Latest / The Black Sheep Leadership Podcast / AUDIT YOUR CIRCLE Everyone Don't Deserve the Same Level of Access.🤔🚦✂️

Transcript

AUDIT YOUR CIRCLE Everyone Don't Deserve the Same Level of Access.🤔🚦✂️ · The Black Sheep Leadership Podcast

0:28
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Black Sheep Leadership Podcast.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Athena Renee, and this is where the underdogs, the misfits, and the black sheeps come to turn pain into power so that they can build a life by design and leave a legacy behind.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: If this is your first time tapping in, welcome to the family.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: Pull up a chair.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: We're glad you're here.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: And if you're back again, welcome back, my family.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: It's good to see you again.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate you stopping by.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: I don't take your time lightly.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: Now let's do this quick vibe check.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: If you're easily offended, sensitive, entitled, still waiting on somebody to come save you, or allergic to accountability, get your ass up out of here.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: This ain't your safe space.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: So go ahead and tap out now.
1:11
SPEAKER_00: But if you're ready to think bigger, move smarter, and you refuse to live beneath your potential, stay locked in, my friend.
1:19
SPEAKER_00: Because by the end of this episode, you're walking away with something you can execute immediately.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Now let's get to work.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: On our previous episode, we talked about how it's time for you to stop signing up for the masterclass when you have learned the lesson.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: But here's where today's conversation connects.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: If you fought that hard to learn the lessons, why would you give any and everybody unlimited access to the person that you're becoming today?
1:56
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it takes many of us two and three times around that same mountain.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: We have to sign up for that masterclass, two and three and four times before we learn.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of times the black sheep community, we are full of grace for everybody else.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: We see the potential in everybody else.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: We give people access to us when they have shown us countless times that they don't deserve it.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: And so when you think about it, after you've actually learned your lesson and you're done signing up for that same class, why would you continue to give any and everybody unlimited access to the person that you have fought so hard to become?
2:42
SPEAKER_00: Truly think about that.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: Now it's time to audit your circle.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: So let me ask you a question.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you audit your circle?
2:58
SPEAKER_00: I mean, really.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: Not just the people you love.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about everybody that you allow access to you.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Whoever calls you when their life falls apart?
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Who genuinely celebrates you when you win?
3:14
SPEAKER_00: Who can listen to your dream without immediately telling you why it won't work?
3:19
SPEAKER_00: Who leaves you feeling inspired when you're around them?
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Have you audited who actually feels you drained after they leave you?
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Who can you connect or who can you correct or can correct you without trying to control you?
3:36
SPEAKER_00: They just want to see you better.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Who can disagree with you without secretly rooting against you?
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Who do you know that have private information about you that you know for a fact they wouldn't try to bring you down about it?
3:54
SPEAKER_00: Because here's the truth.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Not everybody in your life belongs in your life or with the same level of access.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: And one thing we must never forget just because somebody has history with you doesn't mean they've earned the right to have a future with you.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: See, one thing about a black black sheet family, I can guarantee that some people are sitting in your VIP right now, but they got general admission behavior.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: And black sheet family, it's time to check some tickets.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: And that's why today's episode is called Audit Your Circle.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Because everybody doesn't deserve the same level of access.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Let's unpack it, family.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: Because if you understand these three levels of access, you will never look at relationships of any kind the same way again.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: Now listen to me, because I know Black Sheep family, we are at a crossing point of our life.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: And some of you are fed up, you're tired of being sick and tired, and you out here cutting people off left and right.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: You don't care.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: You're not trying to figure stuff out, you're not trying to explain nothing, you're not trying to fix whatever opinion people got.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: You absolutely don't care because you have got to that point of frustration where you realize you have extended an olive leaf or a branch to people that probably would let you drown.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: But here's what I want you to understand auditing your circle doesn't mean cutting everybody off.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: Everybody doesn't need to be eliminated.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: True indeed.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Some people do.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Let's keep it 100, let's keep it a stack tonight.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: Some people do.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: You need to get rid of them.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: Cut them off.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: They're like dead weight.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: If somebody came to mind, when I said cut them off, nine times out of ten, your first thoughts are absolutely correct.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: But everybody doesn't have to be eliminated.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: Some people just need to be repositioned, and that's the difference.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: See, you can love somebody and reposition them, you can respect somebody and reposition them.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: You will have 20 years of history with someone and still realize they no longer belong in the room where you're making decisions about your next 20.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: And black sheep family, that's where the maturity comes into place.
