Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S2 E29 - Vox Populi

Transcript

S2 E29 - Vox Populi · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:01
SPEAKER_08: Welcome to the Stephen Jeff Show, the first comedy podcast in the history of the world.
0:08
SPEAKER_08: Assuming the world began when I started talking.
0:12
SPEAKER_08: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:17
SPEAKER_08: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:20
SPEAKER_08: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:24
SPEAKER_08: Well, thank you, Johnny and Jeff.
0:26
SPEAKER_08: Isn't it great to be back?
0:27
SPEAKER_08: It is.
0:28
SPEAKER_08: How's it going, Steve?
0:29
SPEAKER_08: It's been pretty good, but today was really weird.
0:32
SPEAKER_08: You know, I I work.
0:33
SPEAKER_08: Well, I I I go to a place where I'm supposed to work, but I don't, you know, like work, you know what I mean?
0:39
SPEAKER_08: But I digress.
0:40
SPEAKER_08: Uh, you know, my my boss there, Bill.
0:42
SPEAKER_08: Oh man, he had a tough day.
0:43
SPEAKER_08: He was very, very upset.
0:45
SPEAKER_07: Now, what happened?
0:46
SPEAKER_08: Middle of the day, he gets a call from the emergency room of the hospital calling about his wife.
0:50
SPEAKER_08: Turns out his wife was in a serious car accident.
0:53
SPEAKER_08: So he rushes down to the emergency room.
0:55
SPEAKER_07: Usually, Steve, that we start all these shows at the beginning with, you know, something that's kind of funny, but this feels a lot more serious.
1:02
SPEAKER_07: You know, I'm anxious here to learn what happened, but we just can't be joking about, you know, life and death stuff.
1:09
SPEAKER_07: So tell me what happened.
1:10
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, no, there's nothing funny about this.
1:12
SPEAKER_08: I'll tell you, you know, Bill totally blubbering and practically falling to his knees and saying, you know, where's my wife?
1:19
SPEAKER_08: Is she okay?
1:20
SPEAKER_08: What's happening?
1:21
SPEAKER_08: What's happening?
1:21
SPEAKER_08: So the doctor pauses for a second, looks at him, takes a deep breath, and says, Mr.
1:27
SPEAKER_08: Brown, which is his name, says, Mr.
1:30
SPEAKER_08: Brown, I'm sorry.
1:31
SPEAKER_08: I'm afraid I have some bad news.
1:32
SPEAKER_08: Your wife is in critical condition.
1:35
SPEAKER_08: Jeez.
1:36
SPEAKER_08: The accent was a lot more serious than we originally thought.
1:39
SPEAKER_08: She's paralyzed from the neck down.
1:42
SPEAKER_08: You're gonna have to feed her, bathe her, take care of her.
1:45
SPEAKER_08: You're gonna have to provide 24-7 care.
1:47
SPEAKER_08: And she's really not gonna be able to do anything for herself.
1:50
SPEAKER_08: You're gonna have to do it all for the rest of her life.
1:53
unknown: God.
1:53
SPEAKER_08: Bill is just he's crying and he so the doctor comes over, you know, puts his hand on Bill and kind of chuckles and says, Well, Bill, I just wanted to put it into perspective for you.
2:04
SPEAKER_08: Actually, she's dead.
2:05
SPEAKER_07: You know, I'm not a doctor.
2:06
SPEAKER_07: Maybe this is like doctor's protocol on you know, especially emergency room stuff, you know, where oh yeah, they want to soften the blow.
2:14
SPEAKER_07: You know, it's kind of like absolutely you you paint a bad picture, and then I guess it's a better piece of news, although I guess she's dead.
2:23
SPEAKER_07: So maybe it's not.
2:24
SPEAKER_08: I mean, it's kind of you know, pick your poison there, you know.
2:27
SPEAKER_08: I I'm not sure which is better, but it really gave me some something to think about there with perspective.
2:32
SPEAKER_08: It gave me some interesting thoughts, and a lot of our listeners have perspectives that maybe would benefit this show.
2:39
SPEAKER_07: And perspective is a confusing word because I sometimes people say perspective, maybe they mean ironic or or or it could be worse, or but in this case, I I think it's kind of worse, isn't it?
2:54
SPEAKER_07: Or maybe not worse.
2:55
SPEAKER_08: I don't know what kind of perspective, you know, it's it's not better.
2:58
SPEAKER_08: I mean, I don't know, you know, but but yeah, and and sometimes, Jeff, let's be honest, sometimes people say perspective when they mean prospective.
