Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Take Back Control of Your Direction (S5) S33:E3 Monday

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Take Back Control of Your Direction (S5) S33:E3 Monday · Inspirations for Your Life

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After the show is over, not now, and
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yeah, this is our new master topic that
1:23
kicked off on Saturday.
1:24
Without any further ado, guys, let's get into
1:27
the show.
1:29
This is Inspirations for Your Life.
1:31
Hey, ladies and gentlemen, stop waiting for your
1:33
life to change.
1:34
Series five, show 33, that's what this week
1:37
is, and the granular topic is take back
1:39
control of your direction.
1:41
Series five, show 33, episode number three.
1:45
Great to be with everyone here.
1:47
So this is Monday, it is August 10,
1:51
2026, and welcome everyone once again to Inspirations
1:55
for Your Life.
1:56
I am John C.
1:58
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
2:05
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student at
2:09
Montclair State University, passionate lifelong learner, and now
2:14
so grateful to be a published author.
2:17
That's right.
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All right, guys, have you ever reached the
2:20
end of an incredibly busy day and realized
2:24
that almost everything you did was determined by
2:27
somebody or something else?
2:30
Messages, meetings, requests, notifications, problems, obligations, and
2:36
interruptions can easily take control of your direction
2:41
without us even noticing it.
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So today, I'm changing that.
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Taking back control doesn't mean controlling everything around
2:50
you.
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It means becoming intentional about your choices, attention,
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time, environment, and the energy.
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Let's get into our 30 points for today,
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okay?
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Number one, stop living by default.
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Don't live on autopilot with everything you do.
3:08
If you never consciously choose your direction, circumstances
3:11
will choose it for you.
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Pay attention to where your daily patterns are
3:17
actually taking you.
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Number two, decide where you're going.
3:24
Direction requires a destination.
3:26
Get clear about what you're trying to build
3:29
and what you want the next chapter of
3:31
your life to represent.
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And I think that's important.
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I think a lot of people miss that
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because they're not intentional.
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They don't mean to not be intentional, but
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it just happens because they get into the
3:43
bustle and hustle of life.
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Number three, take ownership of your choices.
3:49
You can't control everything that happens, but you
3:55
can take responsibility for many of the decisions
3:58
you make in response.
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And that's going to have a pretty big
4:04
outlook to what you're doing and the people
4:06
you interact with.
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And I think that'll make some difference.
4:09
Number four, guys, audit what's controlling your attention.
4:14
Look at where your attention actually goes.
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Your phone, email, social media, interruptions, and other
4:21
people's priorities may be consuming more of it
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than you realize.
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I think it's important that we stop and
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we wake up to this today, not tomorrow,
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not next week, not next month, not next
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year.
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We have to be aware of things now.
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That's a very important thing to basically be
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aware of.
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And that's important to know, guys, really, really
4:53
important.
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Number five, question routines you inherited.
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Just because you've always done something a certain
5:04
way doesn't mean you need to continue.
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Ask whether your routines still support who you're
5:11
becoming.
5:12
Number six, stop surrendering your schedule.
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No need to do that.
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Your calendar shouldn't be entirely open to other
5:21
people.
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If you use calendaring systems, you can select
5:25
what's available and what's not.
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Make sure your own priorities have a legitimate
5:29
place on it first.
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A lot of people I know, this happened
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a lot during COVID time, they opened their
5:35
calendar and then suddenly they're like, oh my
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gosh, what happened to my day?
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What happened to my whole week?
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You just gave it up.
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And that's important to know.
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That's a crazy thing, but I think it's
5:54
really important that we're aware of it, okay?
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Number seven, guys, define what deserves your energy
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right now.
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Everything can't receive your maximum effort, no.
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Determine what genuinely deserves your best energy and
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what doesn't, okay?
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Number eight, remove unnecessary obligations.
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Some commitments remain in our lives simply because
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we've never reconsidered them.
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Removing what no longer matters creates a space
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for what does.
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But I know so many people that don't
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bother to think about, you know, cleaning out
6:38
or deciding to get rid of things, all
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right?
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That's important for us to be aware of
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that.
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So number nine, guys, choose your direction.
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But most importantly, guys, choose it deliberately, all
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right?
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Choose it deliberately.
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When you choose it deliberately, you are acting
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with intention, all right?
7:00
Don't drift toward whatever happens next.
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Some people I know are like, well, I'll
7:05
just float.
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Whatever happens, happens.
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Don't do that.
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Make conscious choices about where you're going and
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why you're going there.
