Latest / Highland Student Ministry / Taming the Tongue // Gossip vs. Speaking Life // Ryan Oakes (MS - 9/10)

Transcript

Taming the Tongue // Gossip vs. Speaking Life // Ryan Oakes (MS - 9/10) · Highland Student Ministry

• 0:00
  Ryan: Hey. If I haven't gotten to meet you before, my name is Ryan. I'm the student pastor. I get to come down here every now and then. I also hang out with the high schoolers quite a bit.
• 0:08
  And so I just wanted to thank you guys for letting me join you in the basement. It is so fun to be down here. The only thing I'm bummed about is that I missed out on some Foursquare, but I know that the time will come. Alright? So if you won at Foursquare tonight, know that you were lucky and tonight was your only time to enjoy that.
• 0:22
  Alright? That's it. That's neither here nor there. We're gonna do something fun tonight. Okay?
• 0:26
  We are continuing our sermon series called Taming the Tongue. And tonight we are talking about gossip versus speaking life. Everyone say it with me. Gossip versus speaking life. Amen.
• 0:38
  All right. So we are going to try and be interactive. We're gonna have some fun. I have written down the passage that we're gonna spend our time in on this dry erase board. And I have my trusty blue dry erase board marker here.
• 0:51
  I'm going to make some notes on this dry erase board. Now here's what I'm telling you guys. This is not the first time I'm reading this passage. Okay. I'm not just making this up.
• 1:03
  But here's why I decided to do this tonight. Is for one, our passage is in the book of Proverbs. And quite frankly, the book of Proverbs has a lot of pretty straightforward truths. They'll use a lot of images, but they can be pretty straightforward truths. But two, I wanted you guys to see that when we get up here and share from God's word on a microphone, we're not just making things up.
• 1:28
  I wanted you to see how do we draw these conclusions because you can know that you too can read the scripture and draw these conclusions. You too can read the scripture and ask questions and pursue the truth just like I can. Just like Nathan, Katie, Caleb, your leaders, you can do that too. So tonight we're going to practice that. Sound good?
• 1:47
  Thumbs up? Yeah. So that's what your pin is for. Your pin is if you would like to make notes in the way that I make notes, you are more than welcome to do that. All right?
• 1:56
  Are we ready? Yeah? All right. Let's pray. Lord, thank you for this time.
• 2:02
  God, thank you for this space. Thank you for your word. Thank you that your word comes with the utmost authority, God, that your scripture, the Bible is your word spoken to us. So Lord, reveal the truth of it to us tonight. Lord, convict our hearts and draw us into your presence.
• 2:16
  It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Alright. We are going to read the entire passage all the way through. You guys ready to follow along?
• 2:25
  Alright. Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, I'm only joking. For lack of wood, the fire goes out, and when there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels that go down into the inner parts of the body.
• 2:51
  Like the glaze covering an earthen vessel are fervent lips with an evil heart. All right. I've got four things for you tonight. Everyone say four things. All right.
• 3:00
  We're going to start. Let's reread this first verse here. Verse 18 says, like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows and death. The first thing I noticed when reading this is that very first word. Everyone say this word.
• 3:10
  That's good. I'm gonna put a little triangle around this. Okay? So like is often a word used in a comparison. Everyone agree?
• 3:17
  You're like, oh, well, that's like this. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 3:20
  I've seen that before. That's like this. So we know right away, we've got a comparison in this verse. So we've got like a madman. So there's our first object.
• 3:30
  So like a madman who does what? A madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death. So clearly, we could see why this man is mad. And then it says, is the man who deceives his neighbor. So what are we comparing the madman to?
• 3:47
  The man who deceives his neighbor. So the man who deceives his neighbor. All right, here's our comparison. And we're saying this. A madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is like the man who deceives his neighbor and says, I am only joking.
• 4:03
  So we're getting a comparison here. We're seeing the two things that they're doing. All right? This is confusing language a little bit. But basically what it is, is it is like a man with a bow and arrow, and he has lit the tip of that arrow on fire, and he is just pretty dangerous to be shooting arrows that have fire on them all over the place.
• 4:26
  Would you agree? Okay. So we get that what the madman doing is dangerous. Yeah? It's dangerous.
• 4:32
  Okay. So we see then that a man who deceives his neighbor is as dangerous Yeah, bear with me on the handwriting. So the man who deceives his neighbor is as dangerous as a madman who shoots fiery darts. A man who deceives his neighbor is like a madman who is shooting fiery darts. The word deceive is basically like another word for fool or lies.
