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Christmas Song Composers · Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Artists on Artists on Artists on artists.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: The Holidays this holiday season are artists brought a roundtable
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: full of your favorite writers of holiday songs, from Up on.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The Rooftop to Santa Baby.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: All of your favorite Christmas songs wouldn't be the same
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: without the people who wrote them.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: The Holidays bring a lot of traditions, and one of
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: the biggest traditions are the songs that start beginning to
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: play as early as November first on the radio. Yes,
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: what would your favorite holiday traditions and celebrations be without
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: that soundtrack that brings so much for you to enjoy?
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: Emphasis on joy.
• 0:48
  Speaker 5: So let's sit back, relax, jingle up, and listen in.
• 0:53
  Speaker 5: We're talking to Christmas songwriters.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Christmas everybody.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: It's the holiday season.
• 1:09
  Speaker 6: The Big Man brought me this. You guys have pressience
• 1:11
  Speaker 6: this year, my presence this year. This is exactly what
• 1:16
  Speaker 6: I've been wishing for. Oh yeah, some people to talk
• 1:18
  Speaker 6: about writing songs with. This is really.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Really do isn't the same thing?
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: This is actually awesome.
• 1:24
  Speaker 6: This is really fun stuff.
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, this is so fun. This is so fun.
• 1:32
  Speaker 6: I think I saw you guys in Palm Springs in July, right,
• 1:35
  Speaker 6: But of course, what I realized we were all the
• 1:37
  Speaker 6: same party in Palm Springs in July. In July, yes,
• 1:41
  Speaker 6: but I didn't realize that we were all singer and
• 1:44
  Speaker 6: Christmas songwriters. Then it was Christmas July party, but we
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: obviously don't talk about this kind of stuff.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Was Christmas time, no, if we were there at that
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: was a Spotify present Christmas in July. So there was
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: lots of industry there, and I bet we were all
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: kind of busy networking in our own way. So it's
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: kind of tough to talk Christmas.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, should we go around, but let's do that.
• 2:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah, to talk to you guys again, Who was to start?
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: I'm Bebe you do? Go ahead? No, I think you
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: do is what I was gonna say. You stole the snowfall?
• 2:24
  Speaker 6: Okay, what love?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, I'll start.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: My name is Bbe Jingles, and I write all the
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: sexy Christmas songs that pop stars sing when they want
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: to go Christmas for a quick cash grab anything. Ariana Grunde,
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: some of Maria Carrey, some of Michael Boublay. I've worked
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: with because as we all know, his Christmas album is
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: horny that would be described as horny Christmas.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: So tell Santa Tell Me by Arianna Grande. I believe
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: is the Mona Lisa of two thousand and it's sad.
• 3:00
  Speaker 6: It's quite a Bob Dowling, quite a Bobby did a
• 3:03
  Speaker 6: great job on that one, Darlin.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: And I and I just try and uh integrate, you know,
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: the the this sexy feelings we feel of being warm
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: near a fireplace and a stocking into my work. And
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: I've always been super turned on by Christmas. And I'm
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: glad that I can finally turn that into money.
• 3:25
  Speaker 7: Ha.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: So nice to be here.
• 3:32
  Speaker 6: Ah wow, well you should go go ahead, go mister
• 3:36
  Speaker 6: Jack Nicholson over there. Whatever you meant, Jack, yea, what
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: is up?
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: I am Bobby Chester Pear and I wrote one song
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: and one song only.
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: It is what we call the Twelve.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Days of Christmas. Yes, I wrote that one song twenty
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: five years ago.
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: Have been writing ninety eight.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I also say, while we'd correcting date, Santa Telby was
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: somewhere nefinitely not two thousand and six.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Ahead, Hey guys, time is the time is of the
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: past and the future. Bobby Chester pair twelve Days of Christmas.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe in the sixties, maybe in the seventies, maybe in
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: the eighties. I don't care. I'm high as a bird
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: right now. Merry, Merry Christmas. I wrote that one song,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: and I've been writing a high ever since.
• 4:31
  Speaker 6: Well, Bobby Chester, pair, you do have a lot to
• 4:33
  Speaker 6: be thankful for, because that really has been used every
• 4:37
  Speaker 6: single Christmas. And I'll tell you a lot. What's fun
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: about that song is when it comes on, you go,
• 4:40
  Speaker 6: oh my god, we gotta hear this twelve times. Oh yeah,
• 4:44
  Speaker 6: it's really interesting. It's by far the longest, not not
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: by counting, not by time, but the longest feeling Christmas
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: song that's ever been written. Oh yeah.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: I smoked the biggest doobie I've ever seen in my
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: entire life, and the song just poured out of me.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I've never done a press interview where I've explained what
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: the song means, and I never will. Aha.
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: All right, all right, well, greetings, everybody, Greetings. My name
• 5:09
  Speaker 6: is Denny Fielder. I am, of course, somebody responsible for
• 5:14
  Speaker 6: writing Christmas songs way way long ago. You guys were
• 5:17
  Speaker 6: probably a little jingle bell in your daddy's balls at
• 5:20
  Speaker 6: some point. Sorry to be crude, but I was, of
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: course that I've been writing since the forties and fifties.
• 5:28
  Speaker 6: I've been writing songs over and over and over. I
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: was known as the guy who began to add different
• 5:34
  Speaker 6: details about Santa Claus early on. You know, I wrote
• 5:37
  Speaker 6: The Man with the Bag, I wrote a book, I
• 5:40
  Speaker 6: love that track, that Guy in My Chimney. You know,
• 5:42
  Speaker 6: I was the guy who said, well, what if we
• 5:44
  Speaker 6: don't call him Santa? Well what if we relate to
• 5:46
  Speaker 6: him in different ways? And I started changing up and
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: they're fixing things around him, and so that was it.
• 5:52
  Speaker 6: I was. I was friends with being, I was friends
• 5:54
  Speaker 6: with Frank.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Aren't you the one who officially made him Saint hood
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: You gave him a sainthood.
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well I made Saint Nick. Yeah. So when I
• 6:02
  Speaker 6: started writing songs in the forties and fifties, Saint Nick
• 6:06
  Speaker 6: was not saint. He was just a guy named Nick.