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Number 10, stop letting urgency control you.
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Urgent and important aren't always the same thing.
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Don't allow the loudest demand to automatically become
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your highest priority.
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Number 11, reclaim your mornings.
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When possible, don't give the first part of
7:39
your day immediately to notifications and other people's
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agendas.
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Create some space for yourself.
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I think when we do that, we start
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to realize that we're important.
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You know, we deserve to have time in
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our life.
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You know, you have time for everybody else,
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but we should have time to do the
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things we want to do, whether that's resting,
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meditating, whether it's exercising, whatever it is, or
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doing something else fun, we should have that
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time.
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Number 12, control what enters your mind.
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What you repeatedly consume influences how you think.
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Be selective about the information, opinions, and distractions
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you allow into your attention.
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Now, if it happens once or twice, no
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big deal, right?
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No biggie.
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But if it keeps happening, that's a big
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problem to understand, all right?
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So be aware of those kinds of things.
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Because you see, guys, you have more power
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than you think, but the problem is you
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think about something, and then you complain you're
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on this path, but you're the one thinking
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about it.
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And you're saying you have no power.
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You do.
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You keep thinking about the same thing over
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and over again, and then wondering why you
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can't change it.
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That's sad.
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But you have the power to change it,
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guys.
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Number 13, set boundaries around your attention.
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People I know don't want to do this
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because they feel that if they set boundaries,
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people won't like them.
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No.
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You know, you have to realize when you're
9:24
having a negotiation, for example, in your business,
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I say to people, it's not personal.
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It's just business.
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If it's a relationship, you still can have
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boundaries.
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Boundaries are good because they keep us protected.
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So set boundaries around your attention.
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That's 13.
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You don't need to respond immediately to everything
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that arrives.
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Decide what deserves access to you and when.
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There's no need to just jump like everything's
9:57
a fire drill.
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I think that becomes a big problem for
10:00
people.
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Oh, you know, I'm just going to do
10:02
this because somebody responded.
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It's kind of like the phone ring.
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I remember many years ago when, bless my
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grandfather, he died.
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I think I told you when I was
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probably only in third grade of Thanksgiving night.
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And without getting all the details there.
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But anyway, he said something very important to
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me.
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And this is something you're probably going to
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say to me, John, this doesn't make sense.
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But I'm here to tell you, it makes
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a lot of sense.
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I'm going to tell you why it makes
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sense in a minute.
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The reason this makes sense is, again, you
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have more power than you think.
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You have more power than you think.
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And if you understand that you have more
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power than you think, the world is your
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oyster.
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The world is your oyster.
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I think that's a very important thing for
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us to understand.
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You know, we definitely can understand that.
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What I said about set boundaries around your
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attention.
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So my grandfather, I would be either at
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my grandparents' house.
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This is my dad's side.
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Or they were at our house.
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And the phone would ring.
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And I would jump up like a jackrabbit
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to go answer it.
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Because I had to get it before the
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first ring ended.
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I had to get it before it rang
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the second time.
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Why?
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I have no idea.
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Now you have to let the phone ring
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at least once so the caller ID will
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kick in.
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And some systems even delay the ring so
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by the time you get it, it's actually
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the second ring.
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My grandfather said to me, you know, you
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don't need to kill yourself trying to answer
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the phone.
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If you don't make it by the first
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ring, the second, the third, and if they
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don't wait till that, then they'll call back.
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Don't worry about it.
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And when he said that to me, I
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was like, well, grandpa, what if I was
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going, well, then you'll call back.
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You call people and they don't answer.
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And you hang up and you call back
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later.
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They'll do the same thing.
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So what he meant was basically really important,
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and I think this is something a lot
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of people miss, is to set boundaries around
12:18
your attention.
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The phone rang.
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It didn't mean I had to jump up
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like a jack-in-the-box or a
12:23
jack-rabbit to go get it, right?
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Or, you know, somebody sends an email, oh
12:28
my gosh, you gotta respond immediately.
12:29
You know, this is very typical when it
12:31
comes to, a lot of times, people are
12:34
dealing with an attorney and maybe they're not
12:36
that, let's say, versed in it.
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And so, you know, it's like a game,
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right?
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You email them.
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If you email them back immediately and you're
12:47
negotiating, you just lost your negotiation power, all
12:51
right?
12:52
You gotta let things sit a little bit.
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You let a day, you kind of chill,
12:57
you schedule.
12:58
You don't send it right back, okay?
