: Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: an informed decision. Take the scuba diving ERIK: Correct. Dave LaMorte: lessons, get your certification. If you don't want ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: to scuba dive anymore, you don't scuba dive, but you don't know until you unless you dip your toe in the water. And and everything's that way. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, it's ignorant otherwise. Dave LaMorte: I is like that. If you never do it again you don't. But you know what I love? I love the people who come back. Because they come back they ERIK: yeah. Well they know. Dave LaMorte: come back on a mission. ERIK: Prepared, yes. Dave LaMorte: And and and and whatever it is, they're going to conquer it on the second trip. You get woke up to stuff, but ERIK: Yeah. Got it. Dave LaMorte: you don't always conquer it on your first trip. The second ERIK: No. Dave LaMorte: trip, I've never seen anybody after a second retreat that didn't have a firm grip on what the issue ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: was and that fact that it's over. They're done with it. And yeah. ERIK: Yeah, I totally believe that. I've seen that too. Yeah, well you're over the fear. Now you're like, okay, this isn't Dave LaMorte: Okay, this is a ERIK: a mystery. Now I can do some work. Dave LaMorte: Yeah. And you know, I personally part of me doesn't get the fear. I was somehow you know no, I'm I'm saying I I'm I'm I'm I'm just admitting that I have a hard time wrapping my head ERIK: What some people they do that, Dave, but we've we've done shit all of our lives, you know. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: around fear in general. People go like that doesn't scare you. I go ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: like, Yeah, no. But you know, I was a working bomb tech at nineteen. I the first ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: time you walk up on IED, you let go of you you if you she do you recall seeing the movie The Abyss? ERIK: Uh-huh. Dave LaMorte: When he's gonna go down there and disarm he he walks up ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: to the edge of the cliff and he stops there. First time I saw that movie, I couldn't breathe. At that point I stopped 'cause it went like that's what it feels like. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: And then when you step off, that's your first IED. And after ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: that you start learning to just not have a fear thing. What's the worst gonna happen? I'm ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: going to disappear. I'm not going I'm gonna sober, you know. ERIK: Yeah, vaporize. Dave LaMorte: Yeah. And and even even even the other operational stuff, nobody wants to get shot, but you know, after you get hit the first time you don't feel nothing. You ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: always read about the guy who got shot and he still wiped out ten more machine gun nests or whatever and he didn't f he didn't feel that. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: Ouch and then and then and then something takes over. You just you're you're you're on some sort of autopilot and and you just don't feel it. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: So what's fear? You just fears th they're th they're they spend more ERIK: Self induced Dave LaMorte: time you get an operation or something like that. Even just this thing I this procedure I just went through. They're busy try trying to calm me down. I'm going like, I'm good. We're good. And it's just like, you know Yeah, ERIK: Let's get her done, yeah. Dave LaMorte: get get that get that catheter up there. I said I says and I'm assuming that if you see something you fix with a stint, you're gonna do it right now. He says, yeah. I said, okay. I says if it needs a valve, I says we'll make an appointment, we'll come in. I said, I'll hold my chest open for you. I said whatever. Get it done. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: it's it's then it it changes your view on everything. But but it so what but when people go like, I'm a I'm afraid of what could happen on I asked nothing bad. I said I said and I ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: I actually kinda feel bad for people who worry about stuff. ERIK: Yeah. Well, worry is self induced. Dave LaMorte: So Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. ERIK: Yeah, so Dave LaMorte: And and I would that's it's it's something else I wish we could just cure people of. ERIK: Well, baby steps up the mountain, Dave. Dave LaMorte: Yeah, I know. I know. I'm I'm just talking about the big it'd be nice if we could just ERIK: Yeah. Yeah, the big picture. Dave LaMorte: 'cause fear and greed are the things that destroy us. ERIK: Mm-hmm. No, we've seen that for a long time. Is there anything else you want to add in closing? Dave LaMorte: Yeah. Is there anything else you want to add, Loz? let's see. is there anything else on your list to talk about? ERIK: No, that's that's about it. we can always do another one once we later on you always think of other things you Dave LaMorte: Yeah, I I I I would I would add to this, ERIK: forgot. Dave LaMorte: folks watching your your podcast, this is this is what we're talking about here is an avenue that I would in I I would encourage everyone to explore. But ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: explore it in an environment where you've got guides