• 6:09
  Speaker 6: And that was a song that someone wrote named a
• 6:11
  Speaker 6: guy named Nick, and then we called them. Actually, Saint
• 6:14
  Speaker 6: was added to fill the rhythm of something to Somebody
• 6:17
  Speaker 6: wrote a song called Jolly Old Nicholas and it didn't
• 6:20
  Speaker 6: quite fit. So we said, we need a little we
• 6:23
  Speaker 6: need to add a quarter beat in there, and I said,
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: what about a saint and that's how it goes. I
• 6:28
  Speaker 6: don't think that's how it works in the church. A
• 6:32
  Speaker 6: song said joke I've told a thousand times. I think.
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: Can I just say thank you so much for what
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: you've done for rhymes, because I could speak for everybody
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: in this room. I think we'd be so annoyed if
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: we had the only rhyme with the freeze Santa Claus.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: But now that we have so many other options thanks
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: to you, thanks to Saint Nick Man with the bag,
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: the big fella himself, oh stuff like that. It makes
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: it so much easier expand the horizons of what we
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: can do.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: My faith.
• 7:03
  Speaker 6: Lap Man lap Man, Yeah, lap Man came about a
• 7:07
  Speaker 6: post World War two and that was a new way
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: we were talking.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I've used a lot of lap Man.
• 7:13
  Speaker 6: Lat Man is really good. We have a lot of
• 7:15
  Speaker 6: really really really good uh substitutions for Saint Nick. So
• 7:20
  Speaker 6: if you want to call me and get a couple suggestions,
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: I'll give you, guys my Jitterbug number because it's you're
• 7:25
  Speaker 6: really gonna want to call me. I can't call you, unfortunately,
• 7:28
  Speaker 6: because my phone doesn't have phone digits. But you can
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: call me, I'll pick up.
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: I love this because I always thought, you know, this
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: is so dumb of me, because I always thought Saint
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: Nicholas came before Santa Claus. I always thought it was
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: a thing based. Did you know Europe team like Saint
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: Nicholas is the patron saint of gifts. There's a whole thing.
• 7:48
  Speaker 5: But Santa Claus came first. That's insane. You're the one
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: that made him a saint.
• 7:53
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Some people try to trace Saint Nicholas back to Egypt. Actually,
• 7:56
  Speaker 6: and those people are liars and wrong, so I wouldn't
• 7:59
  Speaker 6: listen to them.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: You got to be careful. How many liars there are
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: in Christmas.
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: In Christmas world?
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: Yeah, the.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Liars, uh systematically and yeah with and and uh without
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: and with an iron fist. Who approaches on our bag
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: has to be silenced. You said it, the man with
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: the bag, In which case, I welcome all feedback from
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: the one and only Xanta.
• 8:29
  Speaker 6: Claus man with a bag, boot, Nikki buckle belt, Bobby.
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: You want all the names, I'll tell them to you
• 8:36
  Speaker 6: if you want.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Oh, amen to that too, Turtle doves.
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: All right, well I'll go hi, everybody. My name is
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: Deshaun through the halls and I am. I am a
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: Christmas songwriter. But my genre specifically is the songs little
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: boys sing. Well, that's kind of my genre I am.
• 8:58
  Speaker 5: I've kind of cornered the mark get in that in
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: that regard. You know, when you think about Christmas, you
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: think of a many difference. So like you think about
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: the sexy songs, you think about the old Rout and
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: Tutin Frank Sinatra songs, you think about the Saint Nick,
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: Santa Claus bag Man, and the big category that's overlooked
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: a lot is the songs little boys sing somberly well,
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: and that is my bread and butter, that is my
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: biscuit and tea. That is what I love to dive into.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: I love when little girls sing it. I love it
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: so much. I'm not trying to be gender phobic here
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: at all. I just purposely write them for little boys.
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: I get it.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: One does it better?
• 9:34
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: I don't want to get canceled on Twitter again. I
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: do not want to get canceled on Twitter again.
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: Well, can you name a couple of songs you're thinking of,
• 9:43
  Speaker 6: because you know, Silent Night's a little older than what
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: you're talking about for little boys no, no, no, So
• 9:50
  Speaker 6: this is where you get you.
• 9:51
  Speaker 5: You're mistaken because silent that used to be sung by
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: older women, and I was the person that changed it
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: to little boys. Hate Hell hates you, faith Hill hates me.
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: Absolutely cannot stand each other. I'm talking about Christmas Time.
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: Is here?
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Christmas Time?
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: The Charlie Brown ones. Yes, I love that one.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Did you write little Drummer Boy?
• 10:15
  Speaker 5: I yes, I wrote little Drummer Boy. Uh so, yeah,
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: so I've got a.
• 10:20
  Speaker 6: Hold on a minute. Did you write Christmas Shoes?
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: I wrote Christmas Shoes?
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: I wrote because the guys who sing that are actually
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: really old, but I could definitely see that being kids.
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: Yes, so it's better with kids. Let me just tell
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: you that much. It's so much better with kids.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: This is crazy.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: You know there is the kid part. I'm sorry, ignore me.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I'm having one of my crazy BB moments.
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: Oh no, here she goes again.
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: Crazy. I used I used to subscribe to your Periscope channel.
• 10:49
  Speaker 6: I used to watch all your crazy BB moments.
• 10:52
  Speaker 5: I love your Instagram Live. I love it.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: I used to watch you on o'bagel.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I love going on Instagram Live.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I think that the greatest innovation of the twenty first
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: century is Instagram Live because it's such Nowhere else can
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: I broadcast my crazy bb moments, which I call bbbbe's
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: loco time, to the world quickly and efficiently. Normally I'd
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: have to burn it onto a VHS tape and mail
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: it to everyone I can think of.
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: But yeah, that is another BBBB loco thing. You thinking
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: that the only other medium is VHS, burning it and
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: sitting to everybody.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I love you by school everything.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: Every music sounds better on VHS?
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Oh it does? It does?
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: I feel?