13:01
Because when you do that, you change the
13:03
whole trajectory.
13:05
Now they know you're desperate.
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And that's a big problem, right?
13:11
A very big problem.
13:13
Number 14, guys, stop outsourcing important decisions.
13:17
Advice is useful, but your life cannot become
13:21
a committee vote.
13:23
Gather perspectives, then use your own judgment.
13:27
Don't go to a board for a decision
13:29
for everything you need.
13:31
Number 15, design your environment intentionally.
13:35
Your surroundings influence your behavior.
13:39
Make productive choices easier and unnecessary distractions harder
13:45
to reach you.
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When you do this, it's like your life
13:50
gets into a different pattern.
13:52
And it's pretty amazing how and why this
13:56
happens.
13:57
But it happens because, you know, if we
14:00
can get rid of a distraction in our
14:01
life, right?
14:03
Now we can focus on something else.
14:05
There's room for other good things, right?
14:07
Number 16, recognize what drains your attention.
14:11
Some activities consume more than time.
14:17
They drain the energy you need for important
14:20
work.
14:21
Identify those patterns before they control your day.
14:25
I think that's the most important thing is
14:27
being aware of things around you.
14:30
Number 17, make your calendar reflect your priorities.
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I always tell people this and they laugh.
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It's like, guys, if you're not on my
14:39
calendar, it's not happening.
14:41
Whether it's social, whether it's business, if you're
14:42
not on the calendar, it's not happening.
14:45
Here's my calendar link.
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And they laugh and I'm like, you're not
14:48
on my calendar.
14:52
And if I have things I wanna do
14:53
personally or business, I put them on my
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calendar.
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And then nobody else gets into that.
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I use an automated scheduling system, right?
15:00
So make your calendar reflect your priorities first.
15:03
If something truly matters, eventually it needs time
15:07
allocated to it.
15:08
Whether it's a celebration, whether it's to relax
15:12
or whatever it is, your priorities shouldn't exist
15:16
only as good intentions.
15:18
You need to schedule them.
15:20
When you schedule them, your mind and body
15:22
take you seriously.
15:23
Okay, he's scheduling this, she's scheduling it.
15:26
We're gonna make sure this happens, okay?
15:30
Number 18, eliminate automatic yeses.
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I used to be guilty of this.
15:35
You don't have to immediately accept every invitation.
15:39
Project favorite requests.
15:41
Give yourself permission to consider what you're committing
15:44
to.
15:46
Don't worry about people thinking you're not nice.
15:52
If you're always nice like that, you're gonna
15:55
deplete yourself of the time you deserve for
16:01
yourself.
16:03
Number 19, guys, choose what gets access to
16:07
you.
16:09
Access to your time and attention has value.
16:13
Treat it accordingly, okay?
16:14
Instead of allowing everything, equal access.
16:18
That's important.
16:20
And I think when we understand that caveat,
16:24
we start to realize that our life can
16:29
take different paths.
16:32
Okay?
16:33
And that all happens from our intentional choices.
16:37
Other people always try, I got some more
16:39
armchairs here.
16:41
Other people always try to get you to
16:43
go their way.
16:45
And their way may not always be for
16:49
the greater good of all concerned.
16:51
Might be good for them, but it might
16:53
not be so good for you.
16:55
So don't be so quick to jump up
16:56
like a jack-in-the-box.
16:59
Number 20, stop reacting to everything.
17:02
Not every message needs an immediate reply.
17:05
Not every comment requires a response.
17:09
Constant reaction prevents deliberate action.
17:13
Think about that for a moment, right?
17:16
Not every social media, not every post, not
17:19
every message you get, even if it's a
17:20
text, does it require a response?
17:23
Sometimes, you know, people like, they just become
17:24
compulsive.
17:25
Oh my gosh, I've gotta like give it
17:28
a check mark or a heart or something.
17:30
People do that in relationships, it's just like,
17:31
oh my gosh.
17:32
It's just like, they become so co-dependent.
17:34
Oh my gosh, did you text, did you
17:36
text?
17:36
What'd you say?
17:37
Did you like the message, did you like
17:38
the message?
17:39
Like, chill, okay?
17:41
Chill.
17:43
Number 21, build space for important thinking.
17:48
Some of your best decisions require quiet time.
17:55
Create uninterrupted periods where you can think, evaluate,
18:00
plan, and create.
18:05
A lot of people I know don't wanna
18:06
do that.
18:06
They're like, well, if I do that, then
18:08
what's gonna happen?