• 5:03
  It's a man who lies to his neighbor, a man who fools his neighbor. That is as dangerous as blindly shooting arrows of fire. Do you guys understand the magnitude of that? So our first principle is really simple. Principle number one is that gossip and deception are dangerous.
• 5:24
  Gossip and deception are dangerous. To deceive someone, to lie to someone, to spread a rumor, to make something up, it's dangerous. I think we can rewind a little bit. We can define the word gossip. Can anyone define the word gossip for me?
• 5:43
  Yes. Okay. Yes. Spreading rumors about someone. Can it just be about someone or could it also be about something?
• 5:52
  It could be about something. Alright? So gossip is essentially making something up or maybe you're not making something up. Maybe you're simply sharing something about someone or about some something. But here's the key, behind their back.
• 6:07
  Or it's news that is not yours to share. Do you understand? Gossip is essentially news that is not yours to share, but you choose to share it anyway. So gossip and deception are dangerous. And here's the key guys.
• 6:20
  This is just a humbling part for this verse. You guys see this phrase, I am only joking. All right. I read this and was immediately convicted by this. Because what I think about when I see this verse is my response every time I say something that is not received as I hoped it would have been.
• 6:36
  Maybe it's because I made a comment about someone almost thinking like, oh, yeah, I'm going make this joke. And the truth behind that joke was really that I wanted people to laugh and think that I'm funny, but what I was actually doing was making a joke at someone's expense. Is that nice? Is that good? Is it is it fair to share something about someone else that is not your news to share?
• 7:03
  No. But you see, the problem is that sometimes we get caught in that and we say, oh, I'm I'm only joking, almost to kinda play it off of like, didn't mean it I didn't mean it to be that way when all all reality, you were just you were caught. You were caught. So I just wanted to highlight this quote here just because it meant a lot to me, and maybe it resonates with you of just, man, like, I'm gonna write the question, how often do I say this? That's all I'm gonna write here.
• 7:40
  I'm actually going to say, how often do I say this when I'm caught? And I'm only joking, almost to cover my bases. Okay. We're moving on. All right.
• 7:56
  We're moving on to the next verse. For lack of wood, the fire goes out. And when there is no whisper, quarreling ceases. Real quick, knowing what we were talking about in this verse, what do you guys think a whisper is basically hinting at? Someone who you guys are geniuses.
• 8:15
  It's good. So I'll just underline that, and we're just gonna write gossip. Alright? So we've got this sentence that says, for lack of wood, the fire goes out, and when there is no whisper, quarreling ceases. In the first verse, what did we have?
• 8:32
  What did that word like signal for us? Yes, a comparison. So in this verse, we also have another comparison. We've got the first object, lack of wood. So lack of wood.
• 8:45
  When there is no wood, what happens? The fire goes out. We've got the fire goes out. Then our next one is when there is no whisper. So what's lacking here?
• 8:55
  No whispering, which is no gossip. So when there is no gossip, what happens? Quarreling ceases. Anyone know what quarreling means? Yes, in the back.
• 9:04
  Yeah, fighting. Conflict. Drama is the word that I'm gonna use. Drama. Alright.
• 9:12
  So lack of wood, the fire goes out. When there is no gossip, the drama ceases. Cool? Alright. Let's keep going.
• 9:24
  Next verse. As charcoal to hot embers. Okay. Just like the word like, the word as does the same thing. A comparison.
• 9:34
  A comparison. Yeah. A simile is definitely one of the ways that that comparison happens. All right. So let's see what we're comparing in this first.
• 9:40
  As charcoal to hot embers so there's our first our first comparison. Charcoal to hot embers and wood to what? Fire. We've seen that one before. So this is now what we're comparing it to.
• 9:58
  Is a what? Coralsome man for kindling strife. Okay, does anyone know what strife means? Exactly, conflict. It is basically two verses in a row saying the same thing.
• 10:17
  We even have a similar comparison. Lack of wood, fire goes out. No gossiping, no drama. Charcoal to hot embers. Charcoal is good for hot embers.
• 10:27
  Great fire. You want to cook on a nice charcoal grill? We like that. Wood to fire is the same. Just as a fire needs wood, so drama need gossip.
• 10:45
  Principle two, really simple. You guys ready for this one? Principle two comes from these verses right here. Principle two, you ready? Gossip keeps drama alive.
• 10:59
  Gossip keeps drama alive. You guys see these truths? Do you see what's happening here? We're reading scripture and you're preaching the sermon. Do you understand that?