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: I feel a little insecure, and Bobby Chester Pair never
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: feels insecure. It feels like each of your songbooks is huge. Meanwhile,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: my songbook is one.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, but yours is the best? Can we can? I
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: ask how much money have you made?
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I have made up to fifteen million dollars off of
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: myself up to over never over, only.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: To careful legal language you just used.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I coached, believe it or not. I get myself in
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: a couple of mistakes here and now.
• 12:12
  Speaker 6: Yes, I understand that. You know. I wonder why what
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: everyone how they got into the Christmas music business because
• 12:19
  Speaker 6: it's so specific. Really, you know, this is a very
• 12:23
  Speaker 6: small group of people.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: And it's really horrific and exclusive as those cats over
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: there at Halloween poach those cats. It's hard to get
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: over there.
• 12:32
  Speaker 6: I tell you, I've met Halloween Thought once and I
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: wanted to run out of the room. Those guys are unbearable,
• 12:37
  Speaker 6: but they.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: Are freaky, but it's hard.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, how many of us are there, I'd say
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: about up to fifteen.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the major.
• 12:49
  Speaker 6: Yeah, major players. There's always young guns. I mean, you know,
• 12:53
  Speaker 6: it's it's a small town. And of course we're referring
• 12:55
  Speaker 6: to a specific town which all of us have property in, right.
• 12:59
  Speaker 6: We all the town the industry of Christmas music and
• 13:01
  Speaker 6: of course Burlington, Vermont. That's where we all write our music.
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: That's where we write it. That's our main producer. Well,
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: one of the best music of producers on the technical
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: side is out of Burlington. So we all turned to
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: Johnny Christmas. He is amazing at what he does.
• 13:17
  Speaker 6: You know, Johnny, I should.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Check out the Austin scene. I hear they're recording a
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: lot in Austin because.
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they're a little more alts, A big yeah. I
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: think what was it Tommy, Tommy pine Cone moved down
• 13:30
  Speaker 5: there and started a whole alt scene of Christmas music
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: down there.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: I know that every other day someone comes up to
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: me and says, actually, Austin's get actually.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: Kind of blowing up right now, and I just have
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: to believe them.
• 13:41
  Speaker 6: Can I be honest with you, I'll hear that I've
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: been hearing Austin's coming up for about twenty years. And
• 13:46
  Speaker 6: I make sure you wonder from how far down is
• 13:48
  Speaker 6: Austin coming up? It's surely not up, but continuing to
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: come up, come up, you know.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I just want to know when.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: I just want to know an et of when Austin
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: is going to come up, Yeah, because I'll believe it
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: when I see it.
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: We'll keep an eye on for sure. Johnny Christmas. I
• 14:08
  Speaker 6: have known Johnny Christmas. He was four years old when
• 14:10
  Speaker 6: I started working with him in nineteen.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: I mean, Dad, you're one of the greats I know.
• 14:15
  Speaker 6: Please please Were you working.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: With Johnny Christmas when he was how old was?
• 14:20
  Speaker 7: So?
• 14:20
  Speaker 6: He was forty years old when I started working with
• 14:22
  Speaker 6: him in nineteen thirty five. He's an old man and
• 14:25
  Speaker 6: I think he has magic in his bones. And you
• 14:28
  Speaker 6: know it's fun playing you know, you record all of
• 14:31
  Speaker 6: her music on a Christmas tree farm right outside of Burlington,
• 14:34
  Speaker 6: and he has so many bells. You can't even enter
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: his door without setting off a whole ring of bells.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Notice recording studios I have ever been in, it is
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: so hard.
• 14:45
  Speaker 5: To get because there's bells everywhere.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Can I do my impression of it really quickly?
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Can I get my impression?
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: Secure him?
• 14:54
  Speaker 5: Be sure him times? You know?
• 14:58
  Speaker 8: Sometimes I actual leave the bells in.
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: It's classic Johnny Christmas will. There's so many songs. Every
• 15:10
  Speaker 5: song that has bells is usually an accident. We never
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: intended for bells to be in there, and Johnny Christmas
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: works his magic.
• 15:16
  Speaker 6: A lunch bells. You know, here's another impression of Johnny Christmas. Oh,
• 15:21
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna sd this right to Shanta. Remember he always
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: shows that to me.
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: When Boebe Baby really wasn't bad, I just feel like
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: we all say that stuff.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: Competition.
• 15:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah, well Bbe is a legitimate I shall beat the
• 15:39
  Speaker 6: On America's Talent, that's one of my favorite shows. I
• 15:41
  Speaker 6: saw her do her impression song. It didn't even talk
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: about a Christmas song.
• 15:44
  Speaker 9: Right.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: I was the youngest impressionist on America's Got Talent, and
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: you were about thirty.
• 15:52
  Speaker 6: You got Terry Crews as Golden Buzzer. It was I
• 15:54
  Speaker 6: was really yeah.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: I was thirty years old and I was doing all
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: the greats. I was doing Dick Cheney, I was doing Georgie.
• 16:03
  Speaker 10: Little Dick could do a little Diaby skewer him, Baby,
• 16:06
  Speaker 10: skewer him.
• 16:07
  Speaker 8: You know, I got a gun in my parents perfect perfect.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: It's crazy. It's crazy, BB, because you're one of the
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: best impressions yet. You could write sex appeal in a
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: jingle so so well, and those two things are so
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: opposite to me.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: And thank you so much, and I really appreciate that.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: And I and just to answer Denny's question of how
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: we got into this, like, I think that it's been
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: in my bones for a long time because I've talked
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: about this on podcasts and interviews before. But I lost
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: my virginity on Christmas Eve. From the minute of eleven
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: fifty nine point fifty nine on Christmas Eve to twelve
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: oh one on Christmas Day, I haven't a checked on you.
• 16:52
  Speaker 6: No one should have to go through that, baby, and
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: I'm sure you have to.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: Go through that. No, but it really lighted a fire
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: in me and I realized I was looking around at
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: these Christmas trees and my partner, and I realized like, oh,
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: this has created a Pavlov's dog thing response in me,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: where these two things are inexplicably connected, and I could
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: never un separate sex from Christmas. They are interwoven. And
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: so I was doing music. I was doing sort of
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: like Taylor Swift stuff. I thought I was gonna be famous.