6:41
SPEAKER_00: You're not even upset, you just realize they don't belong in the room when it's time for you to make moves about your future.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about the first level when you're talking about auditing your circle.
6:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's talk about the first level of access.
7:01
SPEAKER_00: These are your confidants.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: Confants are your inner circle people.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you about this particular circle or this particular category.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: This category of people in your life should be very small, very small.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: Confants are people that who get access to you unedited, right?
7:27
SPEAKER_00: There's no script, they get the raw you, they know your fears, and they may not know all of your fears because I truly believe no one ever knows anyone completely.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: But they know your fears, your dreams, they know enough about you that you don't have to act, you don't have to put on a show when you're around them.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: You can just completely be yourself.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: It's almost like when people get home, they snatch their wig off, or when people get home, they kick their shoes off because they're finally like, you know, uh, I can breathe a little bit, right?
7:57
SPEAKER_00: I can just let it all hang out.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and these are the people that your plans, they know them before they're public.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: Your ideas, they know them before you're finished, they know about your vulnerabilities because we all need somebody to lean on, we all need someone to talk to.
8:17
SPEAKER_00: These are the people who can hear something about you and it doesn't become the conversation for somebody else.
8:23
SPEAKER_00: These are the people that will protect you when you're not around, and everybody cannot handle that level of access.
8:32
SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
8:33
SPEAKER_00: Everybody shouldn't.
8:34
SPEAKER_00: Because information is access, and access is power.
8:39
SPEAKER_00: See, some people that if you have the wrong people in your life, you have someone that in a in your confidant circle and you know they're not worthy, as soon as y'all get into an argument, they'll try to go air out everything about you, they'll go talk about you to someone else.
8:55
SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
8:57
SPEAKER_00: If they talk about you to someone else, and the person sits there and listen and don't correct them or say, Hey, shouldn't this person be here?
9:06
SPEAKER_00: Have you discussed it with them?
9:09
SPEAKER_00: You got a problem on your hands.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: It's a saying that goes, if somebody comes back to you and tells you what someone said, the first thing you should be thinking is number one, why are they so comfortable telling you and talking to you about me when they know we're cool?
9:24
SPEAKER_00: That's number one.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: Number two, what did you say during this time?
9:33
SPEAKER_00: See, your confidence, they don't just protect your feelings, they protect your future and your reputation.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: They'll tell you when you're wrong, they'll tell you when you need to rethink about it, they'll tell you when they feel that your ego is getting in the way.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: And listen, they don't care if you get mad because they love you enough to tell you when you're doing the wrong thing or even if they feel that way.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: Why?
9:56
SPEAKER_00: Because they love you for you, they love the raw, unedited version of you, and they just want the best for you.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: They don't care if you are up or down, they don't care if you stay in the projects, in a ghetto, in the hood.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: They don't care if you stay in Beverly Hills, in a mansion, in the suburbs.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: They don't care.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: You can stay in a hotel, they are still your people.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: That's the difference between from somebody who simply agrees with everything that's going on.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: Some people like yes men around them because they don't want anybody challenging them.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: That's not a confidant, that's a cheerleader, that's a yes man.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: A confidant is a trusted counsel and black sheep family.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: We've been through so much, we've been through so much.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: Only God knows what you've been through.
10:44
SPEAKER_00: But that particular category, I want you to choose carefully.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about the people that you have in those places.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about the people that you actually call your confidant.
10:57
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm telling you right now, a lot of times we obviously we automatically think that people we've been knowing for a long time deserve that.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: But truth being told, they don't deserve the position.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: And Black Sheet family, I don't want you to find out before it's too late that they are not.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: Level two, these are your constituents.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: Now, this category is different.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: These are the people that support your mission, they're allies.
11:21
SPEAKER_00: They may believe in what you're building, they may recommend you, they'll open doors for you, they'll collaborate you, they'll support your business, they'll work with you as well.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: They genuinely want to see you succeed, but they don't necessarily need access to everything, and that's where people get confused because supporting your mission does not make you a confidant.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: Somebody can be an incredible business ally and know absolutely nothing about your personal relationships.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: Someone can be a great coworker and they never need to know what's happening inside your household.
12:00
SPEAKER_00: Someone can support your podcast, your business, your book, your career, but they do not belong in your inner circle.