3:07
SPEAKER_08: I mean, just because they're illiterate.
3:09
SPEAKER_08: I just there's not a nice way to say that, they're just illiterate, okay, right?
3:13
SPEAKER_07: You know, it's not that that bothers me, but hey, I always think of the sports analogy where it's like, okay, somebody strikes out with the bases loaded and they go, you know, that's horrible.
3:23
SPEAKER_07: I feel really sorry.
3:24
SPEAKER_07: And then the guy says, But you know, if you keep your perspective, it's not like people died or it's the end of the world, and uh it is better than like nuclear war, okay.
3:36
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, you know, yeah, okay.
3:38
SPEAKER_08: It's bad for a moment, but later it kind of doesn't matter.
3:42
SPEAKER_07: It's and it's like, you know, I'm married to Kathy, and some people would say that's bad.
3:48
SPEAKER_07: I don't know what people would say that probably well, probably her relatives, you know, would say that that's bad.
3:54
SPEAKER_07: And what I would say, it could be worse.
3:56
SPEAKER_07: You know, I could hit my hand with a hammer and break my hand.
3:59
SPEAKER_07: I think that's worse.
4:00
SPEAKER_07: So if you have that right perspective, right?
4:03
SPEAKER_07: You don't have to freak out about the fact that a Catholic girl married a Jewish guy and they can't seem to get rid of him.
4:09
SPEAKER_08: You know, Jeff, speaking of not being able to get rid of things, I don't know if you looked at the calendar, but tonight is a show that we just can't get rid of because they're it's so popular.
4:19
SPEAKER_08: The people love it, they demand it, they ask for it, they call for it, they write in for it, they want it.
4:26
SPEAKER_08: Tonight is caller phone night.
4:28
SPEAKER_08: That's my favorite.
4:30
SPEAKER_08: Our callers get to call us up and talk to us, ask us questions, and just mostly tell us how much they love us.
4:38
SPEAKER_08: We need to do this show, especially after today.
4:41
SPEAKER_08: We need to do the show more than ever.
4:42
SPEAKER_08: And this is this is for Bill.
4:44
SPEAKER_07: Well, you're right.
4:44
SPEAKER_07: And no matter what problems or challenges these people ask of us, we know that there's always some good news on the other side.
4:53
SPEAKER_07: And that's right.
4:54
SPEAKER_07: You know, that's I think that's the perspective that we're looking for.
4:59
SPEAKER_08: Yes.
5:00
SPEAKER_08: Why don't we take our first caller?
5:02
SPEAKER_08: Great.
5:02
SPEAKER_03: Good evening.
5:03
SPEAKER_03: This is John from Peoria, Illinois.
5:06
SPEAKER_03: I'm calling because you had a guest on your show who had survived a bunch of airplane crashes, and I was hoping I could hook up with him, maybe do some traveling with him.
5:19
SPEAKER_03: Uh, I did hear that he was lost out at sea.
5:23
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if he was ever found, but I'm very interested in doing some travel with him.
5:28
SPEAKER_03: More importantly, my wife does a lot of travel, and I was hoping maybe she could go with him.
5:33
SPEAKER_03: Uh, we're not doing real well in our marriage, and I just thought maybe a change of scenery, and who knows what could happen.
5:40
SPEAKER_03: And uh, I'd be very interested in learning more about what his travel plans are, assuming he is still alive.
5:47
SPEAKER_03: Thanks.
5:48
SPEAKER_08: You know, Jeff, that reminds me, we have been somewhat negligent.
5:52
SPEAKER_08: You see, we had last year we had Crash Davis, Bob Crash Davis on survived at that time, I think it was 17 plane crashes.
6:01
SPEAKER_08: Unfortunately, he was on number 18 or 19 and was lost, lost over the ocean.
6:08
SPEAKER_08: But we heard, and gosh, you know, it was all the I think it was the problems with Miss Claire.
6:12
SPEAKER_08: We just kind of got distracted.
6:14
SPEAKER_08: We meant to tell the listeners a long time ago he's fine, he was found, he was rescued, and we can't wait to get him back on the show.
6:22
SPEAKER_08: So he's gonna be flying again.
6:23
SPEAKER_08: So the guy from Fioria that called, you can travel with Crash Davis.
6:27
SPEAKER_07: And that's a really good example of perspective, you know.
6:31
SPEAKER_07: I think the perspective that there's always a chance things could be better.
6:35
SPEAKER_07: Let's say that Bob didn't make it, 17 successful crashes.