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: Oh I loved your singer songwriter. Come on, I was
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: a fan of it. I've been a fan of you
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: for so long before the impressions on America.
• 17:35
  Speaker 7: Of course, had my.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: EP which was running around the back door, He's my boyfriend.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Oh so simple, such a simple tune.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: Right around an actor, he's my boyfriend, he's my boyfriend,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: Gonna put him in the house.
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: And it was so not sexy. It was running around because.
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: I was a virgin. I was still a virgin. I
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: was still a virgin, and so that's why it sounded
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: like that. But then, of course, like after Christmas and
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: after I lost my virginity, I went a different direction
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: with my music, and I at first I was unrefined.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: I came out with a single called Santa's Got a
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: brand new bag full of comees and.
• 18:20
  Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, left little subject didn't your.
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Career era, and it took a while to sort of
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: rein it in into something that could be commercially packaged
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: and repurposed for pop charts.
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: And so he ended up singing that.
• 18:36
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: It was Jason Derula that jumped on much.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: His management has tried to bury it. No one can
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: deny that I have those original recordings of Jason Derulo
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: on VHS singing Jason Derulo, Santa's got a brand new
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: bag full of covenes.
• 18:53
  Speaker 6: You know what I will say. I loved your music.
• 18:55
  Speaker 6: There's a there's a current song that is is number
• 18:58
  Speaker 6: one on the charts. I think kit you're singing it.
• 19:00
  Speaker 6: It's Santa Zaddy, right, Is there's something that you did
• 19:03
  Speaker 6: called Santa Zaddy?
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 19:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, Santo ZADDI, Uh, save the X and put
• 19:13
  Speaker 6: a little gap for me. Isn't that what the phrase is?
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 19:17
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't know.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: And to be honest, I consulted with my cousin. She
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: is Jen Alpha, and I'm terrified of her. But uh,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: only god, I just got a notification. I'm so sorry. Okay, no,
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I got so distracted that that was crazy.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: George Clooney wants to do sexy Christmas and he said
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: he wants it to be gross.
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: So wow, this isbe this. You got to go on
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: Instagram live for this time.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know he was a vocalist.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: And I didn't either.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: So after we do this, I'm gonna have to hop
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: on and address that because that's crazy. But how you
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: guys get started?
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: I would love to know.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Sorry, Dashing, please, I mean, you're a legend, Dash, and you're.
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: A fucking well yeah, so thank you. Yeah, I got started.
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: It was really fun. I had a little cousin. Speaking
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: of cousins, I had a little cousin. Speaking speaking of cousins,
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: I had a little cousin. And they were so cute
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: and so fun. I thought, this is my sister's son.
• 20:22
  Speaker 5: This is my sister's son. One day they're running around
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: the house just yell and yell and yell, and I go,
• 20:26
  Speaker 5: make him your nephew. Yes, but I like to call
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: him my cousin, if that's all right? Is that all
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: right with you?
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: That feels like it has nothing to do with me,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: so I.
• 20:37
  Speaker 6: Won't say Dash, And we just talked about how much
• 20:39
  Speaker 6: we hate liars. So you.
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: Cousin cousin in my family, Cousins mean a lot of things,
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: so that's that's just me. Cousin can be your everything,
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: Cousin can be your wife, Cousin could be your husband.
• 20:53
  Speaker 5: Cousin be whatever you want. So I have this little
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: i'll call him my nephew running around the house, and
• 20:59
  Speaker 5: I go, if I gave a little tune to sing,
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: what if I immediately this boy freezes in place. Start
• 21:05
  Speaker 5: seeing this tune. It's so somber, it's so sad. I go, yes,
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: this has to be about Christmas. And that's kind of
• 21:11
  Speaker 5: how I fell into it. It was pretty easy from there.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Do you remember the tune?
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: Yes, it was a little jingle I gave him called
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: It was called Wreathes a Plenty, and it went, yes.
• 21:26
  Speaker 7: Breathe a plenty on an empty Christmas time, snyone alone,
• 21:38
  Speaker 7: Christmas Time.
• 21:46
  Speaker 6: Spooky all the way.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Around as because everything sounds like it was sung by
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: a doll.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, all it needed was some counting, and you guys
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: will not believe.
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: Actually, the money I get is usually from horror film
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: trailers using my my songs. Oh yeah, as an edit
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: of something spooky.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: This makes sense.
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: That's actually where the big lucradation comes from for me.
• 22:11
  Speaker 6: So yeah, that's the creation. Huhdation.
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: I'm telling you. I get about up to a million,
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: the big lucation.
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: Love it, the big lucredation coming to town, having.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: A ton with the department stores. It's a great, big.
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: The gradation nation.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: Rise up, it's Christmas, gettle horny and go to the couch.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, we're well, we'll table this for later.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: I love it right.
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: Well. My story is a classic story. I had a crossroads.
• 22:46
  Speaker 6: I was sixteen years old. I could either join the
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: navy or join an apprenticeship for Johnny Christmas.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: Those two options, isn't it.
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, So that was that was it was. It was
• 22:57
  Speaker 6: nineteen it was nineteen thirty five. The baby was just
• 23:00
  Speaker 6: kind of getting going.
• 23:03
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, nineteen thirty five, right when the Navy started.
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: Nineteen thirty two, right, we didn't know what it was
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: at that point.
• 23:10
  Speaker 6: It was just something to do. So nobody kind of
• 23:12
  Speaker 6: knew what it was about. You heard water, you heard
• 23:15
  Speaker 6: both said, that's kind of interesting. Oh, this is the
• 23:17
  Speaker 6: government starting this, this is the military. That's interesting. That's
• 23:21
  Speaker 6: the kind of stuff that was going on over there.
• 23:23
  Speaker 6: So it wasn't a big deal. We weren't in a
• 23:24
  Speaker 6: war or anything. It wasn't a big issue, so you
• 23:28
  Speaker 6: could choose there, you could choose an apprenticeship. You know.
• 23:31
  Speaker 6: I was one of seven boys, you know, we were septuplets.