12:08
SPEAKER_00: And check this out it's not being fake, it's called discernment.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: Stop thinking intimacy is required for alignment because it's not.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: See, some relationships they work beautifully because everybody understands their position.
12:24
SPEAKER_00: Right?
12:24
SPEAKER_00: They understand your position because if you start to put too much on a confidant, now they look at you different.
12:31
SPEAKER_00: See, they support everything you're doing and they encourage you, they really are aligned with you.
12:35
SPEAKER_00: But if you told them about your your problems that you're having at home and all types of challenges you've gone through and things like that, guess what?
12:43
SPEAKER_00: It could change the whole dynamic of the relationship.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: They're like, Oh, I didn't know that about you.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: And from that moment on, they'll treat you different.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: Level three, these are your associates, these are the friendly, respectful, professional, they're cool, right?
13:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, they're cool, they friendly, they speak, but that's where it stops, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: Because everybody you meet does not need to become your friend, every co-worker does not need your phone number, you don't have to have lunch with them, and even if you do, they don't need to know your full life story.
13:20
SPEAKER_00: And I understand, listen, black sheep family.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: I'm creating this, I'm creating this episode because one of the things about black sheep's really how you know that you really have been a black sheep is that you don't have a lot of support.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: You didn't start with a lot of support, and that's a sore spot for us.
13:39
SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times, if we don't have our life purpose and our mission, we will spend decades and years trying and looking for support systems, right?
13:49
SPEAKER_00: And anybody that smiles or buys from us or we think it's cool at moments of time, all of a sudden we think they're our friend, we think they're our confidant, right?
14:00
SPEAKER_00: But many of us know what it feels like to be excluded, and so, like I said, some of these folks, we let them get too close, and this is where we get ourselves into trouble.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: Because just because we know what it feels like not to fit and to be understand, right?
14:19
SPEAKER_00: We sometimes give people access too quick because we don't want them to feel the way we felt.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: But check this out this is a huge one right here.
14:28
SPEAKER_00: Because compassion without discernment can lead to sabotage.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: Compassion without discernment can lead to self-sabotage.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: So you don't have to mistreat people and become all cold, you don't have to be paranoid and suspicious of everybody, but you absolutely need to understand and respect doesn't automatically equal access.
14:55
SPEAKER_00: Just because you respect someone or they have respect for you, that does not mean they get access to your life.
15:02
SPEAKER_00: See, black sheep family, you must understand that as a black sheep, and this is for the people that, like I said, you refuse to live beneath your potential.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: What does that mean?
15:12
SPEAKER_00: No matter what life throws your way, you will continue to find a way to crawl back out and level up.
15:19
SPEAKER_00: And what you must understand is that that triggers people, it triggers people all the time.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: It triggers people when they don't even know your story, right?
15:29
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes you're trying to figure out why people don't like you.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: You don't even know half the folks.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: This is what happens when you're a black sheep.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: You don't even know these people that are giving you trouble, right?
15:38
SPEAKER_00: But they're triggered by your energy, they're triggered by how you carry yourself.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: You could have been homeless for the previous six months, but they're triggered, right?
15:46
SPEAKER_00: But then you get people that's just triggered in general because they know where you're from and they hate the fact that you keep coming back, you won't let up.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: They hate it, and you must understand, family, that you will trigger a lot of people.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: This is why it's important for you to audit your circle.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: People will change, switch it up on a heartbeat.
16:13
SPEAKER_00: And again, this is not about becoming paranoid about people because you could know someone for 20-30 years, and after one scenario, they start acting funny.
16:24
SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing you know, we talk about that acting funny a lot, but it's a certain energy, it's a certain vibe.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: We, you know, a lot of times people always want you to feel like you're overreacting, and you're not overreacting.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: You pick up the energy, you do, you pick up the energy, and so when you understand that people will change in a heartbeat, this is why that confidant circle becomes a small piece of your life.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: It's a very powerful one, but your confidant is something that you really need to be careful about because when you understand that you know, these are the people that could put me out there and have me looking crazy, they know things about me, you know, it'll really make you think twice about who you let in your life.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: But here's why it matters beyond friendship.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: The quality of your decisions will eventually reflect the quality of the people who you have in your life and in your ear.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
17:25
SPEAKER_00: Somebody doesn't have to control your life to influence it, they just need enough access, enough conversations, opinions, doubt, negativity, and fear.