• 11:16
  You're preaching the sermon. All I'm doing is help point you in the right direction, help you ask the right questions, but you're telling me what to see. You're telling me what to look for. Like wood is the fire, so is gossip to drama. Boom.
• 11:31
  Principle. Gossip keeps drama alive, just like wood keeps a fire alive. Cool? Can everyone say number three? Number three.
• 11:41
  Let's move on. All right. Next verse. The words of a whisperer. All right.
• 11:46
  What's this word again? Whisperer. We've seen it before. Gossip. All right.
• 11:50
  Let's write it down again. Alright. So the words of a whisperer, the words of gossip are like wait a second. We've seen this word, haven't we? What does that word imply?
• 12:05
  Assimile, comparison. Okay? So the words of a gossiper, the words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels. All right? Has anyone ever used the word morsels before?
• 12:17
  I highly doubt it. You're raising your hand. You guys are far more educated than I am. Okay? Who can tell me what a morsel is?
• 12:24
  Yes. Yes, it's like a small piece of food. For our sake, it could be, yes. It could be like meat left on a bone. I'm going to call it a sweet treat.
• 12:36
  All right, that's what I'm gonna call a morsel. I'm gonna tell you guys a story about a sweet treat real quick. Okay, because it's really relevant here. He's saying the words of a gossip are like delicious morsels. Okay, when I see a sweet treat, what do I wanna do?
• 12:50
  Come on, Come on. Guys, let me let you in on my life real quick. Are you ready? I'm about to get personal. So my wife, Kendall, she's awesome.
• 12:58
  All right. If you ever meet her, if you have met her, if you ever see her, just tell her, hey, I've heard great things about you. All right. Your husband told me to tell you that. Okay.
• 13:06
  Anyways, that's besides the point. So we're doing this thing right now where we're trying not to eat dessert. All right. And it is terrible. Dessert is like my kryptonite.
• 13:13
  Okay. I am Superman when I have my dessert. So right now I'm feeling pretty weak. Okay. Here's how this works.
• 13:18
  You see dessert and you say no to it. It's that simple. Right? So some of you guys may have heard that we have a pastor who's been serving on this church here for forty years, Mark Wybel, and he's retiring after forty faithful years. So we threw this party for him last week.
• 13:33
  Alright? And you know what they had at this party? Cookies and brownies. In fact, giant cookie cakes decorated like basketballs. And you know what a cookie cake is?
• 13:43
  A sweet treat. It's like a delicious morsel, I'll tell you what. Sweet treat. It get this no. It gets worse, guys.
• 13:48
  It gets worse. Some of this you know, I'm here. I can't have it. Now I'm going to work. I'm at work later this week, and I walk by our break room, which is like a kitchen.
• 13:55
  And guess what I see on the table? Cookie Cookie Not one, not two, but three of them. And I have to walk by these and just go to my office and work? Bruh. Bruh.
• 14:08
  Hey. Hey. Look. Here's the point. Here's the point.
• 14:14
  When I see a sweet treat, when I see a cookie cake, I am tempted to eat that cookie cake. And here is the truth of this proverb. They're saying that gossip, words of gossip are just as tempting as enjoying a cookie cake. Words of gossip are just as tempting as enjoying a cookie cake, but then they go down into the inner parts of the body. This is principle number three.
• 14:36
  Gossip feels good in the moment, but ultimately, it poisons us. Gossip feels good in the moment, but ultimately it poisons us. All right? Look, cookie cake, delicious in the moment. If I don't limit myself, I am going to get sick from too much sugar.
• 14:58
  Some of you guys have been there. We don't need to name names. You know who you are. You eat too much cookie cake, you get too much of that icing, it's bad for you in the long run. Hey, don't miss this.
• 15:09
  Gossip is tempting at first, but ultimately it poisons us. Okay? All right, everyone. Say number four. All right, our last verse.
• 15:20
  You ready? Like the glaze covering an earthen wait a second. You guys kept you let me keep reading. Triangle. Come on.
• 15:30
  Like. Well, that means we have a simile. You guys are locking in on simile over comparison. I love it. That's great.
• 15:37
  All right. So like the glaze covering an earthen vessel are, so we're comparing that to fervent lips within evil hearts. All right. How many of guys have walked through our lobby recently in the front of the Highland, in front of the Life Center? We have these new concrete floors.
• 15:57
  Everyone say, oh, ah. That's good. Here's the deal, guys. You know why those concrete floors are oh and ah? It's because we put a nice glossy seal over them.
• 16:09
  Yeah. Oh, ah. Jackson got it. Why didn't why don't you guys oh, ah? I'm gonna I'm gonna do it again.