• 23:35
  Speaker 6: We all know exactly the same in every way. So
• 23:38
  Speaker 6: I was trying to figure out a way to stand out.
• 23:40
  Speaker 6: And Christmas was a little different back then, you know,
• 23:43
  Speaker 6: Christmas it wasn't as exciting, and there weren't as many songs.
• 23:46
  Speaker 6: It was mostly silent when we would sit around. Silent
• 23:49
  Speaker 6: Night was a song written about how quiet everything was.
• 23:52
  Speaker 6: But the conuntrym is once the song was written, nothing's
• 23:55
  Speaker 6: quiet anymore. But it was written inspired by how quiet
• 23:58
  Speaker 6: everything was. So I started a friend to saying if
• 24:01
  Speaker 6: so facto, I was in Reno and having a bit
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: of a bender. Who knew who was next to me?
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: But of course Perry Como and Perry Como, Perry Como, no,
• 24:16
  Speaker 6: not very cuomo. Perry Koma is not a person. Perry
• 24:20
  Speaker 6: Como is and you should be excited to hear about it,
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: because she's very interesting. And he had a lot of
• 24:24
  Speaker 6: good songs. And we were having some cocaine and we said,
• 24:28
  Speaker 6: it looks like it's going to be a white Christmas.
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: I said, wait to say that again. We're just having
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: a nice little bit of cocaine. It turns out White
• 24:35
  Speaker 6: Christmas is about cocaine. Yeah, so it was really Yeah,
• 24:39
  Speaker 6: that's a little secret, really a little secret. But since then,
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: I've been having a lucrative time, you know, just writing songs.
• 24:47
  Speaker 6: I have a wonderful time. It's been really exciting to
• 24:49
  Speaker 6: see everybody else come up as well and have a
• 24:52
  Speaker 6: lot of fun writing in the Christmas Spirit because really,
• 24:56
  Speaker 6: back then, you know, the Christmas Spirit was a spooky ghost.
• 24:59
  Speaker 6: So it's very different now. Hmm.
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: Wow, that's really interesting. I love hearing about the history
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: of that. That was really really interesting.
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: You don't have to keep shaying it. If it wasn't
• 25:09
  Speaker 6: it was really interesting. You don't have to.
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: It was one of the most interesting things. I loved it.
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: Listen, your generation does not have any respect for history anymore.
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: Can I talk about Harry, don't give a ship you
• 25:20
  Speaker 6: guys about what in the past. No, Perry Como, you
• 25:23
  Speaker 6: guys don't give a shot about the past. I heard,
• 25:28
  Speaker 6: I heard, and you heard, and just shout Andrew, I
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: heard it.
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: You cannot deny it.
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: I heard it. I'm gonna write you. I'm going to
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: write it about you. Guys.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Moment please, why don't we have a silent moment?
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: Okay, if I could get a little boy singing that,
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: that would be perfect. Okay, go ahead.
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: You love little boys.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: I love their voices. I love their voices.
• 25:52
  Speaker 7: I read.
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: Down cancer.
• 25:57
  Speaker 6: I right for men. By the way, that's that's interesting.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: So women can't sing your songs or.
• 26:07
  Speaker 7: What do you mean?
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: Women can try, and I respect them. It's kind of
• 26:10
  Speaker 6: a slot in the Stone style. If they try and
• 26:12
  Speaker 6: it works, they're queens.
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: How do you get started?
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: Oh well, I think everyone knows my story. And if
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: you don't wake up, I am. I'm Johnny Christmas Tree
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: is drug dealer. There's no secret about that.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Oh that's new.
• 26:34
  Speaker 11: And I got the studio every day delivering drugs to
• 26:40
  Speaker 11: Johnny Christmas Tree. I have a gemstone a gemstone farm
• 26:46
  Speaker 11: where I grow gemstones and I smoke ah.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: And like solid physical crystals.
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: Crystals grow cristals.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I grow them from the ground.
• 26:58
  Speaker 11: And one day Johnny and I were in the studio
• 27:01
  Speaker 11: late Mariah Carrey had just left, and we were smoking
• 27:06
  Speaker 11: some rose quarts and all of a sudden we saw
• 27:08
  Speaker 11: all these partridge and a pear trees jump and I said, whoa, whoa,
• 27:15
  Speaker 11: look at all these partridges in a pear tree.
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: So there was more than one, and there was more
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: than one.
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: In a pear trees. My fair son look at them all,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: and I said, look at these five gold rings sun
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: And I said, row that, Mike, get that mic rolling.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: There are two turtle doves in here. And then all
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: of a sudden we laid down a track. I didn't
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: remember anything. The next morning I went back to growing gemstones.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: And then suddenly Johnny Christmas Tree laid out that song.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I didn't know he did it without my permission. And
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: the next day I got a check for fifteen grand
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: and Christmas Tree said, you're on the charts, the Christmas charts.
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: Of course we were okay, we.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Were charting at number fifteen, snowflake.
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: And I said, what I've got, I've definitely got some questions.
• 28:15
  Speaker 11: And you know what, I recognized the fact that I
• 28:17
  Speaker 11: opened this interview saying I wouldn't tell this story.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I'm telling it because you know what, I'm sick of this.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: I heard Danny. He says, you write music for men
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: and dashing you write music for little boys and baby,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: you write music for sluts, And you know what, I
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: wrote music for everyone. I wrote one song for everybody
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: that brings everybody together.
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: I don't know whether to dive in because I think
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: it's gonna piss you off.
• 28:45
  Speaker 7: This thing.
• 28:47
  Speaker 5: I'm just, I just My first instinct is you see
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: a bunch of partridges in a tree, you think you
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: first think he is not. Oh, there's a bunch of partridges.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: It's five golden rings. And also the song notoriously says
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: and as single partridge in a peartree.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: Well, that's my creative take on it. Bitch.
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I know I trigger youdges, but I.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Said let's do one. I saw one lord's a leaping,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: but I said let's take ten lords of leaping in
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: the song. There's a difference between the artist and the song.
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: Okay, Now, as a slut, I'm rather interested in the
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: eight Maids of Milk Cake.