17:35
SPEAKER_00: Enough of, are you sure you want to do that?
17:37
SPEAKER_00: Are you sure that's the right thing to do?
17:40
SPEAKER_00: You don't think you're too old to do that?
17:42
SPEAKER_00: You don't think you're too young?
17:43
SPEAKER_00: Do you really think you can do that?
17:46
SPEAKER_00: And eventually, their ceiling, their limited thinking becomes yours.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: That's why auditing your circle is not petty, y'all.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: Don't ever think it's petty, it's strategic.
17:58
SPEAKER_00: Think about let's say, for instance, if you're overweight, and you know, quite naturally, majority of your friends are overweight, and you know, you you're not thinking about you guys are bonding because you're overweight, you've just been doing them for a long time, and hey, you know, you guys picked up an extra few pounds or whatever.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
18:18
SPEAKER_00: You've decided that health is wealth, and you want to change your body, you want to change the way you look, right?
18:26
SPEAKER_00: You're tired of taking one flight of stairs and just being tired, you're over it.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
18:33
SPEAKER_00: Every time you link up with your friends, these are some confidants, right?
18:39
SPEAKER_00: These are some people that you have, they're pretty close to you.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: Every time you get around them, they're trying to force you to eat the calories and the food that you said you're not eating anymore.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: You said you didn't want no more cake, they're trying to get you to eat the cake.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: You said you're cutting back on drinking wine, they're trying to get you to drink wine every single time, even when you tell them no, I'm good on that.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: Now that's a problem.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you think you're too good.
19:04
SPEAKER_00: You're just trying to maintain your goals that you have, you're not judging them at all.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: You're not judging them at all.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
19:14
SPEAKER_00: Now they're judging you, and this is why auditing your circle, it is not petty, it's strategic because your environment is constantly feeding you information, and information eventually influences decisions.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: But listen, don't just remove people.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: This is where I want to take the original conversation one step further, because auditing isn't about asking who needs less access, access.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: You need to ask who who do I need more access to?
19:46
SPEAKER_00: Right?
19:46
SPEAKER_00: Because black sheep, you cannot build an extraordinary life surrounded exclusively by people committed to ordinary thinking.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: This is something that I'm really like, really, really tapping into.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong, check this out.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Everybody's gonna have their different levels of friendships and be around certain people and all of these different things.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: But family, what I want you to understand is because as a black sheep, you will have people that got more than you and still hate on you.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: Okay, this is where sometimes you need to understand that you need discernment on being around people in better environments, and sometimes it will be out of your comfort zone.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: See, a lot of times, and I know it's almost a catch 22 because sometimes people that got it like that for real, they tend to be around people that have more than them, one or they tend to be very exclusive.
20:41
SPEAKER_00: Any and everybody is not going to get access to them, and you know why black sheep family?
20:46
SPEAKER_00: Because of the conversation we're having today, because they knew how hard it was to climb up and climb out from wherever they are.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: And some of you might say, Well, they came into money, even if someone is a trust fund baby, you will still soon find out.
20:59
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes family will want to sabotage you, family will try to put you out there and have you looking crazy, right?
21:06
SPEAKER_00: So just because someone isn't is a trust fund baby, it doesn't even mean that they have not had some of the challenges that you you are facing, so you have to be very cautious, but at the same time, there's going to be three types of people, and it's about a characteristic that I want you to start looking for.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: Because just because someone has it, material possessions, you know, this particular episode has been inspired by um something that I recently went through with people that I've been knowing for 30 plus years.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: And the one person, I mean, they got when I say every they don't have everything money can buy, but they're living above average life.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: They have a home that's worth about 700,000, multiple cars, they're married, you know.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: Um, you would think they should be happy.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: But this person literally.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Went on a complete uh campaign to try to tamper with and destroy my self-confidence.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: It was almost like a humiliation ritual.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, family, and I'm not gonna get into it too much here, but a lot of things are spiritual, you know, and I know that might be too deep for a lot of you.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, a lot of folks, they're so they're not believers in anything except what they can see.
22:22
SPEAKER_00: But when you see a lot of different crazy things going on in life, it's like, why would somebody do that?
22:27
SPEAKER_00: I mean, everything is not explained with the brain, a chemical imbalance in the brain and all of that, right?
22:32
SPEAKER_00: Obviously, there's different factors, but some people have a spirit on them, and when you come around, you irritate the demons in them.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: It is what it is.