18:09
You're gonna start to become intentional and you're
18:12
still gonna start to have time and you're
18:14
gonna start having a better life.
18:17
Number 22, protect your best hours.
18:20
Identify when you're mentally strongest and protect that
18:23
time for work that genuinely benefits from your
18:28
best thinking.
18:29
Nothing wrong with that, that's being strategic.
18:33
If you're a morning riser, then make sure
18:35
your high priorities are done in the morning.
18:37
If you're a late night owl, then make
18:39
sure that your high priorities get done before
18:41
you go to sleep.
18:43
Number 23, guys, become the driver again.
18:48
You may not control the road traffic or
18:51
unexpected detours or the lights, but you can
18:55
still choose your destination and adjust your route.
18:58
If there's traffic on a route or if
19:00
there's an accident, you can get off at
19:03
the next exit.
19:05
You could do that.
19:08
Number 24, decide what no longer fits.
19:14
Something may have been right for an earlier
19:18
chapter and wrong for this one.
19:21
Give yourself permission to recognize when it's time
19:25
to move beyond it, beyond it.
19:29
A lot of people don't wanna give up.
19:32
They feel if they give up or they
19:34
change direction that they're quitting.
19:36
They're not quitting, they're changing the course of
19:39
direction.
19:40
And it's okay to do that for the
19:42
greater good of all concerned.
19:43
I'm telling you, don't say yes to everything.
19:48
I'm not saying to quit.
19:49
I'm not saying to stop.
19:51
I'm saying, stop saying yes to everybody.
19:55
Stop being a martyr.
19:57
Stop saying, oh, I've gotta do this for
19:59
them.
19:59
Or they're not gonna like me.
20:01
Who cares if they don't like you?
20:03
Anybody that's gonna abuse you so much is
20:05
not somebody you wanna be around.
20:07
Number 25, remove distractions without guilt.
20:10
Reducing distractions isn't selfish.
20:12
It's how you protect your ability and your
20:14
energy to give meaningful attention to what genuinely
20:17
matters in your life.
20:18
And guess what?
20:20
More good things will show up in your
20:22
life when you do that.
20:23
Number 26, create room for better choices.
20:27
Removing something unnecessary isn't merely subtraction, guys.
20:32
It creates space for opportunities.
20:34
It creates a void.
20:35
Whether it's relationships, thinking, experiences that matter more,
20:40
we create that void.
20:42
It's like things show up in our life
20:45
that we weren't expecting or we get these
20:48
little mini epiphany moments.
20:49
And I think those are pretty cool.
20:52
If we could understand how a perspective shift
20:58
or switch can change how we feel about
21:02
something, right?
21:06
That's important to know.
21:10
Number 27, direct your energy, okay?
21:15
Instead of scattering it, focus energy creates progress.
21:21
Scattered energy creates exhaustion.
21:25
Decide now where your effort can produce the
21:28
greatest meaningful result for you.
21:31
Number 28, own where you're headed.
21:35
John, what do you mean by that?
21:37
Great question.
21:38
Your direction belongs to you.
21:41
Advice, circumstances and responsibilities may influence it, but
21:46
ultimately you need to own the path you're
21:49
choosing.
21:51
People are afraid to do that, but that's
21:53
a big key to success in life.
21:55
Number 29, your direction determines your destination.
21:59
Small daily choices create trajectories.
22:03
Keep moving in one direction long enough and
22:07
eventually you're going to arrive somewhere.
22:11
Number 30, take the wheel back.
22:14
This brings everything together in full circle.
22:17
Stop allowing urgency, distraction, habit and other people's
22:22
expectations to drive your life.
22:27
Your life is your life.
22:30
If you wanna help them sometime and you
22:31
wanna listen to them, that's fine, but don't
22:33
let that become a constant 24 seven.
22:38
You'll burn out.
22:39
Become intentional about where you're going, what you're
22:42
doing and who you're doing it with.
22:45
As I'm getting ready to close out this
22:47
show today, taking back control of your direction
22:50
doesn't mean controlling every circumstance.
22:54
A lot of people have a social discomfort
22:57
of like, oh, I don't know if I
22:59
wanna do that.
23:00
I don't know how I'm gonna feel, how
23:01
they're gonna feel.
23:02
See, that's impossible, guys.
23:05
It means becoming more deliberate about what is
23:10
yours to control.
23:12
Your attention, your energy, your priorities, your boundaries,
23:19
your schedule, your choices.
23:24
You don't need to change everything overnight.