that are experienced and are gonna keep you safe while you do it and support you while you're doing it. And and and and and ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: w afterwards when you do your integration, those same supportive people have to be there. It's it's so important for people to know that no matter what you think has been bad, other people have had worse, one, or two, if it's something you feel bad because you participated in something or whatever, it's that was all it's all behind you. You have to let the you have to let the stuff behind you go. You learn from it. ERIK: Yeah. Dave LaMorte: You keep you keep the lessons and then let go of the rest because it happens everything it's it's almost like there's a universal checklist. We're all gonna go through it. Everybody ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: goes through everything. Don't get embarrassed so don't get so embarrassed you don't pursue fixing it. Don't hide it. Don't hide it. ERIK: Yeah. Yeah that's Dave LaMorte: Don't hide it. Pursue fixing it. When you hide it, it's it ERIK: That's a good point. Dave LaMorte: just makes it linger forever. ERIK: Yeah, you're delaying the inevitable. There's no point. Dave LaMorte: Yeah that will Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, get her done. ERIK: Yeah, that's a good point. Well, thanks for your time, Dave, and I'm I'm glad you're healing up. Dave LaMorte: Thanks for your time, Dave. glad you're not healing up. I'll be I'll be I'll be fine in short very short order. I get I get this get these bandages off. it's then we we we start right back. It in the meantime the grass has grown up towards grotesque again. It's just I'm right back into mowing and then after the mowing I got a whole bunch of others lifted and moving. And right back. ERIK: No, that's your east coast life, you know. There's just rocks and dirt out here. Dave LaMorte: It's well that's what I'm doing with rock dirts and rocks and trees. But and then I get that I want I'm so eager about getting my range finished, so I bought a ton of steel. You gotta come out. You gotta come out, man. And the steel I bought is not normal steel. It's not normal steel. No, this the y ERIK: I will as soon as I can. Yeah, Randy was telling me. Swedish to get Swedish Dave LaMorte: it it's silhouettes or did they do the cutout thing with a plate behind it? The plate ERIK: Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: on either side, they have ground tuning forks into both sides of the plate. ERIK: shut up. Dave LaMorte: So when you shoot it, it rings. Are you ready for this? Healing frequency. You can go shooting and heal yourself. And and my life partner ERIK: I was gonna say that's the newest market, 'cause you could put it at four thirty two. That's funny. Dave LaMorte: slash girlfriend, flash bet f slash best friend, everything. She's she's into the tuning fork healing stuff too. And ERIK: Yeah, yeah. Dave LaMorte: she's the only person, since I've known Celeste, which has been a long time now, the only person who's ever been allowed to assist an ayahuasca ceremony without having done ayahuasca. ERIK: Wow. Well it's all frequency. Dave LaMorte: Because where you and I where where you and I work so hard to get to, she's there. ERIK: Mm-hmm. Dave LaMorte: She's there. ERIK: Wow. Yeah. Got the easy route on this trip, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: well the yeah. So but you gotta come you gotta come out and and check this place out. And yeah, if you you and Randy come out first class dude and and I'll and I'll and I'll I'll spring for the Jefferson Pools and and the Salt Cave, the Salt Cave up the road. ERIK: Yeah. I heard. Don't that's a way to do a retreat. I always say the aftercare is huge. And that that Randy was telling me and Dave LaMorte: Yeah. ERIK: I'm like, damn, that's a great idea. Dave LaMorte: We try to take care of people. ERIK: Yeah. Well I know you got one coming up, so Randy and I've been talking. We we just gotta see what makes sense. Dave LaMorte: just just Randy's got Celeste's number. let Celeste handle all that. She she c she gives me dates and I put on my co I put ERIK: Yeah, yeah. I do too. I've talked to her many times. Dave LaMorte: on my calendar and then work everything around that. And she All right. ERIK: Got it. Okay. Well, we'll do that. I appreciate it, Dave. Thanks for your Dave LaMorte: Yeah. ERIK: time. Dave LaMorte: No, great talking to you. It's always great talking to you. I one more thing. This is for you. I don't know. You ERIK: Yeah. Well Yeah. Dave LaMorte: might want to edit this out, I don't know. Scott's paying it forward. ERIK: yeah. yeah. Dave LaMorte: He, my sister and I are buying a spooky two to go to my son's house. He's going under the knife tomorrow for a cancer thing. And Scott, Scott Scott's like, We if I get a spooky two machine, will you will you help me with that? And I said, Are you gonna go up and set it up and everything? He goes, Yeah. I said, All right. We're there. Yeah. Well he's I thought you'd want to know. He I he doesn't always claim ERIK: Yeah, I taught him how to do all that stuff and we know it works. Yeah. Dave LaMorte: his his his his his dues. He's paying it forward. ERIK: Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah, I want more people. Everything's a frequency, man. You you gotta Dave LaMorte: Yeah, it is. ERIK: figure it out. That that makes me feel good. Thanks, Dave. We'll talk to you soon. Dave LaMorte: All right. You all have a good day. You betcha. ERIK: Yep.