22:42
SPEAKER_00: This is why you get people, you you're you're just like so confused and dumb, found out.
22:46
SPEAKER_00: Like, how can you not like me?
22:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm from the ghetto.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm just trying to get up, I'm just trying to help my family, I'm just trying to leave something back because nobody left me nothing.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: But the very people that got all that stuff going on, they will go out their way to put their foot on your neck.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: And family, I want you to understand that this is an indication that you got something really big in you that you need to be doing because they see the light in you.
23:11
SPEAKER_00: So I want to drop these three characteristics you need to look for in people and just kind of observe them.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: Let it be, don't ask them anything, but observe these people, and specifically, I want you to observe this in people now.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: Because here's the thing it's a two-way thought process on this, okay, family.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: Number one, I want you to think about this when we are talking about placing ourselves in environments where people have more than us so that we can have something to look up to, right?
23:41
SPEAKER_00: And because they do, right?
23:42
SPEAKER_00: You still want them to have these characteristics that way you don't have to worry about this thing that I'm telling you about when people have more than you and they're still quite hateful.
23:52
SPEAKER_00: It actually pisses you off.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: Let's be honest, it's it's so frustrating, it pisses you off when you know how hard.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: But if you look for these characteristics I'm about to tell you about, I'm telling you, it's going to save you a lot of pain.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: But the other one is even if they don't have more than you, because see, a lot of times you can find people on their way up as well.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: See, I will never just automatically say, Oh, I can't hang out with people that don't have more than me.
24:16
SPEAKER_00: No, because that means that we're not an inspiration.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: That means we don't deserve to be in the rooms with people that have more than us, right?
24:23
SPEAKER_00: We're not the only ones carrying light.
24:26
SPEAKER_00: And these I truly believe that these three characteristics that you need to look for in people will help you find some of the best people to be around, whether regardless if they have more than you or less.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: This is going to help you.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: You ready?
24:37
SPEAKER_00: These are the people who believe growth is possible, they're not sitting around waiting for life to happen, they're building, learning, trying, failing, adjusting, growing.
24:45
SPEAKER_00: They don't have to be millionaires or be famous, right?
24:49
SPEAKER_00: They just simply believe tomorrow can be better than today, and they're willing to participate, they're willing to take action to make it happen.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: That's the energy that managed.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: So, the first type of person I want you to look for is the creative.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: The creative creative people, these are the problem solvers.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: They don't spend hours, three hours explaining why something can't work.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: They ask, how can we make it work?
25:13
SPEAKER_00: They see opportunities where other people miss it.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: They challenge assumptions, right?
25:19
SPEAKER_00: You could think about something, you could have something going on, and if you have a creative person in your in your life and you're like, Man, I'm just stumped on it, I can't think about it.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: They will introduce you to a whole new perspective about it.
25:29
SPEAKER_00: These are the type of people that'll say, No, you know what, just keep going.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: You know, I know it's hard right now, but trust me, look how far you've came.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: You got it, don't give up.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: This could come from people that got more than you or less than you, but the fact that they are a creative person, this ain't no fake creativity, this is real creative, right?
25:46
SPEAKER_00: Because one conversation with a creative thinker can solve a problem that you've been just having a trouble with for three to six months.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: Get around people who can expand the number of possibilities you see.
25:57
SPEAKER_00: Another thing is with creative people, they're not trying to compete and compare with you, they're not trying to copy off of you because they are creative themselves, they have their own ideas.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you've heard about these monitoring spirit and stuff like that.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: Well, when you get around creative people, they got so many ideas of things they want to do, only they don't have time to copy off of you, they don't because they are a creative person themselves.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: The next type of characteristic you really need to look for, y'all.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: This one is huge.
26:23
SPEAKER_00: You must look for people that are grateful.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: See, when you find people that are grateful, specifically when you have people that got more than you, but also that have less than you as well.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: But looking for grateful people, this one gets overlooked so much.
26:36
SPEAKER_00: Why?
26:37
SPEAKER_00: Because grateful people they appreciate what they have, right?
26:42
SPEAKER_00: Even though they're trying to work for more, they appreciate what they have.
26:45
SPEAKER_00: These are the people they're not trying to put their foot on your neck when they sit in a big house in the hills.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: They're grateful for what they got.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: Guess what?