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't call you. I didn't call you a slut.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I said you're artists are sluts.
• 29:30
  Speaker 6: Maybe that was all. I was also interested in the
• 29:32
  Speaker 6: Maids of Milking. So I'm really happy with united. I
• 29:34
  Speaker 6: think we all are.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: I didn't to wear that keating prom and I would
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: just like to know if you knew them, or what
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: you were doing or what was going on.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes when you're on a drunken night, you
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: black out and some things you remember, some things you
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: don't maids of milk.
• 29:49
  Speaker 6: And I don't remember. That's convenient, isn't it convenient?
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: You remember a lord jumping, but you don't remember maid's milking.
• 29:58
  Speaker 6: You guys are.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: Christmas song writers. You when you're in the studio and
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: you get a couple of prostitutes in there, a couple
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: of nights, a couple hours.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: In there, well, I call them sex workers.
• 30:07
  Speaker 6: But yes, yes, I also call them sex workers.
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: Believe it or not, I will go on record and
• 30:12
  Speaker 5: say I call them sex workers.
• 30:14
  Speaker 6: I've been calling them sex workers since nineteen fifty three.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: Wow, before they asked you to Yeah right, the Air
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: Force started.
• 30:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah, same name as Junior called me a pussy forward.
• 30:25
  Speaker 6: But I stucked.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: I spoke too much not to move on.
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: But I have been dying to ask a question from
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: the beginning. And I want to know the songs that
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: never quite made the cut, or if you guys have
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: any new releases that you're excited about. I would love
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: to hear all about the new releases. But I've just
• 30:47
  Speaker 5: been dying because this is a room of such talent
• 30:51
  Speaker 5: and skill and prespitation, and I think it's great that
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: we can move forward and find out what songs you
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: gots are in and what songs you never made the cut.
• 31:03
  Speaker 6: You know, well, there was there was a song that
• 31:05
  Speaker 6: I was really proud of that Frank Sinatra, open Blue
• 31:07
  Speaker 6: Eyes Some Shell formed to Shing and he actually shang
• 31:10
  Speaker 6: it many times in Las Vegas, but it didn't transcend
• 31:13
  Speaker 6: past Las Vegas. It was called What's in the Bag,
• 31:16
  Speaker 6: Big Man? And it was from the point of view
• 31:19
  Speaker 6: of somebody who needed something a little surreptitious for the
• 31:23
  Speaker 6: holiday season, So it was what's in the bag, big Man?
• 31:26
  Speaker 6: Do you bring me a gun? Did you bring me
• 31:28
  Speaker 6: some drugs? What's in the bag? Big Man?
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: That I love it very not say Frank felt that
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: felt a little and.
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: It's people said it felt like putting a bow tie
• 31:41
  Speaker 6: on a cat, you know what I mean. It just
• 31:42
  Speaker 6: wasn't quite right. It wasn't It was. It was like
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: putting a little, a little a little birthday had on
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: a lizard. It just didn't feel right. It wasn't organic.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: So this is exciting to hear an unreleased Danny Fielder
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: is so excited.
• 31:57
  Speaker 6: I've got many, Darling, I've got many, many, many man. Well,
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: there was another one that was from the point of
• 32:03
  Speaker 6: view of a man who is the ex of Missus Claws,
• 32:09
  Speaker 6: and it was it was I could never be the
• 32:13
  Speaker 6: big Man. That's what the name of the song was.
• 32:15
  Speaker 6: So it was I could never give you a house
• 32:18
  Speaker 6: in the Arctic. I could never give you a nice,
• 32:22
  Speaker 6: pretty slay. I could never give you a bunch of
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: men who made whatever you wanted. But I guess I
• 32:29
  Speaker 6: could give you a pretty good lady. Oh.
• 32:33
  Speaker 9: I could never be the big Man. No, I could
• 32:38
  Speaker 9: be something else. But when I'm enjoying my Christmas time
• 32:44
  Speaker 9: without you, I wish I was in ELF.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, you hacked me until the elf bom And that's.
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: Why it didn't work, Darling. The last song, just.
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: Last night, last line blew the whole song up.
• 32:58
  Speaker 6: And the thing I wish I could describe when I
• 33:03
  Speaker 6: saw everyone's eyes light up when I sang through the
• 33:06
  Speaker 6: whole song and then loved it. And then I got
• 33:08
  Speaker 6: to I wish I was in O and I lost
• 33:10
  Speaker 6: every single thing I lost my house with that line,
• 33:13
  Speaker 6: and they wouldn't let me fix it. They wouldn't let
• 33:15
  Speaker 6: me fix it. He lost your house, Yeah, they said,
• 33:18
  Speaker 6: I liked that song until you ruined all of it.
• 33:20
  Speaker 6: You diarrhyad all over the tash mahalodist now, and then
• 33:24
  Speaker 6: they wouldn't let me fix it. They were so insulted
• 33:26
  Speaker 6: that I screwed up that I lost my house.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: I hate it when you when all it takes is
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: one word to throw a whole job off. It's like
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: you get the Christmas ick and then they can't get
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: rid of it.
• 33:37
  Speaker 6: Imagine the music. I just want to say, the music
• 33:41
  Speaker 6: industry is concentrated. Imagine the entire music industry, but it's
• 33:44
  Speaker 6: concentrated in the thirty days, so everything is more intense
• 33:47
  Speaker 6: than you want. It's fast, yeah, fast, yeah, bb I
• 33:51
  Speaker 6: love to hear, I love to hear any unreleased BB hits.
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: Well, okay, I last year, I'm sure she'd be fine
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: with me talking about it. Uh, it's probably fine. But
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: I was trying to get Siya on the Sexy Christmas
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: track and she Things were going well for a while,
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: but she got kind of uncomfortable with because she said,
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: you know, I want, I want, I want controversial, I
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: want in your face, I want bold, I want to
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: swing on the chandelier.
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: And so I'm like, got it? Love that energy, And
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: we recorded this track that that went a little something
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: like this.
• 34:33
  Speaker 6: I'm a Christmas hor.