6:40
SPEAKER_07: Right, you can celebrate that.
6:42
SPEAKER_07: You don't have to go to the dark side just because he may have been eaten by sharks, although I don't think they have sharks in Lake Michigan, but you know, eaten by something.
6:50
SPEAKER_07: And then this guy, the guy who's uh calling in, this is a chance for his marriage to get back on its feet by you know having his wife travel with Bob.
7:00
SPEAKER_07: That'd be perfect.
7:02
SPEAKER_08: Absolutely.
7:02
SPEAKER_08: And if I remember the Crash Davis show correctly, he he really should encourage his wife to not sit near Crash Davis, sit completely the other side of the plane, if you know what I mean.
7:12
SPEAKER_07: I could be wrong, but it looks like this guy may have bought her a ticket next to Bob.
7:17
SPEAKER_07: I don't know why, but you know, maybe she just he wants her to, you know, be comforted because she'll know somebody and you know who knows the ropes.
7:25
SPEAKER_07: And I'm sure it'll all work out for them.
7:27
SPEAKER_07: And at the end of the day, their their perspective on this will be quite a bit different, especially if they have another crash.
7:34
SPEAKER_08: You know, that was Bob's advice.
7:35
SPEAKER_08: Sit close, remember?
7:36
SPEAKER_08: So that was said sit close.
7:38
SPEAKER_08: And so caller from Peoria.
7:41
SPEAKER_08: I think you're on your way to travel happiness, you and your wife.
7:44
SPEAKER_08: This is so much fun.
7:45
SPEAKER_08: Let's let's take another one.
7:46
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: This is a call for Steve and Jeff.
7:49
SPEAKER_02: My name is John Burgnani.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: I work for the potty awards, and I have some uh disappointing news, but overall, you guys uh you know did wonderfully in the awards, but you also received an award for the best plumbing podcast.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: And at the time, uh yeah, I hadn't listened to the show, but it turns out that you actually didn't win the award.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: It was actually Jeff and Steve's plumbing, not Steve and Jeff.
8:17
SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna probably need that award back.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: If you can give us a call, we can figure out a way to get that transported back to us.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: Thanks a lot.
8:26
SPEAKER_02: Congratulations on winning all the other awards.
8:28
SPEAKER_07: Want me to take first crack at this?
8:30
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, I don't even know what to say.
8:32
SPEAKER_07: On the surface, it's very much like that baseball player who struck out with the bases loaded.
8:37
SPEAKER_07: I'm thinking, what, they're gonna they're gonna want the award back.
8:40
SPEAKER_07: I mean, I you know, they gave two of them, you know, one for you, one for me for that for that category.
8:45
SPEAKER_07: And I've already got mine, you know, on the shelf with all the other ones, and they're gonna have a hard time getting that award back for me.
8:52
SPEAKER_07: But on the other hand, this opens up an opportunity because it means that we still can expand to other categories.
9:01
SPEAKER_07: And even though we may not have won this one, who's to say that we won't uh enter that category next year and win it legitimately?
9:08
SPEAKER_08: I would cheerfully give mine back with exactly that attitude that hey, we're gonna make it better in the future.
9:14
SPEAKER_08: I would gladly give mine back, but unfortunately, my mom sold it because you know we don't pay Johnny, and Johnny was eating her out of house and home, and so she needed some money, and so she sold it.
9:24
SPEAKER_08: I think she got like enough to buy a runzo with, maybe.
9:27
SPEAKER_08: I don't know.
9:28
SPEAKER_07: Really that much?
9:29
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, well, I got I've I've got like eight of them from uh you know all the other categories that we won.
9:34
SPEAKER_08: Well, when I say a runzo, I don't mean like a whole store, I mean like one sandwich.
9:39
SPEAKER_08: Oh it's it's about eight bucks.
9:41
SPEAKER_07: So it's that's the perspective I'm talking about.
9:45
SPEAKER_07: You see it as one sandwich, I see it as a meal.
9:47
SPEAKER_07: That's the positive perspective.
9:50
SPEAKER_08: Hey, nobody was gonna buy me lunch, but somebody did, apparently.
9:54
SPEAKER_08: Exactly right.
9:54
SPEAKER_08: Somebody says, Hey, I'd like to buy you lunch.
9:56
SPEAKER_08: Uh it's a nice thing, it's a friendly gesture.
9:59
SPEAKER_07: You know, before you go to the next caller, I had something happen to me, and I just wanted your take on this.