26:55
SPEAKER_00: These are not the people that's trying to compete or look at you as a meal ticket just because you help them out.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: Because, like I said, family, they don't have to have more than you, but when they are grateful, they grateful that you allowed them to come along.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: These are the friends that will go on a trip or you know, associates or whatever.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: These are the people that will go with you on a trip and they'll tell you up front, listen, man, I listen, girl, I don't even have a lot of money like that.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: My budget is short or whatever, but I'm grateful that you asked me to come along because I just need to get out the house, I just need to see some scenery, I just need to see something different.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: They're grateful for the opportunity.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: When you see people at work and they sometimes look like they just smiling, sometimes these are the people that get on a lot of people's nerves because you have people that are ungrateful, they're trying to figure out oh, I know they're not always happy and all of this.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: Of course, nobody is always happy.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: Guess what, though?
27:43
SPEAKER_00: Those people have found a way to be grateful.
27:46
SPEAKER_00: Why?
27:46
SPEAKER_00: Because some people didn't wake up in the morning, they didn't, they're just grateful.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: These are people who can celebrate your win without talking about oh, it's their loss and being jealous.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: You know why?
28:03
SPEAKER_00: Because they're grateful to be around winners.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: Why?
28:05
SPEAKER_00: Because they know it'll be their turn soon.
28:08
SPEAKER_00: They're just grateful to be in the environment.
28:11
SPEAKER_00: See, people who don't turn every conversation into a complaining session, people who aren't immediately committed to being the victim because gratitude changes the environments, it changes a lot of things.
28:22
SPEAKER_00: Choose which one you're willing to live around: gratitude or a bitter attitude.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: Okay, gratitude or a bitter attitude, and last but not least, the inspired.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: The inspired.
28:39
SPEAKER_00: Listen to me, family.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: Put yourself around, look for inspired people.
28:46
SPEAKER_00: These are people that are all the way, they're looking for a way out, they know life is bigger than where they are right now.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: They are inspired, they're inspired by small things just to take another step.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: Inspired is an inner job.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: See, inspired is not something that you can get on the outside.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: Inspired is people that have naturally decided that you know what?
29:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do this thing.
29:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm inspired because I know people have came before me and have had it worse than me, and I'm going to level up because I'm inspired by how they did better than some people are inspired by that.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm inspired by Harriet Tubman.
29:23
SPEAKER_00: How could I settle for less when Harriet Tubman was an ex, she was a runaway slave, right?
29:28
SPEAKER_00: Harriet Tubman was a runaway slave, but guess what?
29:30
SPEAKER_00: She went on to become a spy in the Union Army.
29:33
SPEAKER_00: She died owning nine acres of land with a hospital on the property for senior citizens.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: I'm inspired.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: How can I settle?
29:41
SPEAKER_00: When that woman ran away from the plantation, there was no GPS, there was no smartphones, there was no maps for her.
29:47
SPEAKER_00: She couldn't even read.
29:49
SPEAKER_00: Right?
29:50
SPEAKER_00: I always tell my black sheep family: find you some people from the 1800s.
29:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, life was super hard back then.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: You can even find some folks from the Great Depression.
29:58
SPEAKER_00: But life was so hard back then for a lot of people.
30:02
SPEAKER_00: Find you some people that say, you know what, I don't care what's going on.
30:05
SPEAKER_00: I know it was somebody that had it worse than me.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm inspired to climb up no matter what.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so here's what all of this comes down to.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: Not everybody needs to be cut off, but everybody needs to be categorized correctly.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: And that's the strategy.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: Some people need to move closer, and some other people need to say what they are, and some other people need to just quietly lose access.
30:26
SPEAKER_00: This is not showing out on folks and making a big deal about it.
30:29
SPEAKER_00: There, there's no announcement, no Facebook posts, no dramatic speech, none of that.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: Like, see, we're moving, we're moving like the Gambinos.
30:35
SPEAKER_00: We're not moving with all this loud, flashy.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: Oh, let me make a statement on Facebook.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: Listen, we don't need to post since everybody's fake, I'm cutting everybody else.
30:46
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm cutting everybody off.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: No, move in silence, just adjust, move differently, share less, observe more, change the invitation.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: Stop asking people for advice in areas where their life hasn't demonstrated wisdom anyway.
30:59
SPEAKER_00: Just because they have something a lot more like material things does not mean that.
31:03
SPEAKER_00: Look for the three characteristics: the creative, the grateful, and the inspired.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: Stop discussing your dreams with people committed to your old way of living, your old identity, right?