• 16:15
  We put a nice glossy seal over them. That's right. Alright. So that's what this verse is saying. Alright.
• 16:25
  Like glaze covering an earthen vessel. It's basically saying, hey, when you have clay, clay left alone is like a rough, not so pretty thing. So we put a glossy seal over it to make it appear nicer than it actually is. All right. So that's what they're saying here.
• 16:39
  Principle number four, gossip comes from a heart problem. All right? It's saying here, hey, we put glaze covering an earthen vessel in the same way fervent lips with an evil heart. It's saying that sometimes we use our words to cover up what's actually true on the inside. You hear what I'm saying?
• 16:58
  Sometimes we gossip, sometimes we share other people's news because we're trying to appear better on the outside than what's actually going on in our heart. Because gossip comes from a heart problem. And here's what's true about every single one of us, guys. Look up at me. You might be hearing this message, studying this passage, and thinking like, Ryan, I hear you.
• 17:20
  I see what you're saying. I don't struggle with gossip. And maybe that's true. And if that's you, that's awesome. But here's what you struggle with, just like me and every other single person in this room, is you have a heart problem.
• 17:32
  You have a heart problem. In this case, gossip is the sign of that heart problem. In other cases, it might be lying. It might be lust. It might be pride.
• 17:42
  It can be all sorts of different things. The truth is that all of us have a heart problem. And I love that Eva kicked off the night. Because Eva shared the truth. Eva shared the solution to that heart problem.
• 17:54
  And the solution is Jesus. The truth is to acknowledge that, man, we have a heart problem, God doesn't leave us in that heart problem. God doesn't leave us stuck in gossip. If you struggle with gossip, that's okay because God's not gonna leave you there. God's gonna help you be transformed through Christ.
• 18:10
  He sees that problem and he says, hey, I love you. And because sin is existing, because you have a broken heart, because you have a sin problem, because you lack a relationship with me, I'm gonna send my son to live a perfect life, to give his life on the cross, to be raised to life three days later so that you and I can have a relationship. And I can dwell in you with my spirit and transform your life. You may struggle with gossip now, but I tell you in Christ, you will struggle with gossip no more. That's what God says to you.
• 18:36
  And he doesn't say that you're gonna be perfect. What he says is that my strength will now strengthen you. And that if you do gossip, it's okay because you can repent of that. You can confess it, ask for forgiveness, and be transformed. Just because gossip is a sign of a heart problem doesn't mean that there's not a solution to that problem.
• 18:57
  Jesus is that solution. So here's my challenge for you guys. Turn your paper over. Here's my challenge for you guys. You guys ready for this?
• 19:07
  Walk in. This is going be so cool. Are you ready? All right. I need to count down.
• 19:12
  Right. From three. Walk. All right. Great energy.
• 19:22
  All right. We're going to read this one together. This is Proverbs eighteen twenty one. We're going to read it out loud. You ready?
• 19:27
  One, two, three. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Okay. So here's the last thing I want to close with. It's going to be on the screen, is a question for you.
• 19:46
  All right, we all have a heart problem. There's a temptation for any of us to gossip, but the question is this, when it comes to our words, we have a choice. We have a choice. Do you want to produce life or death? Look, I'd love to give you a perfect recipe.
• 20:01
  Hey, if you do these three things, you're going to stop gossiping. You're never going to share things that you shouldn't share. You're never going to lie. You're never going to deceive. I can't give that to you.
• 20:10
  I can give you the solution that says gossip doesn't have power over your life anymore, and that solution is Jesus. But I can also tell you that in Christ, the very spirit of the living God dwells in you and empowers you to make this choice. So when you go to school this week, when you go to your family, when you go to your siblings, when you go to your small groups, you have a choice with every single word you say. And that choice is, do I want to produce life or death with my words? And guys, the only person that can make that choice is you.
• 20:42
  So let's pray. Lord, thank you for tonight. God, thank you that you don't just see a problem in our lives and leave us in that problem, but God, you offer the solution in Christ. And then you give us your spirit so that we can continue to seek to live like him. Lord, that you would mold us into your image, that you would empower us to live differently, to live like Christ in this world, Lord.
• 21:03
  And thank you that all of that is true, not because we did anything, God, but because you love us. Lord, that at the very core of everything you've done for us and every opportunity we have to live for you and to honor you with our words all comes because you love us. So Lord, help us to live differently. Help us to use our words to speak life and not death. It's in Jesus' precious name that we ask these things.
• 21:28
  Amen.