10:04
SPEAKER_07: Um, it's a little bit off the subject, but you know, I was listening to a couple of the episodes, my family was listening to a couple of our past episodes, and they noticed that I've been using this crutch.
10:16
SPEAKER_07: We've talked about crutches before, where you end up saying something frequently like how's it going, Steve?
10:22
SPEAKER_07: You know, that's kind of my trademark slash crutch.
10:25
SPEAKER_07: But one of them that they've noticed that I say a lot is to be perfectly honest.
10:31
SPEAKER_07: And I noticed that almost every episode I say to be perfectly honest.
10:37
SPEAKER_07: And I remember in my psychology class in college where they said that what people who say they're honest are usually lying.
10:45
unknown: Right.
10:46
SPEAKER_08: Well, well, that that would be my first thought.
10:48
SPEAKER_08: Is like to be honest, it's like, oh, so everything else you said is a lie, but this is now you suddenly this is honest?
10:54
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
10:55
SPEAKER_07: So I'm like, let me go back and see.
10:57
SPEAKER_07: Does Steve have any crutches?
10:59
SPEAKER_07: And you you say digress.
11:01
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, and I wonder what you're really meaning I digress.
11:05
SPEAKER_07: I are you really meaning you gress?
11:07
SPEAKER_07: Because you know, it's kind of like when I say I'm being perfectly honest, I'm actually being dishonest.
11:11
SPEAKER_07: So when you are digressing, are you actually gressing?
11:15
SPEAKER_08: I might be.
11:18
SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
11:18
SPEAKER_08: I don't know.
11:19
SPEAKER_08: Gosh, if I was still seeing the therapist, I could ask her.
11:22
SPEAKER_08: But you know, I don't know.
11:23
SPEAKER_07: Well, and to be perfectly honest, she's working parking cars now, you know.
11:26
SPEAKER_07: So yeah, but to be perfectly honest, uh it's not a big deal.
11:30
SPEAKER_07: Oh there I go again.
11:32
SPEAKER_07: There you go.
11:33
SPEAKER_07: So I guess it's it maybe it is a big deal, and it shouldn't be a big deal because the perspective should be that it's fine to say things that are lies sometimes, and uh to be dishonest as long as your intentions are good or it's at least profitable, right?
11:49
SPEAKER_08: If you have a good reason, you have to have a good reason.
11:52
SPEAKER_08: You told the truth, you told a lie, or you're told a lie with an explanation.
11:56
SPEAKER_08: That's important.
11:57
SPEAKER_08: You got to have that explanation, really important.
11:59
SPEAKER_07: And lying is not an exact science.
12:01
SPEAKER_07: Oh no, no, there's no way to really measure whether something's a lie or not.
12:06
SPEAKER_07: People say they can, but you know, they have the wrong perspective if they're if they think they really can.
12:11
SPEAKER_08: Because I think those lie detectors.
12:14
SPEAKER_08: Oh, please.
12:14
SPEAKER_08: Oh come on.
12:16
SPEAKER_08: Oh man.
12:17
SPEAKER_08: More like lie defective.
12:19
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, so sorry, I didn't mean to get off track here, but it was just it's kind of been bothering me, to be perfectly honest.
12:25
SPEAKER_08: Maybe let's let's check in with our producer.
12:27
SPEAKER_08: Hey, Miss Claire, what do you think about honesty?
12:30
SPEAKER_08: Oh, Miss Claire is muted.
12:32
SPEAKER_08: Boy, that must be painful.
12:34
SPEAKER_08: Is that the same as neutered?
12:35
SPEAKER_08: It can be.
12:36
SPEAKER_06: There it is.
12:37
SPEAKER_06: Uh, apparently, my mic didn't want me to talk about honesty.
12:40
SPEAKER_08: Wow, I really wish I was still seeing that therapist.
12:43
SPEAKER_08: That sounds like it's got meaning.
12:45
SPEAKER_08: I don't know what.
12:46
SPEAKER_06: Maybe the mic knew something that y'all just didn't.
12:49
SPEAKER_08: Well, that's certainly possible.
12:50
SPEAKER_08: How's it going?
12:51
SPEAKER_08: Hello?
12:52
SPEAKER_08: Miss Miss Claire, please.
12:53
SPEAKER_07: See now that that's sort of Claire's trademark, or some would say crutch.
12:58
SPEAKER_07: Well, you know, she says that hello thing, which again, I'm not sure.
13:02
SPEAKER_07: I don't know exactly how that works.
13:04
SPEAKER_07: Does that mean the opposite?