• 34:36
  Speaker 8: I'm a Christmas horn to day, I'm a Christmas hore,
• 34:40
  Speaker 8: and I'm a jingle elf in lay, I'm a Christmas
• 34:44
  Speaker 8: hor almost not for thirty days, I'm a Christmas hor
• 34:50
  Speaker 8: and I book every single elf.
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: And again ending with elf crazy.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: But I agree with you, Denny.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: They get turned off by the Christmas really, they don't
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: like the elfy.
• 35:08
  Speaker 5: It's both the connotations that the elves are having the sex.
• 35:13
  Speaker 5: Something about elves and sex is just throwing people off
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: a little bit.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they can't get past it. They cannot get past
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: it for some reason.
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: And it's like these celebrities, you know, once they hear
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: a word and you you say, you tell them, no,
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: we can change the words.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: But do you like the basic idea.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: They cannot hear that. They cannot hear that note. They
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: are incapable of hearing that note. So you went some,
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: you lose some, But I think I am getting on
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: track with Harry styles is interested in a sort of
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: Chris Kringle suggestive track that well.
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: I love Chris Kringle suggestive. It's one of my favorite.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: It's sort of like a tip of the hat to
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Chris Kringle's sexuality.
• 35:59
  Speaker 5: Kringle codec right, cring bull coated.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it goes like cum. I can't sing too much,
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: but it goes something like.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Christopher Kringle fuck.
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: Christopher Kringle fuck, Christopher Kringle fuck.
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: Par of one of the songs.
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: Oh, I don't hear that.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: Actually, I actually don't hear that. But I appreciate that.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: I'm glad that it sounds like in the genre. But
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I actually don't hear that.
• 36:29
  Speaker 5: Aren't you working with Bruno Mars, don't you? There was
• 36:31
  Speaker 5: that big controversy about you and Bruno Mars splitting ways
• 36:34
  Speaker 5: on the thirty first of December on the thirty verse.
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: It's true he broke our contract on the thirty first
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: of December, and.
• 36:41
  Speaker 6: That was for.
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: You make me feel like, look a bucking an elf.
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: No, another parody, and I don't hear it.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: I do not hear it.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's not the parody that's a problem for me.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: It's a bucket of elf.
• 36:58
  Speaker 5: Now I think it was at elf.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: That's what I was trying to tell, because we can
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: change it for radio, a bucket of elf.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I smoke too much?
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: Stones stones, what kind of stones?
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: Gemstones? Bitch? Keep up?
• 37:21
  Speaker 6: What about you?
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: Jesus, Okay, I'll go. I guess well. I had a
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: couple that just people said were a little too sad.
• 37:28
  Speaker 7: I had there's been a ski accident, which was very,
• 37:33
  Speaker 7: very sad when something Mummy, there's been a ski accident. Mummy,
• 37:43
  Speaker 7: where is daddy gone?
• 37:46
  Speaker 6: Mom Me?
• 37:48
  Speaker 7: No, you are my only bed, you are my only friend,
• 37:55
  Speaker 7: and it's Christmas time.
• 37:59
  Speaker 6: Dash, I gotta be honest with you. That sounds like
• 38:01
  Speaker 6: a literal real soufan semens Christmas.
• 38:05
  Speaker 5: I always get compared to him. I always get compared
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: to him because with every soufi sevens it would make
• 38:10
  Speaker 5: it sadder if for a little boy saying.
• 38:12
  Speaker 6: It yeah was really revolutionary for the Christmas.
• 38:15
  Speaker 5: Music industry, degrees away from a little boy's voice exactly.
• 38:19
  Speaker 6: Basically a little boy, but a man came out said,
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: what if I made the saddest Christmas music, put little bells.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: In it, smoking would and listening to his music, his
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: his his.
• 38:33
  Speaker 6: Epiece killed bringing Crosby Ye crazy killed the dead in
• 38:38
  Speaker 6: the water.
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: So yeah, that was a version.
• 38:40
  Speaker 7: It was just a little too sad for for the audiences,
• 38:44
  Speaker 7: so we decided not to put it out.
• 38:46
  Speaker 6: It was really bad.
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: There was a couple of other ones. I've got a
• 38:50
  Speaker 5: new one that I'm really working on and I'm hoping
• 38:52
  Speaker 5: it comes out and comes to fruition. It's called bad
• 38:55
  Speaker 5: Snowball Fight, and I think it's a little more fun
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: than I'm used to, So me do it.
• 39:00
  Speaker 7: Oh dring dring, dring, dring, dring, dring, dring, ching dring
• 39:05
  Speaker 7: ding ding dring ching dring. A little boy lies bleeding.
• 39:11
  Speaker 7: He's dead now, rock Field snowball. This Christmas is over
• 39:18
  Speaker 7: for him. Man, it's over now, rock Field snowball. This
• 39:23
  Speaker 7: is what happens when boys play too hard they kill
• 39:28
  Speaker 7: each other with their toys.
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: That actually sounded like like a teenager singing that. Like
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: it's like a guy in his late.
• 39:37
  Speaker 5: Teeth was my goal. It's a late teenager remembering a
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: story from his job.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: The nailed it.
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you led that seventeen year old point of view
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: when they start talking about when they were little kids
• 39:48
  Speaker 6: and you're like, you're still a fucking baby.
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: And that was the idea. Is this kid remembering how
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: men can be violent, boys can be violent? And when
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: he turns eighteen he'll need to remember that because you
• 40:00
  Speaker 5: guys missed it. But the second verse is all about
• 40:01
  Speaker 5: how he has to go to war.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: Too bad, we missed it.
• 40:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I was playing.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's still wait for us to hear it.
• 40:08
  Speaker 5: Okay, way, Bobby Chester, pair you've been smoking stones and Smokable?
• 40:16
  Speaker 5: What about you?
• 40:16
  Speaker 6: Yes today?
• 40:17
  Speaker 5: These other songs?
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah? Did this drug dealer right? Any other views list?
• 40:21
  Speaker 6: Have a new one?