23:28
Start by looking at where your time and
23:31
attention are going right now.
23:34
Ask yourself whether those patterns are moving you
23:38
closer to the person or the life that
23:41
you're trying to build or pushing you further
23:43
away.
23:44
If they're not, change the direction.
23:47
It's simple.
23:49
It's not personal.
23:50
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm John Seymour, a serial
23:52
entrepreneur, and I thank you so much for
23:54
choosing to join me today for another amazing
23:57
episode of Inspirations for Your Life.
23:59
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, this is important, being
24:03
busy doesn't mean you're moving forward.
24:07
I know a lot of us, oh, John,
24:09
I'm so busy.
24:10
And they have this OCD of saying, I
24:14
gotta stay busy, but the busy they're doing
24:17
is not producing any results.
24:21
Oh, I'm so busy, what are you doing?
24:23
Oh, I'm doing things, I'm making money, I'm
24:24
so busy, but they're not.
24:28
And they get eluded by this delusion.
24:31
Know where you're going, right?
24:33
That's important.
24:34
If you don't know where you're going, how
24:36
are you ever gonna get there?
24:37
If I say, get in the car and
24:38
let's go somewhere, where are we going?
24:39
I don't know, we're just gonna go somewhere.
24:42
Very few people get in the car anymore
24:44
and just say, let's just take a drive.
24:45
It's nice to take a drive.
24:46
People say, well, I wanna know where I'm
24:47
going, gas costs X, I wanna know what
24:49
I'm doing.
24:50
I wanna at least know I'm going to
24:51
the country, or I wanna at least know
24:53
I'm going to Allentown, Pennsylvania.
24:54
I wanna at least know that.
24:56
The rest we can figure on the way,
24:58
right?
25:00
The rest we can decide on the way.
25:03
And I think if we have a little
25:05
bit of direction, then the rest of it
25:07
can be, let's say, creative, can be inspiration.
25:14
But if we suddenly want to, I don't
25:16
know, let's say, take a hobby up, and
25:21
we wanna learn woodcraft.
25:26
But if we don't at least get in
25:27
the hobby of woodcraft, how are we ever
25:29
gonna do it?
25:30
If we wanna do pottery, I think they
25:33
call it throwing, how are we ever gonna
25:35
be able to make a pot if we
25:37
don't even get in to try it, right?
25:41
I want you ladies and gentlemen to protect
25:43
what matters, and I know that's hard for
25:45
a lot of people.
25:46
Own your choices, even when it's hard around
25:48
others.
25:49
Your direction determines your destination, right?
25:53
What you pop in your GPS is where
25:55
you're going to.
25:56
And you do that each and every day
25:59
by the small choices and actions you take.
26:04
Don't like where you are right now?
26:07
Change the daily actions and thoughts you have.
26:10
You can do it.
26:12
I'm not gonna tell you it's gonna be
26:14
easy, because if I did that, that would
26:15
be lying.
26:16
And I said that growth happens when you're
26:19
uncomfortable.
26:20
It never happens when you're comfortable, right?
26:24
We've gotta push the envelope just a little
26:27
bit further so you can get to the
26:30
destination that you've wanted so very bad.
26:35
People get all upset, they get excited, because
26:38
things aren't going the way they want.
26:40
So they get fearful, they decide to hold
26:44
back.
26:47
And then they're like, we're at the same
26:51
spot again.
26:52
Yeah, we are.
26:55
Sometimes it's fear, false evidence appearing real to
26:58
hold you there.
26:59
Sometimes it's another person, whether it's a relationship,
27:02
friend, what have you.
27:04
Maybe it's a coworker.
27:07
And even though we're on the same project,
27:12
it might be something different we need to
27:13
do to get there.
27:15
They may need to do one thing.
27:17
Maybe you're studying with a partner and that
27:20
partner does some things, but you don't learn
27:21
that way.
27:23
Nothing wrong with telling them.
27:25
Nothing wrong with saying, hey, can we study
27:27
this way too?
27:28
It would help me take back your power.
27:35
Because if you don't, you're gonna burn out.
27:39
You're gonna get frustrated with life.
27:43
And that's a truth.
27:45
But you can make the choice today to
27:47
change, all right?
27:49
Take the wheel back in your life right
27:52
now.
27:53
Again, I'm John C.
27:54
Morley, serial entrepreneur.
27:55
Be sure to check out believemeachieved.com for
27:59
more of my amazing, inspiring creations.
28:01
Have a good one, everyone.
28:02
We'll see you real soon.