13:05
SPEAKER_07: She's saying goodbye, or does it mean something?
13:07
SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
13:07
SPEAKER_08: And Jeff, something that you do repeatedly, is it a crutch or is it a glide path?
13:13
SPEAKER_08: Is it something you're relying on because you don't want to do the hard work of doing something else?
13:18
SPEAKER_08: Or is it something that you've developed through hard work that makes it easier?
13:23
SPEAKER_08: I don't know if it's I don't know.
13:24
SPEAKER_07: Nan, if it's a glide path, we should be talking to Bob Brash Davis.
13:27
SPEAKER_08: Question he glided right over Lake Michigan.
13:30
SPEAKER_07: Totally.
13:31
SPEAKER_08: And and survived and is fine and is back on airplanes.
13:34
SPEAKER_07: So I digress.
13:36
SPEAKER_07: Well, don't we all don't we all we we all digress sometimes, I think.
13:40
SPEAKER_08: Let's uh let's see who's on the phone here.
13:42
SPEAKER_08: Let's take another caller.
13:43
SPEAKER_04: Okay.
13:44
SPEAKER_04: This is a call for Steve.
13:45
SPEAKER_04: My name is Mr.
13:46
SPEAKER_04: Smith.
13:47
SPEAKER_04: I'm with Old Time Products, where we have uh different products that are not normally sold anymore.
13:54
SPEAKER_04: And you had requested uh a group of uh blue basketballs that were uh from the ABA era, and you were requesting uh, I think six blue balls that uh they're they're all blue.
14:08
SPEAKER_04: So if you can give me a call, we have those in stock, we can send those out to you.
14:12
SPEAKER_04: Thanks.
14:12
SPEAKER_04: Have a great day.
14:13
SPEAKER_08: I'm not touching that one.
14:15
SPEAKER_08: I think that's for you, Steve.
14:16
SPEAKER_08: I am so happy to hear that.
14:18
SPEAKER_08: Boy, I've been waiting for those.
14:19
SPEAKER_08: I looked and looked.
14:20
SPEAKER_08: You know, when you really want to find a bunch of blue balls, you just really can't find them.
14:24
SPEAKER_08: If you don't want them, they're everywhere, right?
14:26
SPEAKER_08: But you know, when you're looking, it's just hard to find.
14:29
SPEAKER_08: I gotta call that guy back and order some.
14:31
SPEAKER_07: It's been a long time since uh I've had blue balls and and I've tried to blow them up.
14:36
SPEAKER_07: Usually, but you know, in my youth, you know, and that was when you know you and I had those pumps.
14:41
SPEAKER_07: Remember the popular pumps from the hand pumps from the 70s.
14:46
SPEAKER_07: So I don't have that anymore, Steve.
14:47
SPEAKER_07: And it it it seems harder to pump those balls up now.
14:51
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, it is.
14:52
SPEAKER_08: Without that hand pump, I don't know what you do.
14:54
SPEAKER_08: You just gotta let them sit.
14:55
SPEAKER_07: Or you use your mouth.
14:56
SPEAKER_07: It's the old old school, you know, instead of using the pump, you know, since we don't have those anymore.
15:01
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, maybe you just blow, you know, they you blow up those balls with your mouth.
15:05
SPEAKER_08: So I yeah, that takes talent because that that little that nozzle is really small.
15:09
SPEAKER_07: It is.
15:10
SPEAKER_07: Let me know how that works out for you, though.
15:12
SPEAKER_07: Maybe I'll purchase a few of those myself.
15:13
SPEAKER_07: I wasn't really into the blue balls as much as the regular balls, but as I think I've told you before, I did have that accident where you know one of the balls blew up and I went blind for a while.
15:25
SPEAKER_07: I hate that, hate that.
15:27
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, and so uh that's one of the risks, though, you know, that's on the package, says that right right there.
15:32
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, and my mom used to tell me that all the time.
15:35
SPEAKER_07: You know, you go into your room, you close the door, lock the door, and then you start pumping those balls and bad things are gonna happen because maybe blue balls are in my future.
15:46
SPEAKER_07: Who knows?
15:47
SPEAKER_08: It could be, you know, the ABA could make a comeback.
15:49
SPEAKER_08: Who knows?
15:50
SPEAKER_08: Let's uh let's take another caller here.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: Good evening for Steve and Jeff.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm with uh UPS.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: I've got a delivery downstairs.
15:56
SPEAKER_00: Thanks.
15:57
SPEAKER_08: Oh, wow.