31:13
SPEAKER_00: Don't give confidential information to people who haven't who haven't even just uh demonstrated confidentiality and stop.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: Here's one of the huge ones, family.
31:20
SPEAKER_00: Let's stop confusing history with alignment.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: Just because I've known you for a while does not mean we're aligned.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: Because those are not the same thing.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: I've known you for 20 years.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: Okay, cool.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: But who are you now?
31:33
SPEAKER_00: Who are you right now?
31:34
SPEAKER_00: Most importantly, who am I right now?
31:36
SPEAKER_00: Because if it's not a line, we're not on the same type of time.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: Let me say this because I think we've been taught some nonsense about relationships.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: You know, like I said, we've been known each other forever and all of that.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: Listen, friends, listen, family.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: Some people were only comfortable with you because you were under them, they saw you as being under them.
31:56
SPEAKER_00: But the moment you started peeking and going to the next level, it became a problem.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: Some people don't miss you either, they just miss the level of access they had to you, they miss your energy.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: Remember, I talk about you remember I was saying how many people that leave you and you feel exhausted?
32:11
SPEAKER_00: Energy vampires.
32:12
SPEAKER_00: Some people know when they come around you, they're about to get plugged in with some good pure energy.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: They're gonna feel good about themselves.
32:17
SPEAKER_00: It's just like that house on the block that feeds a lot of people, right?
32:20
SPEAKER_00: If you're from a hood, sometimes you will have someone that'll have a home, and that parent at home will feed you food and all these different things, or they'll let you come by and you know, kind of hang out a little bit, right?
32:31
SPEAKER_00: Because they know you people continue to show up because they know you'll feed them.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: That's the difference.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: Longevity does not mean loyalty, and proximity doesn't mean equal purpose.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: This is why we must, family, we must stop giving lifetime memberships to people who haven't demonstrated lifetime character.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: So, what's your next move?
32:51
SPEAKER_00: Well, you already know information without excuse without execution is nothing more than entertainment.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: So, before we wrap up, here's the three moves I want you to make.
32:58
SPEAKER_00: Number one, audit the access.
33:00
SPEAKER_00: Write down the five or ten people who have the greatest access to your thoughts, time, and emotions and decisions.
33:04
SPEAKER_00: Don't judge them, just categorize them.
33:06
SPEAKER_00: Are they a confidant, a constituent, or an associate?
33:11
SPEAKER_00: Then ask yourself, are they currently positioned correctly?
33:14
SPEAKER_00: Number two, just reposition folks without drama.
33:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, the enemy loves a show.
33:20
SPEAKER_00: I always said that a lot of times people want to get loud as soon as something goes on.
33:23
SPEAKER_00: Why?
33:24
SPEAKER_00: Because they love a show.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: Misery loves company, they love drama, drama.
33:27
SPEAKER_00: Identify one relationship where you've been given more access than the relationship needs.
33:31
SPEAKER_00: Don't even start a fight, don't make no announcement or nothing, just adjust the access.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: Just maybe you share less, you don't you don't call them as much, you don't ask them for advice.
33:40
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you just stop discussing certain parts of your life.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: You don't need confrontation, sometimes you just need repositioning.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's so funny because this particular episode was inspired by something that happened that way, but I had actually cut access.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: But due to someone else that we knew, they said, Oh man, you know, give them a chance.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: I think it'll be good.
33:59
SPEAKER_00: Y'all should work everything out, right?
34:02
SPEAKER_00: And so I went back in and did that, but I realized the moment I gave them access to my life, everything just went just left.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: And you know what's crazy?
34:13
SPEAKER_00: Now the person that said, Oh, give them another chance.
34:17
SPEAKER_00: Now our relationship has been is being tested.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: But you know what, family?
34:22
SPEAKER_00: I told you, everybody don't need to get cut off, but some people do.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: But check this out the girl that told me to give them another chance.
34:29
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I was giving them too much grace as well.
34:32
SPEAKER_00: So I'm not making no big old thing about it.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: I'm already seeing that they're changing as well, they switch it up as well.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
34:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm just quietly removing access, quietly removing access.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: Move number three: build the room you need.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: Listen, y'all, this is the time that we're in.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: We're not doing no more talking about oh, I'm cutting you off and all of those big loud announcements.
34:51
SPEAKER_00: We ain't gotta do all that.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: We just gonna show you.