• 40:22
  Speaker 5: I mean a lot of artists like to release music
• 40:25
  Speaker 5: later in life, you know, because it's it's just a
• 40:27
  Speaker 5: fun thing for them. You've gotten up to fifteen million dollars.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: I've been asked to release new music for years and
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: I always say no. But next year, all announce it here.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Next year we're going to release the unmastered track of
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: the Twelve Days of Christmas Ship.
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: The same thing sounds shitty.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: I'm a stoner. What do you want from me?
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: I heard? Can I tell you am?
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: And I will play a bit of it for you
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: now and you are gonna hear Johnny Christmas in the
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: recording studio and the and the milkmaids, and you're gonna
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: hear us smoking the reefer and the gemstones and you're
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: gonna hear us. Okay, and I'll put it for you know. Oh,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: there's aparture juice?
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: What what? What?
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: So much? Milk?
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: One, two, three, four, five, nine, ten, eleven?
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: Boys moving these here?
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: Drums? Oh, Lords of Leap and nine don't soon?
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: Wow, Johnny Christmas have to do a lot of work
• 41:56
  Speaker 5: to make that come through.
• 41:57
  Speaker 6: It's the original Thurday.
• 42:00
  Speaker 5: How he made that work? He really.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Play in the Grove. They're going to play in the
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Grove live for all the children and all the boys
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: and all the little girls. It's gonna be absolutely I wouldn't.
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: That's terrifying. That's more terrifying.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: Can I tell you I heard for the tree lighting?
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Is that is locked for the tree lighting?
• 42:21
  Speaker 6: Congrats? I guess.
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: Can I tell you a rumor I heard and I
• 42:25
  Speaker 5: need you to say yes, because I heard a rumor
• 42:28
  Speaker 5: that there's actually a mastered version that goes all the
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: way up to one hundred yes, all the way up
• 42:33
  Speaker 5: to one hundred yes. Could you could you sing us
• 42:36
  Speaker 5: a little bit of that? Just past thirteen past twelve.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: You actually love to hear it?
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: Also repeat yourself. Maybe start at eighty seven.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: I have the sheet music, and I would love for
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: you all to join me.
• 42:52
  Speaker 5: No, you know, actually you got Bobby, we don't know
• 42:55
  Speaker 5: it shet music.
• 42:59
  Speaker 6: Read.
• 42:59
  Speaker 5: I cannot sight read you.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Go ahead, well a long songwriter, you are okay, fine,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: I'll do it alone. What do you want me to
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: do again? I wasn't listening, okay.
• 43:13
  Speaker 5: First day of Christmas started eighty seven, started eighty seven?
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, this is okay, yes, okay.
• 43:20
  Speaker 6: So it goes on the eighty seventh day of Christmas
• 43:22
  Speaker 6: or a true love game to me? Yes?
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: And then this is the unmastered version of It's a master.
• 43:28
  Speaker 5: It's the master.
• 43:29
  Speaker 6: Master the lyrics, Bobby, what are the lyrics?
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: There is the lyrics?
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: All right, thank you. On the eighty seventh day of Christmas,
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: my true love gave to me seven lords leaping.
• 43:55
  Speaker 5: Explain your own song to you? Iver heard your song?
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: Have you ever heard your own song?
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: I stopped listening to it five years ago. You in missile,
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: It's over, it's over done.
• 44:09
  Speaker 6: I've never seen a man get more British as I
• 44:10
  Speaker 6: talked to him. Listen to me listen to me, Bobby,
• 44:14
  Speaker 6: because I'm being patient. Look, look, I'm being patient. Dash
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: it is good cop. I'm bad cop. I have heard
• 44:20
  Speaker 6: about these secret verses, and I've been dying to know
• 44:23
  Speaker 6: the things that you've added to this song. So you
• 44:25
  Speaker 6: better fucking do them for me right now where I'm
• 44:27
  Speaker 6: going to call up my friend Dean Martin's great cousin.
• 44:30
  Speaker 6: I'm going to cause some trouble.
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: And just a review, I guess for you. Because you
• 44:33
  Speaker 5: stopped listening to the song five years ago. You can't
• 44:36
  Speaker 5: remember again descending or it goes. You say the thing
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: that like five, eight's a leaping seven.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: This is, this is six ye eighty seven down. And
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: I asked for help, and all three of you said, no,
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: copy here, I got it.
• 44:54
  Speaker 6: We didn't write it, Bobby.
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: It's okay.
• 44:56
  Speaker 9: Here you go.
• 44:57
  Speaker 12: On the eighty seventh day of Christmas, my true love
• 45:01
  Speaker 12: gave to me eighty seven vases, eighty six totes, eighty
• 45:09
  Speaker 12: five girlies, eight all mothers, e three mommies.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: Eighty two computers, eighty one genius bars.
• 45:27
  Speaker 13: Ladies, and seven seventy nine liars, seventy eight hats, seventy
• 45:38
  Speaker 13: seven seven palm trees seventy six, toyotas seventy five, water
• 45:46
  Speaker 13: mondles seventy four, Handles seventy three, Michael's Gift Cards.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Seventy two, Parking space is seventy one, Books sixty nine,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: Sexy Ladies sixty eight, Christmas Trees sixty.
• 46:07
  Speaker 10: Seven, Picture frames sixty eight, churches sixty six, Mother's six five,
• 46:22
  Speaker 10: Eprius's Stick steep four Malls six.
• 46:32
  Speaker 5: This has been Artists on Artists on artists and artists
• 46:34
  Speaker 5: answer the question. Now, that's why we call it shows business.
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: Good Night, Artists on artists on Artists on Artists. This
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: is an improvised Hollywood roundtable podcast created, performed, and produced
• 46:46
  Speaker 5: by Kylie Brakman, Jeremy Colane, Angela Jiirtana, and Patrick McDonald.
• 46:51
  Speaker 5: Music is by Gabriel Ponton. Opinions expressing this podcast do
• 46:55
  Speaker 5: not reflect the opinions of anyone who works on it,
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: not even the performers, because this is an improvise podcast
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: and we're stupid. Full video versions of a O O
• 47:02
  Speaker 5: A O A are available on YouTube, so please like
• 47:05
  Speaker 5: and subscribe and leave us a five star review wherever
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: you get your podcasts. Good Night, Hollywood,