15:58
SPEAKER_08: We're getting what do you think that is just here at the studio here at eccentric Lady Land Studios?
16:03
SPEAKER_08: We're actually getting mail.
16:04
SPEAKER_08: This is so exciting.
16:06
SPEAKER_08: Not only are we back, but we're getting mail here.
16:08
SPEAKER_08: This is so cool.
16:09
SPEAKER_08: Are you expecting something?
16:11
SPEAKER_08: I really wasn't, but that engineer is uh grabbing it for us here.
16:14
SPEAKER_07: And uh I think on back order I was looking for a poster, I think it was uh a reproduction of TV guide copy from 1973 or 74 with Joey Heatherton on the cover.
16:26
SPEAKER_07: So I'm waiting for that.
16:28
SPEAKER_08: I'm not sure what this is.
16:29
SPEAKER_08: I don't know.
16:30
SPEAKER_08: It looks like it looks like a Jeff, it looks like a personal massager, if you know what I mean.
16:37
SPEAKER_08: And I'm pretty sure you do.
16:39
SPEAKER_07: I do.
16:39
SPEAKER_07: I had one of those, Steve.
16:41
SPEAKER_07: I broke the tip off.
16:42
SPEAKER_07: That must be for you.
16:43
SPEAKER_07: That's that that's not mine.
16:44
SPEAKER_08: Well, I I don't know who it's for.
16:46
SPEAKER_08: Does this look like a personal massager to you?
16:49
SPEAKER_07: It kind of looks like a weapon.
16:51
SPEAKER_07: It says personal massager, but it looks more like a weapon.
16:55
SPEAKER_07: I Claire, is this could this be yours?
16:57
SPEAKER_06: Uh yeah, it it could be.
16:59
SPEAKER_06: I it might have had a wrong address there.
17:02
SPEAKER_06: Let me just uh come into that side of the glass and just scoop that up for you real quick.
17:06
SPEAKER_08: Oh, it looks like it's got a trigger lock.
17:10
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, you know, best of its kind.
17:12
SPEAKER_06: It got it had great reviews.
17:14
SPEAKER_06: Uh you know, what can I say?
17:15
SPEAKER_06: Because you'd see God, so practicing atheist.
17:19
SPEAKER_06: I just I wanted I wanted that experience.
17:21
SPEAKER_07: It's a religious document.
17:23
SPEAKER_07: So yeah, I mean product.
17:24
SPEAKER_07: I get it.
17:25
SPEAKER_07: That's great.
17:26
SPEAKER_07: Gosh, I bet we better take another call.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: Stephen Jeff, I'm uh leaving this message for you.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure if I should be speaking with which one of you, but I am the admissions manager for Triton Junior College in uh the Chicago area, and there was a discrepancy on a transcript that was sent out uh to one of uh of the universities.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: This is a while back, but uh it was for a woman named Claire, and I just am following up to try to see what may have happened.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: It looked like uh there had been some changes on the transcript, and as a result, uh uh I got a um complaint from one of the uh employers that she works for.
18:13
SPEAKER_01: So if you could give me a call, that'd be great.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
18:16
SPEAKER_07: Wow, one of the employers.
18:19
SPEAKER_07: I just want to say up front here, I'm sure it's not a problem.
18:22
SPEAKER_07: In fact, the perspective that we should have, Steve, is that Claire has studied in many different institutions.
18:32
SPEAKER_07: She rarely has, she really has.
18:34
SPEAKER_07: I'm and I'm not one to question anything, especially tonight.
18:39
SPEAKER_08: I think someone like her who has studied so many places can't be limited by a transcript and can't be limited even by a doctored transcript, even from Triton College, which hey, who can argue with Triton College?
18:54
SPEAKER_08: But even there, I don't think she can be limited by that.
18:57
SPEAKER_07: Triton College, I don't know if uh how much you know about Triton College, but it was voted in the top 100 junior colleges in the city of Maywood, Illinois.
19:07
SPEAKER_07: Wow.
19:08
SPEAKER_07: And that that alone, I think that's on par with your Harvards and your Yales.
19:14
SPEAKER_07: I think it's been referred to as the Yale of Community Colleges of Maywood.
19:20
SPEAKER_08: The Yale of Maywood, yeah.
19:21
SPEAKER_08: And that Yale of Maywood.
19:23
SPEAKER_08: To win that award, it had to beat out the racetrack in Maywood, so you know they're doing something there.
19:27
SPEAKER_08: That's right.
19:28
SPEAKER_08: I mean, because that that racetrack, that's a pretty popular place.