34:53
SPEAKER_00: And let me tell you something, family.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: People may not say it, but they feel it when you're not on that same crap you were on.
34:59
SPEAKER_00: They feel it when you moved on.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: That's why a lot of people come up against you.
35:02
SPEAKER_00: It's a spiritual war.
35:03
SPEAKER_00: Anytime you're ready to peek and go to the next level, new levels, new devils, right?
35:08
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes those new devils show up as old relationships that you should have been cut in general.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: But this is why we're doing it quietly, we're not causing no drama, and we're gonna build the room we need.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: This is not about going into some room and becoming paranoid and not talking to people no more.
35:22
SPEAKER_00: And oh, I don't trust anybody and looking out the window and all.
35:25
SPEAKER_00: No, this is not what that's about.
35:26
SPEAKER_00: This is simply about identifying one type of person missing from your environment.
35:30
SPEAKER_00: Is it an inspired person, creative, or the grateful?
35:32
SPEAKER_00: Then intentionally put yourself somewhere where those people exist.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: Join the room, join the event, the seminar, take the class, go to the conference, join the professional organization, build those relationships.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: Don't spend your entire life complaining that your environment doesn't support your growth while refusing to change your environment.
35:50
SPEAKER_00: That's what execution looked like.
35:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay, and that's what I've been doing, that's what I'm on, like, and I'm going full speed ahead with it.
35:57
SPEAKER_00: And I noticed that, like, when I became an entrepreneur, wasn't nobody talking about that in my circle.
36:02
SPEAKER_00: They was clapping for me a little bit, but when I saw none of them was willing to support what I was doing, guess what I did?
36:07
SPEAKER_00: I started making new friends and connections by going to the seminars.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: Why?
36:11
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes, family, you gotta pay to get in those rooms because people knew how hard it was.
36:16
SPEAKER_00: This is why, family, when you get to that place, if you're starting a business or even your career and you just want to level up, either way it goes, don't feel bad about paying to get into different circles because you don't know who you'll access in that circle.
36:27
SPEAKER_00: And here's the thing sometimes the fee that they charge is really the criteria to keep the dust buckets away, to keep the negativity away.
36:35
SPEAKER_00: Why?
36:36
SPEAKER_00: Because just like at a club, everybody wants something free.
36:38
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed when if you ever went to club in your club and day, the free line was always long, the free line was always long.
36:44
SPEAKER_00: Why?
36:45
SPEAKER_00: Because everybody looking for something for free.
36:47
SPEAKER_00: Or guess what?
36:48
SPEAKER_00: The VIP line, here's what was crazy: the VIP line would just be 20 bucks.
36:52
SPEAKER_00: 20 bucks, and you could just walk right in and get a person 20 bucks.
36:57
SPEAKER_00: Well, this is why sometimes at these events, if you notice they have different packages, but just in general, they you have to pay to be a part of the environment.
37:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay, that is what we call execution.
37:09
SPEAKER_00: Now, listen, friends, history earns memories, but character earns access.
37:17
SPEAKER_00: Family, your circle doesn't have to be huge.
37:22
SPEAKER_00: Okay, it doesn't have to be huge, it just needs to be aligned, aligned with where you're going.
37:28
SPEAKER_00: You don't need 50 people who know everything about you, you just need a few who know how to handle what they know.
37:35
SPEAKER_00: You need people who celebrate you, challenge you, correct you, protect you when you trust them and respect the person you're becoming.
37:42
SPEAKER_00: Everybody else, they don't have to become enemies.
37:44
SPEAKER_00: They simply need a different seat.
37:47
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that's a nosebleed.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: So here's a question I want to leave you with.
37:51
SPEAKER_00: If you audit your circle today, who will move closer?
37:55
SPEAKER_00: Who will stay exactly where they are, and who will quietly get cut?
38:00
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: Think about that.
38:04
SPEAKER_00: And then make your next move your best move.
38:08
SPEAKER_00: Don't just hear today's lesson.
38:10
SPEAKER_00: Run it.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: Test it.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: Master it.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: Because knowledge without execution is just entertainment.
38:17
SPEAKER_00: Protect your focus, family.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: Move with discipline and study the patterns.
38:21
SPEAKER_00: Stay ready so you don't have to get ready.
38:23
SPEAKER_00: Until next time, information is everywhere, but execution is rare.
38:27
SPEAKER_00: I'll see you on the next episode.