19:31
SPEAKER_07: To confirm, Claire, you're doing a great job, and uh, you know, nothing there.
19:36
SPEAKER_07: In fact, we should probably just move on as quickly as possible.
19:40
SPEAKER_08: Yeah, with that weapon, I don't really want to talk about the changing the T R A N S, however you spell transcripts.
19:50
SPEAKER_06: Sometimes, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.
19:53
SPEAKER_06: I know the admissions lady hated me, so you know, sometimes it's just easier to give them an exact copy of the diploma that I got, you know.
20:03
SPEAKER_06: You lose it in the move, you know.
20:05
SPEAKER_06: Absolutely secure your documents, they had a bottle all over the place.
20:10
SPEAKER_08: Oh, so she had lost it and she was just helping them out by hacking into the system and recreating it.
20:17
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, exactly.
20:18
SPEAKER_06: So now they've got giving someone an extra job to do, you know.
20:21
SPEAKER_08: Wow, that is so thoughtful.
20:23
SPEAKER_08: That's a clean that's great.
20:24
SPEAKER_07: You're you're really amazing, you know.
20:26
SPEAKER_07: That's outstanding.
20:27
SPEAKER_07: I'm so impressed.
20:29
SPEAKER_08: I do try.
20:30
SPEAKER_08: Worth every dime we're paying her, isn't it?
20:32
SPEAKER_08: It I that's just outstanding.
20:33
SPEAKER_08: That is so good.
20:34
SPEAKER_08: Both of them, both of them, yeah.
20:36
SPEAKER_08: Well, what what about another call?
20:38
SPEAKER_08: I think we got time for another call here.
20:40
SPEAKER_08: What do you think?
20:40
SPEAKER_08: Perfect.
20:41
SPEAKER_05: Hi, Stephen Jeff.
20:42
SPEAKER_05: My name is Sarah.
20:43
SPEAKER_05: Saw your website, saw your photo, and your couple very handsome men.
20:49
SPEAKER_05: And I think I may have also seen you on the website Three's Company, which is an adult dating website.
20:57
SPEAKER_05: So I'm very interested in meeting both of you.
21:01
SPEAKER_05: And we can all go out for a drink and see where that takes us.
21:03
SPEAKER_05: So give me a call and you have a chance.
21:05
SPEAKER_07: Now, this is a complete misunderstanding.
21:08
SPEAKER_07: Three's Company, I thought was about the TV show.
21:12
SPEAKER_08: It's about that TV show, yeah, with John Ritter and all, you know.
21:14
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, absolutely.
21:16
SPEAKER_07: I don't know, uh I don't know how it got confused with, you know, I know that our photo has the two of us side by side, and you're very strapping, dude.
21:24
SPEAKER_07: Well quite the good looking place.
21:26
SPEAKER_08: Well, thank you.
21:26
SPEAKER_08: Why thank you.
21:27
SPEAKER_08: And and actually, may I say you're quite dapper in the photo.
21:31
SPEAKER_07: Thank you.
21:31
SPEAKER_07: And you're a tall drink of water, that's for sure.
21:34
SPEAKER_08: Strapping and dapper.
21:35
SPEAKER_07: Claire, do you agree that you got a couple handsome guys as hosts of this show?
21:39
SPEAKER_07: Wouldn't you wouldn't you say that?
21:40
SPEAKER_07: As and and you might want to put that gun down before you answer.
21:43
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, please.
21:44
SPEAKER_06: They say that there are voices that are made for radio.
21:48
SPEAKER_06: I think you got both have faces that are made for television.
21:52
SPEAKER_06: We might be in the wrong media here.
21:54
SPEAKER_06: Wow.
21:55
SPEAKER_07: What a compliment.
21:56
SPEAKER_08: And here I thought that strapping and dapper was like a Really strange law firm, but no, we've got it.
22:02
SPEAKER_08: We own it.
22:03
SPEAKER_08: We should be in the public eye, not just the Vox Populi, but the View Populi.
22:10
SPEAKER_07: And I thought you were describing um a cartoon.
22:12
SPEAKER_07: Didn't they do another one after Ren and Stempy?
22:15
SPEAKER_07: You know, I thought that's what we were talking about.
22:17
SPEAKER_08: Strapping and dapper, yeah.
22:18
SPEAKER_07: Strapping and dapper.
22:19
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
22:20
SPEAKER_07: Funny.
22:20
SPEAKER_07: Funny.
22:21
SPEAKER_08: Oh, it was hilarious.
22:22
SPEAKER_07: Best friends, beat each other up all the time, swearing.
22:27
SPEAKER_08: And it was sort of like a cross between Hannah Barbera and on anime.
22:31
SPEAKER_08: You know, it was it was it was out there.
22:33
SPEAKER_08: It was a little unique, but it was good.
22:35
SPEAKER_08: It was one of a kind.
22:36
SPEAKER_08: Let me just say that.
22:37
SPEAKER_08: It was definitely one of a kind.
22:39
SPEAKER_07: And anime, she was so good looking on the Beverly Hillbillies.
22:42
SPEAKER_07: Oh, she was.
22:43
SPEAKER_07: Oh my gosh.
22:44
SPEAKER_07: Yes.
22:45
SPEAKER_07: She would go swimming in that cement pond, and I can't tell you.
22:50
SPEAKER_07: I would immediately go and blow up my balls in my room while I was watching the Beverly Hillbillies.
22:56
SPEAKER_08: On her own, she could cause the ABA to come back.
22:58
SPEAKER_08: Totally.
22:59
SPEAKER_07: And and Jane Hathaway, another good-looking woman.
23:03
SPEAKER_07: If you're into the Carol Burnett kind of thing, you know, I think that works.
23:07
SPEAKER_08: See, I I always kind of like Miss Jane.
23:10
SPEAKER_08: Tall, thin, somewhat intellectual.
23:12
SPEAKER_08: I mean, you know, she was a secretary of the bank.
23:15
SPEAKER_08: I mean, I don't know if that really is an intellectual sort of position, but she acted kind of like an intellectual.
23:20
SPEAKER_08: And that's always moved me, Jeff.
23:22
SPEAKER_08: I gotta tell you.
23:23
SPEAKER_07: Now that we've started talking about that, maybe we can still go into three'scompany.com and you know, maybe meet this person because I'm I I'm feeling social.
23:32
SPEAKER_08: Jeff, I think even if we did not want to pursue anything further, I think we owe it to our listeners to meet them.
23:40
SPEAKER_08: If a listener wants to meet us, I think we have to be there.
23:44
SPEAKER_08: We have to go, we have to have that meeting.
23:46
SPEAKER_08: It's our duty.
23:47
SPEAKER_08: It is our duty, yes, as purveyors of the medium, it is our duty to respond to those listeners, to those people, to our fans.
23:56
SPEAKER_07: And most of our fans need a different perspective.
23:59
SPEAKER_07: And I think it all goes back to the what we started with uh you know, having that perspective, having that confidence, knowing that things don't seem right, but they end up working out in the end.
24:13
SPEAKER_08: Absolutely.
24:14
SPEAKER_08: Boy, speaking of working out in the end, I really have liked these callers, and I think we should provide something to those people that took the time to call us and be on this show.
24:24
SPEAKER_08: So, Johnny, what do we have for our great callers?
24:28
SPEAKER_08: Right, Steve.
24:29
SPEAKER_08: For our callers, we have a full-color crayon drawing of the not yet released iPhone 16 with all kinds of upgrades we can only guess at.
24:39
SPEAKER_08: Our callers can imagine the phone in any one of millions of possible settings.
24:43
SPEAKER_08: It all depends on their perspective.
24:46
SPEAKER_08: No discount implied for the actual phone whenever it's released.
24:51
SPEAKER_08: And at great personal effort but trivial cost, we'll send them a video of Miss Claire using the items she received on tonight's show live on the FBI Target Range at Quantico, Virginia.
25:03
SPEAKER_08: Old Jay Edgar would drop his hoop skirt if he could see her hit the target every time, even with her back turned.
25:11
SPEAKER_08: A double action treat brought to you by the producers of Cordite Cologne.
25:16
SPEAKER_08: Cordite, for those nights you want the smell of fear coming right back at you.
25:21
SPEAKER_08: Plus, an exciting action-packed weekend guest membership in Threes Company Adult Dating Service.
25:27
SPEAKER_08: At 3's Company, you'll be so pleased when you're in that threesome.
25:32
SPEAKER_08: This has been a pump action production in association with Gregor Samson Media.
25:36
SPEAKER_08: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show whenever you listen to podcasts.
25:42
SPEAKER_08: This is Johnny speaking.
25:44
SPEAKER_08: Steve's mom and I don't need any items delivered to have a good time.
25:48
SPEAKER_08: When I pour papa vodka over Steve's mom's mac and cheese, he needs UPS.
25:55
SPEAKER_08: Good night.